Chapter Text
“Can you lower the fucking volume?!” Sophia says—or yells, however someone would describe trying to make themselves audible over max volume music. Beyonce's music, specifically.
It's fine, she tries to convince herself, it's not fine. She brings her hands up and starts banging on the door as hard as she could, waiting impatiently on the other side of the door for Manon to come out.
Said roommate finally opens the door, leaning on the door frame and looking at Sophia with an obnoxious grin.
“Sorry, sorry. I'll be out in a bit anyway.” Manon apologizes, bowing sarcastically— with the same stupid grin still plastered onto her face.
“I don't care that you're going out. I have exams okay? and I know when you're back you'll continue blasting music throughout the whole apartment,” Sophia states, “I—I just can't deal with this anymore. I can't focus at all with your music all over the apartment.”
“Are you going to study your whole life or something? That's literally all you ever do nowadays.” Manon glances at her—with those soft, plump lips moving, and those gorgeous eyes—extending her arm to push open her door wider.
“I have exams.”
“I know. You said so.” She quirks an eyebrow at Sophia.
“Well that's the reason why I’m studying often.”
“Not a good enough reason—look at you, you're clearly not in the best shape. Mentally and physically.”
“That's none of your business.”
Manon laughs—soft and easy. “You're going to ace your exams either way, Sophia. You don't need to study day and night.”
“Still none of your business.”
“Might be soon if you won't take care of yourself properly.”
“I take care of myself just fine.” Sophia crosses her arms, resisting the urge to say something stupid like ‘take care of me then’.
Manon gives her a look, one that says that's such an obvious lie, I can see right through you.
“Whatever. That's not my point. You have to stop blasting music, you're disturbing me, and you might be disturbing the neighbours next door. I don't want them to call our landlord.” Sophia runs her hands through her hair in frustration, taking a few steps back. “Got it? You need to stop.”
“Fine, I'll tone it down.” Manon sighs, a small smile tugging on her lips regardless.
“Thank you.” Sophia smiles in relief.
“On one condition.”
Huh? Sophia did not sign up for this.
“Do you not have basic human decency? I just want you to lower the volume but you have to have a condition in order to do it, don’t you?” Her brows furrow and her smile drops.
“You didn't even hear it.”
“I don't have to.”
“Yes you do. I'm not a bad person.”
“When did I say that?”
“You said I don't have basic human decency.”
“I still didn't say you were a bad person. Quit putting words in my mouth.”
“I just want you to take care of yourself, god, why are you like this?” Manon scoffs.
“That was the condition?” Now, Sophia feels bad, maybe she shouldn't have judged her so quickly. But also—Sophia takes care of herself just fine. Right?
“Yeah, whatever, forget it. Talk to you later.” Manon says uninterestedly, walking back into her room and shutting the door right in front of Sophia's face.
Well, that went well, right? It wasn't actually that bad, considering their other interactions. Atleast they weren't at each others throats the whole time—which, yes, they are often.
I have exams to study for, homework to do. I can't deal with this right now. I can't deal with Manon. Or Beyonce, really. Anyway, she's being dramatic, as usual. I also don’t think she was wearing a bra cause I swear I saw her—Sophia forces herself to snap out of the weird, inappropriate thinking trance she was just in, and moves back to her desk, opens her book, and with one hand in her hair, the other one resting on the desk, she starts studying—like she always does.
Maybe I should go apologize, a voice in her head says.
But why would I apologize? It's not like I did anything wrong. A different one speaks up this time.
She was sad, wasn't she?
Barely. She was probably just annoyed.
It's still my fault.
It's really not.
She cares about me, and I said she didn't have basic human decency. It's best if I apologize.
God, why do I care so much? It's not like we talk on a daily basis. It's not like we're the best of friends.
Fine. She'll go apologize and be the bigger person. It's not that big of a deal.
“Manon?” She calls out, “Are you there?” Now back at her roommate's door, she brings her hand up to knock—and hesitates. Her hand is left hanging midair while she thinks, should I? I don't want to bother her, but I also want to apologize.
Suddenly, the door opens and Manon is right there, looking intensely into Sophia's eyes.
“I could basically hear you thinking all the way from inside my room.” She says, an amused expression on her face. She spares a glance at Sophia's still-in-midair-hand, and almost smirks. Almost.
Sophia brings her hand down and shifts uncomfortably, looking down at the ground to avoid locking eyes with Manon, or looking elsewhere. It's hard to focus when Manon is not wearing a bra, okay?
“I—I just wanted to say—”
“That you're sorry?” Manon interrupts Sophia mid-sentence.
“Well. Yes.” Sophia mutters, gaze still focused on the ground. “I didn't mean it. I'm sorry. You're… a good person. And you have basic human decency.”
Manon lets out a laugh, and Sophia immediately startles.
What's so funny? Is she laughing at me? She's definitely laughing at me.
“You're forgiven,” Manon places a gentle hand on Sophia's shoulder—oh, how soft and warm her hand is—and squeezes gently, “don’t forget to take care of yourself though, yeah?”
Sophia nods dumbly, definitely not thinking about the hand resting on her shoulder.
“I have to go out now, I'll see you soon, Sophia.” As soon as she removes her hand from Sophia's shoulder, Sophia finds herself missing the warmth of Manon's hand, the way that it felt like it belonged there.
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From her place on the couch, she watches as Manon puts on her heels and slips on her leather jacket.
She looks… beautiful. To say the least.
Sophia can't stop staring.
Manon is going to a party—she always goes to parties. But Sophia asks nonetheless since she wants to hear Manon's voice.
“Where are you going?” Sophia stands up, hands shoved deep into the pockets of her hoodie as she takes small steps to approach Manon.
She tries. She tries really hard not to seem desperate for attention. But she is. She is desperate. She wants Manon's attention, she wants Manon to look at her—only her.
It pisses her off, the way Manon could annoy her endlessly and irritate the hell out of her while simultaneously being so… Sophia doesn't know how to describe the way Manon makes her feel. But she wants. She wants and wants. It might seem stupid—it probably is, but she wants to kiss Manon senseless, she wants to yell at her, she wants to tell her to just move out, yet she also wants to get on her knees and beg Manon for attention, she wants to beg for anything and everything as long as it meant it came from Manon.
She doesn't know when it started. Doesn't know when she started feeling this way. It started small, at first. Instead of dreading the moment Manon came home, she started looking forward to it. She started becoming curious about who Manon really was inside. Paid attention to the way Manon moves, the way she speaks, the way that there is endless care for her loved ones in her heart, the way she pays attention to the small details, the way that she giggles, the way that her smile shines brightly and blinds Sophia's eyes (in a good way), the way that she makes Sophia’s heart skip a few beats and her hands sweat uncontrollably whenever she's around, the way that she has so much passion for her interests, the way she doesn’t let people’s words affect her in any way, the way she always thinks of others before herself, the way she dances and sings along to the songs she blasts—Sophia will never admit Manon has good taste, not to her face, anyway—on the daily, and the way she has a big heart.
The irritation never went away—truthfully, Sophia doesn't think it ever will—a new feeling surfaced, one that is inexplicable. One that floods Sophia's mind whenever Manon is around. It's a bad feeling—to Sophia, atleast—she doesn't like the way it makes her feel. It makes her feel like she isn't in control, and Sophia hates feeling that way. She hates not being in control, and unfortunately, Manon makes her feel that way. With her stupid smile and cute giggle, with her intense eyes that stare into Sophia's with no mercy.
“Party.” Manon answers easily, opening her bag and checking to see if all her essentials are there.
“That's nice,” Sophia replies, gaze trailing over Manon's outfit. Sophia probably looks really stupid standing next to Manon right now—in her hoodie that has a drawing of Cinderella on the front, and sweatpants that are just a little bit too long—the difference in their outfits is really jarring, but she supposes it doesn't matter. It's not like she's going out anyway.
“Yeah. I bet you'll go back to studying. Won't you, Sophia?” Manon teases, a grin on her face as she puts a hand on Sophia's arm and pushes, causing Sophia to stumble backwards with a look of shock on her face—a look that went away as fast as it came on.
“What? You don't know that, and plus, studying is like—you know, good for you. You could use a bit of studying.” She frowns, crossing her arms defensively.
Manon raises an eyebrow, "At least I'm not spending my youth studying. You're not going to stay twenty forever, Sophia. You could use a bit of fun.” She taunts, amusement clear in her voice as she reaches for her phone, typing aggressively—seemingly sending a text or something. Maybe she's texting her boyfriend.
“You—I can have fun when I'm done studying,” Sophia replies, eyes flickering to Manon's phone every once in a while. What would her boyfriend look like? Would he be tall and muscular? Would he know how to have fun and enjoy the moment? Would he be the complete opposite of me? Is that her type? Would she really not date someone like me?
A hand waves towards her eyes, snapping her out of the trance she was just in. She looks up to meet Manon's eyes—her big deer-like brown eyes, the ones always looking at her in either amusement or irritation, or something totally different, never genuine interest, something Sophia finds herself silently hoping she would find in Manon's eyes one day.
“You okay? Did you even hear what I said?” Manon says—her voice slightly louder than usual. Probably to make sure Sophia actually heard her or something. It doesn't matter, her voice is always really sweet. Sophia's sure she could doze listening to Manon talk, or, more preferably, sing.
“Yeah, I'm—I’m fine. Great, actually. Sorry I don't think I heard you, I just zoned out for a little.” Sophia runs a hand through her hair, internally yelling at herself for stuttering yet again in front of Manon. She always seems to embarrass herself whenever she's around Manon. She wonders if that affects the way Manon thinks of her, and maybe Manon wouldn't like someone like Sophia—someone who stutters, someone so deeply focused on their studies they don't pay attention to their own health. Not like it matters anyway.
“Mm, I'm heading out now.” Manon grabs her keys, unlocking the door and opening it, glancing at Sophia one last time.
Maybe she should say something. Anything. Stay safe, maybe? Would that be good? Would it be okay knowing the current state of their relationship? Always teetering on the line between friends and enemies who irritate each other. Sophia would never say they are enemies though, she doesn't think that word describes them accurately enough. There isn't enough hatred between them. There isn't hatred. They're just roommates who annoy each other from time to time, although Sophia would never intentionally annoy Manon, she thinks Manon does it just so she can get a reaction out of Sophia—Sophia doesn't think that that's okay, but she's slowly starting to get used to it, and her irritation goes away immediately when she sees Manon smile or smirk at her afterwards—not that Sophia would ever admit that to her face.
“Stay—Stay… safe. Stay safe,” She mutters, her voice a little bit too quiet, it sounds like she's whispering. Well fuck, this humiliation ritual is never ending.
Manon looks at her, bewildered, before she breaks out into a grin, and eventually starts laughing.
Fuck… This is so embarrassing. Sophia's face starts to get visibly red, the warmth traveling down her cheeks to her neck and her whole body—not to mention her currently really sweaty hands.
“I'll make sure of it, Sophia, don't worry,” Manon says, a glint of amusement in her eyes, “See you later, Soph.” Soph? That's new. Manon waves good-bye and leaves, shutting the door behind her.
Sophia falls to the ground, burying her face into her hands, silently wishing the ground could swallow her whole, and erase the memory of this happening.
“I'm so fucking embarrassing,” She murmurs, wiping her sweaty hands on her sweatpants and getting up, walking towards her phone—and totally not thinking about the way Manon said Soph, her voice was so soft, and Sophia thinks she wants to hear Manon saying her name for the rest of her lifetime. And, well, yeah, that might be a tad bit extra—but when has Sophia ever been not extra?
She opens her phone, clumsily swiping through her contacts due to her still clammy hands (even after she wiped them). Once she finds Daniela—named “latina mommy”—she clicks on her contact, and sends her a flurry of messages, clearly showcasing her panic and internal turmoil or whatever the right word for what she's feeling right now is.
fifi
i think im gonna kms
im so fucking embarrassing pls god
take me out i cznt rake this anymore
DANI PLS YOU GOTTA HELP ME
if i die i no longer have to face her
again
or my exams
two birds with one stone am i right
ok fuck dani pls come over
i need you rn
latina mommy
???
whats going on lmao
im in the middle of smth rn
is this urgent
fifi
yes just come over
ill tell you everything when you get here
but pls come i really need a hug rn
latina mommy
fine but you owe me
im omw
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“What's going on, Sophia?” Dani says as she walks through the door, making a beeline towards the fridge.
“I embarrassed myself in front of Manon. That's what's going on.” Sophia locks the door, turning to Dani—not even surprised that she's grabbing a can of beer from the fridge—and following her, pushing herself up on the counter and crossing her legs.
“Is that why you texted me to come over?” She opens the can, eyes now on Sophia.
“Well, yeah. I guess.”
“Why does that matter anyway? It's not a big deal, and you know that.”
“I just—you know,” Sophia gestures wildly in the air, "didn't really want to make a fool of myself like that.”
Dani sits down on a stool, and places the can of beer in front of her, idly turning the can around over and over.
“Do you… have a crush on her?”
What?
Has Sophia thought about this? Yes. Does she have a crush on Manon? Definitely not. She probably has that thing—you know, that thing. The friend crush thing. It's definitely that. She just wants to get closer to Manon, friend wise. A hundred percent. It's nothing more than that. Nonetheless, she feels the heat rushing to her cheeks, her hand clenching so tightly her knuckles turn white, and her gaze immediately diverting to look anywhere else other than Dani's face.
“I have no idea what you're talking about. Why would you even ask that? That's like—a whole different topic. And no, I don't have a crush on her, Dani. That can't happen anyway, I don't have time for that type of thing—and plus, why would I even have a crush on her? She's like… not my type at all. She's obnoxious, Dani. She blasts music throughout the whole apartment knowing that I'm studying and that it bothers me, she uses the milk I buy and finishes it before I can even use it, she—” Sophia pauses, taking a deep breath, “she's always teasing me and making fun of me, she annoys me on the daily, she smiles really wide when she sees that I'm irritated and fuck—her smile, Dani, it's always really bright and it makes my heart squeeze every time I see it.” She stops for a second, considers continuing, and slowly, everything she said dawns on her. She's pretty sure if she continues she's just going to prove Dani right. Her face finds her hands and she groans—a groan of frustration, that's for sure.
Dani chuckles, taking a sip of her beer. “I can't tell if I have to be concerned or happy that you finally like someone.”
“I don't—” Sophia starts, and Dani immediately interrupts her.
“You do. And that's okay, Sophia, it really is. It's normal to catch feelings and you don't have to be in denial about it.” She reaches over to Sophia, patting her head gently.
“Listen, I know I'm not the best therapist or whatever, but how about you tell me how you really feel?” Dani leans back, taking yet another sip of her drink. Sophia is starting to feel hesitant about talking to her because she's worried Dani might be tipsy—and that's a stupid thing to think, because Dani has a really good alcohol tolerance.
Sophia gets down from the counter, plopping on the stool next to Dani, and crosses her arms, looking like she's deep in thought—which, well, she is.
“Manon is a good person, you know?” Dani mutters, looking over at Sophia.
“Of course I know. She's really… kind, generous, patient, and passionate about her interests,” Sophia starts, running a hand through her hair, “she's also really annoying—but I'm… getting used to it. She's also—” heat suddenly rushes to her cheeks, “She's really pretty, Dani. And her voice—is so soft, so sweet. It just sucks, I'm not in a good place at all right now—with my studies and stuff—to deal with these stupid feelings. Exams are coming up, I have a project I need to finish. It's not looking good.”
And maybe Sophia is just being dramatic over her studying, maybe she actually doesn't need to study as much as she tells herself she does. Maybe she has time to deal with her feelings, but she won't let herself believe that—for the meantime, anyway—and plus, what does Manon even think about her? Does she just think that Sophia's a nerd that never thinks about anything other than her studies? Maybe she thinks that Sophia has a really plain personality and is irritating in more ways than one. What can Sophia really think of this? Even if she has a crush, her and Manon are just so different—too different. Would they work out? Or would they just constantly fight and break up one week into their relationship? Distantly, she wonders about what Manon is doing right now—if she's drinking and having fun with her friends, or even worse, making out with her boyfriend in the back seat row of her car like the couples do in the movies Sophia is sometimes forced to watch.
Sophia isn't good enough to be something more than a friend to Manon.
“After exams then? What will you do then?” Dani asks, can of beer finished and forgotten quite some time ago.
“I don't know, Dani. And frankly, I don't think it matters.” Sophia leans back slightly, an unreadable expression on her face as she blankly stares ahead of her.
Based on the current state of Sophia's face right now, she thinks Dani is going to catch the hint and change the conversation. She hopes she will, anyway.
She's starting to get a headache, and the urge to study is stronger than ever. The urge to flee this conversation, just to avoid talking about the future, spikes up whenever she sees Manon's face in her mind, whenever she imagines them maybe one year ahead. She wonders what they would be like then—maybe they'd stay friends, stay roommates, and Sophia would bottle her feelings enough in her heart and hope they would go away.
She thinks about what her parents would think of her if she starts dating again. Would they be mad, telling her to focus on her studies? Could Sophia afford spending less time studying to spend time with her partner?
She's so stupid, for even thinking of this. She knows herself, she's not going to stop studying if it were up to her. Plus, Manon would not like her. Which is fair, Sophia is just unavailable—in all ways. She would miss parties Manon would invite her to, she wouldn't spend enough time with Manon due to her need to continuously study until everything is perfect in her head, but she doesn't want to be like that to Manon—or whoever her partner is—because as much as she needs to study, needs to perfect everything, she would also one hundred percent care for her partner. She would not want them to go through that. She wouldn't want Manon to go through that. Dating someone that is unavailable is just probably terrible—Dani told her about her boyfriend that used to be so unavailable due to his need to hang out with his friends at any possible time, which, yes, their problems are different but it's the same concept—and she's kind enough to not put anyone through that.
Since when did having a simple crush involve this much stress?
“How’s studying then?” Dani asks.
Sophia blinks, turning her head to look at Dani. She notices the way the shorter girl is looking at her—with sympathy—and chooses to ignore that and look the other way, fiddling with the strings of her sweatpants instead.
“Stressful. I finished everything though,” Sophia replies, “I need to keep revising, I can't let anything go wrong. I need to get perfect marks, Dani.” She's not lying when she says she needs everything to be perfect. She can't afford losing any marks. Sophia knows her parents would get mad, she knows she will get mad at herself. She'll beat herself up if she gets anything less than perfect—and it wouldn't be a pleasant night at all if she finds out she lost marks.
“You don't have to keep revising, Sophia, we all know you're going to ace all of your exams,” Dani speaks, slight amusement in her tone.
“I ace my exams because I revise a bunch.”
“We barely see you at all because you're always cooped up in your room studying, Sophia. You feel really distant. Megan talked to me about this.” She sighs, leaning her chin on her palm.
“And I am sorry about that. I do miss you guys—but you know how it is. It's exam season.” Sophia reaches out, placing a hand on Dani's shoulder—suddenly getting reminded of when Manon did that to her earlier, in front of her room. She brushes it away immediately, wanting to focus on the current conversation.
And you know, Sophia is saying the truth when she says she misses them (them as in Dani, Megan, and Yoonchae), misses hanging out with them. It's been a while since they hung out together, and Sophia is looking forward to the next hangout—after exam season is over, of course.
“You've missed out on a lot.” Dani places her hand on top of Sophia's, thumb gently caressing the latter’s knuckles.
“Really? What happened?” Sophia raises an eyebrow, suddenly intrigued.
“So, I found Megan and Yoonchae kissing last week.”
“What?! Seriously?” Sophia's eyes widen in shock, she's not surprised that they kissed, per se, she's just surprised that it happened so early. Sophia could've sworn it would have taken them two years to even confess to each other.
Dani grins, clearly excited to tell the story, “Yup, no joke. Right after I saw them, they got really shy and practically jumped away from each other. Honestly, I don't think it was their first time kissing.”
“Gosh, I definitely need to talk to them about this. How could they not tell us?” Sophia grumbles.
“I mean, I didn't really say anything about it, but you're right.”
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She sits at the table in the living room, pen in hand and notebook in front of her—though, her concentration was practically nonexistent due to her looking up at the door and the clock quite a few times every minute. It was getting late—it’s currently twelve am to be exact—and Manon still hasn't come home yet.
She doesn't know whether to be worried or not, because she herself has never stayed up very late so the regular time of Manon coming back is unknown.
Why is she staying up late today? Well, since a lot of events happened today—talking with Manon at the door, and Dani coming over—that took off a lot of time from her studying. So, she's making it up by studying late into the night—even though it's not going very well.
Since the conversation with Dani, Sophia has started thinking of Manon a bit too much—which is why she can't concentrate at all—and with every minute that passes by, she feels even more worried.
She keeps thinking about what Manon's doing right now, and wondering why she feels sick to her stomach whenever she imagines Manon with a guy.
Sophia suddenly hears something outside the front door that sounds a lot like keys jiggling and frustrated groans. Instinctively, she stands up—pen forgotten on the table along with the notebook—and waits. She considers going to the front door and just opening the door to spare Manon all the trouble, but she decides otherwise—for no valid reason.
The door finally opens, and her roommate stumbles into the apartment, letting out a sigh of relief as she kicks the door shut and throws her keys somewhere.
Manon reaches down, trying to undo the strap of her heels while standing, causing her to sway and inevitably fail at undoing it. She sits down by the door, a dazed look in her eyes as she continues trying to free herself of her heels—they look pretty high, so Sophia's sure they must be killing her—and yet again, she fails, so, she gives up, taking her jacket off instead and throwing it on the floor next to her.
Sophia watches silently, wondering how Manon still hasn't noticed her yet—she seems pretty drunk, so maybe that's the reason. After a few more long, quiet seconds, Sophia decides to help. So, she walks over and crouches down in front of Manon, noticing the way the other girl has her hand on her head and her eyes are closed.
“Manon? Are you okay?” Sophia says softly, making sure her voice won't get too loud.
She shifts her focus to the heels, reaching down and undoing the straps of them with ease, taking the heels off Manon's feet and placing them next to her jacket.
“Fine. My head just hurts,” She mumbles, opening her eyes to look at Sophia.
“Do you want to go—”
“You're so hot, Sophia,” Manon interrupts her, wrapping her arms around the taller’s neck.
What the fuck?
Sophia blushes, placing her hand on the wall beside Manon's head to steady herself when her roommate pulls her closer.
It's just a compliment. Totally. And plus, Manon is drunk.
Don't think too hard about it.
“Thanks,” She replies, glancing down to see Manon grinning and looking back up to her eyes immediately.
Manon puckers her lips and closes her eyes, leaning closer to kiss Sophia, and, like, what the fuck is going on?
For a second, Sophia actually considers not moving away, but then again—Manon is very drunk.
She pulls back, and she's met with whining and Manon trying to pull her back in.
“Manon, ugh, you're drunk.” She struggles, trying to pull herself out of Manon's really tight grip.
“Please kiss me.” She pouts.
“I'm not going to do that.” Sophia sighs, placing her hands on Manon's arms.
“I know you want to kiss me, Sophia, just do it.” She continues trying to kiss Sophia.
“Maybe when you're sober,” She grunts out, finally pulling herself out of Manon's grip.
And if she actually asks Sophia to kiss her once she's sober, she isn't sure she's going to decline. Like, come on—it’s Manon. Who wouldn't want to kiss her? Anyway, the more worrying thing right now is that Sophia has never seen Manon drunk so she doesn't really know how she's going to act tonight. Well, she's off to a strong start with the kissing thing, but that's not what Sophia is thinking about. Currently, Sophia is wondering if she has to bring a bucket beside Manon or not. Does Manon throw up a lot when she's drunk? Should she give her some medicine for her head or should she just take Manon to her bed? Is Manon even okay with sleeping in such uncomfortable clothes? She looks like she won't be able to change her own clothes, and Sophia doesn't really know if Manon is comfortable with getting help or not. She's drunk, and she's not thinking clearly.
Sophia runs a hand through her hair, looking at her roommate silently.
“Do you… want to go to bed?” She asks hesitantly.
“With you? Sure.” Manon smirks.
“What? No—oh my god, not like that,” Sophia stammers, the heat returning to her cheeks and her hands growing clammy. Genuinely what has gotten into her?
“You might have to carry me,” Manon yawns, “my feet are dead.” She stretches, opening her arms for Sophia.
Sophia raises an eyebrow, but hooks her arms under Manon's legs and waist nonetheless, lifting her up from the ground and standing with ease.
“Wow, you're like—so strong.” Manon nuzzles into Sophia's neck, hand rubbing the latter's shoulder.
Is Sophia dreaming? She must be. Because there's no way what's happening right now is actually real. Fortunately, everything is real because she can feel Manon's nose poking her neck and her steady breathing. She starts walking towards Manon's room, grip tightening slightly on the body in her arms—and also trying to ignore Manon's hands that are roaming over Sophia's shoulders and back.
They finally arrive in front of Manon's room, and Sophia tries to open the door without much struggle—and succeeds in doing so.
“You're sweating a lot,” Manon whispers.
“I know, but you are too,” Sophia replies, walking into the room and discreetly sneaking a look around it—having not been in the room often. It's a very nice room, decorated with posters of what Sophia assumes are Manon's favourite artists and whatnot.
“So, wanna show me how good you are in bed?”
Oh my god…
Sophia thinks she might drop Manon right now, not intentionally—of course, it's just that she really has to stop saying things like this, because whenever Sophia closes her eyes, she fuels her imagination.
“Please, shut up,” She says as politely as she can, setting Manon down on the bed. She takes a step back—but is immediately stopped by a hand grabbing the sleeve of her hoodie.
“Aren't you going to stay?” Manon murmurs, pulling Sophia closer to the bed.
“Do you really want me to?” Sophia replies, feeling a bit dazed by all the events happening right now. She wants to stay, she does, but she's worried about what sober Manon would think in the morning—so, obviously, she doesn't want to take any risks.
“Mmm, yeah, and fuck me while you're at it.” Manon looks at Sophia teasingly, her fingers slipping under the sleeve of Sophia's hoodie and caressing her wrist.
“Oh my god. This is—this is so inappropriate, do you… do you even hear yourself?” Apparently, this is never ending—the whole flirting thing, if you can even call it that because Sophia thinks that this is a very different version of flirting. Who even does that while flirting? And yet, Sophia doesn't find herself pulling away from Manon's touch. Sophia isn't going to partake in any sexual activities with her roommate while she's drunk, but she finds herself secretly hoping Manon would remember all of this in the morning.
“God, Sophia, why won't you just touch me? What are you so scared of? Are you a virgin?” Manon tugs on Sophia’s wrist, causing her to stumble towards the bed.
“What? No, I'm not a virgin. Gosh. You're just drunk, I'm not going to be taking advantage of you while you're in a vulnerable state.” She frowns, rubbing her temple in exasperation, pulling her arm away from Manon's grip. She's starting to find this version of Manon a bit hard to deal with—yet, there are still butterflies fluttering in her stomach whenever Manon even looks at her.
She's so pathetic.
“Fine. Just lay down with me, then.” Manon extends her hand to Sophia, looking at her expectantly.
She sighs, finally giving in and sitting on the bed shyly, fidgeting with the hem of her hoodie. If someone told Sophia yesterday that she would be in this situation, and she would act this way, she would have laughed right in their face. Most of her life, Sophia had been called charismatic, and confident, and some part of her believed that—but now, she genuinely doesn't believe that shit anymore. She is the epitome of embarrassment and being a flustered mess. And, like, this is absolutely unacceptable. She used to be so much more confident when going on dates, but now—somehow, that confidence has dissipated around Manon. Has she found her soulmate?
What a stupid thing to think of, wow.
“Sophia,” Manon whines, “Come closer. Cuddle me.”
She scoots closer to Manon, laying down next to her stiffly, and staring up at the ceiling. She knows Manon wants to cuddle, but she literally can't bring herself to initiate anything anymore. She does not have that in her at this time and situation.
Manon wraps her arms around Sophia, resting her head down on the taller's chest, and taking a deep breath.
“You're so tense,” Manon murmurs, her hand making a slow journey down Sophia's abdomen, and Sophia can only feel herself getting more tense.
“Sorry. I'm not used to this,” She replies, the words coming out a bit more breathless than she intended.
“It’s fine. Today was a great day.” Manon moves to poke Sophia's arm, clearly telling her to just touch her. To just wrap her arms around Manon, and she does.
“The party was fun?”
“Mmh, yeah. So fun.”
And Sophia does not want to ask this stupid question, but it comes out anyway. “Was your boyfriend there?”
Manon opens her eyes and looks at Sophia, before breaking out into a wide, sleepy grin.
“Soph, I don't have a boyfriend.”
“Oh.” Is all Sophia can say. Because Sophia is dumb. She really is. She literally just always assumed Manon had a boyfriend, or a partner, because Manon was just so likeable, so beautiful—that it was almost impossible to imagine her single.
“Are you jealous or something?” Manon laughs, moving closer to Sophia—even though they can't get any closer, since they're pressed against each other.
“No. I'm—I’m just curious.” Sophia shifts awkwardly, turning her face away so Manon can't see the pinkness on her cheeks—even if the room is really dark.
“Uh huh. That's kinda hot, y’know?” Manon yawns.
“Yeah, whatever, you're just saying that.”
“Am I?”
“Yes. Now just sleep, I know your hangover is going to be terrible tomorrow.” She pokes Manon's cheek.
“Ugh. Fine.” Manon closes her eyes, fingers lazily playing with Sophia's hair.
This might be the closest thing to peace Sophia's felt in her whole life. Which well—her mind is definitely not peaceful right now. But the situation sure is, and somewhere, distantly, Sophia knows this is probably going to be the best sleep she's had in a while.
Sophia closes her eyes, and desperately tries to not think about the next morning.
Shortly after, she falls asleep like that. In Manon's bed, and with Manon in her arms. Could it get any better?
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Sophia stirs—suddenly feeling a pair of eyes staring into the back of her head even though her own eyes are closed, and immediately realizes a very awake and very sober Manon is looking at her.
She doesn't really want to get up. And she doesn't really want to open her eyes. What she really wants to do is act asleep for as long as her body will allow her—because, honestly, she's kinda scared. Not to mention, she's still tired and still sleepy. Even though she slept well, she wants to sleep more, and wants to continue cuddling with Manon—but that's not possible since she's awake. The worst part about all of this is that the outcome of this situation will be bad in both ways, if Manon remembers everything that happened last night, she'll probably be embarrassed as fuck and wouldn't want anything to do with Sophia. And if she doesn't remember, then Sophia has to explain to her in excruciating detail what happened last night (because Sophia isn't a liar, duh) and she herself will get embarrassed. So genuinely, what should she do?
She takes a deep breath in, turning around and opening her eyes.
She makes eye contact with Manon almost immediately, and now, intense, brown eyes are gazing into hers with confusion.
Sophia has never wanted to kill herself more than she does at this moment.