Chapter Text
Chapter 12 : Triangulation (Xaden)
Garrick and I are posted outside the tunnel that leads to the flight field, keeping an eye on the courtyard while Bodhi and Ciaran smuggle a few more weapons out of the forge. We fly for a drop at the end of the week. It's been too long since I've been delegating. I need to show up a bit or Syrena is going to doubt our deal. I can only hope for Cat's absence.
My shadows linger in the dark of the tunnel, and I catch the echo of two voices fighting. Sorrengail and Aetos. It's a change, after they spent nearly a month carefully pretending that they are not ignoring each other. I feel Sorrengail crossing and a moment later, she walks past us, answering my silent question with a rude gesture.
"They've been fighting," I tell Garrick.
"Look at you, gossiping about the popular kids," he teases me, but I ignore him.
It's been over a month since Threshing and I've come to terms with the fact that my life is tied to Sorrengail's. Well, kind of. It's not like much has changed. Next year will be a challenge for sure. For now, my relationship with Sorrengail remains undefined. I can't deny there is a relationship between us. It started the day I let her walk away from that oak tree. At least our dragons' bond gives me a perfect excuse not to kill her, to protect her even, and to talk to her in plain sight if need be. But since most of our other interactions remained a secret, I have to let Garrick believe I'm gossiping because of Aetos.
Speaking of, I try to refrain myself from looking, but before I know it, I'm back at it. I have less self-restraint than a toddler when it comes to him. I hate that he's not talking to Sorrengail anymore, because he hides more behind his bland mask. He sometimes lifts it a bit for Mavis or his XO, but that's about it. I hate he's getting closer again with the Third Wing leader. To my dismay, she's being a good friend to him. I just pray they won't resume their past relationship and count on their love for rules and their respective ambitions for that. Like I said, I’m such a child.
He emerges from the tunnel in turn, and I poke him with my secret signet. His shields are down, and for once I can feel he's not only sad about Violet, but angered too. It was about time. While I appreciate the way she's not taking shit from anyone, let alone him, the fact that he doesn't stand up for himself is maddening. He’s a rider, a squad leader, an aspiring wingleader, for gods sake.
"Make it stop!" someone screams, breaking both my thoughts and the noisy routine of the courtyard.
In a movement, I turn, ready to fight. Everyone freezes except for a first-year who stumbles across the open space.
"For gods’ sake, make it stop!" he shrieks again, holding his head in his hands.
Someone is manifesting a mind signet. I scan the courtyard. There are no marked ones unable to shield in sight, so I calmly move toward Sorrengail. She's the only one there who's defenseless against mind signets since she doesn't channel yet.
"You!" the first-year points at someone, "You think I've lost it! How does he know? He shouldn't know!"
Fuck. An inntinnsic.
"Stay calm," Sgaeyl warns me, and I feel her all over my mind, on the lookout.
"Like I ever lose it."
I raise the strongest shields I can muster while the first-year someone has called Jeremiah keeps spinning and pointing at people, wording their thoughts. I'm so sorry for him. It's my first time meeting another inntinnsic and I get why they don't let us live. We're fucking terrifying. Worse, we are a dangerous hazard. I'm one myself and I feel so exposed right now. Everyone stands around Jeremiah, looking at him with various looks going from unease to horror.
"Do something," Sorrengail begs me.
She knows what it means and she's horrified for him, of course. She still can't accept the ease with which Malek strikes here. I see Bodhi and Ciaran emerging from the tunnel and blending into the crowd, wondering what's happening. Shit, I hope they think to shield. I'm too far to do anything about it.
"Start mentally reciting whatever bookish shit you’ve learned," I order her, reminding myself that's how she calmed herself on Parapet. “If you value your secrets, clear your thoughts. Now.”
From the corner of my eye, I see her expression shift to concentration. She gets it quickly. Our secrets are still safe. I focus back on Jeremiah, who has just turned toward Garrick and is declaiming his thoughts loudly: "Damn it all to hell. He’ll know about..."
I act before I think, throwing the shadows around his legs in spirals that reach his mouth and gag him. I give Garrick, who has turned pale, a furious look. He had plenty of time to raise his shields! What was he thinking about? Luckily, I see Carr cutting through the crowd toward the cadet. When he reaches Jeremiah, I look him in the eyes and lower my own shields, allowing him, if he can, to read my mind.
"I'm sorry. I'll commend you soul to Malek."
His eyes widen and a second later, Carr cracks his neck and he falls dead.
Only then do I allow myself to breathe. I know Sorrengail noticed, but I turn away without a glance and walk with Garrick toward the academic wing. There's a lot of heightened emotions coming from every cadet who witnessed the scene, forcing me to raise my shields as a protection. Before I close my sixth sense from the world, I catch Aetos' gaze and his shaky thoughts. He's white as death and turns his eyes away, going back into the tunnel. I'm certain he's thinking how close he was to be another Jeremiah, with a signet like his.
When we reach the rotunda, I turn toward Garrick.
"What the fuck were you thinking?" I ask him sharply, still furious about his lack of shielding.
"I'm sorry," he mutters back. "He caught me off guard."
"No he didn't! He read the thoughts of five other people before coming close to you!"
"Calm down." Sgaeyl orders, shredding my shields.
Garrick looks at me, surprised by my outburst.
"I'm sorry, Xaden. I just saw Bodhi coming out, and I got worried we would not warn him. I was not negligent."
I take a deep breath, trying to regain control of my nerves. I feel Sgaeyl all over my mind, like a protective shadow, helping me to cool down.
"Yeah. Whatever. Forget it."
I leave him hanging and rush to my room. It's only once that I'm safe inside my wards, behind the closed door, that I lean on it and allow myself to release my feelings. My heart races and my hands are sweaty. I close my eyes, visualizing the hilltop on Aretia, but what really grounds me at this moment is the vision of the blue bond with Sgaeyl. I let her take my mind away as she lazily flies over the mountains, Tairn's shadow covering her. I pace my breath with her slow, steady heartbeat.
When I calm down, she gently severs the connection and I go back to my body, in the dark silence of my room. I lie down on my bed, staring at the ceiling. Jeremiah's execution has shaken me more than it should. I know what it means to be an inntinnsic. I know how lucky I was not to get caught. I could have manifested in public just like him. Instead, I just got flashes of intents while dropping weapons to fliers and the help of Sgaeyl to control is as fast as it was possible. Part of me wishes that Jeremiah could have manifested discreetly, so I could have someone of my kind to talk to. But who am I fooling? He was always going to die. He had no other signet to cover for this one, and having another inntinnsic around would have been too dangerous for the rebellion anyway.
But the worst thing is how people looked at him. Like he was plagued. I even felt Garrick's fear crippling his mind when I scolded him. It makes me sick, thinking he could see me like that. I can bear being hated and feared by most, but not by my best friend. Bodhi and him are the only two people I can have a genuine relation with, where the life debt doesn't take all the place. There's no way I'm losing that.
On top of that, I'm tired of being constantly reminded that my life holds by thin threads, and that cutting only one of them could kill me. Sgaeyl dying (though I'm not too worried about this one). Being a leader of a revolution, or just the son of Navarre's most hated man. Like it was not enough, Zihnal keeps stacking the deck: being an inntinnsic. Sorrengail dying. Fuck. I need to rest.
*****
A night's sleep later, I'm back to my usual self. Garrick doesn't demand an apology, and I don't give him one. I just give him my pastry during breakfast, which makes him smile.
Two night's sleep later, formation breaks when I notice Aetos waiting behind me at attention. Fuck no, the least I see him, the better. I try to ignore him, but he notices and makes himself known.
"Wingleader?"
"Yes?" I answer because there's no escape now.
When he’s not talking to Sorrengail, he stands his ground just like he should. I wonder what he wants. Since his transfer to Fourth Wing, he's been on the quiet side, despite being one of the best squad leaders I have. He lacks imagination - he's too orderly for that - but he understands the reasons behind the orders he receives and acts accordingly, which is more than half of his peers. He's obsessed with performance, but he doesn't like for me to notice him too much. If he only knew... I don't know if it's his nature to hide in plain sight or if it's because of me. I didn't care enough last year to pay attention.
"I request a squad transfer."
"For who?" I ask, but I can guess the answer. I didn't see that coming.
"Violet Sorrengail."
I raise a brow at him, masking my surprise but not my unspoken question. His neutral expression slightly cracks, showing a glimpse of unease. This conversation might take a while, so I nod toward the Rotunda, inviting him to follow me. I'm not staying outside in this snowy weather unless I have to. On our short way back, I wonder if I should be disappointed he's giving up on her or see it as progress on his part. I thought he would die before he let her go, even if she's pushing him away with all her strength, though not always for the good reasons. Heck, I love how dedicated he is. Him letting go breaks how I picture him. On the other hand, it's so unhealthy for him to let her roll all over him like that. There's nothing like a good fight to solve problems.
"So," I say when we enter the rotunda, shaking my head to get rid of the snow. "Sorrengail. Why do you want her out?"
Unlike me, he lets the snow wet his head, too focused on our exchange, and I fantasize about reaching for his hair and pulling the snowflakes off. He pinches his lips, his shoulders tense, and I can see his following words are hard for him to let out.
"Because you were right. I didn't try to help her before Threshing. I didn't train her or give useful advice until you prompted me to, which is a failure of my duties. I think this has damaged the trust she places in me as a leader. She can't follow someone she doesn't trust, and I believe she is right not to."
"Do you?" I wonder, knowing he must have rehashed his little speech.
"Our personal relationship makes it impossible for me to be a good leader for her. She needs someone..."
"Someone?"
"Else."
I cross my arms. His shields are up, obviously, which is infuriating at the moment, because I'd love to know what crosses his mind. He has so few boundaries when it comes to her, it's hard to imagine he would ask for a squad transfer as retaliation. Even if she came close to cross them. He must believe it's for the best for both of them, which is... probably true, but not for the reasons he pictures.
"Tell me, Aetos, do you always put yourself down like this, or is this just for my benefit?"
His face goes pale as he takes the blow. Of course, he thinks I'm enjoying putting him down, but my question is sincere.
"I'm asking because if you truly believe what you just said, then you're solely responsible for the situation. Therefore, she doesn't have to suffer the consequences, you should, by giving up your position."
Okay, maybe I'm having some fun. But it's harmless - it's for his own sake even. I have no intention of demoting him. I hear Sgaeyl laugh in my mind, probably reassured by the fact that crushing on someone doesn't dull my tongue. Aetos' stiffens, and I can see the panic in his eyes.
"I hardly think a problem with one single cadet speaks for my overall abilities," he argues, carefully keeping a non-confrontational tone.
"Yet you just told me it was all on you," I point back, leaning nonchalantly against the statue of the black dragon.
At least he doesn't give up his station without a try, which is a nice change when it comes to Sorrengail. He doesn't answer straight away, his shields falter, and I picture a red dragon in his mind. He's getting grilled by his own dragon, apparently. Happy to know I'm not the only one.
"I'm the squad leader," he finally says, inflexible. "It's part of the job to take responsibilities for..."
"And Sorrengail is barely a private. It's her duty to obey orders, and your prerogative to discipline her if she doesn't. Did you even try that?"
I can't hide a smirk at the horrified look he gives me. Of course, he didn't think about punishing her for her outbursts. He can't see himself as her ranking officer. To his credit, I would not switch our places. Making Sorrengail unwillingly do something sounds like hell, and it comes from someone being used to deal with stubborn people.
"I hope for you this never comes to Tairn's ears," Sgaeyl comments, but I can feel the amusement in her tone. "He prides himself on his riders."
"How nice it must be, being appreciated by his dragon," I fire back, and she makes the sounds I assimilate to rolling her eyes.
"She would hate m..." Aetos starts then stops, realizing it's not an admissible argument in this setting. "She was right to question my behavior. I can't punish her for that. This is not the kind of leader I want to be."
Then that's what he stands for, ultimately: being true to himself. That's... admirable, I guess, because I can't hold myself to this standard. It's naive, too.
"Leading implies doing stuff we don't want to do," I drop.
"When you don't have any other choice," he counters with more assurance. "Which is not the case here."
I cock my head, amused by his insistence. Perhaps he is not that naive after all.
"Fine. I'll consider your request," I concede, "if you can admit it takes two to tango."
"I'm not badmouthing Violet to you," he frowns, shocked by my request.
I roll my eyes.
"Oh for gods sake, Aetos, I'm not ordering you to tell me about her weaknesses, but to acknowledge she's the furthest thing from a rule-follower. How is that so bad?"
I get back on my two feet, ready to head to class, and he takes a step back, looking at me with questions all over his face.
"Why does it matter?"
"Because," I tell him as I walk past him, "being a leader also implies knowing when you are not messing up."
*****
Garrick eyes me the whole morning to know what Aetos wanted to talk about, but I also want Bodhi's opinion on it, and I'm not repeating myself, so I just tell him to wait. Besides, this is not the most pressing matter on our hands now. We fly for a drop to Chakir tonight, which requires all of our attention.
Now, this is what I'm telling myself, yet I can't help but coming back at it. It's the perfect opportunity to switch Sorrengail to Liam's squad. It would be best for everyone. I would have some peace of mind knowing she's well protected, she would have an enthusiastic squad leader to train her, Aetos would be relieved, and they could rekindle their friendship in peace - well, maybe not, but that's hardly my problem, right?
Except Sorrengail won't see it that way. Like I tried to tell Aetos, she's not military material. She's going to be pissed to be dragged around squads, and she's going to make it known loudly, and, if I get her right, for a long time. Which means she's going to antagonize me. I'd rather avoid that given the fact we are tied for life, and that I should be working toward bringing her on our side. I could tell her I'm switching her on Aetos' request, but I don't think she would exonerate me. She would just be pissed at both of us.
"Not to mention, Aetos might blame you for throwing him under the carriage, right?" Sgaeyl teases me with a deadpan tone.
"You're the one who mentioned it, not me."
He's probably expecting it anyway. However, Sorrengail will probably blame him for taking a sensible decision regarding her for once, and he would be incapable of defending himself. Which should not be my problem. Yet I don't want to be the one to expose him. Or the one to deal with Sorrengail displeasure, but alas, I don't see any escape from that.
"I hope your mate doesn't care too much about human drama," I tell Sgaeyl, "because I'm not dealing with his antics on top of his rider's."
"You'll deal with whatever comes just fine," she says, and I feel her taking off. "That's why I chose you."
Still a backhanded compliment, nice. I raise my shields as I know she's going to feed and get up to my room. The night is falling over the college. It's barely five in the afternoon, but it's almost winter. This time of the year leaves us more latitude for the drops, but we still be waiting for later hours to join our dragons. In the meantime, I'm taking a nap and a break from all those headaches.
*****
When I get up two hours later, my mind is clear and focused on tonight's task. I take my flight jacket and googles, my swords, and I get silently out of my room. Garrick and Masen join me in the corridor and we descend the stairs, heading for the flight field. In the rotunda, Bodhi and Ciaran are waiting for us. We're all here. The weapons are already tucked beneath our dragons’ scales, so there's no proof of what we're doing if we're caught. There are five of us, it's already a death sentence, but we can't be less if we want to keep our activities a secret.
"We're here," Sgaeyl tells me, and I can feel she just landed in the field with the others.
I always wondered how they deal with the Empyrean since the rebellion. It seems the dragon politics are less drastic than ours: as long as they don't break the deal of secrecy they made with our leaders, they are free to fight venin however they see fit. We just have to find out the truth by ourselves. Because I can't believe the elders are blind to our activities. They didn't kill the dragons who sided with my father, and they allow them to bond to a large extent with marked ones. Perhaps having six leaders, each protecting their den, leads to more sensible solutions than just one royal family, who knows. I wish I could know more, but even Sgaeyl, as rebellious as she is, is bound by the rules of her race.
We're halfway into the tunnel when I hear a loud "GO BACK!" in my head. It's so loud it hurts, making me let out an exclamation and holding my head. I don't recognize the voice.
"The silver one!" Sgaeyl presses, and shares an image of Sorrengail surrounded in her room.
I don't try to understand. I just run back toward the buildings, ignoring the panicking whispers of my companions. I've never run so fast in my life - I've never run quite literally for my life before this moment. The rotunda - I feel Sgaeyl's panic in my mind - the stairs - I see through her Tairn flying helplessly toward the dorms building - the hallway, and finally the door that I snatch open with shadows before I can touch it.
I embrace the scenery with a quick glance: Sorrengail is held by the throat by an unbonded - wait, no, she's right next to me. What the hell? Never mind. Six to one.
"You're all fucking dead," I state, with all the strength of my own will and two dragons' at the same time.
And I go for the kills.
*****
She's shocked, obviously. I would be too if I hadn't seen worse, and if I hadn't a million questions coming in my mind. How did they get in? How did she survive, given the condition of her clothing? What did I witness when I opened the door?
"We're coming to you both," I demand to Sgaeyl, and she doesn't fight me back.
Fuck, I feel adrenaline fueling my system like I was the one just caught off guard in my own bed.
"Yes, you're alive," I gently say to Sorrengail while Garrick and Bodhi take charge of my victims.
"I didn't realize I'd said that out loud," she answers, shaking with the whole body.
Fuck. Did she? I have no idea. I feel Sgaeyl's alarm in my mind, echoing to mine.
"It's the shock," I say in an uncompromising way. She doesn't contradict me. Phew.
I undertake to check she's not wounded, which takes some convincing until she explains she has a dragonscales armor. Wow. Well, that gives me an explanation as to her survival tonight and one or two other occasions. It's a gift from her sister. Ingenious. Apparently, being smart is mandatory to be a Sorrengail’s sibling.
While I try to convince her to let my check her ribs, Masen and Ciaran take the last corpses and Garrick announces they are done.
"Thank you," I tell him, and our eyes meet before I shut the door on him with lesser magic.
I'll have a lot of explaining to do in the morning. The morning... oh fuck. The drop. No way we're going. Demanding an explanation from the dragons is going to take a while, leaving us little time to find the drift and deliver our packages. The Poromish fliers are going to be pissed. I’ll deal with that. They can’t afford the luxury to stay mad at us for one missed drop. I turn back to Sorrengail.
"Now, let me see your ribs. We're wasting time."
She turns her back on me, looking at me through her mirror. I focus my eyes on her back while she takes off the sleeves of her nightgown.
"You'll have to..."
"I know how to handle a corset."
I hate where this is going. I can feel her shivering when I touch her skin, and can feel her intention shifting from fear to desire. Adrenaline, again, I decide. Her emotions are still high from the murder attempt. Sexual arousal is common in such cases, more so when I know she finds me to her taste. But it's not the time, or place, and more importantly, I won't reciprocate. I unlace the corset quickly, careful not to touch her too much.
"How the hell do you get yourself into this thing every morning?" I ask, trying to shift her focus to something else.
"I'm freakishly flexible. It's part of the whole bones-snapping, joint-tearing thing," she answers, holding her hair in front of her.
Nature likes everything in balance, I guess. I inspect her and reassure us both that she's fine. She's very, very lucky to have survived the attempt with so few injuries. I take her boots and hand them to her.
"Can you put your boots on?" I ask.
She nods and sits on her bed, bending carefully to put the shoes on. She must suffer hell, but she doesn’t complain. Lucky and brave it is, then. The bruises on her ribs could put more experienced riders on bed rest for days, and yet she still stands.
"You're going to have to walk through the pain, and we have to do it fast," I tell her, ready to put her cloak on her the second she stands.
Because it's past two a.m. in the morning, and leadership gets up early. I need to have a little chat with our dragons before joining Garrick and the others to cover our tracks. Too much activity at night is going to get us caught. I take her hand as we get out of her room, pretending we’re a couple sneaking around. I remind her to keep it quiet and almost drag her to the secret tunnel. She doesn't complain once. In fact, her thoughts alternate between the hurt and the lust. Really, I should be flattered that a woman like Sorrengail is into me. Not Sorrengail, I correct for myself. Violet. There's no way I can call her by that hateful name after seeing how she's navigating this deadly night.
"Holy shit," she whispers when I reveal the secret entrance.
"Hope you're not afraid of the dark," I say as I pull her inside. "But just in case you are..."
I snap my fingers and lit the mage lights.
"Thanks."
I let go of her hand now that there's no need to keep the pretense for safety. No one can see us there. She has a hard time following me.
"You could... be a little more considerate," she pants.
"I’m not going to baby you like Aetos does." Fuck, what did I just say? Why did I need to bring Aetos into the middle of this? "That’s only going to get you killed once we get out of Basgiath."
"He doesn’t baby me."
Despite their fight, there's still loyalty left between them. Could there be more? Jealousy streaks my heart a bit. They kissed and it led nowhere, I tell myself. No need to worry. Unless they're hiding it well? Sure, she fancies me, but who never fantasizes outside their relationship?
"He does and you know it. You hate it, too, if the vibe I’m picking up on is any indication. Or did I read that wrong?"
"You're a reckless child," Sgaeyl intervenes in my head, and she's right. It's stupid of me, to use my secret signet to pry for information about something that trivial after what just happened. More so when even if she told me "Dain is totally into you", I could not act on it.
"He thinks this place is too dangerous for someone…like me, and after what just happened, I’m not sure I can really argue with him." She pauses. I silently disagree. What they did tonight said nothing of her abilities or her character. Anyone can be victim of a murder attempt here. "I don’t think I’ll bother sleeping again. And if you even think about suggesting that you sleep with me for safety from now on..."
"Hardly," I scoff, and I don't say more because I won't entertain her fantasy. We're going to deal with each other for life, I need to set things straight before it gets too awkward.
"You're worried about me killing you while we sleep?" she tries again.
"I have zero concern about that." Which is a concern in itself. "As violent as you are, I'm not even sure you could kill a fly. Don't think I didn't notice that you managed to wound three of them and never went for a kill shot."
We've slowed down. I shoot a disapproving look at her as the tunnels turns.
"I've never killed anyone," she confesses in a whisper.
Which is generally a good thing. Nobody should have killed somebody at twenty. If you have, either you had a shitty life or you're a psychopath. But after conscription, well. Things change.
"You're going to have to get over that. All we are after graduation are weapons, and it's best if we're honed before leaving the gates."
I hope she's listening to what I'm saying, because this is something she's going to have to accept. Not going for a kill when your life is threatened is wild. Her guts should have taken over her morality. But since she's asking instead where we are heading, it seems to be wishful thinking.
"Wait. This is another way to the flight field?"
"Yes," I confirm. "It’s not exactly common knowledge. And I’m going to ask you to tuck this little tunnel into the file of secrets you keep on my behalf."
Maybe if I get her used to secrets, she'll be so used to them when she'll learn about venins that she won't bat an eye. Then I remember she'll learn about her brother probably around the same time, so not a chance.
"Let me guess, and you’ll know if I tell?"
“Yes."
"Are you going to promise me another favor?"
Thinking of her brother, she sounded just like him saying that. I call her naive, but she's a quick learner, this one. She's stuck with me in the middle of the night, just survived an assassination attempt and she's still capable of joking and trying to come out on top. Impressive, but I'm not letting her steamroll me.
"Having one of my favors is more than enough, and we’ve already reached mutually assured destruction status, Sorrengail."
I've some work to do to manage to call her Violet out loud. I divert the conversation by urging her to go faster, but she doesn't fall for it.
"What were you doing tonight anyway?"
"What makes you ask?", I rebuff her, now wary of her questions.
"You made it to my room within minutes, and you’re not exactly dressed for sleeping."
Seriously, she hadn't anything else to think of at the moment? This is scribe training for sure.
"Maybe I sleep in my armor, too," I deflect.
"Then you should pick more trustworthy bedmates."
I snorts, letting out a smile as I think about Garrick and Bodhi. If only she knew the level of trust between us. We have her mother to thank for that.
"So you’re not going to tell me?" she insists.
So she's brave, witty, observant and persistent. We're fucked if she's not on our side for sure. I don’t get why she doesn’t move me the way Aetos does. She’s everything I like in women, she’s bound to be by our side one day, she already is inclined too. It would be way easier to like her instead. Or a marked one, at least. Or Catriona. I’m going to stop going this way, now.
"Nope. Third-year business."
I finally see the end of the tunnel and thank Zihnal our conversation has to stop now. I open the secret door and we get out on the flight field, at the sound of wings. Three dragons - or two and a half, depending on how you see it - are landing, making the earth shudder.
“I’m guessing the wingleader wants a word?” Tairn steps forward and Sgaeyl follows, her wings tucked in tight, her golden eyes narrowing on Violet.
Yes, the wingleader does. And he's going to have it.
*****
It's almost five when I finally knock on Garrick's door. I pride myself on being resistant, but my brain received too many pieces of information for not enough sleep. I dream of crashing on my bed, even for an hour. Instead, here I am, dealing with shit again, having to lie to my best friend and my cousin for Sorrengail, again.
I should not be surprised that Andarna is a juvenile. Her size alone gives it away, and it explains why Sgaeyl was smothering her the whole time. I thought it was strange of her to be all over the little dragon. I almost feared she was softening.
"Rest assured I'll live up to my reputation."
I smile as the doors open, but I can't help but feel hurt about the secrecy. I know she's bound by the law of her kind, but my mind has no secrets for her, and she hides so many. I often forgot how unbalanced our relationships are. Two souls bond, and there's still room for secrets. It's unnerving.
"I thought you’d never get here," Garrick mutters when he closes the door behind me.
Bodhi sits on his desk. They are both still fully clothed and very much awake.
"Had to go show Sorrengail to her dragons," I explain. "The little one was worried sick."
I let myself fall on the chair, enjoying the rest at last.
"You sorted out the bodies?"
"Yes," my cousin answers, making his shoulders roll, to let me know it was not an easy ride. "But nobody is going to ask much questions about a bunch of dead unbonded anyway."
True.
"You managed to get an explanation as to how they entered her room?" Garrick inquires.
No questions about the chat with the dragons. Finally, it's easy to lie when no one knows there is something to hide.
"Yes, I did, and we have a problem."
"When don't we have one?"
Also true.
"Sorrengail saw a rider opening her door. It was Mavis."
"Shit," Bodhi swears. "How are you going to deal with it?"
Of course. They don’t ask if, they ask how. They know I will deal with it. It’s not like we have a choice, though. I don't have to think long before answering the question:
"Very publicly."
"You want to call for a quorum?" Garrick asks, skeptical. "It's risky. Voldaren will probably hear you out, but Izar..."
"If I can't get a quorum, I'll handle it on my own. But one way or the other, Mavis dies before the end of the week and people need to know with the utmost certainty that going after Sorrengail will get them killed."
There is no way I let idiots play with my life. As shitty as it is, I still value it.
"You'll testify with me," I add.
"Our words won't carry much value," Bodhi objects, raising his arm where the rebellion relic shines.
"No, but Sorrengail's will. No one will believe she would lie to save me."
Because, as annoying as it is, our connection is not a two-way street. While her death will probably kill Tairn, then consequently Sgaeyl and me, there is no proof that my death would kill Sgaeyl and the rest of them. She isn't particularly known for the strength of her bonds. If it wasn't so common for dragons, it would be slighting. But I think she's right. Tairn's attachment to his riders, especially so soon after bonding, makes no sense. If we humans had a choice, I bet very few of us would choose to die if our dragon did, if only to avenge them.
"Speaking of," my cousin asks. "Do you think Mavis was targeting Sorrengail or you?"
I haven’t given it a thought yet. Mavis hates me, so she probably thought she could kill two birds with one stone. But it seems a bit stupid, because I hardly think she would have been rewarded for killing the most powerful dragon at our disposal – which would explain why she used the unbonded, so she didn’t get her hands dirty. Either she didn’t factor that, or she didn’t believe it, in which case she was going for Sorrengail. Anyway, it’s a good question to which we’ll never have the answer, because I’m not seeking it.
"It doesn't matter. It's the same these days. I’m not risking it once more.”
"So you're bringing Liam in the game." Garrick says that as an observation more than a question.
"Yes. I should have done it since Threshing."
His jaw flexes, but he doesn't say anything. I didn't mean to blame him. He suggested to let her prove herself first, yes, but I agreed without giving it much thought.
"You mean you're moving Liam into his section?" Bodhi jokingly whines, nodding toward Garrick. "That's unfair!"
I know he's trying to lighten the mood, but this reminds me of Aetos' request. Fuck. Aetos. Mavis - Her execution is going to crush him. I put this thought aside for now.
"Actually, I'm not sure." They both look at me with surprise. "Aetos came to me this morning. He requested a squad transfer for Sorrengail."
"That is unexpected," Garrick whistles.
"Yeah. I wasn't sure I would grant his request, but given what happened tonight..."
"Why would you deny it in the first place?" Bodhi frowns. "The less we have to deal with him, the better."
"It's not about him," I pretend. "Have you noticed how stubborn Sorrengail is when she's pissed?"
"A bit like you, you mean?"
I toss Bodhi a dark glance, but he just smiles back, and Garrick coughs in his hand to hide his own amusement. And they say they are loyal.
"Assholes."
"I thought you liked honest people," Garrick joins in.
"You've never heard of the concept of diplomacy?"
"We're learning from your book."
Bodhi again. Gods, they're in good shape. They probably took a nap while they were waiting for me.
"If you don't have anything useful left to say, I'm going to sleep," I tell them, getting up. "Cause I'm the one getting grilled tomorrow."
"Technically, it'll be Mavis..."
They are exhausting. But I'm lucky to have them.
Once I'm back in my room, I go to bed quickly, trying to get as much sleep as I can. I will have to get up early tomorrow to get to Panchek. Breach of Codex are to be addressed in his or one of his representative's presence. Given who I am, I'm pretty sure I'll have some convincing to do.
Now that everything is set, I allow myself to get back to unreasonable considerations. As of late, it takes the name of Aetos again. I wonder how he's going to deal with this mess. One of his friends trying to get another killed. And, as a result of the failed attempt, the latter being instrumental in the execution of the former. Is he going to side with Mavis, or will his loyalty toward Violet take precedence? In any case, it's going to be hard on him, and I’ll find myself being the one giving the order. The orders, actually. I haven't decided yet whether I transfer Liam or Violet. No matter what, I hope it won't fuel his defiance of me.
"Stop thinking about that. If he doesn't understand, he doesn't deserve to be noticed."
"It's always so easy with you."
"Unlike humans, dragons live long enough to learn true wisdom."
"You sound awfully like Tairn."
"You could learn one thing or two from him."
Oh no, not a chance. I'm having a hard time enough getting used to the idea that his grumpy ass can get in my head. I've always suspected it, since I see a black thread next to Sgaeyl when I ground, but until now, he refrained himself from speaking to me. I hope he goes back to that. Dealing with one butthead is enough.
"Speaking of the terrible three, Sgaeyl," I say before slumber takes me. "Violet's armor. I want one."
"Sure. You'll look wonderful in a corset."
I chuckle, and then I fall asleep.
*****
I listen to the death roll, most of whom are my doing, from the back of the courtyard, dreading what I'm about to do. My gaze keeps slipping back to Aetos, wondering how he'll take it. I'm about to destroy a part of his world to keep another one safe, and I don't know which he'll rather keep. I'm still undecided about the squad transfer. It all depends on how this is going to affect their relationship, I guess. I thought about asking Violet’s opinion, but I'm the wingleader. This is my call. I'll see how they both deal with the announcement, then I'll rule.
I head towards the dais as Panchek announces that a breach of the Codex has occurred. This is my cue. I climb the steps and take the spot in front of the dais, behind the podium. I lean on it and look at my wing, trying not to stop on Aetos' face, but I can't help noticing his confused expression and the way he looks at Violet. He saw her bruises.
"Early this morning," I begin, "a rider in my wing was brutally, illegally attacked in her sleep with the intent of murder by a group primarily composed of unbondeds. As we all know, this is a violation of Article Three, Section Two of the Dragon Rider's Codex and, in addition to being dishonorable, is a capital offense."
I pause, giving the crowd time to react. It's mostly confusion at this point.
"Having been alerted by my dragon, I interrupted the attack along with two other Fourth Wing riders.” I make a sign at Bodhi and Garrick, who step forward. “As it was a matter of life and death, I personally executed six of the would-be murderers, as witnessed by Flame Section Leader Garrick Tavis and Tail Section Executive Officer Bodhi Durran."
And now it begins. Defiance from those who don't know us. To my pleasure, I notice that Da - Aetos doesn't frown, but I can't guess what it means. He knows there are my two best friends, so I suppose it's not suspicious to him. I stretch my own shadow under the thin layer of snow, all the way to his feet.
"But the attack was orchestrated by a rider who fled before I arrived. A rider who had access to the map of where all first-years are assigned to sleep, and that rider must be brought to swift justice. I call you to answer for your crime against Cadet Sorrengail."
I pause, shift my focus to Third Wing, and say the world that I won't be able to take back: “Wingleader Amber Mavis.”
“What the hell?”