Chapter Text
Alright, so the bonding time he had with Blue didn’t go that great. It was fine, it was the first time they tried it – well, second, but the first time was pretty much an emergency. They had to bond a little or else the Galra would have erased them from the universe.
So, yeah, bonding only happened for the sake of survival.
Keith led Lance out of the cockpit and walked beside him while they meandered throughout the castle. If Lance ignored the way Keith’s jacket shifted (he could hear it since it was the only leather thing on this ship), he could have almost passed the silence off as comfortable. Lately, the two of them have been spending more time together, but it wasn’t a major thing. Like, it wasn’t as if they were actively seeking each other out, it just happened. Mostly when Lance disappeared for too long and Keith came and found him, but after that when Keith knew he was okay, he stuck around. Lance was ready to call them friends in terms of their relationship instead of teammates. Which was a significant shift from teammate and rival.
Keith’s jacket squeaked a little for the umpteenth time and Lance swore it was as if Keith was turning to look at him, think about it, and then look away.
“Okay, what gives.”
He heard Keith stumble slightly before recovering. “Nothing.”
"Keith, you jacket makes a noise every time you turn to me, and it's happened like five times. It's obviously something." Lance nudged him in what he hoped was Keith's arm.
The red paladin grumbled something under his breath.
“Ya know, I may be blind, and my hearing is wonderful, but it’s not that great. You gotta speak up, Keith.”
Keith sighed and pulled Lance to a stop with a hand on his elbow. Lance crossed his arms and faced Keith’s general direction.
“I’m over here, you idiot,” Keith muttered, gently turning him.
“Oh, thanks…”
His friend sighed again and shifted his feet, the soles rubbed against the floor. Lance waited.
After a moment, Keith spoke, “Why were you crying inside your lion?”
Lance sucked in a breath and looked away. He felt like his body was gearing up to cry again – his chest suddenly hurt, his head pounded and his heart felt like it stopped for a moment.
“You don’t have to tell me everything, I was just… just curious.” Keith buried his hands in his pockets and shrugged. “Just making sure you’re doing okay. As a friend.”
Lance shoved his own hands into his pockets, wriggling his toes inside this shoes. “Yeah, I’m okay, was just trying to bond with Blue.”
“And it didn’t go well?”
Lance frowned and looked down, blinking back his tears. He tried to keep his eyes closed as much as possible, everyone's reactions were nearly the same when he opened them out of habit. They either flinched away or immediately switched to doting on him. He'd rather keep his eyes closed and hide as much of the damage as possible.
“Yeah… it didn’t.”
Keith shifted again. “I’m sure she will come around.”
Lance nodded and bit his lip. He desperately wanted Blue to bond with him, he just didn’t know how to reach that point. Not even Keith had reached that level with Red.
“That’s the hope.”
Keith patted his shoulder and nudged him into walking again, the same direction they were going before they stopped. “You could always talk to Shiro, he was able to get the Black Lion to bond with him enough so he could see through her.”
“Wait, how’d you know –”
Lance could almost hear Keith roll his eyes and smirk. “C’mon Lance, it’d be the most logical thing to do.”
“Haha, okay wise guy, you haven’t managed to perfect that skill either.”
Keith laughed. “I know. And that’s the reason why you should talk to Shiro, he has.”
Lance raised his eyebrows in awe; Keith the Garrison’s best fighter pilot after Shiro, mister perfection himself, admitted to not having done something.
“Okay, who are you and what have you done with Keith?”
“Uh, nothing? I’m still me.”
“Riiiight, I so totally believe you.”
Keith laughed again and bumped shoulders with Lance. He could feel the tension melt away as they joked around a little. It felt like Lance wasn’t even blind.
The next day, Lance was wandering around, looking for Shiro. He missed meal time, something that had become a habit lately. It was hard to sleep when everything was already dark. Lance's internal clock was knocked out of rhythm and now he has the hardest time figuring out when it was the day cycle or the night cycle. And by the time he did – mostly because of Hunk's snoring – it was already well into the wee hours of the morning. When he fell asleep, it was still fitful and full of tossing and turning before his mind exhausts itself and lets him fall into unconsciousness.
So here he was, searching for their oh-so-awesome leader and ask him how the heck he managed to bond with the Black Lion so well after slurping down a bowl of food goo.
“Dammit, Shiro, where are y-”
Lance bounced off a solid and quite warm wall before hands grabbed his shoulders to keep him from falling.
“You okay, Lance?” Shiro asked.
Well, speak of the devil and he shall appear.
Lance rubbed his nose gingerly, it was smarting a little after running into Shiro. The guy really needed to take a break, those muscles were like rocks.
“Yeah, I’m fine, was actually looking for you.”
Shiro chuckled and turned Lance around to walk in the direction that he was originally heading. He kept a light hand on Lance’s shoulder.
“Okay, what’s up?”
Lance gnawed on his bottom lip for a second before diving right in. “Do you remember when we were on Arus and we just got all the Lions together? Like, the training exercises that Coran put us through?”
He heard Shiro sigh. “All too well, but what about them? Does this have something to do with your sight?”
“Yeah. Remember that one flight exercise we did where we had to see through our lions?”
“You mean the one where you and Keith raced to see who could hit that ground fastest?”
Lance scowled and flopped his hand around. “Okay, that was not the point, but if that’s the way you remember it, sure, that one.”
The older paladin laughed and patted Lance’s shoulder. “Meant nothing by it, but yes, I do remember.”
They turned a corner, Shiro gently guiding Lance along as they walked to wherever Shiro was going. From the way their steps echoed around them, they had to be close to the control room or the giant ballroom where they hosted the Arusians. Something told Lance it was the control room.
“Okay, so, how did you figure it you?” Lance asked, turning his head towards Shiro. “I’ve been trying to figure it out but it’s not working.”
He felt Shiro’s fingers tighten slightly. It was no secret to him that Shiro wasn’t exactly all for the idea of Lance still piloting the Blue Lion, but what choice did they have? Lance was still alive and Blue had roared oppressively when Shiro suggested that they find a new paladin. Blue was even averse to letting Allura pilot her, and that was saying something.
Shiro took a deep breath. “I trusted my lion to guide me.”
Lance’s jaw dropped. “That’s it?”
Through the hand on his shoulder, Lance felt Shiro shrug. “That’s it. We know the Blue Lion and you are both very trusting, it’s your natures. But I trust everything to my lion, she will get me out of situations in ways that I won’t think of.”
“But I do trust Blue!”
“I know you do, Lance. We all trust our lions, but it’s whether or not you trust her enough to see through her.”
Lance ducked his head and chewed on his lip more. Of course he trusted Blue, she was constant just like Hunk has been throughout his whole life. She comforted him when he couldn’t go to anyone else. She cared. She loved him. And he felt that same way towards her. He wouldn’t trade his lion for the world, not even being top of the class at the Garrison to lord it over Keith. He was proud to be the Blue Paladin of Voltron, he was proud to pilot the Blue Lion, and she was proud to have him. They worked, they clicked in ways that Lance never thought he would click with anyone or anything.
Shiro squeezed his shoulder. “Give it another shot, but Lance…”
He shrugged Shiro's hand off. Guess that hasn't changed. "I'm not giving up, Shiro. I’m going to pilot the Blue Lion.”
Lance spun on his heel and walked away from Voltron’s head, hand trailing along the wall to guide him. He was going to get this. Blue rumbled reassuringly in the back of his mind, guiding him to her. Looked like it was going to be another day spent in her hangar.
Hours passed and nothing. Absolutely nothing. Blue was there and not there at the same time and Lance hadn't felt this frustrated since struggling to become a fighter pilot – something he never really achieved but surpassed by becoming a paladin.
He thrust the controls away from him and pounded his fists on the armrests of his seat.
“Come on, Blue! Help me out here, what am I doing wrong?” he asked to the air. “Why can’t we get this!?”
His lion purred sympathetically, wrapping around him like a comfort blanket. He was so close to breaking down again. He’s missed the team training again, and lunch, and a meeting that Allura wanted to hold. Lance had ignored the call in favor of figuring out this damned ability with his lion. A fat lot of good that did.
He slumped in his seat and let out a rush of air. The inky black that surrounded him was oppressive, a constant reminder that he would amount to nothing. Not a fighter pilot, and now not even a paladin of Voltron. If he couldn’t figure this out, there was no point in keeping him here on the team. He couldn’t help Coran fix that ship, he couldn’t pilot the ship either since it was a job for Allura. He couldn’t fight. He couldn’t analyze data. He couldn’t even cook.
So what good was he?
Lance ran a hand down his face. The darkness crowded closer and if it was even possible, it felt thicker.
Yeah, he wasn’t worth much. Just a hindrance now.
Blue growled at him and pushed against his mind. She shoved images in his head: him making the team laugh, him consoling Hunk when things got too much, him helping Pidge as best as he can with her tech, him saving Coran, and finally, him shooting down all those Galra on the mission that cost him his sight. Each shot saving Keith and Pidge.
You are valuable she was trying to tell him.
Tears pricked his eyes and he stifled a small hiccup. “Thanks, Blue.”
She rumbled again, sounding so much like his mother scolding him for not believing in himself.
But once the feelings started, they were hard to stop. The darkness he was surrounded him felt wet, as much as Blue could tell him that he was needed and wanted as much as she wanted, he still couldn’t fight the feeling of being overlooked and shoved aside because he wasn’t useful.
Shiro’s words echoed in his head. Trust your lion.
He slid further down the chair, slouching heavily. “I don’t get it, Blue. I trust you, I trust you with my life and then some. I know you wouldn’t have chosen me if there wasn't something you saw in me. But I still don't get it."
He heard the hangar door swish open – the one leading outside, to the inky blackness filled with stars and planets and asteroids.
“Blue?” Panic shot through him and he grabbed at the controls. “Blue, you can’t – I can't! I can't see anymore, what if – what if we run into something!"
Blue growled, sounding like she was rolling her eyes and launched herself out of the castle.
“BLUE!” Lance screamed, pulling at the controls to pull her to a stop.
She kept going. His lion revved up her engines and the g-forces forced him into his seat. Lance grit his teeth and gripped the controls harder, pulling them back so much that he nearly touched the armrests of his chair.
What felt like light-years later, Blue finally stopped and Lance found his breath. He leaned forward over his knees and heaved air in and out of his lungs.
“Blue, where are we?”
His dashboard pinged and he knew coordinates were displayed. He groaned and sat up, tossing his head back. Since he was alone, he blinked his eyes open. His sight still revealed nothing, it wasn’t even a shade lighter with his eyes open.
Blue rumbled, telling him to lower his head and face forward. She was being extra bossy today, something she had to have picked up from Red over the last ten thousand years. Lance closed his eyes again, not like keeping them open was doing anything.
His lion growled, feeding him vague instructions just like the first time he flew her. Slow your breathing, open your mind, and trust me.
If he was being honest, he was ecstatic that he was out of the castle for once, and flying Blue again was his dream but the situation had him on edge. Never had Blue done something on her own before – not like how the black and green lions protecting Shiro and Pidge from that Robeast crash landing on Arus, and definitely not like Red launching herself after Keith every time he ejected himself into space.
No, Blue and Yellow never acted out like the other lions. Then again, their paladins rarely got into serious trouble without anyone else there to help them.
The Blue Lion roared at him sharply, almost bark, and it forced Lance to focus his mind back on what she told him to do. He took multiple deep breaths, calming himself. It felt just like when had those mind-melding exercises and he found himself slipping into his meditative state. Blue purred approvingly. She knew her paladin was capable, he just needed to be pushed in the right direction sometimes.
Slowly, the farther and farther Lance fell into meditation, his mind opened. He welcomed Blue into his mind. She curled around him and spun his mind around, aligning it with hers.
Open your eyes.
Lance opened his eyes.