Chapter Text
Neil tossed the black book onto Kevin’s desk, the leather-bound pad skidding across the wood and startling Kevin out of his trance. It was a habit of Kevin’s to watch full streams of various gigs at full volume, rendering him unaware of anything going on around him- it was something he insisted Neil did as well in order to familiarise himself with ‘stage presence’. Neil recognised the video he was watching as Queen at Live Aid, an ‘absolute classic that revolutionised music’ as he described it.
“What is this?” Kevin asked, taking off his headphones and looking at the book as if trying to put a curse on it.
“You asked us to write a song,” Neil replied, faking his nonchalance.
In truth, Neil had spent the week since Kevin had put out that particular request trying to find a loophole, though Andrew’s eyes constantly keeping watch on him made Neil nervous and jumpy. Neil had no choice but to write something with enough truth in it to get Andrew off his back, but vague enough that it wouldn’t alert Kevin to his actual identity.
Kevin’s eyes lit up in interest and he put his headphones on the desk so he could pick up the book. Neil had written and re-written the lyrics so many times that it took Kevin a bit to find the finished version, which in the end only consisted of two verses and a chorus.
“Not good, but not bad either,” Kevin said after he finished studying the lyrics and the small, exploratory notes that were doodled in the margins of the pages in order to find the tune, “it’s something I can work with.”
Kevin paused for a second and reviewed the lyrics again, a slight frown on his face, “the lyrics are cryptic and, quite frankly, a little depressing, but the melody can only be described as something… almost hopeful? Why the contrast?”
Neil frowned, “I wouldn’t call it hopeful, I don’t think that’s what hope sounds like.” If Neil had to chose, hope would sound more quiet, more promising.
“What would you call it then?”
“Something like anticipation.”
Kevin hummed and started setting up programs on his computer. “I’ll need you later for a demo, but for now I’ll work on the sheet music to get a more constructed piece. I don’t care what you do until then, but come when I call you.”
Neil rolled his eyes in what Kevin took as an agreement, and left Kevin to his own devices. Technically, not counting Kevin, Neil had the whole house to himself for the moment- Nicky was at his waiting job, and Andrew and Aaron had disappeared together a few hours ago without a word, which was strange to Neil as he hadn’t really seen the twins spend upwards of ten minutes together since he arrived.
Neil settled on watching a movie, and was halfway through Mad Max before the front door slammed open, yielding to the five-foot force that was a pissed off Aaron Minyard. Andrew followed behind him, strolling at a leisurely pace with his hands in his pockets, face void of any emotion but his eyes tracking the movements of his brother.
Aaron made to go upstairs, but quick as a whip Andrew’s hand shot out and grasped Aaron’s wrist. Aaron turned back towards Andrew with a furious expression, but Andrew only said, “basement,” before pivoting on his heel and walking towards the basement door. Aaron clenched and unclenched his fists a few times before cursing and following Andrew. Neil didn’t think as he turned the TV off and shadowed them downstairs.
Sometimes, often during the night, Neil would hear sounds of quiet bass float up from the basement, at times furious and at others achingly slow. It seemed that Aaron had the same thought in his mind as he walked straight over to his drumset. Neil spared a glance at Kevin, but he was in his own world; his headphones blocking out everything around him.
“Close the curtains,” Andrew said, gesturing to the curtains that closed to separate Kevin’s room from the band’s room as he moved to get his bass. Neil went to close them, startled that Andrew didn’t immediately tell him to leave, and then sat down on the couch, admittedly curious as to what the twins would do.
Aaron was starting to furiously roll out a few premature drum solos while Andrew set up, the beats fractured and raw. Andrew turned around and watched for a moment before speaking.
“Use me, the Sam Dew cover.”
Aaron stopped his drumming briefly to give a short nod, then started tapping on one of his cymbals- not gently, but also not as feverishly as before. Andrew soon joined in with his bass, the notes at first seeming random and misplaced before melding into a recognisable beat. Neil felt a tension fill the room; the calm before the storm, a break in the clouds before everything turned to chaos. And then Andrew stepped forward into the microphone, and started to sing.
My friends feel it's their appointed duty,
To tell me, all you want to do is use me
My answer to all that use me stuff
Is I want to spread the news that if it feels this good getting used
Just keep on using me ‘till you use me up
Andrew’s voice was soft and smoky, a little lower and raspier than Neil’s. When he heard it something in Neil started and settled, and Neil wondered why Andrew wasn’t the lead singer of Collateral Damage when he sounded like this.
My brother sat me right down and he talked to me
He told me I ought not let you just walk on me
He meant well but when our talk was through
I said brother if you only knew that it didn't concern you
Just keep on using me until you use me up
Aaron lifted his lip in a snarl when Andrew finished the verse, and then started beating his drums as if his life depended on it, Andrew keeping up with his bass beat for beat. It was almost like a battle, neither one willing to give up ground but also acting in tandem with each other.
It ended on a crescendo, Aaron suddenly stopping altogether, and Andrew singing the last notes on an almost breathy exhale. They both breathed heavily for a moment, perspiration beading Aaron’s forehead, before Aaron stood, put away his drumsticks, and left the room. Neil noticed that his gait was much calmer than previous, as if all his anger and frustration bled out of him during the performance. Andrew watched him go and absent-mindedly plucked at the strings of his bass.
“Why don't you sing for the band?” Neil vocalised, and Andrew turned to him with a blank stare.
“I don't do anything I don't want to do,” Andrew replied, and Neil accepted it as the only answer he was going to get, as much of a non-answer it was. Andrew’s fingers stilled, and Neil turned around to see Kevin slide the curtains apart and step into the room, laptop in hand and headphones around his neck.
“I’ve finished the sheet music,” Kevin said, directly addressing Neil as if no time had passed from their previous conversation, “I’ll need you to play now so I can get a demo.”
“Demo?” Andrew asked, although it wasn’t really phrased as a question.
“I finished writing, as per your suggestion,” Neil replied, sending a vaguely appraising look from Andrew his way.
“A piece of unexpected honesty.”
“How could I not with you breathing down my neck all the time?”
Andrew snorted and Kevin continued as if they hadn’t spoken, “The sheet music is mainly for the guitar, you can do whatever you had in mind with the vocals as long as it fits.”
Neil was relieved he got to play his guitar; he hadn’t played it since he got here and his fingers were itching for the string’s metallic scrape. He moved to retrieve his guitar and stand behind the mic that Andrew had just vacated in favor of the couch. Neil skimmed over the sheet music and made sure his guitar was in tune before signalling he was ready.
“Go on then Boy Wonder, show us what you’ve got,” Andrew quipped, and so Neil did.
And it started to rain, but I kept my cool
I feel a fool
She's just hurt and in vain
She's between the two
I put up a fight, it's a light hit
I turned my good side in
The main danger of the song was that even though Neil had kept it vague as possible, he didn’t pull his punches on the truths he did divulge. Neil did things on the run that he had to do to survive, and more than one person’s blood was on his hands. If Andrew presumes that this part of him was dangerous to his family, Neil knew that he was done for.
As she started to change, I remained the same
I played the game
Not too much, just a stain
I don't mind the wait
I put up a fight, it's a light hit
I turned my good side in
And as we stayed up, I could feel it
The route, in the road, as the race begins
He repeated the last chorus twice, the addition alluding to Neil’s time in the run- and giving a nudge to the fact he wasn’t doing it of his own free will. In a way, he was racing against time, trying to beat his father and his father’s men. As the last notes vanished, Neil looked up and locked eyes with Andrew, who stared right back at him, his gaze piercing. Kevin seemed unaware or immune to the tension hanging thick in the air, as he continued as normal, clicking a few things on his computer and muttering to himself.
“That’ll do for now,” he said, “I’m going to fuck around with this but I’ll probably retake a couple times more so be around,” he said to Neil, before disappearing back behind the curtains and into his room. Neil calmly set his guitar down as Andrew stood up, and when he walked out of the room Neil knew that he was expected to follow. Andrew made a beeline for his room, going straight for the carton of cigarettes thrown haphazardly on his desk. He shook one out and lit it, taking a drag before letting the smoke run out of his mouth as he spoke.
“Are you going to explain it?” Andrew asked, drumming his fingers against the wood.
“You asked for truth,” Neil replied, “and I gave it to you. Now you have to keep up your end of the bargain and leave me alone.”
“You didn't give me an answer.”
“This isn't multiple choice.”
“And yet you’re a puzzle I still have to solve.”
“Why can’t you just mind your own business?”
“Neil,” Andrew said, pointing the tip of his cigarette at him, “as soon as Kevin became interested in you, you became my business.”
Andrew looked thoughtful for a moment, and the drumming stopped.
“How about we play a game? Truth for a truth. I’ll write a song, and you tell me what your one means. Deal?”
Neil thought for a moment, considering his options. If he went along with Andrew’s game it would mean that he and Neil would be on almost even footing, as long as Neil played his cards right. It was probably the best option he had.
“Deal,” Neil replied, and the corner of Andrew’s mouth twitched up.
“I’m glad we could come to an agreement.”