Chapter Text
Secret Spy Club
6:12 PM
vodyanitsa: mitya!!! ( ◠‿◠ )
vodyanitsa: alyosha will meet you up front and bring you backstage!!!
mitya: and what if i wanted to roleplay as y/n and get escorted back AFTER the performance cause i spent the whole time reading my book so i would look cool and different
odette: what if i killed you
mitya: :(
mitya: odette hates me
alyosha: WHERE are you mitya i don’t see u
mitya: i see u dw!
odette: see you in a minute mitya!
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Secret Spy Club
6:48 PM
vodyanitsa: ALYOSHA where did you go （╹◡╹）
odette: he said he had to get something from his car and he’d be right back
vodyanitsa: ok he better not miss this performance
vodyanitsa: i’m trying to seduce him
vodyanitsa: I MEAN
vodyanitsa: impress him
vodyanitsa: yes!
odette: real
mitya: i, too, am trying to impress our dear friend
mitya: but seriously where tf did he GO
alyosha: oh sorry
alyosha: got pulled away by some work
alyosha: i won’t make it back there before the performance
vodyanitsa: BRUH
odette: no it’s ok
odette: we’ll see you afterwards lyosha!
alyosha: can’t wait :)
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Group Message mitya—> odette, vodyanitsa
mitya named the group beautiful women who i love
6:54 PM
mitya: that is NAWT alyosha
vodyanitsa: ??? what are you on about NOW
mitya: smiley faces?? expressing emotion???
mitya: that is NAWT my alyosha
odette: i feel like you’re overreacting
mitya: i’m telling you
mitya: he’s being impersonated
mitya: don’t be shocked when he drops the act and starts killing everyone
odette: what is he on about
vodyanitsa: who tf knows anymore
mitya: :(
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Direct Message alyosha—>mitya
7:03 PM
alyosha: bitch
mitya: HELLO????
alyosha: i KNOW u suspect me
alyosha: and i just want you to know
alyosha: i WILL kill you
mitya: BRO
mitya: i’m showing odette and vodya this so they actually believe me
alyosha: i’d like to see you TRY
mitya: WHY TF CANT I SCREENSHOT??????
alyosha: i have my ways
mitya: genuinely WHOOO tf are you
alyosha: you don’t need to know that
mitya: WHY CANT I LEAVE THE CHAT WTF DID U DO
mitya: yo is valeriy DEAD???
alyosha: just temporarily
mitya: TF DOES THAT MEAN???
aether joined the chat!
aether: ronova.
alyosha: bruh U DO NOT SCARE MEEEE go away
aether: GET UR ASS BACK HERE AND GET OFF ALYOSHAS PHONE
alyosha: don’t wanna
mitya: and how did YOU GET IN HERE??? WHATS HAPPENING
aether: dw about it
mitya: ????
alyosha: nah fr tho this boy is entertaining
alyosha: he cannot get a hint can he??
mitya: we know
aether: i know
mitya: HUH??
aether: hey if i weren’t in a happy and loving relationship i’d have gone for it
aether: but bro is clearly smitten w you guys anyway LOL
alyosha: yeah it’s lowkey sad as hell
alyosha: someone needs to beat him over the head or something
mitya: NO????
aether: RONOVA U ARE NOT OFF THE HOOK GET BACK HERE
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Secret Spy Club
7:08 PM
alyosha: you guys need to get ur shit together
vodyanitsa: hello??!
odette: i’m performing in less than half an hour i can’t deal w this rn
mitya: THATS NOT ALYOSHA
mitya: it’s some lady named ronova who took his phone
alyosha: it’s not my fault this phone had no password and was left on the ground where anyone could grab it
vodyanitsa: tf did u do w alyosha????
alyosha: i don’t know who that is
alyosha: i just have his phone and his sad flirting history
odette: at least she’s right on that front
vodyanitsa: yeah i can’t even argue with that part
mitya: where the FUCK is alyosha???
alyosha: idk
aether joined the chat!
aether: RONOVA.
mitya: HOW DO YOU KEEP DOING THAT????????
aether: dw about it i’ll leave your polycule alone once i GET HER ASS
odette: i’m shutting my phone off
odette: … why can’t i shut my phone off
mitya: IDK THEY KEEP FUCKING W SHIT
odette: well.
odette: i’ll let you guys deal with that
vodyanitsa: damn
mitya: you know i can at least appreciate her dedication to her art
alyosha: tf is happening
alyosha: thank you aether for finding my phone i was losing my mind looking for it
aether: no problem! 😁
alyosha: wait when did u get here
aether: dw about it
alyosha: why are there a bunch of deleted chats?????
mitya: yeahhh dw about it hahahahaha
aether: well this has been fun. i will see you all the next time we have to fight this lady
mitya: the next time??
alyosha: what lady??
vodyanitsa: oh uh yeah good seeing you aether! thank you for coming!
aether: 😁
aether left the chat!
alyosha: what the hell is happening
mitya: i don’t even know man
alyosha: … what did you mean by seduce me???
vodyanitsa: HAHA DW ABOUT IT ʕʘ‿ʘʔ