Chapter Text
"With great power comes greater responsibility."
"He will be the best of us one day"
"He is a hero; a hero for queens, for New York City. He is the hero of the people. "
Peter sat, alone. Rain drenched clothes weighing heavy on his skin, droplets of murky rainwater blending in with the tears that drip from his hazel eyes.
His head reels, Overcrowded with thoughts about the burdens he forces himself to carry.
Of people's opinions of him; Loved ones, friends, and people on the street who don't know his name, his story, or his face, but still choose to call him their hero.
His head bows low until his chin meets his chest. Leaning back onto the brick wall.
He is Spider-man; He is a hero, a vigilante, a saviour.
People turn towards him in times of desperate need; men, woman, children, the adverge NYC civilians, hell- sometimes even other heros and vigilantes, and even some villians!
Because when people see Spider-man, they know they will get helped. Because Spider-man does what is good, Spider-man does what is needed; he helps because its the right thing to do.
Spider-man carries power, and he carries responsibility. Because it is just what he does (what he always does)
But, even after years of being the hero; since the young age of 13. Even after enduring, and enduring, and continuously powering through, Peter still doubts.
He doubts so much.
Because no matter how good he is, no matter how many lives saved. There is still so much bad.
And no matter where he is; school, work, in the lab, or chilling with his team-mates ( his family), he can still hear them, the screams, wails, cries, and the desperate calls of his hero persona.
It never stops, never quiets down. Because people are always getting hurt, and Spider-man cannot save everyone. (Even if that is all he ever truly wishes for)
He has confided before, in a vigilante with powers such as himself and asked him how he copes. (Copes with the screams of the innocent and the guilty, the angered yelling, the cars that fail to screech to a stop-)
The man- Matt, could only look at Peter, sigh, and pull him in close and whisper in a tone deep with sorrow and guilt, that its best to try and ignore it. To try and continue on living on how a normal person would. Because there is truly nothing to completely solve the issue.
"Just try and ignore it, Pete, i understand its hard, believe me i know, but it is really all we can do- all you can do. "
But how can Peter ignore someone, anyone? When during the middle of the night he hears a woman getting violently raped. Screaming out his name, begging for Spider-man to come help.
When he is peeling off the mask, yet is hearing the wailing of a father who lives on the other side of the city, finding his son dead by bottled pills and a sharpened blade.
When all day, everyday, he can hear his beautiful city lose more souls to grief and depression, to hatefulness, greed, anger and sadness.
And he can't do enough to save it, his stuiped city.
And it hurts him, hurts the young hero everytime he arrives too late to a scene; being forced to witness the brutal aftermath of a robbery, of a rape, of a murder, overdose, or suicide.
It hurts so much more then he will ever let on. And it hurts so much that he has no place else to store it but his own body.
Thin slices and cuts, wounds that get picked open; bullet wounds, stab wounds, even burns. Because Peter needs the physical pain to distact himself from the agnoy of his mental pain.
He curls more into himself, his fingers tightening their grip on his arms, so tight that his uneven nails cut into his skin, small dots of blood smearing underneath his shaky fingers.
The world, as loud as ever, fades into the background. Drowned out by the static of Peters own mind.
Peters only focus is his heartbeat, thumping against his chest with a vigor to escape.
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His head lifts at the sound of his phone vibrating in his pocket.
He fishes it out and stares at the screen with a blank look on his face.
**- Iorn Pan -** is calling.
He lets it ring.
He sets down the phone.
Curls into himself even more, and try's to forget about the world for a bit.
For the first time since he was 13 and held his dying uncle in his arms; naive yet determined by grief. Does Spider-man truly and fully shed his hero persona, for once ignoring the calls of his city. And he lets himself sit.
Not as a hero.
Not being the hero that he knows the city needs.
No.
He is simply being Peter Parker, he is simply being a 17 yearold. And maybe just this once, while hidden in the shadows of some shady alleyway; all alone, in the dark. Will that be enough.
Just enough, enough for now.
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Tony Stark is worried.
He hates being worried, hates being desperate and scared.
He hates when he isnt the only one who is drowning in worry and fear.
Because today, instead of it being filled with the normal laughter and smiles of a Thursday evening, instead is filled with fear, anxiety and distressing uncertainty because Peter is missing.
Peter Parker is missing.
The spider kid who he found 3 years ago in an act of desperation while his family was on the brink of falling apart.
Peter, the boy who willingly followed Tony all the way to Germany. Ready to join a fight that he, frankly, shouldn't of even been apart of.
Peter who paused the fight before it even began, who looked at Tony, looked at all the heros, and looked at the two separate sides brewing with solid arguments and reasoning and simply asked; "whats the point?"
Who had the balls to not only question Iornman himself, but also Captain America, the former winter soldier, a king, a witch, a robot, 2 spys, a ant, a Falcon, and the war machine.
Peter Parker was the reason light still shined in Tonys life.
He is the reason the Avengers never fell apart, because who knows what could've happened if they did.
And because of him, Tonys family stayed strong. Stayed smiling.
Because who else then Peter Parker could make Bucky laugh, a deep and rich sound that had Steve tearing up a bit. who other then the skinny teenager to joked and tease with Clint, Sam and Scott with ease.
He practice ballet with Natasha, keeping up with her grace. He helped Steve catch up on movies; from Disney, to DC, to Peter's personal favourite, Star-Wars.
He was the kid that sassed out Rhodey in such a similar manner to how collage aged Tony Stark would, that it had both Rhodey and Happy groaning in denial (while hiding a proud smile.)
He learned how to cook with Vison and Wanda, especially Slovakian cultural dishes. (The first time they successfully made one, Wanda started to tear up in happiness.)
He showed curiosity towards the history and culture of Wakanda, spending hours listening to stories told by the king himself, T'challa. Even if those talks happened over facetime (He is still a king after all)
All in all he brought back laughter and love.
He came a consistent variable; a constant sound of love and laughter within Tonys life.
So when it hit 5pm, 2 hours after Peters school finished and he still wasn't at the tower yet, Tony starts to worry.
When it hit 6pm and Tony rounded the corner into the kitchen, hoping to find his kid sitting there doing homework, or talking with someone. He was praying to find an excuse as to why Peter wasn't in the lab with him.
But he didn't.
The kitchen was empty of Peter, and so was every other room in the tower.
At 6.32pm Tony picked up the phone and started to make some calls.
(He called May Parker. She didn't pick up, weird)
The Daredevil- "The kid isn't patrolling, or training with me. He said he was going to the tower tonight. Did something happen?"
The Merc with a mouth, Deadpool- "Nope! Intsy bitsy spider isn't with me, why you asking Mr. I-am-iornman?"
Even (reluctantly so) the Punisher- "Why the fuck are you askin' me? Webs said he's with you all night"
Nobody had heard from him.
No one had heard from Peter in hours.
The 17 year-old hero, is no where to be found.
It took no words for everyone present to suit up.
And soon enough; Iornman was in the sky, trying to track down the suit that Peter was supposed to be wearing.
Vigilantes were searching too.
As were the other heros of the city. Avengers and not.
Because they were going to find Peter, they swore by it.
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"Come on kid, pick up, Peter, please"
He didn't pick up.