Chapter Text
Sonic held his head in his hands as he stared out the car window. He technically didn’t need a ride or even someone to take him because he knew exactly where the testing lab was. It was a pretty large RV parked around twenty minutes from town. Where there would be no distractions. But it was nice having some moral support even if Tom stayed in his car while Sonic went in to get whatever ‘test’ they had for him done.
“How many more times do I have to do these dumb tests? It’s not like anything's gonna change from last week.” Sonic looked over to Tom. Who didn’t even have the courtesy to look over to him when he answered. Which… technically he was driving and should probably practice safe techniques like keeping his eyes on the road.
“I don’t know bud but I’m sure it won’t be too long.” Sonic let out an audible sigh. He knows it’s unrealistic but he wants Tom to kick in that door and make that evil woman and the stupid government leave him alone.
“Maybe… Can’t you just like… I don’t know. Shoot them?” That did get Tom to look over at him with slightly furrowed brows . Sonic can kinda understand because he’s pretty sure that shooting people is illegal but Tom has broken the law before. The human might think that his passenger hedgehog (best) friend hasn’t noticed but Sonic definitely noticed the way Tom completely ignores the speed limit.
“I can’t just… shoot people, alright? Ignoring all the ethical and well, everything else. It would probably end up with both of us getting blown up by a drone. Which goes without saying, would not be good.” Sonic supposes that that makes sense. He certainly doesn’t want to get blown up.
“Well… What if you shoot her but like in the knees or something?” Tom looked back over but with wide eyes.
“Jeez kid. Were you always this violent?” Sonic’s ear twitched and he rolled his eyes. ‘Violent’ was when he had to get a quill plucked from his head or when they stabbed him with a needle to steal his blood. Not shooting a person… Okay, maybe Donut Lord did have a point.
“Whatever, it was just a joke anyways.” Sonic looked back out the window. If his internal clock was correct, which it was. In just a couple minutes they would reach their destination. He turned back towards Tom with a questioning face, “Do you think that if you told Maddie she was fat, she would get annoyed?” Tom made a sound like he was choking which was strange because he wasn’t even drinking or eating anything. But he definitely needs the human to stop choking so he can answer him. Because he needs to know how upset Robotnik will be if he calls her fat. Sonic didn’t personally think that she was fat but he needs to up his taunting since the women didn’t even seem affected when he insulted her last week.
“What’s with these questions?! But if I told Maddie she was fat you would probably never see me again.” Sonic moved his lips to one side as he thought.
“Why?”
“Cause she would probably kill me- What made you ask that?” Sonic sighed. He did not want to be killed.
“You might not know this but I don't really have a lot of experience with girls.” Tom looked over to him then back to the road. Which was empty for miles and miles.
“Yeah… I kinda picked that up,” Tom’s fingers drummed against the steering wheel, “One thing’s for sure though, definitely don’t call her fat or skinny or old or you know what? Just call her beautiful, don't worry about the specifics,” Sonic’s nose scrunched up. Yuck. He definitely did not think that Director Robotnik was beautiful. He doesn’t even know why Tom would say such a thing. “So… who’s the-uh- who’s the lucky girl?” Sonic raised a brow as he looked up at Tom. More like unlucky girl as Robotnik will face his wrath… Well, insults.
“It’s Director Robotnik.” As soon as the words left his mouth, Sonic had to hold on for dear life as Tom’s driving skills took a dramatic fall off a cliff he they swerved into the other lane before the human got control of the vehicle. Sonic’s heart thumped in his chest as adrenaline flooded him. Which was odd. Even if they did crash, Sonic was sure he would be perfectly fine so he doesn’t know why his body reacted like that. “Why did you do that?!” He sounded a little accusatory like Tom just swerved into the other lane for fun but it really was just out of nowhere.
“There was a raccoon in the road I didn't hi- I’m sorry. Did you say Robotnik? As in Maria Robotnik? As in the lady you’re going to go see now?” Sonic looked up at Tom with a raised brow.
“Maria? I didn’t know you two were on first name basis.” Tom took a deep breath which had Sonic raise a brow.
“Isn’t she… a little old for you? And by a little I mean alot. I mean… I was your age too once so I get it. Older women can be quite alluring but for me it was Johnny’s mom not her grandma.” Sonic perhaps looked a little scared.
“What are you even talking about? I don’t even know Johnny, let alone his mom.”
“No that’s not-” Tom brought a hand to his forehead and rubbed it, “That’s not the point. Listen I- You’ll have to give me a little grace, okay? I never thought a day like this would come and I would have to give a talk like this.” But they talk everyday now? Sonic has no clue as to what Donut Lord is going on about. First he was talking about older women and Johnny’s mom which has nothing to do with if Robotnik will get upset if he calls her fat. It just didn’t make any sense for his young hedgehog mind. But before he could get some answers they arrived to their destination.
“We’re here. You can just park and I’ll go take care of business.” Once the car came to a stop, Sonic looked over to Tom who was grimacing for some reason and winked up at the human, “Robotnik won’t even know what hit her.” Sonic opened the door and hopped out.
“Wait don’t…” Sonic’s ear flickered as he turned back to look at Tom. Who had like an arm halfway extended reaching for him. And he looked like he was going through a world war of emotions on his face.
“What?” Sonic’s face tilted slightly to the side as he waited for whatever Tom wanted to say.
“Don’t… you know? Don’t do anything rash and uh- oh God. I’m not prepared for this in the least.” Prepared for what? Tom was making no sense at all. Sonic put his hand on his hip as he waited for Tom to stop having a mental breakdown. After like three seconds had passed, Sonic checked his imaginary watch and decided it was time to go.
“Yeah okay. I’m just gonna go now.” He made two finger guns towards the rv and when Donut Lord just brought his outreached hand to his forehead. Sonic walked, not ran, to the rv. Because it just felt weird to him to run away from Tom when the human was clearly not in the right state of mind. Not that Sonic himself is in the right state of mind but at least he has the excuse of a traumatic childhood.
Sonic stopped at the door and straightened up while he took a deep breath to try to sooth the butterflies in his stomach. He didn’t really know why he was nervous. He’s done this a couple of times already and it’s not like anything truly terrible happened. (Though someone might not think that by how he complains about it). He’ll just go in, call robotnik fat… among other things and leave. He breathed out and gave a small nod to a squirrel who was climbing a tree about thirty feet away. It wasn’t the best emotional support but it would have to do as Tom did not bring his A-game today. Sonic raised his blue furry arm and was about to knock on the doors, when they opened on their own with a slight hiss.
That was odd. How did Director Robotnik know that he was there and about to knock? Sonic’s eyes narrowed and he swung his arm in the open space like he was knocking away spider webs. When an explosion didn’t happen Sonic shrugged and stepped in the rv. And despite how much it pained him to admit it. The government could make a pretty good ac. It was like he stepped from an oven into a refrigerator.
Sonic looked around. He really didn’t understand a lot of what he saw as it was just a bunch of nerdy stuff that he was too cool to care about. But he did recognise some test tubes and tvs and some of the fancy science glass bottles. Though his wandering eyes stopped when he spotted her. Director Robotnik. She was currently sitting in front of her desk playing on her computer. And Sonic didn’t like her, but she could have at least said hello or something. In fact… Sonic crossed his arms and turned his nose up. He’s not going to move or even acknowledge her till she does it first. He knows how these evil scientists work and he’s not going to let her best him. Sonic
When the clicking and clacking of the key board didn’t stop. Sonic peeked over to the women. Who was still looking at her computer. His little tail might have swooshed in agitation as he looked back away. She thought she could out patience him? She was in for a rude awakening. Sonic the Hedgehog will not be the first to make contact. Even though after a couple of seconds he shifted his feet. After a couple more he crossed his arms and after a couple more seconds, he uncrossed them. That’s it. She thought she could ignore him and act like what she’s doing isn’t evil? Well, Sonic was ready to show her just what he thought about it.
Sonic marched over there in giant (small for humans) strides and held up his right pointer finger. He opened his mouth and just when he was ready to lay into her…
“Go ahead and take a seat. You should already know the routine,” Sonic put his hand down. On one hand, the sooner he gets this done the sooner he can leave and play his games and uh- other things. But on the other hand, he didn’t want to give Robotnik an easy win.
“Yeah? Well… I am gonna sit down but not because you told me too but because I want to. And you’re fat.” Sonic didn’t have a mirror so he couldn’t see just how proud of himself he looked. Though when Robotnik didn’t even look up nor did her typing speed change, Sonic frowned. Tom basically said that Maddie would be upset if he called her fat so why didn’t Robotnik care? Unless… She does care but is hiding it. A little smirk overtook Sonic’s lips as he thought about it. She must be so mad and probably sad that he called her fat but is pretending to not care. Which he definitely has no experience pretending that something doesn’t bother him…
Sonic sighed as he turned away from her to climb up onto the examination table. Which was a little embarrassing because he had to use a little step ladder to get up but it's not his fault as he’s only three feet tall. Once he was seated, his feet kicked back and forth as he looked at Robotnik. Who was a direct lie to all the nice little grey haired grandmas he’s seen in movies and tv. Grey hair and the fact that she was old was the only thing that Robotnik and those grandmas had in common. “Can you stop playing your game so we can get this show on the road? Cause I’m a very busy hedgehog and I have places to be.”
“I’m not playing a game but you’re right.” Of course he was right. That was as sure as the sun rising in the morning. Robotnik rolled the chair back and stood up. “So Sonic, how has your week been so far?” Sonic considered staying silent but he really just enjoys conversation too much. Even if it's with his warden.
“Hmphf. Like you care. You’re probably just asking so you can use it against me! You probably don’t even remember what I said last week when you asked me the same thing.” Robotnik fiddled around with a needle. Sonic had no doubt that she was going to stab him with it and steal his blood.She never looked up from prepping it as she spoke.
“I know that you think I’m your enemy, I’m not. But even if I were, I would not be able to use the fact that you tamed a creature in your game or the fact that you skipped breakfast last Tuesday against you,” Sonic just shrugged, she could have… Like she could use the fact that he didn’t eat breakfast last Tuesday to destroy him. It’s not impossible. “But if you don’t want to talk about your week that’s fine. I’m not going to make you.” Sonic’s ear twitched. He did want to talk about his week but not with her. Although, there was one thing he needed to clear up before he did anything else.
“You can’t make me do anything. I’m only here because it’ll cause Donut Lord and Pretzel Lady less problems, okay? So don’t go thinking that I’ll just do what you want, unless you want to end up like your brother.” That was a good one. Surely that would have to get some response out of her. Sonic looked up with a cheeky smile that slowly faded away when Director Robotnik didn’t even come close to reacting.
“He’s my cousin, not my brother,” Sonic just rolled his eyes. Whatever, it was basically the same thing. “And I have no doubt that he’ll be back soon.” Sonic frowned before he shook his head. There was no way he would be back ever. The psycho doctor was stranded on the mushroom planet without any rings.
“Yeah… No. I’m not sorry for your loss because he tried to blow me up but there’s no way he’s getting back. So go ahead and cross your family reunion off your calendar.” His hands met the table behind him as he leaned back. Though, he only got to stay like that for a couple of seconds before Robotnik walked over with her stupid and big needle. Which was thicker and larger than other needles as the very first time she tried to steal his blood; the needle tip snapped before it broke his skin. Which left Sonic with a small sense of pride before he saw the needle that she brought out next. She stopped next to him and Sonic pretended not to see her and kept his arms still on the table.
“Your arm.” Sonic’s azure quills bristles a little at the tone. His prideful and logical part of his brain clashed. The sooner he gets this done the sooner he can leave and do… things. Much funner things than being here. But he didn’t feel like complying. He wanted to make this as hard as possible for Robotnik.
Sonic looked up at her, “Yeah, it’s blue. Do you have a problem with it?” Her facial expression didn’t change. If Sonic didn’t know any better than he would say she’s not really getting affected by his words. Which is preposterous. Just because she’s pretending not to get mad doesn’t mean she isn’t getting mad.
“The only person who you are wasting time of is yourself. I have to be here all day anyways so the sooner you cooperate the sooner you can leave.”
“Yeah? Well-well,” Sonic’s feet kicked back and forth before he thought of the perfect, albeit, reused comeback, “At least I’m not fat!” Director Robotnik did not look impressed… or upset at all. Sonic blames Tom. He was sure by how Donut went on and on about how not to call a woman fat and that Pretzel Lady would kill him if he did. It would surely make Robotnik lose her cool; it didn’t.
“If you’re done throwing juvenile insults around. I would like to go ahead and begin.” It was the path of least resistance. A path that Sonic took the past couple of weeks but today? He felt like making a new path.
“And what would you do if I -mhmm- lets say… Don’t just blindly cooperate with you and instead I leave?.” Sonic raised a challenging brow. To which Robotnik responded with a small frown and silence… for a second… two second-
“I think that would be a mistake. I know you don’t believe me but I am your biggest friend right now.” Sonic’s face fell for just a split second at possibly the most bold lie he’s ever been told in his short time actually interacting with humans. The audicty… it actually made him not be able to immediately respond.
“You’re absolutely right…” Sonic shot her with finger guns and winked up at her, “I don’t believe you. But hey, A for effort. I’m sure maybe one day you’ll get me to fall for your lies.” Director Robotnik looked down at him for a second before she put the needle down and moved next to him. Sonic’s heart beat picked up for just a moment as he didn’t know if he was about to be attacked but the human women just sat down next to him. Right next to him… Like what ever happened to personal space? Sonic’s brows furrowed slightly and he looked up at her before he looked away and scooted away from her.
“Do you know why you are here?” Sonic’s ears tilted towards her as he thought about that question. It was a very dumb question. Unless it was a trick question? But what would be the trick? Why was he here? Uhh… Because he had to.
“I don’t know… maybe it's because you can do all your evil experiments on me?”
“That’s not what I meant. Why are you here?” Sonic turned his head to look at her. Now she was just being creepy. He literally just answers her rather poor question. Unless she was doing that thing where she asked a question but didn’t want an answer? But for what reason?
“Lady, listen here-”
“Why do you think that you’re not locked up in some black site where you’ll probably never see the sun again. Where the people there don’t care about your feelings or privacy or autonomy where they will break you in all ways and fashions to get answers that you may not even have. Where once they’re done they’ll just… kill you.” That was certainly not where he expected the conversation to go. And Sonic certainly did not like it in the least.
“Uhm… Probably because it wouldn’t go well for whoever tries to do that.”
“Not exactly. To be honest with you. That was the original plan that the other generals wanted. Because they saw you as an uncontrolled threat that at any given moment could cause unimaginable chaos.” Sonic definitely didn’t like the sound of that. Sure, he might have accidentally caused a ‘minor’ blackout but other than that he’s been on Earth without problem for a long time. To hear that the government wanted to capture and probably torture him did not make him feel good. Though it did make him feel defensive, as his ears began to fold down and his quills began to bristle. Sonic was ready to give her a piece of his mind when her next words made him a little confused, “However, I managed to convince Commander Walters to put all that on hold and let me take control of this operation. Contingent on the fact that I get results.” Sonic looked away from her stare. He thinks he understands what she means.
“Wow, I didn’t know…Thanks,” Sonic’s voice was low as he looked down. Until he looked up with a raised brow and looked right at Director Robotnik's blue eyes. This time, he spoke much louder, “Thank you for not torturing me. You know, it really means a lot to me- Are you being serious right now!?” Sonic exclaimed with wide eyes. He really didn’t take too kindly to what was just said to him, “Am I supposed to be grateful? Is that what you want? You want me to lay over like some dog for you because you did what any normal human would have done?” Somewhere during his lecture, Sonic found himself standing up on the metal table. Though much to his dismay, even standing while Robotnik was sitting, he was still only about eye level with her. “You must be crazier than your brother if you think that telling me that meant I was going to like you.” Sonic had to stop the animal part of him that just wanted to bite her stupid dumb face.
“Ivo’s not my- I didn’t tell you that to get you to ‘like’ me and it wasn’t my intention to make you think so. I told you so that maybe you’ll wise up and realize that this is the best scenario for you. You don’t have to like me-”
“I don’t like you.” Sonic put his hands on his hips as he interrupted her. ‘Wise up’, he’ll show her wising up.
“Which is fine. You don’t have to like me. Just… All you have to do is continue to cooperate. Because despite your apparent distaste for me, I do want what’s best for you.” Sonic crossed his arms and looked away. He didn’t really know what to do. He didn’t even know if Robotnik was telling the truth. Although, in his experience (tv), the government does always try to capture the aliens and mutants and monsters and other creepy things. Not that he’s creepy. But he definitely falls under the alien category. So the fact that they haven’t did make it seem like Robotnik was being truthful. He peeked at her before looking straight ahead again.
“Whatever. Go do your stupid test but just know that it won’t stop you from being fat.” Third time's the charm, right? But when Robotnik didn’t even seem the least bit affected as she stood up. Sonic knew he had to rethink his attack strategy. Sonic was still on his feet as Robotnik stood up and he was finally ‘taller’ than her. Which he did not let go to waste. “How’s the air down there?” He put his hands on his hips and let out an obnoxious fake laugh. He really is quite the comedian. Sonic sighed before he dropped back down to a seated position and held his arm out. Robotnik ignored him, or, the more likely scenario is that she just didn’t have a comeback. Sonic started waving his blue furry arm around after a couple of seconds. “Hellooo? Are you gonna do this or not?”
“Just– Give me a second, okay?” Sonic perked up a little at the voice. Not the voice itself but the tone… It was almost like… she was getting upset.
“Yeesh. A simple ‘okay’ would suffice. No need to get so angry.” Sonic went on autopilot after that. He just wanted to get this done so he just went through the motions. He did wince when he was finally stabbed with the needle and it did make him feel a little nauseous in his stomach seeing his blood feel the needle. He also winced when she plucked a quill out. And he was sure that she tried to make it as painful as possible though he really didn’t have much evidence. She put those to the side and hooked wires up to him and made him run, jump, and general movements. Sonic grumbled and complained like usual. And before he knew it, it was over. Honestly, it wasn’t even that bad but Sonic had a character to play.
“Finnaly. You really know how to make sure a hedgehog has a terrible time. But hey, I’ll give you one star,” Sonic walked towards the door and just before he walked out, he turned towards her and shot some more finger guns at her, “Out of twenty. Because out of five would just be too generous for you.” Sonic couldn’t even manage a fake smile as he turned and walked out into the great unknown. Just to take a couple more steps and get into the very known of Tom’s car.
Donut Lord just kinda looked at him for a couple of seconds kinda like he was afraid? Which didn’t make any sense at all but it’s fine. He’ll give the human a reason to be afraid. “Go! Go! Go! Step on it!” Sonic thought it was funny. Tom did not, apparently. Donut Lord jumped in his seat, laid on the horn and when nothing terrible happened.
“Why would you do that?!” Tom brought his out stretched hands that kinda looked like he was going to choke his blue furry passenger to the top of his head before he finally rested them on the steering wheel.
“Becasue it was funny? And what’s with you? You’ve been acting weird all day. Well, more like five minutes but my point still stands.” Sonic was ready for an explanation but he never got one.
“I haven’t been acting weird? What are you talking about? You’re the one who’s being weird.” Tom put the car in drive and started to reverse so he couldn’t see the absolute look of shock on Sonic’s face. How his mouth fell open and his eyes widened. He was not acting weird. He had absolutely no clue as to where Tom got that idea from. Probably from the same place where he thinks that some of his t-shirts are acceptable to wear in public.
“Me?! I’ll have you know that I’m probably the least weird thing that you’ll find in America. And possibly the world.” Maybe even bigger, who knows.
“Just… don’t run off when we get home. You, me, and Maddie are gonna have a small chat,” Sonic’s stomach did a little flip and his ears folded down. Was this it? Did they finally grow tired of him? Of his attitude? Sonic knew no good thing last forever but- Before Sonic could spiral too much mentally and begin to apologise non-stop, “You’re not in trouble or anything. It’s just your- gosh, I don’t really know how to say it. I guess… your taste in women?” Tom was staring straight ahead, almost unnaturally so, like he didn’t even want to risk the chance of catching Sonic’s gaze. But Sonic didn’t notice he was too busy training to get the whirlpool of emotions to calm down.
What was that even supposed to mean? Sonic had no clue. Taste in women? Like biting them? Licking them? He doesn’t know. He’ll find out sooner or later so Sonic just shrugged and looked out the window. As the forest began to thin out and lead to a more civilized area. Sonic thought of what to do when he got back. Maybe he would play some games, go for a run, make new friends? Meh. He could figure something out after he had this little strange chat with Donut Lord and Pretzel Lady.
“How was your checkup, Sonic?” Checkup?! Sonic squinted at Pretzel Lady, who was sitting next to him on the couch. He had finally arrived back at the house after Tom’s grandma driving made it take forever. He was ready to get this silly little talk, which he probably didn’t even need, over with. Just to be assaulted by a poor choice of words.
“If by checkup you mean torture. It was okay.” He could play it up and go on and on about how ‘terrible’ Robotnik was but he just wanted to get this talk over with. Sonic’s ear twitched and he looked over at Tom as the human walked up next to him to sit on the other end of the couch. Now he was trapped. A hedgehog sandwich… Or would it be a human sandwich with hedgehog filling? Sonic wasn’t sure because a hedgehog sandwich would have two hedgehogs and he was the only one- “What?” Sonic turned towards Maddie as he completely missed what she said.
“I just said that’s good. I’m glad the ‘torture’ didn’t affect you too much.” Sonic brought a hand to his chin and rubbed it.
“Well you know me. I’m quite resilient. And if anything. It was torture for Diercter Robotnik today.” Maddie kinda got a weird look in her face and her eyes flickered above his head, probably looking at Tom before she looked back down at him.
“How so?”
“Heh.” Sonic rubbed under his nose with a gloved finger, “If you must know, I really layed into her today.” To be honest, he didn’t, not really. She didn’t even react when he called her fat or old or whatever. But Tom and Maddie didn’t know that. “Yeah…” He looked at Maddie and Tom and they both seemed to be confused or something. That’s okay. Sonic knows that he’s not just faster than everyone in the physical sense but also in the mental sense too. So he’ll help the two humans along by giving them an example, “She was like ‘Sonic! Please stop you’re really hurting me’,” Sonic spoke in a very, very poor imitations of a grandma’s voice before he switched to his own, “But I was like, ‘That’s too bad, this is what you get for thinking that you could take on big blue,” Sonic once again looked between Tom and Maddie but they seemed even more confused and maybe a hint of terror? Sonic gets it now. “Don’t worry. Just because she’s old,” Sonic turned towards Donut Lord and winked up at him, “and fat,” Tom did give him the go-ahead to call Robotnik fat so he did deserve some credit, “ doesn’t mean anything. I would have still done what I did even if she wasn’t. Cause I-”
“Please Stop.” Sonic was a little taken back as his head moved backwards before he turned with raised brows towards Maddie, who had her head in her hands. He then looked to Tom as if to ask if he just heard what Maddie just said but he wasn’t doing much better either. Sonic leaned back against the couch. He didn’t have a clue as to why they were acting so strange. He knows that they have mentioned before that he could maybe be a little nicer to Maria, which he thinks they are the insane ones for saying that. Also using Director Robotnik’s first name like they’re best buddies. They’re betraying him! They’re betraying Sonic! But before the hedgehog could pour his little heart out and give them the earful that they deserve. Maddie continued to speak, “You can’t - you- You can’t do that Sonic.” Sonic coked a brow. He knows exactly how to handle this.
“Sorry Pretzel Lady but I’m just exercising my first amendment right. Freedom of speech, you ever heard of it?” Sonic sounded way too confident and smug for talking about something that he really didn’t know anything about.
“I know wha…” Maddie trailed off and her hand fell from her face. She squinted at him before she looked at Tom then back at him again. “Wait… what exactly did you do to Maria?” Sonic rolled his eyes again at the first name. She is the enemy so he doesn’t get why Tom and Maddie seem so adamant on using her first name.
“I roasted her,” Sonic didn’t see any understanding on their faces which makes sense, “That just means I insulted her. It’s okay that you didn’t know that since I know when you get so old it's hard to learn new things and you forget alot.” Sonic tried to be as sympathetic as he could. He nodded slowly as he spoke and the words left his mouth through a frown.
“Bud we’re not that olll-” Tom suddenly changed his sentence real quick and Sonic didn’t know why. He looked to Maddie to see if she knew but he quickly looked away as Pretzel Lady did not look happy at all as she was glaring at Donut Lord, “We’re not old at all. We’re actually young… quite young.” Sonic did not think that was true but he didn’t want Maddie to look at him like that so he kept his mouth shut. “So like you just… roasted Maria?” Now it was Sonic’s turn to glare up at Tom who, to his credit, did hold his hands out and correct himself, “Robotnik. Nothing like-” Tom’s eyes flickered between him and above him, “physical?”
Physical? What was Tom even talking about? Sonic did suppose she did touch his arm but she was wearing a glove. Sonic was about to answer when his brows furrowed. This entire thing was weird. Tom and Maddie were acting strange and their questions about Robotnik made no sense since they know that he doesn’t like to talk about her unless it's to insult or come up with an insult. Sonic knew something was up and he was on the case!
He shot out from his seated position into a standing one and pointed with one hand, which he had to move back and forth to point at both humans on the couch, “What is going on with you two? You’re both acting really strange…” Sonic did realize the irony that here he was, a blue talking alien hedgehog telling two humans that they were the strange ones. But he ignored it because he was right. Maddie broke under his intense and very detectivey gaze first.
“Tom called and said you had a crush on Robtnik!” Wait what?
“What?! No I didn’t-” Tom addressed him but Sonic didn’t really realize as his mind was still stuck on what Maddie just said, “I mean… I did call but only because you said that you liked her.” Sonic couldn’t even speak to tell Tom that he was absolutely without a shadow of a doubt, crazy. Sonic did not say anything close to that but he just couldn’t get the words out. He just put his hands on top of his head and started to pace back and forth in front of his humans. They continued to talk- argue with each other but Sonic couldn’t pay attention. He was too busy being shellshocked. And when he finally came to his senses, Sonic stopped infront of Tom and put his hands on his knees, because he couldn’t reach his shoulders, and shook them.
“What could possibly make you think that?! Please. Tell me so I never do it again!”
Tom sputtered before he cleared his throat, “My apologies, okay? I don’t know why I thought that. How about we just forget this conversation ever happened and continue on with our day?” Sonic liked the sound of that. Maybe he would go on a run to clear his head and hopefully on his run he would trip and bang his head against a rock making him forget this conversation happened.
“I agree with Tom here. I just, it’s really his fault, you know? Cause like the way he called me and sounded like he was on the verge of tears made me really panic.” Sonic looked back and forth between Tom and Maddie as they begun to argue again. He took his hands off Tom’s knees and tilted his head. The way they were arguing, and how they were acting… They were really freaked out at the idea of him liking Robotnik… The gears in his head began to turn, slowly but surely. The past couple weeks, today. Director Robotnik didn’t even seem to care when he attacked her with rudeness and insults.
Sonic cleared his throat. The arguing didn’t stop. Sonic’s ears twitched and he rolled his eyes. “Ae-hm!” That finally got them to pay attention to him, “You two were really scared, huh? Like you didn’t know to respond?” Tom and Maddie looked at each other before Maddie answered the three foot tall blue hedgehog in their living room.
“I mean… I think we handled it pretty well.” Tom nodded along with her words which had Sonic putting his hands on his hips. They did not handle it well at all. In his opinion.
“But like… You were freaked out, right?”
Maddie shrugged and tried to play it cool but Sonic saw right through, “Psshh. No, not at all. What would make you think that?” Sonic wanted to call her out on her lie but he had more important things to discuss.
“I wasn’t being completely honest earlier.” If a pen fell, it would be heard with how quiet the room got. “Robotnik didn’t actually care that I insulted her. Like she didn’t even react.” Sonic expected some sort of sympathy but he didn’t get anything. He’ll remember that.
“Okay?”
“Well, seeing as how you two reacted to the idea of me having a crush on her,” They both continued to look at him with no understanding, “I think the only way to throw her off her game and get her to react,” Sonic paused as he looked at both Tom and Maddie before he resumed, “Is that I'm going to have to seduce her.” Now, Sonic didn’t want to. But he had no choice. If he can’t beat her with insults then he’ll just have to use his charm. He did expect some pushback from Tom and Maddie but what he got far outweighed his expectations. Almost enough to make him think that seducing Director Robotnik would be a bad idea.
“No- Buddy, you can’t- You can’t!” Sonic just raised a brow at Tom. He most certainly can.
Maddie brought a hand to rub her forehead before she spoke, “Do you even know what seducing means?”
“Of course I do,” Sonic may not know the ‘dictionary definition’ of it because he’s not a nerd. But he’s seen enough tv to know exact;y what it means, “It means to trick women into liking you.” And judging by their silence, he was pretty spot on. Now, he did need to think of an attack strategy or he could just rely on his looks… Hmm. Sonic wasn’t sure.
Maddie brought her other hand to her forehead, “And youuu… Want to trick Maria into liking you? I thought you hated her? How about you just go back to insulting her you know,” And what followed might haunt Sonic in his dreams as Maddie tried and failed miserably to impersonate the greatest hedgehog in the world. (It’s him, he’s the greatest hedgehog in the world) “Ohhh, Robotnik… Grrrr, I hate you.” Sonic’s ears tilted down and he looked between Tom, Maddie, and the ground. There was silence for a couple of seconds which really felt like an eternity before Maddie cleared her throat.
“You’re just gonna end up creeping her out and embarrassing yourself bud. I have to say it’s a terrible idea.” Sonic pretended to be very hurt, but truthfully he didn’t have to play it up that much. Tom was always supposed to have his back no matter what. And the way he reacted to his plan, like it was the stupidest thing ever, didn’t really make him feel good inside.
Sonic opened his mouth, to explain just how perfect his plan is but he wasn’t gonna waste his breath on a couple of-of… jerks. “Whatever.” And another reason, though he wouldn’t admit it to anyone was because he didn’t trust his voice not to waver and crack. “I-I’m just gonna go now.” He was pretty sure his voice cracked near the end but he didn’t care. Sonic completely ignored the no running in the house rule and disappeared in a flash of blue light as he made the short run up to the attic and basically jumped into his racecar bed face down into the pillow.
Sonic didn’t care. He didn’t care that Tom and Maddie thought his plan to seduce Director Robotnik was the stupidest thing ever. He didn’t care that the two people who matter the most to him thought his idea was dumb. Sonic rolled over and looked at the ceiling. He decided to go on a run, after all. What better way to clear one's head than taking a leisurely stroll at a couple hundred miles per minute? Without delaying, Sonic shot out of the bed, through the skylight and started his run throughout Green Hill.
Which made him feel a little better. The wind whipping through his fur. The adrenaline pumping through his veins as he had to make split second decisions to avoid crashing into trees and to avoid rocks that for some reason seem drawn to him, always trying to trip him. He passed a deer, another deer. They didn’t see him but he saw them. And birds, and squirrels and, all the creatures of the forest, also saw the way multiple trees in front of him were snapped and twisted. Wait what?
Sonic came to a halt infront of the carnage. This was definitely new because he’s been in these woods thousands of times and he’s never noticed something like this before. “That’s strange… but I guess I have seen stranger things.” He quickly looked around the forest to see if anyone heard his joke. But of course they didn’t. Probably because he’s in the middle of the forest. Well, whatever, it was probably just a lighting strike or somethinggg… As Sonic turned his head he saw a clear path of destruction. Like the hulk ran through the forest in an almost straight path. “That’s definitely a lighting strike.” A little- A lot curious. Sonic started to follow the path of broken wood, up turned dirt, and scattered forest things. And maybe he was just going crazy but the amount of wild animals seemed to drop to zero the more he followed the trail. “Hello? Anyone there?” Sonic ducked under a three that was split at the base and half of it fell over the trail. “I must warn you. I would not be a yummy snack as I’m mostly bone and quills… Woah.” The destruction came to a stop and in a small crater there was a… rock?
“ Well, that was anti climatic." Sonic didn’t know what to expect but it certainly wasn’t a weird looking rock. He took a step closer and got a better look. It was black and it had splotches of red? The more Sonic looked at it the more unsettled he got. “I’m- I’m” He tried to shake his head but he couldn’t move. His quills bristled and energy arced though his fur in a flight or fight response.
There was something wrong here. Sonic just knew it. Something deep in the back of his mind. It was just a rock, he didn’t know why he got so frightened all of a sudden, “It’s just a rock, It’s just a rock… Nothing to see here just a…” Sonic’s heart was about the only thing he could hear before, “Screw this. I’m out of here.” He turned and bolted off. Sonic decided to listen to his perfect body. He’s seen way too many horror movies where the character completely ignore signs and he’s not gonna end up like them. Yet despite the sudden terror that came out of nowhere, he was also curious. Maybe he’ll go back later… with a weapon, or two… or six.