Chapter Text
I wasn't really thinking of doing ANOTHER of these, but whatever.
I kinda have to, sooooo
No, I'm N O T going on hiatus. This is not a hiatus thing, ewww.
No, no. I just need some answers and a lil support from my lovely peeps🐥🥺
The next Chapter is in progress and hopefully will be out by Friday, give or take. I'm going to be with family for Fall Break over the weekend, so I won't be posting from Friday-Monday unless I finish a Chapter in lightening speed, but given I haven't seen my family in 2 months, I wouldn't count on it.
No, I am not going to be talking to them abt all the IRL stress I've been having. They seem to think I'm some great brave person doing college so far away and I'm not in the mood to tell them I'm spiraling and have them tell me "Just go to church, it'll solve all your problems."
Ngl, I don't WANT to. It means more awkwardness, more of being the newbie, more of seeing everyone know everyone, and more than that, I'm comfy right here.
IDRK what I think at this point, but I know I'm not thinking of telling my parents about the anxiety I've been having.
On that note, does anyone have ANY ideas for some therapy????
Today I got an email from a Professor a few hours before my class with him, and he was asking us to print an Essay that we all were working on during class time(a personal essay; we all write one about ourselves and stuff, and he wanted to bring a printed copy)
I forgot abt the email because I received it during my morning class, and thus forgot until ten minutes before class.
I had rushed down to the printer in the dorm hall at the bottom floor, but IT WOULD NOT WORK. I had to ask for help, but apparently the printer had no paper.
So I ran to where I was having my class and looked there.
There was no printer on the first floor, so I had to ask a gal on the second floor. They said there was a good one on the third floor, so I ran up there with 2 minutes til class. Normally I would've already been in the classroom, but now I was panicking bad.
To top it all off, the printer WAS NOT ACCEPTING MY FILE. It registered it, but would not print. I sent it three different times and actually started crying a little, just completely overwhelmed until I ran back down to find the gal.
I think they could tell by my cracking voice and shaking that I was NOT OKAY, because, bless their soul, they came with me to help me figure it out. Turns out THAT printer didn't have paper EITHER.
They told me the 2nd floor printer almost never worked, but, given that I still wanted to try(and I think they could tell leaving me to panic over it wasn't a good idea), they went with me and helped me set it up.
AND IT WORKED.
I almost cried all over again and came THIS 🤏 close to hugging them because I was CRYING when the 3rd floor printer hadn't been working.
Only NOW I was 12 minutes late to class.
My Professor didn't seem TOO mad, as apparently the whole class had either struggled to print or simply hadn't been able to. One of my classmates took one look at my face and seemed to tell I was NOT okay.
Luckily, this was one of the classes where I brought my Ribbit-Suit Jax plush.
But yeah, I think it says a lot about just how bad I'm doing if I'm having a complete mental breakdown over a printer.
Even tho my Professor hadn't been mad, I had been beating myself up over it and hating on myself even more than usual during class. I couldn't stand how late I'd been, and the gal seemed to have noticed that contributed to my panic earlier, given I'd been on the verge of breaking down when I'd been saying I was LATE.
So yeahhhhh
Not doing okay. At all.
So if anyone has any ideas, I'd appreciate them very much
ALSO
I had one idea for a fanfic that I'm not sure I should post, given my workload. I have a Sonic Fanfiction, Crying in the Dark, The Swirling Pendant, which is nearing completion, That One's Just a Weed, a TADC fanfic, Atrophy, and when I finish The Swirling Pendant, I'm going to start working on I WAS IN HELL, LOOKING AT HEAVEN.
So I wanted to give the deets on this other idea and see if ya'll would ever want to see it, and if you would prefer it sooner. I like writing all of these, but I also want to write smth that gets me comments-that SOUNDS selfish and self-centered and God, it sounds awful, but long comments are my therapy for now. Let me have this please🥺🥺
This is the overall idea:
It's a spin on the TADC Puppeteer AU(look that one up, it's DOPE)
It's essentially where Jax was bullying Gangle and she wraps her ribbons around him and discovers she can control him, essentially possessing him by wrapping herself around his body. I highly recommend looking it up and checking the artwork, it's FIRE.
But I wanted to do a little spin on the AU, for my own sake, hehe!!!
In MY take on the AU, there would be a few key differences:
-Jax would not be AS cruel to Gangle. Still cruel, yes, but not to the extensive degree of the cannon.
-Jax and Zooble are 19; Pomni is 22; Gangle is 23. Ragatha and Kinger remain the same age.
Zooble and Gangle are not AS close as of yet.
This would be FUN to write, and, for further consideration, here is a synopsis I made a long while back:
The last straw has finally been shredded, and Gangle discovers her ribbons can do far more than help her feel human. Eager to deliver the karmic justice she believes Jax has deserved for years, she wastes no time putting her newfound ability to use. But as the strain on her favorite puppet becomes impossible to ignore, the others are forced to confront a difficult question: where is the line between justice and vengeance? By the time things take a darker turn, Time is no longer waiting for their answer. He asks only one question: 'When did punishment stop fitting the crime?'
.....also, food allergies can happen. Just saying that now.
Could possibly be a Psychology/Puppeteer AU. Who's to say, I'm psycho. Maybe all this is happening in an AU where all the humans are in a psychiatric unit instead of a Circus. Who's to say??
.....maybe it even mentions reversed abstraction and mental instability so I can self project😝
Would you peeps like to see this, or would you rather I burn it all??🤣🤣🤣
But, yeah.
TL, DR; A new fanfic idea I want to know if ya'll want to read, and my mental health is getting worse and worse.
If ya'll have any thoughts, let me know!!!!
The next Chapter of Atrophy should be coming soon!!!
STAY TUNEDDDDD