Chapter Text
This man would be the death and resurrection of me. It hadn't even been two hours in mine and Milane's apartment, and he was already working his way under my skin with those fucking soft lips of his.
I'd tried my best to resist him, honestly. I walked away from the temptation to throw my arms around him when I opened the door; ignored him, reluctantly, when he'd opened his arms as an invitation to busy myself in a strong embrace - all in the name of "the chase". You know? That thing trifling ass men are subjected to for an undisclosed period of time, when they royally fuck up and then seek forgiveness (see: sex) from their significant other. You're supposed to ignore his advances, be stingy with your tender touches, limit how many times you kiss him - reduce him to nothing but a sniveling mess of sexual frustration and tears so that he'll appreciate you more in the future... blah, blah, blah. I read it in a self-help book once.
Anyway, I was trying to give him the chase, but that was currently proving fruitless.
First of all, this was Sebastian fucking Stan.
Secondly, this was Sebastian fucking Stan, the father of my baby...embryo? Zygote?.
Last, and most certainly not least, this was Sebastian fucking Stan, father of my baby-embryo zygote, breathing hot and heavy against my skin as I pressed my ass back into his hips and his hand slipped under the waistband of my sweatpants. And, I loved him. More than I could ever imagine. I would have never believed love could feel this way, mostly because I spent too much time with the wrong people, allowing them to distort my views and ideas on the concept - spent too much time hurting myself while others hurt me.
I also loved his thick thighs. I told him so.
"Yeah?" he says, and I could tell he's smiling as he cupped his hand over my mound, lodging two fingers in my folds. "You love my thighs, Rori? Well... I love your pretty face." Sebastian banded his arm around my waist, holding me flush against his chest while he bit into my shoulder and sucked. His lips moved against the shell my ear, afterwhich he tugged on my earlobe with his teeth. "I also love how you smell like paradise after a shower. I love how you look like a goofy chipmunk when you stuff your face with food."
I laughed. Despite the feeling of heat trickling in the depths of my stomach, I threw my head back onto his shoulder and let out a loud bark of laughter, my knees giving out as Sebastian literally held me up by the sheer strength of his arm below my tits. He nuzzled my cheek, the light dusting of his beard feeling rough against my hot skin as he buried his nose into my neck and chuckled. How he managed to switch from making me feel like the sexiest woman in the world to gasping for air, howling with laughter, was a talent I doubt I'd ever be able to fully comprehend. But, that was Seb. He made me laugh, he made me happy.
After finally composing myself, I straightened and turned around to face him - I definitely did not miss the huff of frustration at his fingers disengaging from in between my thighs. Cupping his stubbly cheeks in my hands, I craned my neck and dropped a kiss on his pouty lower lip. "I'm sorry Seabass, but the magic's gone." I kissed him again, a little longer this time. "And I'm hungry."
With a gentle pat on his cheek, I slip past him and head over to the cabinet, pulling two plastic cups out and placing them on the counter top. "You wanna eat in here or the lounge, Seb?"
"Hmm, lounge. I'm in the mood for some cartoons. And," he adds, walking around the island to grab my hand and pull towards him, "if you're good, maybe I'll feed you some of that Hershey's sitting on your coffee table."
He hums and I sigh when we lock lips, again. My God, we're a sappy bunch aren't we? But I can't help it! In the span of 6 months, Sebastian has dug his fingers into my heart and plugged the dark holes I tried to plaster up over the years. He this way of knowing what to say and when to say it. Knows how to read me like a book, no, honestly. Instead of merely looking at the front cover and reading the blurb, Sebastian has taken the time to actually learn what's inside. Front to back. He's run his finger down my spine, swiped his cool palm over my skin as though he's appreciating the feel, the smell of it before opening me up and seeing me in all my glory. My pain. He knows how to move me, make my muscles tense when he's got that naughty gleam in his blue eyes and slacken their hold when he rubs soothingly into my shoulders. And I swear to God, that man can read my mind. He's a heaven sent - when did I get so lucky? Also, what the actual fuck did I do to deserve him? If I unexpectedly jumped in front of a Maserati, will I be lucky enough to get that too? I wonder.
"Damn, Rori, when did I get so lucky?" You see?
I gave him an easy, almost dopey smile. "2nd of April, when you nearly sent me falling to my death." I kissed him again. Shut up. "I'm glad I met you, Stan."
"I'm glad you met me, too." I swatted at his chest jokingly and stepped out of his arms. The food was getting cold.
With our two plates in my hand - my one unashamedly piled high with an assortment of delicious smelling food - I headed off into the lounge and placed his plate on the coffee table next to my bowl of strawberry jello.
You ever have that moment of self-hate when you realise you've forgotten to do something, and now you're too comfortable or busy to get up and go do it? Like switching off your bedroom light just after snuggling into the plush comfort of your bed, or going to the bathroom for the best shower of your life after working out and wanting to fall to the ground in tears, because you forgot to bring your shower gel? Well, I was experiencing something like that after I'd put the season one disk of Ed, Edd and Eddy into the DVD player. I'd unceremoniously plopped myself onto the couch and made the effort to lift my long ass legs off the floor to tuck them in sideways, already shoving a forkful (I couldn't find any chopsticks) of noodles in my mouth. It was only after popping a chicken spring roll in my mouth that I realised I'd forgotten the drinks. Fuck my entire life!
"Hey Seabass?!"
"Yeah?" He sounded preoccupied.
"Could you handle the drinks? Hunger clouded my judgement and I forgot."
Just then, right on cue, Sebastian walked out with two large coffee mugs in his hands, smiling triumphantly. My first thought was, that he's secretly a weird mutant - like Wanda Maximoff - with intentions of infiltrating the US government with his telekenesis. My second thought: why on earth he settled for coffee mugs when I'd already pulled out two tumblers for us and left them on the kitchen counter? The third one - why coffee? Or was it tea?
"You know I gotcha, kid," he said while strutting towards where I sat, raising the mugs in the air victoriously before setting them down on the floor, away from his feet. Sebastian bent down to grab my ankles and straighten my legs, lifting them up before sitting himself down and placing them across his lap. With a soft grumble and shifted my hips so I could sit more comfortably. Him and this habit of moving my limbs out of the way. After finally getting settled with his own plate of rabbit food, we sat and ate in easy silence, me bopping my head to the side and exclaiming "Ed, Edd and Eddy!" in unison with the show's characters at the end of the catchy jingle. Eventually, I spoke, pausing around a mouthful of chicken which I temporarily stuffed in my cheek.
"Sooo, how's the Marvel shandis going?" I asked.
Sebastian managed to furrow and quirk his dusky eyebrows at the same time, his face twisted in utter confusion. He looked so cute and funny I nearly spat my chow mein out while laughing. "My what?"
"Your acting, idiot." He was still looking at me funny, so I proceeded to explain to him how I'd picked the word up at home. Sebastian only looked at me pointedly before answering.
"S'going good. Nice to get a bit of rest after all the flying and premiers and cameras and shit." He looked at me, a bright twinkle shifting in his eyes. "How've you been holding up, Rori?"
"What? Why are you looking at me like I just stole your 'Sunday's Best' church outfit?" He only squeezed my calf and huffed a chuckle, awaiting my response. "I- things have been okay but..." Sebastian's eyes left the TV screen to look at me after hearing the tone in my voice, the hesitant pause.
"But what? What is it, Sweetie?"
"I think Milane is hiding something from me. Something life-altering." I took a deep breath and steeled myself against my emotions before continuing. This situation, though frustrating, was out my control and crying about it would be pointless. "She's flying to New York on Saturday. The bitch refuses to tell me why, but she'll be gone for three weeks and then she's flying back.
"But why do I feel like she won't be back for long? I can't wrap my head around it, but she told me she can't let this opportunity pass her by - it feels as though the next few days could potentially be our last, Seb."
Sebastian sighed heavily, leaning forward to put his half-eaten meal on the table. He then took mine and did the same before reaching his hand out to grasp mine. My gaze focused on our hands sitting on my thigh as I tried not to feel like shit. Milane's my best friend. Hell, we were practically sisters. But at the end of the day, she was a grown woman with big dreams and one hell of a drive. If she was leaving because she was taking a step up on the ladder of personal success, then I would be ecstatic for her because it was what she'd always wanted. What we always wanted. Together.
But this was life. And my life could be a fucking confused asshole sometimes. It gave me Sebastian, but I would be losing Mimi. And it kinda sucked.
"Hey. Look at me," Sebastian said in a soft-spoken voice. I did as he asked. "I know you're hurting and I wish I could take that away, I really do. But I'm gonna be 'honest Seb' with you for a minute.
"You're young, Rori, and maybe you didn't fully understand it before, but this is all a part of life. You grow up, you grow old, and sometimes, friendships grow apart. Unfortunately, you can't always pick and choose how or when it happens, 'cause that's not how it works, but you can choose how to deal with it.
"You two love each other to pieces and you're as thick as thieves, but sometimes that love gets put to the test. How you handle the situation will determine how all of this bullshit turns out in the end." He placed my legs on the floor and scooted in close, lifting a warm, weathered hand to cup my cheek. "I know I'm right, just look at us."
Damn. Come thru, life-coach Sebastian. Come thruuuu!!
My lip curled in one corner and I placed my own hand on his. He was right. The two of us had waded through piles of bullshit within a couple months of knowing each other - although I wouldn't say falling pregnant was part of said bullshit - and so far, we'd made it. Murder strutting our way through the smoke and dust like the badasses we were. Sunglasses and matching outfits to boot.
"You can't toot your own horn, Stan," I commented, giggling when he pinched my cheek and shook it gently. He stretched his other arm over, draping it across my shoulders and pulling me in to rest my head on his shoulder.
"F'course I can! Do you know who I am, woman?" He reached down and hooked his opposite hand under my thighs, pulling them up so my knees rested on his outer thigh. He kissed my forehead. "You're a troublemaker, you know that? But you're my troublemaker."
"Yes, and you better not forget it either. Hey, by the way, why did you settle with coffee dude?"
Sebastian reared his head back to look down at me, once again confused. "What? I didn't bring no damn coffee in here, that's red wine."
Lifting my head off his shoulder, I stared at him with an incredulous look on my face, eyebrows furrowed and my lips parted as I tried to figure out if he'd lost his damn mind. "I can't drink wine, remember?" I rolled my eyes and scoffed when he only blinked at me,"Really?!"
Ladies and gentlemen, I give you Sebastian Stan! Give him a round of applause for having completely forgotten what was going on in my uterus. I nodded my head down and cast my eyes down, gesturing towards my belly. Another second passed before it finally clicked.
"Oh! Oh! Shiiit!" He touched his hand to my stomach, looking at me apologetically, "fuck, Rori! Baby! Holy shit, I'm sorry. I- I forgot there's a tiny little person growing in there." So dramatic, I know. He grabbed my hand again, lifting it to his lips and kissing it twice before letting it go. He was smiling at me, those austere eyes sparkling in wonder and excitement. "I can't believe we're having a baby, Mbali."
Ah. My second name then. This was the Sebastian who'd looked me this way the night I held him close and told him I wanted him to be my first. Trusted him with my name, slightly debauchered, but held carefully - lovingly - in his hands. Unexpected circumstances aside, I regretted absolutely nothing. I liked the Sebastian sized spaced that had been carved into my life, wanted him to fill it forever if possible.
"You wanna see your baby next week, Seabass?"
His face lit up as though I had just told him I had candyfloss-flavoured panties on. A beautiful, pearly-white smile on his face. My breath stilted and my heart fumbled.
"I thought you'd never ask."