Chapter Text
Beep. Beep.
Beep.
Why does it sound like Darth Vader breathing?
Why was that the first thought that came to his mind instead of "oh, were are we?"
Leon peeled his eyes opened again. What met him was a blurry tile ceiling. A curtain surrounding him. Baby blue color. Something scratched at his arms and legs.
He took account of his body. Wiggled his fingers and toes. Those were still there, though his feet were a little cold. He felt surprisingly clean, like he'd taken a sponge bath. His hair felt fluffier like when it air dried. His body felt heavy with remnants of exhaustion. He knew he wouldn't be able to lift his arm if he tried. It should've alarmed him, but he knew he wasn't in any necessary danger.
The National Guard came. That was the last thing he remembered. And Bryan—
Leon's eyes widened. He would've sat upright if he could've.
Bryan.
Holy shit.
Was he okay? Where was he? He was cured, right? Leon didn't hallucinate that the moment before death's clutches caught him?
Beep beep beep beep beep
His heart monitor sounded haywire. Leon reached for the blanket tucked up to his shoulders, every movement dusting off sore muscles. They felt like he'd taken the world's most complicated but effective workout.
The curtain drew back right as he started sitting up. There was a woman in a white coat. A doctor. She had some of the thickest glasses frames Leon had ever seen in a leopard print pattern. They looked wonderful on her face, emphasizing her deep brown eyes and smooth brown skin. Her hair was pulled back into a slicked sock bun.
Professional but fun. Interesting.
"Mr. Kennedy, you need to lie back down," she said. Her voice was calm, low, commanding authority. She walked to his bedside, her eyes caught on the medical equipment behind him. "How are you feeling? Any pain?"
"N-No," he managed. His mouth felt like a desert. He ran his tongue over his lips.
"The drugs are working, then."
"Where am I?"
The doctor paused, looking down at him. She raked her eyes over his form. He probably looked like he'd crawled out of the pits of hell. His heart kept racing, kept begging for an answer. She sighed and reached behind her to pull a rolling stool close to his bedside. She pushed up her glasses and set her clipboard down gingerly on the bedside table.
"My name is Doctor Harris. What do you remember?" she asked slowly, probably testing his cognitive function.
"Where's Bryan?" he blurted worriedly. His eyes darted around, but the curtain obscured the rest of the room. The part that Dr. Harris opened to come inside only gave him a view of the door leading to the hallway. Nothing else. No other bed, no windows, no nothing.
"Please answer my question, Mr. Kennedy."
"I—I uh… the sky bridge. We were on the sky bridge and the National Guard came to get us. That was the last thing I remember."
"And before that?"
"We delivered the package to the top of Raccoon City General. How long have I been asleep?"
"About two days. Seemed like you needed the rest." She glanced at her clipboard. "I saw in your records you were employed by the Raccoon City Police Department?"
Leon wanted to rip his hair out. He didn't want this small talk. He wanted to ask where Bryan was, if he was okay. He couldn't see him. If he couldn't see him, he could be in danger again. He was one hell of a danger magnet that Leon needed to counteract by being by his side.
Except he knew that she wasn't going to give him answers until he played her little game of get-to-know-the-patient. He bit the inside of his cheek.
"Was my first day yesterday. Or whatever day it was. September 30th."
"Talk about bad luck," Dr. Harris said with a sympathetic smile. Leon felt nothing.
"What do you know about Raccoon City? About what happened?"
"Nothing. No one does. I was hoping you'd be able to tell me."
"H-How does nobody know…" Leon trailed off.
Nobody would know because no one was alive to tell the tale. The whole city was overrun. No cops, no paramedics, no hospital staff. No civilians. Leon doubted he and Bryan were the only survivors. Humans were resilient. Someone else had to have made it out. That didn't mean that news crews were just wandering the streets of Raccoon City recording the chaos go down.
"The city was blown up."
"What?" Leon said.
"Yeah. The military dropped a massive bomb on it." Dr. Harris made a woosh noise. "The whole city was leveled. I'm surprised the choppers that brought you in weren't affected by the blast."
They blew up the city. Erased it from the map because it couldn't be saved. How many people were still stuck in the city, terrified to leave lest they be devoured by the rabid infected outside? Entire buildings, gone. Infected people vaporized.
"Mr. Kennedy, can you tell me what happened?"
Leon stared at the white scratchy blanket pooled in his lap. He could see it all so vividly.
The overturned cop car. The footprints in the snow. The farmhouse. Meeting Bryan, coming to terms with the idea of escorting him to Raccoon City General. The tunnel, Maxine and the scientist. The city itself, going through the sewers, being chased by the tumbleweed monster.
The deaths he couldn't have prevented. The people he could've saved.
Bryan mutating. His confession in the garage. Him calling out, begging to be saved.
"Mr. Kennedy?"
"Where… where's Bryan? Where are we?"
Dr. Harris pursed her lips. "We were told by the National Guard to keep your friend in the quarantine unit for precaution. And for the other question, you're at a hospital in Indiana. About eight hours from Raccoon City."
"Quarantine unit—he's cured. I put the needle in his neck. He's fine!" Leon exclaimed, throwing his arm out for emphasis. The motion stung, his chest throbbing.
"Mr. Kennedy, please stay still. You'll aggravate your wounds."
"I don't care, I want to see him—"
"I can't let you do that."
"I want to see him!"
"I need you to calm down."
He couldn't. His chest was on fire, each breath feeling like an ice pick to his lungs, and he was panicking. Sue him. He spent the better part of six hours glued to Bryan's side, sue him for not wanting to leave. That's all Leon wanted to do. All he'd need is to see the man with his own two eyes and he'd feel absolutely fantastic, chipper even.
Leon tossed the itchy blankets off, bringing his legs to dangle off the side of the bed. He could hear the heart monitor going crazy, Dr. Harris trying to persuade him to stop, but he had one goal in mind. Much like how he and Bryan persisted to the hospital, he would push past every obstacle that stood in his way.
He needed to see for himself that the man was still alive. That he didn't fail.
"Mr. Kennedy, get back into bed—"
"No!"
"I cannot authorize this."
"So don't! I'm going whether you like it or not! I'm a…" he grit his teeth as his muscles strained, his socked feet hitting the floor. He was wearing those hospital gowns like the ones on TV. He'd have to ask for his clothes later. His badges. He needed to return them the the families of the officers. "I'm a police officer!"
"Doesn't make you above my law!" Dr. Harris said firmly as she stood in front of Leon with lowered brows. "You may have had authority out there but in here, you're my patient, not a cop. I know what's best for you right now and it's laying back down and stopping yourself before you get even more hurt."
"Ma'am, I appreciate everything you've done to keep me alive, but I need to see him. You don't understand, I can't… I can't—" Leon took in deep breaths "—I need to see him alive."
The woman looked him over again. He put on his best impression of Bryan and his big, impressionable eyes. Bryan had said he looked like a pouty cheerleader. Whatever that meant, but it seemed like a good thing in terms of puppy dog eyes. The thing that managed to get kids whatever they wanted. He hoped it would work on this, obviously, kind hearted doctor who wanted him to get better. He would get better once he saw for himself.
Leon saw the moment she broke. He tried not to outwardly celebrate his success because he wasn't out of the woods yet.
"If I bring you to see him, will you finally go back to bed?"
"Yes! Yes, I will!"
"I'm gonna hold you to it. And you better stay in bed until I tell you otherwise. We can ask questions later." Dr. Harris walked to the other side of the room to push a wheelchair to the bedside. She helped him take the two steps needed to sit before taking the reigns behind him. She started towards the door but paused, walking back to the bed to grab the top blanket off the bed, putting it on his lap. "Alright. Let's go."
The doctor wheeled him into the hallway. Immediately, he wanted to go back to his quiet room. The hall was bustling. Nurses walking every which way barking words he couldn't dream of having in his vocabulary, stretchers being pushed down the hall, the wheels squeaking. The beep of the intercom above going off. Someone was crying in the waiting room. A guy stood in front of a vending machine just staring at the chips inside.
Dr. Harris pushed him into an elevator which, thank God, wasn't packed. There was a nurse, himself, and Dr. Harris. The doors closed before anyone else could snake aboard. Dr. Harris pressed the floor four button. They were on the third.
The elevator whirred up and Leon couldn't help but frantically glance around, expecting one of the corners to start disintegrating at any moment. His motions made him look like an absolute nutcase, but he didn't care. He had to be safe. If it were up to him, he'd never be in a hospital ever again.
The elevator dinged and the doors opened. Dr. Harris pushed him down the hall. This floor was much quieter, though he could hear the occasional hiss of compressed air. They passed a few rooms with floor to ceiling glass walls. Empty beds inside. Some held sleeping patients hooked up to all sorts of machines. Leon couldn't help but look at each of them, wondering what it must be like to lie in that bed, knowing you were sick with something so contagious that you got your own specialized room and specialized care.
Dr. Harris took a left at a crossroads before slowly coming to a stop. She let go of the handlebars.
Leon wheeled himself close to the windows. Pressed his hand against the cool glass.
Inside, Bryan was sound asleep. Even in the dim lighting, he could see the man had been cleaned up a little. His hair, too, was fluffier, billowing out against the pillow. Leon watched his chest slowly rise and fall. Calm. His body was intact. There was a dark line from the corner of his mouth to his ear that Leon didn't notice before. Where the mutation had split his skin open to make room for more teeth.
He looked so calm. His brows weren't raised high or furrowed. His lips were slightly parted, inhaling and exhaling. Leon wondered if he snored. He couldn't hear through the glass. It was good to see him in such a deep sleep after everything he went through.
Leon immediately felt calmer at the sight. He didn't want to leave now that he'd seen him. God, he was so pathetic, such a scaredy cat for feeling so horrified to leave him alone again. He had the urge to find his gun again, take up the role of protector, make sure no one went in or out of the room without him knowing.
Something was definitely wrong with him for thinking like that about a guy he barely knew. Like Bryan said, though, he would never be the same after that night. The same went for Leon. He knew there would be nothing like that night, no kind of trauma that would match the events they went through and they both knew it. It's what bonded them, he guessed. The no doubt mentally ill part of his brain said that he wouldn't have it any other way, that they both needed each other in some capacity after going through the horrors. The other part said that they were two grown ass men who could work through their trauma separately.
Was that what they wanted?
Leon didn't want that. Sounded like Bryan didn't want that, either.
"Is it… is it wrong of me to think that I want you to come home with me?"
"After tonight, I don't think… I'll ever be normal again. Being that monster, all that violence, what I did—even if it was beyond my control—I… I don't want you to run again."
I don't want you to run again. What more proof did he need?
"Is he okay?" Leon muttered, as if him talking ten feet away behind a wall would wake Bryan from his peaceful slumber.
"Seems perfectly healthy from the examinations we've done. What is your relation to him?" Dr. Harris asked curiously.
"Oh, I'm uh… friend."
"You don't seem so sure about that."
"It's complicated. Very very complicated."
"How so?"
Leon let his hand fall to his lap, looking over to the doctor who had a small grin on her face. "We nearly died together. Feel like that's telling enough."
"Trauma brings people together in strange ways. There was an accident including a public bus a few weeks ago. It was… interesting to see how some of the more severely injured people stuck together even after they were released," Dr. Harris said.
He didn't need to look at her to know she was trying to peel him apart, figure out what happened to make him so keen on seeing Bryan. He didn't want to talk anymore. He was fine just sitting there, calming his racing mind with every inhale and exhale that caused Bryan's chest to rise and fall.
"Must've been bad if the government bombed the city."
Leon bit his cheek. "It was hell on Earth."
"You said your friend was cured. Cured of what?"
"I don't even know." Leon sighed, leaning back in the wheelchair. He looked at the doctor's eyes, finding nothing but patience and curiosity. "So, I was late for my first day. Very late."
Turns out, explaining the events of the night to an outsider was surprisingly productive for Leon's brain. It wasn't nice to have the memories resurface, especially when they were so fresh on his mind, but talking about it made him feel like he wasn't alone. Bryan was right there, sure, but it was nice to have someone else know and understand the horrors of the night they went through. All the gore, the grief, the violence. What they were forced to do. Even if she didn't believe him, there was a reason the government blew up the city and why Bryan's arm was bandaged.
As he explained, though, he found that Dr. Harris was a little too calm. Perhaps the National Guard gave a very vague rundown of what they thought happened and left her with two distraught hermit crabs who clung to each other after their shells were smashed with a hammer.
"—and then the National Guard came and I lost consciousness. Woke up here."
Dr. Harris was quiet for a moment, gaze thoughtful. "I'm… God, I'm so sorry you had to go through that. All of you, everyone in the city. Now I get why you two begged to not be separated."
"Huh?"
"You don't remember." The woman turned her eyes to Bryan. She nodded at him. "He was about ready to punch my head nurse for wheeling you away. I guess the commotion woke you up for a split second 'cause you were reaching for him, too. But it makes sense now why you behaved in such a strong way. Both of you. You shared so many near-death experiences that it made some sort of pact between you that you'll stick together no matter what."
"Um… yeah. I guess. When you put it like that," Leon muttered.
"You seem sad. For good reason, I assume, after what you've just told me."
He snickered, hiding his face in his hands. "It's not… about the zombies and stuff."
He wondered if the doctor was a mind reader. If zombie viruses and mutations were real, then telepathy could theoretically exist, right?
"Is it about him?" she asked.
He nodded.
"What about him?"
Oh, I dunno, the fact that I really really like him and he's taken and has a kid on the way. The fact that I have these feelings and don't want to let him go. The fear that strikes me every time I can't see him, can't see him breathing.
"I made a promise to myself. Back in the farmhouse. One I didn't tell him about but I think he got the message later on. I promised I'd get him to the hospital safely, and after that, out of the city. Back to his pregnant girlfriend." He leaned back again with a sigh, shaking his head at his bleeding heart that wished to be close to the man behind the glass. "And somehow during the night, I just… I—"
"Oh," Dr. Harris said, suddenly looking between the two men separated from a wall of glass. "Oh. Yeah, that's um. Pretty complicated."
"Sorry, you're not a therapist, or someone who asked for me to dump that on you."
"If it's one thing I've learned as a doctor, it's that there's a reason for everything. Sounds simple, but it's a good reminder that some things happen for a reason—whether it be a result of your actions or someone else's. Someone breaking a vial led him to the city. You being late led you to him. There's a reason for everything. Sometimes knowing the backstory helps me better understand my patients."
Dr. Harris grinned down at him. "Explains a lot about you and your choice of profession."
"God, don't start. You sound like him—and every other person I met two days ago, for that matter." Leon couldn't help but smile. "Always calling me rookie."
"Are you not?"
"Yeah. I expected it from my peers, though, not literally everyone else."
"Well, it sounds like you and Bryan are good… friends."
Leon nodded slowly. "Think so."
"How about we get you back to bed now? You're struggling to keep your eyes open," Dr. Harris said, her voice smooth. Suddenly very convincing.
That didn't sound like such a bad idea, but that fear crippled Leon to the spot again. He wanted Bryan in his sight.
"Can't I visit? Go inside?" he asked stubbornly.
"Visiting hours have been over for hours. You can come back tomorrow."
"But I—"
"Nope, you need rest just like he needs his. I understand you feel compelled to be by his side or keep your promise you made, but you both need some peace and quiet. You might not believe me right now, but maybe some time away from each other would do you two good. Give you time to work through what you're thinking."
Leon didn't have a choice. No more puppy dog eyes would get him what he wanted from the woman. He played his card too early. He kept his eyes on Bryan's safe, sleeping form until Dr. Harris turned the corner.
Immediately, Leon felt colder. His heart felt more jittery.
He did not sleep that night.
It had been three days since Leon had last seen Bryan. Dr. Harris lied.
Granted, he'd been in and out of consciousness. She was right in that his body needed the rest. His muscles continued to ache, his bones were still trying to heal, and he was thinking himself in circles and driving himself stir-crazy. Still, it had been five days since Raccoon City gave them a gore-y, bloody welcome and horrid send-off, and Leon hadn't seen Bryan in three days.
So much could happen in that time.
Leon spent most of his time sleeping, doing the tests the nurses gave him, eating pudding, thinking about the man supposedly resting a floor above him. He wondered if Bryan was thinking the same things, too. About the people they met, the little girl, the lab. He wondered if Bryan was also dissecting nearly every single interaction they had throughout the night, questioning where their strange, sudden friendship suddenly tipped beyond the line into a tense, fragile relationship where being separated was like ripping hearts from chests.
His brain was stuck standing on a rope bridge in between two cliffs. One being the horrors of the night, and the other being Bryan and all the confusing emotions that swirled in his chest whenever his name was brought up. He kept teetering the line. Going over his grief surrounding the lives lost and the quiet moments they had where they could forget they were currently in the city from hell.
He'd asked the hospital staff where his clothes were. They said they were burned. A biohazard, they said, one they couldn't keep under order of the National Guard. He asked about the things in his pockets. The ammo, the badges.
Burned. Another piece of Raccoon City, of the life that tried to help stop the madness, lost to the fire. Lost to government cover-up operations. It made Leon feel even worse because he didn't memorize the names on the badges. Yes, he knew Maxine's name, but not her full name. Not something that would give closure to those who needed it. Though, she said she was a federal agent. Maybe whoever she worked for would understand what happened and provide a pretty lie to whoever was waiting for her at home.
The police officer didn't get the same treatment. Leon didn't even look at the name on the badge. He was too focused on finding the criminal who flipped the cruiser. The realization tied Leon to his bed for a full day. Just like Dr. Harris wanted.
Why did Dr. Harris lie? She said he'd be able to visit the next day and that did not happen no matter how much of a scene Leon made. The doctor was busy, her nurses would say, and that she gave them direct orders to not let him get up out of bed unless it was to use the restroom. Even still, he would be under watch. He told them that the doctor promised him a visit but they didn't buy it.
Which left him going stir-crazy.
Until today. Five days after the city blew sky high.
Leon had a plan. He'd been watching whenever he was awake and coherent. He memorized shift changes, memorized the moments where the nurses would be talking to their replacements, how much time he had to move before the new nurses came to check on him. He had an estimated minute and a half to get to the elevator before the nurses would realize he was gone. The elevator wasn't too far down the hall but in the state his muscles and bones were in, it would be a struggle.
Still, Leon had a plan.
He waited. And waited. Counted the hours until the next shift change. He pretended to go to the bathroom one minute before shift change so the nurse on duty wouldn't think anything was going on. He pretended to do his business, turning on the faucet to wash his hands. He cracked the door, seeing the nurse was gone. Leon peeked the corner. His room was empty.
He turned off the faucet and waddled to the door as quickly as possible. He leaned out the door. There he was at the nurse's station, talking to a new nurse. He needed to move.
Leon staggered into the hallway, occasionally glancing back. Now that he thought about it, his simple bare-bones plan was risky but effective. No nurses were stopping him. The nurse in charge of him still had his back turned. Even though Leon's ribs were still aggravating him, he managed to stumble towards the elevator right as it opened. A stroke of luck for once.
He pressed the floor three button and insistently dug his thumb into the third floor button. Thankfully, no one else tried to join him, which let the doors close smoothly. He sighed, shoulders relaxing. Why did all the good things have to happen once they were outside the city?
The ride was fast just like last time. The doors opened and he carefully stepped through. The nurse's station was empty. Good. He had to be fast if he wanted to make it.
After he passed the first room, he let his hand run across the wall, a support as he dragged himself down the hall. He could see the crossroads a few yards away. As he moved, he frowned at the quiet. Sure, it was the quarantine ward, but surely that meant there was all sorts of noise, right? Like air hissing from tanks, some silicone hazmat suits being moved about. Staff talking to each other, making sure everything was in order.
There was nothing. A pin could drop and it'd sound like an explosion. It made Leon's ears ring.
It almost felt too easy to get to Bryan's room. No obstacles at all. Leon half expected an infected person to run down the hall at him. In Raccoon City, there was always some sort of obstacle between them and their goal, them and their safety. Here, there was nothing between him and his goal and it kind of scared him.
Leon made it to Bryan's door.
His heart dropped. Bryan's room was empty.
Where is he?
Where'd he go?
He was right there.
Three days was a long time. Anything could happen.
Where is he?!
His breaths came in short bursts. His fingers twitched by his side for his pistol.
"Hey, excuse me! Who are you?"
His gaze snapped towards the voice. A person in scrubs was jogging towards him.
"What are you doing here?"
"Where is he?"
The nurse balked. "What?"
Leon tapped the glass. "Where is the man that was in this room? Bryan?"
"I can't disclose the whereabouts of the patients."
"I'm his friend—we came to this hospital together from Raccoon City. Where is he?"
The nurse raised her hands in surrender. Leon had seen enough of that for a lifetime at this hospital. Trying to placate him when he didn't act accordingly.
"Look, I'm not sure where he is, okay? Where did you come from? How'd you get here?" she asked.
"I'm… I'm sorry, I know you're just doing your job but please, I need to know where he is. I need to see him."
"You said you came from Raccoon City?"
"Yes. The National Guard told you guys to keep him up here, separate from me."
The nurse eyed the empty room before her eyes looked Leon up and down. Assessing his mental state, probably, wondering if he was going to snap if she said something he didn't like.
"I don't know where he is right now, but I can find out. Come with me. You look pale and should probably sit down."
Leon didn't want to leave. He wanted answers and he wanted to see that bed cradling the one person he managed to save five days ago. Once again, he didn't get a choice. The nurse gently grasped his arm and started leading him towards the nurse's station. He barely registered the walk until she was guiding him to sit on one of the rolling chairs at the desk. She took the other, her fingers clacking against a keyboard.
Another waiting game. Patience was a virtue that he knew would be useful in the police force, but his was quickly wearing thin. Especially after the race against the clock he and Bryan faced with Bryan's infection. His leg bounced as he watched her type, clicking the left mouse button.
"His name was Bryan you said?"
"Yes."
"I've got two on file for quarantine. Do you have a last name?"
Leon opened his mouth to reply before he paused. Bryan never gave him a last name. All the information he willingly gave regarding his home situation and his girlfriend, and he didn't give Leon a last name to work with.
"N-No," he said hesitantly. "If you have a picture, I can identify that way."
The nurse turned the monitor.
"On the left."
"Okay. Bryan Hodukavich. Let's see where you went."
Huh. An interesting last name for an interesting guy. He wondered where the name came from, the history behind it.
"Looks like he was taken for some MRIs. Nothing bad. He should be back in a few minutes."
Leon slumped in relief. "Can I see him when he gets back?"
The nurse spun in her chair, brows lowering with blatant suspicion. "Now, where'd you come from?"
"Floor below."
"What makes you want to visit our friend Bryan?"
"We went through a lot together. I just need to know he's okay."
"I'm not sure you can stay long. Visiting hours are running short and the visiting hours for quarantine are even more strict."
Leon wanted to scream. "Can you make an exception?"
"No. I'd take what you can get. It's not much but we have to maintain policy."
"I understand," he grumbled.
The nurse huffed, leaning back to stare at the ceiling. "I'm not his primary nurse, but every time I've passed by his room, he's looked so sad. Or angry. Maybe a visit from his friend would do him some good."
Leon could only imagine what Bryan was thinking about. It could be anything: the city, Michelle, the gore, the little girl. Him. He doubted that, but there was a slim possibility if what Dr. Harris told him was true. How they reached for one another like rabid people on a mission.
"Alright, come on. Let's go surprise your boy."
Leon didn't say the snarky remark that came to his tongue. He just got to his feet and followed the nurse back down the hall. Thankfully, she walked at a slower pace. Even though he knew where he was going, he didn't want it to be an awkward moment where she out paced him and had to wait for him to hobble to the crossroads.
She let him into Bryan's room.
"Aren't I supposed to be wearing a hazmat suit or something?" he asked as he stepped inside.
"Bryan's file said he was clean of any known viruses and illnesses. Hell, he's clean of everything we expected to see," she said. "And we've tested him for everything. The National Guard asked for our reports and even they seemed in disbelief."
Why? They saw the empty syringe. He's cured.
Maybe they thought it didn't work. At least not fully.
The nurse's head whipped to the left. "Looks like he's coming back. I'll leave you to it."
Leon's heart was suddenly in his throat watching her walk away.
What would he say to Bryan?
What would Bryan say to him?
He had to choose his words carefully, right? He had some time to think about everything, all the things he said and all the things he wanted to say, how he felt, and yet not a single thought came to mind. The nurse left the door ajar, allowing him to hear two sets of footsteps coming down the hall. His hands suddenly felt clammy. His heart raced. He wanted to bounce his leg but he was standing. His toes rose and fell instead.
He saw another nurse walk into the room, his brow raised. He didn't question Leon's presence, though, probably because he saw the other nurse in the hall.
And behind him—
His favorite shade of brown.
Both eyes. Not just one. Both eyes were back and trained on him. It made the world stop. It was nice for once. Not feeling the world ticking by as you do nothing but lie in bed wallowing in grief and agony. It was so nice to feel the weight suddenly drop from his chest at the sight of Bryan standing, alive, looking at him with surprise.
His skin was colorful again. Light pink dusted his cheeks, like just walking down the hall was enough excerise to make him drag his feet with exhaustion. There was still a faint red line on the corner of his mouth, though it looked more like a rash than an actual wound or scar. His hair was frizzy. A bit thicker now that it had been washed properly and dried. Another comforting shade of brown that matched his eyes. He still had slightly red lips where he'd been gnawing on them.
They had him wearing a similar gown to Leon. Simple light mint color with dozens of tiny gray dots. Kind of an eyesore on anyone whose name wasn't Bryan.
He was staring. Unmoving. And Leon stared back.
Say something you idiot!
Leon opened his mouth, but before any words could come out, Bryan moved.
A body crashed into him, arms wrapping around his middle and squeezing. Leon couldn't hold back a wheeze as the air was forced out of him. He ignored the stinging pain and returned the embrace, their bodies swaying slightly from side to side.
The warmth he felt in the garage was back. The comforting weight of Bryan against him was back. He could feel him breathing, his muscles moving. He was alive and he could feel it. It sent all the raging doubts in his brain to the bench for good because he was here, alive, hugging Leon and silently saying all the things Leon had been thinking over the past three days.
I was so worried about you.
I wanted to see you.
I missed you.
Thank God you're still here.
Don't leave again.
He wanted to verbally express it but he deemed it redundant. The hug was enough to say it all.
"Uhhh, I'll uh… be back to check on you later, okay?" the nurse said awkwardly. When Bryan didn't respond, he made a quick exit.
He didn't know how long they stayed in the embrace for. It was definitely longer than a typical hug, which made all sorts of thoughts and hopes appear in Leon's head that he quickly stomped down. Bryan hugged him for this long because he was worried. Nothing else. Stop making something out of nothing.
"They wouldn't tell me anything about you," Bryan whispered.
A crackling voice, likely from not being used. Had he gone mute for five days? Surely not since he had an active file here; he had to tell them something about himself, about what happened so he could receive care. Leon could feel Bryan's hands clawing at the back of his gown, the man's index fingers accidentally scraping against his bare back where the gown split. Pressing impossibly closer.
"I tried everything. Even staged a prison break to see if the cop would come running to get me but you didn't. And they didn't—" he cut himself off with a sharp exhale "—let me know if you were… If I actually…"
Killed you. If I actually killed you.
Right. Bryan's mutant form was the thing that broke his ribs and punctured his lung. Surprisingly, it wasn't a deep puncture, which was why he could still talk with Bryan before the National Guard took over. But really, he understood the staff had received orders from the guard to separate them but they seriously couldn't just talk to Bryan? Let him not drive himself mad thinking he killed Leon? Especially since the last time Bryan saw him was when he was being wheeled of to a different ward for treatment, half-conscious.
"I'm not dead. Obviously. Gonna take a lot more than that to get me six feet under," Leon said. His hands rested on Bryan's back, slowly moving back and forth.
Bryan quickly retreated from the embrace, alarm in his eyes. "Oh shit, your ribs, I'm sorry—"
"It's fine. They're not that bad."
They were that bad. It took every ounce of training in him to play it cool and not let his expression shift into one of burning agony. He didn't do a good enough job. Bryan gave him a look.
"What? Really, I feel like a million bucks." He watched Bryan's eyes look him over. The silence was making the ringing in his unbearable. "They wouldn't tell me about you, either. Kept me locked up downstairs. I visited once when my doctor came to check on me but she hasn't come by since. I would've been here if she stopped by to get me."
Bryan frowned. He shook his head and grabbed Leon's arm, gently guiding him so they could sit on the twin size bed. The man never went far. Their legs were pressed from hip to ankle. Bryan's hand moved down to rest on his forearm. The skin tangled and burned and Leon missed the touch oh so desperately.
"When did you visit?" the man beside him asked quietly.
It almost sounded like a question of betrayal. Like "why didn't you come when I was awake?" As if Leon had a choice of when he woke up.
"Three days ago. Woke up, doctor checked on me, asked me some questions, and I managed to convince her to let me see you. You were asleep."
"You woke up three days ago."
"Yeah. Slept for two, apparently. Never been asleep for that long," Leon chuckled humorlessly.
Bryan's hand squeezed his arm, his eyes still looking Leon over as if there were wounds opening on his skin left and right from a monster that didn't exist anymore.
"Stop that," Leon chided with a lopsided smile. "It's not your fault."
"It is—"
"No it's not."
"I nearly killed you. I killed all those people. That little girl—"
"I pulled the trigger, too, remember? I'm just as guilty as you are but it was self defense."
Still, there was conflict in those cocoa eyes. A deciding game, trying to find a way to explain why something that was completely out of his control was his fault. Leon wouldn't stand for it. There was enough trauma from the sight of gore alone to give them both a lifetime of nightmares to run from. Bryan didn't need to tack on the responsibility of all of those lives when it wasn't him who dropped the first vial of the cure, when it wasn't him who started the outbreak.
Leon brought his right hand over to sit atop Bryan's. "It was not your fault, okay? None of it. It was Umbrella and their stupid viruses who killed all those people. You are a victim, not a perpetrator. Not even an agent dealing their dirty work. You hear me?"
"Yeah," he breathed; the conflict in his eyes lessened, his gaze fixed on their hands.
"I nearly died a lot, not just from your… your mutation. If it's anyone's fault, it's mine for not injecting you with the cure as soon as I got my hands on it."
At that, Bryan's head snapped up.
"Huh? Your fault?"
"Yeah, that's what I just said."
"How could that possibly be your fault?"
"I didn't give you the cure until the sky bridge. I could have when I got it in the lab."
"Yeah but that doesn't mean my actions are your fault."
"The only reason you were acting that way was because of the infection and I could've stopped it—"
"No, no. No. It was too risky. If you got too close I could have diced you into a million teeny Leons." Bryan hid his face in his free hand, and Leon could suddenly see just how exhausted he looked. He had eye bags back in the city but now they seemed more prominent, like someone rubbed their thumbs on graphite and smeared it under his eyes. He slowly shook his head. "We can throw blame around all we want but it's dumb because we both know who's really at fault here."
"Okay, so stop blaming yourself."
"I'll do that when you do it. Which might take a while since you have a severe case of hero complex. Can't save everyone, rookie."
Leon swallowed. Bryan's hold suddenly felt ten times heavier with the weight of those he failed behind them. "I know," he managed thickly.
Bryan looked at him again. A prolonged stare. He could read a dozen apologies in them. Of course, Bryan wouldn't be the one to break the suddenly charged silence. Not when there were dozens of deaths still fresh on their minds.
Typically, Leon was the kind of guy that didn't mind the quiet. It was nice to sometimes have nights with his ex where they rested on the couch with some drama TV on in the background, each of them dedicating the hours of unwinding to their hobbies. His ex did cross-stitching. She made such beautiful and intricate pieces that she'd show off proudly with a grin. Leon's hobby consisted of reading about all sorts of cases online, trying to gather a better understanding of what he was about to throw himself into once he got onto the force.
The silence here was both deafening and damning, because with the shift in the air, Leon knew exactly what had crossed Bryan's mind.
The untimely confession. The slightly delirious Leon saying that he didn't know what he felt exactly but he knew it wasn't the normal, platonic kind of love; and then there was Bryan and his response to that.
"Is it… is it wrong of me to think that I want you to come home with me?"
Just what did he mean by that? In what context?
He said he wouldn't feel normal ever again which was completely understandable. Leon wouldn't, either. The rookie that was excited and nervous to step foot in the doors of the RPD was gone, leaving an empty shell behind for him to attempt and fill with shards of who he used to be.
It was the way Bryan said it that got Leon thinking so much about that specific sentence. Leon remembered vividly despite his rugged state at the time. He remembered how Bryan's eyes didn't meet his until after he said it, how his voice was small yet sure in what he was relaying. He distinctly remembered how Bryan's hands held him carefully so as to not hurt him further and how his forehead pressed against Leon's in the same gentle manner. There was something about the interaction that lit the bulb in Leon's brain, screaming at him that it wasn't as platonic as he deemed it to be when he mulled it over for hours the other day.
Especially what he said about coming home with him.
What about Michelle? Bryan had her. Leon didn't have anyone back home. He entertained the idea that Bryan wanted him to come back with him to meet his girlfriend and act as a backup when he tried to explain the horrors of what happened that night. Leon would testify with him, of course, especially if it meant saving their relationship that seemed to be on the rocks with Bryan's fear of stepping into a change he wasn't ready for.
He was ready now, though. He'd said it in the garage.
Maybe he just wanted Leon to hang by for a few days. Make sure that no monsters were coming after them before parting ways with an awkward smile and promise to keep in touch that would break within the first month of being apart. It wouldn't matter who would stop talking first. Leon knew what lied ahead of him and it was looking like a few more nights with his buddies Jack Daniels and Deep Eddy.
Bryan's hand on his arm felt like fire running up his left side. Damning. Damn Leon's heart for reaching for something it couldn't have and fucking everything up. The big, gold heart that his superiors said would get him far.
"Are we gonna address the elephant in the room?" Bryan asked carefully, ending the question with a hesitant chuckle. "I know you're thinking about it, too."
He had two choices here. Leon could either a) double down on what he said and, you know, speak openly about his feelings that he could no longer deny didn't exist. Or, he could b) continue to try and deny they exist even after he rambled about how he didn't know if they were platonic or not to the man in question on the sky bridge. Hmmm… decisions decisions.
"I don't know—" he tried.
"Don't give me that, you were fully awake when you said it."
"But I didn't outwardly say it—"
"You implied it which counts—"
"—and since I didn't say it, we don't have to talk about it and we can instead focus on getting out of here and getting you home."
Bryan scoffed with an eye roll. "Fuck you, man."
"Huh?" Leon blinked.
"Fuck you. What, you think you're gonna die so you say it and then when everything's fine you can't admit it to yourself? I told you what you feel… whatever it is, it's not wrong. It's just… a little bit complicated. And that's okay."
"It's not. You know why it's not and you still think it's fine."
"Yeah, because I'm not one to deny what I feel," Bryan argued. His grip on Leon's arm tightened, as if he were afraid he would run again.
Brown eyes dug into him. Strong, unwavering.
I'm not one to deny what I feel.
Leon let himself mull over the statement for a moment. What he feels. The intense stare, the strong touch, the subtle fear hiding behind the sparkles in his eyes.
No. No way.
"No," he said. "No, no you don't. You don't."
"Oh, but I do. It wasn't that hard." Bryan's throat bobbed when he swallowed. "You made it easy."
"You can't—"
"Why? Because I have a girlfriend at home that probably hates my guts and thinks I'm dead after the last voicemail I left her?"
"Exactly! You need to go back and talk with her."
"And I will, but I'm not letting you go again. I can't, Leon. You don't know what… what it felt like in the lab."
In the lab? When he was mutating? Of course Leon didn't know, he wasn't infected. As much as he wanted to say that and bring back the sarcastic humor to lighten the mood, he knew if he did it then it would be the wrong move and only make Bryan even more upset. Now was not the time to try and be funny, not with such serious topics spewing from their mouths, and not when Bryan scooted closer so their sides were pressed together from shoulder to ankle.
All Leon could do was watch Bryan shake his head, try and gather the courage to speak. Another beat of silence that made Leon wish that he hadn't made things so complicated by refusing to hide his feelings.
On the other hand, he wouldn't have been able to be this close if he kept it to himself. Though, he figured, Bryan would want to stick close anyway. They were seemingly the only survivors of the city, and after such a horrific time during the night, they both needed a bit of comfort that only the other could provide. No one else would understand. Not completely.
"When I was changing, it was like I was being forced out of my head," Bryan began with a haunted look in his eyes. Leon squeezed his hand. "I could see what was happening but it was like it wasn't registering right away. I saw all those scientists, and each time I… ate one… it was like I kept losing a chunk of myself. I felt less and less in control. It was harder to talk but easier to see."
He had three new eyeballs to thank for that.
"All I kept thinking was that you'd get me out of there. You'd somehow find the cure and give it to me. Not just because you promised me but because that's the kind of guy you are. You help people who can't help themselves. It's… it's really fucking amazing honestly that you had enough patience to deal with me throughout the night."
"You made it easy," Leon quoted with a shrug, unable to stop his lips from tugging up into a small smirk that earned him a chuckle. And a bump of the shoulder. He took it as a win even though the temperature in the room seemed to drop with Bryan reigning himself in.
"It gets a little fuzzy after the third scientist, but I remember seeing you run away after the redhead. I remember feeling so… mad. Not entirely. It was like a mix of anger and sadness because I felt like you were leaving me even though you promised me you wouldn't. Now I sound like the little kid," Bryan sighed, his shoulders slumping. "But I knew I had to catch up to you because you'd help me. It was like the last thread I kept hold of. I could feel myself slipping on the sky bridge. If you were even a second or two late to injecting me then… I probably would've killed you."
"Well it's a good thing I don't have butterfingers then."
"Why do I like you again?"
"I have no clue. You probably shouldn't." Leon took a deep breath, trying to dissect the information Bryan gave while also trying to formulate a decent response. The breathing struggled to calm his racing heart.
"But I do like you. For some reason. And don't start on the whole you have a kid on the way argument because I have a feeling Michelle's gonna break up with me for ditching her. But she's not heartless. If she does keep the kid, I'll definitely be able to visit and be an active parent."
"That's a what-if scenario."
Bryan huffed, turning so he was sitting facing Leon head-on, his right leg curled up to where his shin pressed against Leon's thigh.
"Leon, you're too good of a guy sometimes and it's really getting in the way of what you and I both want."
"Are you sure it's not just because we both went through the same things? That it's not some trauma bond messing with our heads?"
"I'm a hundred-percent sure it's messing with our heads but I don't have room in there to care about that. I meant what I said. I don't want you to run again. I don't want to be separated. Shit, every time I can't see you I think I killed you for real. I can't stand feeling like that all the time," Bryan said insistently.
To Leon's surprise, the man detangled their hands and brought them up to frame his face. He wasn't as gentle as he was on the sky bridge. He held him like he was trying to emphasize that Leon was thinking too much, being a dumbass. He felt like a cell under a microscope with how close Bryan inspected him.
"From what you said, you feel something similar, too. Don't you feel it? That fear."
Leon's mouth felt like sandpaper, and yet he wanted to scrape his tongue to respond because yes. Yes yes yes, that fear gripped him every minute he wasn't near Bryan. If he were more willing to see their situation for the big, complicated picture it was, he would take the time to acknowledge how strange their relationship was and how unhealthy it was for them to be so co-dependent after knowing each other for eight hours total. He just couldn't find it in himself to care too much about the no doubt unhealthy psychology behind their clinginess to one another because it was nice.
Leon managed to save one person. He did his job. Bryan was living proof of that. At the same time, Leon found someone who slid into his chest with ease. Someone he didn't know very well but knew enough about to where he wanted to stick close. He knew enough about Bryan to understand the fear in his chest throughout the night in question was partially belonging to the monsters they faced, and the other forty percent belonged to the idea of Bryan—the one who had been with him since the start of the night—becoming fodder for the infected. Or worse, one of them.
His fear came true but he managed to reverse it, and now there came a new fear—one that involved distance that he couldn't handle in his broken state of mind, still clinging to remnants of the cop he had strove to be. And here Bryan was, close enough where Leon could see his individual eyelashes and where he had been gnawing on his lips, the spots a dark red against a canvas of plush pink; he was in close proximity, eliminating that fear for the first time in days since Leon last saw him.
"I know you would too even if you didn't say it. You can't really hide. Your eyes give you away. You've barely scanned the room like cops usually do." Bryan's lips quirked up a little. A small thing. If Leon blinked, he would've missed it. "It's the fear and the rookie's little crush working together. Looking at me. Lucky me."
Leon felt like he was back in that moment in the elevator shaft, his heart hammering in his chest and his body on fire as it tried to work to keep him alive. There was no danger here in the hospital other than Bryan's lethal words and Bryan as a whole that threatened to consume Leon's every waking moment. Though it wasn't much of a threat when he'd already won.
One thing's for certain. He couldn't handle the proximity, the words, the implication all combining to form a hurricane inside of him that couldn't be quelled anymore no matter how many times he threw he has a girlfriend at it. He was slipping away from reality and into the little dugout Bryan made for them. Just them. Two survivors who couldn't fathom coping with the horrors without clinging to one another.
Except it wasn't just that fact. It was a multitude of things. Leon liked Bryan's physical appearance. His eyes, specifically, but he was just cute in an odd grown adult man that looks like a shaggy dog kind of way. Leon liked his personality which, at times, mirrored his own. He liked the sarcasm and the jokes, the determination and kindness behind his actions. There were legitimate reasons for Leon to like Bryan, all valid in his heart that sang whenever Bryan was close to touch.
In Leon's retreat into his mind, he barely registered how close Bryan was until their noses brushed. It almost felt normal after how much they invaded each other's space five days ago, but the breath fanning his lips brought him back to reality with a blink.
"You can't stand it, either," Bryan muttered between them, "the burn. The itch. It's always there and will always be there—"
"Until I see you," Leon finished for him. The smile he was rewarded with was worth the sanity he lost trying to justify his feelings. He didn't need to do any of that because Bryan was right; it was okay. It was normal.
He didn't know how or when the distance became nonexistent, or who closed it for that matter, but he didn't care. He allowed his eyelids to flutter shut and for Bryan's hand to move to the back of his head, his fingers threading through thin strands. He even gave a little scratch that had Leon's knees weak even though he was sitting.
He didn't know what he expected. He didn't really have time to think about kissing Bryan when they were running for their lives and trying to deliver the cure. So the slightly chapped and rugged lips took him a moment to register completely, but when he did, he loved the feeling of them pressed against his own cracked lips that he'd been worrying the last three days.
Dare he say the kiss—if you'd even call it that—was experimental. A test of the waters, a simple press that lasted seconds and made all the hesitance clinging to Leon fall away. It made the warmth between them that much more sweet and intimate somehow.
No shit, you just kissed him after talking about feeling kind of crazy about one another.
He slowly peeled his eyes open to find Bryan already staring back at him like always. He could see no hesitance or shame in those eyes. In the back of Leon's head, he said he was helping Bryan cheat on Michelle. They were still officially boyfriend-girlfriend and he just kissed him.
Did this make him a homewrecker?
Did he even care if that was the case?
At the moment, he didn't care. All he cared about were Bryan's half-lidded eyes and enlarged pupils, his saliva-slick lips that he wanted to feel again and again, his hands cradling his face that he wanted to stay there for as long as they were allowed in this prison of a hospital.
No words were exchanged, just a simple glance, and they pressed forward again. It wasn't like those moments on TV where the characters share one heat-of-the-moment kiss and suddenly go crazy and fall into bed. This felt natural and right, taking slow brushes, savoring the feeling of one another's lips when they didn't think they'd get to share this five days ago.
It was a thank you, an apology, everything they ever felt about each other since they first met in that farmhouse. And yet it never got out of hand. They moved lazily together but it was theirs and that's all he could ask for after nearly losing him. He almost felt like a teenager again, sneaking behind the bleachers to steal a kiss or two and the sudden exhilarating rush of almost getting caught making his heart hammer against his ribcage.
Pulling apart for air was, unfortunately, necessary for his still tender ribcage and previously punctured lung. He rubbed a hand over the bruised skin with a slight grimace. He felt Bryan's hand move to the back of his neck, the other still holding his jaw and stroking his cheek.
"Sorry, you okay? Does it hurt?"
"You didn't hurt me. It just hurts in general." Leon met his eye again. "Wanna kiss it better?"
"I just might."
"Keeps the doctor away, or something."
"That's an apple, you idiot."
"Same difference."
Bryan laughed. "Are you comparing me to a fruit?"
"Apples are nice. Their skin's pretty—" he said as he raised his hand to rest on Bryan's arm, feeling his soft skin "—and they taste real sweet. They're juicy, too—"
"Okay, enough about the apples, I get it. I'm juicy."
That drew a laugh out of Leon that left him grimacing again, though he felt a million times lighter after the events of the last ten minutes. Even if they didn't truly acknowledge what happened to them, what they were forced to do to maintain survival, they had one another to rely on. For now, that was everything they needed. Later, though, if they somehow acquire a sum of money from the government who would no doubt try and make what happened all hush-hush, Leon may just bite the bullet and enroll them in therapy. Shit, they'd probably have to hire someone from the government for that since Raccoon City's confidential.
Leon knew it wasn't healthy to brush off the trauma in favor of clinging to each other, but he was too exhausted to try and unpack all of it right now. All he wanted was to sit there together, preferably in an embrace where he could feel Bryan's heart beating strong.
Of course, that was when the nurses decided to show up.
"Alright, bedtime for the both of you," the nurse Leon met earlier announced.
"Oh, yes, I'm so tired. But since I'm so tired, and my room's a long walk away, can't I just—" Leon tried.
"No," the other nurse said with a grin. "Nice try. I applaud your effort but you both need rest to heal those wounds."
"I would argue we'd heal better if we were together," Bryan said with a playful shrug.
"We can discuss adjoining rooms later. Bedtime."
"But we only have, like, what, two more days before we can be discharged?" Leon said.
Bryan leaned close to his ear. Lips brushing the shell of it. "Turn up the puppy dog eyes, come on. You've almost got them."
He didn't know if the seasoned nurses would be swayed by his pathetic attempt at trying to convince them, but he tried anyway with Bryan snickering into his shoulder the whole time. Leon let his eyes widen slightly as he looked between the nurses, trying to channel an accurate lost expression. It was surprisingly easy.
"Can't I just stay here since our time here's almost over?"
The female nurse raised a brow. "No. Doctor's orders. You're going back to your room, Mr. Kennedy, and you're gonna stop bothering your nurses and running from them."
"On the contrary, I think he will. You haven't met this guy, he's very stubborn," Bryan said, giving his hand one last squeeze before letting him go. "It's the cop in him."
The room was colder without their proximity.
"Even cops need to rest a case," the male nurse said with a pointed look.
"Come on, I'll help you get back," the female nurse coaxed.
Leon huffed and staggered to his feet, feeling Bryan's hand against his back, helping keep him steady. He hesitantly started towards the door.
"Alright, Mr. Hodukavich, how are we feeling?"
"Truly outstanding, doc. Like I could run a marathon, or take an elevator down one floor—"
Leon laughed as the nurses said something to him about staying put to recover. He reached the doorframe, grasping it for support. He paused, glancing at Bryan one more time. Eyes raking over him just to be sure. No blemishes. Just a few bruises and some bandages for his forearm where he was bitten. A little bruised but alive. Looking back at him with a dopey smile and bright eyes.
"Alright, lover-boy, into the hallway. Let's go." The female nurse ushered him outside. She stuck close to his side as they slowly passed Bryan's room, taking a right and heading down the hall to the elevator. "You'll be able to see him tomorrow."
"Promise?"
"Yup."
He had a feeling she was just saying that to say it. Still, it gave him something to cling onto when Bryan wasn't in sight.
They had a lot to work out together, and Leon knew it wouldn't be easy to hash everything out, but for now they could let it fall on the back burner in favor of sharing each other's company. Savoring the fact that they both made it out against all odds, the fact that they can sit together and hear each other's voices and drown out the screams and gore that prodded at their minds at every waking moment. It definitely wasn't a healthy temporary solution, but they needed it and it worked for them. Wasn't that all that mattered?
Whatever may come next, Leon knew he'd be fine as long as he could keep the one person he saved tucked to his side. There would be no running from each other. Just company, just them. No one else would understand and that made what they had unmistakably theirs, and for some fucked up reason, that made it even more perfect.
He went right to sleep so the next day would come faster, flashes of coy smiles and brown eyes keeping him sane in his dreams. Raccoon City definitely fucked them both up, but like always, they were in this together through thick and thin. Leon couldn't wait until the next day to let the burn settle again under Bryan's touch.