Chapter Text
The Seelie Queen slipped the single flower into Magnus' jacket pocket and looked up into Magnus' eyes.
"Let me ask you one question Mr Bane, do you really think when it comes down to it in this war that Mr Lightwood,
the Head of the New York Institute will choose the Downworlders over the Shadowhunter."
"Alec loves me" Magnus said with conviction.
"That's not what I asked you and you know it."
Magnus opened his mouth, hesitated and closed his mouth again.
"Exactly, Alec is a Shadowhunter, his sister is a Shadowhunter, his brother a Shadowhunter, his parents, Shadowhunters, all
of his friends are Shadowhunters, there is only one anomaly here Magnus."
Magnus looked over to Luke who gave him a sad look, he knew what it was like to be abandoned by his kind once he became
a Downworlder, surely Alec was different, he had said so many times.
"Now with the soul sword out there in the hands of a psychopath I'd be careful who you share your bed with Magnus, the danger
might be closer than you think."
Magnus and Luke both snapped back to look at the Seelie Queen.
"The soul sword? No, the Clave has it, I asked them to destroy it and they said no" Luke just about shouted.
"So naive, so trusting, that's what they want the Downworlders to believe, there's no real risk in it for them, the soul sword can't
kill a Shadowhunter" the Queen then turned around and walked away.
"Magnus did you know they didn't have it."
Magnus was lost in his own thoughts, did Alec know this, why didn't he tell him, Magnus had asked Alec about the soul sword just this
morning and he had said they didn't know.
"MAGNUS"
Magnus looked up at Luke
"Did you know"
Magnus lowered his eyes again, "no, no I didn't" he whispered, "we have to go."
Magnus spun around, opened a portal and stepped through it.
Once he had sent Luke back to his place, Magnus portalled himself back to his loft, and he began pacing back and forth in the entrance. He wanted to talk to Alec, ask him why he lied, but he also wanted to believe in him and trust that he didn’t know, but surely as the head of the Institute he would have to know, Seelie’s can’t lie but she never specifically said Alec knew, maybe it was fine, maybe Alec did trust him and just was being kept in the dark as much as he was.
His front door opening interrupted Magnus’ inner monologue and he stopped pacing and looked over to see Alec walking in and closing the door behind him.
“Magnus” Alec said softly and smiled at him.
Magnus struggled to smile back, so he just lifted his hand and waved.
Alec furrowed his brow and walked over, “Magnus what’s wrong?”
Alec went to place a hand on Magnus’ chest but once his hand made contact Magnus put his hands up and took a step back, out of reach of Alec.
“Please, just, don’t” Magnus turned around and walked into the sitting area.
Alec slowly followed and then walked around Magnus to stand facing him and ducked his head to look into Magnus’ eyes. “Is this about your memories.”
Magnus’ eyes jumped up to meet Alec’s, “no” Magnus snapped. “I just got back from the Seelie Realm and was told of some interesting information.
Alec took half a step back, “oh” he muttered.
No, surely not, it was like Alec already knew what Magnus was going to say, he felt his heart break a little as he steeled himself to have this conversation.
“The Seelie Queen mentioned the soul word.”
The second Magnus mentioned the sword Alec’s eyes went down, he seemed to shrink in on himself and he took another step back, Magnus knew it was all over. He took a deep breath and said as calmly as he could manage, “ah, so did you know.”
Alec looked back up, with a panicked look in his eyes and waving hands as he spoke. “Look Magnus, I’m sorry, okay, so sorry, my dad told me yesterday, but he told me not to tell anyone as it was a risk to my title and a risk to the Clave, I wanted to tell you, I really did.”
“Did you tell Isabelle?”
“What?”
“I said, did you tell Isabelle, or Jace even, or did you keep it to yourself?”
“Um, I, uh, I told Izzy, but what does..”
“Okay so you were told not to tell anyone so did anyway, and when I spoke to you this morning and asked you about the sword you straight out looked into my eyes and lied to me.”
“What, Magnus, no, it’s not like that, I, Izzy’s my sister, it’s different, she’s a Shadowhunter!”
Magnus’ eyes flashed, showing his cat eyes with rage in them, because that was it wasn't it, the reason this was all happening, Magnus wasn't a Shadowhunter,
“I need you to leave.”
“MAGNUS PLEASE” Alec was just about screaming at this point.
“No, Alec, I can’t do this.”
“This? What this? Us this? Magnus please, I made a mistake.”
“Do you know how many times we’ve had this conversation Alec, about you following the Clave orders and always choosing them over me, I can barely keep up with the apologise at this point.”
“No!? I’m not choosing them over you? Why would you think that?”
“Seelie’s can’t lie Alexander.”
Alec looked confused for a moment, “what did the Seelie Queen say? Is he putting these doubts in your head? Magnus it doesn’t have to be an us and them situation, Downworlders and Shadowhunters! We can work together I know we it, we just have to believe that.”
“Alec, you hid something from me, something I might add that threatens the lives of all my friends and me, you are literally keeping information from me that could end my life, do you realise that.”
Alec opened and closed his mouth not knowing what to say, he hadn’t thought about it like that, why hadn’t he thought about it like that, of course this was important to Magnus.
Magnus waved his hand and opened his front door, “now please, leave, I need some time to think.”
Alec’s shoulders fell and he gave up, “fine Magnus, I’ll go but please, I love you” and he walked towards the door, looked back at Magnus for a second and Magnus closed the door behind him.
Magnus fell back into his chair, dropped his head into his hands and screamed.
“WHY DOES THIS HAVE TO KEEP HAPPENING TO ME” Magnus looked up at the roof and took a deep breath, opening and closing his hands trying to get a hold on himself. He knew he was going to forgive Alexander, he could see it in the boys face that he regretted it, he just wished they didn’t have to fight every time it came to the Clave and the Shadowhunters, he wanted, just once for Alec to choose him and be honest with him over them.
Just as Magnus was getting up to get himself a drink he heard a knock at the door, taking a deep breath, and straightening his shoulders he walked over to the door, Alexander and him can talk this out and move on, he hated arguing with him.
As Magnus opened the door he came face to face with a warlock he didn’t recognise, in his surprise he was unprepared when the man threw a ball of magic at Magnus which sent him flying back into his loft.
Magnus hit ground hard, and after quickly catching his breath, he jumped back to his feet with his hands out in front of him, magic burning, ready to strike.
“Magnus Bane, I have a proposition for you.”
“Not really the way I’m used to being propositioned.”
“Sorry, I’ve always been one for theatrics, I thought you of all people could appreciate that.”
Magnus rolled his eyes, “who are you?”
“My name is Theodore, I’m from Brooklyn as well, normally keep a low profile, try to keep out of it all.”
“Why change that now?” Magnus asked, and lowered his hands slightly.
“Rumour has it, Shadowhunters are keeping things from us, soul sword things from us, rumour also has it you’re dating the head of the New York institute, a Shadowhunter of all people.”
Magnus clenched his teeth, he really didn’t want to deal with this on top of everything else today, “and what exactly does that have to do with you” Magnus said with venom in his voice.
“Well my High Warlock, the rest of us have been talking and it seems like many are losing faith in your abilities, and your loyalty.”
“I can assure you I am plenty capable of performing my duties as High Warlock.”
“That’s not where the worry comes, we know if push came to shove, you would choose your dear boyfriend over us, and that doesn’t bode us with a lot of confidence in our protection.”
“How could you possibly know who I would choose, and we aren’t going to war.”
“Wake up Magnus, we’re in a war and you need to pick a side.”
Magnus took a breath, why was this happening, “what exactly are you asking of me.”
“We want you to break up with the Lightwood boy, show us that you are a man of your word and be the Warlock we all thought you were, you don’t have to fight him, you don’t even have to fight any of them, but be on our side.”
Magnus’ heart skipped a beat and he hiccupped as he breathed in, “what would breaking up with him achieve exactly, I am on your side, I am a warlock in case you’ve forgotten! And you can’t tell me what to do”
“I thought you might say that, so I’ll make it quite simply for you, break up with the boy, or I’ll kill him, simple as that.”
Magnus’ jaw dropped, “you would never, I would kill you, the Clave would kill you.”
Theodore made his way slowly over to Magnus, “but that’s the thing Magnus, I don’t care, I’m not of any great importance to the war, I’m here to deliver a message, and if that message involves the end of my life, then so be it, at least your alliance will be over, you’ve got two hours to make it happen Magnus, the Lightwood boy is still outside your loft, it would take but the snap of my fingers.”
Magnus spun around and looked out the balcony and saw that Theodore was right, Alec was pacing back and forth in the park across from Magnus’ loft, clearly caught up in his own thoughts.
Magnus closed his eyes, he didn’t want to do this, what was he supposed to do, how did a Nephilim cause so much chaos is such little time, was Magnus ever going to be able to be with the person he loves.
Magnus turned around, opening his mouth to speak, but Theodore was gone, leaving his front door wide open.
Magnus began pacing again, he couldn’t do this, he couldn’t, what was he going to do.
Again there was a knock at Magnus’ open door, Magnus spun around, feeling out of control “WHAT!?” he screamed.
As Magnus locked eyes with a shocked Alexander who was now standing with wide eyes and a dropped jaw.
Magnus froze, and began shaking his head, no, this wasn’t happening, he wasn’t ready, he couldn’t do this right now.
Magnus didn’t noticed Alec had walked up to him until he felt his hands on his biceps, “Magnus, what’s happening? Magnus, I’m so sorry, please let me apologise to you, let me explain everything, I rang my dad told him I was going to tell you everything and that there would be no more secrets between us, please Magnus.”
Magnus stopped shaking his head and looked up at Alec’s face, and noticed his eyes were red and watery, like he’d been crying, Magnus felt like his throat was closing up, he couldn’t breathe, it was like there was no air going into his lungs and he felt like he was going to faint, he was pretty sure he was shaking too, but maybe that was Alec shaking, he didn’t even know anymore, as he spoke, it didn’t even sound like him, “Alec it’s too late, you need to go, and not come back here.”
Magnus heard Alec gasp, “no, Magnus, don’t do this, I love you, we can fix this.”
Magnus was staring straight ahead, focusing on nothing even though he knew Alec was right in front of him, “there’s nothing to fix Alec, this was never going to work, Shadowhunter, Downworlder, different worlds, different centuries remember.”
“M-m-m-Magnus, come on, don’t, I’m sorry I’ve ruined this so much, I’m so sorry, I’ll do whatever I have to, I’ll make my father leave, I’ll step down from the head of the Institute, just tell me what I have to do to make this better.”
“There’s nothing you can do, I will see you at the next meeting Alec, as the High Warlock of Brooklyn and that’s it, it’s done.”
Alec took a deep breath, stood up straight, moved his hand up Magnus’ arm, over his neck and under his chin, before moving his face so that they were eye to eye, “Magnus, I love you, I know something is happening here and I know we can fix this, I know you love me too.”
Magnus clenched his fists as tight as he could, let his glamour fall showing his cat eyes and spoke with no emotion, “I don’t.”
Alec dropped his hands as if he had been burned and stepped back from Magnus, “w-what did you say?”
“I said I don’t”
“Magnus, WHAT ARE YOU DOING, fine, if this is what you want, say it, say you don’t love me, outright, into my eyes and I will go and you won’t see me again.”
Alec looked straight into Magnus’ eyes trying to see regret or guilt but all he saw was strength and emotionless power, “I don’t love you Alec.”
Alec felt like his heart had ripped in half, he couldn’t breathe, he couldn’t see, he was pretty sure he was crying at this point, he spun around as fast as he could and ran from Magnus’ loft, not paying attention to where he was going.
As soon as Alec was out the door Magnus fell to the floor on his knees and sobbed, it was as if he was dying, he screamed and screamed and wept as he slammed his fists into the floor until he drew blood, he stayed liked that for what felt like hours, until what felt like the end of time, and maybe it was, he couldn’t even tell anymore.