Chapter Text
October 30
“Yosuke!” Teddie gasps, placing one hand directly over his heart. If he has a heart. He doesn’t have bones so Yosuke isn’t sure if organs are much of a factor. “Do you really mean it? Do I get to come, too?”
“Yes, Ted,” he says, then rolls his eyes as the bear gasps again. “Yeah, you can come and be in the pageant, too. It’s… going to be something. Not fun, that’s for damn sure. But… something.”
Teddie’s excitement is greater than Yosuke had anticipated and he’s glad to run into Kanji just to have some sort of buffer.
“Why’s the bear here, Yosuke-senpai?” Kanji asks. There’s an air of defeat around him, casual, laying uneasily across his shoulders. He doesn't seem any more excited than Yosuke is about the upcoming contest.
Yosuke shrugs. “He was bored and wanted to come. I told him he could be in the pageant if he wanted.”
Kanji’s eyebrows shot up. They’re dark against his skin, which is washed out by the bleached blond of his hair. “You’re tellin’ me he wanted to be in the pageant? Like voluntarily?”
“Of course!” Teddie says, puffing out his chest and looking proud. “You might not understand, but a hot stud like me is obligated to share his beauty with the world!”
Kanji lowers his voice. “Does he know that he’ll be dressed up like a girl?”
“You know,” Yosuke says, shaking his head, “I really don’t think he’d care.”
“Huh.” Kanji looks at Teddie, wary but impressed. After another moment, just before Teddie’s beaming becomes insufferable, he clears his throat. “So… Where’re Yu-senpai and the girls? Supposed to be helpin’ us get ready, right?”
Yosuke’s shoulders tighten. “I don’t know,” he says. He’s been going out of his way not to know where Yu is.
“Well we got to go find them! I don’t have a clue how the hell I’m supposed to dress like a girl.” He shoves his hands in his pockets and mutters. “Ask me to make a dress, sure, but that don’t mean I know how to wear one…”
They wander around until they run into someone from the second years’ class who points them towards an empty classroom. The first pageant would be the one with the boys, and it’s getting close to starting time.
Chie sighs with relief when they come in. “There you are!” she says. “Geez, what are you doing? Come sit down, we have to get you ready!” Yu is already there, sitting in front of Yukiko, who’s pointing a make up brush at him like it’s a sword.
“What are you doing here, Teddie?” Yu asks. Yukiko frowns when he turns his head to look at them.
He jumps up and down, looking gleeful. “I’m going to compete, too, sensei!”
“Ahh. I see.” Yu nods, his expression growing stern. “I have a true competitor.”
Rise giggles and says “We’ll see about that! I think you’ll be super cute, senpai. You’ll probably win.” She winks.
“Hey!” Kanji says. He clenches one fist and looks angrily between the others. His face is flushed, his eyes growing brighter as he gets more and more flustered. Everyone pauses, wondering where he’s going with his sudden outburst. Naoto tugs at her cap and Kanji’s ears are scarlet. “I-I mean…” He swallows. “Well I don’t want to win or nothin’ I guess but you promised we’d all look pretty, too.”
Rise rolls her eyes and sighs. “Don’t worry Moronji,” she says, making a show of her exasperation. “I’ll make sure you look great.” She tilts her head and studies Kanji, her eyes narrowing. The tip of her tongue peeks out from between her lips. “But… it might take more work than I thought. Come on! We need to get started!” She grabs Kanji’s hand and tugs.
“H-hey,” he says. “What the hell are you doing?”
Rise just laughs. “Over here!” she trills, pulling Kanji off for some privacy. “Come on, Kanji, it’s time to make you gorgeous!”
Everyone watches them go out the door - Kanji somewhat begrudgingly. Chie taps her finger on her chin. “Hmm,” she says. “I wasn’t expecting Teddie here, but if he’s going to suffer with you guys I guess we need someone to help him, too. Sorry, Naoto, do you mind?”
Naoto, who is standing very close to the door with her hat pulled over her eyes, looks up suddenly, her body tight with surprise. “Um… m-me?” she asks. She visibly swallows. “I don’t know that I am the most… qualified, but I suppose I could - “
“Perfect!” Chie says. “Then we’ll leave Teddie to you.”
“Yes!” Teddie cheers, raising one arm up in a celebratory pump, then spinning in a quick, tight circle. “The Teddie-Naoto team will be unstoppable! We’ll win for sure.”
“Of course…” Naoto says, voice significantly absent of Teddie’s confidence.
He strikes a pose. “First!” he says, holding one imperious finger up in front of her. “We’ll need some dazzling make-up.”
“Y-yes, of course.” Naoto looks thoughtful and then says “I suppose I should go borrow a make-up kit from someone then.”
“The battle begins!”
Seeing that Teddie is taken care of, Chie turns her attention back to Yosuke. “Dazzling make-up, huh? For you, I’m thinking… false eyelashes!”
Yosuke swallows. His stomach swells with nervous energy and he can’t keep himself from looking over at Yu. He’s sitting calm in front of Yukiko as she studies his features. Yosuke can’t help but trace over them himself, following the sharp lines of Yu’s profile - from the hair hanging over his forehead to the softened pout of his mouth. Then Yukiko pulls out a bundle of clothing from the bag she’d brought and hands it to Yu. And Yosuke realizes that he needs to get away. Now.
“Chie!” he hisses, gesturing towards Yu. Both Yu and Yukiko look over to him and he turns away from them, tugging Chie with him. She scowls and pulls away, bumping him with her elbow. “Chie,” he says again, voice quieter, “I don’t… I mean, maybe we should go somewhere more private, too? Like if I have to… change and stuff?” And if Yu has to change... Yosuke thinks, torn between several warring feelings, all of which say it’s a bad idea to see Yu in any sort of undress. He does not want to be there. And he does want to be there, very much, and hates himself for it. It’s as if all the moments he’s ignored for weeks - months, perhaps - have come barrelling out of his subconscious at once. He can’t look at Yu without wanting him, so badly, so desperately - his whole body running on a strange, electric energy.
He tries to think with any kind of specificity, to pinpoint something - anything - that might focus, or even explain, his attraction, but.
It’s… the whole of him, Yosuke thinks, his mouth dry and his heart tripping over each beat. It’s all of him, everything, each little piece of him almost unbearably well-placed, fitted perfectly together with every other. It’s not just his eyes, or his laugh, or the way he listens, or the easy curve of his mouth - which, hell, Yosuke thinks desperately, maybe, maybe, his mouth most of all - it’s that everything together makes up a boy who’s so good and kind and yes, Yosuke thinks, on the verge of tearing at his hair, so damn hot that he’s teetering dangerously on the edge of perfect. All of him. That’s what Yosuke wants.
And now, just thinking about Yu changing near him is making Yosuke sweat. He does not care how, or what bullshit excuse he might have to give Chie, he is getting out.
“Let’s just get me ready somewhere else.”
“That’s actually a good idea, Yosuke,” Yu says. He’s looking at his partner with eyes like lightning. Yosuke gapes, heat coursing through him. But then Yu looks over at Chie and smiles, his expression almost bland. “If i’m going to win, I can’t let the competition see Yukiko’s work.”
Chie lights up. “Hey now, Narukami,” she says, “don’t count Yosuke out yet! Just wait until you see what we’ve got.”
“R-right,” Yosuke says, still staring at Yu. Chie grabs his arm and tugs him out of the room.
They wind up in a nearby empty classroom, and Chie pushes Yosuke down into a chair. She tilts her head to the left and stares, then to the right, her eyes narrowing. “Hmm,” she says. “This might be harder than I thought.”
“Chie!”
“What?” she asks defensively, putting her hands on her hips. “Just because I’m a girl doesn’t mean I know how to make you look like one. I think we’re definitely going to have to use make-up.” She leans in a little closer. “Maybe a lot of make-up…”
“I’m not like Teddie or… or Yu,” he says. “I don’t care about winning. And unlike Kanji, I don’t care if I’m pretty. I really just want to get this over with.”
Chie rolls her eyes. “You have to get into the spirit of it.”
He slumps down and scowls. “Oh, like you? Are you getting into the spirit of it for your beauty pageant?”
“Shut up,” she says, her voice growing sharper. “If you hadn’t signed us up in the first place, none of this would even be happening. It’s your own fault you know.”
Yosuke doesn’t feel like arguing - mostly because even though he resents her for signing him up, she’s mostly right - so he just looks away from her, keeping a sullen silence.
Chie lets him sit there for maybe a minute before she huffs and grabs a bag she’d brought with her, shoving it at his chest. “Here,” she says. “Go to the bathroom and get changed. I’m pretty sure this will fit you, though the skirt might be a little short.” Yosuke turns red. “And why’d you get so weird about the changing, anyway? It’s not like I was going to let Yu change right there, in front of Yukiko.”
“I wasn’t being weird,” Yosuke says, standing up. “I didn’t… I mean I…” He sighs and rolls his eyes, pushing past Chie. “It’s better if we get ready separately, anyway.”
“Whatever,” Chie mutters.
She’s following behind him and Yosuke stops. “What are you doing?” he asks, angry. “I’m going to change!”
“Yeah, and probably going to try to slip away or go out the window or something! I’m waiting right outside the door until you’re done, Yosuke.” She pokes him for emphasis. “Now go!”
She marches him to the bathroom and Yosuke, with rising dread, goes inside as Chie waits like a guard at the door. There’s no one else inside, and hopefully no one else will try to come in with Chie right there. He sets the bag on the counter by the sink and pulls out the outfit Chie had brought him. The first piece of clothing is a soft, worn sweater vest in a dull sort of peach color. There’s a short sleeved white shirt to go under it, and then, just as she’d said, a skirt. What looks like a mini skirt, small and pleated and red. And terrible, Yosuke thinks. “Ugh,” he says, out loud to the mirror, where he sees his reflection holding up the skirt. “I’m gonna get Chie for this.”
He looks around the empty bathroom, then ducks into a toilet stall. He takes his uniform jacket off first, because at least the top isn’t really different from something a guy might normally wear. He takes his headphones off next, folding his jacket and putting it in the bag under the other clothes, and tucking the headphones carefully on top of it. He puts on the starched white shirt over the v-neck he’s wearing, which is tight enough to lay flat under everything else. It fits well, actually. He pulls the sweater on next, smoothing it out and adjusting the shirt collar around the neck. It’s long and a little baggy, coming down to his hips. It probably looks stupid with his uniform pants, but he’d far prefer to go out in front of everyone looking stupid than wearing a skirt. He lifts it up and looks at it. Chie’s right, it does look a little short. He wonders how long he can get away with staying in the bathroom. Chie probably wouldn’t come get him herself - although, he thinks, he probably shouldn’t underestimate her - but she might send Yu. That would be worse, especially if he hadn’t gotten dressed into whatever Yukiko had brought for him yet.
He undoes his pants.
Yosuke is almost surprised nothing happens, that nothing has shifted with his decision not to fight against the inevitable. He shoves his pants down to his ankles and then steps out of them. His legs feel strange to be so bare, especially at school, and it makes his confidence wilt. He feels exposed, almost vulnerable, and he’s suddenly glad that Chie included long socks to go with the outfit. He takes a deep breath, and steps through the skirt. He pulls it up snug to his hips, and fastens it.
There, he thinks. He grabs his pants and uniform jacket and steps back out towards the mirror. He looks at himself and it’s not a stranger staring back, not like he expected, it’s just… himself.
He looks like Yosuke. Just Yosuke in a skirt. It doesn’t suddenly transform him into a girl, though he realizes that’s sort of what he expected. The feminine clothing might get him mistaken for a girl, maybe, somewhere people didn’t know him, but really he just looks like maybe his laundry got mixed up or he got dressed in the dark. It doesn’t change him.
Blushing a little, he twists his hips left and right, feeling the strange sensation of the skirt whisking across his thighs. It twirls with him, lifting for a moment before slapping gently at his side, then repeating the movement to the other with the spin of his body.
There’s a large bow that came with the outfit that he’ll make Chie tie for him, and black socks that can be pulled up to his knees. Fumbling a little on one foot, he leans against the wall of the bathroom and pulls on one sock, then the other. They offer the long, bare length of his legs more protection, and it helps calm his shaky nerves a little.
“Well,” he says to the mirror, his reflection scared and somber-eyed, “here goes nothing.”
He takes a breath and then opens the door. “Okay,” he says softly, looking down at the floor. “I’m dressed, Chie.”
She sizes him up quickly, gaze tracing the whole length of him. Yosuke pulls at the hem of his skirt, feeling so damn exposed. It might be different in shorts, he thinks, not this loose, nothing garment that could flip up with any sort of misstep.
“All right!” Chie says, and she sounds pleased. “You actually look pretty good. Not going to lie, Yosuke.” They head back towards the empty classroom they were in, Yosuke keeping his head down so no one they meet in the halls will see his face. “I really wasn’t sure you could pull it off. And I might have thought about sabotaging you, just a little.” He looks up, sharp, and Chie says defensively “Just as payback! It’s your fault we’re all in this mess. That Kashiwagi, I can’t believe we have to go through with this…”
“Chie! Come on, isn’t signing us up for this stupid pageant revenge enough?”
“Yeah, I guess,” she says, and he’s a little upset she seems unsure. “Where’s the bow? We’ve got to put that on too.”
Yosuke rolls his eyes and fishes it out of the bag Chie had brought for him. She ties it, fixing it at his collar: large and floppy and a lurid shade of bright red. He hates the skirt more, but it didn’t make him feel as silly as the large bow does.
He sighs. “I look ridiculous.”
“Well…” Chie turns a little pink, hiding a smile behind her hand. “It doesn’t actually look bad! Really! And it’s not quite done, anyway. We need to do something with your hair, and then do your make-up.”
“Why can’t we leave my hair like it is?” he asks, touching it self-consciously.
“Because it has to look girly! Rise brought wigs, I think, but I don’t know where they ended up. Hmm, I guess you’re right, though. Your hair is probably girly enough already.”
“Th-that’s not what I meant!” He looks away, scowling. “My hair’s not girly…”
Chie gasps. “Ooh, wait, I know!” She pulls out an elastic hair band from her pocket. There are two plastic strawberries attached. “This’ll be perfect!” She moves towards him, hands up towards his hair and then pauses, unsure of what she’s going to do. “Um. Okay, so I guess what we need to do… Uh… First, sit down.” He does, and she takes a handful of his hair at the top of his head and tightens it in her fist. Then she ties it off with the hair band, adjusting it so the two strawberries are easy to see. “There,” she says, looking proud of herself. “It’s done! It looks… pretty good, I think!”
She puts her hands on her hips and gives him a triumphant grin. Yosuke reaches up, gingerly, to feel the tuft of hair sticking up near the top of his head. “It feels stupid.”
“No,” Chie says, frowning at him. “It looks… great…”
“Sure,” he snorts. “Let me see, then.”
She has another small blue bag with her, full of make-up he thinks, and she digs out a round compact and shoves it at Yosuke. He pops it open and holds it up close to his face, inspecting Chie’s work. His appearance hasn’t really changed much - not even his hair looks much different, aside from the little tail sticking up off sides near the crown of his head. He frowns.
“Pretty good, huh?” Chie asks after another moment of silence.
Yosuke snaps the compact shut and hands it back to her. “I don’t know, Chie, it’s just… I mean…” He trails off and then his thoughts jolt, because he’s not sure what he means. He’s not sure how he’s supposed to feel about how he looks, he’s not even sure how he’s supposed to look. Shouldn’t he hate it more than he does? It isn’t fun, anticipating the school’s reaction, and he’s dreading having to go out on stage. But the skirt doesn’t make him feel any different, not really, and that strikes him as strange. That makes him feel worse, and his stomach drops, a heavy, thunderous sort of dread booming through the empty parts of him. His face feels warm and his limbs are tingling. “I don’t really look like a girl, do I?” he asks.
“Not really,” Chie says, not even bothering to pretend otherwise. “Although…” She huffs and says, “You can’t repeat this, Yosuke, I mean it! But even though you’re a guy…” She giggles, then presses her lips together like she didn’t mean to let the laughter escape. “You’re actually pretty cute.”
Yosuke groans and leans over, putting his face in his hands. “You don’t have to make this worse, Chie.”
“It’s not like being cute is bad,” she mutters, but he ignores her.
“This is going to be hard enough, okay? I know, I know, it sucks and you’re going through it, too, but I hate it, and the whole school’s going to see me, and Yu’s going to see me, and of all things it had to be a freaking beauty pageant, didn’t it?” He groans again and his fingers wind through his hair, tugging as his forehead hovers near his knees.
“Yeah, beauty pageants are pretty dumb.”
“You don’t get it,” he says, “It’s - “ He cuts himself off abruptly. Chie doesn’t know about his shadow. Nobody knows, except Yu. There’s nobody Yosuke can tell, nobody he can commiserate with. Everyone probably thinks he’s just being whiny again, like always, complaining about something that he’s to blame for in the first place.
“It’s what?” Chie asks. And if he’d expected sympathy in her voice, he’s disappointed, because she only sounds annoyed with him.
“It’s hard, okay? Just let it go, Chie.”
“Uh, no, not when you’re being so dramatic about it!” He looks up at her and she crosses her arms over her chest, peering down at him with narrowed eyes. “Why’s it any harder for you than anyone else? Especially poor Naoto!”
His voice goes quiet. “I didn’t say it was harder.”
“Then what’s the problem? Like you said, it’s not like you even look like a girl. And it’ll be over soon, anyway!”
Yosuke licks his lips and says, “When I went after my shadow, the dungeon was a damn beauty pageant, okay? That’s why this is so embarrassing.” He regrets it almost as soon as he says it, but it’s out there and he can’t take it back. The dread he felt is slowly forming into panic, because as much as a part of him wants to talk about it, there is no way - no way, he thinks fiercely - that Chie, or anyone, can ever know about his feelings for Yu. The color drains from his face as he looks at Chie’s wide eyes.
“Oh,” she breathes. “Sorry, Yosuke, I didn’t know.” They both look away, breaking eye contact, and Chie fidgets in place, suddenly subdued. “We’ve all noticed you’ve been kind of off since then,” she says, still not looking at him. “No one wanted to say anything to upset you, and we wouldn’t say anything anyway because a shadow’s a really personal thing. We all felt bad for you, but…” She scratches the back of her head. “We were kind of relieved it hadn’t happened to us - at least I was - and that made me feel super guilty, too. Sorry if you, uh… If you needed us and we weren’t there.”
There’s a long pause and then Yosuke says “Would you have still signed me up for this if you had known?”
“Hey!” Chie says, spirit lifting with anger. “You’re the one who started this, Yosuke! You shouldn’t have signed us up.” He laughs once, barely more than a breath, and they both fall silent again. Then she says “Is that why you were so weird about Yu?” Her nose crinkles up. “Did you… already have to dress up like a girl before? Was you shadow, uh… dressed up like - “
“No!” Yosuke says, practically jumping up out of his seat. “What the hell, Chie, of course not!”
She shrugs, looking sheepish. “Sorry, geez. But you were so quick to run out of the room where Yukiko was getting him ready, and it hasn’t just been you who’s been acting weird, but he’s been weird ever since your second shadow, too. He’s been...” She waves a hand in front of her face, searching for the words to describe him. “Kind of… more himself than usual. Like flat, you know? He’s always really hard to read, but lately it’s like he’s got himself locked up so much that nothing comes through.”
Yosuke winces. Flat is a good way to describe Yu, he thinks, even if it’s unfair at the same time. The boy without a shadow, the new kid, the leader, even Yosuke’s partner… That’s what Yu is, but not who. He is so careful, always, to be whatever those around him need him to be. He plays sports, he helps out with the band, he has jobs all over Inaba after-school, he’s friends with almost everyone. He listens, but Yosuke has noticed more and more lately that he rarely talks. Yu doesn’t open up, not really, not often at least, and it cuts him deeply to know that he’s the reason why Yu has closed up even more. “Flat,” he repeats, his voice kept carefully neutral.
“Hmm, yeah,” Chie says, thoughtfully. “That’s the best way I can describe it, just really… the same, you know, like how it seems like he’s feeling? Like he has one setting and it’s always on. And lately it’s just… more obvious that maybe there’s something going on behind that. He doesn’t seem like himself, it’s like he’s wearing a mask of himself.” Chie snaps her fingers. “Yeah, that’s it! That’s what I was trying to say. Flat like a mask, like he's pretending, stuck on one expression.” Her gaze cuts to Yosuke for half a second, something almost accusing inside. “I guess whatever happened was rough on him, too.”
Yosuke doesn’t respond.
The silence stretches for a beat too long. Then Chie clears her throat and says “You know, me and Yukiko? We were actually closer after our shadows. It’s only been a few days, maybe soon you guys can talk about it. It might make you feel better. Both of you.”
She’s standing in front of him, looking uncomfortable but sincere. A part of him wishes he could explain what’s going on, tell her why he and Yu - shit, he feels like garbage that it’s affecting Yu - are acting strangely. But that’s not something he can do. That’s not something he can ever do. He can’t let anyone know, he has to keep it wrapped up inside him, locked away, acknowledged yes, because of his damn shadow, but never discussed or thought about or acted upon. Soon, he’s sure, his feelings will fade. Yu will be his best friend, his partner, like always, and soon he won’t yearn for anything more. He won’t feel that gnawing inside him, a growing emptiness, as he looks at someone so far, far out of his reach. He’ll get over it soon.
Like you got over Saki? A part of him asks, a little voice in the back of his head. Yosuke winces, and wishes he hadn’t thought about it, feels the ache all over again that her death had caused.
Chie clears her throat again. “Hey,” she says, sounding worried, voice a little aggressive. “Are you okay, Yosuke?”
“It’s just… The pageant sucks,” he says, folding back his wayward thoughts. He tucks Yu and Saki away, clears his head of the fog thoughts of them caused.
“It’s not that bad,” Chie says, brows drawn and her mouth pinched in a frown. “Now let me do your make-up. Maybe if you… looked better, it would make it easier.” She hands him a headband and he sighs and pulls it over his head, pushing it up to his hairline to keep his hair out of the way. “I just… Gotta figure out where to start.” She digs out a tube of moisturizer and squeezes some onto the tips of her fingers. She sets it back in the bag and then rubs her hands together, then smears it onto Yosuke’s face. It feels strange, especially with someone else’s hands on his skin. It’s weird intimate and he flushes, his pulse increasing, fidgeting with discomfort. “Hold still,” Chie tells him.
“Sorry,” he says. “But this is really weird.”
“I know,” she says. Her face is a little red, too. She’s careful to stay on one side of him; he has his knees pressed tight together, and even if it would make him easier to reach if Chie stood in the space between his legs, there’s no way that’s going to happen. If this tiny skirt flipped up or he shifted the wrong way and he accidentally flashed her? If Chie didn’t kill him he might just be humiliated to death. Besides that, the thought of a girl between his legs is... maybe something he just shouldn't think about at all right now.
She puts the cap back on the moisturizer and takes out a big, fluffy brush. She opens a powder compact, the same one she’d handed Yosuke to look at his hair, and rubs the brush in a hard circle to pick up the powder. “Close your eyes,” she says. Yosuke obeys, and in big, sweeping strokes she brushes the soft powder on his face. His nose twitches, but he stays as still as he can. “There!” Chie announces. He opens his eyes and sees her looking down into her bag, pulling out several small pots and compacts and what looked like a large crayon.
“Uh… what’s that for?”
“It’s blush,” she answers. “Rise said to make sure to pick a color that works for you, but…” Chie holds up two identical crystal pots, one in a rosy pink and one in a richer, creamy orange. She puts them close to his face, one by his right cheek and one by his left. “Um… you wear a lot of orange so maybe this one is good? But pink is kind of girlier.” She looks over her other options for a moment - and Yosuke has no idea where she got so much make-up, it looks like they might have raided an entire drugstore - and then chooses the brightest, most intense shade of pink she has.
And part of Yosuke wants to be a good sport and just let her have free reign, do whatever damage to his face she wants. But at the same time, thinking about the entire school seeing him, all his friends, and most importantly Yu… He cares more than he thought he did, he realizes. And he resolved not to let his feelings out, but a part of him can’t help but want to look good - or at least look somewhere in a realm away from ridiculous.
“H-hold on Chie,” he says, nervously. She stops and looks at him. “Maybe we could use something… not so bright? Or just use a really, really small amount?”
“I don’t know,” she replies. “I have a lot of blush here. We should probably use it.”
“I don’t… I really don’t want that.”
She sighs. “I know that you probably don’t feel comfortable dressed like this - “
“Probably? Hell no, I don’t feel comfortable like this.”
Chie ignores him. “But trust me, Yosuke! I know what I’m doing.” She laughs suddenly, wearing a nervous smile. “Mostly, at least.”
Yosuke gently pushes her out of his personal space and grabs a pale peach color of what he assumes is blush and a tube of mascara. “Use this,” he says, holding it out to her, “and that’s all.”
“What about lipstick? And I brought eyelashes, too.”
Yosuke groans. “Isn’t it almost time to start? Do we even have time for all of that?”
She rolls her eyes. “It’ll take like five minutes, Yosuke, come on.” She grabs another brush and opens the blush compact. She swirls the brush over the compact and a light dust comes off, peach with flecks of pink and gold. She studies Yosuke carefully and then in a soft circle dusts the apples of his cheeks. “Smile,” she says, and he does, his cheeks plumping up. “Well, that looks pretty natural I think.” She bites her lip for a second, still staring at him. It’s starting to make Yosuke uncomfortable. “Yeah. Yeah,” she says, sounding more sure, “That looks good! Ready for your lashes?”
Yosuke sighs and with trepidation says “Okay, Chie. Go ahead.”
Right before the pageant starts, the contestants line up in the wings. “Whoa,” Yosuke says when he sees Kanji. “What the hell happened to you?” He’s wearing a blonde wig - or what Yosuke is pretty sure is a wig, he didn’t think Kanji had that much hair - and a white dress, with halter straps and a full skirt. His cheeks are painted with circles of pink and his lips are a vivid red. Yosuke presses his own lips together; Chie had bullied him into a gloss and they feel heavy and sticky. It doesn’t taste great, either.
Kanji scowls. He even has large pearl earrings on his ears. “What? Like you look any better?” He rolls his shoulders, defensive, and says “Rise did it. She said she was really good at stuff like this, but then she was also sayin’ how she has all these stylists helping her, so. Blame her for how I look.” It’s hard to tell, but Yosuke thinks he flushes under his make-up. “Is it that bad?”
“Uh…” He rubs the back of his neck, not quite sure how to answer. “Sorry?”
“I think you look fine,” a voice behind Yosuke says, and he spins around quickly to see Yu. He hadn’t gotten to see Yu since he and Chie left to get ready, and he’d been both dreading it and incredibly curious. Yu’s wearing what looks like an older Yasogami uniform, with a long skirt and jacket. His hair, almost exactly the same color as his natural hair, is hanging in twin braids on either side of his slender neck. His face is smooth and clear, without a trace of unnatural color.
“Man senpai,” Kanji says, “You look like yourself. Except for the braids and skirt, I mean.”
He also has a kendo stick to complete the ensemble. “Thank you,” he says, smiling slightly. “Nice dress.” Kanji grunts, and Yu turns his attention to Yosuke. His smile grows a little wider. “Nice skirt.”
“H-hey,” Yosuke says. He crosses his arms over his chest and shifts his weight. He feels like a fool standing there in front of Yu and decides to just ignore the jab. Or compliment, but he can’t imagine Yu meant it sincerely. “I can’t believe we have to do this. That Chie! I don’t think she feels bad about this at all.”
The announcer comes out on the stage and all three turn their attention towards him. He introduces the pageant and then asks for the first contestant to come forward.
“Inaba born and bred,” he says into his microphone. “This beauty will hit with a fist or her killer looks! Say hello to Kanji from year one class three!”
Kanji stomps out onto the stage, looking fiercer than usual. He stands with his hands clenched into fists at his sides, his stance wide. “Yo,” he says.
“Now,” the announcer says, “why don’t you tell us your best feature!”
For a second Kanji looks taken aback and he blinks out into the crowd. “Uh… my eyes?”
“Wow,” the announcer says, faux-amazed. “A conventional answer from this un-conventional beauty!”
The crowd laughs and jeers and peeking out, Yosuke groans. “Man, this sucks,” he whispers. “I feel so damn stupid. Look at Kanji out there. They’re merciless!”
“It’s not that bad,” Yu says, adjusting the braids of his wig. He looks over at Yosuke and cocks his head speculatively. Yosuke looks back, a little reluctant. “You actually look pretty cute.”
“What the hell, Yu, no i don’t!” He hisses.
Yu shrugs, like it’s nothing, but his eyes are bright. “Think of it as a compliment. Maybe you’re stylish enough you can pull off anything.”
He’s torn between angry and flattered and embarrassed and he looks away, clutching the fabric of his skirt in one tight fist.
“Yosuke,” Yu says. “Hey.” Yosuke looks back at him and Yu says “I like what Chie did to your eyes. They’re pretty.”
His mouth falls open and he blinks and the powers of speech leave him completely. What can he say to that, he wonders. Why would Yu say it, why.
The announcer starts his intro for the next contestant and whatever response Yosuke might have made has to be postponed, because it’s his turn to walk out.
“Just a second,” Yu says softly, pressing in close. “You have something just… right there…” And in the next second he touches the corner of Yosuke’s mouth with his thumb, and swipes gently along the fullness of Yosuke’s lower lip. “Lipstick smear,” Yu says, like what he’s done is no big deal, like he hasn’t just touched his best friend’s mouth.
Yosuke can hardly breathe. There is a pink stain on Yu’s thumb, a rosy blot of color against the rough whorl of his skin.
“I did that,” Yosuke thinks as he walks out into the stage. He feels a strange, interior sort of stillness. And even as the announcer introduces him, all he can think about is that little pink mark that rubbed off his mouth.
“H-hi,” he says, pitching his voice high like a girl’s. He’s not really sure if the pageant is meant to be them as themselves or acting as girls.
“Wow,” the announcer says, looking him over. It makes Yosuke’s skin crawl a little. “You’re certainly a hot little number! Dressed to win in that outfit. Do you often dress like this?”
“Hell no,” Yosuke spits out. “Uh…” he winces. “I mean l-like… no way.”
The crowd is jeering still and Kanji growls quietly. He leans over and asks Yosuke “What the hell is this? We’re laughingstocks.”
Yosuke scoffs. “Well yeah… What did you think this was about?”
“Okay everyone,” the announcer says, “we’re not done yet. Our next contestant is a beauty from the big city. She’s made more girls cry than there are stars in the sky. Let’s welcome the heart breaker... miss Yu Narukami from class two two!”
A shiver runs down Yosuke’s back as Yu walks toward them. The crowd grows louder, with gasps and jeers and shouts.
“Senpai!” a girl wails.
Yu hoists the kendo stick onto his shoulder. “Hello, everyone,” he says. “Here I am.”
The announcer grins. “Looks like you are causing quite a stir with the crowd! Lots of people are having very strong reactions to your look. Tell me, could it be that.. you signed yourself up for the pageant?”
“No,” Yu said. He didn’t sound nervous at all. “My friends forced me.”
“Yeah!” Yosuke calls. “Tell ‘em Chie Satonaka did it!” He can’t see Chie in the audience, but he hopes she heard him. “And damn that Kashiwagi,” he mutters. “I can’t believe she made us go through with this! I’m going to be scarred forever.”
“It’s not that bad, is it?” Yu asks. His voice is soft and he’s still looking out at the audience. He doesn’t really look like a girl at all, Yosuke thinks. And he’s still so damn good looking it makes Yosuke ache.
“It kind of is,” Yosuke replies in a whisper. And he tells himself again that it won’t last, it’s just a fluke. Yu will still be beautiful but soon, Yosuke thinks, he won’t care.
Teddie turns out to be adorable, and thanks to Naoto’s help he wins the pageant by a landslide. He’s dressed in an Alice costume with a sleek blonde length of hair, blue dress, and apron.
The only prize he wins is the position of honorary judge for the real pageant, but that is enough for Teddie, who immediately begins abusing his power by declaring the girls have to compete in a swimsuit competition. Since he’s the one who brought Teddie, Yosuke’s pretty sure Chie is going to find a way to blame him for the swimsuit debacle so as soon as the announcer releases the contestants Yosuke runs off the stage. He heads for the classroom where his clothes are stashed and grabs them, then runs into the bathroom. As soon as he’s in a stall he tugs the skirt down and it pools around his ankles. His face scrunches in disgust as he steps out of it. He tugs on the bow at his neck until it comes undone and and he pulls it off with more force than strictly necessary.
He’s stuck half in his sweater when the bathroom door opens. It startles him and he bumps his elbow on the wall of the stall. “Damn it,” he mutters, wriggling out of the sweater. His shirt gets stuck in the sweater, pushed up his stomach. He feels ridiculous, standing half dressed in a bathroom stall, and he hopes whoever walked in leaves soon.
“Yosuke?” It’s Yu’s voice, shit, and Yosuke bites his lip to keep from groaning. “Is that you?”
He tips his head back, cursing his luck. “Uh, yeah dude,” he says, “It’s me.” He wrestles the sweater off and smooths the shirt back down. He starts unbuttoning it, hoping that maybe Yu will leave. “Just getting out of these clothes.”
“Ahh. Me, too,” Yu says, going into the stall beside him. Yosuke sees a ball of gray fall to Yu’s feet. The wig’s braids are splayed out, the top crushed in. Yu peels off the tights he’s wearing and under the stall Yosuke can see his pale ankles. He swallows and looks away. There’s a soft sound of cloth rustling and the skirt parachutes down Yu’s legs.
Yosuke pulls his arms out of the shirt and stuffs it in the bag. He rolls the socks down his calves and then tugs them off. He almost loses his balance and his ass bumps into the wall separating him from Yu. With a bitten off curse he balls up the socks and shoves them in with the shirt. He gathers up the skirt and the bow and puts them on top of the socks. His pants come out next and he puts them on as quickly as he can, ignoring the sound of Yu dressing beside him. As soon as his pants are zipped he throws open the door and steps back out into the bathroom. He fights his way into his uniform jacket, leaving it unfastened. He just wants to get away as soon as he can, but he catches his reflection out of the corner of his eye and turns to the mirror, staring at his face still covered in make-up. He growls to himself and turns on the water. He pulls off the eyelashes - which is an incredibly uncomfortable feeling, he thinks - and then splashes his face with cold water. Nothing seems to be coming off, so he scrubs at his cheeks with his hands.
Yu comes out, dressed in his normal clothes, holding a bag with the balled mass of his wig resting on top of his costume. “Trying to get the make-up off?” he asks, slinging the strap of the bag over his shoulder.
“Yeah,” Yosuke says, avoiding his eye. “I guess Chie put on more than I thought.”
Yu stands in front of a sink and reaches into the bag. “Here,” he says. “You need to use a special cleanser to get the make-up off if it’s waterproof. Rise lent it to me.”
He pumps two squirts of a pearly liquid into his other hand and then hands the bottle to Yosuke. Yosuke watches, enthralled an Yu rubs his fingertips together and then gently massages the cleanser into his face. He’d graceful, as always, his long fingers moving in gentle, methodical circles. His mouth opens just a fraction as he works and Yosuke sees a bite of white teeth, and the edge of a wet, pink tongue.
His hand trembles as he grabs the bottle.
Yu splashes water on his face and the cleaner turns milky, with black and beige streaks as the make-up comes off. Looking back to the mirror, Yosuke starts on his own face. Yu finishes, and instead of leaving waits for Yosuke. He takes his time, scrubbing until all the make up is gone and his pale skin is tinged pink. His lips look pinker, too, and fuller, but he wipes his mouth with the back of his hand and no color comes off.
“You ready?” Yu asks. Yosuke flicks the fake eyelashes from the counter into the trash can, and then pulls out his headphones and music player from the bottom of his bag. He stuffs the player in his pocket and fits the headphones in their proper place around his neck. He puts his hands around the large ear cups on either side of his neck for a few seconds, adjusting, letting the familiar feel and weight start to settle him. A drum line beats in his head and he taps to it absently before he moves his hands. “We should probably go support the girls for their pageant.”
What a great guy, Yosuke thinks. And there’s a trace of resentment there, he can feel it where it sits uneasily in his chest. Yu’s a great guy. He knows that Yu just wants to be there for him, to make sure he’s okay, but for once Yosuke doesn’t want his attention. He might, he thinks, just want to be alone. To stall for a little time, half hoping that Yu will leave, he fastens his jacket. But Yu stays, patient, his attention fixed on Yosuke. Once again getting what he wants doesn’t make him any happier.
“Okay,” he says, with one last look in the mirror. And then he sees his hair. He sighs, exasperated, and Yu grins at him. Yosuke flushes and pulls the little strawberry hair band out of his hair, tossing it onto the counter. He flattens his hair down with the palm of his hand, smoothing it back to its normal style. “Let’s go.”
He grabs his stuff and walks out. He doesn’t check to see if Yu is following behind him.