Chapter Text
Despite her revelation, Rey doesn’t do anything particularly different when around Poe. The Falcon’s gone to a nearby rebel base off the grid, Qetix IV, to rally more Resistance fighters. They have tentative plans to venture to the nearby Ventil system to see about acquiring some ships and fighters, but for now they’re working with pilots to establish a secure base.
Rey’s been tasked so far to help out with inventory of fighters, and heading that task is none other than Poe himself. His enamored face when around the jets is childlike and charming, and Rey finds it easy to tease him when he’s like this.
“Should I give you two some privacy?” Rey mentions off-hand, a smirk teasing on her lips as she looks to Poe over her shoulder, closing the door to a fighter behind her that she just checked and cleared.
Poe flushes lightly but grins back at her. “Hey, I’m still in mourning over my old fighter, give me some time and maybe I’ll take this old girl out on the town,” Poe smirks back at Rey, gesturing to the jet behind him.
A Qetix IV Resistance pilot they haven’t met yet, tall, shaggy blond hair a shadow around his face, walks out from behind the jet, past Poe’s eye line, and coughs as he tries to get between Poe and the jet. Poe jumps, and immediately moves over to Rey’s jet as she tries her hardest to hold back her laughter. The native pilot doesn’t look amused, and his expression remains blank as he attaches new communication devices to each jet’s control system, a present courtesy of General Organa.
“Okay yeah, laugh it up Rey, next time you expect any sympathy out of me keep looking alright,” Poe mutters as he marks the jet’s number and ducks beneath it to the next one, Rey following in step gladly.
“No, I didn't mean it like that, I’m just glad to know there’s still hope for you. You won’t become a lonely old spinster after all!” Rey bites her lip as she laughs to herself, seeing Poe’s glare. His pout immediately draws her attention to his lips, and she finds herself releasing her own as her laughter dies down. She stares for a moment too long at his lips, and when Poe notices and nervously licks them, Rey blushes violently.
“Let me just check this one,” Rey says hastily as she scrambles aboard the next fighter, nearly bashing her head on the door as she enters, her heart frantically chasing after her. Inside, Rey drops her head into her hands and sighs for a second to collect herself; unaware Poe is outside doing the exact same thing.
Poe lifts his head up and rolls his shoulders back, psyching himself up again to be the cool, calm, and smooth pilot he's always been. Stepping into the fighter, Poe leans against the inside of the doorframe, as he stretches one arm over his head and cocks his hips to the side stretching out his torso in one long line, his other arm perched on his hip.
Busy with checking out the status of the fighter, Rey doesn’t notice Poe’s presence, and startles and looks over at him when Poe asks if the jet looks good for flight.
Rey turns, her jaw hanging open slightly as she takes in the sight of Poe. Her heartbeat is crashing violently in her chest and she feels the blush – only just nearly having left her cheeks – return with a vengeance as she stares at his broad shoulders and thick chest and muscular arms on show.
“…uh, what was that?” Rey stutters, looking clearly dazed, before quickly turning back to the panel and testing how smoothly the jet starts, while she closes her eyes and feels the Force around her. She reaches out, and pulls it close to her in comfort and to gain control, exhaling in a long, slow breath when she feels something warm and firm bump into her back solidly.
“Oof,” Poe mumbles as he crashes fully into Rey, his entire front pushed and plastered against her back. Rey startles too, and knows exactly when Poe inhales in surprise, since she can literally feel it against her back.
Turning around abruptly, Rey’s hand that was on the control panel trembles as she tries to balance herself, and she slips backwards slightly, falling back until Poe reaches out and holds onto her waist and pulls her towards him to prevent her crashing backwards.
They both stand there, soundlessly, just breathing in sync for a moment. Neither one realizes how far they've both leaned in to each other, until their noses are mere inches away from touching. From this distance, Poe can see the gentle freckles on Rey's nose, and Rey can almost see how many laugh lines run alongside Poe's eyes and smile.
“What happened?” His eyes are so dark Rey nearly misses what Poe says, his voice gravelly in a way she’s not heard before.
Rey tries to talk, but has to clear her throat first when her reply comes out hoarse. Poe doesn’t lean any further back, and so neither does Rey.
“I think, uh, I felt the Force for a moment, and maybe, I must have pushed too hard or something and, uh, accidentally moved you too, without realizing.” Rey’s blush was ferocious as her reply comes out in a soft and slow murmur, her heart beating so hard it would take a miracle for Poe not to realize it. Her shallow breaths fall on Poe’s face, but he hardly so much as blinked in response, his gaze fixed on Rey.
“Well, I can’t argue with the Force now, can I?” Poe jokes, but beneath that is an intensity that makes Rey shiver. Poe tightens his grip faintly in response, and his small action draws her closer.
There’s barely an inch of space left between them as Rey eyes trace all over Poe’s face. His handsome face, with those pretty eyes and soft hair and sweet lips, and oh gods does Rey feels close to throwing up, she can’t handle the butterflies storming around in her stomach. Supreme Leader of the First Order, oh now that she can deal with head first, but one moment spent with Commander Poe Dameron and she’s willing to back out of this gladly, hands up in surrender and skip in her step if it means she can avoid feeling like this every time she's around the pilot.
“Rey,” Poe says, softly, his hands moving across her waist to the small of her back, resting there for a moment, and Rey couldn’t think of anything besides this moment with Poe, even if Jedi Master Luke Skywalker himself demanded her too. She breathes in the air around her, feels the warmth exuding from Poe and for once, allows herself to yearn . She just wants this touch she’s never had, this familiarity, this feeling, and she isn’t ashamed to admit it. She isn’t weak, she isn’t alone, she deserves to have something like this, and suddenly her nerves disappear for a moment as she opens her eyes and stares back at the man in front of her.
She sees Poe’s comforting and familiar eyes, and feels safe, feels calm, feels free, and feels hope . They move a fraction closer, Poe leaning in, so close, so safe…
“Ahem,” Rey and Poe both jolt at the noise nearly knocking their foreheads together, Rey rotating and looking at the control panel, attempting a look of concentration and focus as Poe takes a step back and runs a hand through his curls, the moment between them snapped and broken before Poe had a chance to stop it.
Turning his attention to the man behind the cough, Poe sees the same scrappy-looking pilot from before standing outside the fighter on the ground, looking bored and holding a communication outlet in his hands sarcastically when he notices Poe's insistent stare, ready to attach to the jet Rey’s checking out.
Poe stares the boy down, who doesn’t seem to notice or care, and grabs the device from his hands, as the pilot simply shrugs and walks onto the next jet. Poe looks down at the heavy piece in his hands and sighs, wondering how much trouble Leia would give him if he just smashed it against his head.
Rey hardly fairs any better, and wonder whether she could blame a malfunction with the Force if she lets all the devices in the pilot's hands to fall on his feet, but decides against it, knowing Leia would see right through her.
The two finish up the afternoon together, clearing their approval of the fighters ready for flight. As they both go to bed that night, both can think of nothing else besides that moment they shared, so close, so close , and eventually they both fall asleep, their heartbeats beating at the same time as they sleep under the same roof just doors down from each other.
*
Just as a handful of people are ready to trek to the nearby Ventil system to recruit for the Resistance and hear word of the First Order's current whereabouts, the Qetix IV pilots ask to meet with General Organa and Commander Dameron for a clear set of instructions of the Resistance’s next steps.
Poe, originally set to go with the others to Ventil and help pick out and stock up new fighter, reluctantly pulls back with Leia and Connix to stay for the meeting. Rey, Rose, Chewie, BB-8, and a bunch of other volunteers are sent, and Poe spends the rest of his morning stuck in a boring meeting that consists of Leia repeatedly nodding and replying with the phrase "I'm sure it'll be fine".
Even after the meeting finishes, with a very diplomatic agreement on both sides to prepare the new ships coming in for travel as soon as possible, Poe has the rest of the day free with nothing to do, and so heads off to find Finn. He knows Finn stayed back to try and track possible First Order locations with the help of Maz somewhere on the Falcon. Poe heads that way, and finds a deflated, sad looking ball barely bigger than his fist in the Resistance base on his walk back to the Falcon, and grabs it on a whim as he settles on the floor of the flight deck on the Falcon, waiting for Finn to finish up his work.
The moment he does, Poe aims and throws the ball directly at Finn's head, who startles aggressively, and turns to Poe with a look of utter betrayal on his face.
“What did I do to you to deserve this?” Finn dramatically asks, and Poe laughs in his face, grabbing the ball from the floor where it had pitifully fallen from Finn’s face and rolled to, and claps his friend on the back, apologizing.
“I’m sorry Finn, I was hoping you’d be down to throw this around with me for a bit, I’m ready to go mad if I have to use my brain again,” Poe says, throwing the ball to a now prepared Finn’s waiting hands.
“Must be tough having to use it so much after living for so long without it,” Finn grins, and then jumps out of the way as Poe launches a cup at his head. Finn retaliates, throwing the ball when Poe’s not focused on catching it, and an aggressive round of throw and catch commences.
By the time they call a truce, they’re both laughing so hard tears are running down their faces. They’ve nearly crashed through every room in the Falcon, completely empty since everyone aboard has gone to Ventil, and the two men settle on the steps of the open Falcon stair as they await for their friends to return any minute.
“Hey, Poe, what do you know about Rose, by the way?” Finn asks, hitting Poe’s shoulder and looking seriously at his friend as he ducks his head numerous times nervously.
Poe looks up, surprised that Finn was showing interest in someone, and even more so felt comfortable enough to talk to him about it. Poe slightly stutters but succinctly manages to tell his friend what he knows. She's strong, dependable, smart, determined, headstrong, caring. Finn nods the entire time, and scratches the back of his neck as Poe finishes.
“Why do you ask?” Poe prompts, as if he hasn't already caught on, and Finn fixes a look at him. Poe raises both hands defensively in response, but still looks to Finn for an answer.
Sighing, Finn starts. “There’s just something about her. I don't know, I never saw her that way when we met, but it just grew so quickly. Her heart is just so good, you know? She makes me want to be better. And she reminds me why we fight, not just because we want to destroy the bad guys, but because we need to protect the good ones too. Save what we love.” Finn murmurs the last part, but Poe catches it just, and feels his heart skip a beat as he immediately finds his thoughts turn to Rey, and her grin, and her eyes, her soft hair, her cutting wit, her unstoppable strength.
“Yeah, I know that feeling,” Finn turns to Poe, but he shrugs it off, and continues, “Have you told her how you feel yet?”
“We’ve kind of avoided talking about it, but we uh, also sort of kissed, back on Crait, before she, you know, fell unconscious because she saved my dumb ass.” Finn sighs and buries his face in his hands, and Poe pats him on the back, in full sympathy of men's constant inability to express themselves.
“Well, what does Rey think? She probably has some womanly intuition mixed with Jedi wisdom that would help better than my advice.”
“What’s your advice?”
“Pine until your dying days to avoid embarrassment and crushing rejection.”
“Aren’t you meant to be one of the bravest pilots in the Resistance?”
“Aren’t you meant to be the one person to ever break away from the First Order and fight against them?”
“…You’ve made your point.”
The two stare out from the Falcon, watching as people mull around and yell instructions at each other, lining up fighters to make way for the new ones to come back. Finn straightens his back, exhaling sharply and closing his eyes.
“I never told her.”
“What?” Poe turns, distracted from his people watching, to look at Finn.
“I never told Rey about me and Rose.”
Silence. An eyebrow slowly raises. And then,
“What?”
“I know, I know! It’s just, there’s been so much going on, and Rey’s been through enough these past few months, I don’t know how to bring it up. We haven’t had a minute together before someone pulls us away to do something else. It just seems a bit, I don't know, unimportant to bring it up when we have a war to fight right now.” Finn’s shoulder’s sag, and Poe rests a hand there, squeezing tightly.
“That’s exactly why we need to hear this stuff Finn. Things get morbid around here quick, if you can do something to keep it light, that would be great entertainment for the rest of us,” Poe grins, and Finn chuckles, hitting Poe’s chest before looking down, nodding.
Suddenly, there’s a flurry of movement from the hangar doors, and Poe and Finn both stand up, seeing a bunch of fighters; glorious, new, shining and fully functioning X-wing fighters, nearly twenty when Poe gives up counting, arrive through the doors. As the jets come to a still the pilots start to climb out, first Chewie, who turns to watch for the final jets to come in. Soon after him, Rose and BB-8 exit, and Finn goes over to them while Poe hangs back to find which jet is Rey's.
It takes a while for the last to trickle through, but still no sign of Rey. Anxious, Poe moves to Chewie, and asks where Rey is. Chewie tells him that she was determined to make sure everyone else got a clear takeoff before leaving herself. Poe swears lowly under his breath, and moves to one of the empty new fighters to grab the communications receiver, ready to call out for Rey’s location, when one last jet comes through, and the doors are closed behind it. Poe drops the cord back to its place and walks over to the jet.
Traversing through the buzz of people all around, Chewie and Poe just manage to make it to the last jet as Rey’s climbing down, soaked wet to the bone and from head to toe. She’s shivering, only having worn her sleeves and her basic clothes with no overcoat or anything for protection, and Chewie cries sadly and hugs her as she clings to him, laughing and trying to talk, but the words coming out between chattering teeth.
“You g-guys left just bef-fore the storm f-finally broke,” Rey is lowered to her feet and crosses her arms over her chest, rubbing her ice-cold arms, grinning, “my f-fighter was s-still chained to the g-g-ground, so I ha-had to get out and m-move the weight, got caught in-n the rain.”
Poe’s managed to take of his jacket and wrap it around Rey's shivering shoulders as she finishes talking, who clutches it gratefully and ties it tightly around her, and the three walk quickly back to the Falcon. On the way, they pass Finn, Rose, and BB-8, who all follow concerned that Rey’s apparently been drenched on her way back.
Chewie holds back and explains to them what happened as Poe leads Rey back to her room that she shares with Rose, and closes the door behind them.
“I’ll b-be fine, don’t w-worry,” Rey reassures Poe, still grinning despite the rain still clinging to her face. Poe laughs in disbelief at her giddiness, shaking his head.
“You never got rain like that on Jakku, I’m guessing,” Poe smiles, and hands Rey a clean, dry towel from a rack, who takes it with an appreciative smile.
“Never, it’s always magical t-to watch,” Rey says, her eyes lost for a moment in a memory, and she runs the towel over her hair, now lying free and damp across her face.
Poe resists the urge to move the hair plastered against her face out the way, and instead asks if she wants to get changed. Rey flusters for a moment, and agrees, turning to grab something light grey and flowing from a bag as Poe turns around, blushing slightly as if he was a teenager again. Poe begins to offer to leave, but Rey shushes him, telling him she’ll only be a moment.
Desperately, Poe forces himself not to listen to anything, least he actually go mad. There’s a naked, wet Rey behind you, just in case you forgot. Fuck, Poe was a bad, bad guy. He forces himself to think of anything else, about the new fighters they have, about his plans for tomorrow, about the meetings he has lined up, but his mind is on a straight track right back towards naked, wet Rey who is his friend and does not deserve to be thought of that way by someone she trusts. Soon enough, Rey tells him she’s decent, and Poe coolly twists around trying to appear unfazed, but sees what Rey’s wearing and seizes up a little. It’s the grey outfit she wore when they first met, soft and pretty and makes her skin glow. Poe has an involuntarily skip in his heart when he sees it and his lips curl into a genuine smile, because it reminds him of the night they met, and that wide grin she had when they spoke, so big and happy and sweet. She hasn’t worn the grey one much since, actually maybe not at all, preferring her other one, but this, damn, it looks amazing on her, and Poe can't help but look.
Aware he’s staring, Poe finally glances away and catches Rey moving to pick up his jacket, holding it out to return it to him. For some bizarre reason he doesn’t want to think about, Poe would prefer it if Rey would still wear it, at least for a little longer.
“No, keep it, you must still be cold,” Poe walks closer to Rey, smiling softly and nodding his head towards the jacket. Gods, he must look like such a lovesick fool. Rey grins back at him, and adjusts it on her torso as she puts it back on, clearly too big on her frame as it dwarfs and nearly hides her entire upper body.
“How do I look? Is this a very fashionable look? I can t-tell you’re jealous, I wear this better than you d-do,” Rey teases, laughing breathlessly, teeth still chattering, while Poe just smiles serenely and nods along, letting his head drop as he feels the heat in his cheeks rise, looking back up at Rey under his lashes.
“You’re right, you do look better than me in it,” and with that, Rey freezes, and her hands clutching the jacket where she’s pulled it tighter around herself when she hears the tone Poe's using, “make sure you keep it on until you’re warmed back up, okay?” Poe rubs his hands up and down Rey's arms, and she smiles, nodding as he clears his throat. Poe leads Rey back to the front deck of the Falcon, now filled to the brim again with returned Resistance fighters, and something inside Poe feels happily, seeing his jacket on Rey like that, surrounded by the Resistance, all well and cheering. For the first time in a long while, Poe felt like he could let his guard down, maybe just for the night, but it's a step in a direction Poe is glad to find himself following.
Well into the evening Rey wore the jacket around her shoulders, sat on the bench beside Rose as the two talked, Rose making lurid comments embarrassing Rey about something Poe wasn’t sure about, but he liked seeing Rey's blush and her face when she argued back, so wasn’t about to interrupt the girls. Truth be told, Poe could barely keep his eyes off Rey all night as the Resistance gathered around on the Falcon’s front deck to celebrate their growth, finally thriving again instead of the recent dark losses they’ve faced.
Finn caught on far too soon for Poe's liking to his blatant staring, nudging Poe and mouthing extremely obviously, with head tilts and raised eyebrows, “You like Rey?” until Poe lowly admitted it, and told him to shut up. Finn giddily started punching Poe’s arms in excitement, slapping the pilot until Poe shoved him over to Chewie, who immediately gathered a falling Finn in a hug.
By the time it got really late, it was only the few who still slept on the Falcon left aboard. Leia and Connix went to their room, Chewie to his, and Finn passed out on the floor with BB-8 beside him, drawing something on his face with a marker. Poe looked over and saw Rey curled up on the bench, still wearing his jacket like a blanket all curled up, while Rose was passed out on a nearby chair. Heart warmed right through, Poe decides without second thought to pick Rey up and carry her to her room.
Scooping her up as gently as he could, Poe settles Rey in his arms and walks slowly and softly to the back of the ship. Rey shifts, and smushes her face in Poe’s chest, sighing peacefully as she quietens down again. Poe looks down and feels his heart expand beyond his chest, a small smile of wonder on his lips as he walks through the threshold of the room and lightly places Rey down on the bed. She fusses for a moment, frowning, before she latches onto Poe’s shirt collar and pulls him down, smiling contently as he fumbles on the bed alongside her.
Rattled, Poe tries to right himself, but Rey’s grip is too strong to pull against without entirely waking her up. Whispering softly, Poe tries to pry Rey's hands off to let him go, and when that fails tries talking his way out.
“I’ll see you in the morning, and in the meantime you can dream about the handsome pilot who owns good jackets that keep getting stolen,” Poe grins as Rey sleepily lets go and shuffles further into his jacket, and acting, on his terrible and wonderful instincts, Poe leans down and kisses Rey’s forehead, hesitating a moment before leaning back and leaving the room, knowing he left more than just his jacket in there with Rey.
By the time he returns to the flight deck, Finn’s snoring has become obnoxious, and Rose is awake too, helping BB-8 draw a new hairline on Finn. At Poe’s arrival, Rose and BB-8 both freeze, and turn slowly to face Poe.
“I swear it’s not what it looks like.”
Poe stares at Rose for a moment.
“I’ll won’t say anything if you give him a monobrow.”
Rose raises one eyebrow.
“You’ve got yourself a deal, flyboy.”
*
The sunrises, and Rey blearily opens her eyes against it, blinking herself awake. Turning, she sees Rose still asleep, snoring softly from her bunk, a pen fallen on the floor close to where her hand is stretched towards. With a small smile, Rey sits up, and pulls at the muscles in her back, feeling her blanket fall off her chest to the bed. Looking down she notices it’s still Poe’s jacket, which she must have kept through the night. Feeling her face heat up, Rey remembers flashes of the raucous night before, but decides not to think about it right then, opting to go grab something to drink first before she considers that minefield. After a moment of hesitation, she throws the jacket on again. In case she bumps into Poe, she can always thank him and hand it back before she gets called away to do something else. Right, that's why, perfectly logical.
Rey makes it to the sink, passing by Chewie at the table fixing up his vest, BB-8 offering up tools as Chewie requests them. Rey grins, and drinks from her mug by the sink, happy to be in her little bubble with her little family for a little while longer.
It lasts as long as it could, as Finn – passed out on the floor where Rey hadn’t noticed yet – jolts awake with a tiny screech that he immediately cuts off as he notices his audience. Coughing slightly, he stands up, trying to be smooth, and nods his head to Rey as he passes by next to her to grab a drink of water. Rey smirks and lets out a chuckle when she sees him up close, prompting Finn to raise his eyebrow at her. Rey shakes her head mock-solemnly, and keeps drinking the warm coffee as Finn joins her by her perch.
Finn turns to Rey but remains silent, and she tilts her head questioningly at him. Sighing, he drops his shoulders and speak lowly.
“You got a minute to talk?” Finn asks, and Rey, concerned at his tone, nods quickly, and they both leave their mugs on the side of the sink and go to the conference booth near the back of the Falcon, hardly touched by the regulars who still sleep on the Falcon now and sure fire private place to talk.
“You alright Finn? Has something happened?” Rey’s anxiety kicked in the moment they sat down, and she wished she could feel for her lightsaber right now, anything to protect her friends with, to fight with.
“No. I mean, yeah I’m fine – and no, nothing’s happened,” Finn inhales, and then continues in a fumbling, messy rush, “well, something has happened – but it’s good! I think,” he frowns down at his hands laced together on the table pursing his lips together awkwardly, and Rey turns to face him fully.
“Tell me what happened, Finn.” Her no-nonsense tone forced Finn to look up, so he made eye contact, and when he caught the steel in Rey’s eyes, blurted it out.
“I think I like Rose. I think I really like Rose. We kissed but now we’re not talking about it but it definitely happened but she kissed me and then passed out afterwards so I don’t know what to do or if she remembers but she’s really nice and pretty and smart and I’m worried what to do, and I needed to talk to you about it because you’re smart too,” at Rey’s lone raised eyebrow and blank stare, Finn hastily adds on “and nice and pretty! I just don’t know what to do, Rey.” Finn looks over at Rey, and continues in a serious tone, voice low. “And I miss you a lot too, and I wish you would talk to me about what happened. Or talk to anyone about what you did out there, so you realize you’re not alone in this. I see the way you look when you think you're alone Rey, and believe me, you can't get rid of us now.”
Finn takes a hand and places it over one of Rey’s, and he barely sees the tears in her eyes before she latches onto him and hugs him tightly, arms shaking slightly around his neck, but she holds on tight.
Finn returns the hug with all he has, and they stay like that, for a soft moment. Eventually, Rey pulls back exhaling, and immediately punches Finn’s arm.
“Ow hey! Wha- why did you do that?!” Finn rubs his arm affronted, and Rey shoves a finger against his chest.
“You didn’t immediately tell me about this thing going on with Rose! I had to hear it from her first!”
“Rose told you about it?!”
“And you should have known you could come to me about this sort of stuff, even if we both lack any actual experience I’m clearly the one with more common sense.” Finn shrugs, not even phased by this fact. “But more than that," and Rey's tone shifts, and becomes something kinder and softer, "thank you, Finn.” Rey’s face melts into something heartbreaking and happy, something more like the girl Finn knows is still in there.
They both smile, and Finn nods, “I’ve always got your back Rey, no matter what happens.”
Rey puts her hand on top of his, and looks at him. “I felt so alone out there. I still do, and I’m terrified of what’s happened and what’s going to happen to us. But we’ll be ready, all of us, together.” Rey turn, staring out at something beyond them. “I know I’m not alone, not really, but it might take some time to remember that,” Rey grins, ducking her chin, “there’s some really good people we’ve meet here, Finn.”
Both smile wistfully, and then the moment has passed, as Rey turns more forcefully to Finn and sits crossed-legged on the seat. “Now, about Rose.”
“Oh man, help me out here boss, I got no clue what I’m doing,” Finn groans and lets his head collapse onto his arms crossed on the table. Rey laughs and claps his back.
“Well, first of all, you’re going to find Rose the minute she’s up and tell her you like her in a romantic way, ” when Finn starts to groan loader, Rey talks loudly over him, “oh no you don’t, she kissed you first – she made the first move! And you’ve done nothing to show your feelings, so one tiny confession won’t kill you.”
“You don’t know that.” Finn mutters, but Rey whacks him on the back of his head and he promptly shuts up.
“Talk to her, she’ll never know how you feel until you tell her, and then the worst that could happen is that she’s changed her mind, though I very much doubt that,” Rey stresses the last phrase, tilting her head and raising her eyebrows as she nods at Finn to catch her meaning.
“Oh, oh! Because, I mean, you guys talked right?” Rey gave him a sharp look, and Finn quickly tacks on, “but you told me nothing!” Rey nods happily, and the two share a look for a moment before dissolving into laughter against each other.
Finn nudges Rey in the ribs as they finish laughing, and Rey smiles back at him.
“And what about you?” Finn asks innocently enough, turning so his ankle is propped up on his other knee and has his hands folded in front of him, causing Rey to instantly be wary.
“What to do you mean?” Rey can see the glisten in his eyes, and instantly checks for her closest exits.
“Just curious, anyone in particular catch your eye?” Rey rolls her neck back and she chuckles manically, waving her hand at Finn as she slides out of the chair as smoothly as she can whilst fake-laughing to cover up her incredibly obvious escape.
“So you’re just still wearing Poe’s jacket because you’re interested in the style?”
“That’s what you’re doing!” Rey accused pointing her finger at him, and Finn raises both of his hands in defense.
“Woah hey you’re not wrong there, but his jacket actually fits me and he had plenty more to spare, I have a feeling that jacket you're wearing may not be practical and also his last one, young Jedi warrior,” Finn finishes with a funny voice, pointing to where Rey's hands are covered by the too-long sleeves, and Rey folds her arms self-consciously.
Gently and surprised by her reaction, Finn conciliates Rey. “Hey, I’m not trying to embarrass you or anything, Rey. Just, if you wanna talk, I’m here.” Finn looks at her in the eyes, apologetic and serious, and Rey appreciates the gesture.
“Thanks Finn, but it’s really nothing. Poe’s just a good guy, we all know that,” Rey shrugs and Finn frowns, ready to say more, but Rey waves her hands and turns to the doors. She reaches the exit, before she stops and turns back around.
“By the way, I like the new look you’ve got going on,” Rey motions to her face and sends him a considering nod and thumbs up as she leaves, smirking to herself as she hears Finn race over to find something to look at himself with. Hearing him curse loudly and a tap immediately start up, Rey walks away, calling back “talk to her!” And hears a loud crash, another curse, and she leaves, cackling.
*
Poe wakes up to find BB-8 and Chewie playing cards over Chewie’s morning drink, with Leia and Connix walking out of the ship fully dressed and ready to meet with more Resistance fighters coming in to help support General Organa's rebel cause once more. Deciding to eat his breakfast first, Poe settles on the table with Chewie and BB-8 just as Rey walks in, yelling something over her shoulder behind her. When she sees the three of them at the table she stops in her stride, face frozen for a split second before resuming her walk to grab a mug from the sink and sit beside Poe, slowly seating herself and grabbing food from the spread on the table Chewie must have prepared.
Poe passes her a slice of toast and Rey smiles, her eyes warm and Poe’s heart skips a beat before kicking back into speed.
Coughing to clear his throat, and also frankly to gain Rey’s attention as she spreads jam on her slice of bread, Poe asks, “how did you sleep?”
For some reason, Rey flushes, laughing as she hastily eats a bite of her toast and chews for a while, motioning widely to her full mouth in a hasty apology. Poe chuckles, and reaches over Rey for more food, feeling her tense up beside him before she quickly relaxes and settles back in her seat. Poe frowned to himself as he moves his arm back, wondering if maybe Rey feels uncomfortable around Poe, if maybe he's being too forward and weird about how he feels in front of her, and decides to make sure he gives Rey more space if that's what she wants, to probably ease up on his staring and obvious excuses to visit her.
Just as the dark thoughts have formed, Rey finally answers him. “I slept really well, thanks again for, uh, carrying me to bed,” Rey rushes to finish the sentence, and rubs the back of her neck, but sleeves of Poe’s jacket in the way of her reaching. “Must have been weird, sorry about that.”
“It wasn’t, trust me. I’m glad you slept well,” Poe caught Rey staring at him and felt powerless to look away; both totally unaware Chewie and BB-8 were watching them too with interested gazes.
But all four of them freeze as they hear a yelp from another room on the Falcon, and Chewie yells back to ask what’s going on. After a moment of silence and no response, BB-8 trots off to see what’s going on, and Poe takes another bite of his breakfast.
Once Rey’s finished her drink, she hesitates for a moment before finally pulling off the jacket. Poe feels his stomach drop and disappointment settle in. He really liked seeing Rey wear it. He'll admit, maybe a little too much, but it made him smile whenever she wore it, a piece of him with her. Poe doubts he could push for Rey to keep it without seeming really weird about it, so resignedly takes the jacket back as Rey thanks him for it, shrugging it on, smelling a hint of Rey’s clean scent on the collar before he snaps himself out of sniffing it further and looking crazy in front of Rey and Chewie.
“It’s a really nice jacket, thanks again for letting me borrow it Poe.” Rey put her hand on Poe’s thigh for a slight moment, patting him, before turning back to her toast, and it took everything in Poe to not stay forever stuck in that position. All his mind could focus on was Rey’s hand Rey’s hand oh gods that was Rey’s hand and Poe was lost in his own head for a moment as his thoughts spiralled. He looked down, and slowly rubbed his thigh over where Rey’s hand had lingered, trying to trace the phantom touch but hopeless to find anything he did that compares to the real thing.
Rey's face was completely covered with her hair draping across it, but Poe could see the red in her cheeks through the tresses, and felt something like hope bubble up in his chest, that maybe Rey felt something like he did, and maybe she's dropping hints and it isn't all in his head.
Cut from his musings, Poe turns his head as he hears BB-8 return, buzzing about his newfound news.
“Friends! My other friends, Rose and Finn, shrieked from joy! They have exchanged their affections for each other! They are each other’s friends now too!” BB-8 excitedly chirps, and both Rey and Poe laugh, sensing perhaps this is a little more than just two people being friends.
Poe notices Rey’s easy going chuckle and pleased smile, and turns to her surprised. “Did Finn tell you?”
Smiling, Rey nods. “This morning, I told him he better confess to Rose, or else.”
Poe smirks. “Oh ho, what do you mean by ‘or else'? Is there a thinly veiled threat lurking in that conversation, I see?”
“No! Well, yeah maybe, but it’s more than that. Finn really needs to tell Rose how he feels before it gets, you know, weird between them, before Rose starts to second guess herself, before it’s too late.” Rey finishes solemnly. Seeing Poe’s eyebrow go up, Rey carries on. “I mean, if you found someone you wanted to be with, in a serious, for-the-rest-of-your-life kind of way, would you want to look back and think you’ve wasted time you could have spent with them just waiting around in fear? For me, I’d want every day I could get.” Rey gets out, voice full of emotion. She inhales deeply, and lets it out slowly, and Poe feels like throwing up the flurry of angry and ugly moths swarming around in his stomach.
Gods, Poe feels like telling Rey right there and then how he feels, how he can easily see himself waking up in thirty years with her by his side, telling him all the small things that pass by in her mind, about the things she cares about and the things she loves and the things she's lost. He wants to thread his fingers through her hair, his hand resting on her head as she lies across his chest, her hand placed over his heart, a ring glistening on her fourth finger matching his. Poe desperately feels that pang of want rush through him, but feels like he’s a thousand years between where he is right now and where he wants to be. At the end of the day, he's just not that brave to risk what he has with Rey right now, an he might just have to make peace with that.
BB-8 comes closer to them, and Poe jumps as his buddy manages roll directly in front of where Rey sits at the table.
“Hey Poe, are you and my friend Rey also friends?” Introducing the worst wingman in the world; BB-8 sure can put two people on the spot. Poe swears he added in more empathetic programming to BB-8 recently to avoid situations like this, maybe it wasn't clear enough though for the little droid to not know to not ask questions like that. Poe stutters a few times, but thankfully Rey steps in before Poe can fumble his way through an answer that doesn't make him a liar but equally doesn't show how hopelessly devoted he is to Rey and scare her away before he even tells her he likes her.
“Me and Poe are friends BB-8, but not in the way that Rose and Finn are.” She smiles at the droid, thinking it’s all cleared up as she finishes her toast.
“But you both smile at each other like Rose and Finn. And you both stare at each other like Rose and Finn. You both find reasons to be around each other like –” Suddenly, a huge crash from the next room alerts a horribly embarrassed Rey and despairingly mortified Poe to something else besides the far too chatty and observant droid they’ve both adopted.
Stumbling through, Finn runs straight towards BB-8, Rose right on his heels. While Finn squats down to the droid and has a word as he pushes them further away from the table and around to where Poe sits at the back of the room, Rose distracts the pair and Chewie from hearing what Finn says by loudly laughing nervously and asking how their day’s going.
Rey, surely confused and reeling from what happened, slowly tells her they're fine, and offers a sly congratulations to a stuttering and rosy-cheeked Rose. Rose looks down and grins widely showing her teeth and all, and Poe feels like he's been kicked in the heart. Gods, all he wants is for Rey to smile at him like that, or for Rey to smile that widely because she’s thinking about him. And that's the most hopeless dream Poe can safely say he's had in his whole life.
Poe looks over to see Finn still talking to BB-8, but it looks like a less than friendly conversation from his seat, with Finn pointing a finger at the droid and repeatedly poking at it. Leaning over, Poe tries to hear more clearly what they’re talking about.
“You were not meant to be so obvious! We had a plan! Gentle push remember, you were meant to gently push them to talk, man sometimes I feel like you're doing this to me because you don't like me or something, and that's just crazy –”
“NO POE!”
The pilot jumps a foot in the air and looks over, BB-8 letting out a beep of surprise as everyone else turns to look at Rose too, who let out the shriek. Stunned, Poe slowly sits back down from where he had been leaning over and stares at Rose, slightly-definitely-completely terrified of what he's done wrong, like a child about to be scolded by their mother. Instantly Poe thinks back to all the times Leia yelled out his full name when he managed to make a big mistake, and feels his insides become cold and tenses up just from muscle memory. You do not want to be on the bad side of Princess Leia Organa, General of the Resistance and mom figure to all.
“Um, I mean, no Poe, you haven't told me about your plans for today yet! Whaaat that's crazy, are you going to help Rey stock up more food for the Falcon's next flight?” Rose asked inquisitively and aiming for nonchalant despite her outburst not two seconds ago, looking far too innocent to actually pull it off.
“Oh, uh, if Rey wants my help, I'd be happy to join.”
“Sure, that'd be nice,” Rey answers politely, but something feels oddly unfinished between them. It's like they've opened up something and can't go back and ignore it like they've done before, and Poe knows exactly what it is. BB-8's comment about how him and Rey look and act around each other has definitely forced them both to gather some outward perspective on the whole thing going on between them, and Poe knows he has to stop day dreaming and come back to the real world, to cut the pining and face facts before this whole things blows up in his face.
BB-8 meanders away in a huff, and Finn sighs, getting up and collapsing at the table, taking Poe’s mug and downing it in one gulp. Ignoring Poe’s offended stare, Finn groans and looks to Rose, who frowns and sits down too. They both stay like that, and Rey, Poe, and Chewie look to one another in confusion.
“Are, are you guys alright?” Rey asks to break the weird silence settling around them, concerned about the two, who should be frankly pretty happy right around now, but both of them sigh in unison, and mumble something unintelligible as they grab plates and mugs. Before Poe or Rey can push the forlorn couple further, Leia walks in, taking note of the somber mood of the room, and curses under her breath. She tries to walk back out discretely without anyone noticing, but Poe has already clearly seen her, and C-3PO chatters away as he climbs aboard behind her, announcing to the rest of the ship their arrival. Leia sighs deeply, her head dropping as she pinches the bridge of her nose briefly, before moving to grab a drink.
“Well, what’s happened here?” Leia asks cutting the new silence that fell in her wake, bracing herself for anything coming from a group of such young idiots, and Chewie walks up to her and tells Leia he has absolutely no idea what's been going on for the past twenty minutes. Nodding in complete understanding, Leia sips her scolding hot drink like it’s nothing, making eye contact with each of the four young people, before sighing again and closing her eyes, praying for strength.
“Right, well, all of you better find something productive to do before the day's over,” and they all begin to file out with the flick of Leia's dismissive wrist, grumbling about something or another, Finn and Rose piling a plate and their mouths full of food before they leave. But before she can get to work on communication with other Resistance bases courtesy of Maz's plans, Leia notices Rey’s closed eyes, the girl's frown smoothing into something tranquil, peaceful, calm, as her whole body stills amidst the chaos of the Falcon around her, and Leia knows exactly what she’s doing, or where she's gone. Closing her own eyes for a fraction of a second, Leia joins her.
*
“Nice place you got here,” Leia muses loudly from her step above the icy cold water that Rey’s huddled form is staring at across the way, her voice echoing all around the cave.
Jolting to an upright position, Rey gasps when she sees Leia stand before her.
“Oh what, didn’t think I could follow you here? We both know our ways around the Force my dear, now,” Leia walks over and finds a smooth rock in the cavern Rey’s taken them too, and sits down. “Tell me what’s on your mind, kid.”
Rey hesitates for a minute before walking over to sit beside Leia. She fiddles with her fingers for a moment, before looking up and staring out across the water, silence thick in the air.
“I’m in love with Poe.”
Leia’s expression goes from curious to shocked in less than a second, before turning pensive.
“Huh, you and Poe… Yeah, I think I can see that,” Leia considers, seeing a brief flash of little rebellious children with dark hair demanding to be lifted in the air and flown around the room, but Rey shakes her head furiously.
“No! No, he doesn’t like me like that, the idea of us together freaks him out,” Rey starts, but Leia interrupts with a hand.
“And how do you know that? He tell that you to your face?” Leia demands, and at Rey’s refusal to make eye contact, Leia harrumphs, and takes one of Rey’s hands in her own.
“If you love him, tell him." Leia implores, but Rey refuses to listen.
“But it's not that easy is it? Every time I think of telling him, something inside stops me. I'm not an easy person to be around for long, Leia. People leave me, it's what they do. I'm a nobody from nowhere, and now I should just go off and see if I can make a relationship I really care about work when we’re in the middle of a battlefield? How can I ask for something more from him when we’re busy just trying to stay alive?”
Leia notices how Rey's trying to hold back, and instead of allowing Rey to repress like she imagines the girl has done her whole life, Leia engulfs the girl in a hug, gently stroking her back and murmuring to Rey that it's okay.
And that’s all it takes.
Rey’s crying a fierce storm before Leia finishes speaking, clutching tightly to Leia as she shakes. Rey spills everything inside her, telling Leia how scared she is. But when Rey starts to apologize again for everything that happened with Ben and Luke and Han, Leia senses Rey's struggling to cope, and shushes her dark thoughts away. Rey refuses to stop apologizing, and eventually Leia pulls back to look Rey in the eyes, firmly holding her in place.
“Listen to me Rey. You have nothing to apologize for. You did nothing wrong. You fought for us all; for the good in the galaxy. Now listen to me; it’s not your fault you couldn’t bring my son back . Not even his father could. You’ve given us so much Rey, you’re the reason the Resistance breathes today. You cannot burden this guilt on your shoulders, it isn't yours to bear.” Leia rubs Rey’s shoulders as the terribly young girl wipes her eyes, her shaking calming down.
Leia pauses briefly for a moment, before she continues. “I fell in love with Han during the Rebel’s war against the Empire." Rey immediately looks up, eyes wide and wet as she hears Leia for the first time voluntarily talk about her and Han's past relationship. "We were in a warzone similar to this one, friends dropping around us like flies, but I still fell for him, and hard. Oh, I would spend days wondering if we would make it out of the whole mess alive whilst trying to run a rebellion, wondering if it would be worth it to put my heart into someone's hands who might leave me, but I found out that they don’t leave. Even if they can’t come back in the end, they’re still here. Their love is always with us, Rey. Don't overthink this. Don’t live your life in fear. You never know what will happen or how long you'll have together, trust me. ”
And suddenly, just as quickly as the emotions welled up and burst from her they quietly sank away, and Rey hears the echo of Leia's voice in the cave as she feels herself return to the present.
Rey gasps as if desperate for air as she resurfaces in the moment, seeing Poe above her halt in his rise from his seat as he hears Rey beside him gasp. Finn and Rose stop too, concerned, but Rey just turn to Leia instead, who merely smiles and waves at Rey as she moves into the next room. C-3PO follows, and soon Rose and Finn leave, and Rey sits there, her heart beating so fast.
A gentle but firm grasp on her shoulder brings her back out of her head again, and she looks up as she instinctually reaches out to hold onto the hand, knowing whose it is. Poe’s eyes, his beautiful eyes, stare down at her in concern, his brow furrowed, and lips tightly pursed. Rey clutches his hand and squeezes, smiling past the wetness she can feel still welled up in her eyes. She nods, and holds on for another moment before letting go, standing up and asking Poe if he still wants to help her with the food.
Confused, Poe agrees, and follows Rey off the Falcon.
Leia watches from her window, and feels something in heart heal, just for a brief moment.
*
They walk to the nearby market together, a not particularly hospitable place, but full of non-perishable foods the crew wouldn’t complain too much about. Poe sets about carrying the things Rey collects, their hands brushing more times than Poe could count, and each time he catches Rey’s quick stare as she looks at him and then turns hastily elsewhere. Poe feels the inside of his stomach churn, and he’s seconds away from telling her each time how he feels, like he’s invincible when he’s around her, like anything’s possible. She’s a spark that keeps him going even during his darkest days, and oh gods is Poe in love with her.
He stops in his tracks, Rey walking up ahead unaware as Poe stands there, realizing that this is the first moment he's actually acknowledged it, that he's in love with Rey. Because if he got to be with Rey, it wouldn’t be a fling, or a small tryst, or end as them being friends. It was always something more for Poe, something in his gut telling him this isn’t meaningless or a last resort situation; Poe's serious about what this could be before it’s even begun.
He’s still standing there when Rey notices, and she turns, head cocked to the side and frowning at him. He knows she’s silently asking him what’s wrong, but Poe can’t find the words in that moment to tell her how right everything is.
Shaking his head, he catches up to Rey, and leans close to her, their shoulders nearly constantly brushing as they walk. Rey does nothing to stop it, and Poe finds himself eagerly awaiting their journey back to the Falcon, hoping he will find a moment to tell Rey how he feels, and feeling his hopes rise with every smile Rey makes whenever Poe tells an awful joke to her.
Unfortunately, Poe soon gets dragged away by an irritated Connix to go to more required meetings that he's already "extremely late to", as Rey's tasked with testing out some of the x-wing fighter’s shooters for accuracy, and Poe finds himself immensely jealous on multiple levels. By the time they find a moment together again, the day has passed and night's fallen, and Poe is out looking for where Rey is. Chewie tells him that he hasn’t seen her back on the Falcon in hours, so Poe goes to find her, going to place he knows she likes.
Pacing around, Poe eventually steps outside onto the planet’s surface, seeing the stars above him shine bright. It’s breathtaking, and he takes a moment to look, knowing this is something Rey would love to see, when he hears footsteps come closer behind him. Turning, he grins, and meets Rey where she stands.
“Heard you were looking for me?” Rey smiles sweetly, a hint of teasing in her tone, and Poe can tell his face is probably composed in an utterly besotted expression, but right now he doesn’t care.
“Yeah, you got a minute?” Rey nods, and they both sit on the ledge overlooking the city, far enough away from the Resistance base to have a little privacy. They both let their legs dangle over the edge as they sit, and Rey leans back, admiring the sight.
“It’s beautiful, isn’t it?” She says, looking truly content as she gazes up at the sky, and Poe feels his heart skip a beat as he stares, so comfortable to spend his whole life like this.
“Yeah, it really is.” Poe leans over, and places his hand on top of Rey’s. She instantly looks over and down, blushing as she slowly twines their fingers together. Poe feels himself stop breathing for a moment, and they both look into each other’s eyes, Rey peering at him beneath her eyelashes shyly.
They’re so close Poe can both feel her breath on his face, and he doesn’t know how long he’s been staring but frankly he couldn’t care less.
He whispers, feeling like if he talked any louder the stars would fall and the night would collapse around them, everything in this moment too special and delicate and magic to chance ruining. “Rey, you – you need to know how you make me feel, gods, you make me feel so much, Rey.” Poe’s other hand reaches up to brush some of Rey’s hair out of her face, and Rey stares wide-eyed and entirely surprised, her pulse rabbiting along on her wrist where Poe can feel it on his palm. He rests his hand on her cheek and smiles happily, caressing his thumb along her cheekbone.
“I don’t know how you feel but –”
“I’m in love with you,” a blurred, messy rush of words, but Poe could feel that phrase ingrained on his skin the second they left her lips. Almost as if he were on a rush, like the feeling he gets in his heart and stomach whenever he jumps into an x-wing. Pure happiness, a voice in his head supplies, but Poe can’t quite wrap his head around it.
“Wait, you –”
“Yeah, I’m in love with you. Have been for a while, but sorry I interrupted you, what were you going to say?” Skittish and nervous but stubborn about it, Rey refuses to back down or make eye contact, but Poe ducks down to meet her gaze.
“Oh, not much,” Rey pulls away on an exhale, but Poe crowds her back in, “just that I’m completely in love with you,” Rey snaps her eyes back and stares as Poe’s grin stretches a mile wide, his eyes nearly squinting shut in pure joy.
“Are you serious?”
“Deadly.”
“Love? Love. Love. As in just affection, or full, blown-out love? I mean, love that you feel for friends, or love as in, more than friends? No wait, you said ‘in love’ and that’s definitely different to friends. I know that now, Rose told me the difference.” Rey took a breath, calming herself in the hopes of ending her babbling as Poe’s shoulders bounce restlessly as he tries to contain his laughter silently. “Right, so just to clarify, you love me and I love you, which is good, right?”
“Oh I’m sorry, did you say love? I think I missed that.”
Rey slaps his arm as he laughs, and she fixes him a look before bursting out in giggles herself.
As their laughter fade, Rey faces Poe once again.
A whisper. “What now?”
A sweet smile. “Whatever you want.”
The moon shines overhead, and for a moment, the galaxy holds its breath as the two meet.
And they meet clumsily, bumping into each other and feeling the other's skin on their own softly, and they meet so gently that the kiss fills the cracks in their hearts they have both let bleed and pour out far too much.
Poe leans back, sees Rey’s eyes are closed and her lips shiny pink and pouting, and brushes his thumb over them. Her eyes slowly open, still hooded, and she grins breathlessly, matching Poe’s, and he leans in again. And again, and again.
They sit there, against the dying night sky around them, and both breath in the air with the person they've finally found who makes them feel not alone anymore, who makes them feel like they're fighting to be alive, and not just to live another day.
Poe tightens his arms around Rey and she clutches closer to Poe's waist.
This is something worth living for.