Chapter Text
“Rogers! You have a visitor.”
Steve lifted his head, surprised. In the two and a half years he’d been in prison, he’d never once had a visitor. Well, that wasn’t quite true. Captain America fanatics had visited him by the truck loads at first, but it hadn’t taken long for the warden of the prison to clamp down on that. Steve had been required to write up a list of visitors that he knew personally, and only those people would be permitted. He’d put everyone he could think of on that list, from Natasha to Fury, and still no one had come.
“Who is it?” he asked.
The guard rolled her eyes. “I don’t know. I don’t care. Get a move on.”
He stood up, allowed his hands and legs to be cuffed, and fell into place behind her as she strode down the hall. Steve spent most of his time in protective custody, as there were plenty of criminals who would love to get a piece of a former Avenger. He’d insisted on being with the general population at first. But after getting his ass thoroughly kicked several times, the choice had been taken out of his hands.
It had been difficult getting used to his pre-serum body again. Without the serum, he couldn’t defend himself nearly as well. Punches ghosted off of people instead of sending them across the room. Injuries took weeks or months to heal instead of minutes or hours. This body didn’t bend or twist or jump or dodge the way he was used to; it ran out of strength and breath pathetically fast. Even the short walk to the visiting room left him winded.
“Over there,” the guard said briskly, gesturing. “Remember the rules. No contact. Hands on the table at all times.”
Steve nodded, too breathless to answer… but not because of the walk. He could hardly believe his eyes. Sitting at the table was none other than Bucky Barnes and Natasha Romanov. He walked over to them slowly, wanting nothing more than to throw himself at Bucky. But he could feel the guard’s eyes burning into his back, and neither Bucky nor Natasha rose to meet him, so he took a seat instead.
“Steve,” Bucky said. Hearing his voice made Steve’s throat tighten up. He stared at Bucky, eagerly drinking in the details. Gone was the wild-eyed, thin, anguished madman who had almost killed Steve. In his place was a man who could pass for anyone from the twenty-first century: Bucky’s hair was still long, but it was cut and styled nicely. His clothing was nice too, fitting him well enough to reveal that he’d gained some badly needed weight. His eyes were clear and aware and focused.
“Buck,” he said emotionally, wishing he could touch Bucky’s hand to make sure he was real, that this wasn’t just some wonderful dream. “How… how is this possible? You didn’t even know who I was the last time we met.” He leaned forward a little. If this was Natasha’s doing, Steve would owe her his life.
“It’s taken a lot of work,” said Bucky. Even his voice sounded different, smoother. “I didn’t even know who I was for the longest time. Hydra had me really fucked up.” He lowered his head, speaking his last sentence so quietly that Steve had to strain to hear.
“But you’re okay now. You remember,” Steve whispered. It was everything he’d longed for ever since he’d found out Bucky was still alive. He’d lost several nights to grief over the past couple of years, positive that, without Steve around to fight for him, Bucky would be lost to Hydra forever. He’d never imagined that Bucky would show up out of the blue.
He’d fantasized, once in a while, about what might happen after he got out of prison. He’d dreamt about finding Bucky and bringing him home: the triumphant return of Steve Rogers and Bucky Barnes. Of course, he’d never pictured their reunion quite like this. He’d thought that he would still have the serum and that several months would need to be devoted to Bucky getting his memories back, but that eventually they’d be an unstopped team.
Instead, Bucky was shaking his head. “Not everything. Most of it is still a blur to me. My therapist tells me I might never remember. I get flashes or dreams sometimes of new… well, old things, but they’re rare.”
Steve swallowed hard. That wasn’t what he wanted to hear. “But you remember me. You came to see me.”
“Some. It took me a while to work up the nerve to come.”
“What? Why? Buck, you have to know I’m so happy you’re here –”
“I know,” Bucky interrupted. “That’s why.”
“I don’t understand,” Steve said. His heart was thudding in his ears. Bucky had needed to work up nerve to come here? To see his best friend?
“You tried to brainwash someone,” Bucky said softly. “You told that witch to brainwash Tony. How could you do that?”
Flabbergasted, unable to believe that Bucky was bringing that up, Steve automatically shook his head. “It wasn’t like that,” he said, the familiar denial coming easily to his lips. He’d explained this dozens of times: to the arresting officers, to the public defender, to the judge and jury (he’d insisted on taking the stand, even though his lawyer had suggested he not). No one seemed to understand, but surely Bucky would.
“I saw the video. Pepper told me herself what happened.” Bucky stared at him. “You know what Hydra did to me. They brainwashed me for seventy years. Seventy years, Steve!” His voice broke. He had to pause for a moment before he could continue. “And you tried to do the same thing to someone else. I had to see you to figure out why.”
“It’s not the same thing,” Steve said earnestly. “It’s really not. We weren’t going to hurt Stark. We definitely weren’t going to torture him! I just wanted him to fund the Avengers again, that’s all. So we could keep on doing our jobs.”
“But you were brainwashing him,” Bucky repeated.
“To help people,” Steve pointed out. He was frustrated that, no matter how many people he explained this to, no one seemed to understand his perspective. “I had no idea what Wanda was planning.”
“You knew she hated Tony,” Natasha said. Her voice was flat. “You had to know that giving her the opportunity to mess with Tony’s mind was a terrible idea.”
“She said all she would do was make him want to fund us again,” Steve said.
“And you took her at her word? Considering that your word is worth nothing, I would have thought you’d have known better.”
“What?”
Natasha leaned forward. “You promised me that you would tell Tony about his parents,” she said, eyes glittering dangerously. “You told me not to say anything because you thought it would be easier if you told him, and because you wanted the chance to explain about Bucky’s conditioning. Why didn’t Tony know about his parents, Steve?”
Steve opened his mouth and then closed it, a hot flush of guilt rushing through him. He remembered that conversation with Natasha. It had been much easier than he thought it would to be convince her not to tell Stark anything. He’d been sure that she would fight him on it. But instead, she’d been almost eager to let the duty remain with Steve – and she’d never brought it up again, so Steve had never had to lie.
“It was complicated,” Steve said at last. “We didn’t know for sure. We had no proof. I didn’t want to upset Stark unnecessarily.”
“Are you serious?” Natasha said. “That’s your excuse? That you didn’t have proof?!”
“We didn’t!” Steve said. “There was no point in –”
“Save it, Steve. We knew exactly what happened to the Starks, and we all know the real reason why you didn’t tell Tony. You were scared that Tony would withdraw his funding even sooner and that meant you wouldn’t be able to keep using money that was supposed to be for the team to fund your search for the Winter Soldier.”
Steve winced, and Natasha cocked her head like a shark scenting blood in the water. “That’s right. I asked Sam to help me do an audit after you were imprisoned. I wanted to know exactly how much money we were running through before I had a meeting with Tony. Imagine my surprise when I found several bills for things that weren’t sanctioned for Avengers missions. Things like flights with the quinjet, or expensive hotel stays in cities all over the world.”
Bucky had remained quiet while Natasha spoke. Now, he looked at Steve. “Is that true? Were you really running around on the dime of a man whose parents I murdered?”
“It’s not your fault,” Steve said immediately. “It wasn’t you, Bucky. I know that.”
“Don’t say that,” Bucky said, recoiling slightly.
“But it’s true! The blame lies with Hydra.”
“But I still did it. My hands still killed all those people. You can’t just say that it wasn’t my fault and expect that to make everything okay,” said Bucky. “That’s not how it works.”
“But it wasn’t your fault. And I knew Stark wouldn’t understand that.” He looked at Natasha. “Okay, yes. I went on some unofficial missions trying to track Bucky down. And no, I didn’t tell Stark about his parents. He has access to so many resources… I thought that if I could bring Bucky back, Stark might help him. Once Bucky was better, then it didn’t matter if Stark knew the truth and withdrew his help.”
“He did help me,” Bucky said softly.
“What?”
“Tony,” Natasha said, “was both furious and heartbroken when I told him the truth. He was angry mainly at you, by the way, for lying to him. But after he had some time to absorb the truth and come to terms with it, he decided that the Winter Soldier was someone who needed help. He, Jim, Sam, Vision and I worked together to figure out where the Winter Soldier was and bring him home.” She sent Bucky a fond smile, the first time she’d smiled since Steve had sat down, before her smile faded when she turned back to Steve.
“Tony is the one who gave Bucky a home in the tower, since the compound had too many people for comfort. Tony is the one who paid for Bucky’s extensive therapy sessions. Tony is the one who designed a system that removed the code words from Bucky’s brain. Tony is the one who –”
Bucky, much to Steve’s shock, put his hand in Natasha’s lap under the table. It silenced her. Then Bucky said, “The point is, you didn’t give Tony enough credit. You didn’t think about him or me at all.”
“That’s not –”
“Yes it is,” Bucky said, not allowing him the chance to speak. “You thought about yourself and what you wanted. You wanted your best friend from Brooklyn back. I’m not that person.”
“Yes you are,” Steve said. He couldn’t believe this was happening. “Bucky, you’re my friend no matter what happened.”
Bucky smiled at him. It was a sad, tired smile. “I know I am, Stevie. But you… you participated in a plan to brainwash someone, and you’re lying and stealing and committing fraud and – and I don’t even know you anymore. Where is the Steve Rogers who actually cared about other people?”
“I’m still that person! Were you not listening to me? I wanted to protect the people. I wanted to protect my team. I just needed the money to do that.”
“Was that your real reason?” Bucky asked quietly. “Or did you see Stark as a bully who resisted what you wanted him to do, and you thought he needed to be taken down a peg or two?”
Steve set his jaw. If he were being honest, he did think Tony Stark was a bully. Stark had no awareness of the little guy. He did whatever he wanted when he wanted to do it, and if someone tried to stop him he threw money around until they stepped out of the way – or he would use his considerable connections or position. It was one of many reasons why Steve had never supported Stark being an Avenger instead of a consultant. There was no way he was letting Stark throw his weight around on the team.
Bucky nodded. “That’s what I thought.” He pushed his chair back and started to get up. Natasha stood up too.
“Bucky, wait,” Steve said, suddenly panicked. He didn’t understand why Bucky was defending Stark. “Please. I’m sorry.”
“You are?” Bucky said, hesitating. “Really?”
“Yes, I am. I swear.”
“I don’t believe you,” Natasha said. “You’re not sorry for what you almost did to Tony.”
Steve wasn’t. He really wasn’t. Brainwashing and mind manipulation weren’t the best tactics, but he still thought that Stark was the bad guy here. Well, him and Wanda. The trial had revealed the full scope of Wanda’s mental health issues. They’d sent her to be tested by a psychologist, and the psychologist had labeled her with a bunch of terms like ‘antisocial personality disorder’. Steve’s public defender had called her a psychopath and lain much of the blame for their plan at her feet.
Ultimately, Wanda had been sentenced and then deported back to Sokovia. Steve had tried to find out what happened to her after that. Last he’d heard, she was in prison for life – probably in solitary, since word about Wanda’s involvement with Hydra and support of Ultron had leaked out during the course of the trial. There had been many people calling for her blood.
“I’m your friend,” he said to Bucky, ignoring Natasha entirely. “Till the end of the line, right?”
Bucky watched him for a moment without saying anything, just long enough to make Steve’s heart pound, then Bucky sighed. “We’ll always be friends, like you said. But I don’t think I can be around you right now. I’ll write to you, but this one visit was enough.”
“Enough for what? Bucky, please! I’m still the same person I always was. I did everything for you.”
“And that’s what bugs me,” Bucky said. He turned to go and suddenly Steve couldn’t stand it.
“Stark has brainwashed you somehow!” he cried. That was the only explanation for why Bucky would choose Tony over him. He surged to his feet, but his voice and behavior had drawn the attention of the guards. They rushed over, warning him to sit back down.
Their words fell on deaf ears. “Bucky!” Steve yelled. “Bucky, wait!”
He tried to follow when Bucky and Natasha were ushered out of the room, but the guards stopped him. He fought desperately, but even, if he hadn’t been handcuffed, his strength was no match for theirs. Steve was wrestled back to his cell and shoved inside. The door slammed shut behind with a heavy thunk that sounded way too final. He spun around, staring at the guard.
“You’ve lost visiting privileges for the next six months,” the guard barked. “Keep it up, Rogers, and your other privileges won’t be far behind.”
Steve didn’t care. He didn’t care about any of it. He sank to the floor, burying his face in his hands. Everything he’d done was for Bucky. He’d been aimless when he woke up from the ice; this world was too new, too different, and he had no purpose, no family and no real desire to keep going. Until he’d found out about Bucky. Bucky was a shining star in the night sky, showing Steve the way. He’d been so sure that he would be able to find Bucky, de-brainwash him and make everything right again.
Once again, Stark had prevented that from happening. It seemed like no matter what Steve wanted to do, Stark was constantly in the way. He’d been a thorn in Steve’s side since day one, from the disrespectful and arrogant attitude Stark displayed in the Helicarrier during the Battle of New York, to now. Either Stark had brainwashed Bucky – which was unlikely with Natasha and the others around – or Stark was holding something over Bucky – money, probably. Poor Bucky couldn’t afford to strike out on his own. He was basically being held hostage. It was the only thing that made sense.
He curled his hands into fists. He’d been sentenced to ten years in prison with a possibility of parole at five years for good behavior. He was going to the best goddamned prisoner in the whole world so that, in another two and a half years, Steve would be free. And then he would make it his personal mission to make sure the whole world saw what Tony Stark was really like.