Chapter Text
All I know is we said hello
So dust off your highest hopes
All I know is the pouring rain
Everything has changed
i.
“Wow,” Percy says, “thanks for finally gracing us with your presence.”
And okay. On any other day where Annabeth hadn’t spent all night (and much of the morning) studying, she would’ve had the energy to reply with a sarcastic response. But today is a different day. Today, 8 AM is much too early (not that it ever wasn’t too early in the first place) and gods, everyone is about to die if they keep talking loudly.
But the rational part of her brain knows that Percy’s teasing is well deserved. She did just stumble into the class with like three minutes to spare, but she’s tired okay? So tired that when she finally gets to her spot beside him, she sits and her head immediately finds a spot on his shoulder. She feels Percy chuckle, and he pulls her closer, wrapping an arm around her in a side-hug.
Something hiccups in her chest (but she’s gotten used to it so it’s easy to ignore), and she thinks she falls a little more in love with him when he hands her a bagel wrapped in a paper towel.
“What time did you end up sleeping?” Percy asks, brows knitting together as he leans backwards to take in her appearance. When she sits up, she regrets it, immediately feeling the loss of his warmth.
Annabeth frowns, “You know, I don’t even remember sleeping.”
“Oh.” Percy says, horrified, “Okay.”
She laughs, waving her hand absently, “So did I miss anything?”
“Aside from Professor Dionysus telling us that the Headmaster will be teaching us this portion, no. But,” he nudges his head in the direction of the chalkboard, “we’re finally learning the Patronus Charm.”
--
The class breaks off into groups, and it’s really no surprise that she ends up seated in a circle with Percy, Grover, Piper, and Jason. They’re seated in the corner of the room and she’s leaning on the wall because she’s so exhausted that sitting up is too hard.
“So who wants to go first?” Piper asks, rubbing her hands together, leaning forward. Her eyes gleam with excitement, and it’s almost like she can’t physically control herself because she seems to be shaking a little bit too. Annabeth smiles at her friend - Piper’s been excited about this since she accidentally flipped onto the lesson page when looking for information about an essay on Boggarts.
Grover is the one who speaks first. “I think Percy should go.”
“Um, why?” Percy asks.
“You have the coolest looking-”
“Wait,” Jason interrupts, holding a hand out, turning to Percy, “you can conjure a Patronus? Like, an actual corporeal one? And you never said anything?”
Percy squirms under the attention, “I mean, it’s not something that comes up in conversation. And thankfully we haven’t got any Dementors of Lethifolds roaming around for us to use them against. I also thought it would sound like bragging and I don’t want to-”
“You wouldn’t have been bragging!” Jason shakes his head vehemently.
“Besides,” Percy continues, “Grover learned it with me and Piper's been recently-”
“Thanks for taking me down with you,” Piper groans.
Percy grins - “No problem,” - and Jason turns so fast that Annabeth thinks she’s seeing double for a second. It’s almost funny how Jason looks so thoroughly betrayed.
“I’ve just been practicing,” Piper shrugs. “Doesn’t mean I’m not shite. Or a big mess. Which I still am, by the way. I just saw them practicing it third year and it didn’t look very interesting until fifth year when I actually saw their corporeal Patronuses-”
Annabeth sits up, surprised. She alternates between looking at Percy and Grover, “You two were learning to conjure Patronuses in the third year? Why-”
“We started third year,” Grover corrects, “but it was just vapor until fifth-”
She whistles, “The Patronus Charm is extremely advanced magic.” Then, sincerely, “That’s amazing.”
“It gets easier with practice,” Percy says softly.
And well, he’s looking at her with such emotion, like he’ll wait forever for her, and she’s stuck. The thing about holding eye-contact with Percy is that she never wants to look away. (Not that she would want to, but still. It’s embarrassing when she gets caught.)
“Anyway,” Jason shoots Annabeth a smirk, “you three go on, then. Show us-”
“Piper wants to go first,” Percy nudges his head in his friend’s direction.
In response, Piper shoots Percy a dirty look, “Get ready to see mist.” She rubs her hands together, exaggerating, “And Piper didn’t want to go first, by the way. I’m just doing this now because it’ll be underwhelming if I go after them.” Piper shuffles, shaking out her hands and looking as if she’s mentally preparing herself before loudly yelling the incantation.
And Piper’s right.
She does produce mist.
But the thing is, it isn’t just that. Annabeth sits up straighter, scooting closer at the swirling vortex, utterly entranced. It’s like Piper's own personal hurricane, moving with her wand movements. When the vortex grows even bigger, Annabeth leans back, surprised.
Piper sits down when it disappears, and Percy and Grover send her a grin. Piper replies with a smile and a thumbs-up.
Then, Grover sits up straighter, “I guess I’ll just get my turn over with.”
Annabeth looks at Grover, excited. She had never seen a corporeal Patronus before, and well, she figures illustrations and depictions don't hold a candle to seeing the actual thing in real life. Besides, if seeing a Patronus' incorporeal form is enough to render her speechless, she's sure a corporeal one would leave her frozen.
She can see Percy looking at her in the corner of her vision, and when she does turn, he's staring with an indecipherable emotion. Annabeth raises an eyebrow.
"Um," Percy says, "you look excited."
Annabeth swallows, "You guys have been practicing since third year?"
Percy nods, looking at her with that expression again before turning to Grover. Annabeth follows his gaze, and she sucks in a breath when she sees the animal. The goat - it's a goat - is a translucent, wonderful, shimmering thing. It prances around Grover before completely disregarding the laws of gravity by leaping up into the air, away from everyone on the floor. There's a trail that follows the Patronus as it moves, and one quick look around the room is enough to tell her that everyone else is equally as mesmerized by the Patronus Grover had conjured.
Chiron walks over to give Hufflepuff thirty points and Percy sends Grover a grin that rivals the brightness of the sun when Grover sits back down.
Annabeth stares at her friend, speechless.
Grover turns, "Percy's turn."
“Class just got dismissed, I don’t know if you heard-”
“Do it quickly,” Piper urges.
Percy sighs, "The Patronus really isn't something that should be-"
"It's supposed to be summoned in life-or-death situations, right?" Piper challenges. "Come on."
“Just imagine Grover’s, but instead of a goat, it’s a different animal.”
Annabeth snorts, “How specific, thanks.”
“Hey,” Percy nudges her, “I want it to be a surprise, okay? I wanna show you guys when we’re not pressured for time or-”
“Thanks for ensuring I get the chance to appreciate it fully,” she laughs.
Percy grins, “I don’t think you’ll ever appreciate anything more than you appreciate owls, but I can try.”
“You sure can,” she nods. “But good luck because I fucking love-”
“Trust me, I know-”
“So I think it’s time to head to class.” Grover says, cutting the two of them off amusedly, “Although you guys can feel free to stay and be late.”
“Oh shit, we have to head to Ancient Runes,” Annabeth frowns.
When she turns to say goodbye to Percy, he’s staring at the pocket-watch she had given him in their fifth year, looking at it in horror, “I have five minutes to get to Care of Magical Creatures.”
Grover laughs, “Have fun.”
Annabeth pats Percy’s back in reassurance before heading off to Ancient Runes with Grover.
ii.
“And in an interesting turn of events, it’s the Head Girl breaking the rules. What would Chiron say?”
There’s a teasing lilt in Percy’s tone, and his presence makes her sit up. In a flash, her view of the Great Lake is replaced with a truly spectacular view of her best friend. Annabeth plays along, “I could be patrolling.”
Percy laughs, “This far from the castle?”
“Or I could’ve followed you when I noticed you leaving the castle.” She scoots, nudging her head at the emptied space as an invitation for him to sit.
"Oh no, whatever will I do without five precious-"
Annabeth tsks, "Please. I was thinking something along the lines of fifty-"
"You wouldn't-" Percy shakes his head, eyes wide.
She holds his stare, trying to stop a smile from forming because that would ruin the whole thing she's trying for, "Try me."
And the way Percy sends her a heated look makes the air sizzle around them. Annabeth attributes it to Percy’s arrival, to the coming of another person’s body heat. Hell, it’s late - she’s allowed to hope, right? So she doesn’t look away and instead lets herself believe that there’s something more, that she’s not hallucinating that when he swallows, he does so shakily, eyes darting to her lips for the quickest second.
Well, alright.
Armed with a restraint she didn't know she possessed, Annabeth turns back to face the lake. "Why'd you come out here?"
"Piper told me you got a letter from your father," he shifts closer, "and I just wanted to know if everything's okay."
Annabeth shrugs, "It's fine. I just get... It's fine."
"Hey, it's me. You're not obligated to tell me everything, but I am here for you."
"It's nothing. My stepmother just wrote to ask if I was going to be coming by for the holidays."
Percy takes her hand and squeezes it. Annabeth shifts closer to him, and he's just so, so warm, so she stays there. Her head moves to rest on his shoulder before she can even think about it, and, well, recoiling back after that wouldn't be right so she stays, even if her neck is a little uncomfortable.
Besides, he isn't recoiling either, so she must be doing something right, right?
In fact, instead of recoiling, Percy brings an arm around her waist, properly tucking her into his side, "You're cold."
"It's what happens when you sit in the cold for a long time," she hums.
Percy laughs, "How long were you out here?"
"A while," she answers. "Sorry I didn't give you a warning. I know we were supposed to meet up tonight-"
"You’re fine. It doesn’t matter."
She sends him a small smile.
And there's a certain kind of comfort in her friendship with Percy, a reliability she had never thought she'd ever experience with someone. He makes her feel a certain kind of security, a certain kind of permanence. Her mind wanders and when she catches up with her thoughts, the realization that she could spend forever with him, that she might be in love with her best friend, makes a breath stutter out of her.
Percy turns in an instant, "Everything okay?"
Annabeth doesn't want to tell him. She'd probably rather die than tell him, so she changes the subject. "Why'd you learn how to do the Patronus Charm so early?"
He begins to play with her fingers, "I was worried about my mom. We didn't have enough for an owl so I wasn't able to send her letters as often as I'd hoped. And the thing about my mom is that she'd lie to stop me from worrying, and normally I'd be able to tell when she's lying, but it gets hard when I'm just reading words. So I wanted something more frequent, one where I could actually make sure she was okay. I don't really know if sending my messages through Patronus helped stop her from stretching the truth, but learning the charm did help me communicate with her freely. It was instant, I'd send a message with mine and she'd reply back with hers."
"Gods, Perce," she breathes. "We hadn't even learned how to do a proper summoning charm yet."
"It's family."
She squeezes his hand, "So you send them frequently?"
"Not anymore," Percy shakes his head, "She’s very happy with Paul. They’re good for each other, I think. They balance each other out and they’re- besides, Jason lets me borrow his owl whenever I need anything."
"That's very kind of him."
Percy nods.
She bites her lip. It’s getting harder and harder to look at him when he keeps looking at her like that. He has to stop. Annabeth closes her eyes briefly and shakes her head. She clears her throat, “So do you think you could show me your Patronus?”
He frowns, "It's been a while."
“I imagine you’d still know how to do it.”
“Well, maybe you’re imagining wrong," he counters.
She raises an eyebrow, “I thought you knew this already, Percy. I’m never wrong.”
He grins.
“Besides,” Annabeth continues, “I won’t judge. I’m just curious.”
“You do know that curiosity killed the cat, right?”
“Ah, but satisfaction brought it back,” she replies. “So go on then.”
He looks at her then, almost like he's committing their moment to memory. It's funny how serious he looks, and Annabeth's about to say something about it, but then Percy nods, gently taking his hand from hers and unwrapping his arm from its position around her waist. Percy takes his wand and - "I'll even stand," he jokes - his posture snaps into place in a way that tells her he's practiced the move meticulously. There's a certain kind of precision in his wand movement, and the way he smiles at her softly before saying the incantation with such purpose makes her heart stutter.
It’s frightening, how much she feels for him.
Watching him conjure his Patronus is like learning that magic is real all over again. Her stomach flips in anticipation, and her breath is caught when the world’s most majestic owl bursts from the tip of his wand and into the space above them. It soars, completing laps around the lake, creating a shimmering reflection that lights up the dark water.
When it disappears, Annabeth looks at Percy, and it’s almost funny, the way he looks. Like he's just as transfixed as she is, just as awed and amazed.
“It’s an owl,” he sits back down, voice hoarse.
---
“So you saw it.” Grover says as they’re doing rounds the next day. “What’d you think?”
Annabeth thinks that it’s silly how amazed she still is. “It was beautiful. Majestic, even. The owl… It just kind of whooshed out of his wand and it created this amazing reflection against the lake-”
“Owl?”
"Yeah," Annabeth blinks, confused at his confusion.
“No, it’s, uh,” Grover stops walking. “Are you sure it was an owl?”
She’s mildly (very) offended, “Are you doubting my ability to identify an owl?”
“Well, uh. What happened after?”
“It vanished?” It makes no sense that he’s confused by all this. He knows what Percy’s Patronus is, after all. “Percy looked shocked too, kind of like how you’re acting right now, but I assume it’s always a cool moment to see your own Patronus.”
“And he didn’t say anything else?”
“Was he supposed to have?”
“Um?”
“Grover, why are you being weird?” She gives him a look.
“I’m not being anything.”
Annabeth crosses her arms over her chest.
Grover huffs, shuffling in his position before starting to walk again. “It’s just that it must have changed is all.”
He’s a couple of paces ahead of her when the words hit, and he’s even further away when they register. Annabeth’s pace is fast to catch up with him, “What do you mean it changed?”
“His Patronus,” Grover clarifies. “It was a dolphin when we learned it together.”
Her brows knit, “So Patronuses can just change now?”
“Apparently!” He exclaims, tone tinged with just a bit of hysteria.
Annabeth looks down at her shoes, a small smile making its way on her face.
It doesn't surprise her at all that he can do the unthinkable.
---
“Maybe we remembered it wrong,” Percy offers. He stops pacing just then, looking at Annabeth for a quick second before turning to Grover. She's supposed to meet up with Frank in a couple of minutes, and they've been sitting in the Hufflepuff common room trying to dissect the whole Patronus situation for a while.
“Both of you?” Annabeth sits up, flashing Percy a look of disbelief, “Both of you remembered it wrong?”
Percy nods, “Mass hysteria. Except the mass is just the two of us.”
“What’d Chiron say?” Grover asks. “You talked to him earlier, right?”
“He said that it happens. And that it’s nothing to worry about. Something that comes with time. Or something. I don’t remember.” Percy says.
“You don’t remember?” Annabeth raises an eyebrow.
“Yes.” He gives her a pointed look.
“Because I read this book,” Annabeth says, “and it said that one’s Patronus can change if-”
“Yeah?” Grover sits up straighter.
“Hold on,” Annabeth takes a book out from her bag, “I just want to get it- okay. It says that ‘your Patronus only changes if it’s eternal love, unchanging - part of you forever.’”
Percy sits down.
Annabeth closes the book, “So who’s the lucky person?”
She knows she doesn’t want to know the answer because whatever he’ll end up saying will absolutely wreck her, but he hadn't shown an interest in anyone after Rachel, and she's curious.
“Would it make sense,” Percy coughs, a splash of red on his cheeks, “if I said I don’t know?”
“You don’t know who you’re in love with?” Grover flashes Percy a look of disbelief, “You sure?”
Percy flashes Grover a look, “I mean-”
“I was just thinking that maybe it changed when you realized that you were in love,” Annabeth says.
Grover nods, the movement exaggerated, “Great idea, Annabeth. That would make sense.”
Annabeth looks at Percy.
And he’s frozen. There’s a strange kind of emotion etched on his face that she can only describe as trapped. He doesn’t say anything though, doesn’t look like he’s about to say anything, and she’s got to leave because she has to do nightly rounds with Frank soon so she hopes that he does do something soon.
He doesn’t.
So she stands, addressing Grover because Percy’s too deep in thought. “I have rounds with Frank soon. Tell me if anything happens?”
Grover shakes his head, scrambling to get his books off of his lap in order to stand, “Annabeth, I really think you should sta-”
“Rain check, okay? I’ll see you guys tomorrow.”
And it’s odd because she hadn’t been holding her breath, but it’s when she's in the hallway that she feels that she can finally breathe.
iii.
Studying for the NEWTS is a certain kind of hell, and it’s December when they finally find time to relax. Annabeth's sat with Percy on the bench overlooking the Great Lake, and it's supposed to be a lesson, one where Percy shows her how to perform the Patronus Charm because all she can do produce vapor.
She's going to change that very soon.
Percy stands, and he’s fidgeting (a habit he’s recently picked up) in front of her. The look of worry on his face almost makes her want to send him an amused look. Almost.
Percy coughs, “Okay, so you know the drill. Just think of the happiest you’ve ever been, and let it consume all of your senses. Be in that moment.”
“So just one memory?” she teases.
Percy shoots her a look. “It can be a whole array of moments, it’s really just got to be powerful. It has to mean something.”
She doesn’t understand why he’s suddenly so touchy with her about the topic of Patronuses, but it’s kind of amusing to see how flustered he’s getting. Annabeth tries again halfheartedly, not at all surprised that she didn’t even produce mist that time around.
“You’re thinking of it too critically.” Percy shakes his head, “The Patronus is a physical representation of the happiest you’ve ever been. It has to be something absolute, something that completely fills you up. You can’t use a memory and force it to be something it’s not.”
Annabeth lowers her wand, leaning back on the bench, “So what do you think about?”
“Things,” Percy shrugs.
“Seriously?”
“It’s not important-”
Annabeth scoffs, “It’s what makes you conjure up a Patronus, of course it’s got to be-”
“I mean-”
She leans in, eager to find out.
“Um, friendship?” Percy’s voice cracks.
“The voice crack really sold it.”
“Really?”
“No,” she smacks him lightly with her wand, “of course not.”
Percy scratches the back of his neck, and wow she doesn’t look at how that makes his muscles flex, thanks for asking. He looks more at the space on top of her head, “I would like to respectfully disagree.”
“Maybe I’ll just never get to conjure one,” Annabeth says dramatically, tucking her wand in her boot.
“What? What do you-” He splutters, “We’ve literally been-”
“Percy, I don’t know if I can think of anything that’ll make me happy right now. The holidays are coming up and-”
“Can’t?” He asks, “Or won’t?”
"Whoa, uncalled for." She holds her hands up, "Besides, I'm not the one who's suddenly being awkward-"
Percy swallows, “This is just a suggestion, but maybe you’re blocking yourself off from something? Stopping yourself? Maybe this block is what’s preventing you from conjuring up a corporeal one.”
She wants to say something, something along the lines of ‘no, you’re wrong,’ but he isn’t.
Percy, like always, seems to figure her out. It’s like he knows that she’s been stopping herself from hoping about being with him because he is obviously so hopelessly in love with someone else.
Annabeth bites her lip. “I think I’m flustered.”
“And, um,” It’s obvious that she’s caught Percy off guard because he looks like he’s having a hard time finding words. “Why are you flustered?”
“Well,” Annabeth cringes, “because you’re my friend?”
It’s a bullshit excuse. A bullshit excuse that doesn’t even make sense. Or ring true. Definitely not true. But she can’t exactly take it back now, can she?
Can she?
She’s about to, but Percy beats her to it. He frowns, “Oh.”
Apparently her mouth’s got a mind of its own, “I mean-”
“No, it’s fine,” Percy says, sounding wrecked. She doesn't understand why. “It’s okay.”
“Percy, I meant-”
“We can try again next time.”
“Perce-”
“Annabeth, really, it’s okay.” He shoots her a small, unsure smile. “Really. It’s fine.”
And she bites her lip, conceding. “Next time then.”
---
When she arrives back to her dorm, it’s after hours. Severely so, considering that the nightly rounds she had done with Grover ran late. But Piper is still awake, and Annabeth is ambushed the second she steps foot inside.
“So how was the session?” Piper sits up on her bed, wiggling her eyebrows.
Annabeth takes off her loosened tie, placing it on her dresser, “It was fine.”
“Were you able to do it? Conjure up a corporeal one?”
Annabeth takes off her shoes before sitting on her bed, shaking her head. “Not this time, no.”
Piper sighs, “Maybe if you two stopped dancing around each other, you two would actually be happy, not this pining mess-”
“Pipes, that’s silly, you know I don’t dance.” Annabeth shoots her friend a look. “Or, rather, I can’t. I can’t dance.”
“Could’ve fooled me with the way you’re two-stepping around Percy.”
“Well can you blame me?” Annabeth leans on her bed frame, hopelessly running a hand through her hair. “He’s in love with someone else, and- and it’s to the point where it’s caused his Patronus to change. It doesn’t matter that I’m in love with him. His happiness is more important to me, and if he’s happier with someone else, then-”
“Annabeth,” Piper says softly, “what if it’s you?”
Annabeth scoffs, “That’s highly improbable.”
“It’s an owl.”
“Big deal, so I like owls. That doesn’t mean-”
“And when has Percy ever done the expected?” Piper interrupts, shooting her a look that Annabeth feels right to her toes.
She doesn’t have a reply to that.
“Maybe you should try to think about that. About him. Just this once? With the two of us and, well, everyone’s sleeping but I’ve put up silencing charms because I wanted to talk. And I know you think you’re doing fine, but-”
“Thanks for the vote of confidence,” Annabeth says dryly.
Piper motions for her to go on.
And Annabeth doesn’t know why, but she stands. Maybe it’s because she’s spent too long holding it in and it just can’t be held in anymore. And she’s always thought in terms of technicalities, of perfection, but this time Annabeth doesn’t think about how she’s standing, or the way she’s holding her wand. Let it consume you, Percy had told her, think of the happiest you’ve ever been.
And she knows that it’s Percy.
She closes her eyes and she sees Percy, she and him holding hands. They’re staying up late in the library, eating breakfast in the Great Hall, sneaking in the kitchens, or outside if the weather’s good. She sees them growing up together, taking care of each other. Having each other’s backs was always an unspoken agreement. She sees him taking care of her when she’s sick, sees her staying by his side after a Quidditch accident.
Annabeth sees his smile, bright and radiant, the one he sends her everyday no matter what. She feels the winter cold on the day he tells her about his mother, feels his hand in hers; warm, sure, and steady.
It’s him.
And she knows she’s gone. She’s so far past gone that there isn’t a word in the world’s dictionary to describe how in love she is with her best friend.
She used to be self-conscious saying the incantation, it had always felt weird on her tongue. This time, however, it was as simple as breathing, as if there was really nothing else that could be done, and when she opens her eyes and sees a beautiful owl burst out her wand, her knees buckle and she falls back on her bed.
Her eyes are trained on her Patronus, her corporeal Patronus, and vaguely, she hears Piper say Oh my God, but that doesn’t really do much to distract her from the magnificent owl circling her dorm. Before disappearing, her owl flies in front of her, and it’s a sobering moment, getting chastised by a Patronus.
Piper makes a strangled noise, “That’s an owl.”
Annabeth’s throat feels dry. Come to think of it, her eyes do too. So she blinks. Swallows. Swallows again for good measure, just in case. It’s unnerving how even breathing sounds too loud. When she speaks, her voice is hoarse, “I need to go.”