Chapter Text
Nott bursts through the inn’s front door, pale and half-out of her mind with panic.
Mollymauk, who has been sipping his whiskey and keeping an eye on people retiring for the night, spots her immediately across the room and shoots on his feet. There’s a horrible, churning feeling in his gut.
“What’s wrong?”
“Caleb!” she screams out, slamming her fists on Mollymauk’s table, not caring one bit who hears. Her porcelaine mask clinks loose.
Mollymauk grabs her quickly and drags her upstairs to the room they’ve rented.
“What happened? Where’s Caleb?” he demands, and hearing that Fjord tenses immediately.
“He - found something that was stolen from him, when - when we escaped the prison and we couldn’t get it back then, but it’s here now, in Zadash and he really wants to get it and now he’s probably in there already, ‘cause he’s stupid - please, we gotta go help him!”
“Where?” Fjord demands.
Nott makes an anguished sound in her throat. “T - the crown guard barracks”, she whimpers.
Everybody falls silent at once.
“What the hell - barracks?” Beau demands. “That’s like - the worst place to break into! Ever!”
“It’s - a matter of life and death”, Nott says hesitantly, because technically she’s not lying and she’s keeping her promise to Caleb. “He wouldn’t have otherwise, it’s very, very important - “
“Hang on a minute, are ya tellin’ us he could die without this... this thing of his?” Fjord interrupts, his amber eyes finding hers in the dim candle light.
Nott bites the inside of her cheek. “I can’t say”, she says apologetically. “I’m sorry! But - but it’s so very important to him, and it was ripped from him! Used against him - !”
Realizing what she’s said, she slaps her hands on her mouth.
Fjord stares at her for a moment. Then, he grips the sword handle tighter, and there’s new steel-like determination in his posture.
“We need to hurry, they’re not the ones to really play nice”, Beau says.
“Agreed, let’s move”, Mollymauk adds.
+
They gear up and rush outside.
+
They get to the barracks. The windows are dark.
And -
Nott suddenly gasps, and Mollymauk reaches to grip her shoulder instinctively trying to offer quiet comfort to her. A dark, pained shadow falls on Fjord’s features, and he grips his sword’s handle tighter until his knuckles turn white.
Because they hear faint screaming.
Caleb’s screaming.
+
They run in a blind hurry; thankfully the alarm has been silenced, the halls are empty, and they make their way downstairs - downstairs, toward the -
Nott nearly freezes, her hand gripping Mollymauk’s jacket.
“Would you like to wait upstairs?” the tiefling asks quietly.
“No! C - Caleb needs us - “
“Figured as much. C’mon, that - doesn’t sound good at all”, he murmurs darkly.
+
Caleb doesn’t scream anymore.
+
His shallow breathing is strangled to desperate heaves.
+
They crash through the door.
It’s hot in there. Stifling, burning hot.
“Caleb!” Jester shrieks upon seeing him. Caleb’s head lulls toward them, his eyes sunken, his face carved by tired pain. Salt water drips from his hair. There are burn marks on his arms.
Fjord growls: “Hands off him, if ya don’t mind.”
“Who the bloody hell are you people?”
Without answering, Jester rushes past the stunned warden, ducks just in time when Mollymauk slides in to hit the man with the handle of his sword.
The warden stumbles, falls to the ground, the poker clattering beside him. Jester hastily rips the magical-resistant cuffs off Caleb’s raw wrists, and in that instant -
- Caleb’s eyes turn blinding white, and all that fury, fear, anxiety, panic, shame pour out of him as a violent magical surge; the air drops into a freezing temperature, the walls glimmer with frost, and a cloud of blizzard engulfs the warden, crackling -
“W - wait - “
Caleb doesn’t.
The ice spreads and spreads and spreads -
- until the warden’s feet are frozen to the ground, covered with snowflakes, and his bulged, manic eyes dart frantically back and forth, shooting outraged glares at the wizard.
Caleb walks to him, his white eyes boring into his.
“Do not come after us”, he says. “Or you will not return anywhere alive. This is your last and final warning.”
“Fuck you”, the warden spits - and Caleb punches him.
It breaks a bone in his hand, the warden falls unconscious. Caleb hisses, falters, his knees buckle -
- all energy burnt out of him, he’s tired, in pain, he’s on edge, bordering on utter hysterics -
“Caleb?” It’s Nott. So very careful and nervous and gentle. “Caleb, it’s all right - “
Caleb clutches his sternum, out of breath and suddenly dizzy. “The - the - “ he desperately tries to form words, but his mouth is dry, his thought process is slow and sluggish -
- and he faints.
+
Instantly both Mollymauk and Fjord move to catch him, but Jester fixes a flat look on them and throws Caleb over her shoulder.
“We need to leave”, she says tightly.
“Yeah, right fucking now, someone must’ve heard that, out, people, out - “ Beau says, keeping a lookout by the doorway.
“W - wait, we need to grab Caleb’s thing - does anyone know what it is - ?” Fjord starts, but Nott pipes up:
“I got it!”
Fjord gives her a quick look, but she’s stuffed Caleb’s fur into her robes, out of sight. It’s not her secret to tell, so they have to wait for Caleb.
+
Jester lays Caleb on the bed of their room and starts to heal, her brow furrowed with concentration.
“What the fuck did they do to him?” Beau asks, her voice dropped something more hoarse. She keeps fiddling with her staff just to keep herself occupied. “They fuckin’ burned him?”
“Apparently”, Mollymauk murmurs, keeping an eye on Caleb over Jester’s shoulder. He hasn’t moved an inch since they arrived, holding a somewhat protective stance behind the cleric. “Jester?”
“His - there’s something wrong with his - “ Jester frowns, puzzled. “I don’t get it, I don’t, something in him is bleeding and drying in the same time, but it’s not the burn marks - “
“Then heal him, c’mon, do somethin’, anythin’”, Fjord grunts, his own nerves fraying, settled other side of Caleb’s bed. “Jester, how can we help, there gotta be something -“
Jester clenches her jaw and returns to work. “Shut up, I’m trying! This is so slow, like it’s not even working! Why isn’t it working?”
The soft glow of her healing magic flicker on the walls, dim and fading.
Nott doesn’t move from her spot beside Caleb, holding his hand.
“Oh gods, he needs it”, she whispers, and tears well in her eyes.
“What? What are you talking about?” Jester asks, glancing at her under her bangs.
Nott lets out a painful sound. “The warden must’ve driven him to a breaking p - forced him - oh, no, you gotta wake up, you can’t leave this to me, Caleb - “ she sniffs desperately. “It’s your secret, not mine, I can’t blow it without your permission, you can’t leave this to me - “
“Nott, if you know anythin’ that might help - “ Fjord says, his voice all gravel and rough notes from utter worry.
“I don’t get it - why isn’t it working - ?” Jester’s gritting through her teeth, frustrated and terrified.
Forgive me, Caleb, Nott thinks, heartbroken and with trembling hands, pulls out Caleb’s most important treasure, the glossy seal skin under her robes and shows it to them.
Deafening silence falls into the room.
No one breathes. No one moves. They just stare.
“The warden stole it from him?” Fjord’s voice rumbles low like thunder, so low that it would be terrifying for anyone else but them. Mollymauk curses through his clenched teeth.
Nott nods miserably. “Yeah. We couldn’t get it back when we escaped, but today he felt it’s presence in the city so - so we looked for it. Please, just - “ Shaking all over, she wraps the seal skin on Caleb’s chest, and a guttural, anguished sound escapes Caleb’s throat.
His form flutters, flickers and -
- suddenly, there’s an unconscious selkie lying on the bed.
They gape at him for a moment, and then -
“Water”, Jester startles. “He needs water!”
Everyone rushes to action.
+
silence.
not quite.
underwater.
he’s floating gently, weightless and light.
Caleb’s slowly, slowly becoming aware of his surroundings; the soft sensation of water sliding against his fur -
Wait.
Fur?
Jolting up, jolting forward, now completely awake, Caleb rises to the surface and breathes humid, lavender scented air.
He’s in the inn bathroom. In a tub.
And his tail -
Oh - what, his tail - ?
With a startled rush, he changes back and nearly slips.
“You’re awake!”
Nott dashes into the bathroom and immediately he notices she’s been crying. “Are you okay?” he asks, worried, but it comes out groggy and hoarse - words feel strange in his mouth.
“You nearly died, he tortured you - I’m so sorry, I had to tell them, you were dying, gods, I’m so sorry, Caleb - “
Tortured. The warden. Caleb remembers. Him forcing Caleb, pressing burn marks into his bare skin with the poker, teasing and tempting with the fur, dangling it like cheap redemption -
i bet you miss it, huh, miss the sea, too bad, you’ll never get there, it’s a pretty fur, now isn’t it - you know what you’ll have to do if you want to get it back, if we make a deal, you remember -
“C - Caleb?”
“No, you did the right thing”, Caleb tries to console her and means it. “You have nothing to be sorry for, it’s all right. Thank you. I - I think I would have died, otherwise.”
“But I had to give the skin back to you in front of them, they know now...”
“It’s all right. It’s better now that there are no secrets. At least from my end”, Caleb smiles and reaches to ruffle her hair. “Thank you, my friend.”
Nott moves to hug him - until she realizes it’s bath water and with a grimace, she settles to awkwardly pat Caleb’s hair and leaves.
+
After a while, Caleb rises from the tub, sheds the seal skin and just holds it for a moment in his shaking hands.
It’s really here. Here and his and here. After such a long time - after so much suffering and running and -
He runs his fingers on the glossy fur, swallowing. Overcome with relief, homesickness and nostalgia, he rests his forehead against it and breathes deeply.
How long has it been?
Enough, so long.
The fur still holds a comforting scent of sea salt. Home.
He dresses himself, wraps the fur carefully around his waist and returns to the room.
He’s greeted with silence, and all of the companions turn to stare at him - each of them looking relieved and just a bit worried.
“How are ya feelin’?” Fjord asks, no hard lines on his brow, his gaze flickering up and down, trying to see if he’s still injured.
“You were out quite a bit”, Mollymauk says.
Caleb hesitates.
“No, no, I’m fine.” He breathes deeply. “Thank you”, he says awkwardly, shifting. “For coming after me. I - I know I screwed up, it was less than planned, and yes, it was stupid, but - thank you for coming, nonetheless.”
The words sound formal and stiff in his mouth, desperate for them to understand just how much this means to him.
Fjord is the first one to move, and he approaches Caleb. “’Course we did. And - we get why it was a secret and a big deal. We get it. It’s okay. So don’t - don’t worry about us, yeah?”
Caleb gazes up at him, a little desperately. “Are - are we all right?” he says, sounding more strangled than he would like, but he feels too raw, too open to be anything else.
Fjord’s eyes soften. “Always. Damn, that must’ve been absolute agony for you - I - I can’t even imagine how much that must’ve hurt”, he says gruffly, eyes darkening. The idea of Caleb suffering doesn’t sit well with him.
Caleb laughs, choked and rubs his forearm. “It wasn’t pleasant, no...”
“Oh, stop it”, Mollymauk scolds him across the room. “Everybody knows the fish tales about selkies - that man violated your rights in the worst possible way - “
“I know”, Caleb says. “I know. It was first about me doing magic, but then... then he realized what I was.”
“What did he want? I imagine a man like that is not going to be pleasant about it.” Seeing how pale Caleb is Mollymauk adds quickly: “I’m sorry - that was blunt of me. If you don’t want to tell, that’s all right, don’t worry.”
Caleb sighs deeply, his fingers fumbling the hem of his jacket. “He... wanted to know if I could raise storms to sink merchant ships”, he murmurs.
No one asks if he can.
Caleb breathes deeply. “And if you wonder if I can... no. Which is why I was in the prison. He...tried to make it work.”
“What an asshole”, Beau snorts. “Goddamn. I’ve known assholes, but damn.”
“I agree, what a bastard”, Mollymauk grunts darkly.
“He was in really bad shape, Caleb was, in the prison”, Nott whispers unevenly, wringing her hands again and shuddering when she remembers those times. “No water anywhere, it was kinda new too, wasn’t it...?”
“So, how did you know the skin was in Zadash?” Jester asks curiously, gentleness still softening her voice.
Caleb clears his throat. “W - well, I am a wizard”, he replies nervously. “And - I had an enchantment. It worked as sort of a vague radar, so to speak - it let me know when my skin was close, but I couldn’t know the exact location. It was all I had to help in such a short, limited time...it...let me be... myself without - without the skin.”
His voice almost breaks. He remembers those exhausting nights, when he was terrified out of his mind, filled with this empty kind of longing, despair, horror that he’s incomplete, unnaturally missing something so vital, like a limb cut off -
(was studying magic really worth losing your skin?)
Seeing Caleb’s pain, Fjord’s protective instincts kick in.
“Hey, hey, it’s okay. You’re safe here, nothin’ is gonna hurt ya here”, he says gently. He doesn’t touch him, but his hands are hovering above Caleb’s shoulders. “You’re safe. You secret’s safe with us. I swear. They won’t find you.”
“They are certainly welcome to try”, Mollymauk mutters under his breath looking like he’s already plotting possible scenarios regarding any pursuers.
Caleb breathes deeply. “I know, thank you. It’s just... no. I’m fine.”
No one comments just how not fine he is, how not fine he looks, haggard, pale and tired, but the unimpressed, worried disapproval on their faces is quite enough indication.
“How ‘bout we take a trip to the seaside? Would that help?” Fjord asks, keeping his gaze on Caleb, trying to gauge if he’s in pain or not. “Caleb?”
Caleb’s so surprised he momentarily forgets how words work.
“I - “
Fjord watches him, and Caleb’s heart seems to drown into a realization, into something soft and unassuming, real and hopeful. It’s been blossoming there a while, that warm glow he’s tried to very much ignore, but... here it is, bare and open.
“Would that be all right?” Fjord asks carefully. “I mean, it’s a suggestion - “
“You would do that? For me?” Caleb’s voice very nearly cracks.
“Always”, Fjord says instantly and something fierce and warm flash in his bright irises, quick and definitely there. Caleb isn’t quite sure what to do with that information.
Jester squeals. “Ooooh, we can build sandcastles! Can we also find a beach with no seaweed ‘cause that’s icky?”
“I don’t think there are many”, Mollymauk ponders.
“Eew.”
“The seaside”, Fjord emphasizes firmly.
“Yeah, fine, whatever! We’ll go!”
“Ain’t really up to you, Jester, I was askin’ Caleb.”
“Pfft, we can go there anyway! Stop being so grumpy, Fjord, I don’t like that, makes you all frowny and not fun.”
Blinking in astonishment, Caleb gapes at them. This - this group that has become so dear to him, without him noticing.
And for the first time in a long time, Caleb smiles, tired and happy. “Thank you. I - I would love that.”
+
It’s both quite amusing and slightly stunning to notice that the group instinctively forms a protective circle around Caleb when they leave Zadash.
Caleb blinks.
They won’t ask about the seal skin, but Caleb feels a rush of affection for them when he sees them checking if it’s there, safely wrapped around Caleb’s waist, hidden by his coat.
Not taken, never again.
Not if they can help it.
+
The seagulls scream.
The sky is bright blue, and soft breeze tousles Caleb’s hair. Contentment and peace settle in him like pure water washing filth away, and he sighs softly.
It feels good.
The roar of the waves lull him; a comforting rush in his ears.
“GET NAKEEEED!” Jester screeches from the other side of the beach, where she’s collecting pretty seashells with Nott. Beau’s pretending she’s not building a sandcastle, and Mollymauk unashamedly pokes fun at her while also pretending that he’s not helping her.
“Jester!” Fjord scolds her. “Let him be!”
“But he has to get naked, right? He can’t swim in that awful jacket!”
Caleb snorts a laugh and shrugs the jacket off, takes off his boots. The sand feels good between his toes. Slowly, he strips, not caring one bit who sees him - and wraps the seal skin around his shoulders.
It’s a comforting, familiar, heavy weight on him, and he wades into the sea, sinks under the rolling waves, and the sea whispers: welcome back, child.
You have been missed.
You are forgiven.
You are loved.
Welcome home.
The fur melts into him, he shifts, swims, dives, and wild joy explodes in his chest.
It works - it worked - !
Thank the gods.
+
After a long while, after immersing himself into the sea again, after relishing every sensation, chasing after bright bubbles, swimming beside silver-sided fish, he returns up to the surface near the beach, and Jester’s amazed.
“Aww, you’re so cute!” she squeals. “Look at you, your little nose, it’s so adorable!”
Caleb snorts. Of course she would say that.
“I don’t recommend poking him on the nose”, Mollymauk remarks, amused. “I don’t think he would like that.”
Definitely not.
“How ‘bout you stop pesterin’ him anyway?” Fjord deadpans.
“But look at him, he’s all squishy and round and adorable!”
“To be fair, you are pretty cute”, Mollymauk agrees.
“He looks like a sausage”, Beau points out.
Caleb does a very good imitation of rolling his eyes to high heavens.
Fjord flashes an amused grin. “I get’cha, buddy. C’mon, people, let’s back up a bit.”
“Oh, is he gonna be naked again?”
“Not for you, Jester, c’mon.”
“Definitely not for us”, Mollymauk adds with a smile and leads her back.
Caleb wades from the water, his fur wrapped around him. Fjord’s grin is charming, gentle around the edges.
“Hey.”
“Hi”, Caleb replies and pushes wet hair from his forehead. “I’m not going to lie, that felt amazing.”
“I bet it did.” Fjord clears his throat, hesitant. “So, uh, d’you mind me askin’ something?”
“No, at this point you can ask anything, and I would probably be all right with it.”
Fjord chuckles, the sound rumbling through Caleb, deep and rich. “Good to know. B - but no, actually, I’m kinda wantin’ to know if... what’re you gonna do now?”
Oh.
“You are wondering if I’m leaving you - the group”, he corrects softly, and Fjord’s throat twitches.
“I mean, ‘s now an option to ya, ain’t it?” Fjord grunts, embarrassed. “You gotta miss it, right? The sea? Being free?”
“Perhaps”, Caleb answers. “But now it is an option for me. An option that I can choose whenever I want. I have that luxury of freedom, at last. I am not being blackmailed or in jail. The choice is mine. And I choose to be with you.” An unsure little beat. “The group. You are a bunch of lunatics, but I’m very fond of you.”
You, you, you.
Fjord’s eyes widen a fraction, the bright ember shining through. “We’re also fond of you”, he says, his voice now deeper. “We’d hate to see you go.”
“You, huh?” Caleb repeats mildly, touch amused by this conversation. Maybe it’s his light, floating set of mind currently at work, but he’s happy.
Fjord swallows again. “I’d hate to see you go”, he grunts, looking at the white foat crashing on the sand.
“Good. Because I’m not leaving.” Caleb gazes at him, bare with affection for this half-orc, who has been nothing but good to him. Good and kind. “The sea is a terrifying place. Unpredictable and dangerous, you are right. There are things that will eat you and things that will do worse until you are nothing but a husk. So I’m staying. Having me around... could be an advantage.”
The realization sinks into Fjord, and he stiffens. “W - wait a moment, hey now - “
“I will be here, if you ever need me”, Caleb says softly. “I’ll help, however I can.”
A strange expression passes over Fjord’s features; anguish, hope, helplessness. Then, he breathes deeply, steadies himself.
“Too kind fo your own damn good, Caleb”, he finally growls, shaking his head in fond exasperation. “Goddamnit, you don’t even know what it is, what it wants...”
His hand twitches like he wants to touch Caleb, but stops himself in time, looking away, flustered.
“No, but I know I want to help you, whatever it is, since it bothers you.”
“Caleb - “
Caleb reaches to pat Fjord’s shoulder, angles his head up to pin a firm look at him.
Fjord’s shoulders slump down. “Yeah, all right. Dammit.”
Something warm tingling in his chest, Caleb gathers the last of his bravery, rises on his tip-toes and presses his lips lightly on Fjord’s scarred cheek.
Fjord relaxes against his touch, almost instinctively leaning into it.
Heat spreads on Caleb’s cheeks, and he says in a hurry: “Okay, fine - that’s great, I’m staying, I hope that wasn’t awkward, goodbye - “
Fjord grabs Caleb’s wrist and gently pulls him back. “Thank you”, he says, meaning every word. “Seriously. You - you went through hell and you were suffering - and still you do this, be here for me - ”
Caleb isn’t startled by that.
“Always.”
Fjord stares at him, like he can’t quite believe, like he -
The air crackles between them; the tension shifts, coils, they’re watching each other intently, gazes gauging, observing, hoping -
( - the sea is a violent, unforgiving thing, it takes them, sinks them and is willing to drown them, but they are in it together, both of them.)
And Caleb - he’s not brave, he’s not, but he’s desperately hopeful, so he leans in and brushes a very chaste kiss on Fjord’s mouth. It’s just a light press, simple and comforting on it’s own, a kiss that says i’m here.
A shudder goes through Fjord’s body and something in him collapses.
And he completely surrenders himself to this, to Caleb.
Slowly, Fjord moves his hand to cradle Caleb’s jaw so gently, like he’s so precious, so important, and he kisses Caleb back, slow and honey-sweet, savouring the moment, letting it move on it’s own weight, just two of them, sharing this together.
On a cold beach.
The seagulls screech above them.
+