Chapter Text
This is how it happened:
When Eren said something about going to help out some neighbor Levi nodded, listening with half an ear, but more preoccupied with wiping out enemies in front of him. When he paused to think about it, he felt stupid for getting invested in the silly game, but there was something about the asshole shapeshifter he was playing that got to him. Just, the ease with which he mowed through people in the streets.
Levi knew what that was like. He could kill so many people so easily. It was why he usually didn’t like fighting games.
Eren left the house, and Levi registered the click of the door with the back of his mind. It wasn’t locked, but like most houses, the outside handle wouldn’t turn. He’d open it for Eren when he came back because the kid had probably forgotten his keys.
It was a relief to be alone in the house. Levi was slowly getting used to having other people in his living space, but it sucked. There was too much about his environment that he couldn’t control these days. Couldn’t control his damn body. Lived in other people’s houses. Had the other people themselves always around, doing what they wanted and him unable to do anything about it.
If he could run it would be one thing, but he couldn’t.
Levi paused the game and considered his right hand, tried to let it flow into another shape. He could feel the shift starting, rippling up his arm, only to spark unpleasantly in his brain around the messed-up disturbance that was the wound in his side. He could probably force a shift if he wanted, but he still had that nasty patch of scales on his thigh. Three years back, running wounded from a battle he’d turned into a snake to escape, forcing himself into the shape despite his mind’s protests, and when his wound healed he found himself growing scales instead of pink skin. Of course Levi could shift them away, but they had fused with him, and de-shifting always brought them back.
He ran his right hand reflexively over his thigh, no sign of the blemish tangible under the training pants he was wearing. Turning into Eren had cured that – for now. Permanence was more than he could hope for.
Levi released the shift with a sigh and relaxed back into his own form. He might be able to do cosmetic changes without too much trouble, like to his face, if he wanted to leave.
But he didn’t need to go yet, he told himself. Maybe in a few days, but not yet. Soon, soon, he would definitely have to leave, before something happened.
He swallowed thickly and squeezed the controller.
It was a miracle nothing had gone wrong yet. Maybe it was because he wasn’t himself yet, he thought, his mind falling into the familiar groove. He was Eren, and Eren didn’t destroy everything he touched. But already his hair was darkening, and he was growing shorter than Eren, his features older, eyes less lively.
His time would come to end – and then what? He couldn’t be the person Erwin wanted him to be, the one Eren seemed to already see. It had been too late for him from the moment he had torn his way out of his mother’s stomach, the monster horror movies were made about. If he stopped doing – being a villain, being a supervillain, what would he do? He had no skills besides killing. Hadn’t even finished high school.
And he needed money. It was the only recompense available to him.
Damn. He didn’t even feel like playing anymore. Levi saved the game and sat staring at the dark screen, controller still held loosely in his hands. He needed to stop thinking about it. Thinking of the future was no good, sent his mind spiraling in dizzying circles that led nowhere.
Eren had better come back soon-
The tap on the door was such a relief (ha, forgot his keys!) that Levi was across the room and had thrown open the door before he registered that the knock was not Eren’s.
He would have reacted, then, felt a spike of nauseating adrenaline, but he found the room spinning and his vision growing black. There was a dart in his chest, he registered, some kind of drug – his system should be fighting it but wasn’t – a shifter-resistant drug… they had known… had to…
His body collapsed before his mind faded to darkness. The walls and ceiling spun dizzily before steadying, and the pain of hitting the ground was far-off and blunted. Even the sour fear he knew he should be feeling was distant. The last thing he saw was a glimpse of a tiny blonde girl who looked down on him with ice-cold blue eyes.
---
His neck hurt.
Something rough and unyielding was pressed against the right side of his face.
His eyelids were heavy, rolling shut with the temptation of sleep, though he knew he shouldn’t because…
A faint rumble reached his hears, matching a constant soft vibration that shook his body.
Levi awoke to the realization that he was in a car, head against the window in a parody of sleep. His lap and part of the car door were the only things visible, he found, because his eyes didn’t seem to work properly. None of his body worked properly.
Panic, long-unfamiliar, turned his stomach. He tried to move his arms and legs – nothing. Tried to force a shift, but his body wasn’t reacting, his mind a mess. All he managed to do was set aflare the wound in his side, which drew a small grunt of pain.
“Already?” a startled female voice said. “You should have been under longer.”
Levi realized his mistake when he felt the prick of a needle in his thigh, and slipped back into oblivion.
---
This time, when he awoke, he remembered to be careful. He didn’t move, tried to keep his breathing slow and shallow. The car was at rest, the music off, and the thick smell of gasoline meant they were at a gas station. Stopped for gas or food, he didn’t know. Escape pounded at his temples.
The girl wasn’t in the car at the moment. If Levi could somehow get out, he didn’t like relying on others but if he could alert people – though it was late at night, he could hear other cars. He had to get away before she-
She what? Who was she? Why had she kidnapped him? How had she known to find him at Eren’s house?
A chill rushed down Levi’s back at the realization that it probably wasn’t him she was after at all, but Eren. Whatever nefarious plan she had for Eren couldn’t be implemented, because she had him instead.
And Eren must be safe at home, unharmed.
Levi tried to relax, did his best to force his pulse down to neutral again. This was good, he thought tentatively. If he was here instead of Eren, Eren couldn’t be hurt. A flush of excitement dispelled the chill, but left him just as queasy as before. Helping Eren, saving Eren. That was a good thing. Doing the right thing never ended well.
Giving up control never ended well.
He tried not to let memories of Isabel and Farlan flood his mind, forcefully pushed back how they’d trusted him, how they’d looked at him after seeing what he was, how the bullets meant for him had torn through --
Maybe they were still alive, he liked to think. He’d run and not seen them since, cut all ties and never searched, because the first time had so probably ended in death (Farlan’s blood in red puddles on a sidewalk, Isabel’s scream etched into his memories). Levi was a born killer; he knew that. He’d known it growing up in the dark basement, known it when he’d killed a child on the playground with a spike through the chest in a fight over a toy, and only learned to accept it when the Underground had taken him in and taught him to be the weapon he so clearly was.
He still didn’t know why he’d run from them.
Or rather, he did know. It was the same misguided hope that kept him at Erwin’s, week after week, that kept him going to Eren’s to play games and wash dishes with Petra. Being the monster under the bed was lonely sometimes.
The car door slammed open and shut, rocking the vehicle. The girl was back; his opportunity was gone. The engine turned over, and with it the trepidation returned.
He hadn’t made a choice. He wasn’t doing anything, he thought. Inaction might not go so wrong as his actions always did.
“Sorry about this, Eren,” the girl muttered, confirming his suspicions. “But we need you.”
Levi tried to shift under his clothes, scarring be damned. He wasn’t fast enough, not yet, and this kill had to be one hit for it to work. She had to die believing it was Eren in her car. Only then would Eren be safe.
A bit longer, though, and maybe he could—
Another needle pricked his thigh, spreading dull paralysis up his body. Levi’s heart sank. He’d fought so hard for discipline, because killing people on purpose was preferable to killing them by accident. He’d locked himself away and trained and trained so he’d never be caught off guard, so nobody would ever take that hard-won control away from him. He was probably in trouble, he thought dimly.
Growing up he had never expected help; only in his teens did he learn that there were people who existed in order to save others. He hadn’t considered it in years, but now he allowed himself the thought, because he had no other recourse: Maybe somebody would come rescue him.
(they wouldn’t, he knew. It was better for them if he died. Maybe Erwin was tired of him and wanted to get rid of him – but Erwin had promised, he’d promised -)
(nobody would come for him because heroes never saved him they never saved the bad guys)
(help)