Chapter Text
Once everything was ready – the Horcrux researched thoroughly, the duplicate flawless, his plan thought out – Regulus turned to the thing he’d been dreading most.
He sat down at his desk, pulled out a piece of parchment, and thought about what to write. How could he write what he needed to write?
He decided to start with a simple Dear Sirius. There. That was easy enough.
Now to figure out how to explain the rest. He knew he couldn’t tell his brother about the Horcruxes. Even if Sirius believed him, it would put him in far too much danger. No one else could know about that.
But he could tell his brother that he’d left.
He rather thought the other Death Eaters would think he’d been killed by the Order or by Aurors – he didn’t think he’d betrayed his intentions to Barty or anyone in his family. The Order and the Ministry, likely, wouldn’t care.
As for Sirius… Regulus felt some strong compulsion to ensure that his brother knew that he’d turned on the Dark Lord. If nothing else, then for some personal sense of closure.
He was going to die, anyway, after all.
If you receive this letter, then I will be dead. I’ll have left instructions with Kreacher to not deliver the letter until after the fact.
There. That meant that Sirius wouldn’t do something stupid, like go looking for him.
I have realised my mistake far too late, and the chances of my survival are virtually nonexistent. I realise now that the Dark Lord must be stopped, and that I can no longer serve for his Cause.
I’ve considered all of my options, and none of them end in my survival – at least not one in a world that I want to live in.
Please do not try to contact anyone in the family. Knowing why I will have done what I have to will only put them in more danger, especially with Narcissa’s baby on the way.
You said once that you’d always be my brother. If that was true, then perhaps I’ve made you proud, or at the very least, undone some of the damage I’ve caused.
R.A.B.
He still had some finishing touches, but he sealed the letter with the family seal and put it in his desk. He’d tell Kreacher to ensure Sirius received the letter after he was already dead. There was no use, after all, getting it to Sirius before he died.
If his brother was still half the man Regulus thought he was, it would only put Regulus’s plan into jeopardy. And the Dark Lord needed to be stopped.
Two days after he’d penned the letter, Regulus went to say goodbye to Barty. It was a freezing winter night, and Regulus wondered idly if he’d freeze if he didn’t drown.
Barty’s apartment was warm, and Barty talked animatedly about the Cause. Why couldn’t he see how terrible it all was? Muggles might not be worth as much as Wizards , but to slaughter them so cruelly, to use them as playthings with the Cruciatus… Regulus forced himself not to think, forced the bile back down his throat.
To stop Barty talking, Regulus kissed him. “I need to go on a mission tomorrow,” Regulus said. “Top secret. Won’t be back for a while.”
“ You ?” Barty asked with a laugh.
“Yes, me . Now what do you say we have some fun before I have to go?”
After all, Regulus thought, if the potion he was about to drink made him relive his worst memories, it was only fair to try to shove another good one in there. And if having sex with Barty didn’t bring him anything beyond physical pleasure anymore… that physical pleasure had to count for something, right?
“Kreacher,” Regulus called upon arriving home the following afternoon.
The elf appeared in Regulus’s room. “Master Regulus called.”
“I did,” Regulus said. He rifled through his drawer and got out his letter to Sirius. “We’re going back to that lake tonight, like I said, and please don’t protest.”
Kreacher, who had looked ready to lay his life on the line to ensure Regulus didn’t go, shut his mouth and looked ill.
“After everything, I need you to come back here and give this letter to Sirius. Do not read it, and do not tell anyone that I had you give him this letter. Understood?”
Kreacher nodded miserably.
“You are not to tell any of the family what I’ve done, and that includes Sirius. If they ask, tell them that you have no idea where I am, or when or even if I’ll be back. You can use excuses, but do not tell them the truth.”
Kreacher nodded again, pulling on his ears this time.
“I have to do this,” Regulus said. “I’m doing this for you, and for Mum and Dad and the Family.” And for Sirius and Barty, but he’d never tell Kreacher that.
“Even if Mum or Dad or anyone in the family orders you to tell them what’s happened, you are not to tell them the truth.”
After all, he had to protect them. Once he was satisfied that Kreacher would do as he said, Regulus readied himself for the cave. He made sure that he had the duplicate locket in his pocket, and he’d given Kreacher express directions to destroy the original.
He didn’t let himself think about what might happen if he failed. He’d already made too many mistakes to fail at this, too.
And so Regulus set off with Kreacher to the lake, to try to bring the Dark Lord down.