Chapter Text
First he lost his webbing.
Every hour for 2 days, Peter went somewhere private and tested all of his powers. Sticky hands, check, senses, check, webbing, check, muscles, check, strength, check.
Peter was up in his room when he noticed it.
He was trying to get his mind off what had happened by watching a movie. He was still paranoid that it was gone, so he tried again.
Nothing came out.
Peter got up from his bed and tried out his other arm. Nothing came out. He tried over and over again, but nothing would come out. Peter didn’t notice the tears running down his face as he stared down at his arms. Just then a knock came from the door. “Peter?”
Peter tried to make his voice as calm as possible. “Please go away”
“Kid” the voice said again.
“Please. Leave” Peter’s voice was louder.
“Pete just let me-”
“I SAID LEAVE PLEASE”
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One by one. The avengers were being cleared of all charges. First was Steve. All of them got the notification, except for Peter. And speaking of Peter.
“Sir, Mr. Parker appears to be having a panic attack.”
“I’ve got it” Tony said, heading to the elevator.
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Tony knocked on the door. “Peter?”
He heard a small ‘please go away’. Tony tried again/ he didn’t want the kid blocking everyone out. “Kid”
This time he heard a ‘please leave’ and it was louder. Tony could hear the quiver the kid’s voice. He tried one more time. “Pete just let me-” he was cut off
“I SAID LEAVE PLEASE”
Tony’s face was in a sympathetic look as he heard the kid’s quiet sobs.
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At some point during his meltdown, Peter went back into his bed and fell asleep. Around 2:30 am, Peter woke up to his stomach begging for food. He figured everyone else would be asleep as he rode the elevator down to the main living area.
Peter was looking for something to eat in the cabinets when he heard someone sneeze. Peter flinched. But didn’t turn around. He didn’t want to look at anyone. Peter quickly grabbed a half eaten box of poptarts and went back into his room.
On the elevator ride, he realised his spidey sense was gone. Peter’s breathing sharted to become short again has he held onto the pole in the elevator. What he didn’t notice was his enhanced hearing was also starting to fade.
The same day Bucky and Sam were cleared.
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Peter paced around his room. He used to do that a lot. It helped him to think. He also walked around the walls and ceilings. He didn’t realize when he was doing it. Peter was currently walking along the wall when he slipped for a second. Thinking he was on the floor Peter put his hands down to catch himself.
Then he realized he was on the wall. “No no no no no no no no” he whispered to himself.
He slowly put his hand up higher and pulled himself up. His hand stuck, but when he tried his foot, he slipped again. Peter put his foot and hung there like his life depended on it… because it almost did. He was a nobody without his powers.
Peter stayed there, head presses against the wall until he slowly started to slide down the wall. When Peter’s feet touched the floor, he tried climbing up the wall again. He couldn’t stick to the wall. Peter tried again, this time with a running start and still nothing.
Peter put his hand on a book and tried to pick it up. Still, nothing. Peter wasn’t in tears this time… he was angry- wait no- furious. Peter walked around his room, holding his breath, and his fists clenched. Peter looked back at the wall, slowly walked into it, and punched it.
Peter let out a grunt of pain as he held his now red hand. He looked up to the wall and there wasn’t even a scratch. Go ahead and take superhuman strength off the list that makes Peter special.
Nat and Scott were cleared that day.
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When Peter woke up this morning, he decided he wanted to go outside. He could go outside after all, being free and everything. Being free to let the innocent die. But first he needed to shower. His mind didn’t register the decrease in his muscle tone. He was past trying to stop it.
After a refreshing shower, Peter put on jeans and a hoodie and went downstairs to grab some food before leaving. Half of the avengers were sitting around the tv watching the news, and the other half were eating at the table. “Hey Pete” Clint said.
Peter ignored him, grabbing a water bottle and a few other things. “Where are you heading?” Clint asked again, trying to get something out of the kid.
Once again, Peter ignored him and walked towards the elevator. “Kid-” Tony said this time.
A sharp “don’t” came from Peter as the elevator doors closed.
The rooms was silent as everyone watched him leave.
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Walking around the streets of New York was odd. Peter felt like his head was under water. He could hear, but he couldn’t hear everything. It was like someone had put earmuffs on him. Earmuffs that he couldn’t take off.
He got a few odd looks, but nobody came up to him. Nobody probably even recognized him. He was nothing without his powers. Peter continued to wander around the streets until he found a park bench to sit on. At this time, he would’ve eaten everything and still be starving, but now, now he wasn’t the slightest bit hungry.
No more fast metabolism.
Peter looked down at his bruised hand.
No more super healing.
On the way back to the tower, Peter ended up giving his food to someone on the street. Peter was a few blocks away from the tower when he saw a huge explosion just a block over. His instinct kicked in for a second as he started to run to help.
But then he stopped. And he was out of breath. Because he isn’t spiderman anymore. He’s not a superhero. He’s normal. Another explosion happened, snapping Peter out of his thoughts and this time he saw the avengers battling something. He couldn’t quite see what it was due to all the commotion… but what he could see was ALL of the avengers. Even the ones who were supposed to be criminals. Fighting.
Peter stood and watched for a moment before taking a different root back to the tower.
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Once he got back, he sat in the main living area and turned on the News. He watched the fight from there. It was some green alien thing with a bunch of tentacles. Peter had fought one before. It had been smaller, but he had still won.
Peter watched the aftermath. The casualties. The ones he could have saved if he was there. The elevator dinged and Peter heard people talking. He stood up and took the stairs up to his room, not making eye contact with any of them.
Clint had been cleared that morning.
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After a few hour nap, Peter woke up and it was dark out. “Friday, where’s Mr. Stark at?” Peter asked.
“Sir is currently in his personal lab”
Peter rode the elevator and didn’t bother knocking. Tony was alerted that peter was coming, and he turned around when he heard him come in. “Hey kid, come sit down with me. I’m working on a new prototype for-”
Peter cut him off. “Can you contact Midtown tomorrow and ask for the work I need to make up and the work to finish the year?”
Tony paused for a second before answering. “Uhh… sure”
“Ok” Peter said before turning around and leaving.
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Peter sat in the passenger seat as he and Tony went to his school. The principal said they needed to talk with him before pulling him out of school. They arrived at the school while class was going on. The lady at the front desk checked them in and said to go down to the conference room. Peter walked there was Tony followed him. He hadn't said a word to him all morning.
As they were almost there, the bell rang for class to end and the hall was flooded with students. Everyone stopped and started to point and shout to their friends when they saw the Tony Stark. But they went quiet when they saw the long lost Peter Parker standing next to him. When they saw spiderman.
One of those kids was Flash. Peter and Flash locked eyes as Flash’s mouth slowly started to open. “Come’on kid” Tony said, butting his arm around Peter’s shoulder and directing him away from the crowd.
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“And why Mr. Parker would you like to be taught from home” his principal asked.
“I think you can figure it out for yourself” Peter said sarcastically.
The principal looked over to Tony and he Tony nodded. “Well, I don’t see why this would be a problem. The only time you need to be here is for finals. He’s all of the work you need to do”
“Thank you for your time” Tony said as they left.
Peter still hadn’t talked to him.
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Over the next few months, peter continued to shut everyone out. He would get up before the crack of dawn, make himself breakfast, go and work out for a few hours, trying to regain some of his muscles, skip lunch, do his school work, eat dinner in silence with everyone else, sit on the balcony outside of his room, and then finally go to bed.
He had gotten a Stark phone, but had yet to text Ned. It didn’t feel natural. The longer he waited, the harder it would be.
Then finals week came.
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Peter had to show up to his school for half a day for a week with everyone else to take the classes he needed to move on. He walked into the class with kid sharing last minute information. Peter had his hood up and nobody paid attention to him as he walked past them to sit in the back of his class.
Peter took off his hood and stared at his happy classmates. Nobody noticed him as he watched everyone. They were happy. None of them cared about him. The teacher came into the room and the kids scrambled to their seats. Peter heard a small “Hey” before started the test. MJ was sitting next to him.
Peter was the first one done with his test. Walking back to his seat, he saw a few wide eyes looking back at him. When the test was over, Peter pulled his hood back up and went to his next class before anyone could talk to him.
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Peter was the first one to his next class. They were giving the students a 15 minute break to use the bathroom and get some food before taking their next exam. Peter sat there with his head down looking at his hands when the next student walked in.
It was Flash.
Peter looked up and they made eye contact. Flash looked like he was going to say something, but Peter looked away and started to read the inspirational cat posters along the wall. “What are you doing back here. I thought you were in jail or something” Flash said, unable to let go of his ego for a minute.
Peter ignored Flash and continued to read. “Aren’t you going to say something” Flash asked again.
Peter turned and looked at him, still not saying a word. Peter shifted in his seat as more students walked into the room, and all saw him.
A few minutes later the entire class was surrounding his desk asking him questions about what it was like to meet the avengers and be spiderman. Peter sat there staring into space as people continued to ask him questions. Some kid asked “What was it like being on the Raft?”
Peter looked at the kid with a pained look and shifted in his seat again. “Please don’t ask that again” Peter said, which only made kids ask more.
The teacher for this class saved Peter when he came in and started the test. Peter, once again, was the first to finish his test, but he had to wait until the testing time was over. As kids finished there tests, they kept their eyes on Peter, seeing if he would do anything cool or spiderman like.
Peter pretended like he didn’t see them and he pretended like he didn’t hear their questions as he put back up his hood and walked out of the classroom.
Outside he saw Tony waiting to drive him back, but he walked past him to take the long way home.
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It was the third day when Peter broke.
Peter could handle the questions and the constant nagging for only so long. It was during the break when everyone found out what class he had next. People were yelling and pushing their way past their piers to get to see the spiderman. The questions continued about his powers… and about the Raft.
“Why didn’t you try and escape the Raft while you were down there?”
Peter suddenly stopped and turned around to the kid who asked the question. “Why didn’t I escape. Why didn’t I escape”
A few people started to back away from him. “I didn't escape because they had a collar around my next. Because they took me away and did experiments, trying to understand what makes me a freak. What used to make me a freak . How they could stop it. I didn’t escape because when I did something they didn’t like, I was put in solitary. I DON’T HAVE ANYBODY LEFT TO JUST PLEASE LEAVE ME ALONE. I DON’T HAVE ANY POWERS ANYMORE. I GOT THAT TAKEN AWAY TOO. SO PLEASE STOP ASKING. I’LL TELL YOU STUFF THAT I WANT YOU TO KNOW”
Now there was at least 2 feet of space surrounding Peter. People got out of his way as he walked to his next class. Nobody sat next to him or even get near him for the rest of his tests.
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Peter continued to isolate himself in the summer. With no work to do and no friends to see, he spent almost all of his time in the gym, training. Trying to get back any of his strength and agility he had. He had gained a good amount back, but he would never get what he used to have. You’re worthless you’re worthless you’re worthless. The only person he allowed to be near him was Natasha while he was in there.
She was teaching him how to fight. It he could fight, he could be of use. He just wasn’t allowed to be spiderman. He could be an agent. They’ll still lock you up. He still didn’t speak to her. She didn’t really seem to care… or want to talk. He liked that about her. He didn’t like being pushed with questions.
Peter also spent the nights on his balcony. He had always enjoyed the city lights. It was the one thing that hadn’t changed. Sitting from a high spot watching the world go on without you. It was nice. It was peaceful. Nobody was there to bother him. To tell him how bad he was.
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Peter graduated high school at 17 and was accepted into MIT. His eye sight could now get worse, and he had to get glasses. At a glance, you wouldn’t be able to tell that it was him. Peter also cut his hair short, and his face had become more adult like.
He went to MIT with a different name. As a different person. As someone new. He had never texted Ned, even though he still had his number. It was probably outdated though.
He cut off all contact with the avengers. He didn’t go back to the tower during the summer. Instead, he got a job and an apartment.
Every once in a while, he would hear his old name pop up. He didn’t think anything of it. When he saw someone in danger, he walked past it, not giving the situation a second chance.
He had friends. He went out as a normal adult. He even had a girlfriend. Even though it didn’t last long. You can’t have a wife. You can’t have kids. They’ll have powers and be hated and be tested on. He lived a somewhat normal life.
At age 23, he graduated with a degree in engineering, human anatomy, and technological medicine.
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Tony Stark was working in his personal lab late at night when he heard someone come through the door. “Friday, I thought I told you no visitors” Tony said, not looking up.
Friday didn’t respond and Tony looked to see who it was.
It was Peter. Standing right in front of him.
The actual Peter Parker.
The Peter Parker who just left like that. WIthout a warning. He thought he had wanted the chip turned off and had ended up in jail. “Hey” Tony said.
“Hey” Peter said, sitting down across from him and picking up something to tinker with.
They sat there in silence, but welcoming each others presence. Tony didn’t say anything about the glasses. He didn’t want to make him uncomfortable. “I graduated MIT a while ago. I got a job at some biotechnology lab. I start next week. I thought you just wanted to know”
It took all of Tony’s power not to explode on the kid. He wanted to yell at him, but at the same time wrap him in a bunch of blankets and feed him ice cream. “Are you planning on staying or anything?” Tony asked.
“I dunno. I was thinking of staying for breakfast, they don’t like you. they want you gone. they don’t want to see you anymore. you’re worthless. but now I’m kinda second guessing the choice” Peter said, looking down.
“You should. They’ll be happy to see you” Tony said. “You should get some rest”
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Happy was an exaggeration. Peter was nowhere to be found in the morning. All he left was a note on the table that said ‘ I couldn’t go through with this. I’m changing my name and moving. I’ll be fine… I’m sorry’
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Peter Parker is long gone. Someone else walks in his body. He lied about the job he had. He had gotten a different one… a better one. One where he could help. Where he could do good.
He hides his powers.
But he still fights
No one knows you like you know you and no one probably never will…
You can grow up, make news ones, but the truth is…
That we grow up, then we wish that we can go back then...