Chapter Text
THIS. IS. IT.
Who'll get the remote for the whole month? Daisy? K. Rool? Dedede? Or maybe a few others get caught up in the midst of things...
The time is now.
3:55pm.
At the Punch Out!! Boxing Ring Stage.
Just about 5 minutes away from the showdown between the Heel Pokemon and the little champion boxer.
"Preparations" were being made there. And when I mean by "preparations", it was really just the Ice Climbers, Nana and Popo, trying to wrap some new ribbon around the battle ring for the fight. Nana and Popo are both the youngest kids in the tourney, and almost everyone in the roster treat them like they're 3-year-olds while they don't like being fussed over. Well, if they keep crying and having meltdowns every time they lose a match, you'd start commiserating with them! I guess that's why they took matters into their own hands and tried to contribute to the fight.
"We're not BABIES!" they would whine.
Anyways, so the children were absent-mindedly wrapping some the ribbon around these poles in the ring, and Falco happened to arrive at the scene.
Okay, so what he really wanted a another bet from them. He knew that the Ice climbers could be rather naive and simple-minded, as they were like, what, 6 or 7 years old? Placing bets on the win with them will be equivalent to taking candy from a baby.
"What are you two doing?!" Falco demanded. "It's supposed to be around the ring, you punks!"
The children turned around to see the space pilot, and smiled like little angels as he snatched the ribbon tape off them and wrapped it back.
Now it was the time to strike.
"Pity you two haven't got any money. If you could bet on Little Mac, I'd give you great odds," Falco grinned fiendishly, hoping they would take the bait. They did, of course.
The Climbers looked at each other and then looked up at Falco.
"We've got 50 coins!" the both of them said in unison with glee, as if offering money to a cunning scammer was totally normal and not risky.
"Awww! Why didn't you say?!" Falco crooned, sounding like a nursery school teacher. "Where is it, you cute little nuggets?"
"It's in our bank book!"
Big mistake, You guys.
Before you could say, "Final Destination" Falco had already put the ribbon used for the ring to good use.
By tying up the poor, innocent little kids against a pole with it. They didn't seem to mind though. Popo and Nana found this whole little situation rather amusing, and they giggled and laughed like hysterical chipmunks.
I bet they're going to be stuck against that pole for a while, as the rest of the roster where either around the Ultimate World, or they did give a hoot for the fight.
Back at the Mansion, Lucina had given up on finding the remote (that Peach had) and had decided to go and watch a bloodshed brawl between a short boxer and an unruly carnivore (?).
That's when the Mushroom Princess herself appeared behind her.
"Hey, Lucy!" she called.
"Not now, Peach," Lucina grumbled. "If I can't watch a bit of television, I'll just have to go to the fight. I could do with a laugh."
Princess Peach smiled really big all of a sudden.
"Just a minute! How about a little wager?" she offered.
I knew it. This is all Falco's fault. With him and his pointless bets and wagers. Look what he's done to poor Peach! He'll infect the rest of the roster soon if they're not careful. Just like the Ice Climbers.
Lucina put her hands on her hips in frustration."Ugh! Not you as well! I've had enough of of Falco and his foolish deals!"
"Ah! But that's where I come in. I have something even better than what he can offer!"
"Peach, believe me. You haven't anything that I'd be the slightest bit interested in."
I bet you can guess what happened next.
3:59pm.
At the Punch Out!! Boxing Ring Stage.
About 60 seconds until it all goes down!
The ring had been all wrapped up properly by Red the Pokemon Trainer (who saw the Ice Climbers tied up and knew that Falco had been up to no good) and a few fighters had showed up for the showdown. The lights had been shone brightly towards the ring, however, there was nobody else in the audience seats apart from the champions and the others.
King Dedede had pushed a slightly-wimpish Little Mac to the ring, while Lucario and Incineroar where there, unfortunately, the Heel Pokemon himself was also having last minute jitters on whether to fight him.
*This next bit of dialogue shows Incineroar talking to Lucario, however, he's not really speaking English. This is a translation.
"Are you kidding me? You'd said he'd be so cuccoo to fight me that he'd never show up!"
"Yeah, but..."
"But, at the same time, why would I fight him? He's pathetic! I do feel sorry for him though."
Lucario was dabbing Incineroar's face with a towel while they discussed the matter. They looked over at Dedede with Mac, who forcefully took off his pink hoodie off him.
"I bet Dedede's making him fight against his own will!"
He sighed and contiuned to dab the kitty's face.
"Okay, so I MIGHT of made a slight miscalculation on that one."
"Slight?! You know very well I can't fight this guy!"
"Look Cinny, just bluff it out!"
King Dedede looked as if he was grilling some last minute tips or useless advice to Mac, because he seemed to be yelling something incoherent at him, while Mac just stood in front on him, looking as if he wanted to give up on life.
"Just look at him! He's wobbling like a jelly. He's bound to back down. Trust me."
Lucario finished getting him ready. He threw the towel over his shoulder and very briefly stroked the Heel Pokemon's furry cheek, making him purr for like 2 seconds. One of Roary's biggest weaknesses is that he loves scratches under the chin. Take notes, people.
Then he was shoved into under the ring after 2 seconds of comfort.
The fighters present at the fight were:
Princess Daisy (her evil plan to swipe the remote)
Princess Peach (referee)
Lucina (Peach's bet)
Red the Pokemon Trainer (responsible for Incineroar, well, kind of.)
Ice Climbers, Popo and Nana (?)
King Dedede (Mac's trainer)
King K. Rool (Cinny's "trainer")
King Bowser (he has to support his bestie)
Falco (to scam everyone)
Lucario (mainly responsible for Incineroar)
Memories are made of this.
Little Mac VS Incineroar. Let's go.
"Hey, you kids better step back if you wanna be splattered by his blood!" Falco teased, pointing at Incineroar.
That statement was aimed at the Ice Climbers, who covered their faces and whimpered in fear, while Daisy comforted them and glared at the pilot.
K. Rool and Dedede wished the champions luck.
The spectators were all fired up and ready for another fight, even though they were all going to get in trouble for unauthorised fighting, and not for training purposes.
"Champions!" Peach announced, standing in the middle of the ring, and held both Cinny and Mac's arms just like after a wrestling match. "When I, the fair lady of this round drop my hanky, this battle will..."
Peach lets go of the champions' arms and as they go to their corners, she takes the handkerchief from her tall hat.
"Commence...!" she echoed and seemingly dropped the hanky in slow motion and walked away.
Dedede and K. Rool smirked at each other as once again, they heard Master Hand's voice in their heads.
3...2...1... GO!
Well, the battle was off to a cowardly start.
Cinny first of all, tried to yell an almighty "INCINI!" as he always does when about to battle, but it came out wrong, like a dog whimper or whatever. King Dedede nervously cheered for Little Mac, while he circled around the cat, legs shaking and all.
"Come on, mash him up!" Falco yelled.
"What are you waiting for, you scaredy cat? GO FOR IT!" K. Rool screamed.
"It's ONLY Tiny Mac! You can duff him up real easy!" Daisy hollered, pounding her fists.
"Go on, punch him or something!" Dedede wailed in desperation. He too, was feeling sorry for Little Mac, having to fight against his own will, just for Dedede to win the remote for the month. To be honest, Mac should get his share of the remote, if he's doing all this for the king.
"NO MERCY, ROARY!" Red screeched.
"Use Cross Chop or something!"
"Turn into Giga Mac!"
Nothing happened. Both champions still wouldn't lay a finger on each other, they just continued to circle around each other around the ring like crabs. This was rather spectacular sight; NO ONE had ever seen Incineroar nervous before, or refusing to fight (well, except if he had to fight someone "weak" like Jigglepuff or someone he finds puny opponents rather boring) and Little Mac is always up for a challenge.
The spectators continued to yell at them to brawl, but all they got was Mac trying to wave his fists around in a mocking fashion, while Roary was jumping up an down, "intimidatingly" like a leprechaun.
It was very clear that they didn't want to hurt each other over a stupid channel changer.
Popo and Nana frightfully leaned into Dedede.
"Will they be alright?" they asked him.
The self-proclaimed King of Dreamland licked his dry lips and went red slightly and tried to smile.
"Whatever happens, I'll look after 'im..." he reassured them. But then his voice wavered.
Looking back, he thought it was just going to be all him VS. King K. Rool, he now thought it was a bad idea to drag other characters into their beef they've had since August. It was unfair, having to get them fight for them, but since nobody wanted him and Rool fighting again (because of Master Hand and the tournament's sake) they'd turned to this. And it had totally backfired.
I went too far...
The battle was completely pointless at this point. Dedede knew if that the Original 12 (who are having their meeting with no knowledge of the events) found out about this, both Kings were going to lose their places in the Tourney for an unauthorised battle. Or worse.
Lost in his thoughts, he began to notice there was at least a little bit of action in the ring.
Turns out Incineroar had decided to roar and growl hysterically at Little Mac to scare him, which sorta seemed to be working, as he would often retreat back to his corner or tremble like a jelly.
Little Mac gritted his teeth and made a horrible face in retaliation, but to be honest, he looked constipated.
The spectators continued grilling the both of them for physical contact, with K. Rool, Red and Bowser howling at them like wolves, Daisy jumping and banging like Bowser Jr. in a tantrum, Falco prancing about, waving everyone's money in the air like there was no tomorrow, with Dedede standing in the middle, staring at the mess he'd made.
It was complete and utter chaos.
"IIIIINNNCINEROOOOOARRR!!" the Heel Pokemon roared, and waved his arms and jumped about, just to gain attention from the audience like the show-off he was.
Mac couldn't even lay a finger on him, with the cat growling and stomping about the ring.
Okay, so he wasn't really acting scary towards the boxer anymore, he was just being really silly. At some point he stuck his his giant, pink tongue, with his eyes all derp, out while he cried to entertain the Ice Climbers, (he's supposedly mad about children, eh?) but they just let out a high pitched scream and ran away.
"Aaaaaaaaaaaaarrrggggghhhhh!"
King Dedede watched the tiny tots run away from the scene.
I guess it's time ta call it off. King K. *female dog* can marreh da remote if 'e wants to. He thought.
Concurrently, during all the madness, the Perfect attendance crew were residing in the Mansion Conference room, chilling out and having their meeting while sipping cups of tea. Isabelle and Palutena were also there, I guess, because of how they tried to contribute to K. Rool and Dedede's little escapade.
"Lovely peaceful day..." Isabelle sighed, sipping her hot drink. "No rows, no aggro... you see, modern discipline really-"
That's when the secretary saw the last person she expected to walk in to disrupt the meeting... King Dedede of course!
"Hey, ya'll can carry on as if I ain't here. It shouldn't be a problem. No one evah listens to me anehway," Dedede walked in, and pushed past Captain Falcon who was leaning against the table, with a mug. King Dedede scanned the room.
The Goddess of Light Palutena narrowed her eyes at him. "Dedede, what's going on?" she asked sternly.
"Nothin'," Dedede shrugged. "Erm, do ya'll know where Dr. Mario is?"
"Dr. Mario?!" his plumber alter ego exclaimed.
"Ugh, what have you done?" Samus sighed and rolled her eyes.
The king of Dreamland tried very hard to be casual, but it was tough, considering the circumstances.
"I told ya'll, nothin'. But, don't believe lil' innocent Triple D."
He went across the room to look inside filing cabinet to see if he could find a First-Aid Kit instead.
"...Go on, get da lie detector, da truth drugs... da thumb screws."
He turned to look at everyone in the room, who were now glaring at him.
"Dedede!!" they scolded in unison (well, except Yoshi, Jigglypuff, Pikachu and Kirby).
Dedede decided that now it was the time to implicitly come clean to them.
"How typical. I ain't doin' nothin'. Every other fighter in dis here World could be involved in armed revolution, but who gets put on blast for it...? Lil' ol me." he lamented.
There was a brief moment of silence in the room.
However, it took Mario about 2 seconds to find out what was going on, and in that retrospect, he spat out the remaining hot tea he had at his poor brother like a water gun.
"ARMED REVOLUTION?!" he shrilled, and slammed his cup onto the table, and legged it out of the Conference Room, with Dedede and the others dashed after him (it was hard for Luigi, still trying to wipe off the tea he had all over himself).
Within practically 3 minutes, The Originals, Palutena, Isabelle and Dedede had arrived at the scene, and found Little Mac and Incineroar who STILL hadn't laid a finger on one another, and had continued to circle around the ring fearfully, with their fists raised. The spectators and Falco were still forcing them to brawl, though it looked as if they were getting fed up of the champions' shenanigans.
This wrestling match was very well a complete and utter FLOP!
"What the-!" Isabelle yelled.
When Falco turned and saw the unexpected audience, he was like, "Hey, you guys can't stop this battle! There's bets on!"
"I'm not surprised," his partner, Fox McCloud, scoffed.
Little Mac and Incineroar saw the Originals, and smiled at them nervously.
"Um... actually Cinny, do you prefer, to um, thumb wrestle?" Little Mac asked rather shyly.
A toothy grin grew on the kitty's face, and he nodded vigorously.
"Incin, incin!" ("Yes, yes!")
Then Little Mac's face lit up. He finally had a chance to end this NIGHTMARE once and for all.
"Actually, d'know what? Do you want to come and meet my mentor and long-time friend, Doc Louis? I'm sure you two will pretty much hit it off!"
Lucario, K. Rool and Red glared at them and tried to get their attention, but both fighters ignored them.
"Whoa, whoa whoa! Where you think you two are going?" the Kremling demanded.
"You up for it?"
The Heel Pokemon agreed and they exited the Boxing Ring Stage, back to the Mansion, ultimately terminating the "wrestling match".
"Oh, COME ON!" Bowser growled.
"But what about the FIGHT?!" Falco whined.
"Finished!" Peach sighed monotonously. She obviously thought that the fight was a waste everyone's time. However, K. Rool was furious.
"Well, ladies and gentlemen, that means all bets are off! I keep the money." Falco declared.
Told you he was a scammer!
The Originals & Dedede just stared at them in disbelief as they all began to argue.
"WHAT? Heck no!" Lucario rowed.
"Um, heck yes!"
"Speaking of money..." Peach grumbled, arms folded and confronted Daisy.
"I want mine back NOW, Daisy!"
The Princess of Sarasaland scoffed and scowled at her friend.
"You ain't getting no cash back. Not until that channel changer's in my hands," she said ominously, which almost startled the mushroom princess.
King K. Rool got in on the action, too. Like I said before, he was absolutely steamed at this whole situation.
"EXCUSE ME, LITTLE MISS FLOWER-HEAD!" K. Rool howled right in the Princess's face, and practically knocked Peach to the floor.
"Have you forgotten YOU and I had a deal?! You'd provide me cash for that SLEAZY blue mutt and that PATHETIC flaming pussycat!"
"Say that again..."
"YOU HEARD!"
The kremling threw a hissy fit, jumping up and down.
"Yeah, well, I've got different preferences. I lied. Why would I want your 1-month-old banana stash you nabbed from the Kongs? And when I mean preferences... I mean the REMOTE!" Daisy roared.
"THIS WAS BETWEEN DEDEDE AND I! Ugh! I NEVER should've got any of you involved in all this! THE. REMOTE. BELONGS. TO. ME!"
Daisy's face must be full of crocodile saliva right now.
"Well, NONE of you can have the remote, because I've got it!" Lucina announced, and climbed into the wrestling ring, raising the sacred trophy above her head.
They all climbed in after Lucina, and it all went from there.
"GIMME GIMME, GIMME!"
"HOW DID YOU GET THAT BEAUTIFUL THING?!"
"GIVE IT HERE!"
"OI, YOU'VE HAD IT LONG ENOUGH!"
"JUNIOR AND I NEED TO WATCH THE REST OF GODZILLA!"
"WELL, I NEED TO WATCH MY ORIGINS MOVIE!"
"I NEED TO WATCH THE MOVIE WHERE I DIED IN FRONT OF ASH!"
"MWAHAHAHAHAHAHA! THE REMOTE IS MINE!"
"I HAVEN'T HAD IT AT ALL!"
"DONKEY KONG COUNTRY FTW!"
etc, etc, etc.
The Originals stood on the sidelines and watched the hullabaloo unfold.
Mario sank to his knees and buried his face in his hands, sobbing, wondering whether he should pack his bags and leave the World Of Smash for eternity or stay having to deal with a bunch of loonies until the Tournament celebrates its centennial year, as Palutena, Isabelle and Luigi comforted him. Donkey Kong cheered jokingly, only to be jabbed in the ribs by Samus. Pikachu, Jigglypuff, and Kirby just stared into oblivion. Or maybe they were thinking the same as the plumbers.
King Dedede just folded his arms and tried very hard to burst into peals of laughter.
I know I've made this joke too many times, but...
ALL THIS FOR A STUPID CHANNEL CHANGER.
"EVERYONE! All of you! Stop this nonsense right now!" Palutena tried to scold.
"Ya'll should get 'em to write nice things 'bout each other," Dedede suggested. "Ten nice things."
He shot the Goddess an artificial smile at her, and Palutena couldn't help but smile back.
Mario had stopped weeping. He got up from his feet, and stomped towards the fight.
"EVERYONE, A-PLEASE, CALM-A DOWN, NOW!" Mario screeched like Ridley.
That brought the fight to a standstill. Princess Peach stared at her almost-boyfriend worriedly, clutching the remote. He'd never seen Mario this angry before.
"Princess Peach Toadstool," he began, and thrust a hand out at her. "Changer, please."
The other fighters gaped at Peach, and shook their heads vigorously and prayed not to give it to him.
"No, Peach, don't give it to him!"
"Please no!"
"No. Just no."
"Don't you dare do it."
What was the point? Peach just did was Mario was asked, regardless of their pleads.
Of course, they were all outraged at this.
"AWWW! Peach! Do you know what you have just DONE!?" Falco whined.
"PEEEAAACHHH!" Lucario cried like a toddler.
"Goody Goody Gumdrops!" Daisy and Bowser mocked. "You're such a Goody Goody!"
"Oh for Arceus' SAAKEEE-ARGH!" Red moaned over dramatically.
"What else could I do?!" Peach tried to warn them.
But they all just mocked Peach and imitated her timid actions. Normally, no-one would dare to do anything like this, but they were stropping on the account of the remote.
Mario walked back to where the the Originals were and handed the remote to Palutena.
"I, am-eh, at a loss for eh, words." Mario said. "If-a Master Hand could-a see eh, all of you now, he'd-a turn-a you into eh, puppet fighters or WORSE!"
They secretly trembled at that. No-one wanted to repeat the horrors of Galeem and Dharkon's invasion, in which everyone was killed. Pretty serious and psychological stuff.
The Originals nodded in agreement.
"Like Mario said, this is disgraceful behaviour." the Goddess echoed.
"There's only one person out of all of you who deserves this."
Princess Peach, Princess Daisy, King Bowser, Lucario the Aura Pokemon, Red the Pokemon Trainer, Falco Lombardi, King K. Rool, and Princess Lucina smirked and folded their arms in confidence. Then they heard the name of the very first person who started all the drama in the first place...
Palutena looked over to Dedede, and gave he a wink and smile.
"King Dedede of Dreamland...?"
"Why, thank ya'll vereh much!" he said smugly, and took the remote from her as the others watched enviously.
K. Rool looked as if he was going to BLOW A FUSE. Red veins grew on his head, and he shook uncontrollably. His large, bloodshot eye looked even redder than ever.
"Are. You. *banging* KIDDING ME?!" he hissed.
"I guess I have to be happy for him," Bowser shrugged, suppressing a grin.
"Why him?" Daisy asked.
Everyone's mouths were wide open. Well, they shouldn't be surprised anyway. It started off to be Dedede and K. Rool's beef, after all. Dragging innocent bystanders like Popo and Nana into it wasn't fair!
King Dedede turned to them, still grinning at them in triumph, especially to his nemesis. It looks as if he won that "fight" after all.
"I'm sorreh, but I can't stay here, ya'll," he announced. Then a devilish smile grew on his face.
"I gotta go ask Little Mac and Cinny if they wanna watch some wrestling wid me! "HEH, HEH, HEH. HEH, HEH HEEHH!"
And with that, he turned around, and sprinted towards the exit waving the remote in the air, laughing, while the Originals watched him leave, and the rest yelled at him in frustration.
"YOU'LL PAY FOR THIIIISSS!!!!" K. Rool let out an ear-popping growl.
King Dedede - 1
King K. Rool - 0
Colors weave into a spire of flame
Distant sparks call to a past sill unnamed
Bear this torch against the cold of the night
Search your soul and reawaken the undying light
On that day, when the sky fell away
Our world came to an end
In our eyes, did a fading sun rise in the dark?
Glimmering shadows
Silence grows, in the spaces between
stretching out beyond time
Rising up, as a chorus of souls find a voice
f lickering through the void
These little sparks, cling on to life,
everyone caught in the struggle,
And then the storms of change, they fan the flames
scattering ashes to the wind
Every soul contains a whisper of light
gleaming faintly as it dwindles from sight
No escape, no greater fate to be made
In the end, the chains of time will not break
Colors weave into a spire of flame
Distant sparks call to a past still unnamed
Bear this torch against the cold of the night
Search your soul and reawaken the undying light
As fate spins a thread without end,
new life draws its first breath,
Blossoming in a soil reclaimed from the past,
where destiny holds fast,
Here where we stand, hand clenched in hand
everyone caught in the struggle,
This is the day we finally find our way
stepping into our tomorrow
Every soul contains a whisper of light
growing louder as it calls to unite
From the distance sings a chorus of souls
rising slowly, stirring heat from the coals
Colors weave into a spire of flame
Distant sparks call to a past still unnamed
Bear this torch against the cold of the night
Light will guide you, on your way to the ultimate fight