Chapter Text
Mr. Garrison looked down at his clipboard then began calling out names. After each name came a ‘here’ before the teacher assigned every student a partner. Everyone chatted between themselves as the fourth graders prepared for a Box Top reward field trip to Stark’s Pond.
When it came to numbers, Tweek had been one of the higher contributors to their class Box Top total. Plenty of the boxes and mixes at the shop had Box Tops on them, and his parents agreed to let him cut the tops out if he also broke down the boxes for recycling.
Finally, Mr. Garrison clapped his hands and announced everyone had to hold their partner’s hand on the walk there.
“You’re responsible for your buddy. Don’t mess it up,” Mr. Garrison reminded.
Token bumped Tweek with his elbow then held out his hand. As they walked down the sidewalk, Token chatted with Craig and Clyde in front of him. Tweek nodded and added his two cents once or twice, but remained quiet otherwise. Waiting at the crosswalk, Tweek looked at Token while he chatted.
He’d never noticed before how nice Token’s profile was. No wonder all the girls fawned over him. He was rich, had nice features, good hair, shiny teeth, and his hand was so soft and—
Tweek nearly stumbled but caught himself before anyone took much notice.
Token was holding his hand, his sweaty, dirty hand.
When was the last time Tweek washed it? Before or after recess? Could Token feel all the callouses he had from sweeping and mopping the shop? Of course, he had to! Token’s hand was so soft!
“Tweek?” Craig said. “Tweek?” He repeated loud enough to jerk Tweek’s attention from Token and his hand to the pair in front of them.
Huh?” Tweek asked, a twitch coming over him.
“Dude, are you ok? You look really red,” Craig told him.
“I’m, I’m...” Tweek looked once at Token, who wore a concerned expression. “I’m not feeling well.” With that, he let go of Token’s hand, turned towards the road and vomited.
The lights in the nurse’s office buzzed as Tweek laid on the hard cot. His embarrassment made him pull the thin blanket over his head and wish he was dead.
The moment Clyde shouted, “Mr. Garrison! Tweek puked!”, all eyes turned towards Tweek, on his hands and knees, a small pool of stomach acid and ground up carrot sticks in front of him. The attention made him throw up the rest of his lunch.
Now the whole class thought he was gross.
Not to mention his parents would give him a lecture for getting sick and making one of them leave the shop.
The door open, and Tweek snapped his eyes shut.
“Just take a seat, sweetie. I’ll be back in just a second.” The nurse said. Someone walked and took the seat across the room and the door closed.
Tweak heard sniffing and dated to peek open his eyes.
Karen McCormick had a large scrape along her forearm and a bruise on her cheek. She held an ice pack to her face. Tears ran down her face. She didn't look happy, but this wasn't how she normally looked.
Kenny probably wouldn’t be happy if Tweek told him that Karen looked fine enough. Clearly, Kenny cared about his sister a lot. He deserved to know how she really was.
“Karen?” Tweek whispered.
She jumped and looked at him. “Oh, you’re one of Kenny’s friends.” She chewed her lip. “Kyle?”
“I’m Tweek,” Tweek corrected. “What happened?” He nodded at the ice pack.
Karen sniffled. “I got hit with a tether ball and fell on the black top.”
“Wow, that must have hurt. I’m sorry, but the nurse will have you fixed up in a jiffy.”
“I know. What about you? Why are you here?”
Tweak didn't particularly want to explain why he vomited or that the whole class staring made him do it twice, so instead, he explained he didn't feel well.
“A bell ache.” Tweek lifted a shoulder in a shrug.
“I hope you feel better.” Karen grinned crookedly, showing all her front teeth, including the two missing ones.
“You and Kenny have the same smile, ” Tweek replied in awe. He blushed then stammered, “sh-shit! I am so sorry! I didn't mean to—”
Karen shook her head. She lowered her icepack, revealing a black eye. With her free hand, she wiped her eyes on her wrist.
“Mommy said that too.” Karen put the icepack on her cheek.
“You must miss him a lot, don't you?”
“Yeah, but it's ok. Daddy says Kenny's up in Heaven, and I'll get to see him again when I'm an old granny,” She reassured. “Until then, he would want me to work hard and be happy! That's what Mommy said, too.”
“Your mom is right. He does--would. He would if he were still around, I mean.” Tweek caught himself from spilling his secret.
Karen smiled wryly. “Do you think God would let Kenny come visit tomorrow? Mom is making his favorite type of cake for his birthday. It would make her really happy if he came to eat with us.”
Tweak blinked. Kenny's birthday was tomorrow? He hadn’t known. Kenny didn’t mention it.
“Yeah, yeah, I’m sure God would be cool with that,” Tweek replied. “But I think angels are supposed to stay invisible on Earth, so you might not see him when he joins you.”
Karen’s eyes widen. They weren’t the same shade of blue as Kenny’s, but a warm brown. However, much like her smile, she shared the look in them with her brother. They held the same wonder that Kenny’s did. No doubt they were siblings.
She opened her mouth to speak, but the nurse came in then. Her expression was tired. After quickly doctoring Karen's arm, she shooed her off back to class with a new ice pack.
As she dug through a tub of clothes in the corner, she said to Tweek, “Tweek, dear, your mother is nearly here, you can go sit in the office with your bag.”
Tweak did as he was told.
In the office, he found Kyle, Jason White, and Jimmy Valmer sitting in front of Principal Victoria.
Each of them was dirty and soaking wet. Jason and Kyle looked annoyed and cold. Jason’s nose bleed and Kyle had a black eye to rival Karen's blooming over his right eye. Jimmy looked like the cat that ate the canary, despite his busted lip. One of his crunches had a slight bend to it and the other was caked with mud.
“I can’t believe you three jumped in Stark’s Pond on a dare, then starting a fight! I expect better from you three.” Principal Victoria sounded exasperated.
Jason wrang out his shirt over the trash as Kyle dropped his wet hat to his lap with a plop. Jimmy just beamed.
“We didn't jump in! Jimmy pushed us off the dock on a dare then jumped in himself,” Jason corrected with a glare.
“Mr. Garrison never sa- never sai- s-s-s—didn’t tell us we couldn’t jump in the pond,” Jimmy remark coyly, as though he just found the perfect loophole.
“You all could have frozen,” Principal Victoria chided.
“It’s March,” Jimmy told her. “You can’t freeze in M-March.”
“Maybe not in your old school, but you can here,” she stated. Pinching the bridge of her nose, Principal Victoria ordered all three of them into her office to discuss the apparent fight.
As they ushered in, Jimmy caught sight of Tweek. He gave a friendly wave, that Tweek slowly returned.
“Feel better,” Jimmy mouthed to him.
Jimmy was so cool, Tweek thought. He was funny and smart, even if his lazy eye sometimes made Tweek feel like he was watching him when he wasn’t. The same wave of nausea that hit him when he was admiring Token came over him.as
Luckily this time, he was able to settle his stomach as he waited, head down, for his mom to come to take him home.
There was a funeral on Wednesday, so Tweek found Kenny just at the edge of his range, floating high up, trying to get a good view.
For whatever reason, Kenny could only go about ten feet in any direction from his grave before hitting a wall. The first time Kenny explained this in full, he demonstrated by pretending to be a mime stuck in a box. He even ‘picked’ an imaginary flower, smelled it, then offered it to Tweek.
As Tweek pretended to sniff the flower, Kenny impishly asked, “did you know flowers are a plant's junk?” causing Tweak to toss the flower to the ground with a blush.
Tweek watched Kenny for a moment from the tree. The funeral goers were slowly and tearfully clearing out back to their cars. It would be safe to venture over without anyone thinking too much of it.
Finally, Tweek cleared his throat.
Kenny twisted around.
“Dude, what are you doing here? You have work, right?” He asked, floating back to the ground.
Tweek beamed. “I barfed at school yesterday, and Dad won't make me work if I got sick the day before.”
He spun his backpack around to the front with an excited grin.
“Besides, I saw Karen in the nurse's office yesterday.”
Kenny came even closer, nearly invading his personal space. He bounced on his toes.
“How is she? Does she look ok?”
“She got hit with a tether ball and fell, but I think she is doing good otherwise. She misses you, and says your parents miss you, too, but she looked happy,” Tweek told him. He smiled sheepishly as he unzipped his bag. "She also told me today was your birthday."
Kenny blinked a few times then look to his feet with his brows furrowed. Muttering silently, he counted on his finger before his head shot up,
"Holy shit! Today's my birthday!" He exclaimed.
"Yeah! And I brought you a gift." Tweek's hands shook as he pulled out the brown paper Tweak Bro's bag with Kenny's gift.
Kenny's expression fell. He took a few steps back to sit on top of his grave.
"Tweek, I appreciate the thought, but I am not really..." he gestured down, "material enough for gifts anymore."
"This isn't material." Tweek set his bag aside then dropped down to his knees next to Kenny's grave. He patted the spot next to him.
With his eyebrows raised in curiosity, Kenny floated down, sitting cross-legged. If he had been alive, Tweek would have felt his body heat. Now he just felt cold.
"What'd ya get me?" Kenny asked.
Tweek unfolded the top of the bag. With an air of pride, he took out a thick magazine with a grey scale picture of a person with half their face covered by a purple crystal on the front.
"'The Free Artist'?" Kenny read the flowing script title. "Um, thanks. Fine art is really...cool."
"No, I mean, yeah, sometimes it is, but that's not what this is about." Tweek started to flip through the pages. "My dad got a subscription to this magazine so we could have it sitting around at Tweak Bros to make the place seem refined."
"Ok?" Kenny turned his head to the side.
"We keep this one issues at home because of this." Tweek turned the magazine towards Kenny.
Across the center page was a black and white photo of a woman, her leg bent forward, spine arched, and head thrown back. Her naked breasts pointed up as she held the only splash of color in the photo, a bright red apple, aloft.
"Wooow!" Kenny reached for the magazine only for his hands to phase through.
"I thought I could turn the pages while you looked. Almost the whole issue is dedicated to this photographer. It's full of pictures of naked people in different poses. I thought, knowing what I know about you, that you’d like it?"
He chewed his lip. A fancy-schmancy art magazine wasn’t the same as a naughty one, but Tweek couldn’t get his hands on any of those. This was the best he had, even if the photos were not meant to be sexual or erotic. 'A grand showing of the beauty of the human form' is what the photographer claimed in the short article, but Kenny didn't seem to care what the point of the art was.
“This is so cool, dude!” Kenny beamed. “You brought a whole magazine of elegant nudes, just for me? Finally, I can truly appreciate the human body like the true connoisseur I am, artfully and with highbrow intelligence.”
Chuckling that Kenny pronounced it ‘conn-o-sire’, Tweek flipped to the next page. This one had a man on his knees, bending forward so his shoulders nearly touched the floor. The color in this picture was a vase of flowers set by his hips.
Tweek thought he looked nice, for a grown-up, and suddenly his stomach twisted.
He quickly turned the page. The new two pages were a spread of different gender models.
Tweek hoped Kenny hadn't noticed. but by the look he gave him, Tweek knew he had.
"Everything alright?" Kenny asked.
With a sigh, Tweek shut the magazine and slumped in in himself.
"Can you keep a secret? One you can't ever tell anyone, not even other ghosts." Tweek didn't look up at him.
"There is no one around for me to tell, Tweek," Kenny pointed out. When Tweek didn't respond, he went on, "Ok, ok, I promise. I won't tell a soul your secret." A pause then,"In fact, I will tell you one of my secrets in exchange. How's about that?"
Tweek chewed the inside of his cheek before nodding.
"Alright, deal," Tweek replied. He took a breath, held it, then let it out slowly. "My secret is I...I, um...I don't like girls."
Kenny blinked once. "Don't like girls? I always thought the girls and you got along well enou...Ooooooh." Kenny whistled a breath through the gap in his teeth. "You're gay, Tweek?"
Tweek flinched. He'd never described himself as that once, even if it was true. It was a strange unspoken vow he'd made with himself. If he never said it out loud then he wasn't. There was still a chance he was straight.
But there it was, hanging in the air between the boys.
"Yeah, I guess," Tweek finally whispered. "Please don't make fun of me. I can’t help it."
"Why the hell would I make fun of you? Being gay is fine by me." Kenny crossed his arms, looking up at the clouds. "It doesn't matter if you like dick or pussy...or both."
His mouth twitched and his face contorted for a second into an expression that Tweek couldn't read.
Even if Tweek could have understand it, he wouldn't have dwelled. A weight he hadn't realized was on his shoulders lifted and he felt so much better. His stomach settled and some of his background anxiety quieted.
"You don't think it's weird?" Tweek wanted to confirm.
"Nah, it ain't weird." Kenny leaned back against his headstone. "But now I want to know if your crushing on anyone in our class. If I was to date a guy, I'd date Token. Not bad looking and rich as hell. A perfect boyfriend." Kenny jokingly snapped his fingers for emphasis, making Tweek snicker.
"Yes, definitely Token!" Tweek agreed.
They spent the rest of their time just chatting like normal, but now Tweek felt more comfortable than ever.
The conversation started to wind down after Tweek explained his list of boys he had something of a crush on, or, at least, wouldn’t be against asking if he knew they’d like him back.
Currently, Jimmy held top spot, because if they dated, no one would dare make fun of them. Jimmy was much too popular and well-liked to be made fun of by anyone in the class. Everyone else would turn on that person in an instant. Then Token, for much the same reason, along with how much Tweek liked his profile. Then at a distant third, Craig since Tweek like how much he spoke his mind.
"You know," Tweek flipped the magazine page for Kenny to admire the next picture, this one a woman curled up on herself and staring at the camera with determination as a fat, green, frog sat idly on her knee, "you never told me your secret."
"It's not nearly as good as yours," Kenny told him as he read the article that accompanied the photo.
"I still want to know. It's only fair."
Kenny opened his mouth to speak when a new voice cut him off.
"See? I told you! That chubby fourth-y is here! I saw him when I was at the funeral."
Tweek felt his heart fall dead out of his chest and land in his lap as three sixth graders came strutting up. Tweek didn't know them well enough to pull their names out from his memory, but he did know they were bullies who loved to pick on younger kids.
"Whatcha doing here, fourth-y? Reading like a nerd?" The biggest one sneered at the magazine.
The skinniest one raised an eyebrow and stepped closer to get a better look at the open pages.
"Hey! She's naked!" He pointed. "It’s a pornmag! Fourth-y’s got a pornmag!"
Tweek scooped up the magazine and held it to his chest, eyes wide. Kenny glared at the sixth graders and told them to fuck off, even though they couldn’t hear him.
"It's not porn. It's tasteful." Tweek dug his nails into the flesh of his other wrist, trying not to shake.
"It has naked ladies. It's porn." The middle one declared, reaching for it with grabby hands. "Let us have it. Your fourth-y brain isn’t mature enough to handle boobs."
"N-no! Urk! It's not yours. Leave me alone!" Tweek felt his flight or fight response start to pour adrenaline into his system. He probably couldn't fight three sixth graders, but he was sure he could outrun them.
Before he could make his grand escape, the biggest one dove forward for the magazine.
Tweek stumbled back as the issue was ripped from him. His heel hit the base of a nearby gravestone then he toppled over it. Mud and dirty snow covered his back and soaked straight through his shirt.
When his breath returned and he could finally push himself up, he saw the sixth graders gawking over the magazine. The cover was torn and barely held together by an inch of glossy, crumpled paper.
Then he tilted his head up and saw Kenny behind them.
Kenny’s teeth ground together. His hands clenched into fists. His nostrils flared. A low growl came from his throat. Tweek had never seen Kenny this upset, even in life. If he was tangible, Tweek thought Kenny would rip the sixth graders’ hearts out.
Something that Tweek couldn’t understand tore from Kenny’s throat as he reached forward with his arms out in front of him, as if he was going to push the middle sixth grader. The moment his hands phased through his chest, the sixth grader bolted up straight.
His eyes were wide with terror.
His breath came out in a thick, shaking cloud, different from everyone else's, thicker and flecked with ice particles.
“Dude?” The biggest one asked, prodding his friend in the side.
His friend didn’t move, only whimpered, “I...I...I...”
Before the sixth graders could do anything more, a familiar voice boomed towards them.
“Hey! What are you kids doing over there?” Father Maxie shouted.
“Fuck! Run!” The skinny sixth-grader grabbed the middle one’s arm. The middle sixth-grader moved like a statue that had just come to life, stiffly and clumsily. After shoving the magazine into his jacket, the biggest one pushed the middle. All at once, the middle unfroze.
He sucked in a gasp as Father Maxie yelled again. It took a second for him to register where he was, but when he did, he darted faster than the rest out of the graveyard.
Tweek stared at Kenny with his mouth agape. Kenny looked down at his hands, brows furrowed and lips pressed together. He looked up at Tweek, confusion written across his face.
“I...guess that worked?” Kenny laughed nervously, shoving his hands in his parka pockets.
“What in the Great Heavens above is going on up here?” Father Maxie ran up with his lips set in a frown.
Tweek tried to sit up, only to bite back a yelp of pain. He pressed a hand to his lower back, whimpering.
Father Maxie instantly stooped down to look him over. He peeled the wet shirt away from Tweek’s chilled skin to reveal the starting of a bruise.
“Oh, dear!” Father Maxie shook his head. “Come along. Let’s get some ice on that and call your parents.”
As Tweek left, he looked over at Kenny, who waved at him with a faint smile on his transparent lips, and Tweek’s stomach did a now familiar twist.
Tweek held a CapriSuns, both cold and fruit punch-flavored, in each of his hands. One he had tilted towards his face to sip and the other he carefully pressed against his back.
One of the nuns that Tweek recognized from Sunday school fretted over him, asking him over and over if he was really ok, if he knew who those boys that hurt him were, and if there was anything she could do to make him feel better.
Tweek repeatedly answered yes, he was ok and, no, he did not know those boys’ names, just that they were sixth graders. For her last question, the first time she asked, he told her he would like another juice to drink, the second time he timidly asked, “Do you know if I’m going to be in--urk--trouble?”
The nun smiled softly and stroked his head. “No, I do not believe you will.”
Feeling a sense of mild relief, Tweek started to ask for another juice, when Father Maxie came into the sanctuary. With a nod to the nun, he dismissed her then took a seat next to Tweek on the pew.
He put a hand on Tweek’s shoulder. “Hello, my child, are you feeling better now?”
“I think so,” Tweek replied honestly.
“Good, good,” Father Maxie said. He paused a moment and look at Tweek in a way that made his anxiety spike. It was the same look Father Maxie wore when he was going to ask the congregation a tough question that would make all the adults turn their gazes away in shame.
“Tweek, I’ve seen you go to the graveyard to sit by yourself quite often lately,” Father Maxie continued. “Is everything alright, my child? Are you doing ok? I am always here if you need to talk. You know that The Lord has many, many great plans for you in your future, don’t you?”
He gave Tweek a look so sympathetic, it boarded on pity. Tweek didn’t like that. He didn’t need a priest of all people giving him pity for being a freak and a weirdo!
Tweek scooted away and fixed his gaze on the stain glass window over the pulpit.
“It’s quiet there, not like the coffee shop. I like things quiet to do my homework and think,” Tweek lied, somehow keeping his tone indifferent with only his usual quiver.
“Ah, I see.”
Tweek didn’t think Father Maxie saw anything, but Father Maxie let the conversation drop anyway and changed to asking Tweek about how school was and what they were teaching nowadays in fourth grade. Tweek replied with the bare minimum amount of words he could until his parents came to pick him up
Father Maxie took his parents aside to talk with them a moment, just out of Tweek’s earshot. Tweek could only assume Father Maxie knew the names of the sixth graders and was telling his parents so they could talk to their parents —- which would lead to Tweek having his head shoved in a urinal until the urinal cake went down his throat.
After thanking the priest and promising they would try to put a little more in the collection plate come Sunday--Tweek knew that was a lie--the Tweaks drove back home.
His mom heated up some leftover spaghetti from the night before and placed it and a big glass of milk in front of Tweek, patting between his shoulder blades. She pressed a kiss to his forehead.
“You’re my good boy, Tweek. I love you.” She whispered to him, before giving him a half hug around the shoulders. After that, his parents let him eat in silence. Maybe they were scared if they spoke too loudly, Tweek would vomit again.
As he ate, he thought about what happened with Kenny at the graveyard today. He didn’t know what ghostly powers Kenny used to fight back against the sixth graders, but that wasn’t important. What was important was that Kenny had used them for him. He cared about Tweek so much Kenny risked sixth graders to help him!
Ghost or not, Tweek thought Kenny was the coolest person ever.
Tweek swallowed the last fork full of noodles, then chugged the rest of his milk. Before he could ask to be excused, his dad leaned across the table and set a large, warm hand over Tweek’s.
“Tweek, son, can we have a word?” He asked as if Tweek had a choice but to stay put.
“Um, yeah, Dad?” Now Tweek started to nervously fidget with his fork.
“Father Maxie told us you’ve been spending a lot of time at the graveyard recently,” his dad started. “Why is that? Are you feeling alright? No one is bullying you at school? Are you happy, son?”
Tweek’s head spun with explanations he could give that would convince his parents to drop the topic, or at least make sure they didn’t stop him from going anymore. He wasn’t hurting anyone, so there was no reason for them to stop him, but still, the tone in his dad’s voice was cautious and strained, though Tweek didn’t know why.
“I’m fine. No one is bullying me. I’m actually really happy.” Tweek replied, but his parents didn’t look convinced. What could Tweek possibly say to pacify them without explaining everything?
Think, Tweek! Think!
Then Tweek had a terrible idea that he just knew would work.
“You told your parents what?!” Kenny doubled over, holding his stomach. He wiped away a tear that wasn’t there. “Ok, ok, ok, let me get this straight. You told your parents you’re gay, and you wanted to ask me out when I was alive, and now you come to my grave to pretend to talk to me because you regret missing your chance?”
Tweek blushed. “It worked, didn’t it? Ack! I said what I had to. Mom and Dad were worried about me.” While fiddling to fix his shirt buttons, Tweek went on, “Honestly, I’m glad I said it though, even if it was mostly a lie. It’s weird having my parents know I’m gay, but they took it well. I spend the rest of the evening listening to them make plans for a big Pride event at the shop when June rolls around.”
Tweek laughed at the memory, joining in with Kenny. His parents had all but forgotten about their own gay son as they starting trying to think of new Pride-themed items for the menu or how much banners and flags to hang outside the shop would cost.
The most acknowledgment Tweek got the rest of the evening was his dad giving him twenty dollars and saying he hoped Tweek would be confident enough to come out to the rest of the town soon--since that would be great for the business.
Tweek and Kenny finally sputtered out with Kenny shaking his head.
“You know Tweek, I’m flattered.” He gave a cheeky grin. “Flattered to be your first one that got away.” Kicking his legs out, Kenny nodded. “Actually, I think I’m regretful, too. If I knew you were this cool when I was alive, I don’t think I would have minded if you asked me on a date.”
Tweek snorted and rolled his eyes, but on the inside, his heart did a funny little skip. For a moment, he tried to chalk it up to his anxiety acting up, as it sometimes did, but he couldn't lie to himself for long.
In one fell swoop, Kenny had usurped Jimmy’s option at the top of Tweek’s list.
“Yeah...thank you.” Tweek pretended to flip through his history book. “Oh, um, my parents also said I’ll have to start going back to my therapist, too. This morning, at breakfast, Mom told me she scheduled me an appointment.”
“Oh?” Kenny titled his head. “I’m...sorry? Is a therapist like going to a normal doctor? I hated going to normal doctors.” His face twisted in disgust.
“No, this is a good thing!” Tweek smiled. “I liked my therapist. He was nice and helped a lot, but I guess he helped too much. Since after six sessions, my parents thought I had to be ‘cured’ and made me stop going.” A sigh and he went on, “So it’s good to go back, but that means I won’t be able to come here as often.”
Kenny frowned for a fraction of a second before his cheery disposition returned.
“That’s ok!” he told him. “If this doctor is helping you feel better, I would be a very bad friend to make you skip appointments to hang out with me.”
Tweek buried his reddening face in his book. “Kenny, you’re really cool.”
Kenny blinked at the unexpected compliment then looked away. Was he embarrassed? Hadn’t anyone ever told Kenny he was cool?
Tweek refused to believe that, but lowered his book and repeated himself, “You are really cool. Way cooler than any of those jack asses you hung around with.”
Kenny fingered the drawstrings of his parka then tugged them slightly, closing the hood tighter around his face.
“Thanks, dude,” he replied in a quiet voice, not quite looking at Tweek, but just over his shoulder. Tweek was glad for that. If Kenny had met his eyes, he might have died.
“You need to make some more friends who want to have you around and can appreciate you for you” is what his therapist told Tweek after the second session.
He suggested that Tweek join a sport or club, but Tweek didn’t feel like he could do that. Sports were a commitment and he had his job and chores to deal with. Clubs were too much pressure to deal with too! They had hierarchies where he would be at the very bottom!
When Tweek mentioned his fears to Kenny, Kenny tapped his lower lip with his finger for a moment, then suggested, “Print out a picture offline of something you really like, and tape it to your binder. Maybe someone else who likes it will try to talk to you.”
Tweek wasn't sure about that but decided to give it a try. He used a text document and made a collage of his favorite superhero, Sailor Moon, printed it, and put it in the plastic covering of his homework binder. While he walked in the halls, he made sure to have the binder facing out so other people could see it.
Unsurprisingly, Kenny’s idea worked.
At first, it was the girls who flocked around him. Some knew who Sailor Moon was, and some just thought she looked cool, but either way, Tweek happily accepted the invites to sit down with them and talk.
He even gathered the courage to ask some of them to come to watch some episodes using Tweak Bro’s wifi after school on days it was too rainy or cold to go see Kenny.
Then, about a week later, while Tweek was searching for one of his pencils in his messy locker, Craig tapped on his shoulder.
“Hey, Tweek.” He waved, then pointed to Tweek’s binder. “Do you like anime?”
Tweek looked down at the moon princess then nodded warily. Was Craig going to pick on him for it? Some sixth graders had teased him for liking a ‘weird, girly, Japanese cartoon’ before, luckily for Tweek, Bebe was there and politely told the sixth graders that Sailor Moon was the best and strongest hero ever, better than Superman even, and they should leave Tweek alone.
Of course, the sixth graders didn’t leave Tweek alone, but he still really appreciated that someone stuck up for him.
Craig hummed. “Just Sailor Moon? Or do you like others? Like Red Racer?”
This felt like a test.
“Um, I think so? I’ve only seen a few episodes, but I think it’s really cool! I like the tiny elephant sidekick,” Tweek replied honestly.
Craig regarded Tweek once more before he asked, “The new movie comes out on Saturday. Me and my friends are going to watch the newest season before we go. We’re starting after school tomorrow and having a sleepover on Friday. You can join us if you want.”
Tweek had never been so excited when he rushed to the graveyard to tell Kenny his news after school.
“You said yes, right?” Kenny bounced in shared excitement.
“Yeah! I mean, I need to ask my parents, but I don’t think they’ll say no.” Tweek chuckled to himself before spin round before falling back into the snow. He winced. His bruise had mostly healed, but the fall still hurt.
“So, I won’t see you until next week?” Kenny asked, poorly hiding the disappointment in his voice.
Tweek pushed himself up on his elbows. “I guess not. I’m sorry. Should I cancel one of the days?”
Shaking his head, Kenny declined, “No, don’t do that. Have fun and...” he flashed a wicked smile, “don’t puke lunch on Token’s expensive shoes or Jimmy’s crutches.”
Tweek wanted to tell Kenny that for the last month or so, he hadn’t felt sick around either Token or Jimmy since Kenny had taken over the top spots of his list.
Of course, he didn’t dare say a word of that.
Red Racer was a pretty good anime. Tweek liked the races and the cool mech transformations. The plot was a little confusing since he started three seasons in, but Craig and his friends were happy to explain the parts that confused Tweek as they lounged around the Tucker’s living room.
By Friday, Tweek more or less understood the plot, the character’s motivations, and was excited about the movie.
Clyde picked up a popcorn kernel from the bottom of the now empty bowl and threw it at Token’s head. It ricocheted off his temple and landed square on Craig’s pizza slice. Craig reached over and push Clyde clean off the couch and right onto Tweek.
Tweek gasped and struggled to sit up, but Clyde was like a heavy, limp doll on his chest. Finally, Jimmy grabbed Clyde’s arm and hauled him off.
“S-shit, dude!” Tweek gasped, hand to his chest. “I thought I was going to die!”
“Nice going, Clyde.” Token took the throw pillow from his side and pushed it down on Clyde’s head. “Trying to kill Tweek. Are you scared we’ll kick you out for him?”
“No!” Clyde shoved the pillow away. “I’m way cooler than Tweek.”
Craig snorted. “Uh-huh. Sure. ‘Cooler’. I don’t think you can beat Tweek’s ‘hangs out in a graveyard’ level of cool.”
Tweek flinched back. Craig knew about that?
“Oh yeah! I head the s-s-s-sixth graders talking about that during recess,” Jimmy said around a bite of pizza. “Why do you do that, Tweek?”
“I, um, I, u-uh...” Tweek’s brain spun for a lie.
All of the boys' eyes were on him now. None of them looked malicious, but how did Tweek know they weren’t hiding it? How did he know that they weren’t doing this Red Racer marathon just to get dirt on him?
He swallowed. He couldn’t tell the others everything he told his parents, but he could strip it down a little.
“Do you guys remember Kenny McCormick?”
Craig nodded solemnly. “Yeah. He was a nice guy, even if he hung out with assholes.”
“Well, his grave is in there, and I feel bad that he died when he was so young. Urk! I guess I also regret that I didn’t know him all that well before he got sick. Especially since I replaced him with his own friends. Going there and sitting near by his grave, I feel connected to what could have been, if we were friends, you know?” Tweek chewed his lip.
Would they believe that? Would they call him a weirdo and make him walk home?
Jimmy reached over and set a greasy hand on Tweek’s shoulder with a nod. “I think we all miss him. I’m sure, up in H-Hea-Heaven, Kenny appreciates you coming to visit.”
Even without speaking to each other, the rest of the boys shared Jimmy’s sentiment. Tweek let out a breath he didn’t realize he was holding when Token suddenly pointed at the TV.
“Hey! This is my favorite episode! This is the one with Purple Racer and the Power Stone! Everyone shut up!” He waved his hand at them all, leaning forward with his chin in his palm.
At that, the topic was dropped.
On Saturday evening, Tweek was on cloud nine as he headed towards the graveyard.
The movie was so good! He had to tell Kenny all about it. Kenny wouldn’t mind spoilers, would he? Even if he did, Kenny had to hear about everything that happened with Craig and his friends.
Token had actually invited Tweek over to play basketball at his house with him and Clyde on Wednesday! Jimmy even wanted to try out some jokes on Tweek before his next show.
Kenny would be so proud that Tweek was making other friends; he was certain he would be!
As he neared, the sound of sobbing came to his ears.
Kenny sat on his headstone, knees pulled up to his chest, as he cried into his hands.
“Kenny?” Tweek raised his hand before dropping it. “What’s wrong?”
Kenny’s head shot up. His lips quivered as he stared at Tweek for an uncomfortably long time.
“What’s the matter?” Tweek tried again. “Are you alright?”
“No! I’m not alright,” Kenny wailed, hiding his face in his hands again. “It’s not fair! God’s being mean to me again!”
“What?”
Kenny slowly lowered himself off the headstone, rubbing his eye with the heel of his palm even though he didn’t have any tears. “Tweek, do you remember a month or two ago, when you told me you were gay? I never told you my secret.”
Tweek had completely forgotten about that. Kenny said it wasn’t as good as Tweek’s secret, but whatever it was, it was important enough to make him cry.
“What’s your secret?”
Kenny shuffled side to side a moment before sighing. He gestured to his headstone. “Read it and tell me what’s wrong with it.”
Tweek furrowed his brow as he realized he’d never once read Kenny’s headstone in full. At most, he had only read Kenny’s name when he bonked his head against it. Every other time, Kenny either sat right in front of his stone or let his legs cover it.
Stooping down, Tweek ran his fingers along the carved letters as he read.
“‘Kenneth ‘Kenny’ McCormick, rest well sweet angel in the arms of God, Free of pain and sickness. March twenty-second to J...’” Tweek trailed off. He looked up at Kenny with a frown. “‘June eight.’ Kenny, why does it say you died in June? And the year is from nearly seven years ago!”
“You think you're a weirdo and a freak, Tweek? You’re as average as white bread compared to me.” Kenny laughed, dry and bitterly. “That’s my secret, Tweek: I can’t stay dead. I don’t know why or how to stop it. I’ve never stayed dead, not any of the tens of times I’ve died before.”
A new batch of sobs escaped his throat. “I thought for sure it would stick this time, Tweek. It hurt so much more to die than ever before. It felt different. I wanted it to be different. I didn’t want to come back.”
Tweek scrambled to his feet. “That’s impossible. If you died before, I know I would remember it.”
“No, you wouldn’t. No one does. That’s what makes it so hard.” Kenny sniffled. “I die, I come back, and everyone acts as if I just ran away or was kicked out or whatever. I fucking hate it! I’m just the poor, dirty kid who can’t stay dead. I’m the freak, Tweek. I’m the weirdo. You’re just a kid with a tic. A normal kid.”
“Kenny...” Tweek wasn’t sure what to say.
“I’m going to come back to life soon. I can feel it. I’m going to come back and...and—and you won’t remember all the time we have together,” Kenny cried. “I want you to remember. It’s not fair I’m going to lose you like this! Not when I just...” His sobs overtook anything else he had to say.
Tweek took a step forward when he noticed that Kenny’s feet had disappeared. His legs were already fading away when Tweek stomped his foot to gain Kenny’s attention.
“I won’t forget! I promise I won’t!” Tweek announced. “We’ll hang out at Tweak Bros and go play basketball with Token and sing silly German songs and everything! I swear I won’t forget!”
“I’d like that, but,” Kenny’s stomach disappeared as Kenny forced a smile, “yes, you will. Everyone does.”
“I won’t,” Tweek repeated, his voice shaking with his own sobs. “I can’t forget everything you’ve done to help me. I’ll remember, Kenny. I will.”
Now his shoulders were gone.
Kenny chuckled with a shake of the head. “I really hope you do.”
“I won’t let you really be the one that got away! I won’t!” Tweek exclaimed, his vision blurred, but by the time he took a shaking step forward, the ghost of Kenny McCormick was gone.
Kenny felt like shit. Normally he felt bad after coming back from the dead, all tired and cold with his limbs aching, but today was worse. Today he felt tired, cold, and achy along with a heavy dread that clung to his heart.
He didn’t want to get up. He didn’t want to go out and find his friends at the park or even pull the covers off of his living body. He wanted to stay and melt into the torn mattress and stop existing. The only reason he got up was when he heard a small gasp from the door and say Karen staring at him.
For a moment, he’d hoped that maybe she was surprised to see him alive and his curse was broken.
But instead the shock faded quickly from her eyes and she told Kenny it was time for breakfast.
His mom hugged him when he came into the living room. She squeezed him so tight, it hurt to breathe before placing a kiss on his forehead.
“Oh, Kenny, I love you so much. My precious, darlin’ little man.” His mom whispered into his hair. She still smelled like cigarettes and beer and the cheap perfume his dad bought for her on Mother’s Day every year.
Even in his bleak mindset, he had to admit he missed that smell.
“I, uh, I love you, too, Mom,” Kenny replied. It felt so strange to feel the vibration from his voice when he spoke.
“What are you doin’, woman?” His dad asked from the table. “Let the boy go. He ain’t dyin'.”
She reluctantly released him but patted Kenny’s head before standing up.
“Mommy, can I have a hug, too, please?” Karen asked, tugging at her shirt hem.
“Well, of course, you can, sweet pea.” Their mom stooped down to hug her and Kenny made a beeline for the table before he could be pulled into another hug.
His dad turned the page in his newspaper. “Sleep well, Kenny? You seemed sick yesterday. That cough and all.”
Could he have trouble breathing, if he didn’t have breath?
Kenny shrugged. Before he could answer, Kevin walked in. To Kenny’s surprise, he looked presentable, dressed up and cleaned. He even had his hair slicked back.
“The fuck you look so fancy for?” Kenny asked as Kevin slid into a chair.
Kevin looked at him, furrowing his brow, a moment, as if he were trying to figure out just what was wrong with his little brother, before shaking it off.
“It’s Sunday? Church? Did you cough your brains out last night, dingus?” Kevin rolled his eyes.
Karen picked up her faded plush doll and headed towards the table. “Kevin’s trying to get that pretty girl to hold hands with him, remember, Kenny? The one with the blond curls,” Karen held up her doll, nodding at the doll’s faded yellow hair, “who made Kevin blush last weekend?”
“I didn’t blush!” Kevin snapped, face red. “I ain’t dressed up for her either. I just...wanna look nice for church.” He didn’t look at Kenny or Karen as he said that. With a smile, their mom patted Kevin’s back
“Well, even if you ain't, I’m sure that girl will like you anyway,” Their mom told him as she set a plate of flat pancakes in front of him before moving to deliver the rest of the family breakfast.
“And if she don’t, just lay on that Old McCormick Charm,” their dad shut the newspaper. “Works on the ladies every time.” He patted their mom’s hip as she passed, and she giggled, kissing his temple.
Karen picked up her pancake with her fingers and began to pull it apart. “Is that how come I was able to make so many girl friends?”
Kenny smiled to himself, pleased that Tweek hadn’t been pulling his chain when he said Karen was happy. Actually, all his family seemed to be happy. His parents were getting along. Kevin was trying to get himself a girl. Karen had a bunch of friends.
Kenny hoped it would last now that he was back.
After their dad quickly ended the conversation about the Old McCormick Charm, the family ate breakfast, normal as Kenny could remember. He was gone for nearly half a year and no one remembered.
His stomach churned. Kenny pushed away his half-finished plate.
“Can I skip church today?” He asked, faking a cough into his fist. “I still feel a little bit sick.”
Admittedly, he didn’t want to go anywhere near the church. Months in that blasted graveyard, listening to the distant sermons or watching tear filled funerals were Father Maxie said the same words over and over to grieving families had worn him out on going to church for a while.
His mom reached over and touched his forehead. “Ya don’t feel hot, but since you were sick yesterday, I guess that’ll be alright. I’ll wrap up your plate. You can eat the rest later.”
Kenny nodded and pushed himself away from the table. After wishing Kevin good luck in getting his girl, Kenny lumbered back to his bed and flopped down. He curled into a ball and forced himself to sleep.
When he woke up, the house was quiet. Kenny looked around his room. His stuff had been moved around and there were several boxes labeled ‘clothes’ and ‘toys’ stacked in the corner. He knew he should probably get to unpacking those and setting his life back up, but Kenny suddenly felt claustrophobic and trapped in his house, in a room that hadn’t been his in months.
Throwing off the covers, Kenny shoved his shoes on his feet and hurried out the door to let his feet take him wherever they wanted to go.
After twenty minutes of wandering, Kenny found himself standing outside of Tweak Bro’s. His stomach churned. Should he go in and see if Tweek remembered him? Did he even want to know? Maybe he should put it off until school Monday and go find Stan, Kyle, and Cartman.
Kenny shook himself.
No. If he didn’t do this now, it would eat at him all day.
With a shaking hand, he reached out and gave the door a firm tug.
It was locked.
Of course, Tweak Bro’s wasn’t open on Sundays.
Shaking his head, Kenny sat on the bench out front. A cold wind bit his exposed face and Kenny nearly yelped. It had been so long since he had felt the physical cold like that.
Kenny readjusted his hood. He didn’t want to head home. He didn’t want to talk to his friends.
He didn’t know what he wanted, so he sat and brooded on the bench for half an hour.
Several people passed, each giving him that same look Kevin did, trying to figure out what was wrong with him and why he looked so out of place. Each time he noticed someone staring, Kenny flipped them off and glared. He didn’t particularly want to be reminded of his status as a freak.
Finally, Kenny forced himself to his feet. His legs were asleep with pins and needles. The sensation was just as annoying as he remembered.
Telling himself to go home, Kenny shoved his hands deep in his parka and began towards his house. As he stopped at the crosswalk, the sound of hurried footsteps came from behind him. He turned around, ready to side step out of the way, just as someone tackled him to his bottom.
“Kenny! Kenny, you’re alive!” Tweek sobbed into Kenny’s shoulder. He squeezed him tighter. “I went to your grave after church and you weren’t there anymore! I thought I might have--errr!--dreamed the whole thing!”
Kenny blinked before turning his head to look at Tweek’s shock of blond hair.
“You remember? You remember me being a ghost?” Kenny whispered, afraid that if he spoke too loudly, this blessed illusion would break into a million pieces.
Tweek pulled back but kept his hands on Kenny’s shoulders. “Yes! I remember! I promised I wouldn’t forget, and I didn’t!” He grinned at him, and Kenny’s heart skipped a beat. A feeling that made his head rush from the experience of it.
Tears blurred Kenny’s vision. He couldn’t believe this. Someone remembered! Someone he really cared about remembered.
Kenny didn’t care how this happened: if this was God making up for the curse or Tweek hitting his head against his headstone did it. It didn’t matter. He’d never felt so elated in his life.
Kenny wrapped his arms around Tweek and hugged him so tightly, he was surprised he didn’t hear the cracking of bones.
Tweek remembered! Tweek, this boy who came and sat with him day after day for months just because Kenny asked him to; this sweet, kind-hearted boy that let Kenny help with his homework and shared the latest gossip and checked on Karen and brought him a present on his birthday; this boy that Kenny had slowly but surely developed quite the crush on, he remembered.
“Thank you. Thank you. Thank you!” Kenny swallowed down the lump forming in his throat. “I don’t know how I can ever make it up to you, Tweek.”
“Well, you can not freak out when I, um, say what I have to say.” Tweek gently pushed Kenny away. He took a breath and continued, “Kenny, I have a confession. I promised God if I ever saw you alive again, I’d say this. I hope this won’t make anything weird. I, argh, I like you--like a lot, a lot. More than a friend.”
Kenny blinked. For a moment, he thought he was going to die from happiness after less than a day back.
“I like you, too--like a lot, a lot,” Kenny replied instantly, nearly stumbling over his words in his rush to say them.
Tweek’s face went beet red. He scrambled to his feet, wiping the dirt from his jeans, then held out his hand to Kenny. Kenny let himself be hauled up, but he wasn’t going to let go of Tweek’s hand.
No matter what happened, he wasn’t going to let himself be the one that got away ever again.