Chapter Text
The Empire State Guts Man was walking towards Washington. Dr. Wily realized that if one mad man can sit on a throne, then he should be able to rule the United States and legalize gay robot marriage.
Frank Reagan, Kermit the Frog, Garnet, and E-123 Omega watched in horror as Dr. Wily’s evil scheme sprung from nowhere. Frank regained his composure and ordered his recruits, “I need you three to stop that Guts Mech from leaving the city! That’s taxpayer money walking on concrete!”
“You can count on us, Commissioner!” Kermit said
“What will you be doing?” Omega inquired.
Frank looked at all three of them, “Calling in a favor.”
He left his office then heard glass shattering. He stopped to look back, but continued on his task. He knew they would handle the Empire State Guts Mech.
And indeed they were. Omega unleashed all of his weapons on the Mega Man boss, Garnet gripped one of the mech’s feet and pushed it back, and Kermit went Super Saiyan, deflecting the Guts Mech’s attacks from destroying anything from New York City.
Frank was driving to an old Fire Department that had been once ordered to be torn down, but three independent investigators had taken up shop before it could be destroyed, “Alright, Ghostbusters. I’m calling a favor.”
Kermit was punched into a taco stand by the Guts Mech and Garnet was kicked into Bertie the Bus who had been forgotten by the writer after putting in a Thomas the Tank Engine reference. Omega ran out of ammo and ran to a gun store to refill. Dr. Wily had no opposition, “Bwahahah! You fools! No one can stop me! Come Guts Man!” the Guts Mech stopped, “Not like that. Anyway, COME GUTS MAN! WE ARE GOING TO BE KING OF AMERICA!”
“Not if I can stop you!” Dr. Wily turned and so did the guts Mech. There they saw the Statue of Liberty, slowly approaching the Empire State Guts Mech. Inside Lady Liberty’s skull was Frank Reagan, controlling the only gift France ever gave the United States with an NES Advantage. Frank had no idea what video games were but he managed to figure it out after a quick google search.
“And now, Dr. Wily. I end this!”
Dr. Wily laughed in a French accent, “Go ahead! Liberty cannot defeat science!”
The Guts Mech threw a punch at the Statue of Liberty, but in a quick reversal, Guts Mech was thrown back into his original spot, temporarily dazing Wily and his lover.
“Now then!” Frank Reagan yelled like an anime protagonist as he ran from his cockpit while the statue jumped into the air with her arm raised. Frank ran and climbed to her hand until her grip reached the main office/pilot’s room of Guts Mech and he hopped inside. Following him were Omega, Garnet, and Kermit the Frog, “Alright, Dr. Wily. Ready to face justice?” Frank asked, cocking a shotgun that he pulled from his coat.
Kermit aimed both of his guns like a gangster, Omega aimed... himself, and Garnet summoned her gloves. Dr. Wily upon realizing his lover could not help him anymore pleaded for mercy by begging on the ground. He was placed under arrest.
“I can’t thank you three enough for your help. Not only did we stop Dr. Wily,” Frank Reagan thanked them for their valiant help.
“But we also found the cure for your family, YAY!” Kermit cheered, flailing his arms about.
Garnet raised a thumb while Omega was processing all the bullshit he had to deal with.
“When will they wake up?” Frank wondered.
“If my calculations are correct,” Omega began.
“They’re awake,” Garnet already used her future vision to see Jamie, Erin, and Danny walking into the dining room.
“What the hell is going on?” Danny’s default mood of angery flared up, “And who the hell poisoned us?”
“I mean, you two were poisoned. Someone hit me over the head with a bat,” Jamie rubbed his head from the bump.
“And I’m not afraid to do it again!” George Castanza declared before galloping away.
Frank, Garnet, Danny, Kermit, Erin, Jamie, and Omega looked out the window, “Should we run after him?”
“Ah forget that,” they all turned around and saw Henry with a Music Player Remote in his hand, “Let’s party!”
He pressed the button and a disco ball emerged from the ceiling and from his stereo sound system, the song Celebration by Kool and the Gang played. Almost immediately everyone began dancing to this song. It was a good time seeing Kermit and Frank doing cheesy disco moves. Everything had been solved and for a little bit, the day was saved. NYC was at peace.
And Henry dunked his grandson into a hoop where he stayed there while everyone else had fun. Jamie loled and stole his job. Erin dabbed.