Chapter Text
Chapter 21:
Later that same day, once the initial celebrations had been completed, Esther took the children out for a walk in the gardens leaving Charlotte some solitude to absorb the events of the day. The gentlemen had retied to somewhere in the house. Charlotte decided to spend some time enjoying the extensive library the Babington family had collected over the centuries. It was a rare pleasure to savour. It was one her favourite pastimes when she stayed with the Babingtons.
The library was a fine space in the house. It overlooked the grounds looking down onto a lake which was sat snugly among the trees that overlooked it. On the furthest corner, Charlotte could see Esther with the nanny and children playing carefree next to the lake. She took in a deep breath and pinched herself. To this young boy, she would now soon be responsible for his upbringing and wellbeing. To his young boy, she hoped she would deliver him a brother or sister. To this young boy, she would become his mother. She felt no doubts about it but was a little overwhelmed by it.
‘A penny for your thoughts Miss Heywood?’
She turned around and looking at her from the opposite side of the room near the door was Sidney. She smiled at him. He was so handsome she thought. He took her breath away. He created a feeling of such excitement in her that it made her blush. Her thoughts should remain private to her for the moment she agreed with herself.
‘I was just allowing myself a moment to let today seep in.’ – she said to him – ‘I think I am still a little in shock.’
He began to walk over to her. ‘Shocked? I suppose there is a lot of take in. You have not changed your mind?’ – he asked nervously.
‘No’ – she smiled at him again – ‘No not at all.’ She took a few steps over to him.
‘Good. Good. I am both glad and relieved to hear that.’ – they moved ever so much closer to each other – ‘You know Miss Heywood. We have a lot of time to catch up on.’
‘We do?’
‘Yes I believe we do.’ – Sidney had reached Charlotte. ‘I would like to think that we could pick up from where we left off if that were possible.’
‘You do?’ – Charlotte could not take her eyes off him – ‘And prey tell me. Where did we leave off as you put it?’
‘I would like to think from that day on the cliff walk. Where I made a fool of myself with my ridiculous talk of the weather and balls. Do you remember?’
‘Yes I do.’ – Charlotte giggled – ‘But I remember other things of that day too. Far nicer things.’
Sidney stood before her with her hands in his. ‘Oh? And what would those things be? – his eyes smiling as much as his mouth did.
‘Yes’ – she said removing her hands from his and placing them on his chest.
‘Charlotte’ – he whispered her name softly – ‘I love you.’ – his breathing became heavy.
Charlotte raised her head to meet his, their noses and foreheads touching. She replied – ‘I know.’
And with that Sidney’s arms went around her pulling her into him and he kissed her like a thirsty traveller at an oasis. He realised in haste that his need for her could be deemed inappropriate before their wedding night. He pulled back but Charlotte was in equal need of being near him as well. When they realised their passions for each other, they giggled together.
‘Charlotte. You must make me a promise that we marry no later than is necessary. I need to make you my Mrs. Parker as soon as possible. If not, I fear for your and my .... sanity shall we say!’
‘Yes my love.’ – just the words as Charlotte said them out loud made her almost cry with happiness.
Sidney stepped away and went to leave the library. Charlotte felt his absence almost immediately. As he reached the door, he paused. He then quickly closed the door of the library to give them privacy and walked back over to Charlotte with great intent. He put one arm around her and another through her hair and he kissed her with such heartfelt intention. When he broke from her, he then let her go. Charlotte was breathless after that kiss and she had to steady herself against a chair.
Before he finally left her alone in the library, Sidney turned to her and grinned – ‘That my Charlotte is just a taste of what our life together will be like.’
***
Charlotte returned to Willingden as scheduled. Sidney was to follow in a few days.
When her carriage pulled up outside her family home, her young siblings rushed to meet her.
Standing back where her parents who, with puzzled expressions, were greatly curious as how events had transpired after Mr. Sidney Parker had left them. She had not written to them so they were still completely in the dark.
It was her mother who spoke first – ‘So Charlotte is everything as it should be?’
‘As it should be?’ – she felt in the mood for toying with them a little longer – ‘Do you mean to ask if I am still the same person as when I left?’
‘Possibly?’ – her mother asked annoyingly getting little from her daughter. Her father stood with his mouth open with desperation – ‘Child will you tell us? Did Mr. Parker speak with you?’ – this time it was his turn.
‘Oh Mr. Parker. Yes. Yes we spoke a lot.’ – Charlotte again playing with them.
‘About?’ – they cried.
‘Oh this and that. A lot of things really.’
‘Charlotte!’ – her mother exclaimed.
‘And he asked for my hand in marriage and I accepted!’ – Charlotte finally declared.
Her parents ran over to her and put their arms around her.
‘We are ever so happy for you my child. We could not be prouder.’ – both parents said, her mother even shedding a tear with delight.
***
Sideny and his son joined her in due course. He took rooms in the village which was the appropriate thing to do. It would offend the rules of engagement for him to stay under the same roof as his intended. After a day or two, it became too cumbersome for him to be transporting himself and his young son over to the Heywood Estate so it was decided that the boy should stay with Charlotte by means of the two of them getting further acquainted. If she were to be his mother, Sidney felt that there was no sooner moment suitable than the present to begin.
When the three of them were together, one would be surprised to acknowledge that they had not yet been wed yet: they were already husband and wife in temperament and habits. Even Mr. Heywood commented to his wife on the differences in their relationship to the one Charlotte had had with Mr. Harlow. ‘Yes’ – Mrs. Heywood agreed – ‘These two are very much from the same mould. I can see now why Mr. Harlow did not last. Charlotte needed a man who already knew his own mind, not one who was in search of it. Mr. Parker is a far better match for her.’ Both parents were very much satisfied with the pairing.
On one afternoon very early in Sidney’s time in Willingden, they were out walking.
‘You know Sidney there is something that you have yet to do?’ – Charlotte said to him. Sidney was still very much in awe of his new wife to be and was always listening attentively to anything she said to him.
‘What would that be my love?’
‘Do you believe us to be thoroughly knowledgeable of each other yet? – she asked.
‘Well no. Probably not. But we have the rest of our lives to find out.’ – he replied.
‘Yes we do’ – she said smiling as she talked – ‘Or you could court me instead?’
He stopped briefly. – ‘Court? You wish me to court you despite us already having an agreement in place?’ – He loved it when Charlotte came up with new ideas.
‘Yes I do Mr. Parker. I expect you to court me. I expect you to flirt with me, to surprise me, to make me laugh and to seek me out.’ – she was the one now flirting with him.
‘Aha!’ – he replied – ‘That is duly noted.’
And no sooner had he finished his sentence then he stopped her in her tracks pulled her into an embrace so quickly that no one around them would be aware. When he let her go, they began walking again and when they had gathered themselves together again, Sidney whispered into her ear - ‘I will court you Charlotte so prepare yourself for more of the same.’
‘Your definition of love Sidney is not far off from what I’ve read in books.’
***
A date was set for their wedding day which respected the proper rules of mourning on Sidney’s part: not a day more, not a day less. Sidney had but one disagreement with his future mother in law on this though. He wanted the wedding service to be as early as possible in the morning. He was damned if he was going to wait any longer than was necessary.
However, Mrs. Heywood had to have a rare stern word with him on the matter.
‘Sir this is a busy household. If you believe that I can turn out an army of children, a husband, a bride and a wedding reception in one morning, there will be no wedding! Early afternoon will be the earliest it will be and that is final!’
Charlotte warned him to not push any further so his concession was the only route to take.
‘Son’ – Mr. Heywood said to him – ‘You must realise by now that the Heywood women are not to be trifled with when they have their minds fixed. You have made the right decision.’
Sidney found himself smiling so much that his features were forever changed. He walked like a man supported by air. If his friends and family were to see him now he believed they would find him unrecognisable.
Between the two of them, Charlotte and Sidney shared looks that they believed were secret just to them but were in fact noticeable to all. As the weeks progressed, even Mr. Heywood had to comment that the sooner the two of them were married the better.
***
Eventually Sidney left Willingden to organise their affairs in Sanditon.
It was agreed between them that they would take a house there after the wedding but they would reassess a permanent residence after that. He begged Charlotte to join him in Sanditon to which she agreed only if she could stay in Trafalgar House to respect the rules of decorum. Sidney wrote to Mary and all was agreed.
Charlotte’s carriage began the final part of its journey as it reached the cliff road into Sanditon. She lowered the window and could begin to smell the sea. She recalled her first time to Sanditon, in the carriage with Tom and Mary. Tom could not help but speak positively of Sanditon and how refreshing the sea air was. Despite all that had happened, as she took in that same sea air, Charlotte could not but agree with Tom. How she longed to the feel the freedom that Sanditon offered.
Her mind drifted away with pleasurable thoughts of seeing Sidney again shortly. He was due to meet her on arrival at Trafalgar House.
When Sidney wrote to his family about his engagement, all parties had written to her with congratulations. Georgiana in particular was very happy with the news. Since she had come of age, she was a contradiction of wanting to go out in the world on her own terms to holding back ever so slightly waiting for Sidney’s approval. It was proving to be a surprising adjustment. Now that Charlotte was to be the closest thing to a sister she would have, she wrote to say that she was looking forward to them making Sidney’s life even more full of ladies’ conversations and title tattle to torment him. Charlotte informed her that they would do no such thing.
As her mind took her to a very happy place of reverie, she was jostled out of it by the noise of her groomsmen calling her horses to a stop. ‘What was going on?’ – she wondered to herself. She stood up to look out and she saw her beloved there next to his horse on the side of the road. She got out of the carriage as he handed his horse over to one of the groomsmen.
‘Sidney!’ – she exclaimed with surprise – ‘What a lovely surprise!’ – her eyes looked adoringly at him. He beamed back at her.
‘I could not wait to see you especially in front of all the Parkers who are down in Trafalgar House. Forgive me but I wanted to have you all to myself first.’
He instructed the groomsmen to take the carriage and his horse to Trafalgar House and to pass on the message that they would walk to Sanditon on foot. After they had left, they were finally alone.
‘I have missed you my love’ – Sidney said kissing her hands.
‘I have missed you too.’ – Charlotte returned pausing to look at him - ‘Do you remember Sidney the last time you stopped my carriage on this road?’
‘For shame I do. It is in truth one of the reasons why I wanted to meet you here. To eradicate that memory once and for all.’
‘Yes. Yes I agree. For a moment that day I thought you had stopped the carriage having changed your mind.’
‘Please Charlotte. Let’s not speak of it. It is in the past.’
‘Let me finish Sidney.’ – Charlotte said jokingly rebuking him – ‘For that one small moment I did. But I know. I know what you did that time for your family, and as much as it hurt me at the time, I still believe it was the right thing to do.
‘But let me tell you this Mr. Sidney Parker. As much as I tried to forget you, to move on from you, I never could. You captured my heart that summer and you never left it. My heart is yours and remains yours till the end of our days. I just wanted to tell you that.’
Charlotte watched as Sidney bowed his head down and then raised it again with that beautiful smile of his that took her breath away.
‘I do not deserve you Charlotte.’
‘Well Mr. Parker that may be the case but it appears that you are now stuck with me.’
On their walk back to Sanditon, Sidney took her on a detour to the old Parker Homestead that the Parker siblings had grown up in. When their finances took a turn for the worst after the fire, they had agreed to sell the house and its lands to its tenants. The new owner wanted the house so as he could look after his ill wife and for her to enjoy the fresh sea air to replenish her constitution.
‘Why are you telling me this Sidney?’ – Charlotte enquired.
‘Well it would appear that the owner’s wife took a turn for the worst recently and succumbed to her illness. The house is now on the market and the owner would like a quick sale to return to London.’ – he informed her.
‘That is sad news indeed. It would be a shame to see the house be left unloved.’ – Charlotte said.
‘Yes my thoughts exactly. We had some very happy times as children in this house. I know for a fact that Mary was quite sorry to leave it to move into Trafalgar House.
‘Charlotte’ – he progressed – ‘Although we have agreed to leave here in Sanditon for the foreseeable future, I think we are both in agreement that the house on Heywood Terrace does not feel appropriate for starting our new life in.’
‘Yes quite. That same thought crossed my mind as well.’
‘So I have been thinking...’ – he paused to ascertain her reaction – ‘...I was thinking that we could possibly buy back the Parker Homestead and make it our own as our permanent home.’ – He waited for a response.
Charlotte took a small walk towards the house to catch a further glimpse of it. It was not altogether a bad idea. Mary had often spoken very fondly of raising her children in the house. It was a house built truly to be a home.
‘So you are proposing then that we make Sanditon our primary residence and make this our home? Sidney I am honestly surprised. I did not take you as the sentimental type.’
‘Well ... possibly that is your affect on me.’ – he replied happily – ‘It is true. For a long time, I ran away from Sanditon, from my family and its obligations. But I find now I want nothing but that. Our family. Our children. Yours and mine together. To be raised here in Sanditon.’ – he let the words settle with Charlotte for a moment – ‘What do you say Charlotte?’
She looked at him. She could see in his expression how much it meant to him and there was no way she could refuse him.
‘I say we should book a visit with the owner and have a discussion.’
***
The weeks turned into days until the wedding. There was such an air of excitement both in Sanditon and in Willingden.
All the ladies had arranged to meet in London to discuss and organise the bridal dresses for the occasion. It was a brave man who ventured into Bedford Place as they all stayed there under the same roof. Even Mrs. Heywood made the journey. And when she saw her daughter in her wedding dress, it brought a tear to her eye.
‘My child. I recall so vividly when you were a little girl. I caught you trying on my dresses. Do you remember? Now look at you. You have your own dresses now and call me biased but I believe you to be the most beautiful bride to behold.’
‘Oh Mama!’ – Charlotte cried as well.
Lady Susan met with them and introduced them to the best dressmakers in London. Charlotte had written to her not long after the engagement was agreed to tell her of our happy news. Susan wrote to say how happy she was. She had always believed that her story with Mr. Parker had never truly reached its conclusion.
One day they were out for a walk together in Hyde Park and conversation turned to the same topic.
‘This is, my dear friend, how it was meant to be. You and Mr. Parker. No matter how much I would have preferred things to have progressed with Mr. Harlow, he never really stood a chance did he?’ – Susan commented.
‘Possibly Susan but given how events at the time appeared differently, truly if Mr. Harlow had proposed, I would have accepted and even with Eliza Campion, sorry, Eliza Parker dying, I would still have kept my commitment to Mr. Harlow.’
‘Ah now Mrs. Campion. What do you think she would make of you now winning her husband and raising her son?’ – Susan asked.
‘I am sure she would be appreciative of the intention.’ – Charlotte said.
‘I fear she would not Charlotte. That was not in her temperament. I suspect that wherever she is, she is fuming at the thought. You were always her Achilles heel. The mention of your name in polite society would rattle her and she was nothing but pernicious. Now Charlotte, she may not be of this world anymore but I believe that you have finally won that race!’ – Susan matter of factly said.
***
The day of the wedding finally arrived. If Willingden thought that nothing would match the visit of the King to its parishes, it was mistaken. The wedding of one its most popular young ladies brought out so many well wishers from many districts. The crowd growing outside the church grew with each passing hour that morning. Lady Susan and the Earl of Wormwood, the elder Mr. Harlow even made an appearance as did a representative of the King.
Sidney spent his last few remaining days of widowhood with his family taking rooms in Willingden. They all remarked how very different this wedding was from his first to which his reply was this one was built on love and respect. He was not afraid to admit it but he felt like a truly happy man.
On the Heywood Estate, madness and disorganisation was the course of the morning as the household tried to get everyone dressed and ready onto the carriages to the church. While Mrs. Heywood oversaw getting the bride ready with the help of her other daughter, Alison. Mr Heywood was tasked with organising the rest of the children into the carriages before he was needed to walk his daughter down the aisle, something that he was not relishing.
When the moment arrived, Mr. Heywood held onto his daughter’s arm outside the church before proceeding.
‘Papa what is the matter?’
‘Oh Charlotte. You have no idea how happy you have made me. Not just today but for your entire life.’ – he said trying to maintain his dignity – ‘I could never hand you over to a man who I did not think worthy enough of you. It is evident that Mr. Parker truly cares for you and you for him. You are now going to move onto another stage in your life where you will have your own family to look after. I ....’ – he struggled to find the words – ‘...I could not have hoped for a better outcome for you.’
‘Oh Papa! Please you will make me cry.’
He sniffled a little before composing himself.
‘Charlotte if you do not want to go ahead with this, now is your opportunity to say so. I can organise a carriage to take you straight to Dover and you can board a boat to the continent. You just say so!’ – he said half-heartedly.
‘Papa!’ – Charlotte scolded him - ‘Walk me down this aisle before I call on Mama to do the job instead!’ – And with that he pressed a fatherly kiss on her hand and led her down the aisle to her future husband.
For Charlotte, the wedding passed like a dream. As she stood next to Sidney, she could sense him there but she could not look at him for fear of crying with happiness. On saying their vows, they both had to compose themselves to muddle through. To anyone who had born witness to their journey in getting to the altar, there was not a dry eye in the church.
On leaving the church, the applause from the gathering crowd outside was nothing but heartfelt. As the happy couple led the wedding party back to the Heywood Estate the wedding celebrations, there was such an air of contentment amongst everyone, it was remarked that this was one of those rare days when the sun beamed down nothing but good wishes and joy.
All their closest friends celebrated with them that day. Charlotte was particularly delighted that even Mr. Stringer could make it. He was now a rising star in the world of architecture, and at one point, Charlotte could hear him arguing with Mr. Tom Parker on the virtues on a pier for Sanditon following his recent visits to Brighton. Yes nothing had changed on that front and probably never would she thought to herself.
Esther left her husband’s side to seek a quiet word with Charlotte.
‘So Charlotte I assume you have had a conversation with your mother as to the particulars involved on a bride’s wedding night?’ – Esther being Esther pushing the boundaries of conversation as always.
‘Why Esther! I have grown up on a farm. I know how these things work.’ – Charlotte replied.
‘Ah but that is not the same as man and woman my dear friend. No indeed not! Don’t be all coy with me. I know you Charlotte. You will have wondered about this a lot I dare say!’
‘Esther truly you are incorrigible!’
‘I know! I know!’ – Esther said in agreement – ‘But Charlotte I suspect you have little to worry about. For if Sidney had the same schooling as Babington, I would hazard a guess that you will find Sidney a most generous lover.’
‘Esther!’
‘And what’s more Charlotte. They tell you that love-making is purely for the purpose of procreation. Well I suspect your mother has not told you this...but it is also immensely pleasurable!’
‘Esther!’ – Charlotte rebuked her again laughing.
As the day progressed, Sidney and Charlotte found themselves to be always slightly detached from each other as well wishers wanted to speak with them. They stole glances at each other with looks of love and desire. Eventually, Sidney was able to make his way over to his new wife –
‘Mrs. Parker. How does that sound?’ he asked of her.
‘It sounds and feels wonderful.’ – she replied.
He gave her one of those shy smiles of his – ‘Good. Good.’ – he said before he got called on again by another guest.
However, before he left her, he stood behind her and whispered into her ear – ‘Tonight when we retire, send your maid away. I want to undress you myself.’ - and walked away. Charlotte’s heart almost stopped with anticipation. How she wished they could leave early. And when they did finally get to leave, she did as she was instructed.
When Sidney came to join her for their first night as man and wife, he removed the clips from her hair to let it fall naturally around her shoulders. He began to unbutton her dress and when he got to the last button, he spoke to her with such desire in his voice –
‘This Charlotte is exactly how I have pictured you but now... now nothing can hold us back, it is time for us to make new memories’ – and with that he let the dress drop to the ground and he allowed their passions to become one.
‘Let no man undo what we start tonight’ – he whispered to her.