Archive of Our Own

Chapter Text

The call came in just before dawn broke on Yavin IV. Ryder Azadi's band was planning an assault on the imperial factories on Lothal and needed Ghost Crew's help. Preparations were made swiftly and in no time they were off. After a heated argument which she won, Hera was once again captaining her ship, as if she hadn't just given birth hours prior. She had been convinced to leave Jacen behind however.

Kanan reasoned that he was too young to be in his first firefight and she reluctantly agreed. So Jacen was left in the care of the medbay where they had also left Alexsandr, still sedated after his surgery. Zeb could spend little time feeling guilty however as he turned his attention to the mission at hand.

It turned out to be fairly simple in theory. Get in, sabotage the facility, get out. But life in the rebellion is ever unpredictable. And so, many hours later Ghost Crew found themselves returning to base having left Lothal completely liberated of Grand Admiral Thrawn's grasp. This had come at a price however. In executing his plan to rid his homeworld of the empire, Ezra had been taken from them.

The remaining crew were silent for the trip back, each lost in their shared grief. Every so often a glance or a half hearted smile was offered. But nothing was said. Nothing needed to be said. They were all thinking the same thought, Ezra.

Ezra? Alex couldn't be sure but he thought he could faintly hear the Jedi's voice calling his name before it faded and Alex was left with darkness. Or mostly darkness. He could make out pinpricks of light far above him and what he thought were banks of fog surrounding him but not encroaching.

Where was he? He reached back in his memory for the answer and found nothing. He had the sudden realization that he couldn't feel his physical body. It was as if his consciousness had become detached and was floating here in this void. The thought was enough to make Alex have a panic attack; but without lungs he found he didn't have to fight for air, without muscles he didn't have to consciously relax. He couldn't help but feel soothed.

A laugh suddenly rang out through the fog, "Don't get too comfortable! You're not staying here this time!"

Alexsandr's attention turned toward the direction of the voice. How had they heard him? He hadn't spoken. Perhaps communication here happened through thought, he reasoned. Projecting toward the voice as much as he could he asked, "And where is here exactly?"

The owner of the voice slowly moved through the fog, coming closer to Alexsandr. In a moment they were fully visible and if Alexsandr had had a mouth at that moment it would have dropped open. Standing before him was Chava the Wise. All four feet of her every detail, down to her five-foot long staff, was exactly as Alexsandr remembered.

"Oh Chava," relief flooded Alexsandr's consciousness as he fought to form thoughts, "Mother, tell me," he began slowly, "Have I died?"

That familiar laugh rang out again and Alexsandr could swear he felt his heart swell. "No my Warrior you are yet living," she replied, "With much more living to do." Relief again flooded Alexsandr as the wizened figure before him continued, "But I am also not this Chava you speak of."

This caught Alexsandr's attention and he immediately became indignant, "Then why do you wear her face? Who are you that you can take on the form of someone I care about just to manipulate me?!"

The one who was not Chava's eyes glowed briefly and when next they spoke it was with many voices, "Warrior be you but sound the Fool you do! We are the Ashla! We chose this form of one of our people dear to you so you might listen!"

"Listen to what exactly?" Even in his own thoughts Alexsandr sounded petulant, but he was being made to feel like a child so maybe that was appropriate.

"Child you are not," the Ashla continued as if reading his thoughts, "Though bound the two of you are. Warrior and Child, forever entwined. Fated to be as one, even as you are separated now.'

"And what of the Fool?" Alexsandr asked, "Are we now a Prophecy of Two?"

"Two shall become one," the Ashla intoned, "Separate beings sharing a life and with the two of you the Third shall dwell."

"How tidy," Alexsandr commented.

"The Child remains reluctant to take this path," the Ashla mused, "Only with a child can all with the Warrior be set to rights."

"Believe me I'm aware of his reluctance," Alexsandr lamented, "What more is there to be done?"

The figure began to disappear into the fog even as the reply drifted to Alexsandr, "The Child and the Warrior will be as one and the Fool will be with them both. A child will bring this unity."

As the Chava/Ashla figure's voice faded completely, thunder rumbled loudly and lightning streaked through the pinpricks of light in bright blue arcs. Alexsandr felt himself falling through space as the fog rolled around him, occasionally showing him visions. There was his grandmother rocking him to sleep as a young boy. There were his parents, how beautiful his mother looked. And there was his baby brother, a face Alexsandr hadn't seen in over thirty years.

He willed himself to move faster, to get as far from those memories as possible. In a moment they were replaced by images of his new family. There were Hera and Kanan. He saw Sabine briefly and Zeb. Then there was a small boy with bright turquoise eyes and dark green hair. Alexsandr felt inexplicably drawn to the child and was almost sad when the vision faded.

But it was quickly replaced by an image of the kit from his dreams, his and Garazeb's child. What did this mean? Were they not lost? Had they possibly not been born yet? Question after question bombarded Alexsandr as light began to filter through the images and fog. Before it was all overtaken by the light, a voice reached him and this time he was sure he knew who was calling him. As he awoke back in his body, safe in his bed in the medbay one thought remained crystal clear in his mind, Ezra.

Blinking in the bright light of the naked bulbs overhead, Alexsandr began to take in his surroundings and current situation. He was obviously in the med bay, presumably in the same room he'd been in these last few weeks. That was as far as his train of thought took him before he suddenly realized there was something obstructing his throat. Instantly he began to panic and reached with both hands to remove whatever the obstruction was. It was at this moment the door to his room opened.

"Whoah, whoah, whoah!" A voice cried from the foot of Alexsandr's bed. A moment later Whil's face came into view, as he took hold of both of Alex's hands and began to speak calmly, "Shhh, it's alright. You're safe. But I need you to relax, can you do that? Take a deep breath. Good that's good," he praised as Alex began to slowly calm down. "You were intubated for surgery to fix your leg and we've had you sedated. Bev thought it was best," Whil explained. The longer he talked the more Alexsandr relaxed.

"Do you think you can answer some questions for me?" Whil asked. "Blink once for yes, twice for no. Alexsandr blinked once. "Good, do you know where you are?" Blink. "Do you know who I am?" Blink. "Do you know who you are?" Blink. "Fantastic, are you in any pain right now?" Alexsandr paused briefly before blinking once. "Good! Ok well now that you're back in the land of the living let's see about getting you breathing on your own." Instead of blinking, this time Alexsandr nodded his head furiously in the affirmative causing Whil to laugh, "Alright first let's sit you up and then I'll go get what I need to unhook you."

A few minutes later Alexsandr was sitting up in the bed and Whil had returned with his supplies. "I'm going to turn off the ventilator now, alright?"Alexsandr raised a hand giving the medic a thumbs up as he pushed several buttons on a panel in the wall. Slowly the soft whir and sporadic beep of the equipment stopped and there was only silence. "Feeling alright? Like you're breathing on your own ok?" Alexsandr again gave the medic a thumbs up. "Good," Whil replied coming back to the bed and slipping on a pair of gloves before he began to unhook the apparatus from where it was fastened around the back of Alexsandr's head. He then gently grasped the tubing coming out of Alexsandr's mouth, saying, "I'm going to pull this out now alright? I need you to take a deep breath and then cough as I do, understand?"

Alexsandr nodded, inhaling deeply before coughing as the tube was pulled from his throat. He briefly thought he was going to vomit, but fought the urge and instead took in as much air as his lungs could hold, falling back against the pillows as he did so. His gaze drifted up to the medic and then past him as he whispered, "Garazeb."

Whil huffed a laugh, "Why am I not surprised? Some people come off nearly a week of sedation and want food or a shower. But not yo-" he stopped abruptly as the back of Alexsandr's hand smacked into his chest, one finger pointing across the room. Whil turned, his gaze following where Alexsandr pointed to the doorway and the Lasat standing awkwardly. "Oh," Whil breathed. He quickly gathered his equipment and moved to leave. As he came face to face with Zeb he straightened as much as possible and leveled what he hoped passed for an intimidating glare warning, "You be careful with him."

Zeb's trademark lopsided grin split his face as he assured the medic of just that before entering the room and closing the door. He crossed the room quickly and was about to wrap Alexsandr in a hug when a coughing fit overtook the man, causing him to curl in on himself. Zeb knelt down, taking Alexsandr by both shoulders and trying to get him to make eye contact, "C'mon love, easy does it. Lean back, that's it." As he reclined against the pillows Alexsandr tried to stifle the coughing but Zeb shook his head saying, "Yer just gonna hurt yerself doin' that. May as well get it out now."

So Alexsandr spent the next minute coughing until he could breathe easily. Once he felt he could speak he whispered, "Garazeb, where is-". He didn't get to finish his sentence however. He was abruptly interrupted by Kanan entering saying, "Zeb, I don't mean to intrude just wanted to make sure-," Kanan cut off abruptly seeing Alexsandr sitting up in bed awake. "Alex!" Turning away from the doorway, he called, "Alex is awake!"

Moments later Sabine and Hera appeared on either side of the Jedi, Sabine sliding past him to run into the room and embrace Alexsandr tightly. As their cheeks smashed together she mumbled, "Shab I was so worried about you!" Breaking the embrace abruptly she punched his shoulder crying, "What's wrong with you, making me worry like that?"

Alexsandr only smiled as he rubbed his shoulder and croaked, "I love you too 'Bine."

"Apology accepted," the young Mandalorian smirked. "Want something to drink," she asked, not waiting for an answer before she busied herself with pouring him a glass of water. He took it gratefully and gulped it so quickly he nearly choked.

"Gonna start coughing again if ya keep that up," Zeb laughed gently squeezing Alexsandr's shoulder. Alex tried not to notice how he leaned into the touch, how warm Zeb's hand felt and how safe it made him feel.

"How are you feeling Alex?" Hera asked quietly. Before he could answer a small mewling sound came from the sling across Hera's chest. She deftly wrapped one arm around the bulk, reaching inside with her other hand as she cooed softly, "Did you finally wake up? Huh? Did you have a good nap?"

Alexsandr blinked for several seconds before he understood what was happening. Somewhat awestruck he asked, "Is that?"

Hera grinned, looking from the bundle to Kanan and finally back to Alex asking, "Would you like to hold him?"

Alex nodded emphatically and motioned for Zeb to hand him a spare pillow that he placed in his lap before Hera handed the baby over to him. Nervous as he was, he found it rather natural to hold a baby. Still he used the pillow as added support just in case. Once they both were settled he got his first look at Hera and Kanan's son, or rather his second look. He immediately recognized the child from his vision. Bright hair and eyes, skin slightly tinged green. "Well hello there," he said breathlessly as he looked down at the infant before turning to the parents, "He is absolutely perfect. I'm so happy for you both." Cuddling the baby closer Alex asked, "What's his name?"

"Jacen" Kanan smiled, "Jacen Syndulla."

"Hi'ya Jacen," Alexsandr greeted him again, his voice taking on a much softer note than usual, "I'm so glad to finally meet you." Jacen appeared less than pleased at the meeting as he began to fuss.

"I can take him if you want," Hera offered but Alexsandr shook his head.

"It's my voice." Alexsandr guessed, "He's used to me sounding different."

"Probably not used to hearing ya baby-talk either," Zeb teased.

Alexsandr rolled his eyes but didn't respond. Instead he turned back to Jacen, speaking softly, "Ignore the big purple guy yeah? Yeah. We're just fine, aren't we? Of course we are." Suddenly Alexsandr had a thought. Turning back to Hera and Kanan he asked, "Would you mind if I tried out something I've been told worked wonders on me when I was his age?" Both parents nodded their consent. Alexsandr closed his eyes for a moment muttering, "Now let's see if I remember this right."

He slowly lifted a hand and began gently touching different points on Jacen's face, starting with his left cheek. From there he moved to his ear, down to his chin, then up his nose, to his right cheek, then his right ear, across his forehead, and back to the tip of his nose. As Alex traced his path Jacen's eyes remained locked on his hand, trying as hard as he could to follow. But soon enough his eyelids started to flutter and as they drifted shut Alexsandr ran his hand slowly over Jacen's face whispering, "Now I've plotted the stars of your face, you who are more precious than all the stars in space." He gently laid his hand on the infant's chest and as soon as he did Jacen grabbed one of his fingers and held it tightly, still fast asleep.

A hush had fallen over the group as they watched Alex. Suddenly becoming aware of this he looked around embarrassed. What he saw surprised him. Sabine stood with one hand pressed over her mouth as if trying not to squeal. Hera and Kanan were both smiling at him and Zeb looked shocked and oddly as if he was about to cry. Looking back down at Jacen sleeping in his lap Alex laughed softly, "I haven't thought about that rhyme in over thirty years. Used to put me right out when I was little. My Granna taught it to us. Me and my…". He trailed off without finishing the sentence. Looking up he changed the subject abruptly, "Would you like to take him now?" He asked Hera. She nodded gently picking Jacen up and putting him back in the sling before turning to Kanan, "I think we'll go back to the Ghost. See you later." Kanan nodded, kissing her cheek. She waved goodbye before exiting.

As soon as the door shut Sabine leaped at Alex whispering loudly, "You're the Kriffing baby whisperer! How did we not know that?!"

Alexsandr laughed uncomfortably, "In my defense, I didn't even know until a few minutes ago. I highly doubt it's a universal talent."

"Wha's 'at supposed to mean?" Zeb asked.

"It means," Alexsandr explained, "that baby is one of the few people in my life who have only known me as someone who can be trusted, as one of the good guys. I don't intend to betray that."

"Alex," Kanan started but the other man cut him off.

"I know, I'm being over dramatic," Alexsandr sighed before continuing, "I only mean I intend to do right by your son. As odd as the circumstances may be, we are family after all."

Kanan looked like he was going to say something then changed his mind. Instead he grinned and said, "You're already a great uncle, keep it up." Nodding at Sabine to indicate they should leave he started toward the door.

"Kanan wait!" Zeb called.

Whatever Zeb was about to say Kanan waved off saying, "You two need some time together. Everything else can wait." With that the Jedi and the Mandalorian took their leave.

Silence settled over the pair as both tried to think of something to say. Finally Zeb spoke, "Karabast Sasha! Watching you with Jacen I just...all I could think about was ours and how.." He seemed to deflate suddenly as he mumbled, " 'm sorry Sasha. For everything."

Reaching out he took Alexsandr's hand without making eye contact. Alexsandr twined their fingers together absently as he tried to come up with a response. But what was there to say? Too much it seemed. Silence again stretched out for minute upon minute. Alexandr found himself getting tired and began to doze off. Some time later he jerked awake suddenly, his gaze falling on the matching lengths of beads on both his and Zeb's wrists. As if on cue his time with the Ashla and his vision came flooding back to him. Sitting up in the bed he blurted a single word, "Ezra!"

Zeb jerked suddenly, startled out of some train of thought, and glanced around as if hoping to see the Jedi, "Karabast ya scared me! Yeah, was gonna wait to tell ya but…" Zeb trailed off, as Alexsandr finished his thought.

"He's gone," Alexsandr stated. Zeb's only response was a quick nod. "Where?" Alexsandr asked, meeting Zeb's confused look.

"What'd ya mean where?" Zeb asked. "He's... gone Sasha," he continued gently.

As understanding dawned on Alexsandr, he found himself shaking his head slowly, "No," he scoffed, "You can't mean...Garazeb be serious."

Zeb ran a hand down his face and moved closer to the bed, still speaking gently, "I am serious Alex." He quickly explained the mission on Lothal and what had happened with Thrawn and the Chimera. When he finished he was barely fighting back tears, "I shouldn't'a let him outta my sight. Knew he'd go off an' try some heroic nonsense." Zeb wrapped Alexsandr in a hug as he continued, " 'm sorry Sasha. I'm so sorry."

And Zeb did cry then. Great heaving sobs wracked his body as he leaned against Alexsandr. And Alexsandr held him. As Zeb cried himself out Alex held him, saying nothing, his mind furiously working to understand how Ezra could be gone when he'd seemingly just heard him calling Alexsandr's in that dream or vision, whichever it had been. Sitting up Zeb began wiping his face and trying to regain his composure. Glancing at Alexsandr awkwardly he mumbled, "Sorry 'bout that," but Alexsandr shook his head silencing him.

"You clearly needed that Garazeb," Alexsandr replied, "Never apologize for expressing your emotions." He gave Zeb's hand a gentle squeeze to emphasize his words.

Nodding Zeb asked, "What about you?"

Alexsandr laughed quietly, "I think it's best if we don't go to pieces together don't you?"

Zeb huffed, "Yeah guess yer right. You ok though?"

Alexsandr nodded silently before saying, "I think so? I'm not entirely sure how I feel." He shrugged his shoulders, continuing, "It could be that it just hasn't hit me yet. But more than anything right now I'm proud of Ezra."

Zeb smiled genuinely at that replying, "Yeah, me too." He stood quickly and stretched yawning, "I should get out of here, and get some sleep, got the night watch," he glowered.

Alexsandr smiled softly watching him stretch and move. Shaking his head to clear it, he coughed, "Yes, well I should probably try to rest too. Come by later when you're free?" When Zeb nodded he added, "And if Kanan isn't too busy, would you ask him to visit again?"

"Sure thing Sasha," Zeb replied, "Want him to bring the sprog?"

"Absolutely," Alex grinned.

Zeb laughed at his sudden excitement and then looked around awkwardly before leaning down and kissing Alex on the cheek. "See you soon, Sasha," he whispered against Alexsandr's skin, his warm breath sending shivers down the man's spine.

Alexsandr almost told him to stay but he held back. But he couldn't help calling out as Zeb reached the door, "Garazeb wait! I," he paused, took a deep breath and continued, "I'd like to talk at some point, later I mean. There's a lot that needs to be said, about us." He emphasized the last word, making his point obvious.

Zeb drew himself up to his full height and tilted his head, considering his words carefully, "Yeah, we can talk. After you're recovered," he added pointedly.

Alexsandr sighed and nodded, knowing it was likely the best response he was going to get. With a wave Zeb turned and walked out of the room closing the door behind him. In the silence Alexsandr suddenly realized how tired he actually was. He adjusted the pillows and pulled the blanket up across his chest before easily drifting off to sleep.

The dream that awaited Alex was the farthest thing he could have imagined, literally. As everything came into focus, he realized he was aboard Thrawn's ship, the Chimera. But it was much changed since Alexsandr had seen it last. Debris was scattered across the bridge, broken consoles, and chairs were strewn about. But what caught Alexsandr's attention was the giant many tentacled creatures, purrgil Zeb had called them, that were threading themselves through several windows and sections of the hull. And held fast in the grip of one of the purrgil was none other than Grand Admiral Thrawn.

Alex's first reaction was to run. Just the thought of the Grand Admiral made his blood run cold after the beating Thrawn had given him upon discovering his work for the rebellion as Fulcrum. But once again he realized he was separated from his physical body and therefore not experiencing the usual signs of a panic attack. This relaxed him. Perhaps he was unnoticeable in this state, he thought.

"Alexsei?!" A voice called Alexsandr's name from across the bridge.

Turning his attention toward the source he found a second purrgil twisted around one of the pylons supporting the ceiling. Wrapped in its tentacles was Ghost Crew's young Jedi comrade. "Ezra!" Alex cried, noting that he did have command of his voice in this realm. At the sight of the boy relief flooded through Alexsandr. If they'd been able to his knees would have given out beneath him. "You're alive! Thank the Ashla!" He breathed.

"Kriff it's good to see you!" Ezra laughed. "I honestly wasn't sure who I'd make contact with when I started trying, or if it would even work. But here you are!"

"Not in the way you hoped I'm afraid," Alexsandr replied, "My body is in the med bay asleep. I don't know how I can be of any help to you."

Ezra just smiled and tested how much he could strain against the tentacles holding him, "It's enough brother. Trust me. If I can reach you, I can get back to you."

"Ezra…," Alexsandr started unsure.

The Jedi fixed him with a stare, "I am coming back Alexsei. We need each other. We're-".

"Family," Alexsandr finished smiling. "Alright brother, alright. Any message for the rest of the family?"

Ezra shrugged as much as he was able, "Maybe tell 'em to keep an open mind? Kriff I didn't get through to you until you were practically in a coma!"

"I knew it was you calling me!" Alexsandr cried.

Ezra laughed, "Sure was. Can't wait to talk about your visit with the Ashla! Wasn't able to eavesdrop," he sighed dramatically.

"Oh I'll tell you all about it," he drawled sarcastically before laughing, "Karabast I'm just so thrilled you're alive!"

"Honestly so am I," Ezra admitted nodding at Thrawn. "Though if he had his way I wouldn't be."

"Is he?" Alexsandr asked, indicating the clearly unconscious Thrawn.

"Dead?" Ezra asked. "No, but close to it I think." He grimaced at the Chiss, "His energy field is thready, feels weak." Turning back to Alexsandr, Ezra's eyes had turned cold, "Good riddance."

A chill ran through Alexsandr, if such a thing were even possible in this state. He was suddenly doubly determined to see Ezra back safe where he belonged. "Get home soon, you hear me?" Alexsandr ordered.

Ezra nodded firmly, "Yes sir, Captain Orrelios!"

The edges of Alexsandr's vision started to blur and realizing he was waking up he asked quickly, "Ezra what are you talking about?"

As the bridge of the Chimera faded completely Ezra's laugh reached him, "Ask Zeb what that bracelet means!"

Blinking awake, Alexsandr shot straight up in the bed just as the door opened revealing Kanan and Zeb. Kanan grinned sheepishly, "We were trying not to wake you, sorry."

"Ya want us t' go?" Zeb asked.

Alexsandr shook his head quickly, blinking when the movement made him dizzy. When he had gathered his bearings he replied, "No, please stay." He motioned to the chairs on either side of the bed and each took a seat beside him.

"Zeb said you wanted to talk to me about something?" Kanan asked, and Alex couldn't be sure but the Jedi seemed on edge almost apprehensive.

Alexsandr nodded again, "I know how this is probably going to sound but I promise you I'm entirely serious." He waited for Kanan to nod before continuing, "He's alive. He's alive and he's trying to get back to us."

A beat of silence passed and Zeb asked, "Um who Lex?"

The grin on his face nearly split it in two as Alexsandr answered, "Ezra."

Kanan paused briefly before saying slowly, "Well, yeah Alex. Of course that's what we all want to think but-" before he could continue Alexsandr cut him off.

"I don't think! I'm telling you I know he's alive!" Alexsandr cried indignantly.

"Alright, hey easy Lex," Zeb soothed laying a hand on Alexsandr's wrist where the beads were wrapped, "Start from the beginnin' an' explain what ya mean."

Alexsandr glanced down at the beads and then back to Zeb as he tried to gain his composure. Taking a deep breath he began, "Well I assume it has something to do with you invoking the Ashla on my behalf." He caught Zeb's eye and held his gaze continuing, "I know what these beads signify Garazeb, and what sharing them with someone means." He paused, grinning slightly, "Tell me you didn't actually convince Ezra you'd proposed to me while I was unconscious though."

Zeb sputtered, "I did NOT! He knows I want to o' course but," he stopped suddenly noticing the smirk on Alexsandr's face, "I mean, ah Karabast!"

Here Kanan mercifully cut in asking, "Are you saying you had a vision and met the Asla?"

"Ashla," Zeb and Alex immediately corrected.

"Right, sorry," Kanan apologized, "So the Ashla spoke to you...while you were still sedated and told you Ezra is alive."

Alexsandr shook his head, waving one hand, "No, no! They merely admonished me for the way I'm handling Child care," he replied emphasizing the word as he looked pointedly at Zeb before continuing, "But I believe he was calling to me. Honestly I could barely make out what he was saying."

"So how do you know he's alive?" Kanan asked.

"Because he brought me to the Chimera when I was asleep just now," Alexsandr replied simply.

"Ok, I'm gettin' Bev to have a look a' you," said standing hurriedly but Alexsandr grabbed his hand quickly holding him back.

"Garazeb you know me better than any other soul in the galaxy," Alexsandr began, "Look me in the eye and tell me what I'm saying isn't true."

Zeb turned back toward Alexsandr slowly and looked him in the eye before sighing, "Yeah, yeah ok." Sitting heavily he asked, "But Sasha...how?"

This time Kanan answered, "Force projection."

Alexsandr tilted his head curiously, "Beg pardon?"

Kanan shrugged, "You were unconscious for both visions/dreams whatever they were right?" Alexsandr nodded and Kanan continued, "It's possible the force allowed you to project your, for lack of a better word, being, to a separate plane when you talked to the Ashla and then again to wherever Ezra is."

Alexsandr shook his head slightly, "I'd have to be force sensitive to be able to do something like that and I'm not-".

"If that is what happened," Kanan countered, interrupting him, "Then you absolutely are." Locking eyes with Alexsandr he asked, "Is that so impossible to believe?"

Alexsandr's breath caught in his throat as he answered, "My family has always had a rather...complicated relationship with Jedi."

Suddenly felt his chest tightening and realized he was having a panic attack. He found himself wishing he could leave his body behind like when he spoke to the Ashla. Sound started to become muffled in his ears and his vision blurred. Just as he felt himself losing consciousness his hand was gripped tightly. Alexsandr looked up to see Zeb's face swimming before him; his lips moved but Alexsandr couldn't make out the words.

He focused on Zeb's face, willing his body to relax. In another minute he found he was able to take a shallow breath, then another. Zeb smiled and nodded encouragingly. Soon Alexsandr's vision cleared and his hearing returned to normal. He sank back into the pillows still holding tight to Zeb's hand.

Kanan stood frozen half way between his seat and the door. Turning to Alexsandr he asked, "Are you alright or should I get someone?"

Alexsandr shook his head at the same time as Zeb nodded. He glared at the Lasat momentarily before answering, "Thank you, but I'm fine." He held up a hand to cut Zeb off saying, "I know, I know! Like Kriff I am."

"Well," Zeb muttered under his breath.

Alexsandr laughed quietly, "Alright fine is a bit of an overstatement, but that doesn't mean you need to go involving-" just then the door opened and Alexsandr cried, "Bev!"

"Hello all," she smiled softly, "Alex how are you feeling?"

He smiled back at her, "I'm doing well I think, very little pain."

"He just had a panic attack," Zeb offered, receiving another glare from Alexsandr.

"That was my fault," Kanan admitted ducking his head slightly. Turning to Alexsandr he continued, "I really am sorry. I didn't know."

Alexsandr waved him off, saying, "Precisely why you shouldn't apologize. But let's talk about all that later."

Kanan nodded his agreement then excused himself quickly, "I've got to get back to Hera and the baby but call if you need anything! See ya later Zeb."

When he had left Bev turned her attention to Alex, quickly taking his vitals and examining his leg, all while peppering him with questions, "No pain you said? Have you been dizzy, felt faint? Any headaches?"

Alexsandr shook his head saying, "Aside from that bit of anxiety earlier I feel fine."

Bev nodded and asked, "Did Whil check your feeling and movement in your leg?"

Again Alexsandr shook his head. "No worries," Bev replied, "We'll do it now." Taking something from her pocket she poked the middle of the bottom of Alexsandr's foot asking, "Feel that?"

Alexsandr giggled loudly before clapping a hand over his mouth, "That tickles!"

Bev smiled and moved on to several more spots along his foot winking at Zeb as Alexsandr squirmed, "Is that actually necessary or are you just trying to torture me?"

"Why not both," Bev grinned.

"Haha, very funny," Alexsandr deadpanned, "Anything else?"

"Just one more," Bev promised, "Try to move your foot for me."

"Did I not just now?" Alexsandr asked. Bev shook her head.

Alexsandr glanced at Zeb and then stared at his foot as if willing it to move. Nothing happened. As the seconds ticked by Alexsandr began to panic.

His mind immediately filled with thoughts of living life permanently disabled, oddly the first time he was considering himself as such. His thoughts raced as he considered whether Zeb would even want anything to do with him if Alexsandr suddenly had to be constantly cared for. He didn't even realize how hard he was gripping the blanket until Zeb took both of his hands in his.

"Hey," Zeb whispered softly, "Relax Sasha, it's ok."

Alexsandr shook his head, eyes filling with tears, "Garazeb what if I'm …"

Zeb reached up and brushed the tears from his cheek, "Don't change nothin'. I love ya Sasha." Zeb leaned in reaching up with his other hand to cup Alexsandr's face as he captured his lips in a kiss.

Alexsandr's lungs forgot how to function as he returned the kiss, deepening it, trying to put all of his love for Zeb into this one action. He was absently aware of a tingling sensation running down his right leg but ignored it. Suddenly a loud crack filled the room and Bev gasped. Breaking their kiss Alex and Zeb turned their attention to where Bev stared at Alexsandr's foot that had twisted sideways, toes curled. Zeb squinted at it a moment before uncovering Alexsandr's other foot that they discovered was in the same position.

Grinning cheekily Zeb turned back to Alex, "Yer welcome."

Alexsandr laughed but abruptly stopped as he registered the pain coursing through his ankle, "Karabast that hurts!" He grimaced. A moment later both feet had completely relaxed and this time both ankles cracked causing Alexsandr to cry out in pain. Wincing Alexsandr leaned up and threw a punch that glanced off Zeb's shoulder.

"What was that for?" Zeb asked confusedly.

"You were taking credit a minute ago," Alexsandr groused.

Bev coughed to regain their attention, "Boys? Are you finished?"

"Yes ma'am," they replied quietly.

"Good," she smirked. "I imagine the stiffness will work itself out once we get you back on your feet. I'm really pleased with your progress so far so I don't look for that to be too much longer."

Alexsandr breathed a sigh of relief and was about to thank the doctor when something else occurred to him, "Bev? I haven't had a chance to ask anyone else yet, do you know what caused the seizure I had?"

Bev briefly shared a look with Zeb, who nodded and took Alexsandr's hand as she answered, "Yes. It was due to you receiving an incorrect dosage of the medications you were on. That's partially why we kept you sedated so long. We wanted to give your body a chance to recover."

Alexsandr stiffened and returned the grip on Zeb's hand replying, "I see, but there's been no lasting damage?"

Bev shook her head, "None that we're aware of."

"And the dosages have been corrected?"

"Yes," Bev assured him, continuing before he could speak, "And the person responsible has been identified and dealt with."

"Dealt with?" Alexsandr asked, "That sounds like you had someone executed for a clerical error," he laughed. Looking at both Zeb and Bev's expressions, the severity of the situation hit him, "It wasn't an error then. They intended to cause me harm."

Bev nodded again before saying, "But you have my word you are completely safe. As is anyone else needing our care. Every precaution has been taken to make sure that nothing like the things you've been through happen again." And with that Bev left them to see to her other patients.

When she had left Alexsandr mused, "I'm almost convinced she did kill someone. What do you think? Zeb?"

Beside him Alexsandr could feel Zeb nearly vibrating as he growled, "If I ever get a hold of that piece of scum I swear I'll," he stopped when he felt Alexsandr's hands on his forearms trying to pull him closer.

"Garazeb it's alright," Alexsandr soothed, "I'm going to be fine."

Zeb surprised Alexsandr by surging forward to wrap him in a hug as tears soaked Alex's shirt. He could barely make out what Zeb was saying between sobs.

"I know yer alright," Zeb sniffed, "But if ya hadn't'a been I...Sasha I've lost too much. I can't lose you too."

Alexsandr leaned back and put a hand on either side of Zeb's face tilting it so they were looking at each other, "Now you listen to me Garazeb Orrelios. You cannot lose me. You hear me? It can't happen," pausing he took Zeb's hand in his so the beads of both their bracelets brushed against each other. "Warrior and Child. We are Ashla ordained. Fated to be as one."

Zeb cocked his head sideways, "Since when do you do poetry?"

Alexsandr laughed, "That was actually more of a direct quote, but I'm inclined to trust the source."

Zeb continued to look at him quizzically for a minute before sliding onto the bed next to him and asking, "So should we look into getting you some grub or do ya want to take a nap?"

"Why can't I have both?" Alexsandr grinned cheekily as he leaned up for a kiss.

"Sasha, you can have whatever you want," Zeb promised as they snuggled against each other.

Several hours later Zeb left but only after making sure Alexsandr at least attempted to eat. As they said their goodbyes there was a knock at the door and Whil entered. Zeb smiled at him as he passed, waving back at Alex and promising to be back soon.

When the door shut Whil smirked at Alex, "I heard Captain Orrelios made your toes curl earlier. Is it true?"

Alex grabbed a pillow, and briefly considered smothering himself from embarrassment but instead chucked it directly at the medic's face saying, "Shut up Whil."

Whil laughed, catching the pillow in midair, "What? I'm thrilled for you! Both your recovery and your public display of affection."

Alex ran a hand over his face grunting, "Noted. Regardless, shut up."

"Testy, testy," Whil chastised. "Is it because you're in pain?"

Alex shook his head, fingers still combing his facial hair, "No I'm actually quite comfortable. It's," he paused wondering how much he should say, "Well, it's Zeb."

Whil frowned, "But I thought things were going well between you two again?"

"They are," Alex agreed, "I just wonder for how long."

Whil nodded at the beads circling Alexsandr's wrist, "I'd say an engagement means quite a while."

Alexsandr laughed, shaking his head, "We aren't engaged, I assure you. Garazeb gave me these when he prayed to the Ashla on my behalf."

"So," Whil began slowly, "He invoked his gods and asked them to save your life? That sounds an awful lot like love to me." Turning to leave he smiled, "You two are good for each other. I hope you can let yourselves be happy together."

As Alex sat thinking to himself in the silence he mused aloud, "I'd probably end up regretting it because you're annoying, but I wish I could talk about this with you Ezra."

"Ezra…Ezra…," Kanan sat meditating repeating the name of his padawan, "C'mon kid...if you're out there answer me!" After a few more minutes he gave up. Standing up he brushed himself off and stalked back to the Ghost in frustration. As he entered the galley, he saw the one sight that could make him feel better in this moment, the love of his life feeding their son breakfast.

Hearing him stomp in Hera looked up saying, "No luck I take it."

Kanan shook his head, joining her at the table. Leaning over her shoulder, he smiled down at Jacen as the boy finished his bottle. Resting his head against hers, he sighed, "I can't shake the feeling that I'm doing something wrong, but I don't know what that something is."

Setting the empty bottle down Hera replied, "I know how badly you want to help Ezra but beating yourself up won't accomplish that. You are doing the best you can and Ezra would tell you the same thing."

"I wish he could," Kanan murmured.

"I know my love," Hera replied, passing their son over to him, "For now concentrate on your other son. He's missed you this morning"

"Have you?" Kanan asked Jacen, "Did you miss Daddy?"

The half Twi'lek grinned up at the Jedi as he chewed one chubby fist. His only response was to gurgle contentedly. Kanan smiled down at Jacen wishing more than ever that their family could be together. Letting his mind drift he thought, "Come back to us soon Ezra."

"Ezra...Ezra!...Ez-," Alexsandr jerked awake as the door to his room opened, the dream, (or was it a nightmare?) he'd been having, already fading.

Whil grinned at him, "What do you say about getting out of here?"

"Don't toy with me," Alexsandr warned, "Am I really sprung?" When Whil nodded Alexsandr leaned back in the bed, hands covering his face. "Thank the Ashla!" He breathed, dragging his hands down through his beard.

He'd been improving little by little the last few days, even getting used to being up and around on a cane, though this one was sturdier than his rescue cane and provided much-needed support. Alex was thrilled at the idea of leaving the medbay. He missed the busyness of Ghost Crew and just their closeness in general. Thinking of the crew made Alex think about Zeb and his thought process was clearly evident from his facial expression.

"Before you ask, I already called him," Whil replied to the question Alex hadn't even asked yet. "He'll be around in a few hours, which gives us plenty of time to get you ready."

"Ready?" Alex asked. "It's not going to take me hours to put on pants Whil."

The medic huffed, "Well I thought maybe you'd want to, I don't know, shower? Maybe take a pass with a toothbrush. Do something about," he gestured vaguely, "that."

"Did you just gesture at all of me?" Alex asked, faking being scandalized.

"Just your face," Whil quipped back.

"What's wrong with my face?" Alex asked.

Retrieving a mirror from the joined bathroom Whil handed it to Alexsandr. When he saw his reflection Alex said the only thing that came to mind, "Whoah." It seemed as though his hair had grown at least an inch probably more and was moving closer to being shoulder length at this point. As for his previously coiffed facial hair, it had become completely unruly, and Alexsandr started entertaining the thought of maintaining a full beard from this point forward. Looking back at Whil he grinned. "Looks as though I might be well suited to living as a Lasat," he joked.

Whil just shook his head, grinning, "To each their own I suppose. You are up for a shower and dental hygiene, though yeah?"

"Definitely," he agreed. Grabbing the cane from the side of the bed he stood slowly and made his way into the small bathroom.

"Handheld showerhead, if you're more comfortable with that; bars to support you should you need it; and a seat if you get tired," Whil listed off the accessibility tools present, folding down the seat in question as he did so. "Everything you need should be in the caddy on the wall. Holler if you need anything." Before exiting the bathroom he added, "And Captain? Take your time."

Alexsandr nodded and thanked the medic, pulling his shirt over his head and flinging it so it landed on the edge of the small sink. He was about to attempt removing his sleep pants while standing as he was used to, but thought better of it. After working them past his hips, he sat on the bench to remove them the rest of the way, mentally applauding himself for this one instance of not doing something the hard way. Finally he sat aside his cane to begin showering. Almost instantly he began to have difficulties.

He quickly realized he still wasn't strong enough to stand unsupported. But holding on to the bar left him down a hand. This led him to sitting down for the entirety of the shower, which he found quite agreeable. That is, until it came time to wash his lower half.

Washing his legs and feet was fairly easily accomplished leaning down and holding on to the bar for balance. But washing the rest required more careful thought. Firstly he rinsed himself and made sure the shower floor was free of soap before standing again.

"The last thing I need is to slip and break my leg again," Alex thought ruefully. Then standing carefully he used his free hand to apply soap to the washcloth, scrubbing where necessary and again rinsed thoroughly before sitting again. Leaning back against the shower wall he massaged the shampoo he'd left sitting on his hair into his scalp and even applied some to his beard. After rinsing both he again leaned into the shower wall, letting the steam and warmth wrap around him for a few minutes. Finally satisfied that he was clean, and feeling much more relaxed than he had in days, he turned off the water and stepped out of the shower.

Immediately Alexsandr was presented with another conundrum, drying himself. A stack of towels sat on the edge of the sink where he'd put his shirt. Now standing in the middle of the bathroom and quickly growing chilly, Alexsandr moved to reach for the towels. As he maneuvered, the tip of the cane moved into a puddle of water on the floor. Suddenly losing his balance and seconds away from hitting the floor Alexsandr yelled, "Karabast!"

Just as his cane flew out from under him and his legs started to give out Alexsandr felt himself being supported by a hand under each arm. Craning his head up Alexsandr saw Zeb's face grinning down at him. He took a deep breath and waited for the blood to stop rushing in his ears before attempting to speak. Even then, he barely managed to whisper, "Garazeb...you're early."

Zeb's grin widened as he replied, "Good thing too. What would ya do without me eh?"

"I shudder to think," Alexsandr sighed.

"Nah yer just cold," Zeb joked, "So what's the plan Lex?"

Alexsandr thought for a moment before answering, "Back to the bench I think."

"Right," and with no further warning Zeb lifted Alex off his feet, carried him across the room and deposited him on the shower seat.

"Thanks," Alexsandr mumbled distractedly.

"Sure thing," Zeb replied before adding, "Hey Sasha, catch," and throwing a towel at Alexsandr. He snagged it out of the air and began drying himself off as Zeb grabbed another and knelt down to dry off his legs and feet.

"Garazeb you don't have to," but Alex trailed off as Zeb looked up at him.

"If you don't want me to I won't," Zeb spoke evenly, "But I don't mind takin' care of ya Sasha. Not at all."

Alexsandr nodded silently and continued to dry off his back. When Zeb had finished drying Alex's legs he stood and grabbed another towel. This one he dropped over Alex's head as he began drying the man's hair. Alex's voice came out muffled as he asked, "Um Zeb? What are you doing?"

"Oh!" Zeb stopped suddenly and moved the towel to look at Alex directly, "Sorry, got carried away I guess." Cocking his head sideways his ears swiveled in amusement. "Hey Sasha? You ever notice yer hair is really fluffy?"

Alex rolled his eyes snatching the towel from the Lasat, "I'm aware, thank you."

"I like it," Zeb said softly, reaching out as if he was going to pet Alexsandr on the head, "My fur don't do that, too short I guess."

Alexsandr glared at him, and was fully prepared to threaten him if he moved any closer, but a shiver ran down his spine at that exact moment causing him to squirm and his flesh to pucker slightly. Zeb's hand stilled, coming to rest on Alex's shoulder where his fingers traced the small bumps. "Can't do that either," he breathed, sounding almost in awe.

"Garazeb," Alexsandr murmured, fighting to make his brain work his mouth, "I'm cold."

"Karabast," Zeb swore under his breath, "'course ya are. Hang on." Apparently Zeb meant this literally, as he proceeded to scoop Alexsandr up off the bench, while attempting to keep a towel in place around his hips. "Nobody look," Zeb cried reentering the room, "Naked rebel intelligence officer coming through!" He looked around the empty room and then back at Alex grinning, "Aw, no audience, sorry Lex."

Alex laughed out loud at that and almost lost his grip on Zeb's shoulder saying, "That's quite alright I assure you."

"If you say so," Zeb replied, depositing Alexsandr on the bed gently before moving around to the other side.

Suddenly something occurred to Alex, "Zeb, I don't think I have any-".

"Clothes?" Zeb finished for him producing a duffel bag from where it had sat on the floor. "Gotcha covered." Zeb brought the bag to him saying, "We didn't want you to have to worry about anything, Whil, me, the crew. So he called ahead. Sabine packed your bag." Zeb finished as he bent to pull out pants and a shirt.

"Leave it to 'Bine,"Alexsandr laughed seeing the clothes, his comfiest sleep pants and a tshirt sporting the logo of Zeb's favorite band.

"Love those guys," Zeb commented.

Alex nodded in agreement, "A bit old school but still great."

"Wha'd'ya mean? Zeb asked.

"Garazeb I used to listen to this group while I was at the Academy," Alexsandr replied.

"So?" Zeb asked.

"Love how old am I?" Alexsandr quizzed.

Zeb paused a beat, the realization dawning on him slowly, "Karabast, we're old! Well, you're older, but still, by the Ashla!"

Alex flung socks at him in retaliation for his comment and continued getting dressed. When he had finished, Zeb went to put the bathroom to rights and retrieve Alex's cane. Returning he handed the cane over and shouldered the duffel. As he did several papers fell out of the end pocket, all folded over together. Alex bent carefully and picked them up to examine them.

"What's 'at?" Zeb asked.

Alexsandr began to shake his head in response but stopped short as he looked over the scrawled handwriting that covered the pages. Looking up at Zeb he replied, "These are notes Ezra took when he was doing research…" Alex paused to swallow around the lump in his throat, "before I miscarried." Turning the pages so Zeb could see he continued, "He even appears to have written out a list of questions to ask the doctors."

Zeb began to tear up as he read down each page. Fighting a lump in his own throat he sniffed, "Aw, Ezra."

Some time later, when they had left the medbay and gone back to the Ghost Zeb asked, "So about what Kanan said the other day, all that force stuff," he waved one hand vaguely.

Alex sighed, "Whether or not I'm force sensitive isn't the question. It's very possible, probable even, that I am given my family history. But I can't use the force, even to help Ezra. I'm sorry Garazeb." He sat tensed waiting for the Lasat's reply.

"Been thinkin' the same thing," Zeb admitted.

"You have?" Alexsandr asked, ashamed of the relief building in his chest.

"Well, yeah," Zeb nodded, "After everything with yer family, losin' yer little brother. I get it Sasha."

"Are you angry with me for it?" Alex asked softly.

"Karabast!" Zeb cried causing Alexsandr to jump where he sat next to Zeb on the bunk. Glancing over apologetically Zeb continued more quietly, "I'm trying to say I understand Alex. I know why you feel like you can't do this and it's ok." He took the man's hand in his gently, lacing their fingers together and pushing their wrists together so the beads of their bracelets clacked gently.

"I have to do something though, don't I?" Alexsandr asked, tearing up and hating how small and pitiful his voice sounded.

"Ashla!" Zeb blurted suddenly.

"What's wrong?" Alexsandr asked, looking at him in concern.

"No," Zeb replied, shaking his head, "That's the answer, the Ashla."

Alexsandr paused for a moment, his eyes suddenly lit up, "You mean if I can make contact with the Ashla again they may be able to help me guide Ezra back?"

Zeb nodded enthusiastically, "You and Kanan can try together. He'll use the force, you use the Ashla."

Alex still didn't seem entirely convinced. "What if it doesn't work?" He asked.

Zeb smiled warmly, wrapping an arm around Alexsandr's waist and pulling him closer, "There you go asking questions again. Where'd you get that from anyhow?"

"A terrible influence, of that I assure you," Alex replied, nuzzling his face into the fur of Zeb's neck.

Zeb laughed loudly and swiftly deposited Alexsandr in his lap growling, "C'mere you."

This elicited a sharp cry from Alexsandr as he gripped his right leg and Zeb's shoulder tightly. "Garazeb," Alexsandr groaned, the rest of what he said lost as he whimpered into Zeb's fur.

"Karabast 'm so sorry luv. I'ma Kriffing-," he cut off suddenly realizing Alex had stopped breathing. "Hey now none 'a that," he coaxed gently, patting Alexsandr's side, "Breathe babe. I know it hurts, but deep breath." This got no response from Alexsandr aside from his other hand reaching up to grip Zeb's forearm. Fearing he would start to hyperventilate Zeb leaned his head away from Alexsandr's and yelled, "Hera, Kanan, need somebody's help in here!"

A few moments later the door opened to reveal Chopper, one arm raised as blue sparks danced back and forth across his appendage. Taking in the scene, the droid slowly lowered his arm, trilled something Zeb couldn't make out and sped off. "Thank Ashla for small mercies," Zeb thought.

He looked up again hearing footsteps, and saw Hera standing in the doorway. "What's wrong with him?" She asked, coming into the room and crossing to the bunk. Zeb shook his head but before he could answer she was kneeling and rubbing circles in Alexsandr's back asking softly, "What happened? Can you tell me what's wrong?"

Alexsandr still didn't speak, but he slowly began to relax, and Zeb felt him finally start breathing, his chest rising and falling against Zeb's own, air ruffling the fur of Zeb's neck slightly as he exhaled. Hera continued ministrations until Alexsandr had relaxed enough to sit up and look at them. He smiled blearily as he wiped at his face. "I'm terribly-," he started before Zeb cut him off.

"Ashla help me," Zeb warned, "if you say sorry right now. Say literally anything else, I'm beggin' ya. Handsome, intelligent, funny, any of those'll do."

"How about flattered," Alexsandr mumbled, his face turning even redder than it had been.

Zeb grinned, "I'll take it!"

Hera rolled her eyes at the pair before asking, "Now will someone tell me what happened here?"

Zeb scratched at one ear looking guilty and muttered, "Yeah that would be my fault, sorry."

"Oh so you get to apologize but I don't, is that it?" Alexsandr asked.

"When I hurt you I get to Kriffing feel bad about it," Zeb grumbled.

"Ok, start over," Hera directed so Alexsandr did. Explaining that they'd been talking and got a bit overly amorous. Zeb had lifted him and it hurt his leg.

Here Zeb interrupted, "You forgot the part where you cried and stopped breathin'." He looked like he wanted nothing more than for the floor to swallow him and it twisted at Alexsandr's heart.

"Yes," he sighed, "because I knew it would make you look like that." The miserable look on Zeb's face deepened. "Oh shab," Alexsandr muttered, "Garazeb, darling. It's alright." Zeb looked like he wanted to disagree but Alexsandr kept talking. "I know you didn't mean to hurt me. Neither of us were thinking particularly clearly." Here he winked at Zeb before continuing, "My leg isn't fully healed and even when it is I'll likely have to navigate a whole new normal. I'm going to need help with that."

"And you'll have it," Hera promised, placing a hand on Alexsandr's arm.

He smiled at her before turning back to Zeb, "What say you Garazeb?"

"Try and stop me," Zeb laughed gruffly.

Alexsandr kissed his cheek before saying, "Now that we've settled that, could I get the two of you to assist me?"

"Absolutely," Hera nodded.

"Wha'd'ya need?" Zeb asked.

"I think I'd like to lie down for a while," he answered before turning to Hera, "But I seem to have a Lasat under me."

Hera nodded knowingly, "He used to be underfoot all the time until you showed up."

"Har, har," Zeb deadpanned. "So how we doin' this Lex? Wanna shift backwards? Or ya think standin' would be better?"

"Standing I think," Alexsandr replied. "Hera," he asked, "could you get my cane?"

Shifting so his feet were on the floor, he took his cane firmly in hand and made ready to stand, only to have both Hera and Zeb stop him. Hera crossed to the other side of Zeb so she could take Alexsandr's free hand, and Zeb placed a hand on either of his hips saying, "In case you need a boost."

Before he stood Hera whispered loudly, "If you're going to fall pull us onto him."

Alex winked at her as Zeb grumbled, "Heard that. Ya buncha conspirators."

Alexsandr stood slowly, nodding to Zeb half way up to brace him. Then he was standing, though still experiencing some of the pain from before, as he took a few steps away from the bed. Hera slid an arm around his waist, still holding onto his free hand.

"Terrible idea Hera," Alexsandr gritted out through clenched teeth.

"I'm with Lex, Zeb agreed, "Lemme take over Hera." He stood quickly, stepping in and supporting Alexsandr as she had been.

"If you two really don't think I'm strong enough to-," a piercing cry interrupted the rest of her sentence. "The baby's awake," she sighed. She moved to leave, turning back at the door to say, "If you need anything I'm right down the hall."

"Now where were we?" Zeb asked as the door closed. "Oh right," he grinned, "I was gettin' you int'a bed."

Alexsandr rolled his eyes, but couldn't hide the blush creeping over his face. Coughing roughly, he started moving again. As they turned back toward the bed, Alexsandr's legs suddenly gave out. Thinking quickly, Zeb scooped an arm underneath him, and tossed the cane onto the desk.

Alexsandr blinked at him in stunned silence for a few seconds before laughing, "I'm always being swept off my feet around you."

Zeb laughed, "Ezra likes to call that my Lothcat-like reflexes. Don't know what it means, but sounds like an insult t' me." Alexsandr just grinned in response and adjusted his grip on Zeb's shoulders.

Turning to the bed, Zeb laid Alexsandr down as carefully as he could. Still the man grimaced as pain coursed up his leg and into his hip. When it had let up enough he asked, "Garazeb could you get me a few pain tabs?"

Zeb looked surprised, but did as he was asked. When Alexsandr had finished taking them Zeb commented, "I knew you had to be hurting pretty bad."

"How's that love," Alexsandr mumbled sleepily.

"You didn't have to be reminded not to call Hera Captain once," Zeb replied softly, brushing the hair out of Alexsandr's face as he nodded off. Zeb waited for a reply, but got nothing aside from a slight smile followed by snoring. Zeb pulled the blanket over his chest and left Alexsandr to rest.

A few days later, Alexsandr joined Kanan for his morning meditation. Discussing it beforehand, Kanan had agreed that Alexsandr attempting to communicate with the Ashla, while he reached out with the force, might help them make contact with Ezra more easily. But this proved not to be the case. When he meditated alone or communicated with the Ashla in his dreams, Alexsandr was immediately taken to that same fog filled plane. When he joined Kanan however, he couldn't make the connection.

This grew to be incredibly frustrating for both of them as they attempted for nearly a week with no results. Finally Kanan was fed up. During their now normal morning meditation he broke the silence yelling, "This isn't working! Forget it, we're not going to reach him this way."

Alexsandr opened his eyes and turned to face Kanan from his position on a large boulder. Grimacing, he apologized, "I'm sorry. Perhaps there's something I can do to improve my concentration."

Kanan huffed as he stood up and brushed himself off, "What you could do is try using the force," he mumbled something else Alexsandr couldn't catch.

"Beg pardon?" He asked, standing slowly.

Kanan glared at him, "I said your brother would have tried, no questions asked."

The air left Alexsandr's lungs momentarily, but he recovered quickly asking, "What exactly do you mean by that?"

Kanan sneered, "Oh don't act like you don't know what I'm talking about. Your brother...your baby brother who apparently got all of your family's force sensitivity."

Drawing himself up to his full height, he stepped closer to Kanan saying, "I'm afraid you're mistaken my friend. Again, I'm sorry we haven't been successful yet. But I am willing to keep trying. Tomorrow?"

He nodded and began to step away, only for Kanan to begin speaking again, "Oh I'm not mistaken. What was your mother's maiden name again? Kestis wasn't it?"

Alex wasn't even aware he'd raised his fist before it made contact with Kanan's face. The Jedi crumpled to the ground as Alexsandr looked on, the shock of the moment threatening to overtake him. Instead of comm'ing the others for assistance, he turned and made his way back to the Ghost all the while praying his legs held out. As he covered the short distance to the ship, he offered up a prayer, "Ashla forgive me." He just made it into the galley as his knees buckled beneath him, managing to pull himself onto the seat across from Hera before he hit the floor.

Before she had a chance to ask what was going on, Zeb was squatting down next to him checking him over for injuries fretting, "Karabast Sasha what happened to ya?" Alex weakly tried to push his hands away as he sank into the seat, forcing air into his lungs.

Just when he thought he could answer Zeb, Kanan's voice came from behind him, "You hit me?"

Alex fought the urge to sink as low as possible in the seat, and instead turned to look the Jedi in the eyes. Or rather eye, as one was already swollen shut. Blood also spattered the front of Kanan's shirt, apparently from a bloody nose. Alexsandr winced looking at him. Standing quickly, he leaned into Zeb until he was steady, then he turned toward Kanan.

"Alright, I'm ready," he told Kanan.

"Ready for what?" Kanan asked.

"For you to take your shot," Alexsandr replied, Zeb will even catch me if I fall. So come on."

"I will not!" Zeb cried.

"What do you mean you won't?" Alexsandr asked.

"I'm not gonna let him hit you at all!" Zeb replied.

"But he hit me first," Kanan returned.

"I don't care!" Zeb yelled.

"Alright! Alright, no one is hitting anyone!" Hera ordered. "There will be no bleeding on my ship, unless I say so. Now explain yourselves, quietly. Jacen's still-" once again, she was interrupted by a shrill cry. Rubbing the bridge of her nose she muttered, "Kark." Walking out of the galley she turned to address the group, "Behave yourselves while I'm gone." All three nodded in unison.

Turning back to Kanan, Alexsandr said, "You're still welcome to hit me as far as I'm concerned."

"Alex!" Zeb whispered loudly.

Kanan sighed, "I'm not going to hit a-".

Before he could finish his sentence Zeb gasped, "Kanan!"

"A friend," Kanan finished firmly, eyeing Zeb.

"A friend?" Alexsandr asked quietly.

Kanan nodded moving across the galley to embrace Alexsandr saying, "I am so sorry Alex. I shouldn't have said the things I did. And I absolutely do not blame you for anything."

Alex returned the embrace awkwardly before stepping back and looking at Kanan asking, "You're sure you don't want to hit me? Fair's fair after all."

Kanan grinned, "Nah, I don't need your boyfriend retaliating."

Zeb puffed out his chest grumbling, "That's right."

The three of them sat at the table and Zeb pressed close to Alex, nearly pulling him into his lap. "So what exactly happened out there?" He asked gruffly.

"And keep the details kid friendly," Hera warned, walking back into the galley with Jacen and sitting down next to Kanan.

Kanan nodded at Alexsandr to go ahead. Taking a deep breath Alexsandr began, "Well as you know we've not had any success reaching Ezra. In fact I don't seem to be able to meditate at all when we attempt it together. We've both been getting frustrated and it came to a head today. Specifically Kanan's," he finished with a smirk.

Kanan glowered momentarily before sighing, "Completely true and entirely my fault." He continued before Alex could disagree, "I was angry. And in my anger said things I shouldn't have. I never should have compared you to your brother. Or even brought up the fact that I knew who your mother was. I was trying to provoke you and it worked. Just not in the way I hoped," he finished, gently prodding his swollen face and wincing.

"I wasn't even aware I'd hit you," Alexsandr admitted. "I was already trying to hold it together after you mentioned Cal. Then you said my mother's name and-"

"Wait," Hera stopped him turning to Kanan and asking, "He's Cal Kestis' brother?"

Kanan nodded and she continued, "As in the boy you met at the Jedi temple...the boy who…" she trailed off hugging Jacen tighter before passing him to Kanan and looking at Alexsandr with tears in her eyes.

"Ok hold on," Zeb blurted, "Clearly you all have parts of the story others don't. So let's maybe start from the beginning. That ok with you Sasha?"

Alex released a deep breath and replied, "Garazeb it's been so long since I talked about this with anyone."

"And you absolutely don't have to do it now," Hera interjected, reaching out and taking his hand.

Alexsandr smiled and returned the gesture replying, "Actually, I think it might be good for me." Settling back against Zeb's side he began, "I grew up on the upper levels of Coruscant, not the crust, but high enough we saw a fair amount of daylight. My father was a businessman, not terribly well connected but he liked to act like it. My mother was educated but chose to stay home and raise us. There was just my brother and I; we were decently separated in age, something like six years I think. My grandmother lived with us as well."

Alexsandr paused briefly, his eyes becoming misty. "Apologies," he continued, "Granna died when I was around eight years old I believe; shortly after that my brother Cal started exhibiting force sensitivity. My father was outraged, insisting that having a Jedi in the family would tarnish his reputation. My parents fought about it constantly. Until one day I woke up and my mother and Cal were gone. Before I could ask where they went, I learned I was being shipped off to the imperial academy."

Silence hung heavily in the air of the galley when Alexsandr finished. The only sound was the soft coos and snores coming from Jacen who had fallen back asleep in Kanan's arms.

Looking down at his son, he spoke softly, "I don't think I'd even had my sixth birthday when I first met Cal. We were instant friends. He was so full of laughter and so talented, even being as young as he was. I would have been jealous if I hadn't been so proud to be his friend. I used to imagine us both being on the Jedi council together when we grew up, but then..." Kanan trailed off.

Zeb spoke into the silence, "Order 66." Alexsandr stiffened in Zeb's grasp. The pride and love he felt for his brother was slowly smothered by grief at his loss. No, he corrected himself, their loss. Clearly Kanan had lost a brother too.

Hera moved to embrace Kanan saying, "Cal and Master Tapal had been off world and word eventually reached the remaining Jedi scattered across the galaxy that he'd been killed."

It took Zeb a beat for Hera's words to sink in. "Tapal?" He asked abruptly, "As in Jaro Tapal?"

Kanan looked up nodding saying, "I'm sorry Zeb."

When Alexsandr turned to him confused, Zeb explained, "Lasat Jedi. One of the only ones I'd ever heard of." Alex moved closer to Zeb and tightened his grip on Zeb's hand, not having words to convey his sympathy.

Several minutes later Alexsandr finally broke the silence, "Thank you Kanan."

"For what?" The Jedi asked.

Alexsandr smiled sadly, "For telling me about my brother, for being his friend, and mine."

A short time later they all went their separate ways. Kanan and Hera took Jacen to their room. Zeb went to finish up some work. And Alex went to rest in the room Ezra had been staying in since Alexsandr had joined Ghost Crew. He'd been hesitant at first, but he still couldn't sleep two to a bed while his leg was healing, and he wouldn't allow Zeb to sleep on the floor on his behalf. So he reluctantly agreed to this solution for the time being.

Entering the room he sat down on the bed heavily. He suddenly felt as if he could sleep for the next several days. Emotional stress was always something he'd underestimated. Leaning his cane against the desk, he started to pull his legs up onto the bed, but stopped when he noticed the desk drawer opened slightly and something glinting in the light. Against his better judgment he opened the drawer to investigate.

What he found was some kind of metal object wrapped in a length of cloth. It was nearly as long as his forearm and cylindrical. He was about to put it back when he noticed a piece of paper fastened to the fabric with twine. The paper had a single word written on it, Alexsei. Had Ezra bought him something? He decided to investigate further and unwrapped the object.

What he saw left him speechless. Laying in his lap was what appeared to be the hilt of a lightsaber. But why had Ezra made him a saber? He wasn't aware that Alexsandr could possibly be force sensitive was he? Maybe Kanan had said something and he made it on a whim?

Too many questions filled Alexsandr's mind that he had no answers for. Shaking his head to clear it, he picked up the hilt and tilted it toward him as his finger started to depress the button on the side of the hilt. Thinking quickly, he tilted it away from him just as several feet of metal extended from the hilt. Pulling it closer Alexsandr realized what he was holding. Ezra had made him a cane.

Smiling, he collapsed it back to its original size, and placed it back in the drawer before laying down. As he drifted off to sleep he whispered, "Thank you Ezra."

Several hours later, Zeb was on his way to the fresher when he noticed Kanan standing in the hall listening to something. As he walked closer he realized Alex was crying out in his sleep. He moved to open the door, but stopped to ask, "Were ya just gonna stand there listenin' to him?"

Kanan ducked his head mumbling, "After today I wasn't sure if I would be helping or hurting."

Zeb nodded abruptly, and entered the room speaking softly, "Alex, hey Lex. Shhhhh it's ok." Zeb began slowly carding his fingers through Alexsandr's hair as he continued, "C'mon Sasha wake up for me. It's Zeb. It's your Zeb. Come on wake up."

Slowly Alex's crying quieted and he blinked awake. As soon as he recognized Zeb, he reached out to him almost hungrily. Zeb sat on the bed and pulled Alexsandr up against his chest, holding him close and whispering to him. Soon Alexsandr was again calm and on the verge of sleep. Seeing this, Kanan nodded at Zeb and left the two of them alone.

After a few more minutes Zeb moved to lay Alexsandr back in bed, but the man held on to him. "Garazeb," Alexsandr murmured, "Please don't leave."

"Alright Sasha, I'll stay," Zeb replied, sitting back down. Again Alexsandr resisted, saying, "Sleep with me."

"Will you be comfortable?" Zeb asked.

A small smile crept over Alexsandr's face as he replied, "No Zeb, sleep with me."

Understanding smacked into Zeb like blaster fire. "Alex I...Are you sure?"

Alex nodded, reaching up to pull Zeb down for a kiss whispering, "I've missed you so much Garazeb."

Zeb nodded, "I've missed you too Sasha. I...I'm sorry. I thought being apart was the right thing. But it wasn't. I'm sorry for hurting you."

Alex smiled up at Zeb saying, "I love you so much Garazeb."

"I love you too Sasha," Zeb replied.

Hours later the two of them laid wrapped up in each other's embrace. It had been some time since they'd been together like that, or like this Alexsandr mused, as Zeb dozed one cheek pressed against Alexsandr's stomach. He watched in amusement as Zeb's ears twitched in response to the dream he was having. Reaching down, he slowly started to run his fingers through the fur of Zeb's neck, across his shoulders and down his back. In no time Zeb was purring in his sleep, exactly the response Alexsandr had intended.

"Garazeb," Alexsandr whispered softly, "Garazeb wake up."

Zeb grumbled and buried his face in Alex's stomach. "Ya can't make me," he mumbled.

"I can't, but I bet Mon Mothma could," Alexsandr threatened adding, "You have guard duty again tonight."

Zeb leaned up and yawned, "Remind me to kill Hobbie."

"Yes dear," Alexsandr nodded, as Zeb stood to retrieve his clothes from the floor. "Shut off the light before you leave?"

"Nope," Zeb grinned even as he flipped the switch, "Sweet dreams Sasha."

As he often did now, Alexsandr dreamed of Ezra. Though he was never sure if they were dreams or visions anymore. Regardless, this was no different. He found himself aboard the Chimera once again, with the ship in a familiar state of dilapidation. The only difference, he seemed to be alone save for the purrgils; Ezra and Thrawn were nowhere to be found.

Suddenly there was a commotion to his left. Turning, he saw Thrawn and Ezra locked in physical combat. Before he could stop himself he cried out, "Ezra, run! This way!" Both Thrawn and Ezra looked in his direction. Had Thrawn actually heard him or was he just following Ezra? Regardless it was the moment Ezra needed to break away, and he ran towards Alexsandr just as Alex's vision began to fade.

Back aboard the Ghost, Alex jolted awake unsure of what had awoken him. He laid there in the dark a minute allowing his heart rate to slow. Out of the corner of his eye, he saw a figure rise from the floor. Fearing the worst he dove out of bed, grabbing Ezra's cane from the door and dashing to turn on the lights.

He stood, holding a blanket around himself with one hand, and brandishing the hilt of the cane at the figure who had slumped back to the floor. Finally getting a good look, Alexsandr collapsed in relief and pulled himself across the floor to embrace the young Jedi where he'd fallen. He pulled the boy into his lap hugging him tightly as he moved his now shaggy hair from his eyes.

"Told ya I'd come back to you," Ezra slurred before losing consciousness.

Finally coming to his senses, Alexsandr began to shout for the members of his crew, "Kanan! Garazeb! Hera! Sabine! Chopper! Everybody Kriffing get in here!"

Zeb got there first, having just come back from guard duty. He ran down the hall and burst into the room yelling, "What's wrong Sasha? Are you hurt? Wha-" he cut off mid word, taking in the sight in front of him. "By the Ashla," he murmured reverently.

Alexsandr grinned up at him, tears streaming down his face as he replied, "It's Ezra."