Chapter Text
Not even Hunk’s food helped settle the tension that surrounded Lance and Allura. And Keith, which Lance thought wasn’t obvious to everyone but the three of them and Shiro. Lance avoided looking at Allura, trying to wrap his mind around what happened not even ten minutes prior and too nervous to confront her. He tried to catch Keith’s gaze, which he avoided and turned his full attention towards Romelle, who was stuffing her mouth and worshiping the food.
Lance sighs. Keith’s earlier acknowledgement was just a fluke then. He couldn’t understand what went wrong between them but he couldn’t help but feel something— jealousy , his mind whispered—at the fact that the other boy devoted his full attention to Romelle.
Lance put his fork down, having lost his appetite.
He wondered if something was going on between them. Maybe they were closer than the others assumed? Wait, no. Shiro had basically told him that Keith was gay. But then again, maybe he was bi?
The sharp scrape of a chair pulled him out of his thoughts and silence filled the room as Allura excused herself, walking out without another word. Lance’s eyes went instinctively to Keith, who still ignored them, and then towards Shiro, who raised an eyebrow.
He waited a minute or so before standing up and wishing everyone goodnight. As he walked out the dining hall, he swore he could have felt a pair of eyes staring into the back of his head. Luckily, Allura hadn’t walked too far and he managed to catch up to her just as she was about to turn a corner. He grabbed her hand but dropped it not a second later.
“Can I talk to you?” At the look on her face, he added, “about us.”
She stared at him for what felt like hours before giving in with a sigh, leading him towards her room. Feeling unwelcome, he stayed standing, choosing to pace around the room while she sat on her bed, gaze turned down at her lap. In the end, he blurted out, “I don’t love you!”
Shit.
Allura’s head shot up and Lance slapped a hand over his mouth, turning away from her and staring at his feet.
Silence.
Slowly, he turned to face Allura, expecting anything but the unsurprised and slightly pitying look she currently had.
“I-i mean...I mean I do love you! But I don’t love you…I mean-”
Lance let out a frustrated noise and sat down next to Allura, taking her hands in his and looking straight into her eyes as he spoke. “I love you, but I’m not in love with you and it has nothing to do with you it’s all me and-”
“I know Lance, I’d be lying if I said that I didn’t notice that your feelings for me weren’t as strong as they used to be.”
More silence.
He backed up until his back hit the wall and slid down until he reached the floor, hands covering his face.
“I-” he swallowed.
“I’m sorry .” His voice cracked.
He heard Allura move but didn’t react until he felt a pair of warm hands on his wrist, pulling his own hands away from his face. His sight was filled with a pair of blue eyes, sympathy turning the usual bright colour into a softer shade.
“You want to talk about it? Friend to friend?”
Lance searched Allura’s face for anything other than the supportive look she was currently sporting.
“You sure?”
She nodded before tightening her hold on his wrists and pulling him off the floor, leading him to sit next to her on the bed. Damn alteans and their freaky strength.
Lance raised a shaky hand to push his hair back from his forehead. “Where do I even start?” It was meant to be a rhetorical question.
“How about your feelings for Keith?”
Lance stiffened and his brain shut down. Tears filled his eyes but he refused to let them fall. Sensing his panic, Allura hastily tried to explain herself. “It’s okay Lance. It’s okay. I always thought something was going on between you two. What you two have is indescribable and I could never try to compete with that. It’s okay for you to have feelings for him and, if I’m being completely honest, I still have feelings for Lotor-”
Although a part of him knew about her still-there feelings for Lotor, it didn’t stop it from still hurting a bit when she said that.
“-and it was unfair of me to take advantage of your feelings for me, whether they’re the same as they used to be or not.”
“You haven't taken advantage of me!” Lance yelled out before wilting again. “You didn’t take advantage of my feelings if anything I took advantage of yours. After everything you went through with Lotor, I should have been there for you, comforted you, and instead, I took advantage of the fact that you were heartbroken to ask you out on a date. Who does that? ”
Allura’s eyes softened and she held both of his hands.
“Lance, you are one of the most caring and selfless people I’ve ever met and I find it very hard to believe that you’d ever do anything to hurt the people you care about. You did not take advantage of me, if anything, you made everything a little easier to deal with. I knew I could rely on you for anything, and I knew you would be there for me. I think we were both lonely and confused and we mistook that comfort we felt for each other as something romantic. And lance, while I might not love you romantically, you are still one of the most precious people in my life and I love you like family.”
Lance tried to hold back, but it was in vain as he reached to hug Allura, resting his head on her shoulder, a couple of runaway tears seeping into her clothing.
“Thank you. I’m sorry about Lotor, if I could go back in time I’d do anything to stop him from hurting you. But just so you know, you’re also one of the most precious people in my life and I wouldn’t trade you for the world. I and the others love you like family.”
A light weight pressed against his shoulder, and if he felt his sleeve getting wet? Well, he just hugged her tighter and spoke comforting words. Because that’s what family did for each other. Allura ended up falling asleep shortly after, clearly from the exhaustion, she had been carrying around for who knows how long. Lance laid her down, taking off her shoes and draping a blanket over her before pressing a light kiss on her forehead and leaving.
Another weight had lifted off his shoulder, one Lance hadn't realised how heavy it was until it was gone. He was glad it went as well as it did, that there were no hard feelings between them and that there were no more miscommunications. Sure, they were both hurting for their own reasons, but he didn’t doubt that one day they will both be okay.
However, he still had one thing left to do.