Chapter Text
Kix, as expected, freaked out about Echo’s condition. He had forced Echo to stay in the medbay.
Luckily, the medic had given him a private room.
Sure, it was just big enough for the bunk, a chair, and the necessary medical supplies and walking space, but it was private.
Fives, deciding to give Echo space, sat on the chair.
He hoped Echo would bring up what had happened during the mission. To be honest, he didn’t know how to mention it. Even if he did, he was scared to death about it.
He would do it if he had to, but he hoped it wouldn’t come to that. Plus, he didn’t want to pressure Echo into talking.
That was the reason he wasn’t cuddled up with Echo.
Fives felt he was radiating with worry, and Echo would no doubt know why and feel pressured to explain before he was ready.
So Fives was sleeping in the uncomfortable chair.
****
Echo woke up to waves of pain. Not physical pain, emotional pain. The voices were back.
He should probably tell Fives about this. He had seemed worried about what he’d said during the mission.
That was so stupid of him, blabbing off like that.
Echo decided he would give Fives a chance to back out of it if he wanted.
He turned on his side to face Fives, who was sleeping, in full armor, on the chair in the little room.
Taking a deep breath, he sat up on the medbay bunk.
“Fives?”
Fives stirred a bit.
“Fives?” he asked again.
The other man opened his eyes. “Yeah, cyar’ika? What do you need?”
Echo felt a tear run down his cheek, followed by another. This was not good. “You’re probably gonna hate me for this but….” He started crying harder. This was not good.
****
Fives woke up to his name. He opened his eyes and saw Echo sitting on the bunk, leaning slightly against the pillow.
“Yeah, cyar’ika? What do you need?”
A tear ran down Echo’s face, and another.
He was really worried now.
In a hoarse voice, Echo spoke. “You’re probably gonna hate me for this, but-”
Why would he think that? Nothing would ever make him hate Echo.
Then Echo started sobbing. “I’m sorry.”
Fives stood up and moved to sit with Echo in the bunk, ignorant of his armor, and embraced him tightly. “It’s okay, Echo.”
“No, it’s not.”
Fives wiped tears off Echo’s face. “Shh, it’s okay. Do you want to talk about it?”
Echo nodded and hugged him closer. In between sobs, he said, “I have depression and I want to die.”
His heart stopped. All of a sudden, his thoughts hit him.
Echo couldn’t die. He wouldn’t let him die. Fives felt himself start crying, sobbing along with Echo.
He was never going to let Echo die.
Fives felt like trying to take all that sadness away, to make Echo stop hurting.
In between sobs, he said, “Please don’t leave me. I don’t think I could do it again.” He knew he couldn’t.
****
Echo didn’t really know what to expect when he told Fives about his depression, but breaking down wasn’t one of his possible scenarios.
Fives seemed almost in shock for a second before moving to sit next to him and bringing him into an embrace, still in full armor.
Why hadn’t he taken it off?
“It’s okay, Echo.”
It wasn’t okay. He wasn’t okay. There was no going back now. “No, it’s not.”
Fives reached over and wiped the tears off his face. “Shh, it’s okay. Do you want to talk about it?”
Yes. That was what had started this whole mess in the first place. He nodded.
Fives brought him closer. It was comforting, to some degree.
Despite crying, he managed to choke out, “I have depression and I want to die.”
That caught Fives off guard. He was frozen for a few seconds before breaking down sobbing. After a few moments, he said, “Please don’t leave me. I don’t think I could do it again.”
The pain in Fives’s voice, the pleading tone, it was overwhelming. He wanted it to go away. “Fives?”
“Yeah, cyar’ika?”
“Do you want to cuddle?”
Fives smiled. “Of course. Just let me take the armor off first.” Before getting up, he placed a light kiss on Echo’s forehead. “I want you to know that nothing would ever make me hate you, okay? If you need anything, please tell me. I don’t care what I’m doing, just let me know. If I’m not available, tell a Kix or Rex or anyone else. They won’t care either. Understand?”
He nodded. He wouldn’t hurt Fives, or at least he would try.
****
Being cuddled up against Echo was comforting. He hoped this would become a normal thing. He slept better when Echo was next to him. Even mode so now, as he could make sure Echo was still there. He could make sure he was okay.
Fives would only tell Kix, Rex, and General Skywalker. The medic should know for obvious reasons, and the two commanding officers should know to account for it in battle.
Otherwise, he would let Echo tell them in his own time.
****
Kix walked into Echo’s private medbay room the next morning to ding the two ARCs cuddled up together in the bunk.
Fives hadn’t slept well since the Citadel, and to see him sleeping peacefully was a relief.
He quickly checked on Echo, then went to check on his other patients.
****
Fives woke up in the medbay curled around Echo. The memories of last night’s conversation were still fresh in his mind. It was frightening, that he could lose Echo again, and not from the war.
He pulled Echo closer to him.
He decided that he would do everything in his power and more to help Echo.
****
General Skywalker came in later that day to offer to improve Echo’s prosthetic limbs. He wanted to refuse, but the general would end up working on them anyway, so Echo decided to agree. It would save both of them the struggle.
General Skywalker had acted like a kid while tinkering with Echo’s limbs. At least more kid-like than normal. He talked with Echo while he worked.
Other vode came to visit. Some he knew, some had joined in the past year. They were all excited to see him again, or to meet him. It was most likely Fives’s doing.
Seeing everyone else was great, but he always looked forward to cuddling with Fives each night.
****
After what felt like forever, Kix released him from the medbay.
Fives was there smiling the whole time. “Hey Echo, you wanna do a cuddle pile tonight with the boys? We could leave at any time if you wanted.”
“Sure.” They usually did cuddle likes after harder battles or campaigns, though they did do them for other reasons, that was rare. Still, a cuddle pile was a cuddle pile, and he wasn’t going to refuse.
****
The moment they entered the barracks, Echo was swarmed by excited vode.
Fives kept the men away from Echo until Echo had given the okay.
All the troopers hugged him.
Fives stood off to the side while Echo got all the attention. He was glad Echo was free and not holed up in the medbay.
Kix and Rex knew and were ready to help Echo if he needed it.
Echo smiled at him through the group of men.
He smiled back and gave Echo a thumbs up.
****
He and Fives were in the middle of a pile of clones.
The others had spent hours catching him up on everything that had happened in the last year.
The stories about General Skywalker and Fives were hilarious. They made him laugh. He couldn’t remember the last time he had actually laughed.
But it was really hard to hear the ones of some of the vode’s final moment, their last words. During those stories, Fives held him close.
The rest of them respected that but we’re still seated close to the duo.
Eventually, Rex decided they should get some sleep. Kix seconded that and the grumbling troopers collected the few blanket and pillows they had and laid them out on the floor.
When they were all settled, Fives whispered to him, “You all good?”
He nodded back. Of course, he wasn’t entirely fine, but he wouldn’t be any better off back in the medbay.
Echo fell asleep in Fives’s arms.
****
In Echo’s first mission since Anaxes, everything went to hell. Of course it had.
Fives sighed, but internally, he was panicking. Life absolutely hated him.
Toward the end of the encounter, he caught sight of a bolt hitting Echo’s shoulder. It wasn’t a direct hit, but made too much contact to be considered a glancing blow.
He opened a private comm channel with Kix. “Hey Kix, Echo’s got a light blast to the shoulder. Nothing bad, but should be checked on later. Keep an eye on him.”
Kix’s voice crackled through his helmet. “Affirmative.”
Fives shot three clankers then turned to look at Echo, who fired one of his blasters and ducked behind a building.
If you looked close enough, he was favoring his left arm. Subtle, but undoubtedly present.
****
It hurt. Of course it hurt. But other brothers had gone through much worse.
This was only a minor blow. He was just weak.
He couldn’t let it show. They already had limited medical supplies. None of that needed to be wasted on something so minor.
Echo turned and shot a droid before returning to cover.
Make sure you distribute weight evenly.
That hadn’t happened. He hoped no one noticed. If anyone had, they’d overreact about it later.
To anyone looking close enough, him shooting with his left pistol would be a dead giveaway.
Pain shot down his arm as he fired.
He found the most comfortable position possible without looking suspicious and held his arm there.
Turning to shoot another droid would mean having to move the arms, but he had to keep up the act. Then he’d have to find a way to avoid Kix.
****
Once back aboard the Resolute, Echo started toward the barracks, keeping as far away from any medics as he could without looking suspicious.
“Echo!”
….And that plan had failed. He looked toward Kix, who had that ‘disappointed medic’ look on his face. Standing next to him was Fives.
He walked over to the men. “Yeah?”
“Come with me. I’ll need to check on that shoulder before you make it any worse.”
Haar’chak.
He followed Kix into the private medbay room he’d been in before, Fives behind him.
When the door shut, he blurted out, “I promise it was an accident this time!” It was. This hadn’t been like his previous battle injuries. He hadn’t meant for this one to happen. Of course, it wasn’t unwelcome-
Echo mentally slapped himself. He had to change this.
“Okay Echo, that good, but I still need to look at it.”
“I don’t want to waste supplies. It’s not bad.”
Fives sighed from the other side of the room. “Echo, I swear, if you don’t let Kix treat you, I will give him full permission to sedate you. We have plenty of supplies.”
He sighed, knowing the sedation would be more supplies and let Kix work.
****
Fives woke up to another body climbing into the bunk with him. He moved to make room.
“Sorry I woke you up.”
“It’s fine, Echo.”
There was a moment of quiet before Echo spoke again. “I’m sorry I’m such a burden to you and everyone else.”
That was the exact opposite of the truth. “Echo, listen to me. You’re not a burden, you’re what lifts it. You make life so much easier. You will never be a burden, I promise you.” It was true. This was the man he loved, and nothing would ever make him a burden. He knew that depression was an endless cycle of hurt and comfort and he would gladly help Echo through that.
Fives saw Echo smile in the dim light. He was beautiful.
He leaned forward and kissed him.
When they pulled apart, he whispered, “I love you.”
“I love you too.”