Chapter Text
It's been weeks since Izuku first listened to the blonde’s song. He didn’t entirely get what the song was about, but what he did know was that it made him cry. Every other night he’d go back to hear the same words and the same keys and it would always end in muffled sobs. Never once did he let the red-eyed boy know he was there. Never once would he let Katsuki know that he heard, saw him at his most vulnerable.
Deep inside the viridescent boy felt a sense of pride. Knowing that he’s the only one that had ever heard his song, or even heard him sing. The blonde has always been a private and secluded person, despite his brash behaviour there are some things about the boy that you would never know unless you pried and pried. Even then depending on the person he’d only open up to a couple of people. Izuku’s heart skipped beats and his stomach did backflips knowing that he was one of those people, even if it was unintentional.
No matter how delighted Izuku was he couldn’t get the words that were sung under the moonlight out of his head. Who could the song be about? The only person the boom boy was even remotely close to was Kirishima, and even then their relationship wasn’t strong enough for Katsuki to write a whole song about. Then who?
Izuku was sadly brought out of his thoughts by the sound of the last bell ringing and his classmate’s question. “Deku? Are you okay? You seem to be spacing out more than usual.” Uraraka had a concerned expression sketched on her face which told Izuku that he might have been out of thought for way too long. “I’m fine, just thinking…”. Looking around the room he tried to catch a glimpse of red. “Where’s Kacchan? Did he leave already?”
Surprised by his question Uraraka pointed towards the classroom door. “He already left a little bit ago. Why? Do you need to talk to him?” Picking up his stuff and quickly shoving it into his favorite yellow backpack he made his way towards the door saying something like “Catch you later!” as he dashed down the hall. Before he could make it to the exit he bumped into something hard, firm.
“K-kacchan!” It was the very blond standing in front of him in all his glory. “Oi! Deku watch where the fuck you’re going! This is why you get hurt all the time cause you never pay attention to your surroundings. What kind of hero doesn’t pay attention to what’s right in front of him?!?” Despite the boy’s blasting words he could faintly catch the sound of concernment laced in his voice. Was he actually worried about me getting hurt? Or is he just worried about me getting hurt in general?
Without realizing that he had been staring at the blonde for more than a socially acceptable amount of time the other turned around and started trudging back to the dorms without another word. The sound of footsteps reminded him of what was happening. “W-wait!” Running on his much shorter legs he made his way to the older boy who surprisingly stopped walking and waited for him.
“T-tonight….umm can you come to my dorm?” Still panting from the running Izuku wondered if his brain was working properly from the shortage of air. What was he doing? Why would he invite the other to his dorm? What for? “Oi! I can hear you mumbling from here” Startling the nervous boy he turned his back again, making it apparent of a light flush on his cheeks. Was he blushing?
“I’ll be there at 8. You better be awake by then or I’ll blast the door open” This pulled a soft giggle from the shorter boy which also accidentally let something slip. “Don’t worry Kacchan, not all of us are in bed by 8 and asleep by 8:30”. Before even realizing what he was saying the words fell out of his mouth and made him flush a deep cherry red out of embarrassment or maybe fear.
“W-whatever. Cya then.” Leaving without turning back Izuku watched the other boy make his way to the dorms. Leaving him with multiple questions, multiple thoughts and delightfully surprised.
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By the time it was 7:30 the green bean boy was freaking out. He had no idea what had come over him inviting his childhood friend over to his room. After plenty of thinking he had a plan. A plan that might either prove all of his theories correct or it might earn him an explosion in the face. Either way tonight, if things ended well, it’ll end in something other than exasperated sobs.
A knock at the door brought him out of his never ending thoughts and reminded him that this was his last chance. He could open the door and pray to whatever deity out there that this would end well or he could sneak out the balcony and hope something would cushion his fall on the way down. Taking one lasting breath he decided on the former and opened the last barrier between the two boys.
Katsuki had no idea why the nerd wanted to speak to him, but he showed up anyway. Knowing that it was the least he could do after everything. The late nights had been helping him cope, but they would never truly help his yearning heart. None of it mattered though because tonight he’ll do the one thing he should have done years ago. He’s going to let go. Let go of Izuku so that the other boy can grow and bloom without a thorn in his side. They’ll go their separate ways and maybe just maybe it’ll give Katsuki the time he needs to learn. To learn how to love like the boy in front of him.
“Kacchan you came. Well of course you came, Kacchan never says something and doesn’t follow through.” Shifting from foot to foot, painfully obvious how nervous he was, he moved out of the door way. “Come in, sit on the bed…” Turning his face away choosing to look at the floor, Katsuki walked in and did as the younger boy said. For the first time in years.
“Look nerd, I have something to say-” Before he could finish his sentence the greenette pulled out a small ukulele from behind him. Was he holding that before? He couldn’t focus on anything except the wide smile and opened eyes. “Before you say anything at all just listen to what I have to say first.” Taking a seat on the chair by the desk he turned his face toward the blonde and took a deep breath before pulling the strings of the small guitar and the heartstrings of the boy in front of him.
I have a question
It might seem strange
How are your lungs?
Are they in pain?
Izuku could see his face morph from calm to confused and it was expected. Izuku was staking everything on this single song, on this single moment. After this nothing would be the same between them and hopefully it would be for the better.
'Cause mine are aching
Think I know why
I kinda like it though
You wanna try?
He wasn’t much of a singer, but people said that his voice was soft and was almost angelic the rare times he did. After listening to the other’s song he thought it would only be appropriate to return a favor.
Oh would you be
So kind
As to fall in love with me, you see
I'm trying
I know you know that I like you
But that's not enough
Deep down he knew that what he felt was love. Ever since he heard Katsuki’s song all those nights before the realization and awareness of it just grew stronger with each passing night he returned to the common room to listen. He hoped that the song he sang was about him, that the tears he spilled were for him. He begged that this wasn’t all just wishful thinking on his part.
So if you will
Please fall in love
I think it's only fair
There's gotta be some butterflies somewhere
Wanna share?
His stomach was twisting now. Turning in on itself full of fear and a little bit of excitement. Wishing those lingering glances in class, those short conversations shared during training, and those scarlet eyes filled with longing, all meant something.
'Cause I like you
But that's not enough
So if you will
Please fall in love with me
With the last final words he stopped playing and kept staring at the ground. Waiting. Waiting for him to say something, to do something, to do anything. At this point even an explosion would be acceptable. After what felt like hours Izuku finally looked at the blonde and felt his heart come to a complete stop. The other boy was flushed a deep carmine red with faint tears in the corner of his eyes.
“w-why…?” His voice was soft. Almost too afraid to speak out loud. Izuku has never seen the other like this. Then again he’s never heard him sing before, so he’s learning a lot. Puting the ukulele down he reached for the other’s hands, which flinched at first but finally gave in. “I… I saw you at night. On the piano. Your song it’s… it’s really beautiful...” The blonde’s eyes opened and he looked about ready to dash out of the room, but Izuku gripped his hands stronger too afraid to let go and too afraid that the other would leave.
“It’s also sad. Your song is so sad. It always makes me cry at the end. It’s about me isn’t it?” Waiting for a response, but moving along accepting the silence as a yes. “Why? Why do you think you’re… bad? You’re not bad Kacchan. You’re just-”
“Just What?” Pulling his hands awake and getting up from the bed he looked at the younger boy with threatening tears beginning to break through his facade. “Just what, Deku? What the fuck am I? All I ever did was hurt you. All I ever did was push you away. I hit you. I yelled at you. I made you feel like you were fucking nothing. I did that for almost 5 shitty years. So tell me Deku, what am I? How could I possibly be anything, but bad?” Shaking with a hand gripping at his own shirt he finally quieted down, but it didn’t silence the words that still stood in the air.
“What are you? You’re Katsuki. You’re the boy I would always follow around when we were little. The boy that no matter what would always stay brave and move forward. The boy that wasn’t afraid of anything that might come his way. The one that would make me feel safe at night while we slept in the same bed” Izuku had long gotten up from his seat and was making his way towards the hurting blonde in front of him, but all he did was scoff. “Don’t be a fucking idiot Deku. I’m not the same little shit anymore.”
“You’re right” was said with a small laugh at the blonde’s choice of words. “You’re not that kid anymore. You’re right. You became meaner. You did hurt me. You did make me feel like nothing” He could see the pain in his eyes. Everything in Katsuki was telling him to leave, to finally let him go and never turn back, but Izuku soon put his hands around his cheeks. Gripping onto them, not hard enough to hurt, but enough to show that he wanted him to stay. “But you also changed. Look at you. You have real friends now. Friends that you treat with respect. Before you would have treated everyone like they were beneath you, but now you listen, you follow, you don’t let your pride get the better of you. If anything you’ve gone soft now”
A soft giggle escaped his lips. One that Katsuki engraved in his mind as if it would be the last one he’ll ever hear. “You’ve grown Katsuki. You’re strong. Strong enough to accept help when you need it. Strong enough to know when you’re wrong. Strong enough to acknowledge and accept your own weaknesses.” The tears had now over flowed and fell onto his soft cheeks that Izuku softly caressed. “You’re not bad. You’re anything, but bad.” Smiling at the other he pulled him down and brought their faces closer.
“You said you’d do anything right by me... that you’d learn how to love. Then let me teach you.” Pushing their lips together felt like a dam had finally broken. They kissed like it was the end of times. Like if they pulled away the other would disappear. To anyone it would look like a simple peck, but to them it was the start of something entirely new. Something that not only terrified them to their core, but sowed excitement deep in their bones. They pulled each other closer, never wanting to let go. Until something called the need for oxygen told them it was time.
Katsuki’s hands now held the other’s cheeks too. Both gripping onto each other, fitting like two missing puzzle pieces finally reunited. If you had told him months ago that he would be right here, holding the one thing his heart only ever longed for in his arms, he’d blow you up and yell bullshit. Not because he couldn't believe it, but because he knew he didn’t deserve it. He didn’t deserve the boy in his arms. He didn’t deserve the kiss or the love sick smile that glared at him. He didn’t deserve any of it.
“It doesn't matter though.” Realizing that he said everything out loud, he gazed into the familiar green eyes. “It doesn’t matter because I want you here. I want to teach you how to love, so that one day. You’ll fall in love with me too.” His eyes were filled with so much emotion that Katsuki didn’t know what else to do, but kiss the boy silly. He kissed his nose, his forehead, his eyes and every small freckle that littered his face. Earning a soft laugh with each press of lips against skin.
“Okay. I’ll stay, so that one day I can love like you.”