Chapter Text
Time added Twilight, Wild, Legend, Hyrule, Warriors, Wind, Four, and Sky to Untitled Group.
TIME
Hello Boys.
TIME
I Have An Announcement To Make.
Time changed his name to Father Time.
FATHER TIME
You Are All Invited To The Shower In One Week’s Time. Invitations Are Incoming. Do Not Be Late.
Legend added Hyrule, Four, Wind, and Wild to Shower Crashers.
Legend: we needed to start planning a fortnight ago. this is big.
Hyrule: Are we really going to prank Time at his unborn child’s shower of all places? That doesn’t seem like the best idea…
Legend: killjoy.
Legend removed Hyrule from Shower Crashers.
Legend: anyone else?
Wild: >:)
Legend: what the fuck is that? why are you like this?
Twilight added Warriors, Sky, Wild, and Hyrule to Shower Planners.
Twilight: I need you four to help make sure this shower goes smoothly. This is big.
Wild: you can count on me, Twi ;)
Hyrule: …
Warriors: Could someone please translate Wild’s messages? I’m getting a headache just looking at that.
Warriors: Also, I am fairly certain that Legend is planning something. Will keep an eye out.
Twilight: I figured as much. One second.
Twilight to Time.
Twilight: Congratulations, Time! This is wonderful news!
Twilight: I was wondering if a plus one is permitted? Asking for a friend.
Time: Is It Midna?
Twilight: I said it was for a friend.
Twilight to Shower Planners.
Twilight: Alright, I have a plan.
Twilight: Let’s get Legend hitched.
Wild to Shower Crashers.
Wild: Twilight is trying to stop us from ‘ruining’ Time’s shower
Legend: thanks for the update, I thought as much
Four: so, what’s the plan?
Legend: we fight fire with fire.
Wind: Did I hear arson? I’m in.
Warriors to Ravio.
Warriors: Hey, Rav, it’s been awhile! How’s the shop?
Ravio: Good. Need something? There’s a sale on fireworks today.
Warriors: I’ll keep that in mind. Listen, you still live with Legend, right?
Ravio: I do…
Warriors: Platonically?
Ravio: …
Ravio: Yes...
Warriors: I may have a solution to that.
Ravio: I’m listening.
Four to Warriors.
Four: hey Wars, do you have Midna’s contact? asking for a friend
Warriors: No, I don’t, and even if I did I wouldn’t trust you with it.
Four: so be it
Four to Shower Crashers.
Four: Warriors won’t help us. Wind, you know the drill
Wind: Oh I am so ready for this
Twilight to Shower Planners.
Twilight: Warriors, any news?
Twilight: Wars?
Ravio to Legend.
Ravio: So, I intercepted your mail this morning. A baby shower? Really?
Legend: Stop snooping in my things.
Ravio: Can I come?
Legend: Why would you ever want to do that? It’s going to be boring as hell.
Ravio: You must think I’m an idiot. You, going to a shower? Without planning to ruin it? Preposterous.
Legend: I have no idea what you mean.
Ravio: Wild just bought a crate of fireworks.
Legend: So? That kid’s a pyromaniac, it means nothing.
Ravio: Four and Wind also each bought a crate.
Ravio: That’s three times the legal amount.
Ravio: If you don’t let me come and watch the show I could always tell Warriors what you’re up to…
Legend: Fine. Just don’t get in our way. This is big.
Wind to Shower Crashers.
Wind: Here it is!
Wind sent Midna’s Contact to the room.
Wind: You should’ve seen the look on Wars’ face when I jumped out the window with his address book. Funniest thing I’ve seen in weeks.
Legend: Good job. Where did you hide the explosives?
Four: they’re at my place for now. we can move them to the barn the night before the shower
Legend: Perfect.
Twilight to Shower Planners.
Twilight: Warriors, what the hell is going on?
Warriors: Sorry! Sorry, I’m back.
Warriors: Wind just committed three felonies stealing my address book… They’re up to something.
Hyrule: Why your address book? That seems like an odd strategy.
Twilight: Wait. Don’t tell me.
Warriors: ...I’m sorry, Twilight.
Wild to Shower Crashers.
Wild: Twi is losing his shit and it is spectacular to watch
Wild: has someone contacted Midna yet?
Legend: Not yet. I have bigger plans for him…
Twilight to Wind.
Twilight: Please. Please, I am begging you. Do not give Legend her contact info.
Wind: Whose contact? I don’t know what you’re talking about.
Twilight to Legend.
Twilight: I swear to Hylia if you contact that woman I will kill you and I will enjoy every second of it.
Legend: Not sure what you’re talking about, Twi.
Legend: Looking forward to seeing you at the shower! It’s been too long.
Twilight: You’re a dead man.
Sky to Shower Planners.
Sky: Sorry, just woke up. Why do I have over a hundred unread messages?
Ravio to Warriors.
Ravio: I’m in.
Warriors: Thank the Goddesses. At least something has gone right. Will you please keep an eye out for any evil scheming? I can’t have him ruining Time’s shower.
Ravio: Will do.
Ravio to Legend.
Ravio: So what’s the plan?
Legend: Why do you want to know?
Ravio: Just curious.
Legend: I highly doubt that.
Legend to Shower Crashers.
Legend: They got Ravio in on it. I’ll need backup.
Wild: leave it to me
Wild to Malon.
Wild: so here’s the plan…
Legend to Shower Crashers.
Legend: Tonight’s the night. Four, everything in position?
Four: yep, we’re ready
Legend: Wild, any updates on Twilight?
Wild: let me check
Wild to Twilight.
Wild: how’s it going?
Twilight: I’m alright. Just sharpening my dagger in case of any emergencies at the shower tomorrow. You know how it is.
Wild to Shower Crashers.
Wild: he’s freaking out
Legend: Good. Everything seems to be in order then. Let the chaos commence.
Twilight to Warriors.
Twilight: You’ll keep an eye out for Midna won’t you?
Warriors: I’ll let you know the minute she arrives.
Twilight: Thanks. I can’t wait to wipe the smug look off Legend’s face.
Legend to Shower Crashers.
Legend: Guys? Did anyone else just see that?
Four: you mean Midna and Twilight together? because yes, and we are confused.
Wind: I thought you invited her?
Legend: No, I didn’t.
Wild: wait what? 0-0
Legend: I wanted Twilight to think I invited her so he’d be freaking out all day waiting for her to arrive. But this… This is so much better .
Twilight to Warriors.
Twilight: Why does Legend look so pleased? He hasn’t stopped laughing since she got here and I’m starting to wonder if I just fell for some elaborate prank.
Warriors: Yeah… and Ravio’s been laughing with him…
Warriors: I think we’ve been duped.
Four to Shower Crashers.
Four: uh, guys? the fireworks are missing.
Legend: Oh no.
Hyrule to Shower Planners.
Hyrule: Good news. I just found and hid two boxes of fireworks. I think their plan is officially foiled.
Twilight: Thank Hylia, at least something went right.
Wild to Malon.
Wild: we good to go?
Malon: The box is on the roof! Just be careful up there, wouldn’t want you breaking an arm again.
Wild: that was one time!
Twilight to Shower Planners.
Twilight: Hyrule, I thought you said you got the boxes?!
Hyrule: I did! They were hidden in the barn and Four was acting shifty nearby…
Sky: Then how did they still manage to set some off?
Warriors: We have a traitor in our midst…
Twilight to Wild.
Twilight: I see you up there.
Twilight: Come down.
Twilight: I just want to talk.
Legend to Shower Crashers.
Legend: Well boys, I would call that a smashing success. Hats off to you all.
Four: did you not see Wild running for his life just a minute ago?
Legend: That’s his problem, not mine.
Father Time to Untitled Group.
Father Time: That was a lovely shower, thank you all for coming. Malon had let me know to expect a surprise, and that was certainly some show. Bravo.
Twilight to Shower Planners.
Twilight: Time knew… the whole time…
Warriors: We’ve been had once again.
Sky: I really don’t see why you two even try to stop this from happening anymore. Legend always finds a way…
Hyrule: It was fun to watch, I can’t lie.
Twilight: Hyrule, not you too!
Legend to Shower Crashers.
Legend: So much for the element of surprise.
Wind: Who ratted us out? I just want to talk.
Four: was it Ravio? I don’t trust that guy…
Legend: No, Ravio was with me the whole time. Probably to make sure Twilight and I didn’t brawl, though it seems that Wild needed the protection more.
Legend: Wait a minute…
Legend to Warriors.
Legend: You set this up, didn’t you?
Warriors: Whatever do you mean?
Legend: I mean you put Ravio up to coming with me to the shower so I’d be distracted.
Warriors: No, I would never!
Warriors: Did you have fun last night? I got a lovely thank you message from Rav this morning, he seems quite pleased.
Legend: Wind still has your address book. Don’t think I won’t use it.
Warriors: Empty threats. You didn’t even use it this time.
Twilight to Wild.
Twilight: So about the party yesterday…
Wild: I’m not talking to you right now :(
Twilight: Wild come on. I didn’t mean it! I thought you were working with the enemy!
Wild: you ruined my favorite tunic, Twi! and after all I did to make Time and Malon’s day special…
Twilight: I’ll get you a new one! Please, what will it take for you to forgive me.
Wild: well…
Legend to Twilight.
Legend: I know you gave Wild your Dominion Rod.
Legend: Why the hell did you think that’d be a good idea?
Legend: He and Wind have been using it to reorganize my things all week and it is driving me insane.
Twilight: Good to know, I have no regrets.
Legend: This means war.
Twilight: Do your worst.