Chapter Text
When Kevin walked out of the airport, Jean was already there waiting for him. He was leaning against the hood of his car, a black Lamborghini that made Kevin roll his eyes every time he saw it. When Jean bought it they had argued, because it seemed like such an unnecessary thing to spend a small fortune on. Kevin’s opinion hadn’t changed, but even he wasn’t immune to the way Jean looked next to it, dressed in all black and with his hair tied back.
It had grown so much since the Nest; last time they had seen each other it almost reached Jean’s shoulders. To give you something to hold onto , Jean had joked when Kevin made a comment about it before their game, it’s the only way you’ll get past me.
That was their relationship now. One of jokes and casual conversation. They weren’t relegated to the darkness anymore, and sometimes that was confusing. Kevin had whispered so many things into Jean’s ear over the years they were hiding together. It had been secrets, confessions, dreams, and none of it had been addressed after Riko’s death. Just the thought of speaking any of it out loud, as much as Kevin wanted to, terrified him.
Especially now, when Nicky’s message had cautioned him against making any large changes. He was already challenging the stars by making this trip, so, for now, he would have to keep it inside, just like he had for the last year.
Thank god the sight of Jean still evoked that ridiculous, fuzzy feeling it had the first time they met. Kevin focused on it. The plane hadn’t gone down, he reminded himself. The bag he brought was hanging safely off of his shoulder, and Jean hadn’t gotten himself killed in traffic driving to pick him up. It was going to be okay.
Their eyes met, and at once Jean perked up. He didn’t say anything until Kevin was close enough for him to reach for Kevin’s bag. It slid off Kevin’s shoulder, and Jean pretended to be shocked by the weight.
“Are these your Astrology books?” he said with a grin while throwing it into the trunk.
Kevin chose not to dignify that with an answer, and walked around the car to the passenger side. Before he got in he stopped and looked over the roof, finding Jean’s eyes.
“I’m glad you’re here,” Kevin said. In response Jean furrowed his brows, making them look even more jagged and irregular than they normally did.
“I said I would pick you up. Of course, I am here.”
Kevin shrugged and got into the car. He expected Jean to start it up as soon as the doors closed behind them, but he didn’t.
“Why wouldn’t I be here?” Jean switched to French, like he often would when their conversations turned serious. It made it a bigger deal than it needed to be, so Kevin stuck his chin out and prepared to be laughed at.
“No, I know you said you would. But you know that link I sent you, with the compatibility?” Something changed in Jean’s expression when he nodded. It reminded Kevin of curiosity, softening the defensiveness that was peering through.
“Well, the site does horoscopes too, and Nicky sent me one before I left. It just reminded me that travelling can be dangerous.”
“Seriously?” Jean’s face cracked into a smile. His earring, a gold chain with a rose stone at the end of it dangled against his neck as he shook his head. “You have to stop reading those.”
The engine vibrated softly beneath them when Jean turned the key.
In the pocket of Kevin’s jeans was the small package containing Jean’s gift. It pressed against his thigh, reminding him that as soon as they got out of the car would be the perfect moment to hand it over.
When they were still in the Nest, Jean would sometimes light up at the sight of a particularly beautiful trinket. He would run his long fingers over it, asking Kevin if he thought it was small enough to keep out of Riko’s sight. This time, Jean wouldn’t have to hide it.
“Hello? Kevin?” Jean’s voice brought Kevin back to reality. “You know it isn’t true, so why do you read it at all?”
“He keeps sending them,” Kevin said and looked out the window in protest. “It’s not like I’m searching for them myself.”
They were in the middle of the caravan of cars towards the city, moving so slowly that people on foot were passing them by.
“Block him.”
“What?” Kevin turned back towards Jean, whose eyes were firm on the road.
“I said: block his number. So he can’t send you the things that worry you.”
“I’m not blocking Nicky’s number.” Kevin laughed, because the whole thing was ridiculous, but Jean remained serious.
“Give me your phone,“ he said and let go of the wheel. He held his right hand out towards Kevin with the palm up, so Kevin could see the rings he was wearing even clearer. Silver and gold of varying size were stacked on top of each of his fingers, clicking against each other when Jean grasped at the air. “Give it to me, and I’ll do it for you.”
“You’re driving.” Kevin swatted his hand away.
Something was playing in the corner of Jean’s mouth, but he had always been the better one at keeping a poker face.
“I can pull over,” he said. They were surrounded by cars on both sides, stuck in the famous LA Traffic, but Jean made it sound like a serious suggestion. “I mean it; you are too good to them. I blocked Jeremy the first week here.”
“What? You can’t do that. Why would you?”
“Because he kept sending me menacing horoscopes.” Jean looked so pleased with himself, finally breaking into a large grin. At the sight of it, the simmering warmth in Kevin’s chest climbed up his neck and over his face.
“Very funny,” he said, and turned to look out the window again, hoping to hide some of the redness that was surely tinting his cheeks.
☉
They parked outside of the USC dorms. Jean got Kevin’s bag out of the trunk, and ignored Kevin’s hand, reaching for it. Instead, he threw it over his own shoulder, and started making his way up the staircase to the floor with his and Jeremy’s room.
The last time Kevin visited, half of the Trojan team had been there upon his arrival. They’d all been excited to meet him, and in the evening Jean had complained to Jeremy and Kevin alike about the lack of personal space.
This time when Jean opened the door, there were no greetings being called out. Instead, the room was empty.
“Where’s Jeremy?” Kevin asked, standing awkwardly in the doorway while Jean threw Kevin’s bag on the bed with a giant Trojan flag pinned to the wall above it. Jeremy’s side, Kevin thought, considering the other side of the room was completely void of decorations.
“Sacramento.” Jean snatched some scattered clothes off the floor and threw them on the chair by the foot of the bed on his way to Jeremy’s bedside table. “Alvarez is visiting her family, so he went with her.”
Kevin studied Jean’s back. He hadn’t tanned much over the year, despite what he had told Kevin were Jeremy’s best efforts, still, he looked different. Maybe it was the way he moved, with a kind of confidence that he had never been allowed in the Nest.
In a way, it was wonderful, how free he seemed in this space where Kevin was just a guest. But on the other hand, it had been much easier to reach out when they were both in the dark.
Kevin was reminded of the gift, just waiting in his pocket, but at that moment it seemed so insignificant. Before him was the person who had been his world for years, and all Kevin had bought him to show how much he cared was an earring.
“I know what you’re thinking.” Jean turned around, so quick and sure in his tone that Kevin’s heart skipped a beat.
“You don’t.”
“No?” Jean took a step closer, making a show out of hiding his hands behind his back. “I know you.”
Kevin stood firm, even when Jean didn’t stop until they were inches apart. There was something mischievous in Jean’s smile, reminding Kevin of those rare weekends alone in the Nest. His heartbeat grew quicker with each second, until finally Jean brought forth one of his hands and held it open for Kevin to see.
In his palm rested a small key, attached to a keychain shaped like a Trojan helmet.
“He left it for us, so we can still visit your favourite court.” Jean looked so pleased with himself.
“Great,” Kevin said, so short and obviously half a relieved exhale that Jean looked him up and down.
“Not even going to deny it? Maybe the Foxes have not made you a liar yet.” Jean laughed, closing his hand on the key. “Ask me nicely, and we can go right now.”
“Really?” Kevin knew this game, this teasing tone that Jean would fall into when he was in an exceptionally good mood. “I thought I was going to have to drag you there.”
“You underestimate how much I have missed seeing the pout you do. You know, this,” he said with a gesture towards his face, while pushing his lower lip out, “whenever you lose.”
☉
When they were on the court together, everything made sense. All of Kevin’s worries were relegated to the back of his mind, and the only thing that remained was Jean.
At Palmetto, Kevin would focus on practicing his technical skills, because it was something he could do on his own. The kind of one-on-one training Neil would sometimes suggest wasn’t as rewarding for him, since he was still far above the rest of the team in skill.
But with Jean, it was different. All those years of spending almost every waking hour together had made them perfectly attuned to each other. Whenever Kevin tried to fake a shot, Jean saw right through it. When he found an unexploited angle, Jean was there before he could abuse it. Even when he tried to use sheer strength to force a shot into the goal, Jean was able to divert it with just the edge of his racquet.
After practice Kevin was sweating and gasping for air, more tired than he could ever remember being after playing with the Foxes. He longed for a shower, but even though Jean said they could use the shower at the dorms, he did not lead Kevin straight to the car. Instead, he took a turn right as they exited the locker room, still wearing their uniforms, and Kevin followed him through a heavy door and up a tall staircase.
They must have practiced for hours, Kevin realised when Jean opened the door to reveal the outside. They were on the roof of the court building, and night had already fallen. Above them was the great night sky, as black as the Raven uniforms but lit up by thousands of stars and the bright moon.
“I come up here to smoke sometimes,” Jean said while the lighter lit up his face for a brief second. He took a deep inhale, and the little red tip of the cigarette pulsated with his breath. “Coach hates it, but Jeremy covers for me sometimes.”
“He probably hates it too.” Kevin walked up to his side, picking the one where the wind wasn’t bringing the smoke.
“Just like you.” Jean glanced at him with a smile, that bordered on guilty, and Kevin did not object.
The summer night air nipped at Kevin’s bare legs. He reached into his bag, finding his jeans shoved in there and dug through their pockets until his fingers touched the silk ribbon tied around the package. Before bringing it out he clutched it for a moment. This wasn’t a big change, just the first of what hopefully was many gifts, exchanged as friends who finally did not need to be ashamed.
“For me?” Jean looked genuinely surprised, keeping the cigarette in the corner of his mouth as he accepted the box. He took it in both of his palms, cradling it like it was a sick bird.
“It reminded me of you,” Kevin said while Jean was still opening it, carefully peeling back the layers of wrapping. “I bought it ages ago. Do you remember the horoscope I told you about? It said my lucky flower was the Bay Leaf.”
Next to Jean’s rings, the earring looked less extraordinary than it did when Kevin examined it with his own naked hand.
“So you are hoping to get lucky?” Jean looked up with a sheepish grin. It was nothing but a playful joke, but it still made Kevin’s skin tingle. Then Jean held it between his thumb and index finger, bringing it up to his ear to show what it would look like there.
“I love it,” Jean said, and just the word love coming from his mouth seemed to suck all the air of the space between them. Had Kevin known it would be like this, with all those old feeling resurfacing as if they had never been apart at all, he might not have dared to visit at all.
Jean fumbled with the earring he was already wearing and slipped it into the pocket of his shorts together with the empty box. Then he put the new one on, and brushed his hair behind his ear to show it off.
“It looks good.” It was such an understatement, shame threatened to flush Kevin’s face. Still, it made Jean smile, and the hand that didn’t return to the cigarette lingered by his ear and the golden leaves for just a moment longer.
“Do you know any constellations?” He said then, switching to French and letting his hand fall to his side while looking up at the stars above.
“No,” Kevin shook his head. He was grateful for the excuse to look at something other than Jean, even if he was still in the corner of Kevin’s eye.
“No? I thought that was what Astrology was for.” The smoke from Jean’s mouth rose through the air, toward the distant lights, only to dissolve a couple of feet above them.
There had been astronomers for thousands of years, from Babylon to Egypt to China and Greece. Kevin searched for the shapes, just like he imagined they had. Eventually, his eyes fell on a cluster of stars, gathered just above a row of brightly shining ones, and he pointed at them.
“That looks like a racquet,” he said and laughed when Jean grabbed him by the wrist to pull his hand down.
“It does not, and you are not being funny,” Jean said, even though he was laughing too.
“It does!” Kevin tried to pull free, but Jean’s grip was firm. When Kevin took a step away to try another angle, Jean followed. When Kevin pointed at the stars again with his free hand, Jean grabbed that one too, even if it meant dropping his cigarette.
“Look at it,” Kevin said and nodded towards the sky, but Jean didn’t break eye contact for a second. They weren’t laughing anymore. “You don’t believe me, but it’s right there.”
“I believe you.” Something as swift as a shadow passed over Jean’s face. His smile fell, just a little, and he ran his tongue across his lower lip so quickly Kevin barely had time to catch it.
“So why aren’t you loo-”
Jean kissed him.
They were already so close, all Jean had had to do was lean a little further for their lips to meet. Kevin’s hands were still trapped in his grasp, the grip a little tighter than it was a moment ago.
It lasted only for a second, but when Jean started to pull back Kevin followed. He wasn’t ready to let this go yet, not after having wanted it for so long. Still, there was something in the way Jean’s mouth stilled that made him break the kiss.
And there it was, the great terrible thing that the horoscope had warned him about, written all over Jean’s pained expression.
“I didn’t mean to-,” Kevin started, but he wasn’t sure where he was going with it.
“You?” There was something hard in Jean’s voice. “No, I did that. I know I should not have because of you and- and whatever it is you and your guard dog have.” Disgust, Kevin realised, that was what it was.
“Andrew?” he said, and there was a noticeable flinch when Jean heard the name. Kevin’s hands were still in his grasp, but it was loose now, barely holding on. His mouth was sealed, looking stern and thin and nothing like the soft and hungry thing that had kissed Kevin moments ago.
Kevin tugged his wrists free and took Jean’s hands in his. The rings were hard, warm, and pressed into Kevin’s skin when Jean squeezed his hand.
“He’s my friend,” Kevin said. “And he’s with Neil; I thought you knew that?”
Even in the dark, it was possible to see the relief in Jean’s face in the way his mouth relaxed, falling just a little bit open as he swallowed.
“Josten?” he asked, as if there was another one. “Not you?”
Kevin shook his head and stepped closer again, so their chests were brushing against each other.
“Not me. Because I,” Kevin said with the greatest certainty he had ever spoken, “have always wanted this.”
Jean did not reply. He just leaned in, again, with even more eagerness than last time. His hands slid out of Kevin’s, and Kevin felt them on his hips, his arms, the back of his head and cupping his face.
It was a change, and even though it could not be, considering his life so far, his heart still told him that it was the biggest, most important change Kevin had ever made. It told him that even though the stars had advised against it, he would be insane to deny himself the warmth of Jean’s body pressing against his.
So he did not, and the stars could not do anything about it.