Chapter Text
Cas shuttered under Dean's touch. As he worked from the top down.
Running his fingers down the silkiness of the feathers. He dug his fingers deeper lost in the feeling and vibration of them under his skin. Almost as if his wings were a cat purring.
Reaching the long tips of his feathers Cas whined ”please”
He covered his hand over his mouth muffling his little gasps of pleasure. Intoxicating his mind with bliss. Dean moved away from the tip of his wings, "Are you good Cas"
Cas nodded his head slowly not daring to remove his hands from over his mouth. He worked his way closer to the base of his wing near his back. The feathers were softer and caused his wings to bow under his touch.
Reasoning they are more tender than the others, Dean works with more delicacy. Giving enough pressure to let the feathers fall but not as much to get too lost in the feeling. Still, he can't help but revel in the feeling, getting ever closer to his inner wing.
"Dean" Cas lets out a breathy moan, muffled by his hands. His wings thrust back against Dean's touch unintentionally deepening his movements into the sensitive feathers.
"Cas" Dean widens his eyes, but deep inside he is pleased by the sounds he causes Cas to make.
"Ah" Cas nearly screams this time as Dean hits the spot where the feathers meet his human skin. His vision blurring into a white light, ringing throughout his eardrums. His entire body on fire for a moment. Dean yanks back his hand guilt and embarrassment embedding its way into his mind.
He bits his lip trying to calm his deepest desires, "sorry Cas I'
"It's okay" Cas pants but he craves more. More that is too much to ask of Dean "Let's just stick to other areas that aren't as sensitive."
Dean gulps shaking away his lust "Okay" He starts the other wing this time with less confidence, more awkward hand movements. Each little gasp from Cas skittering him away.
Despite the tension, he manages to straighten them leaving the few closer to his sensitive zone untouched. They still lack an angelic luster it seems to Dean "Alright Cas"
"Thank you Dean um" Cas didn't know how far to press it had been hours already.
"What next," he asked shakily.
Cas tapped a spot buried under his feather near the top inner part of his wing "this is my wing oil, to coat my wings."
"You got some wax on wax off" Dean joked.
Cas tilted his head to the side, even from behind Dean knew he was doing that confused expression that always came with the head tilt "never mind"
"This part is more intimate, you have to do the inner parts of my wings, and closer to where the inner wing meets my" He paused nearly shuddering in remembrance "sensitive zone"
”Cas you just stop me if your feeling uncomfortable,” Dean says brushing his fingers over Cas’s shoulder in an attempt to assure him.
His wings stretch out closer to Dean allowing him to work. Dean dabs the little bump, excreting a hot somewhat silky oil on his fingertips. Despite the lack of color, it smells of cherries. Stronger now, each place Dean puts the oil his wings darken. Shimmering an array of colors under the sun.
Once the back of each wing is done, Dean moves around Cas practically straddling his lap.
”Hi” Dean grins at their awkward positioning. His body-loving every second of it.
”Hello Dean” Cas raises one eyebrow looking down at him. Full top mode.
Dean brushes his fingers hastily through the inner wings able to see the heat in Cas’s face. Hearing the little muffles he tried hiding. He wouldn't be able to control himself much longer.
Lathering both of his hands he worked his way to the inner parts of the wings. His body inches from Cas.
”oh Dean” Cas whined when he hit his sweet spot again this time on both sides.
He couldn't take it anymore Cas flared his wings back pushing Dean onto the ground. Straddling his hips he could see Dean’s darkened eyes filled with lust. Only for a second before Cas pressed his lips hungrily against Dean’s. Every skill he learned from the pizza man being put to use.
Both of them colliding with passion and vigor. The sexual tension finally broke. Dean dug his fingers into Cas’s feathers, as they kissed.
Just as they ran out of breath, their tongues swirling in each others mouth Cas realized what he did. He flung himself back, scrambling to a stand.
”Dean it -” Cas tried to explain but before he could make another sound Dean cut him off coming to a stand.
”was a mistake I know” Dean shut Cas down, he couldn't ruin their friendship. His heart shattered as the words came tumbling out of his mouth ”it was for me too”
A mistake, the words burned in front of Cas, reminding him he was too messed up to ever be loved.
”What” something inside him snapped. His face turned cold emotionless. Dean watched him shift rotten shame ebbing inside of him.
Cas flared his wings at Dean his largest feather held like a blade sharp against his neck. He glared at Dean before dropping it and turning his wings disappeared, leaving behind a few feathers. With a woosh, Cas was gone.
Dean stood there staring at the empty place where Cas stood moments ago. His mind blank.
He thought he was doing the right thing but now he wasn't sure.
--
”Hey Dean I found out some stuff about angels, bring Cas.” Sam called with a gleeful note in his voice. Rummaging for his book about angels once he entered the house back from the hunt.
Dean came shuffling out in the same dirty clothing he was wearing when Cas left his hair unkempt and dark circles under his eyes. His face was dull without his usual misguided vitality.
Cas had been gone for days since their kiss, and Dean wondered if he had scared Cas off for good. He may not have been the one to kiss him but what he did feel was unrequited. Cas just got caught up in the moment.
Sam looked at Dean with worry wrought into his features ”Cas left”
”Left,” Sam asked raising his eyebrows before crossing his arms.
Dean nodded gritting his teeth, casting his eyes to the ground.
”I swear there's more drama between you boys than a damn teen drama” Bobby denotes his voice dripping with sarcasm looking worn out from the hunt ”what did you do this time Dean”
”Really dude runs off all the time and now you're blaming me,” Dean says taking a step back.
Sam’s face screwed up like a cork ”Yeah Dean because he almost died not three days ago”
”I know Sammy” Dean mumbled, silence falling over the room. Sam and Bobby didn't sway waiting for Dean to sway. Hardly a whisper came out ”Cas kissed me”
Bobby gaped at Dean, speechless. He always had his suspicions but Cas wasn’t exactly tenacious when it came to human interaction.
“What did you say back to him Dean,” Sam asked with an accusatory edge to his voice. Pointing a finger into Dean’s chest “I know you insist on this heterosexual facade but Dean you’d have to be blind to not see how in love you are with Cas”
Dean rubbed the back of his neck his entire face set aflame “huh” he blinked Sam knew.
Regaining his composure Dean spoke his eyes still glued to the ground “I don’t, yes I’m in love with Cas if that’s okay with you both.”
“You idjit you’ll always be my son, now sort your problems out I’m old and tired. I’m going to bed” Bobby grumbled giving him an affectionate squeeze on the shoulder. When Bobby left the room Dean turned back to face Sam.
Everything he was rode on Sam’s acceptance and approval “Dean you know I will always accept you. Before Cas even, I had the inclination of how you felt, doctor sexy.”
“Don’t say anything about doctor sexy” Dean laughed pulling in Sam for a hug.
“I told Cas that I knew it was a mistake, Sam. This doesn’t change things he doesn’t feel the same about me” Dean admits his eyes drooping, and lips down turning into a frown.
“Did you ask him that” Sam raised an eyebrow at Dean “or did you just assume you are to shit for anyone to ever love”
“The second one”
Sam shook his head, grabbing the book back into his hands “You are an idiot Dean. You know why that feather turned blue it’s because his soulmate touched it - you”
Regret seared down Dean, he called Cas’s kiss a mistake “No it can’t be true”
“Look Dean” Sam points to a page, tracing his fingers over the words “Angel courting. After an angel falls in love whenever the mating feather touches your soulmate it erupts into blue color. Wings unfurl each time an angel's love enters the room in an attempt to seduce their mate. Angels-“
“Stop Sam” Dean grinds his teeth shoving the book out of his hands “I get it I’m stupid, I called it a mistake Sam.”
“Dean if anyone can fix this it’s you. Go fix it, use your words.” Sam softened, leaving the room with bags in hand.
Taking what Sam said to heart Dean frantically searches his room. Spotting the abandoned tan trench coat. He grabs the feather out of the pocket, turning it a delicate shade of blue.
“Cas please” Dean prays closing his eyes hoping for a familiar woosh “come back. I need you, I’m sorry.”
“What Dean” Cas snaps peeved, to say the least. Dean never felt the heat of Cas’s hostility till now.
Holding up the feather Dean looks to Cas waiting for something he didn’t know what. Swallowing down his fear like pop-rocks crackling down his throat.
Cas spotted the blue thing, anger deepening his features. His eyes turning to paper-thin slits.
“Bite me Dean” Cas snarled, turning away from him “I’m done”
Hastily Cas began to walk away each step pounding the ground forcefully.
“Stop” Dean grabbed his arm spinning him back around.
“Why it was all just a mistake to you” Cas yelled he didn’t care anymore if Dean knew. Every part of him shattered left with nothing but hurt and rage to pick up the broken pieces. Dean was mocking him with the feather that was supposed to represent their love. He tried pulling away from Dean.
“Stop” Dean slammed Cas against the wall his forearm holding him in place “stop, stop. It wasn’t a mistake.”
The trashing stopped, Cas tilted his head to the side. His head was still pounding with wet anger on the verge of tears “Don’t lie to me, Dean. I don't need you to pity me, we will go our own ways and you can forget you ever met me.” Cas’s voice wavered, a tear slipping from his eye. He shut them tightly as to not left Dean to see him so vulnerable.
His words were harsh but Dean knew where they were coming from. The hurt he felt all because Dean couldn’t see past his own blundered self-esteem.
“It not pity” Dean leaned in so their faces were just inches apart. Gently wiping away one of Cas’s tears, letting him cry fully “I feel- dammit”
Dean pressed his lips against Cas’s, he could feel his eyelashes as his eyes fluttered shut. His lips we're salty but just as soft and warm as he remembered. The two shapes clicking together like pieces of the same puzzle. Melting into each other when they finally pulled apart Dean smiled “that wasn’t a mistake”
“No?”
“No, why didn’t you tell me about what the feather meant.” Dean held it out securely in his hand. Letting Cas go from the wall but still balancing on him because of his weak knees.
Cas threw his arms around Dean pulling him in sobbing into his shoulder “I didn’t want you to feel obligated to love me in the way I love you”
”Love?” he asked almost as if he couldn't believe this was real.
”I love you, Dean Winchester”
After a moment of shock Dean finally spoke ”I love you too Castiel, Cas.”
The two of them chuckled still wrapped in each other's arms.
”Tell me angel” Dean wiggled his eyebrows twirling the blue feathers between his fingertips ”what other angel courting is up my boyfriend's sleeve.”
”Boyfriend?” Cas cocked his head to the side looking confused ”Sleeve”
Dean smiles awkwardly at Cas ”if you want to be my boyfriend”
”I do” Cas nodded trying out his terms ”Castiel angel of the lord, Dean Winchester's boyfriend. Come closer and I'll show you what I have up my sleeve.”
Dean stepped forwards looking at Cas with utter admiration. Cas placed his hands on either side of his shoulders pushing himself up.
Delicately Cas presses two small kisses on Dean’s closed eyelids. Tingling over his eye he opened them.
Before his eyes, Cas’s wings reappeared fluttering softly. Faded in the background every so often Dean could see a flicker of his true form.
”To share each other wholly we must accept every part of each other.” Cas recited in Enochian ”that is why you could bare my pain with me because you accepted every part of me as I did you.”
Dean cupped Cas’s face rubbing his thumb over his stubble ”Stronger together”