Chapter Text
"Drink this, miss Blair. It is magic for hangover."
She must tell Dorota to stop shouting her lungs out, but her lips seem to be stuck together. Does she have to part them with a knife? Or scissors maybe, even though it sounds painful. Or maybe the sharp ray of sunlight will have to do, setting fire to her exposed skin.
"Come miss Blair, let me put this pillow under your head."
She groans in pain, because can this be her head Dorota is touching? It feels large, heavy, throbbing violently. Maybe a knife is needed after all, for her to cut her skull open with it and let some pressure pour out.
"What time is it?" She finally manages to mumble out, feeling her chapped lips start to burn. It is too soon for her to open her eyes, but it's fine, she can take small steps at a time.
"Almost noon."
Noon. That explains the flare of fire flowing on her sensitive skin, or maybe it's light, she can't really tell.
"Is anyone home?"
"No. Mr. Chuck still not come back."
She almost feels culpable for how relieving the statement sounds to her, sighing silently. The sudden comfortability encourages her to open her eyes, greeting the sunlight with a crooked smile.
"Bring me some coffee and a croissant, chop chop, Dorota." She lazily orders, stretching her arms while yawning, swallowing a gulp of purified air.
"Yes miss Blair." She hurriedly obbeys, leaving a tall glass filled with a green liquid on the nightstand.
Blair can almost feel herself about to gag, just by looking at what seems to be green mud with little pieces of snot swimming inside of it.
"What the hell is this?"
The nausea in her voice seems to alarm Dorota, as the woman quickly grabs the trash can, shoving it under Blair's chin. "Vomit it miss Blair. You had a lot of drink. Not good for liver-"
"Your disgusting excuse of a liquid got me wanting to puke, not my hangover." She interrupts, angrily, waving her hand dramatically, "Now go bring me coffee; and take this awful thing away from me, or you'll have to mop the ceiling today."
Dorota is out of the door in a heartbeat, leaving Blair with now intolerable yet vivid memories consuming her mind.
"Dan."
"Waldorf."
The impassiveness gripping to his tone brings Blair back to her senses, with her quickly hiding the somewhat joy she feels behind the closed lids of her eyes.
"I find it hard to believe that you're invited to this party." She says, calmly, mentally giving herself a thumbs-up.
There is no sign of his usually playful grin or the regular amusement dancing in his glare, he looks only disturbingly blank.
"Give my sister her job back." He plainly says, breathing soundly through his nose.
His demand angers her, the lack of rage or pain in his expression setting her off; his heart should be broken, and however stitched it might be, there still has to be blood leaking from somewhere under his shirt. However, it remains pale blue, the color of it in contrast with the red drink in front of her.
"Why would I do that?" She makes the next move, and if there is one thing she can count on, is Dan's protectiveness of his sister.
He seems unimpressed. "Because you fired her for a leave of absence she informed the office manager she was going to take."
"And it is my company, so I can do whatever I want with anyone working for me ."
"Don't you mean your mother's company?"
His words cut deeper than they should, given how she has read the exact statement in various local newspapers. Maybe it is about how he has gone from smiling at her cruel comments, to striking back with cruler ones.
"You are blocking the view, Humphrey. Get out of my sight please."
And for the rest of the night, he does.
"Come on Dorota, hurry up!"
------
A box full of macarons. Peonies. Their good old grand gesture for each other. She has grown to hate loving it; with every gift he brings, a piece of her forgetting what it was like not to forgive, to hold him accountable for the mistakes he makes.
"How was your trip?" She asks, kissing him shortly on his lips, secretly wondering whether a short kiss had always felt this perfunctory.
Like petting a dog. She remembers.
"Ah, nothing for you to worry about. Tell me, did you go to the dance?"
She feels the familiar annoyance scratching the insides of her chest, threatening to come out as a scream. The unnecessary secrecy Chuck always carries irritates her, even though it used to be amusing to her in highschool.
She nods, blinking rapidly. "Yes. It was mediocre, they hadn't really tried all that much. Can't expect much from those people, however."
He smiles. "I am under the impression that no foolish man should try to satisfy Blair Waldorf with anything less than a royal party."
Blair honestly doesn't know if his words are a reference to all the problems with Louis; however, after 2 years she decides she doesn't really care. Maybe that's what growing up feels like, she is simply learning to let go of the questions she fears the answer to.
"I hear Humphrey's back." He says and his voice is so unnaturally low, Blair almost misses it. Surely Chuck will never see Dan as a threat, she thinks, she chose Chuck after all and left the other boy hanging with a burning question in his head.
"Brooklyn has one more pretentious hippie in its population, yes. But let's not waste our breaths talking about Dan Humphrey when we have our exciting party to worry about."
Chuck's eyebrows tangle together, as they always do when he is hit with a question he doesn't really care about the answer to. "What party?"
Blair feels slapped and looks at him with all the disbelief she can manage in her eyes, she wants him to know he has forgotten something unforgettable. "Our engagement party, Chuck. It is the most exciting party of the decade, even that cockroach Gossip Girl has admitted it."
"Oh yes, of course. Whatever you want, Blair. Order anything you want, book anywhere you want. I want you to have the best party of your life." He says, dismissively, kissing her on the cheek.
She suddenly feels the strong urge to pull at his sleeves and gain back his attention, that is what she does best, admittedly. She has gotten Chuck Bass, the bad boy, to commit to her, want her on his arms, which she considers her biggest accomplishment.
"No man can or magazine should be able to take that away from her." She remembers Dan saying, and pushes the thought to the back of her head, along with the annoyance she has momentarily felt.
"Don't you worry about that. I know what I am doing, Chuck. People will feel like they are living at dumpsters and eating garbage after my party."
In a way, she has accepted that it is hers more than it is theirs .
"But she tracked me down and asked me to work for her? What the hell is wrong with her?" Jenny's voice, after half an hour of complaining, sounds more like a squeak than anything else. Her platinum blonde hair is sticking out in weird positions, giving her the look of a mad person, which is only complimented by the wrinkled black robe hanging from her boney shoulders.
"Do something, or I'll have her sent to a nut house," Eric slowly grumbles to Dan, closing his eyes momentarily; "And no, the irony isn't lost on me, but as I remember, I wasn't a basket case, I was just trying to rid myself of upper east side."
"How about we send her to your mom's and just let her be her problem for a while?" Dan silently suggests, and by the small grin Eric gives him, he knows his offer isn't half bad.
Jenny waves her hand in front of the whispering duo, grunting. "Are you guys even listening? This is serious!"
"Yes Jenny, it was also serious 4 days ago when you told me the whole story, and also serious when I tried to get you your job back from my ex girlfriend, to whom I hadn't spoken for a year." Dan retorts back, and is met with a soft glare from his sister.
"Thanks about that, you didn't need to do that."
"I know I didn't, and what I'm saying is that this is pointless. Move on from this shitty job, Jenny. You deserve better." He concludes, trying his best to not sound admonitory.
She nods so hard, Dan is afraid her head might fall off. The necklace she is wearing jingles, a silver layered padlock that is apparently a gift from Eric. The boy can pick a gift, Dan thinks, impressed, and suppresses his urge to laugh when he suddenly remembers the 20000 dollar watch Serena had tried to give him.
"I want this shitty job, okay? I've worked hard in it. She can't just throw me out without even so much of a recommendation letter! After I slept 12 hours a week when she insisted on opening that stupid store in Brooklyn-"
She suddenly has all of his interest, and he feels guilty for a second, thinking how much of a selfish ass he must be. "Insisted? Why?"
Eric tosses a grape inside his mouth and shrugs. "That's the burning question. No one really knows why she was so set on about it. It's probably a bold investment, I guess."
"Who cares? We have bigger problems here-" Jenny interrupts, and again only gains growls from the two boys.
"Then go beg for your job back." Eric says, and Dan is torn between thanking him or heying him for using a harsh tone with his sister. With a look at the mess her sister is pulling off, he decides to do the prior one; he lays a hand on the guy's shoulder, a hand that only sits there a moment before Eric moves forward to put his arm around Jenny.
"You're crazy." He says, and even if he is serious, the girl laughs.
"I know. But this meant the world to me, I don't have anything else. Not a boyfriend, or friends, or hobbies, or literally anything ."
Dan just has to correct her. "Well not literally , you're using the word wrong."
The deadly glare she shoots at him is enough of an answer, yet she also narrows her eyes before saying, "Shut up, Dan."
The note of desperation in her voice is too strong for Dan to ignore. "I'll ask Serena to talk to her." He says, sighing, and by the way his sister's eyes start to shine, he knows the awkward conversation will be worth it.
"Thank you thank you thank you!" She cheers, locking her arms around his neck and pulling him into a hug. "You're the best." She tries to whisper in his ear, an attempt that is useless, given by the way Eric smiles sweetly at them and makes a gagging sound.
Oh this is going to be uncomfortable as hell.
------
He honestly doesn't remember how he and Serena end up being okay again; he used to think there are things that can't be ever forgiven, and certainly filming one's ex having sex to get back at said one's bestfriend fits into that category pretty well. However, he finds himself calling Serena when he is still back in Italy one day, hammered, with his body spread on his uncomfortable mattress, crying gently because of Blair. Then he calls her again the next day to apologize, then the next week to ask how she is doing. They make a routine out of it, him complaining about his blocked pen and her about how she has started to develop feelings for an oblivious Nate.
He congratulates her the day she gets together with Nate, and she does the same when he tells her he has finished the first chapter of his new book. They become friends again and accept the always conquered parts of their hearts that belong to one another, yet moving past it with a dignity that only comes after 6 years of unnecessary drama.
That is why in the current moment, he can sit in front of her and look at her shining laugh and rumpled blonde hair and only feel a warm security, one he can now count as one of the few steady things in his life.
"I'll talk to her, but I have to warn you, she probably won't come around." She says and takes a sip of her latte, looking into Dan's eyes with an apologetic glare. "You know how she is. Plus, even though she always admitted to Jenny's talent, she has never truly liked her."
He feels annoyed, the way he used to do when he was 16 and witnessed Blair push his formerly naive sister around. "I don't care if she likes her; Blair liking someone doesn't say anything about them except that they are probably horrible."
"Hey!" She protests, smiling, "She likes me ."
"I said probably."
She laughs, biting the corner of her lip. "Well thank you, but anyway, I'll talk to her. She's in a good mood, she might listen to reason."
He forgets the promise he has made to himself and spits out a bitter response; "Scheming behind some poor girl's back, I presume?"
Serena suddenly looks flushed and unsettled, taking a large sip of her drink. Dan can read her like one of his classics after all these years, easy and with no real trouble. "What?" He asks, stubbornly, and is somewhat panicked by the way she takes a deep breath.
"She is throwing her engagement party." She explains, shortly, stealing her eyes away from his.
He probably should feel more , more of anything really, but he is washed out, not bothered by these things after the heartbreak he has endured. It's like how his father has given in, waiting for Lily to make up her mind about their future, with him only watching from the bench as she plays different games. He bitterly realises he has become like his dad, but not in a way he has always hoped to; not into a calm and kind father figure, but into a sad and ever living ghost of what he once had been.
"Oh." He says, and shakes his hand disparagingly to let her know he is okay. "Use the narrow window to your advantage then."
"I will. Putting this stupid topic aside, how's your book going?"
Oh, the dreaded question. "It'll come out in a week, actually. I'll do my book signing in the book store I did my last one, and there's a small party too, in three days."
She looks a bit offended. "You're telling me now? Weren't you planning on inviting me?"
He clears his throat. "After the disaster the last one was, I begged Alessandra to just let the idea go, but she seemed pretty set on it, so I figured I'd just not tell you guys and pretend it doesn't exist."
"Dan!"
"What?" He asks, angelically, and she just nods her head.
"Sorry, but we're all gonna be there. Rufus will never forgive you, you know. And an unforgiving Rufus is a pretty hard pill to swallow, I'll tell you."
"Lily's not having an easy time, is she?" He concludes, and tries to leave the bitterness out of his tone.
"No. But she deserves it, I'm tired of her always throwing away the good things in her life. At least this time she's having a hard time about it."
"They're engaged again, how can they be so miserable?" He says and is rewarded with an agreeing gaze from her.
"She's still hung up on Bart's stuff. He's missing and I guess she feels responsible somehow, I don't know." She huffs a breath out, "God, I think I'm starting to get better at not being like my mother, it's a relief."
He smiles. "Yes. Yes, it is."
------
"Is this the right tie?" Rufus asks, and Dan vaguely remembers one of Blair's first rules about choosing a tie: 'Always try to go with a shade darker than your shirt, Humphrey. But of course you are color blind, so I don't even know why I'm bothering.'
"Wear the dark red one." He says, eyeing the light pink button down his dad is wearing. "You sure you want to wear this?"
Rufus shakes his head. "Yes. Lily's wearing red, I thought I'd try and match."
Dan scatters a pile of his own ties on the bed and groans. "Why are you all making such a big deal out of this? It's just a party, a pretty boring one at that too." He says and chooses the jade green one that he thinks goes well with his light purple shirt.
"This is your book, son. Don't steal the pleasure away from us."
"Yes well, the pleasure won't last long when you'll have to talk to a bunch of upper east siders Serena invited to 'help me get support for future.'" He says, air quoting the last part.
"She knows what she is doing, let her do her job, Dan." Rufus says, distracted, and yells out his daughter's name; "Hurry up, Jenny! Eric and Lily are waiting in the car."
"Fine, fine, coming." She shouts back and rushes towards the door, holding a black purse that looks too dark against her shining orange dress.
"You look beautiful." Dan says, feeling old just looking at his younger sister in a dress he can only call breathtaking.
"Thanks. Let's go."
Not 15 minutes later, he is yanked into an empty room by his collar, feeling choked for a moment. "What the hell?"
"No one can see you, remember?" Alessandra reminds him, the familiar intense ardour sewed to her expression. "Wait here. Read a book, have a drink -only one - to calm your nerves."
He chuckles. "I'm not nervous, Alessandra. Gotten too used to nerve wrecking parties to get anxious about them."
"Whatever. Do not come out in the next 20 minutes, okay? We need to paint an aura of mystery around you. And about the girl you dedicated this book to,"
"She couldn't be here." He cuts her off, not in the mood for one of her infamous speeches about amassing sponsors.
"Okay. I'll go and try to talk you up." She says, waving her hand, "Don't come out."
He sighs. "Wouldn't even if the room were on fire."
Half an hour later, Serena flies inside, holding a martini that she offers him with a sympathetic smile. "Having fun?" She asks, and he sees the oh so familiar devilish look in her blue eyes.
"Unfortunately for you, I guess I'm having more fun than you are." He shoots back and from the way her face crumples, he knows the arrow has landed right on the spot.
"Please, Dan, I've seen worse." She says, "But I think I have to tell you something that'll probably make you prefer to stay here."
He has never liked - and will never like- her dramatic build ups before a speech. "What?" He asks and she bites her lip nervously.
"Blair's here. I invited her, I thought it'd be a good opportunity for you to have a firm talk with her; about Jenny's job."
To call what he is feeling 'shock' would be inaccurate; it feels more like a really good plan gone wrong, the plan to not have to talk to Blair again.
"And she came?" He needs to be sure, to grip to a reality he is not certain he can believe. Such an out of character move for Blair Waldorf, he briefly thinks.
"Yes. I'm sorry if I overstepped anything, I didn't mean to-"
He needs her to stop talking. "It's fine. Thank you."
It will be good for him; to rip off the bandage, quickly and less painful than the alternative, he decides. The clock shows 35 minutes past 8 and he is both hungry and annoyed, and he tells himself at least he now has a good excuse to get out of the room and get some food. Blair Waldorf as an excuse, he thinks, and laughs internally.
He opens the door with an unnecessary force, coming face to face with a crowd of people whose eyes all immediately turn to him. There is a moment of silence before a loud round of applause fills the room, the sound reminding Dan of the joys of being appreciated.
"Hello everyone, thank you all for coming, I hope you all enjoy your evening." He says, raising his glass, "To all of you."
Almost everyone takes a sip, and he uses this as an opportunity to find the person he is looking for. It takes him less than a minute to spot her, in an olive green dress he assumes costs more than half of his closet. Their eyes interlock, and the romantic inside Dan wants to grasp the moment and declare it as fireworks in the sky. The shattered hearted young man however, knows better to do so. He takes long steps towards her, and is surprised when she starts walking to him too.
"Well, well, Humphrey! This party is even duller than you are." She says, and without the vulnerability that came with her drunk self the other night, she just seems cold and distant.
"Hello, Blair." He says, trying to take his displeasure under control, "You know you always have the option of not attending, right?" He is disgusted by how he sounds like a 5 year old playing diddo.
"Yes, well, Serena begged me to come and rescue this ," She points around the room with one hand, "Thing you call a party. But as I see it, nothing can really improve the bland quality you put into everything."
Sometimes, he now remembers, Blair is just simply and deliberately cruel. No agenda or scheme involved, she just seems to enjoy watching the hurt flow in someone else's eyes. He used to think she had grown out of it, truly admiring her for how she tried to fight her demons, yet he now decides that being with Chuck hasn't really helped her with the matter.
"I have no intention of standing here and quarreling with you over something that can't matter less to me, Blair." He says with a firm tone, "I will make my request short and to the point."
She snorts. "Can you ever make anything short and to the point, Humphrey? You always hyper blab about everything."
Her attempt to get a rise out of him is really remarkable, but he decides to brush her comment off in a way he knows will go into her head. "For whatever stupid reason, my sister seems to want that job, Blair. I know she single handedly runs one of your stores in Brooklyn and she is great at what she does. Let's be mature about this, give her the job back."
She smiles sweetly, patting on his shoulder. "And why would I do that?"
His heart skips a beat before saying what he knows will either make the situation much worse or much better. "Because you owe it to me."
Her eyes widen in what seems to be sheer shock. "I owe it to you? Correct me if I'm wrong, Humphrey, but you slept with my best friend. Am I wrong?"
"You never answered my text." He spits out, and for the first time in the night, he can see something flicker in her eye, something close to guilt.
"So what? My lack of answer wasn't a clear enough message for you?"
"I had been your best friend for a really long time, Blair. I think you know it wasn't enough." He says and sighs deeply, closing his eyes for a moment, "Look. I don't care about that, alright? I'm somewhat glad about how things turned out, it got me to writing this new book. What I want -the only thing I want- is for you to be rational about the whole Jenny thing."
There is a moment of pause before she jams her glass into his hand and snarls. "Tell her if she is a minute late on monday, I'll make sure she won't get another job in the industry." She says, and lowers her voice, "Don't think this was for you, Brooklyn, I just got tired of your pathetic begging."
She turns around and walks away, her bare back covered with layers of brown hair.
He tries hard to fight the smile that threatens to appear on his lips.
------
When he signs the first copy of his book to his dad, he leaves a note he knows will bring tears into the man's eyes;
' For the man who taught me love, courage, and kindness; my hero, my idol, my rock. To my dad.'
Even though the tears in Rufus's eyes are about to spill, he manages to hold them back long enough to hug his son, whispering "I am proud of you" in his ear.
Jenny snorts.
She chews on her perfectly colored lips when reading the reviews for 'Life' and blinks rapidly, looking at a certain one said by a New York Time's critic.
'The book 'Life' encourages you to question your way of living, pushing you to discover the meanings of existence the same way its main female character does. A fresh and unique book to enjoy, another success from Dan Humphrey, the writer of the famous novel 'Inside''
She almost devoured the book the day it came out, too ashamed to admit it to even Dorota, yanking the package out of the maid's hands when she had tried to read its label.
'To Hasti, the sun and the moon rolled into one person, shining every minute of every day, keeping my life alive.'
She had read it with such jealousy it had shocked her, with her desperately trying not to think about the reasons behind said emotion.
The read had been pretty good and easy, Classic Dan Humphrey's overthinking and punctiliousness clear in every line. She had found herself envious of the main character, a free spirited mature girl enjoying whatever life has provided her with. She was a more enjoyable version of Serena, which made her all the more enviable.
Maybe that is the main cause that fules her to read every comment about the book, scrolling down with a huff each time someone has called the girl great, likeable, or in one case 'all that is good about life'.
She closes her laptop shot with a soft grumble and stands up from her chair, suddenly craving a glass of mimosa to suppress the weird energy flowing inside her chest.
"Dorota! Bring me a glass of mimosa please." She yells out, and even after all these years is still surprised by how fast Dorota obbeys her command.
The maid puts a tall glass in front of her, accompanied by a plate full of berries. "Have this. Antioxidants, miss Blair. You getting weak."
Blair drinks a huge gulp, so unlady like it earns a stare from Dorota. "What? I'm thirsty and this is absolutely refreshing." She protests and closes her lips around a strawberry while Dorota moves to make the bed.
"I read mr Humphrey's book. So good and pretty." She says and Blair almost chokes on her mimosa, the alcohol burning her throat.
"How? It came out yesterday!" She says before realizing what her sentence suggests, but from the way Dorota's expression remains unchanged, it is clear she had already known.
"So you read it too? It was that package you get yesterday."
She feels irritated. "Not the point, Dorota. Where did you get the book?"
Suddenly Dorota almost looks scared, taking the plate in front of Blair and going for the door. "I go get you some more fruit, miss Blair. You wait right-"
"Dorota!" She almost roars out, surprised by how ill mannered she sounds for the second time in the morning.
The maid turns back, and the unease swimming in her eyes makes Blair absently think she must be doing a good job as an employer. "He send me a signed copy yesterday." She admits, her voice small, and Blair can easily say she has never been so shocked by Dorota.
"What?"
Dorota fiddles with the corners of her dress anxiously. "He said he send one for all his friends."
"Go bring your copy. Go on." She says, ignoring the unwillingness in Dorota's movements. She comes back not a minute later, reaching the book in front of her with a small tremble in her hand.
'To Dorota, because you just know me so well.'
She eyes Dorota in annoyance and huffs a breath out. "You and your crush on Humphrey. Need I remind you that you are married and have two children?"
Dorota blushes so hard, it's almost comical. "Not a crush on Mr. Humphrey, only a friend." She mutters, and despite her best efforts, Blair laughs silently.
"I'll call and tell him to stop harassing you then." She says, and before Dorota can dive for her phone, she dials Dan's number and is answered after one beep.
"Blair?" The surprise in his voice is so thick, it angers her. This isn't that out of the ordinary now, is it?
"You know that Dorota is married, right? Don't you have the tiniest sense of decency?"
She refuses to acknowledge how his laughter gives her lotion covered skin goosebumps. "You are deranged, Blair." He says.
"And you are a homewrecker."
She hears him snort after a short laugh. "How about we discuss this over coffee? You can yell at me all you want, and I promise to nod in agreement every two minutes."
There is a light joy in her tone -one she can't shake off- when she accepts; "I will text you an address, and please try to look decent at least. I'm not having coffee with a muppet."
He laughs again, and she wonders: when did they get here ?
------
The second time it's lunch two days later, in a restaurant she picks, 'None of that bitch Gossip Girl's minions will see us here.'
The third time it's a walk in central park, during which she admits to reading his book and the smug look on his face when she calls it 'adequate' is both charming and infuriating.
The fourth time is when Nate catches them watching 'Gone with the wind' when looking for Eric in the loft, and he simply gives Dan an odd look before closing the door. Two hours later Serena stops by Blair and Chuck's apartment, and only nods, unconvinced, when Blair insists that she and Dan are just friends.
The fifth time, their picture ends up on Gossip Girl, so she is ready when Chuck asks her about it.
"We're friends, Chuck. That's all."
He seems dubious enough to make her feel guilty. She kisses him, runs her fingers through his hair and unties his bowtie, tossing it somewhere in the room.
"It's just Humphrey." She whispers in his ear, and feels at fault for the dim unsureness she hears in her own voice.
At first, Nate only lightly asks him what is going on. After a while, he starts to be more firm and accusing. During their last argument, he says something that decomposes him.
"You're doing what Chuck did to you."
Dan feels agitated, thrown back to being the 16 year old outsider that nagged about how the upper east siders loyalties seemed to always lie with each other at the end of the day. "I don't remember you protesting to Chuck when he did it though." He snarls.
Nate doesn't seem bothered. "You're better than this, man. Their engagement party is in two days. Can you honestly tell me you guys are just friends when you watch the two of them together?"
His heartbeat speeds up. "I'm not coming to that. I told her when she invited me."
The other boy shakes his head. "That's not the point, man. You'll end up seeing them sooner or later." He sighs, "Don't do this to yourself. You deserve better."
Dan closes his eyes. Maybe, for the first time in his life, he only cares about what he wants, not what he deserves.
------
The next day is what he years later likes to call the most surreal day of his life, when Blair rushes through his door, ignores Jenny's hello and pulls him out by his hand, pushing him inside a limo.
"What the hell is going on?"
She gives him a fake smile. "What in the world do you mean, Humphrey? Can't a friend abduct a friend for a day of fun?"
He makes a grunting sound. "You know, there are moments that I simply don't understand why we are friends."
"Don't be a sissy, Humphrey. We are going to have a day of fun."
"You have a party in two days, Blair. Excuse me if I don't buy that you want a day of fun . You should be yelling at a poor staff man about flower arrangements right now."
She glues her eyes to the floor of the limo, her voice smaller than he remembers it ever being. "Help me get through today."
Right in that moment, he realizes he has thrown all the closure he has built away, as his heart races and he wants nothing more than to wipe the sad expression off her face. "Sure."
She smiles shortly, before going back to her fierce self in a blink of an eye. Her stinging jokes start feeling like home to him, as he vaguely remembers how he used to love her witty banters a year ago.
The car stops in front of her old penthouse, and before he can wrap his head around it, he is looking at the spiral staircase and the checkered floor.
"Dorota's at our place," She says, clearing her throat, "We're alone here. I will bring some dvds, and you go fetch me a drink. As I recall, you were an awful bartender, so try and not suck this time."
He goes into the kitchen and pours them two glasses of the first wine he finds - a Frontera merlot sitting on the counter. He takes a huge gulp and refills his glass, taking a deep breath to calm himself.
The opening credits for 'Rebecca' are playing on the screen when he tosses himself beside her, putting a good foot of distance between them. She however, seems to disagree, as she scoots closer to him, her breath tickling his neck whenever she laughs. She gasps when Maxim learns about Rebecca's cancer, as if she doesn't know the movie by heart and soul.
He finds himself watching her instead of the tv, how her long lashes shadow on her pale face and her lips twist into a faded smile, one she doesn't notice him noticing. After a few moments, however, she looks up, her brown eyes shining brighter than the screen.
"You're missing the good parts, Humphrey."
He exhales silently. "I don't care."
It's a soft brush at first, then a more lasting press, and before either of them know, it turns into clattering lips and teeth, roaming tongues, sharp moans.
"Dan," She pants, and God, he doesn't care; about truth, morality, even life itself. She murmurs his name against his lips again and again, until she stops, pulling away, and he is almost scared to open his eyes.
"Dan, this-"
"Please don't." He begs, because he knows the tone too well to be oblivious to its meaning. She closes her eyes again.
"I'm engaged."
In the moment, he finds out how poorly he had put together the pieces of his heart, for they shatter again, easier than before, with just a hint of the rejection in her voice.
"Please;" His thumb is still on her cheek and it gets wet, a tear rolling down on it.
"I'm sorry."
That is all he needs to hear to know hope is lost.
He cries in the cab.
------
It has been a magnificent party, as everyone keeps telling him. He wouldn't know. He had been drunk and inside another woman's arms at the time.
He will never know.