Chapter Text
U.A. has been both a blessing and a curse to Izuku these past couple of months. A blessing in the fact he found himself truly happy since he was first diagnosed quirkless and being surrounded with such understanding and well meaning friends that made him feel like he truly belonged for once. The teachers that actually cared for his wellbeing and constantly kept an eye for him and his classmates was a plus. It was a dream come true and often he had days where he’d disconnect from everything just to let his mind catch up to the fact that yes this is real you’re really here!
In opposition to the sheer ecstasy he felt within the walls of U.A. came the overwhelming feeling of dread and anxiety that came along side one Katsuki Bakugou like a two for one deal at the store. Katsuki always had him feeling things on complete opposite sides of the spectrum. Wether is was the disgusting crawl of ineptitude that Katsuki had a way of knowing how to spark within him or the sheer unadulterated love that burned so brightly and so intensely within him that it left him with lasting consequences.
Katsuki had always been a point of inspiration for him, the ground zero to the explosion of emotions that detonated within him any time he so much as thought of him. Katsuki was strong, prideful, and on top of it all he was egotistical. The biggest crack in his armor that only did so much to deter Izuku from falling for him even further down the chasm of unrequited love. He’s always loved Katsuki, how couldn’t he, he was everything Izuku hoped to ever be and more burning so brightly and so beautifully it left him breathless both figuratively and literally.
Figuratively in the fact that he would forever be awestruck in the beauty and strength that was Katsuki Bakugou and literally in the fact that from the love that burned for Katsuki and only Katsuki grew an amalgamation of flowers within his lungs and up his throat. He’s always loved Katsuki, from the very first time that met all those years ago so small, so young, so incredibly stupid drunk off a feeling he had yet to fully know let alone understand. Every moment spent with Katsuki only further cemented the love he held for him, being there for every accomplishment, for every moment of triumph, for every hard earned victory and prideful little smirk.
It started so simply and so innocently a love that left butterflies in his tummy and tingles in his fingers. His four year old mind not understanding the magnitude of what he felt or the things that would transpire from a love that was unrequited. No matter what Katsuki did the love only grew and grew and when Katsuki deemed him useless and below him Izuku childishly clung to the smallest of hopes by continuing to call him Kacchan.
At the young age of five he coughed up his first flower petal so small and so red. The tiniest of rose petals lay in his tiny little palm.
He knew what it meant from the stories at school and the stories his Mama read to him late at night when he was tucked in bed. He loved Kacchan and he wanted to show him just how strong his love for the other boy was. The next day when he gleefully approached the other ready to announce to him how he felt hoping beyond hope that maybe this way Kacchan would stop being so mean and they could be friends again. Before he could confess a sudden heavy and cold feeling clenched in his tummy and in his heart so strongly and so suddenly it left him in hysterics and not even his Mama’s hugs helped.
He knew from then on that is was his bodies way of telling him no, that telling Kacchan how he felt would only hurt him further and he should simply let the flowers in his lungs grow further. Later on he coughed up a different petal, an orange petal belonging to a marigold that now grew alongside the roses in his lungs.
Throughout the years so many different flowers joined the garden growing inside of him and in middle school when Kacchan was cruelest and his meanest the flowers began to wilt and decay. It hurt Izuku at first when it happened but he had grown tired and weary yet just as hopeful throughout the years in that maybe he could finally get over Kacchan and move on. Those years had been the ones where he could breathe so easily and so freely the cruelty of Kacchan helping to extinguish the flame in his heart.
The day Kacchan told him to jump off the roof with no remorse and such casualness left Izuku breathing the easiest he’s ever had since he was four. How could he love when this is what he got in return?
Even though his lungs no longer felt heavy his heart hurt at the callousness of the boy he once called a friend. Yet fate decided that Izuku’s suffering was something it found entertaining having him go through two life threatening situations in that same day and haphazardly threw him a bone at the end by having All Might tell him he was finally worthy of something. Those upcoming months had been physically torturous but he could breath so freely and so openly it didn’t matter to him if his arms and legs felt weak from the all training he was being put through, he was finally free.
In his time appreciating just how deeply he could breathe now he had forgotten that Kacchan was also headed for U.A. and therefore on his first day when he stepped through the door of 1-A and was promptly greeted with the sight of Kacchan angrily arguing with a fellow classmate it all suddenly came rushing back. His chest clenched painfully and although Izuku knew that there were no more flowers in his lungs he clenched the straps on his backpack keep his mind off the tickling at the back of throat.
He wouldn’t fall again. Katsuki was cruel, he was mean, cared only for himself, and thought him useless. If he repeated these words in his head then Katsuki would simply be another classmate and nothing more. There would be no hoping, no wishing, no pining. There would would be nothing but a strained near one sided broken friendship.
Izuku should’ve known better. He should’ve known U.A. in all it’s greatness could change Katsuki for the better, could put him in his place, have him grow some humility and see others as people and not as stones to step on. He was so similar yet so different from the cruel little boy he use to be and Izuku for all his efforts in detaching himself found himself falling all over again. He knew he had been lying when he said to himself that he felt nothing for Katsuki anymore.
You could never truly fall out of love because it would still be there buried beneath all those other feelings of yours it’d be different but still there.
The roots of those flowers were still there in lungs stubbornly clinging on despite his want to be rid of them. This time they grew back so much faster nurtured by the love he unknowingly held on to, they grew past his lungs around his heart and up his throat deciding that this time they would cling on harder than they did before. In the coming months it grew harder to breathe and when Kacchan was taking and subsequently returned Izuku found himself gagging on a thorny vine crawling its way out of his throat. It curved out the corner of his mouth, up his right cheek, over his ear, and into his hair the thorns painfully digging into his skin and scalp stubbornly clinging on him even when he tried to pull off the vine.
Later when All Might came to his home to speak with his mother about the dorms Izuku stubbornly refused to speak or acknowledge the vine slowly creeping across his skin. He would pay it no mind knowing well what was running through their minds and the implications of the vine. He would deal with it on his own and if that meant acting like nothing was wrong… then at least it was something he had experience in. Later on when in the presence of his classmates and his teacher when they moved into the dorms he ignored the worried gazes of his friends and Aizawa Sensei when they saw the vines with blooming flowers growing twining around his right arm.
His classmates upon being given the go ahead by their teacher to enter the dorms immediately swarmed him voices overlapping one another in their attempts to ask him are you alright, why haven’t you had the surgery, who are you in love with, can you breathe?
The questions came rushing out all at once and overwhelmingly worried. He quickly placated their worries to the best of his ability answering the questions he could. Confessing that although he knew of the fate that awaited him if he allowed the flowers to keep growing he refused to get them surgically removed. He told them it wouldn’t work they’d simply grow back, of that he was sure, he’d done his research. They left him alone afterwards their worry still palpable and his gut twisting with guilt for worrying his friends.
Fortunately throughout the next couple of days the vines on his arm receded somewhat his focus taken off of Kacchan and instead focused upon the upcoming provisional license exam. His time and mind preoccupied with making sure he passed the exams his anxiety prioritizing studying with his friends.
Only a day or so later after their exams did he find himself back under his friends worried gazes, his vines having grown significantly the night Kacchan confessed his feelings of guilt in his self appointed involvement with the demise of All Might. They had grown both in size and length along with smaller vines growing from the main one on his arm luckily All Might had stepped before Kacchan could notice, separating the two and leading them back to the dorms. Their banter on the way back filled Izuku with warmth and the thorns on the vines sunk further into his skin.
From then on every moment spent with Kacchan that didn’t result in being angrily yelled at only lead the vines to grow further, the love he had once desperately attempted to rid himself of feeding the plants growing both within him and on him. Soon he found himself focusing upon other things yet again with his work study taking over his time and his mind. Solely focusing upon one tiny little girl who desperately needed him to save her.
Soon after the danger had passed and he was back in the safety of U.A. Izuku found his relationship with Kacchan steadily growing friendlier in nature. Although he couldn’t confidently say they were friends he knew that the dynamic that they had before had significantly changed. He was no longer afraid or as anxious and Kacchan wasn’t as brutish or angry yet there was still some underlying tension between the two.
Throughout it all Izuku was falling once again for the ill-tempered boy.
Breathing soon became difficult once again and the plants grew both in size and in number, it had gotten to a point where eventually the staff of U.A. decided it was necessary to stage an intervention. Especially now that Midoriya looked more like a walking greenhouse than a person and was periodically coughing up bloody flowers. The school didn’t want to lose him to something that could easily be taken care of.
Aizawa had been tasked to keep Midoriya after class and tell him of what was to go on. The staff had gotten permission from Midoriya’s mother to have the surgery performed on him to have the flowers and vines removed. It was nonnegotiable, he was underage and his mother had already signed the necessary documents. Aizawa had expected the protesting that typically came along with being told that you where essentially being forced to get rid of your feelings and most precious memories for someone you loved.
Yet Midoriya remained placid and compliant easily agreeing to the surgery following Aizawa off campus to a car that’d take them to the hospital. Aizawa wanting to understand why Midoriya was so willing to go along with this despite it being something most people would vehemently fight against doing. Sating his teachers curiosity Izuku explained his calmness.
The surgery would only be a temporary solution to a long time problem, because no matter the times they removed the bushel of flowers from his chest he would never truly fall out of love with the person in question. Simply because he’d fall for them all over again, it was tragic and painful constantly falling for someone who felt nothing for you back. To fall for someone who you had such a complicated past with were only just recently you’ve finally managed to mend what little was left of that broken and fractured relationship.
Maybe he was being stupid, maybe was selfishly clinging on to hope, maybe he naively thought that if he mended the relationship just enough maybe he could finally have the love he’s always longed for but would never receive. He wasn’t sure, but he knew that no matter what these feeling would stay and they would come back because his heart would forever yearn for Katsuki.
So when he was finally prepared for surgery painting a morbidly beautiful image of a small pale body with vines wrapped around him in a beautifully twisted imitation of veins and a gallery of flowers growing out of him Aizawa wondered if this would truly help his student. It felt as if this was the beginning of a viciously painful cycle for the young man before him. His student smiled back at him gently as if to tell him it wasn’t his fault, there wasn’t much he could do, it’d be fine.
Aizawa hoped for his students sake that it would.
Izuku stepped into class eyes alight with happiness and excitement greeting his friends with a bright smile and happy shout of good mornin’! Approaching his desk the smile on his face brightened upon seeing Katsuki his eyes, filled to the brim with warmth and happiness, crinkled at the corners. His heart squeezed at the sight of the other boy in front of him.
“Good Morning Kacchan!”