Chapter Text
Chapter 7: How to Reincarnate a Soul Left to Ruin
Hollow is out of it most days. Lost to their mind with little able to break them out of their trance.
Those days are harder. A repeating cycle of both Hornet and Ghost trying to break their sibling out of their trance gently as more startling methods wind up with Hollow in a worse place than before.
On these days they will find Hollow stock still. It is always a hard decision on whether they should touch or not. Sometimes nothing happens. Other times Hollow will jolt and curl into a protective ball shivering as if they expect the following touch to hurt. Hornet suspects Ghost knows more, but she has yet to teach Ghost enough written language for more complex expression and they have only built a few signs with the language of hands.
All she can do when she has the time is sit and tell stories. When it is safe she holds their hand and rubs comforting circles just to feel as if she is doing something.
It is strange to see Hollow act so completely empty. Like her sire had intended. In Hornet’s youth she had made it her personal mission to pull her sibling out of their shell when it was just her and them. When she could watch for small signs of expression that only Hornet knew of from hanging out with them. Eyes lighting with joy when they were fully engrossed with something.
Now they reminded her of a lifeless corpse. Startled to life only by the illusions of their mind.
She hates it. Hates not knowing what she can do. What will help. What will hurt. She can only try, and it takes her back to the days when she was all alone and only knew of uncertainty. She has long tried to forget those times, but the fact that she does not know what to do only brings her back.
Turning her thoughts back to her sibling, Hornet wonders if it would have been kinder to release their sibling from the burden of life. Rather than have them remain trapped in their tormented mind.
Yet…
They were stock still, waiting like father would have wanted them too. In front stood father along with a couple of his knights.
She was waiting for her chance. Hiding behind the black rocks that lay here and there in the temple.
When another knight entered and led the King and his knights with him she saw her chance.
She ran out from her hiding place to her sibling, wanting one last chance to speak with them before they would disappear from her forever.
She reaches out for their cloak and pulls, “Hollow!” She whispers loudly up at them.
They flinch mostly from their honed instincts before looking down at her. They give her the same look her mother gives when she runs into her meetings.
You are not meant to be here. The expression speaks.
“I just wanted to talk to you once more before you go.” Hornet says. Almost whines in the only way a child can.
Hollow looks around them cautiously before kneeling to reach her height. Even though she has grown some, she still only reaches their knees. They reach a hand out for her to hold and she latches on quickly.
“Do you really have to go?” She asks. Trying her best not to blubber like some grub.
Their hand tightens around her own. Trying to reassure her.
“I want you to stay.” She whines.
Hollow looks away. Their pretence disappears for a moment as their eyes sadden.
That admission of wanting more than what they are destined for speaks volumes to Hornet. Even the lynchpin to the Kings plans does not want to go through with it.
Yet Hornet knows none of them really have a choice in the matter.
“I’m going to miss you. I won’t have anyone after you’re gone.” Hornet hitches.
Hollow reaches out as if to give Hornet one last comforting gesture, but at the sound of footsteps in the distance they quickly stand back in their original position; as if they had never moved.
Hornet understands, but cannot help her tears as she runs away. Knowing she will never see her sibling again.
It has been that desire for more than they were allowed that she secretly held close to her heart for all those terribly long years that had stretched uncountable. To let her sibling be more than the King created them for.
It was why when their weakness caused the infection to spread all throughout Hallownest she was not surprised. It was why she drove herself to find a vessel that could replace them. For at the signs of their breaking, what else could she truly do for them other than to give them rest?
It was her folly to rely so heavily on something she already knew would fail. Just like the King had. For no vessel she had met could pass her test of their emptiness or their strength would fail. For nothing that has the ability to learn can ever be empty.
She had almost given up hope when the Ghost arrived. Running on habit she had merely done what she had done for the other vessels. Meet them. Challenge. There was no real malice or real strength behind her needle. Only the desire of something to hold onto and when the little ghost had passed her tests she had felt something she had not felt in an eternity.
Hope.
She quietly opens the door to Hollow’s room. It is still quite early and she hopes to find them still asleep, but is disappointed to find them leaning against the wall staring blankly forward. She wonders if they have been like this all night or if it was a nightmare that roused them.
She forces a smile underneath her mask, hoping it will make her sound happier than she is, “Good morning Hollow.”
When they shift their attention to her, she hopes today will be better than yesterday when she received nothing in response.
“Did you sleep alright?” No response. “That’s fine. I did not sleep well either. Do you feel any better compared to yesterday?” She tries.
A slow nod of their head. It trembles as if they are barely able to keep their own head raised.
“Do you feel any stronger today?” She pushes.
At her question she watches them raise their arm. She watches as it shakes and quivers from tiredness.
Troubling, but not surprising at this point, as they have been laying in the same spot since they arrived. However, to have been healing for weeks and still no strength gain. It worries her but she does not know what to do. She knows that when she is injured, she can lose a lot of her strength, but it usually returns as she starts moving again. Maybe that is the problem. Hornet needs to get them moving.
But how do you move something that has no strength to stand? Let alone start moving someone nearly 3 times your size?
“I think we need to start helping you move more. I fear all this sitting in bed has done nothing to help regain your strength.” She continues. They stare back at her.
“Anyways, I am going to go wake Ghost. They have tasks they need to get done today. In the meantime, can you try moving your arms? I know it is hard, but you will regain your strength quicker if you move.”
They respond by moving their arm again. Trying to flex its shrunken, scarred limbs.
Hornet couldn’t help the small smile that lights her face.
“Good. If you reach a point where you cannot move it, try to at least raise it into the air.” Hornet moves her arm up as an example before letting it fall back underneath her cloak.
With that she leaves their room to go wake Ghost. However, when she opens their door she finds them already collecting a few things from around their room.
“Ghost?”
They turn to stare at her.
“Good morning. Are you still planning on traveling into Hallownest today?”
Yes. They sign. One of the few she has had time to teach.
“Good. I will be hunting in greenpath today if you need me. Afterwards I might be traveling deeper for a personal matter. I will return after. If you get back before me, would you please check on Hollow?”
Yes.
“Good.” Making sure her needle is secure to her back she leaves the house at a brisk pace, turning into a sprint once she leaves the outskirts of town.
While she hunted all she could help but notice how quiet and still the crossroads were.
The crossroads no longer pulsed with infection, all the corpses she had animated had finally fallen to true decay, leaving only their bodies and a distinct stink in the air. She could only hope she could find something by Greenpath that had not been too touched by the infection enough to live.
She does not pass where the Black Egg used to sit, but she knows she will need to return soon to see if she can find her sibling's weapon. Though wary to actually give it to them in their current state, she could not let it lay around for any raider to find. Perhaps if she remembers she will stop by.
Her hunting does eventually take her deep into Greenpath, taking much longer than she had hoped, with her almost turning to the collection of berry bushes in the area to sate her hunger. However, she manages to find a stray vengefly and mosscreep. She was quick to munch down on the meat and let her venom turn the meat into digestible liquid. She is thankful for the meat as berries never could fill her like meat could and made her stomach turn more often than not.
With her belly full, she directed herself deeper into the kingdom. Flying past the queen’s gardens to the darkness of her native home. She had not returned since she knew of the Little Ghost’s plans to challenge her sibling. Lucky enough that they waited for her arrival before they removed her mother from this life completely.
Deepnest is eerily quiet. Only the occasional chittering of dirtcarvers and distant rumbling of garpedes filled the silence.
It's feels strange to be returning here, as if it was merely a strange place she had never been before.
Hornet tried to remember what it used to sound like. To hear the familiar skittering of multiple limbs, a sign of home, but she found that she could not.
Even when Hornet had left the Hive, she had not returned to her home in Deepnest, having already heard the news of her tribe leaving. Those who had stayed behind were already falling to the infection. Hornet did not know then whether she could have handled the difference of what she knew of home and what was left. The few times she caught herself starting through the tunnels she could feel her mind slip dangerously and would always force herself to leave before it got any worse.
But now, with everything said and done, she could not turn away. Now that she knew she had something to return to. Still, it did not stop the feeling of sadness from hitting her like a garpede at the site of her mother’s empty bed. Bringing her to her knees at the foot of it.
She thought she had properly mourned. She thought when she left her bedside full of cold resolve she could finally leave her behind. Could focus on the future when the Hollow Knight miraculously survived.
She shouldn’t cry. It was a noble sacrifice and it would be selfish to be sad. She can feel her sadness and anger start to crawl its way out and she quickly stifles it. Even when she feels her shoulders start to twitch from the repression she takes slow steady breaths to prevent the tears that threaten to spill.
“You are free to mourn, my child.”
At the voice, Hornet is on her feet with her needle. Looking for the intruder to her mother’s grave, “Who are you and why have you intruded upon this space?” She is quick to threaten. Silk flaring.
Out of the shadows, an old voice speaks as she emerges, “I did not know I would need invitation to visit this space.” A large centipede with a split mask.
Hornet nearly drops her needle in shock when she sees who it is, and it is only instincts that keep her hand tightly wrapped around her weapon, “Midwife.” A statement that rolls up into a question.
“It is I, dear. No need to treat me as if I’ll bite.” Hornet can hear the edges of a lilt in her voice.
“I did not even think you were alive.” Hornet replies, still holding onto her weapon, just in case.
“Still a prideful child then.” Midwife titters, “and I fear the stagnation of time has only worsened such traits. Do this old woman a favor and put down your weapon? It is quite the rude gesture towards your old wet nurse and it would pain Herrah terribly to know you would raise your weapon to me. Besides, what a sad reunion it would become if I were to be skewered by your needle." Midwife requests as she moves her way to where Herrah used to lay.
Reluctantly, Hornet puts down her weapon, and while her arm slackens, her eyes still watch Midwife warily, “Why have you revealed yourself to me only now?” Hornet asks, previous emotions coloring her tone.
“It is simply luck that I arrive while you are here. I still have obligations here in Deepnest and you never come to visit!” Midwife admonishes with several legs moving along with her words.
Hornet deflates at the acknowledgement that the mistake is hers, “I apologize. There were many times I would try to come, but I…” She remembers the strange apathy that would overcome her at her attempts, “...I could not.”
Midwife silences. Giving her a long stare before, “It would not have been the same. It would have no longer felt like the home you wanted.”
Hornet hates how that sounds. Clenches her fist in frustration, but she could hardly lie to the midwife. She nods her head and bows her head in shame.
“Now dear, there is no need for that. What has happened has happened. It is time to leave it in the past where it belongs,” Midwife replies.
“What do you mean?” Hornet asks.
“Well, simply that the age has changed. With the seals destroyed and time flowing ever present, life can finally move on from the previous age.”
“What will you do, now that Deepnest is nothing but a memory?” Hornet asks, curious yet cautiously.
Midwife stills for just one still second before Hornet can hear her giggling away with ghoulish delight, “Oh, Hornet. It is quite rude to ask an old woman what she does with her remaining time!"
Hornet sputters, "I- How would I know? I was still a grub when I was left to the wastes." She did not bother to hide the accusation in her voice.
"Please Hornet, it was merely in jest. Though it was in poor taste that I prodded. To be frank then, this old woman has one last brood to raise before my time is over.” Midwife states.
Hornet's eyes widen, "There is a surviving brood?” She says faintly, breath having left her at the news.
“Quite! I was just as surprised, but I’ve been collecting the unhatched eggs I've found in hopes that when the stasis ends, they will finally be allowed to hatch. Luckily, some of them have managed to survive it all. I am interested to see what they become. They surely will be an interesting brood, but I hardly doubt anything will beat raising you~” Midwife teases.
Hornet knows she is trying to make up for her previous folly, but she cannot help dampening the mood once more, “...I am sorry I was such an unruly child.” Hornet apologizes.
“Why are you apologizing, child? You can hardly be blamed for your actions as a grub.” Midwife chastises. "You are supposed to remember your childhood memories fondly."
Something ugly rears itself in Hornets mind, "You speak of a fond childhood, yet you would leave a grub to defend herself against eternal ruin.”
“Herrah did leave you to grow under Vespa’s care, did she not?” Midwife asks carefully.
Something in Hornet snaps, “Yeah, with merely enough time to learn the needle before I had to decide whether to leave or remain forever!” She challenges angrily.
Midwife tries to speak her words carefully, “Child, Herrah had no gift of foresight like your father. She did not know that Vespa-”
“SO!”, Hornet feels her eyes water as tears fall down her cheeks, “What is the point if I will be left alone anyways!” She accuses in a low tone. She feels her emotions threatening to overcome her as her shoulders hitch and she runs.
She runs and runs because she knows the second she stops all the horrible feelings she’s hidden from the world will come bursting through. All the hatred that bloomed during lonely nights before she slept, when she grew hungry because no one ever taught her how to properly hunt for food, the long days of trying to figure out her own silk as there was no one left to teach her how. Every poor knot a frustration for how easily she could remember her kin weaving away.
When she feels she has distanced herself from Midwife, she finally takes the time to stop. She swallows the want to scream and fit like a grub. She twitches from all the pent up emotional energy swirling within but she refuses to give in. She takes deep breath after deep breath until the emotions are once again wrapped under thick, mental silk bindings. Tightens them with the mantra of I am an adult. I have to act like one. I have no right to be angry or sad about my mother’s-
“Hornet, I truly am sorry.” Midwife’s voice rings out from another hallway.
Hornet turns around, only to see Midwife slowly approaching.
“HOW DID YOU FIND ME?” Hornet screeches, unable to stop the jolt that ran through her body.
“...You ran to your old room.” Midwife states. “But there is something more important I must say.”
Looking around to confirm, Hornet realizes Midwife is correct and white hot embarrassment heats up her face. She is glad her mask hides it.
“Truly Hornet, I am sorry for what I said earlier. It was not the words you needed to hear and not the message I was trying to get across.” Midwife continues, “and for that, I am sorry.”
“No. It is like you say. I am an adult now and I have no right to-”
Midwife cuts her off, “No, Hornet. You have every right to be angry with Us. Me and Herrah. We had the duty of taking care of your needs and trust, and we have both failed you in that regard.”
Hornet finds herself speechless until her words manage to slowly creep in, “No. It is time to move on from what this past century has done.”
“I can only hope you will take those words to heart, but I cannot demand anything of you at this point. I know you probably have places to be, but let this old, selfish woman ask one more request of you?”
“Yes?”
“When the brood hatches, I would like you to be there for them as an older sister. They will be coming into a world that has very little structure and I want them to know they will have the support of someone even after I am gone.” Midwife asks. “If not for me or Herrah, for them alone.”
“I- I promise to return for them. I can promise that.” Despite her heritage, she does not wish to continue with what her mother had. Not after she has seen the effects of ruling has so personally. Not after everything that has happened. She fears she has been left too socially inept to ever take up such a position.
“Thank you, Hornet. I will see you in time then.” With that Midwife leaves to return from the darkness in which she emerged. Leaving Hornet to contemplate her words in silence.
Hornet looks around her old room. Sees her old nest and moldering toys and thinks like everything else in her life that it is a perfect representation of all she has left. For everything she used to know has gone to rot.
It is when she notices something bundled in web that peaks her interest enough to investigate. Upon shaking and unraveling the old threads she finds her old toy needle. The one she carried around before she was old enough to understand the responsibility of a real weapon. To her surprise, she finds the surface unblemished for the occasional small dent. Evidence of how rough she used to handle the toy. It was probably the most new looking thing in the room.
Despite everything else, this alone had managed to surpass the test of ruin.
She pockets it in her cloak before she departs once again.
--------------------------
“Hollow? Little Ghost? I have returned.” She announces when she returns.
At her words the Little Ghost comes running out of Hollow’s room before excitedly giving her a hug.
“How has your day been? Has anything happened while I was gone?” She asks.
Ghost is quick to write choppy letters on a paper before giving it to her. It read Good day! Found fire for Grimm. Stay with Hollow.
“That is good. Have they been practising the arm exercises I set out for them?”
They fingers sign a yes.
“Any episodes?” She continues
Ghost had to think for a second, hands fidgeting before signing a simple, yes.
Hornet wilted at their words and let a sigh escape her lips, “Was it bad? Do you know what triggered it?”
Yes, and then a delayed No.
“Let Me go talk to them. Afterwards, would… would you like to hang out?” She tries, one of her arms moving to fiddle with the toy needle hidden in her cloak. The words ‘hang out’ feeling awkward on her tongue.
At their repeated yes’s Hornet couldn’t help but feel some of the lethargy leave her frame. “Ok.” She responds weak, but tone lighter than before.
“Hollow?” She says as she knocks on their door to announce her presence. As she opens the door, she notices them flinch before looking up at her.
“Ghost says you had a hard day today.” She says and adds, “Can’t say my day was much better.” Her steps are quiet and methodical as she walks over to their bed. She reaches out her hands for theirs before stopping and staring at them, asking for permission.
When they raise their hand to meet hers she snatches their hand into her grasp and holds it lovingly in both of hers.
“I met with Midwife today. You probably don’t know her, but she was one of my primary caretakers in Deepnest. She took care of broods.” She continues to speak, filling up the space for both of them, “Anyways, I was reminded that there are still things to look forward to. I know… I know things are still hard for you, I know I have not had an easy time either, and you really can’t talk about what's going on yet, but I want you to know that I hope that someday you will be able to wake up one day and not have to worry that it will be a bad day. That you will be able to do whatever you want. That you will have a voice to speak. That your mind will be fully yours to think whatever thoughts you want. A will that is truly unbreakable. I-” She bits her tongue when she realizes she is rambling and turns her hands fumbling into her cloak, “Here,” she pulls out her toy needle, “Do you remember this?” She holds it out for them to see.
When they finish looking at the toy to back to her she continues, “Remember when I used to carry this around? It was so long ago I would not blame you if you didn’t, but I found this laying in my old room and- well, it was the only thing not decayed with time.” She pauses to phrase her next words, “I like to think it means while everything may seen ruined, there are still things that have survived. You survived, so I like to think there is a chance for you.”
When they don’t move a muscle, Hornet’s embarrassment finally reaches breaking point as she thrusts herself around their midsection. Hands resting on her siblings back. “I don’t want to lose anything else. I love you,” she places her head on their torso, “Your the only thing left that hasn’t died to that stupid infection. I refuse to let you leave me too”
When Hollow does not move, she continues, “You’re supposed to hug me too.” She demands without any actual strength.
When she feels their hand on her back, does she finally let a smile make its way onto her face.
Maybe she can imagine a future for herself.
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Far beneath the ruins of Hallownest a deep rumble can be felt. Its disturbance only noted by the shadow creepers that noticeably startle at the vibrations coming from beneath their feet.
Eight white eyes shine in the darkness.