Chapter Text
One, two, three, four, five-
And he did it again.
He kept doing it, constantly. Turning himself around in his dining table seat just to look at the calendar on the kitchen fridge.
The calendar wasn’t particularly interesting. It had a picture of trees with falling leaves for the header and no special details.
It was what was in the coming days that captured Sonic’s attention and made him so jittery and jumpy in his seat-
“Sonic?”
The hedgehog jerked around in his seat. Tom and Maddie were looking at him, concerned, from their places at the table.
“What?” Sonic said nervously. “What’s up?”
“Any reason why you keep looking at the fridge?” Tom asked.
Okay, he thought, how am I supposed to answer this?
Tom tilted his head. “Did you leave something weird in the fridge?”
Sonic snorted. “Pff, no! Since when have I ever done that?” He asked, not really wanting an answer.
“Well,” Maddie started, a slightly smug smile forming on her face, “of the ones that I can remember, you’ve put sour cream with big avocado chunks in it, a heavily salted watermelon, chocolate sauce-covered bacon, a bowl of cereal with orange juice-“
Note to self, Sonic thought to himself as his mother listed his many food-related crimes against humanity, start working on not going crazy during your sudden craving hours.
“-Oh, and let’s not forget the time you left at least half a dozen chili dogs covered with whipped cream in there.”
“Oh god, I remember that one.” Tom groaned, rubbing his face.
“Whaaat?” Sonic exclaimed, defensively “It’s not that bad! Really, you should try it sometime.”
The conversation diverted into Sonic’s strange cravings and discussion on abominable food combinations.
Good, Sonic thought as he looked back to the calendar, eyeing the next days of June.
He didn’t really want to talk about what was on his mind right now.
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Dear Tom and Maddie…
“Noooooo.” Sonic said, scribbling over the top of the page, “I will sound like an 18th-century rich person with a start like that…”
He paused. “Well, actually I wouldn’t. But it’s too formal for my style!”
Sonic sat, legs crossed, on top of the covers of his racecar bed. In his lap was a notebook, covered in crossed-out sentences and small doodles of himself with spots of marker ink bleeding from the other side of the page. It was meant for notetaking in school, but he seldom used it for notes, preferring to draw in it, and left very few pages spared for schoolwork.
What Sonic was trying to do right now though was writing a letter. Or rather a note for Tom and Maddie explaining where he was going to be on Saturday. Or…a script? Even he wasn’t sure how he would tell them this.
In the beginning days of June, the pride parade events began. Sonic had never been to one, or at least, not actually participated in one. Green Hills had them quite a few times in the years Sonic had lived in the shadows of the town. It took him a while to figure out what they were celebrating, and even longer to understand what all the flags meant.
A few years before he accidentally revealed himself, Sonic had a realization when he was…12? 13?
What he realized…was that he liked boys.
He still wasn’t certain if he also liked girls or if it was just boys that he liked.
But…it clicked together.
And he felt…euphoric
…and disappointed.
Euphoric because he figured out a part of himself that felt strange but welcome like an old friend, and that there was a whole community dedicated to people like him.
Disappointed he was an alien, a living EMP bomb meant to hide itself, and therefore was unlikely to ever be part of that community.
This year, however, now that he actually lived in and was part of the town, he wanted to go to one of the parades. He could disguise himself and collect as many pride flags as he wanted!
However, there was one problem. And that problem was: Tom and Maddie didn’t know. About who he was or where he was going on the weekend.
It wasn’t that Sonic was afraid of telling them, no sir, he just…forgot to tell them…quite often.
In truth, Sonic was not sure how they would react to it. They were both very kind people and definitely a lot better of a family than he was expecting. But, even so, they already had an alien hedgehog for a kid. What would they think if he turned out to be another type of different from them?
They’d kick you out of the house, that’s what.
Sonic’s quills bristled.
No, no, no, no, no. They wouldn’t…
His hands were gripping the paper of the notebook hard.
They…they love me, they wouldn’t do that.
Yeah. But so did other parents with gay kids.
Sonic had (over)heard stories of kids whose parents kicked them out after coming out of the closet. He at first hoped that the parents who did kick their kids out were already terrible parents before doing so. But no, there were many who did love their kids. The only thing that made them disown their kids was loving someone who was the same gender or not being a girl or boy like they thought.
And if they do that with you, where will you go?
Sonic felt his heart sink right there.
Earth had always been his planet.
Green Hills was always his home.
Where would he go if not here?
Who would he turn to if not…
If they…
“Sonic?” Maddie called.
Sonic jumped at the sound of Maddie’s voice. Being brought back to earth, he finally noticed the paper straining and tearing under his thumbs as well as the burning smell coming behind him.
“Sonic, you up there?”
Sonic swallowed. Words seemed to be lost for him.
“Sonic?”
He swallowed again.
“Y-yeah?” he answered, stuttering.
“We’re going to have pizza tonight,” she called. “You want to help with the toppings later?”
Pizza. Making dinner. Together.
Together.
Safe. Warm. Loved.
Loved.
I don’t want to lose this.
I don’t want to lose this.
I don’t want to-
“Honey? You there?”
Another swallow.
“Y-yeah, sounds great, Maddie.” He said, still stuttering.
“You okay up there, Sonic?” Maddie called again, sounding worried.
“Yeah, j-just- I’m good!” He couldn’t speak without the wavering stutters.
Maddie didn’t call again.
Good. Good.
Sonic looked back down at the tearing paper.
If he told them, one of two things could happen.
Outcome one was that they would still accept him as their kid and still let him live with them as family, indefinitely.
Outcome two…they wouldn’t stand for it. Wouldn’t stand having a son who liked boys under their roof. Wouldn’t want a boy who might want a boyfriend to be in their family.
They wouldn’t take it.
They wouldn’t take him.
Sonic dropped the sides of the notebook and held his face in his hands.
The risk was so much. He couldn’t do this. He couldn’t risk losing the place where he felt safe. Where he could sleep without worry. Where he didn’t have to hide. But he was still hiding a part of himself from everyone. From Tom and Maddie. But if he told them, what would happen to him? Would they kick him out? Let him live with them but leave their relationship damaged? Would they send him out? Back to living on his-
Sonic started quietly sobbing. His body shook. He could feel his power and tried to hold it in, the tightness in his chest making it hard to focus.
I don’t want to…I don’t want to…
Sonic looked through his fingers at the notebook.
He picked it up.
The scribbles and lines crossing and tangling on the page irritated his mind and seemed to taunt him. What kind of powerful alien couldn’t even come out to his own family?
He turned to a blank page.
Let’s try this again.
He put pencil to paper. And tried to write.
Mom, Dad, I need to tell you something
Sonic stared at those words.
It was still weird, considering them as his parents. But even so, it seemed to come out on paper…somewhat naturally.
I don’t want to…
He attempted more words on the paper.
There’s something about me I think you should know
His pencil paused there.
What would he say? He didn’t even know what label he was.
Maybe just ‘I like boys’ and leave it at that-
I don’t want to see you in this house ever again.
He flinched as the harsh sentence shot through his mind. As it faded, it rang with the sound of Maddie’s voice.
I won’t have a son like you under my roof.
It happened again. But with Tom’s voice.
Sonic smacked his face. No, no, no! They wouldn’t say those things to you, they aren’t-
Shouldn’t’ve brought you into our home.
Are you trying to piss us off?
You’re not going to be a part of this family if you keep being a-
Sonic smacked himself again.
The thoughts seemed to bounce and ricochet in his head, terrible, hateful words he couldn’t truly imagine even coming out of the Wachowski’s mouths.
Sonic stared down, teary-eyed, at the start of the letter, reading the sentence again.
There’s something about me I think you should know.
That sentence and what it led up to could either change his life so little or destroy and corrupt it in one fell swoop.
He started softly moving the pencil up and down to cover the message.
Then he started moving it faster, more vigorously.
He’d never be accepted by them. What the hell was he thinking? They’d accept an alien for a…a son, but not if it got more different from them than that.
The scribbling got faster and faster. The paper was starting to cave under the pencil.
Why did he ever think he’d be fully accepted for who he really was? He was just…just…
A stupid little-
The paper gave out and tore at the tip of the pencil, leaving a long slash in the page.
And the trance broke.
He slowly processed what he did, breathing hard.
Slowly, he closed the book.
And flung it across the room.
It landed with a thud near the attic door entrance on the floor. It fell open to the drawings he had made.
Even from far away, he could see the patterns of colors he had used.
Blue, pink, white, pink, blue.
Magenta, purple, blue.
Pink, yellow, blue.
Yellow, white, purple, black.
Black, grey, white, purple.
Red, orange, yellow, green, blue, purple.
Sonic just stared at them for a minute, glaring.
I’m an idiot.
The tears come through, hot and flooding his vision.
He hunched his back and held his face in his hands. Sobs fought to be heard as he held them back.
I can’t be here.
He shifted off the bed and stood up, wiping his eyes.
I don’t belong.
I can’t belong.
Not if they might just…
A gust of wind.
And the blue devil was nowhere to be found.