Chapter Text
The next time Thomas woke up it was still dark. Either he had just slept for an hour or a whole day... Or longer. He sat up slowly. The headache was still there but he felt marginally better.
For a moment he didn't think about Stiles. For a moment he didn't exist and Thomas was just himself. Then he remembered. Scott and Lydia, his friends who were all beasts and the Sheriff who looked at Thomas like he was his son.
He laid back down again, staring at the ceiling. "Stiles Stilinski." Thomas mumbled the name to himself, testing it out. "Stiles." Thomas couldn't identify himself with whoever Stiles used to be.
A part of him still refused to believe all of this. A desperate part. But it was steadily growing smaller. Newt had been right. Once they explained it, he believed them. That didn't mean that he could just be the guy they lost again.
Thomas sat up again with a huff. Laying around here wouldn't help him at all and he didn't feel like falling asleep again. So he got out of bed. Someone had reconnected him to an IV and as much as Thomas wanted to believe that he was save here, he didn't really trust them and he wouldn't be pumped up with something without his consent. So he removed the needle again.
Thomas wasn't sure what the plan had been when he left his hospital room. If he was going to search for his friends or just notify someone that he was awake. It didn't come to either of that. As soon as he opened his door he found a certain strawberry blond dozing in one of the seats in the hallway.
"Lydia? ", He asked instinctively and the girl jerked awake.
"Oh Sti- Thomas... What time is it?", She asked before yawning and stretching a little. Her hair was a little messy and her make up was smudged but she was still gorgeous.
"I don't know but judging by the lack of sunlight? Late.", Thomas replied, leaning against the door frame. "What are you doing here?", He then asked and it wasn't supposed to sound like an accusation even though it probably did.
"I- am guarding your door.", Lydia admitted and Thomas tried to not feel too paranoid about that.
"Because you're scared that I'll run away?", He asked and again, it wasn't his intention to sound offended but he might have.
"No. We're not... Keeping you here.", Lydia quickly clarified, shaking her head. " I'm just worried that someone will take you again- it's- sorry- it's dumb- I should go.", She then stuttered before getting up and packing her things. To Thomas' own surprise he didn't want her to leave.
"No, it's not dumb. ", He said and Lydia froze, looking at him. Her face looked like a question mark. "Do you want to come in?", He then asked and her expression turned a little brighter.
"If you don't mind.", She said stepping towards the door, following Thomas inside. He sat down on his bed and she took a seat across from him on a chair. Thomas eyed the large duffle bag she was carrying around but didn't question it for now.
"How are you doing?", Lydia asked after a long awkward moment of silence. Thomas noticed that she rarely looked at him for longer than a few seconds which was concerning. He knew that things before his disappearance had been bad, whatever that ment. It had probably something to do with that.
Thomas thought about her question for a moment. He didn't exactly know how to answer. He himself had no idea how to feel or how he was doing so he just settled on describing the situation. "Well, I still feel like I'm going to pass out, even though I'm pretty sure that I slept for a day. I'm also having an identity crisis and I'm trying to process that the guy I like can apparently turn into a coyote."
"You mean Newt. ", Lydia remarked, ignoring the rest of what he said. She sounded weird when she said it, but Thomas didn't know her well enough to place what it was.
"Yeah. So all in all I'm doing stellar.", He added sarcastically and the corners of Lydia's mouth twitched as if she was about to smile but then she didn't. She just glued here eyes to the floor.
"What happened to me, Lydia?", He then asked, because he needed to know. He needed to know why the people that claimed to be his family couldn't look him in the eyes. "What happened that was so bad that both you and Scott can barely look at me?"
Lydia looked up at him and Thomas could tell that it was on purpose now. Like she was trying to disprove him.
"You were kidnapped by crazy hunters and were gone for a year. We thought you might be dead.", She replied. It was the obvious answer. That didn't mean it was the truth, though. Thomas was pretty sick of not knowing the truth.
"That's not it.", He said, shaking his head.
Lydia gave him a withering look but he refused to back down. He needed to know. Eventually she gave in. "You were possessed by an evil fox spirit called the Nogitsune. It had complete control over you and it killed several people, including two of our friends. Then you disappeared without a trace and now you seem to be you again but you also aren't human anymore and we just... We're not sure how much of it is left in you.", She explained and now her weariness around him made a whole lot more sense.
He had been the bad thing- he- he had killed people- friends. Thomas struggled to process it. Part of him knew that it hadn't really been him, or Stiles, or whoever the fuck but the idea that he still had something else inside of him, something that could take control, it was disturbing.
"Okay... Right. That makes more sense now. How do you know that anything of it is left at all?",he asked because he needed to know. Maybe he had been locked in his own mind for a reason. Maybe he was dangerous.
"Wait... I'll show you.", Lydia said, solidifying his fear that something was definitely wrong with him. She took out her phone and took a picture of him with her flash turned on. Then she showed it to him. Thomas didn't recognize himself, there were no mirrors in the glade so he didn't really know what he looked like. But that wasn't the most interesting part of the photo anyways. It was the bright orange aura around him that looked like a fox.
"What's that?", He asked, his throat suddenly tight.
"The fox spirit.", Lydia replied. She seemed to notice that Thomas was freaked out because she quickly added:" That doesn't have to mean anything bad though. Our friend Kira is also a fox spirit and she's good. They aren't always evil."
That didn't really help Thomas though. Because the spirit that had taken him over had been evil. So whatever this was, it had to be evil, too. "So how do you know that I'm not still... possessed?", He asked, hoping for a calming answer.
"We're kind of just hoping you're not?", Lydia admitted which was the opposite of what Thomas wanted to hear.
"Is there a way you can make sure?", He asked, trying to not let his own anxiety show.
"Yes but you're not ready for it yet. You need to recover a bit before we let the Oni test you. ", Lydia explained.
"The Oni? "
"Yeah, demon warriors but when the Nogitsune first became a problem they were used to test us all out to see if we were possessed.", She went on and Thomas nodded along as if this wasn't absolutely insane.
"Let me guess, I didn't pass the test.", He stated. It wasn't really a question since the answer was obvious but Lydia still shook her head.
"No."
"What if it's still there?", He asked next. Would that make him the enemy again? Would that mean more tests and prisons and pain?
"Then we'll figure something out. We'll fix it.", Lydia said and Thomas was surprised how genuine she seemed. He wanted to believe her but he couldn't. Not yet. Not entirely.
"I've got something for you.", She suddenly said and she reached for the mysterious duffle bag she brought. Lydia picked it up, got out of her seat and dumped the bag at the end of Thomas' bed before zipping it open. "Your dad- Sheriff Stilinski brought some of your things over for you. Maybe they will help you remember.", she went on to explain as she started to pull out different objects.
"First, some of your clothes that you can change into once you get sick of the scrubs.", She said, handing Thomas a stack of shirts and sweatpants.
"Already did. Thanks.", He smirked before starting to look through the clothes. The shirts had logo's and names on them that he didn't recognize but he could imagine them to be far more comfortable than the hospital scrubs he was still wearing.
"Here's our bestiary.", Lydia then said, handing Thomas a big leather bound book with golden lettering. " It's a book filled with all the supernatural beings we know of. ", She explained as Thomas paged through it. It looked like something ancient but still brand new, it looked like it belonged in a museum but also like it just got printed.
*Your lacrosse jersey.", Lydia continued. Thomas didn't know what lacrosse was but he took a look at the jersey anyways. It was dark red and had the name Stilinski and the number 24 on the back.
"These are pictures from your room. ", Lydia then started to pull out picture frames and that's when it got a little too much to handle. Because Thomas had just seen his face for the first time, and now it was staring back at him from several pictures. Thomas, or Stiles, posing with Scott, both wearing those red shirts. Stiles and the Sheriff wearing matching blue caps that had an orange NY embroided on them. Stiles and a group of people, including Scott and Lydia. Stiles in a suit and Lydia in a dress, holding hands. It was all him, or it used to be. He used to have this entire life that he knew nothing about. He used to be this kid in the pictures, with the sparkling eyes and big goofy grin. And now that kid was gone. And Thomas was all that was left.
He looked at the last picture frame but it didn't hold a photo this time. It was a drawing, a pencil sketch of a tree, that past-Stiles had framed for some reason.
"A tree?", He asked, looking up at Lydia.
"Yeah, I drew that. I didn't know you kept it until we searched your room. ", She admitted and a soft blush formed around her cheeks. Thomas looked at her and tried to conjure some sort of memory. An image of Lydia that went beyond his vague feeling of familiarity. It didn't work, he saw nothing. Whatever Wicked had done to him, they did their job well.
"Lydia... I can't just be the guy you lost again. I'm not Stiles, I'm sorry...",Thomas tried to explain. Because he could see that she was hopeful. She brought all this stuff because she was hoping that it might trigger something in him. But Thomas couldn't give that to her. He couldn't make himself remember. No matter how hard he tried to.
"We don't expect you to be. ", Lydia replied, not missing a beat. It sounded genuine but Thomas could tell that she was disappointed. Now he was the one that couldn't look at her anymore.
His eyes wandered down, back towards the duffle bag. There was only one thing left in there and Thomas didn't wait for her to pull it out, reaching for it himself instead.
"A bat? ", He asked once he pulled it out, giving Lydia a questioning look.
"Yeah. Your weapon of choice. ", The girl smirked.
"Really? Werewolfs and dark spirits and whatnot and I chose a bat?", Thomas asked, daring to smile a little as well.
"I mean, it worked pretty well, considering that you're still alive.", Lydia pointed out, making Thomas chuckle.
They fell back into silence after that. Thomas looked at all the things she brought. Remnants of the life he used to have. His eyes got stuck on the picture of him and Lydia, holding hands... Like a couple would.
Thomas wanted to ask her, he wanted to know what they had been to each other. But at the same time he wasn't sure if he'd be able to handle the answer.
"Were we close? You and I?", He asked instead, both hoping for an honest but also vague answer.
"Yes.", Lydia nodded, leaving no room for doubt.
"Then tell me about myself?", Thomas asked her. "Tell me about Stiles."
So Lydia did. She told him stories about a boy that was intelligent and funny and entirely human. A boy who was so curious that he dragged his best friend out into the woods in the middle of the night to see see a dead body. A boy that noticed how smart Lydia was when nobody else did. A boy that came up with all the plans even though they didn't always work in the ways that they expected. A boy that saw patterns and clues everywhere, who knew when something wasn't right and who wanted to fix it. A boy that sacrificed himself to save his father, a boy that got himself locked up to protect his friends, a boy that would've rather died than hurt his friends.
Lydia told Thomas about who he used to be until the sun went up and even if he didn't feel like he got any closer to being that boy again, Thomas felt like maybe he wanted to become him some day.