Chapter Text
When they had made another complete trip around the the palace and were unsuccessful at finding Bumi, Aang and Katara returned to their room. When the door closes behind her, Katara turns on Aang.
“I kept telling you to take care of this,” she says coldly.
“You’re going to make this my fault? He had a fight with Izumi. Why is it my fault?”
“He and Izumi get along beautifully. I’ve been telling you for two months that you needed to talk with him, and now that hurt he feels is affecting his other relationships!!”
“Bumi wasn’t open to it, and you weren’t backing me up!”
“Backing you up? Are you kidding me?” she asks incredulously. “Who stayed at home alone with our kids while you went on missions or days long trips into the Spirit World or taught Air Acolytes how to meditate? Who was there beside you when you tried to bring back a culture from the brink of extinction? I have always backed you up,” she says pointing a finger at him. “And it hasn’t even always been you! When Mai died and Izumi was really sick, I came here with little Bumi to take care of her and Zuko, and Bumi on top of them. When Kanto left Toph when she got pregnant, it was me who helped her get everything ready for Lin. I have always put down everything and helped when people need me! Spirits, I even gave up becoming chief for you! I am not going to sit here and let you tell me that I don’t have your back, because I always have. But, you can’t run away from this or he will end up resenting you for the rest of his life,” she says furiously. She’s almost yelling at him, but then she stops and a tear rolls down her cheek. She looks defeated and disappointed. “I know you’re the Avatar, but you promised me we’d be in this together. I can do a lot, but I can’t do everything.”
Katara looks at him with anger and hurt in her eyes. The way she stands with her clenched reminds him of when she was 18 and he was 16, and she broke up with him for awhile . Right after their break up, her father asked her to go to the Fire Nation for some diplomacy work. Aang had been miserable. To try to help him feel better, Sokka and Suki invited him to visit Toph’s metal bending school, and Suki had given him some of the best advice of his life...
“I’m pretty sure Toph could will herself to bend the other three elements if she tried hard enough,” Suki says they watched Toph work with her metal bending students.
“ Don’t give her any ideas,” Aang says, “then I’d be out of the one thing I’m good for.”
“Was it that bad?” Suki asks. Of course Aang knew exactly what she was referring to.
Aang sighs. “She said I don’t support her. That I expect her to give up everything for me, and that I don’t see her.”
“Hmmm, that must have been hard to hear,” Suki says empathetically.
“She said, ‘you are in love with the idea of me” I mean, what am I supposed to say to that? Of course I am, she’s perfect!” Aang takes a deep breath. “And then she conveniently gets appointed Ambassador to the Fire Nation so she gets so busy there, and she can do so many things she wants to do…and she can do them because she’s not with me. I don’t want her to think our relationship was a waste of time.”
Suki offers him a sad smile. “She would never. She adores you, Aang. But even when two people love each other dearly, it doesn’t mean they are good partners for each other.”
“Are you saying I was a bad boyfriend?” he says.
“No, and don’t put words in my mouth,” Suki says. “Some people just aren’t always good partners for each other. Like, look at Zuko and Mai. They adore each other. But Mai didn’t want to be with someone who couldn’t take care of himself, and she told Zuko that. So she left for a while so that he could get his bearings and figure what he needed to do to be a good Fire Lord and a good boyfriend.”
“So…I was a bad boyfriend?” Aang asks again.
“No Aang, you just weren’t what she needed right now, and it’s no fault of your own unless you honestly did not try,” Suki says. She puts a hand on his shoulder in an empathetic gesture. “You have to stop thinking like you were a failure. You’ve learned how to be a better friend to her. And, you can be mindful of this lesson in your next relationship.”
“But what’s it matter if we’re not together?”
“Aang, come on. If the only thing that mattered was that you were ‘together’ then that’s not enough,” Suki says.
“So what, if Sokka decided you weren’t good together you’d be fine if he left you?”
“Of course I wouldn’t be fine, but that’s why I work hard every day to make sure he feels loved. I let him know that he matters, and not just to me, and that he can mess something up and I’ll be there to help him fix it. And if what I give him doesn’t satisfy what he needs out of a partner, I would rather him leave and find someone who will make him happy than him stay with me. I would feel bad because I can’t be enough for him. It would be a vicious cycle, and we’d just end up resenting each other.”
Something about her statement clicks for Aang. “So it was better to just cut the losses,” he says. “And that way we can still be friends.”
“I think you’re catching on,” Suki smiles. “Plus, you never know what will happen in the future. Maybe in a few years, you’ll be exactly what she needs, and she’ll be exactly what you need. Not that it wouldn’t be hard work, but maybe you’ll be good partners in the future.”
“Thank you, Suki. This really helped,” Aang says.
“Anything for you, kid. Come on, let’s go find Sokka, I’m starving.”
Aang smiles, Suki is exactly what Sokka needed.
"Its no fault of your own unless you didn’t try.”
“I’ll find him. I’ll make this better. I promise,” he says walking towards her. She lets him wrap his arms around her and hold her to him. He presses a kiss to her temple. “I love you.”
“I love you too,” she whispers. Her gaze follows him until the door closes behind him, and for the first time in a long time, it isn’t a sight that makes her angry.
———————————————————————————————————
“Alright, now I do have work to do, so unless you plan on helping me, I am going to have to ask you to leave. I have to take care of a few things before I go to the insufferable ladies luncheon that gets put on every year for Izumi’s birthday.”
“I could assist you,” Bumi offers. “What do you have to do?”
“Security,” she answers. “Having guests in the palace puts Zuko and Izumi in a bit more of a precarious situation than I prefer.”
“Why is someone trying to kill them or something?” Bumi asks.
“Nothing has happened in a while but that’s because I am diligent.” She gets up from her desk. “Come along, I hear you’re quite the strategic mind yourself, you can help me solve the last problem I have to figure out.” Azula moved to lock the door to her office, at which Bumi raises his brow quizzically.
“Tunnels,” she explains. “I don’t like being stopped in the hallways.” Bumi moves the piece of furniture that blocked his original entrance and follows Azula.
When the stone door closes behind them, Azula lights her palm. Bumi had seen Azula’s fire before on trips to the Fire Nation, but he had never seen it so up close. It was so many different colors, almost like stained glass.
“It’s called Dragon Fire,” Azula says. “When I was a teenager I could bend blue flames. I came to find out, fire benders are not supposed to bend fire that hot without special training. As a result, I lost my bending. It took a lot of healing, but when I was ready, my brother took me to the fire bending masters, and they taught me how to bend again, and then I was able to make these colorful dragon fire flames.”
“How did you lose your bending?” he asks. The only way he knew for people to lose their bending was his father’s avatar powers.
“Turns out, fire benders can quite literally burn themselves out.”
“That’s the self destruction you were talking about?”
“Very perceptive, Master Bumi,” she says. “Ahh, here we are.” Azula pushes on the stone and lets Bumi pass through the secret doorway before she exits herself. Bumi realizes they are close to the courtyard and festival space where Izumi’s party would later be held. Azula leads him into the center of the courtyard. He quickly does a turn around the scan the area. It’s bustling with staff who are setting up the tables and lanterns for the evening festivities.
“Guards are posted there, there, there, and there,”Azula says pointing to the four different locations. It’s a post at the main entrance, one at the back entrance, and one at each side entrance.
“What about the galleries?” Bumi asks immediately.
Azula smirks, “Smart, but that’s where I watch so that’s covered. No guests will be permitted up there without the Fire Lord’s approval.”
“Uncle Zuko will be on a dias, yes?”
“Yes with two Kyoshi warriors stationed there, and there,” she says pointing.
“Well it seems covered, especially with my dad, my mom, Aunt Toph, Uncle Sokka, and Aunt Suki all being here, so what’s the last issue you couldn’t work out?” Bumi asks.
“Poison” she answers. “Zuko and Izumi are fantastic fighters. I don’t have to worry as much about someone poisoning Zuko because he knows his safety protocol and he isn’t really one to socialize anyway, so it’s unlikely he will get something that has not passed through his layers of security.” She walks to the center of the courtyard, scanning the surroundings once again. “I know Izumi could take out a small army by herself because I trained her. And what she can’t do with fire bending, she can throw shuriken precisely enough to pin flies to a wall. When she’s in a fight, she’s almost undefeatable. So if anyone was trying to kill Izumi, they’d do it with poison. Since I’ll be spending most of the party of up there, I’ll have a dragon’s eye view of what happens on the courtyard grounds, but it will be difficult to keep track of everything.”
“Well if I am supposed to be Izumi’s special guest or whatever, why don’t I monitor on the ground? I’ll be on the ground and close to her the whole night. If I think something is suspicious, I’ll take Izumi’s cup or her food.”
“After you get in an argument with Izumi, the heir to the throne of the Fire Nation, you think that I would allow you to do poison control?” Azula asks, almost harshly.
Bumi looks shocked, “I’m upset with her but I’m not going to let someone hurt her!”
“You’re the son of two cultures against whom my people, whom my family represents, committed genocide and countless other atrocities. I’ve seen first hand the anger you hold since you have visited here so often, and I just saw you have an angry outburst at breakfast not even an hour ago, after you had an argument with her last night. Again, explain to me why I can trust you to protect Izumi.”
“I am not angry” Bumi whispers harshly, stressing every word. “I am not an angry person.”
“Then what are you?”
“I’m not angry…I’m just…” he stops for a beat. “I’m just lonely,” he says, his voice trailing off.
“And was it Izumi that made you feel lonely?”
“Maybe,” he says crossing his arms and letting his gaze fall to the cobblestone ground.
“So again, explain to me why I can trust you with Izumi’s life.”
In the silence between her question and Bumi’s answer, Aang finds himself on the galleries lining the courtyard.
“I don’t know what to tell you besides that I would do whatever I had to for her, just like I would for Tenzin,” Bumi says. “And Kya. Whatever they need, I would do in a heartbeat,” he adds.
Azula gives him a look, silently urging him to continue. Recognizing his son’s voice, Aang listens over the railing, hoping Bumi and Azula will not notice him.
“Tenzin is just as much an heir as Izumi is,” Bumi continues. “Tenzin’s the only Airbender born in over a century. He has a legacy to inherit, and its an unspoken understanding for Kya and me that Tenzin always comes first. If there’s a life or death situation and Tenzin’s in danger, the ultimate priority is Tenzin’s safety. Maybe not as much as Tenzin and Izumi, but Kya’s an heir too. There aren’t many fully Southern waterbenders, so she’s under a lot of pressure.”
Aang’s shoulders drop. When did he ever tell his two oldest that they would have to give up everything for Tenzin? When did Bumi get the idea that he had to take on the mantle of a protector? Had he really made them think they were expendable? And when did Bumi and Azula get so close?
“It is safe to assume that Tenzin does not live under the same expectation?”
“...He’s ten…”
“I was raised by a war lord to be a super weapon child solider, and your dad became a fully realized avatar at 12. You and I do not have the same inherent understanding of the relationship between age and ability.”
“Umm then no, Tenzin doesn’t have the same expectation. But he’s little, it would be unfair to expect anything else from him.” Bumi explains confusedly.
Azula regards Bumi for a moment. She’s made him vulnerable, and he’s clearly uncomfortable airing his thoughts like this. However, he is still honest, and she admires that about him. “Is that the source of the loneliness?” Azula asks, her voice becoming a little softer.
“Spirits, is this therapy?” Bumi asks, exasperation obvious in his voice.
Azula laughs, genuinely. “Oh no, that’s worse,” she says jokingly, and Bumi chuckles. “At the end of firebender therapy you dance for your life in front of two monstrously sized dragons.”
“What is wrong with the Fire Nation?”
At that, Azula laughs again. In the corner of her eye, she catches the swatch of yellow clothes up on the gallery. She and Aang make the briefest of eye contact before her gaze falls back to Bumi. Bumi glances to where she looked, and he catches the sad expression on Aang’s face.
“I have a luncheon to get to, but stop by my office again around 4 to go over the details of your position, hmm?”
“Sure thing,” he says without looking away from his dad.
“Remember what I said about being open to being helped. It’s hard to get better unless you are.”
Azula turns on her heel and leaves the courtyard.
———————————————————————————
Azula walks to Zuko’s office before going to find Izumi and Kiyi for the luncheon.
“I swear to Agni, if she ever hurts that boy’s feelings again, we’re sending her to stay with that wretched Earth Princess in Ba Sing Se for a month!”