Chapter Text
“I’ll never understand this place,” Gordon exasperatedly breathed on his way out of the Pita Cutter room. “It will never--I--I do not get how the government funded a room like that. Just… why? Why. I don’t get it.”
“Black Mesa whole grain pita bread is a very important part of your daily nutrients!” Coomer happily walked on ahead of Gordon, that same smile he got whenever he got the chance to teach someone something creeping onto his face. “It’s loaded with fiber, helps manage diabetes, and assists in combating constipation! You’re not ever really fully dressed without one of these babies in your pocket.”
“Black Mesa’s sure worried a lot about my health for a company who literally puts my life on the fucking line every single day.”
“It’s important to stay healthy, Gordon!”
“He doesn’t need the carbs,” Bubby interjected.
“Wh--!” Gordon glared. “What’s that supposed to mean?!”
“Oh look!” Tommy interrupted. “There’s--There’s people up ahead!”
“They can wait,” Gordon said. “Are you seriously trying to call me fat, dude? I-It’s just bulk. I’m fuckin’ ripped--! Out of all you guys I’m--well, wait. No, uh... Dr. Coomer’s actually pretty fit. What’s with that?”
“A pita bread a day keeps the fat at bay!” Dr. Coomer chimed.
“I don’t know if--” Gordon cut himself off at the sight of the two men up ahead that Tommy had been referring to. His heart skipped an anxious beat once his gaze locked onto the purple shirts and matching helmets, Gordon stopping that train of thought before he could spiral.
All the guards here had the same uniforms. It could be anyone. Probably just a bunch of nobodies.
“Please,” Gordon whispered to himself. “Please please please. Please, if there’s a god please for the love of fuck don’t have it be who I think it’s gonna be…”
He slowly approached the two guards, the rest of the Science Team naturally falling behind him. Usually Gordon wouldn’t want to be stepping forward with only his one hand, but he had a feeling he knew how this interaction was going to end.
“No no no,” Gordon whined, walking up behind them to get their attention. “No no, please no…”
The guard on the left turned around and Gordon was relieved to not recognize their face. The second guard, he heard their voice first before he could get a good look at them.
“Someone straight took a dump--”
Before Gordon could let out a frustrated groan, Bubby ran up beside him.
“Look out, Gordon--It’s Benrey!” Gordon couldn’t even bother to flinch when Bubby stuffed the guard on the left full of bullets, their lifeless body slumping to the ground.
“--in the last room,” Benrey finished, looking over at the dead body next to him.
“I got him!” Bubby laughed triumphantly, walking over the now-bloody tile.
“We can’t kill him,” Gordon breathed. He swore his hair was going to be grey by the time they got out of this place. He could practically feel the stress crawling down his throat and settling in his gut. “He’s not dead, man. He can’t die.”
“Fine shooting,” Dr. Coomer cheerily congratulated Bubby.
“Why won’t he die…”
“Gordon, he’s right here on the floor,” Dr. Coomer said like it was the most obvious thing in the world. “Dead as a doornail!”
“Sure, sure,” Gordon sighed, running his good hand through his hair. He looked back up at Benrey with a tired look, the guard simply staring back at him with a calm expression.
“Hey, man,” Benrey softly greeted. “How’s it goin’? Get, uh… stackin’ up a pretty good KD ratio? Gettin’ them kills?”
“How do you think it’s going?” Gordon asked, giving him an exasperated shoulder shrug. “Fucken sucks man. And no, I’m not--I-It’s not like I can really kill anyone like this. Got no fucken arm. One armed Gordon.”
“Damn,” Benrey frowned. “That-That does suck, man. What happened to your arm?”
Gordon could’ve choked him if he had the energy to.
“Dude, I am not in the mood to play this game. I’m--” Gordon cut himself short, glancing off to the side. It was a little too quiet all of the sudden.
Just as he suspected, he saw the rest of the Science Team standing in a neat line behind him, intently watching him and Benrey talk. As soon as Gordon spotted them, they all comically looked away and began whistling in unison, pretending as if they weren’t just eavesdropping.
Reluctantly, Gordon could feel his face turn red. Everyone in the room currently knew about whatever the hell was going on between Gordon and Benrey, except for Benrey. Hell, maybe Benrey even knew at this point. He wouldn’t put it past one of these fuckers to drag Benrey into a corner and say something like “lol, gordon totally has the hots for you man aha might wanna be careful or he’ll kiss you” or something equally stupid.
At the thought, Gordon went from embarrassed to angry very quickly.
“Let’s go,” Gordon demanded, taking a step away from Benrey. “I wanna get the fuck out of this place. We can’t afford to stand around anymore.”
“Finally,” Bubby rolled his eyes. “Now you’re actually speaking sense. Let’s get a move on!”
Gordon was relieved to see it worked: everyone ran on ahead without another word.
Except Benrey, of course.
He stayed planted in place, looking over at Gordon with the same blank expression he always wore.
“What have you been up to then, huh?” Gordon asked, mostly just to break the awkward silence. “You go ahead and disappear without even saying anything--where do you go?”
Benrey shrugged, finally glancing away. “Was just… doin’ my job, man. Guarding. Being Security--securing the. Securing the premises. Keeping people like you from-from stealing. Bet you stole a whole bunch since I wasn’t here to watch ya, huh? Little--Little Butterfingers Stealman, over here. Thieving shit.”
Gordon clenched his fist and grit his teeth, but forced himself not to say anything.
“Let’s just fucken go, man.” Gordon continued on ahead down the hallway, relishing in the few seconds of beautiful silence. He was usually really good at working in groups--before this, Gordon was a really big people person. He’d always greet everyone on his way into work, walk down the halls of Black Mesa with a big smile on his face. After all of this, however, Gordon wasn’t sure he’d ever want to speak to another person again. He would be fine going the rest of his life huddled up in his room playing video games.
Gordon was startled from his thoughts when Benrey was suddenly right beside him, walking in time. He didn’t say anything, but he was about 3 paces too close to Gordon for him to be comfortable.
“Could you back up, man?” Gordon asked. Forgive him for not wanting physical contact at the moment due to every cell in his body currently being on fire.
“Gotta watch ya,” was all Benrey said in reply.
Gordon opened his mouth to talk, but then thought back to the talk that he and Tommy had.
If Tommy was right, Benrey really was doing all of this specifically just to get a rise out of him. So, maybe if Gordon just let him do his thing, he might really cut it out. He just had to stop humouring the man. Which was easier said than done, especially now that Gordon was three times more irritable than usual due to a serious case of Lack of Arm. It wouldn’t be easy, but it honestly seemed like the only choice at this point. Plus, if Gordon ignored him, maybe the rest of the Science Team would finally leave him alone about this whole ‘love’ bullshit.
With that mentality in mind, Gordon just nodded. “Yeah, okay. Whatever, man.” Gordon almost expected him to argue, but Benrey didn’t say another word. They walked down the hall together side by side until they caught up with the rest of the team, Bubby immediately shouting at Gordon for taking so long.
They went through the next room with relatively no problems--Bubby found a stray scientist up ahead who had a key on him to get them through to the next area. Gordon was so stuck up in his own thoughts that he almost didn’t notice when everything around him froze in place.
He blinked a few times to make sure he was seeing correctly--Dr. Coomer was stuck mid-running, both of his feet hovering above the ground; Bubby was standing in front of the door, his hand held straight in the air in front of him; Tommy stood close by, a worried look on his face; the scientist they found was hovering his keycard just above the slot next to the door. Gordon jerked his head to the side to see that Benrey was stuck in place next to him as well, his eyes staring forward blankly. Gordon took a moment to look into those eyes of his, even now his dead expression unreadable.
“Dr. Freeman.” Gordon jumped at the sound of a deep, grating voice coming from behind him, slowly turning around to see a strange man in a suit carrying a briefcase. He immediately recognized him as the man he kept seeing around that the rest of the team never seemed to notice. It was a nice confirmation that Gordon was a little less insane than he thought.
...Unless this was all just a hallucination too which meant that he was much more insane than he thought.
The suited man smiled, slightly adjusting his tie.
“Gordon Freeman,” he greeted. “It is good to see you and your companions in such good spirits. I’d offer to shake your hand, but it seems you’re a little… lacking, in that department now, hm?”
Gordon glanced down at his hand, slightly glaring at the smug look on this man's face. He wanted to say something back but honestly he had no idea how to reply to any of this.
“I realize,” the man continued. “The indiscretion of having a conversation at a time like this, but… I felt it was important to… talk to you properly before you go any further.” The man paused, his head slowly and deliberately turning to look right at Benrey. Gordon followed his gaze, looking Benrey over once.
“Okay,” Gordon breathed, his heart speeding up a little faster. “What is… happening? What’s going on?”
“The resonance cascade and its repercussions are merely the prelude to a scheme of events much… grander than you could comprehend. You’ve already faced impossible odds and your prospects going forward will only grow slimmer, and slimmer. Perhaps things would’ve gone a bit better if you’d remembered to bring your…. Pass, port? Hm?” Gordon couldn’t help but let out a small airy laugh at that. “There are some who would say that surrender is your only choice at this point, but I have a vested interest in seeing you succeed, Mr. Freeman. Which is why I will continue to offer you my support, as will, my associates, but the onus of survival, ultimately rests upon you.”
“Huh,” Gordon chuckled, nodding his head. “That’s… wow man, that’s a lot. I don’t--why--can I ask you something? A quick question, because I… I am having a hard time processing…. ALL of this.”
“I suppose I can spare some time…. but do make it relatively quick. I have a lot of business I need to, attend to.”
“Why me?” Gordon blurted out, emphasising the phrase with a dramatic hand gesture. “I-I’m just a scientist, dude! I-I don’t have any training. I mean, I had some training with the hev suit and everything but I-I’m gonna be honest with you: I still don’t know half of the shit this thing does. I took some-some shooting classes, but it was all very glossed over and professional. I’m. What I’m saying is like… I am the least qualified person in the world to be in charge of this stuff!” He paused to laugh. “I’m not a trained super warrior, I just have a PhD! I-I honestly have no fucking idea why I’m even still alive!”
“I think you misunderstand, Dr. Freeman,” the man replied calmly, like Gordon wasn’t shouting and wildly gesturing around the room. “You are not, Plan A. We did not choose you specifically to run the course of this mission--like I said it is all… very out of your field of understanding. You used to work at another branch of Black Mesa, yes?”
“Yeah,” Gordon nodded. “Everything was--was perfectly fine over there. No-No fucking passports needed to enter, all the guards were nice and the scientists weren’t insane! And there definitely weren’t any aliens! It was just… regular Black Mesa.”
“Things are a lot different here, Dr. Freeman,” the man said. “This branch of Black Mesa is, not like any other you will find. It may seem… strange on the surface, but there is much more than you even know… in the works. One day, you may, understand. For now, all you need to know is, it is of the utmost importance that you keep a, certain guard you know, very close.”
“...Benrey?” Gordon asked. “What--Oh my--I swear to God, if Benrey is the reason all of this--is he why all of this is happening?”
“Just know that a lot of this rests on, the love between you continuing to bloom.”
The laugh that erupted from Gordon surprised even himself--a loud, cackling, inhuman noise that had him falling back on his ass. He stayed down on the floor, covering his face and wheezing into his hands.
“You’re fucking with me, right?” Gordon asked once he calmed down. “This is--is this whole thing just a goddamn joke? What--did Benrey put you up to this? Did-Did Coomer and Bubby and Tommy hire some weird fucking timelord just to lecture me about loving some guy I met a few days ago? That’s funny, man! That’s funny! Are these guys really even frozen? Or-Or are they just standing really still for the affect?”
The man in the suit did not seem to find the situation as funny as Gordon did. No one in the room started moving again and the man did not join in on his laughter. After a few seconds, Gordon’s fit came to an abrupt stop.
“You’re not… You’re not joking, are you?” Gordon choked out.
“I am not,” the man said.
Gordon took a moment to sit himself up, standing back in front of the man.
“The relationship the two of you share, has been a key point in most of your… successes, throughout your journey. I am still in the works of figuring out some details, but, it is very important that you keep him… close.”
Gordon ran his good hand through his hair, letting out a long, shaky breath.
“Okay. Okay, fine,” Gordon said. “I guess if, fucken, everyone wants it… I’ll tolerate the guy. Not! Not love him. Because I don’t. I don’t love him. But I will make friends--reluctant friends.”
“Love, Gordon, is the glue that keeps this world together,” the man sighed, a small smile returning to his face. “It is, important, to embrace love where you can find it. These days, it is… hard to come by.”
“Whatever, man,” Gordon waved his hand dismissively. “Are--Are we done, here?”
“We will talk again soon, but… for now, yes, I leave the rest of the journey up to you. I hope you will, keep my words… in mind, hm?”
Gordon flashed the man a strained smile, nodding once. “Yeah. Sure.”
“Goodbye, Dr. Freeman.”
With a strange flash of light that had Gordon covering his eyes, everything around him went back to normal. Instead of everyone simply falling back into place, however, they were now all crowded around the front of him, giving him strange looks.
“Why are you just standing there?” Bubby asked, waving a hand in front of his face.
“Hello, Gordon?” Dr. Coomer asked, though much more confused than usual.
“Uhm.” Gordon cleared his throat, taking a step back. “Yeah, I’m… I’m fine. I guess.” Gordon really hoped that whole interaction really happened. Either that or it was a weird way of his brain also trying to tell him that he loved Benrey, and he wasn’t sure if that was worse or better than a timelord stopping time to tell him that apparently him surviving and escaping Black Mesa was of cosmic importance.
“Okay then,” Bubby said, walking back over to the scientist at the door. “Let’s get a move on, then!”
“Shake a leg!” Dr. Coomer agreed, hopping eagerly behind Bubby while the door began to open. Tommy followed close behind them, flashing Gordon a strange look before turning back around.
Gordon stared ahead for a moment, only coming back to reality when Benrey nudged him in the arm--his bad one.
“Ow!” Gordon shouted, glaring down at him. “What’s your fucken problem?”
“Making sure you didn’t, uh, go all cats and tonic on me. Freezeman over here.”
“Cats and… you… do you mean catatonic?”
“You tell me, Mister, fuckin’, PhD.”
“Jesus Christ, I’m--” Gordon cut himself off before he could argue more, taking in a deep breath. Okay. So he had to be nicer to Benrey. He could do this--easy peasy. He used to have to be nice to his dick boss over at his old branch of Black Mesa all the time, and he’d had some asshole teachers back in college. This wasn’t anything he hadn’t done before. He was a bit more irritable, due to being in severe pain and running on pure adrenaline and soda, but he could do this.
Be. Nice. To Benrey.