Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

The Catholic church has yet to release a statement regarding the situation at hand.  No other churches have released public statements yet, but there seems to be a consensus across the board from christianity to islam: werewolves are quite possibly people suffering from demonic possession.  Take that with a grain of salt, of course.  However, with shape shifters among us, who has reason to question the existence of demons?  Battles are taking place in some areas of the country, where church and state are fighting against each other.  Many state governments want to outlaw exorcisms as an attempt to heal these so called "werewolves," and the churches are simply saying, "Stay out of our business.  What we are doing is a family affair, not a government one."

Churches that remained steadfast in the recent rise of homosexuality are likely to hold negative positions on this new party's fight for their rights as well.  The Mormon Church says they are hosting a conference soon to figure out their stand on this new debacle.  An online blogger wrote that their pastor at a Missouri Synod Lutheran Church said in a sermon last Sunday, "If you find out that someone you are close to is participating in these dark activities, cast them from your life until they give themselves back to the Lord for healing."  The Seventh Day Adventist church warns us, "...these are the beasts the Good Book predicted."

It's not going to be an easy fight for these people.  I'm just waiting for the Westboro Baptist Church to start picketing court houses and wolf rallies with "God Hates Wolves" signs, so we know that they've really joined the party.

...

It was quieter than he was used to, the only sounds those of steady breathing from the other guys asleep in the apartment. Spencer’s bed was soft, but larger than Brendon’s at home, and it felt really empty. Everything felt foreign, and even though that day had been horrible and exhausting, he didn’t feel horrible or exhausted.  He felt fine, kind of upset, but mostly fine, and he was wide awake.

He rolled onto his side and looked around. The room was very ‘Spencer-like.’ There wasn’t any clutter, and everything was lined up nicely or stacked or put into order. The bed had been perfectly made when he’d first came into the room, and the only thing out of order was Brendon’s bags tossed lazily in the corner.

Brendon heard whispering, so he knew that someone else was up. It was probably Jon and Spencer, but Brendon decided to be polite and not eavesdrop. It would be bad, after they’d taken him in so quickly and taken care of him, to start being annoying and rude.  He had to be good if he wanted these guys to let him stay.

Still, he couldn’t sleep and he had school in… eight hours. It was only midnight, but it felt like later. The long walk in the dark from his house to the apartment had made the night seem to last forever, but it hadn’t actually been late when he’d gotten there. They’d talked for a few hours, and then Zack had ordered them all to bed, said they could figure everything out in the morning, but they needed to sleep first.

But Brendon couldn’t sleep, and it was driving him crazy. His brain felt panicky, and the rest of him felt twitchy. He was lucky, he reminded himself. Super lucky that he had a place to stay, and that Zack and Jon and Spencer were being so nice to him. Right after knocking on the door, Spencer had thrown it open, taken one look at him, and then dragged him inside. When Brendon had asked Zack if he could crash, just for a night, and then get out of their hair, Zack had squeezed his shoulder and said, “You’re part of the pack, kid. You can stay here forever, if you want to. Don’t think we’re letting you run off if you have no where to stay.” When Brendon had started crying for God-knows-what-reason, it had been a long day, Jon had pulled him into a hug and whispered really stupid dirty jokes to him until he was giggling too hard to keep crying.

He had been feeling okay, with all of them there distracting him, but now the apartment was quiet and Brendon was alone with his thoughts, and it sucked. Despite what had happened, Brendon wanted to be home. But that was just too bad, and he’d have to suck it up and get used to this. He listened to the sounds of Spencer and Jon whispering, until they faded away, and Brendon was pretty sure they had fallen asleep. Brendon himself didn’t pass out until 4 a.m., and even then, he didn’t get a lot of rest.

…

When he woke up in the morning, the first thing he thought was ‘bacon,’ because the apartment reeked of it, the scent floating through every room, potent enough to wake him up from a dream about Sir Elton John and a waterpark.

Brendon wasn’t even disappointed, actually, because when he got up and wandered into the kitchen, there was definitely bacon. Bacon and other things. His stomach growled.

Zack turned and grinned at him. “Good morning,”

“Morning,” Brendon said, sniffing the air and following his nose to a giant plate of bacon. He tried to take a piece, but Zack picked the plate up and set it on top of the refrigerator. Brendon pouted. Zack was totally blocking the fridge, and that just wasn’t fair. Didn’t he know that Brendon was a growing boy? A growing werewolf boy with needs? Needs for bacon. Lots and lots of bacon.

“Go wake Spencer,” Zack said, just as Jon stumbled sleepily into the kitchen and sagged down at the table, yawning and scratching the back of his neck, eyes barely open.

“Bacon? Zack, you do love me,” Brendon heard Jon mumble, while he ducked out of the kitchen and down the hall to where he smelled Spencer. When he opened the bedroom door, he saw a wolf cub curled up in the bed, half under the covers, squeezed haphazardly into Spencer’s pajamas. It looked silly, and Brendon couldn’t help but laugh out loud.

Spencer woke up, blinking his eyes open slowly and looking curiously at Brendon, before stretching his jaw wide in a yawn and then shifting. Human Spencer appeared where wolf Spencer had been and grinned, sleepily, sitting up and stretching his arms above his head.

“I smell bacon,” he said, voice heavy with sleep, as he tried to tug his clothes back into proper position, not all caddywhompus.

“Zack made breakfast,” Brendon explained, starting to fidget because he was really hungry. He hadn’t eaten dinner the night before, and if he didn’t eat soon, he was probably going to like, die, or something. Spencer got up out of bed and went into the kitchen, Brendon following close behind him, watching as Spencer stole the plate off the top of the fridge when Zack was focused on something else and shoving three pieces of bacon in his mouth. He tossed one to Brendon, who caught it and grinned, grateful.

“Give me that,” Zack grumbled, snatching the plate back and shooing Spencer and Brendon towards the table.

Jon was slumped onto the table, head down and nose smooshed against the cool wood, fogging it up with every breath. Spencer sat down next to him and ran his fingers through the hair on the back of Jon’s head while Zack set several plates of food down on the table. Brendon’s mouth started to water. He took the plate of bacon all to himself and was busy putting as much as he could manage onto his own plate.

“You and Spence can stay home from school today, but we have a few things to talk about,” Zack said, all business as he sat down at the table. “I guess we could start with talking about school.”

“Yeah? What about school?”

Bzzzzzzzzt. Bzzzzzzzzt. Bzzzzzzzt. They all turned their attention to the buzzing thing on the kitchen counter- Brendon’s cellphone. They seemed to be in a trance for a moment, no one blinking or moving or breathing, all attention focused on the phone, until Zack spoke.

“Are you going to answer that?”

Brendon knew there were only a certain number of people who could be calling him, and all of them were family, so. “No.”  He was honestly surprised that his parents hadn’t removed him from the phone plan yet.

Zack was staring at him carefully, but Brendon kept his head down and focused on eating. He was starving, and he didn’t feel like making eye contact or talking to people who didn’t want him, so….

“Alright… well,” Zack said. “What grade are you in?”

Brendon swallowed hard.  “Ninth.”

Zack nodded.  “The school on this side of town goes from sixth to twelfth, but it wouldn’t make sense to switch you this close to the end of the year.  I have a car.  How about Jon or I drive you to school for the rest of the year and we can transfer you for tenth grade in the fall?”

Half of his food was gone already (his mom had always yelled at him for eating too fast..), and Brendon contemplated this over a piece of bacon. Of all the things that had raced through his mind the night before, he hadn’t actually thought about school. “Can’t I just switch schools now?”

Jon had finally woken up and was now blinking slowly, staring down a pancake in apparent confusion as to how it came to be on his plate. Spencer was smirking, because of course, he’s the one who put it there.

“There’s only a few weeks left,” Spencer offered. “It could be really hard to switch now.”

Brendon shrugged. He didn’t care a whole lot, actually. It would be nice to go to school with Spencer, was all, but then again, Spencer was a senior. So it didn’t matter. Maybe he was just anxious about running into his cousins at school. He wasn’t sure how to handle facing them, and he wasn’t sure he even wanted to. After all, how could he talk to them in person when he couldn’t even answer his cellphone?

“Wouldn’t you miss your friends at school, Brendon?” Jon asked, starting to cut his pancake up with his fork.

Brendon just glanced over at Jon and cocked his head to the side. “What friends?” he asked, and before Jon could say anything else (because his mouth had fallen open like he was about to) Brendon shoved his last bite of food into his mouth and stood up. He left his plate in the sink.

“Breakfast was amazing, Zack, I’m going to go shower now.”  He darted off, pretending not to hear Spencer’s voice saying, ‘Bren, wait!’, as he closed and locked the bathroom door behind him. Shoot. Why did he have to say that? Now they were going to think he was a loser- a loser kid who didn’t have any friends. Or they were just going to think he was a stupid whiny kid who complained about not having any friends.

“I’m such an idiot…” he mumbled to himself, pinching the bridge of his nose before sighing. He started the shower and waited for it to get warm. When he caught a glimpse of himself in the mirror, he scowled.

“Loser,” he muttered. Sometimes he really didn’t like himself.

…

“How was school today, B?” Spencer asked, sitting down at the table next to where Brendon was doing his homework. He was supposed to make some kind of picture showing all the parts of the cell, which wouldn’t be so hard, if he could actually remember all the parts of the cell. He had notes about it, but he’d left them at his parent’s house, so now he was flipping through his science textbook, trying to find something that’d help him out.

“It was fine,” Brendon responded. Spencer was being careful around him, Brendon could tell. And really, he didn’t blame him. When you show up at someone’s house at ten o’clock at night crying, it makes sense for them to act careful around you.

“Did you uhm… did anything cool happen today?” Spencer asked. He had a math book open and a pencil in his hand, but he wasn’t actually doing anything. Brendon, meanwhile, had no idea how to spell ‘endoplasmic reticulum.’ He might as well quit now. He was too stupid for this.

“Nope,” Brendon said simply, drawing loop-de-loops in the margin of his paper. Endoplasmic reticulum was fun to say at least, and it looked kind of like loop-de-loops, so indirectly, he was studying.

“Did you see your family?”

Brendon didn’t mean to, but his pencil lead snapped from suddenly pushing too hard against his paper. Spencer was watching him cautiously again, staring down at the pencil for a minute before his eyes flicked back up to Brendon. Brendon swept the broken tip off of his paper and clenched, tossing his pencil down on the table.

“I didn’t talk to them,” Brendon said. “I’m not sure if they noticed me or anything. I was kind of ignoring them. And I wouldn’t doubt it if my cousins don’t even know what happened yet. My…” Brendon frowned. Was he still allowed to say it? “...my dad… uhm.. he doesn’t like talking about this kind of thing. He thinks it’s embarrassing for people to know his business.”

Spencer frowned. “Are you okay, B?”

Brendon nodded and flipped his book closed. There was no way he could focus. “I’m fine.”

Spencer put his hand on Brendon’s knee and squeezed gently, and Brendon gave Spencer a small grin. Spencer was trying, so Brendon could try too. Spencer was about to say something else, but then his phone buzzed and he pulled his hand back. Brendon didn’t look to see what the message said since he had a feeling Spencer was going to mention it anyways.

Sure enough, “You wanna go get something to eat with Jon and I?” Spencer asked.

Brendon was hungry, always hungry, but he was actually pretty tired too. He didn’t have the energy after today to go out with them and have conversations and act happy. He just wanted to sleep.

“No thanks. I think I’m going to go to bed,” He stood up and picked his books up.

“It’s only five…” Spencer frowned, and Brendon shrugged before shuffling away. Spencer looked awful worried, but Brendon didn’t feel like worrying about that right now.

“Have fun, Spence,” he shut the door behind him and curled up in Spencer’s bed, and even though he didn’t actually fall asleep until late that night, he pretended to be asleep whenever anyone checked on him.

…

Spencer was following Jon around the mall, watching Jon as he geeked out over a CD in the music store they were in. Spencer flipped through some rap CDs, not finding anything interesting and starting to wander down the aisle, looking at other CDs. He found the first Green Day album and looked at it, interested. He’d listened to all the others, but he’d never gotten his hands on the first one.

“I didn’t take you for a punk, Spencer Smith.”

Spencer jumped, surprised, and turned his head. There was Haley, smiling cooly and holding a Godsmack CD in her hands. Spencer noticed that Haley’s nails were painted blue. Sometimes they were painted black or purple, but blue was always Spencer’s favorite. It looked pretty.

“I… uhm…”

“Articulate,” she smirked. “What are you doing here?”

Spencer shrugged and looked away from her fingernails, back at the CD in his own hands. His cuticles were dry and he had hangnails; nothing fun to look at. Spencer thought for a brief moment that he was lucky guys weren’t held to the same beauty standards as girls. He didn’t think he could handle it.

Haley looked around, and Spencer glanced up, noticing as her gaze settled on Jon, who was busy across the store, talking to someone Spencer had never seen before about a movie he was holding in his hand.

“You’re here with him?” she asked, motioning. Spencer looked up at Jon and shrugged. For some reason, he couldn’t really find anything to say.

“You two sure are cute together,” she said, grinning at Spencer, and Spencer felt his face go red.

“Uhm… What?” he scoffed. “Cute together?”

“Yeah.” She looked at him curiously. “Isn’t he your boyfriend? I mean, it just makes sense. You two are already close from being bonded, and the way you act around each other-”

“He’s not my boyfriend,” Spencer snapped, wrinkling up his nose because what? Seriously?

“Really?” Haley asked. “Well, that’s a surprise,” She gave him a smile, and Spencer forced one. He wanted to deck her.

“Yeah. Funny.”

“Oh come on, what are you so angry for?” she asked, laughing, and Spencer clenched his jaw.

He took a breath and set the CD down. “I’m not.”

“Mhm,” she said, following Spencer as he traveled down the aisle to look at something else. Anything else. Seeing Haley had him a bit shaken up but he didn’t want to acknowledge that at the moment.

“It’s been nice talking to you,” she said. “We should hang out some time, Spencer.”

Spencer glanced at her, wanting to say something mean because who was she kidding anyways? But he didn’t. He just shrugged and said, “Sure.”

“I’m glad we’re still friends.” She took his hand and squeezed it, and then turned and left. “Text me some time,” she called over her shoulder, and Spencer just watched her go. He clenched his hands at his sides and tried to get his heart to stop beating so hard. Text her some time. Sure. Right. Still friends? As if. As fucking if. They couldn’t be friends after… how dare she.

“What’s the matter?” Jon asked, coming over, looking curious, but Spencer wasn’t in the mood for sharing. “Hey, is that Haley?”

“I’m going home,” Spencer grumbled. He shoved his hands deep into his pockets and headed for the exit. He was pissed at Haley, and he was going to take it out on Jon. He didn’t want to, but he knew it was going to happen anyways.

“Hey! Wait a minute!” Jon jogged after him and caught Spencer’s arm, stopping him. “I have the keys, dumb ass. And we have to go get Brendon from school.”

“I’ll walk home,” Spencer replied. The less time he spent around other people, the better. Haley. Fuck. Just thinking about her felt like a punch to the stomach, and the fact that she even dared to act like everything was just perfect between them, oh that was even worse. As if she didn’t know what she’d done to him. As if she were completely innocent. Spencer clenched his jaw. He hated her, but he also knew that if she asked, he’d probably take her back in a heartbeat.

“Like hell.  You want to show up early and let Zack know you skipped school?” Jon said. “Come on.”

Spencer let himself be pulled towards the door easily. He was mad, but he wasn’t going to throw a tantrum or anything. He did, however, pull his arm free and walk ahead of Jon out of the store.

“Fine, whatever.”

If Spencer noticed the slightly hurt expression on Jon’s face, or sensed his confusion, even, he didn’t acknowledge it. He just crossed his arms when he got to the car and leaned up against the side, waiting for it to be unlocked. When Jon rolled his eyes and clicked the button to unlock it, Spencer wrenched the door open and plopped himself down in the passenger seat without a word. Jon was still watching him out of the corner of his eye, but they drove to Brendon’s school in silence.

“Hey B,” Jon said, while Brendon threw his backpack into the back seat and slumped inside. “How was school?”

“Well-” Brendon, as he tended to sometimes, went off talking a mile a minute about something that had happened in English class, then about this kid who got his pen stuck in the ceiling in math class, and some kids got in a fight at lunch, and then his Biology teacher had totally let him hang out there and dress up the skeleton instead of going to study hall, and…. Spencer wasn’t really in the mood for this right now. He had to bite down on the inside of his cheek to keep from snapping, and he sank more into his seat. If he was in one of those stupid cartoons that Brendon liked to watch, his ears would be smoking.

Brendon stopped talking abruptly. “Spence, are you okay? Oh shit, I’m talking too much, aren’t I? I’m sorry… fuck, I’m sorry….”

Which of course, didn’t help, because God damn it Brendon this has nothing to do with you. The kid shouldn’t feel bad, because this wasn’t even his fault, but now he totally did, and that was all Spencer’s fault, and just… God damn it. He closed his eyes and growled.

“Don’t mind him,” Jon said. “Spence is just on his period, is all.”

Spencer’s eyes snapped open and he glared at Jon. “Shut up, I am not.”

“Well, you’re acting like it.” Jon’s voice was completely relaxed, and he was smiling, and Spencer seriously, seriously did not have the patience for this shit.

“I’m sorry,” Brendon chimed in. “I didn’t mean to make you mad or anything, I just-”

“It’s fine, Brendon,” Spencer ground out, crossing his arms and not looking at Jon Walker and his stupid grin. Why was everyone so relaxed when Spencer was obviously upset? It wasn’t fair. “Keep going with your story.”

“No, no that’s fine,” Brendon mumbled. “It’s not important anyways.”  Well shit, Spencer thought with a sigh. The car was awkwardly silent the entire way back to the apartment. When they made it back, Brendon immediately scampered off to hide somewhere, mumbling some kind of excuse that neither Jon or Spencer paid much attention to. Jon wandered into the kitchen and got a soda out of the fridge, and Spencer, having nothing better to do, followed.

“Want one, princess?” Jon asked, smirking. Spencer glowered at him.

“Don’t be such a prick,” he said. “Jeeze.”

“Me?” Jon laughed like he couldn’t believe what he was hearing, shaking his head. “Man, remind me to never let you talk to pretty girls again, if it turns you into this much of a pain.”

“You know who that was,” Spencer snapped.

Jon just sighed. “Spence, sweetie. She’s just a girl. You have got to get over her,” he grinned. “Let’s take you out sometime, get you a hooker. It’ll help you relax,” he winked, and Spencer clenched his fists.

“She’s not just a girl. She broke my heart.”

“You’re not the only one who’s had their heart broken, Spence. I told you that getting mated was a bad idea,” he held his hands up like ‘hey. nothing I can do’ and Spencer had just about had enough.

“Fuck you!” He shoved Jon, and Jon actually stumbled back, drink sloshing all over the place.

“Really?” Jon smirked. Spencer wanted to wiped that stupid smile off his face.

Brendon poked his head into the kitchen. “Uhm… guys?”

“You know,” Jon sneered, “I don’t fuck on the first date.”

And then he snapped. Spencer punched him right in the nose, and Jon stumbled back, then shoved Spencer back. Spencer lunged at him, and Jon grabbed Spencer like he was trying to shove him again, but one of them slipped on the drink that had been spilled, and they both went down. It was a tangle of fists and knees striking against the floor and each other while they scuffled, rolling around on the floor. Jon almost pinned him down, but then Spencer kneed him in the stomach and pounced.

“Guys! Guys stop it!” Brendon shouted, trying in vain to pull them apart, but it wasn’t working. Suddenly, hands that were way too strong to be Brendon’s were grabbing Spencer by the back of his shirt and hauling him back.

Zack grabbed Spencer with one hand and Jon with the other and ripped them off of each other. “Knock it off!”

Jon yanked himself free and stepped back, touching his fingers to his fat lip and wincing slightly. Spencer, however, wasn’t ready to give up just yet. He lunged forward, but Zack was too strong and yanked him back, one arm wrapped around Spencer and one hand tight on the back of his neck. “Hey!” he shook Spencer a little, and Spencer just gave up after that, taking a deep breath and not trying to get at Jon anymore. Jon, on a similar note, looked pissed.

“What the hell is going on here?” Zack demanded.

“He started it!” Spencer insisted, pointing at Jon and glaring. Jon scoffed.

“He punched me!”

“He deserved it! He was being an asshole!”

“Well he was being a moody little bitch!”

“Alright!” Zack shouted, yanking Spencer back again, because both he and Jon had their jaws clenched and their fists ready to go. Somebody was gonna get punched again if Zack didn’t step in. “That is just about enough.”

Zack pointed his finger at Jon. “You, go to your room, and you-” he shook Spencer again by the scruff of his neck like a puppy, “Go sit at the table, until you’re both calmed down enough to put the canines away and act like grownups.”

Spencer noticed that Jon ran his tongue over his teeth, as if checking to see if he’d actually started to change over from the confrontation. They had, for the record, but Spencer was preoccupied.

“Oh, what?” he snapped. “You’re putting us in time out now?”

“If that’s what you want to call it, fine.” Zack dragged Spencer over to the table and pushed him into a chair. “Stay. Jonathan-”

“I’m going.” Jon stormed off to his room, and Zack sighed. He glanced over at Brendon, who was pasted to the wall, watching with wide eyes. Zack grinned at him and ruffled Brendon’s hair, while Spencer scowled at them.

“You got homework?” Zack asked. Brendon nodded. “How about you go do that then?” Brendon ran off with a 'yes sir!', and Zack glanced over at Spencer, who was still scowling. Zack raised an eyebrow at him, and Spencer huffed out a breath, folding his arms on the table and dropping his head into them. Fine.

He only waited until Zack and Brendon had left the room, and then he was gone.

…

Brendon was helping Zack make dinner (Spaghetti, which Brendon just happened to know was Spencer’s favorite) chopping up mushrooms and stuff. He accidentally ate half the mushrooms that he was supposed to be chopping, but maybe if he just spread them out on the cutting board, Zack wouldn’t notice… Zack looked over at him and shook his head, then he went and got another package of mushrooms from the fridge and set it down in front of Brendon.

“Just chopping, no eating.”

“Yes sir,” Brendon responded. He figured that if he kept being extra polite, Zack wouldn’t mind letting him stay in the apartment. It was worth a shot, anyways. He chopped almost all of the mushrooms, except one. That one he stuck in his mouth, but he didn’t risk anymore after Zack flicked him on the ear.

“Owww,” Brendon whined, rubbing his ear and pouting up at Zack, because owww why. “Mushrooms have essential vitamins, Zack. I’m young. I need them.” He grinned and closed his eyes when Zack ruffled his hair. Zack could be nice sometimes.

“Go get Spence and Jon for dinner.  We’ll have them set the table, and see if they don’t kill each other in the process.”

Brendon nodded and ran off to do that. Today was a good day, and he had all sorts of energy. He needed to do something to get rid of it, or else he was going to explode or vibrate out of his skin or something. He was glad that Zack let him help out in the kitchen. His mom used to, but he wasn’t allowed to if his dad was around. He wasn’t allowed to do a lot of things when his dad was around, but… he was trying not to think about that stuff anymore.

“Jonny Walker!” Brendon sang, running into Jon’s room and leaping face first onto the bed.

“Oof!” Brendon landed sprawled across Jon’s legs, on top of a book that was then digging into his stomach. He squealed and rolled around when Jon squeezed his sides, and Jon kept tickling him, demanding that Brendon named five types of cereal before he let him go. Jon was really good at helping chase all the extra, jittery energy out of Brendon, and Brendon eventually fell off the bed and onto the floor, breathlessly giggling and clutching his stomach.

“It’s time for…” he giggled and gasped. “I’m supposed to… fetch you… for dinner,” he kept giggling. Jon snorted a laugh and nudged Brendon with his foot.

“You’re so fucking weird, kid,” he got off the bed and hauled Brendon up to his feet. “I’ll go set the table; go find Spence.”

“Okay.” Brendon was still giggling while he wandered off to look for Spencer. After a quick sweep around the apartment he had finally caught his breath, but he also didn’t find who he was looking for. The apartment was a decent size, but there weren’t that many hiding spaces, so…

“Spencer?” he searched every room a second time, but Spencer was seriously nowhere to be seen. Weird. He went into the kitchen with the others. “Hey guys… I can’t find Spencer….”

Jon set the silverware down on the table and frowned. It looked a bit silly with his lip all swollen up. “What do you mean you can’t find him?”

“He’s not here.” Brendon shrugged. “Do you know where he went?”

Zack turned off the burner on the stove and sniffed the air. “He’s not here… God damn it.”  The sound that happened when Zack slammed his fist down on the counter made Brendon flinch.

“Should I call Pete?” Jon asked.

Zack didn’t answer, he was too busy messing with his cell phone. Brendon frowned and hopped up on the counter, drumming his heels against the cabinets and waiting. He could smell that Zack was worried, and Jon was still frowning. Brendon hoped that Spencer wasn’t in too much trouble or anything. He kept drumming his heels against the cabinets quietly and tapping his fingers on his knees. He always fidgeted when he was nervous. It helped.

Somewhere in the apartment, Spencer’s phone totally started going off.

“Son of a bitch…” Zack muttered, snapping his phone shut (Zack still had a flip phone. The kind from, like, 2005 that Brendon remembered his older brothers having when he was little. They used to be really cool, but now..?).

“You guys go ahead and eat,” Zack snapped, heading for the door and grabbing a jacket. He grabbed Spencer’s phone off the couch and shoved it in his pocket. “I’m going to go look for him, I’m going to bring him home, and then I’m going to kill him.”  The door slammed behind him as he left, and Brendon flinched again. There was a long silence in the apartment, only interrupted by some small children in the apartment next door shouting in play. Eventually Jon clapped his hands together.

“Well, I guess we should eat then,” Jon said, straightening the forks and going towards the stove. “You want me to get your plate for you?”

Brendon wrapped his arms tight around himself. “What’s Zack gonna do?” he asked.

Jon kept his back turned while he shoveled spaghetti onto a plate. “Yell, probably. I don’t know, why?”

Yell. Okay. Yelling was okay. “What’s the matter, Brendon?” Jon asked, turning to face him.

Shit. “Nothing!” Brendon hated the way his voice squeaked a bit. He sounded like such an idiot. “Nothing’s wrong, I’m just… I’m not hungry. I’m gonna go do my homework.”

Jon frowned. “You said you finished your homework…”

“I lied,” Brendon blurted out, hopping down from the counter. “So I have to go finish it, good night.”  He darted off and locked himself in his room, sitting on his bed and pinching part of his wrist until he was able to breathe normally again. He was fine. Nothing was wrong. He just felt bad, all of a sudden. Brendon eventually just shut off the lights and curled up in bed. For the first time in a while, at least, he fell asleep almost instantly.

…

Spencer didn’t go incredibly far from the apartment, just a few blocks into town where he found a little bar, which smelled suspiciously like a graveyard but also really, really good, so he figured ‘why not?’ Nobody stopped him at the door, and it was crowded enough that he was able to walk undisturbed across the bar and grab a stool in the corner against the wall.

It wasn’t too long before a guy, who seriously seriously smelled like blood (it was kind of gross) sauntered (literally) over to him and leaned on the bar in front of him. He was the bartender, obviously.

“Hey there, sailor,” the guy said. The way he was looking at Spencer, it was totally obvious that he knew Spencer wasn’t 21, but he didn’t mention it. “What can I get you?”

“Diet coke please,” Spencer said, shrugging, trying to act casual like he belonged there.

“Oh sweet heart,” the guy looked him up and down, and Spencer couldn’t help feeling slightly violated. “You do not need the diet, you are beautiful.”

Spencer blushed. No. No thank you. Really.

“Normal coke, I guess…” Normal coke did taste better… But Spencer was kind of hoping to trim some of his baby fat (his mom had always said it was baby fat. Spencer wasn’t sure he believed her, but… he was still hoping that one day it would magically fall off and he would turn into a sex god, or… something). Maybe his werewolf metabolism would help that though, and fighting had probably killed some calories, so he could afford the coke.

“What happened to your eye, cutie pie?” the guy’s name tag said ‘Alex’ on it, and Alex seemed nice enough, so Spencer let himself relax a little bit.

“Uhm… just.. I got in a fight with a friend earlier. I was being an asshole….”

“It happens,” Alex said, he poured a can of coke into a glass and slid it over to Spencer. “Here ya go, sweet cheeks. If you’re looking for entertainment, there’s some free soft porn over there.”  He pointed across the bar and winked. Spencer followed his gaze and… oh. That guy that Spencer recognized… Pete, or something. The obnoxious sparkly one had some skinny guy with stupid glasses shoved back against a wall and was totally molesting him, squeezing the guy’s crotch and everything. Spencer blushed and looked away.

“Uhm…” he glanced up at Alex. “Is this… Is this a gay bar?” he asked.

Alex laughed. “Nonono, come on wolfboy. I figured you sniffed this place out on purpose. This is a bar for the fey and the damned.”  He flashed a smirk that totally showed off gleaming, pointy fangs.

Spencer stared at him wide eyed. “What…?”

“Never seen a vampire before?” Alex smirked. “You’re adorable, oh my God.”

“Uhm…”

Alex’s head snapped towards the door when it slammed open, and Spencer followed his gaze to where he saw Zack.  Spencer totally choked on the sip of coke he’d taken. Zack strode over to him, and Alex murmured quietly, “You’re in trouble~.” Spencer set his coke down and braced himself.

“Give me your hand,” Zack demanded immediately, as soon as he got to Spencer, and well. Sure. Spencer instantly stuck his hand out, and found his phone being smacked into it. “You take this, and you keep the sound on every time you leave the house. And you answer it if I’m trying to reach you, you got that?”

Spencer nodded, wide eyed. Zack could be kind of scary. He’d do whatever he said.

Zack then turned to Alex. “Do you realize that you’re serving a seventeen year old?” he demanded. Alex held his hands up, and Spencer felt pretty freaking embarrassed.

“Zack…” Spencer tried.

“Hush up. If this were a mortal bar, the police could arrest you. You need to be more careful about who you let wander in here,” Zack said, and Alex nodded.

“Hey man, I just gave him a coke, not spiked or anything. I wouldn’t give alcohol to a baby,” Alex said. Spencer decided that he liked Alex significantly less than before.

“I’m not a baby…”

“We’re leaving now,” Zack’s hand fastened on the collar of Spencer’s shirt, and Spencer stumbled after him while being practically dragged out of the bar.  Every set of eyes in the building had turned to look at him (he heard Pete laughing- hard to forget that obnoxious cackling- the mother fucker). Spencer was pretty embarrassed. Zack let go of him, at least, when they got outside on the sidewalk. Spencer frowned and rubbed at his throat.

“Listen to me,” Zack stopped Spencer with a hand on his shoulder to keep him still. “This state isn’t safe right now, and I do not want anything bad happening to you. So instead of giving me a fucking heart attack every time you decide to throw a hissy fit, you tell me when you’re going out, and you take your cellphone with you.”

Spencer frowned. “Why is this state dangerous?” That didn’t make much sense. What was so dangerous about Colorado?  Besides, like, bears.

“There are people out there who don’t like werewolves, and they want to kill us, like animals. Wolves may be coming out in the cities, but this town is different.” Zack didn’t sound angry like he had earlier. What he was saying shouldn’t have come as a surprise; he knew the stigma surrounding werewolves. But… there were people that wanted to kill him? That was… fuck, that was kind of scary.

“I’m sorry,” he said. “I’ll be more careful, and I’ll keep my phone on me.”

“That’s all I ask, kid.  Let’s head back.”

“What’s for dinner?”

“Spaghetti.”

“Fuck yes!”

…

Brendon’s phone rang after dinner some time later, while they were all in the living room. Brendon was watching Jon totally destroy Spencer at a video game, and Zack was reading a magazine. Spencer really sucked at Halo…

When his phone started buzzing, Brendon jumped and grabbed for it. The name on the screen said ‘Mason.’ Brendon wasn’t mad at Mason. Mason hadn’t done anything, but at the same time, he hadn’t done anything…. ever. He gave Brendon advice, but… standing up for him once in a while would have been nice. Even so, Brendon wasn’t mad at his brother. Seeing his name just made him really sad, and sending the call to voicemail made him sadder.

“Is that your brother?” Zack asked him. Spencer and Jon had become significantly quieter. Brendon felt kind of sick, but he nodded.  “You’ll have to talk to him eventually.”

Brendon shook his head and stood up. “Not if I can help it.”  He ignored Zack trying to talk to him again and went to the bathroom, locking the door behind him and taking deep breaths until he stopped feeling so…. everything. He didn’t know how to describe it. He just felt bad. He turned his phone off and left it in one of the drawers. He didn’t even want to look at it currently.

...

A few nights later, Zack came home around one thirty a.m., which was only slightly later than normal. There had been a few idiots that wouldn’t leave, even after they announced last call and mentioned several times that the bar was closing, so they hadn’t been able to clean up until later than normal. It wasn’t too bad. Sometimes he didn’t get home until two or three. One thirty wasn’t bad at all.

He came in quietly, because hopefully everyone would be asleep, and he didn’t want to wake them up. When he came inside, however, Brendon was sitting on the couch, knees pulled up to his chest, watching TV on mute in his pajamas. His head snapped over to Zack as soon as he came in, and Zack could smell the relief as it washed over the kid.

“Is something wrong, Brendon?” Zack asked, frowning. Brendon’s eyebrows shot up for a moment, and then he shook his head.

“No, I was just, uhm….” He fidgeted uneasily, and Zack just nodded and waited for him, patient. “I uhm… just… I wanted to make sure you came back,” he said eventually. Zack raised an eyebrow, slightly confused, and he only got more confused when Brendon got up, twitched around nervously for a moment, then darted in and hugged Zack around his middle. Alright. Hugging. Sure, okay.

“Are you sure you’re okay?” Zack asked, rubbing the kid’s back gently until he pulled back just as fast as he darted in.

“I’m gonna go to bed now.  Bye.” He ran off, leaving Zack staring after him in the living room. Weird kid… he didn’t remember signing up to take care of weird kids. Well, besides Jon. But Jon wasn’t that weird, and not too much of a kid anymore. Nineteen. Whatever.

Zack walked over to the silent TV and switched it off, then went to get ready for bed. He could worry more about Brendon’s emotional well-being in the morning, when he was more awake and less irritable.

…

Everyone clapped for their kids as they walked across the stage to get their diplomas, but when Spencer walked across the stage, Brendon and Jon both leapt to their feet, clapping as hard as they could and hollering way too loud. Brendon was jumping up and down, literally, and Jon only stopped clapping long enough to pick his camera up and take a picture.

Spencer, on a different note, was blushing bright enough to be seen from the audience. They weren’t sitting in the front row, because the place had been half-packed by the time they got there (which was half an hour early, for the record. people were insane). They’d snagged a spot in the middle, and even from there, they could see that Spencer was beat red while he walked purposefully across the stage, not looking out at the audience until he was holding the diploma, and then only for a moment. Zack was clapping, like a normal person, which Brendon thought was totally kind of lame. But he was smiling pretty hard, and… yeah. They were all really proud of Spencer.

Spencer looked pretty good in his dark blue cap and gown. He’d recently grown a few inches, and his dress (“Brendon! It’s a gown and it’s gender neutral! Oh my god!”) wasn’t totally swimming on him like it was on some of the other kids. He looked- Brendon took a moment to think of the right adjective- sleek. Spencer looked all tall and sleek and awesome. Spencer didn’t agree, of course. When trying his dress on at the apartment, he’d glared at his reflection in the bathroom mirror and lamented, “I look like a blob.”

“A sexy blob,” Jon had teased, and the two got into a shoving match that almost squished Brendon, almost tore Spencer’s gown, and almost caused Zack to kill all of them because he did ‘not know how to sew, and it is a rental, Goddamn it!’

After they had called everyone’s names and given everyone their diplomas, after the scholarship announcements, the cheesy valedictorian speech, the principal’s infuriatingly boring speech, and the vice-principal’s even more boring and also cheesy speech, they were all free to go. The only thing keeping Brendon from shoving everyone out of the way and sprinting up to Spencer at the front of the auditorium was Zack’s hand fisted in the back of his hoodie, holding him back. Unfortunately, Brendon was like the most impatient person in the whole entire world, also probably the most irritating little shit ever when he was impatient, and Zack was probably ready to throttle him by the time Spencer came jogging over.

“Spencer!” Brendon shouted, jumping on him as soon as Zack let go. “You graduated!”

“Yeah!” Spencer responded, laughing and trying not to fall over. Luckily, Jon was standing behind him and caught them when they overbalanced. Spencer was still blushing a bit, and people were looking at them funny, but Brendon really didn’t care much.

“Come on, it’s too crowded here,” Jon said, and Zack pried Brendon off of Spencer and dragged them all out of the auditorium, outside to the grassy area in the front of the school.

“Smile!” Spencer laughed and blushed, holding his hands up to block while Jon waved his camera about, trying to snap pictures.

“Would you like me to take a picture of all of you?” someone’s mom asked, coming over to them. Jon showed her how to use the camera, but she ended up taking like thirty pictures anyways, since all adults are for some reason technologically challenged.

There was one taken perfectly though, when Brendon had jumped on Spencer’s back and wrapped his arms around Spencer’s neck. Spencer had laughed, holding his legs up for a piggyback ride, and Jon had wrapped an arm around them both and kissed Spencer on the cheek. Zack was standing there too, hand on Brendon’s back to keep him from falling over, and they were all laughing and smiling.

Brendon totally pretended he didn’t see Jon smiling goofily at the picture, after it had been developed, and slipping it into his wallet. If Jon was acting all silly, it wasn’t any of Brendon’s business anyways. It was a pretty great picture though.

…

Brendon felt like he slid into the pack easily, like a puzzle piece. He just hoped that the guys felt the same way, that they didn't mind Brendon being there, that maybe they even liked him. They acted like they did, but at the same time, people can pretend to be nice to you if they feel sorry for you. He wasn't too worried about it, really. Just a little bit. Like when they got irritated with him and stuff. They didn't have to let him stay. Brendon was worried that one day they'd have enough and ask him to leave.

Brendon wouldn't exactly blame them...

But besides his insecurities, Brendon fit in easily, and it did kind of feel like a family. Like maybe he had been there the whole time.

He did feel bad about taking Spencer's bedroom though, but Spencer kept telling him not to worry about it, that it wasn't a problem. The other day, Brendon had sat on the stairs and watched Spencer and Jon wrestle a mattress up the stairs. It wasn't that the mattress was heavy (they were werewolves. A boulder the size of a minivan would have posed a challenge, but a mattress? Asssss ifffffff) it was just that Jon was a bit clumsy, Spencer wanted to hurry, and they weren't very good at teamwork. Eventually, Spencer just yelled 'fine! I'll do it! Jesus fucking Christ!' and carried it the rest of the way all by himself. Jon had been smirking to himself, like he'd planned that the entire time, and if Brendon didn't know any better, he'd think that Jon was totally watching Spencer's ass while the went up the stairs.

But Jon wasn't... Yeah no way. Brendon was just being creepy and gay and imagining everyone else as creepy and gay. What if.... Oh God... What if Brendon was the one watching Spencer's ass. Ew! Ewewewew!!!! Brendon made gagging noises and pressed the heels of his hands into his eyes, trying to unsee it because sure, Spencer had an okay ass, but it was SPENCER! Ew!

"Hey! Hey Brendon are you okay?" Jon ran up the stairs and crouched in front of him, obviously concerned, and Brendon exploded into a giggling fit.

"Spencer's ass!" He yelled, and Jon totally blushed bright red.

"What?" He demanded, but Brendon just kept giggling. Eventually Jon scowled, flicked Brendon on the ear, and stormed up the stairs. Jon was so weird, but so was Brendon, so...

...

Summer vacation coupled with anxiety induced insomnia meant that Brendon was developing a habit of never waking up before eleven, which was actually pretty weird for him, since he was a morning person. When he did finally get up, it was because someone was cooking something and his stomach just couldn't take it anymore, or everyone was being so loud that he couldn't possibly stay in bed, he had to go investigate. It was an okay system.

Brendon was used to noise. Living with five siblings, the house was always buzzing, sometimes deafening. He liked waking up to everyone already being awake and rowdy in the apartment. It was comfortable.

So it freaked him out a bit when he woke up on a Thursday morning and the place was silent. He sat up and frowned, sniffed the air, and there were traces of them, but it wasn't normal. He got up, still frowning, and padded into the empty living room. No one was in the living room, or the kitchen, or any of the bedrooms, or the bathroom. They weren't on the balcony or hiding in the closets. He was alone...

Huh.

He really didn't know what to do with himself, so he turned on the tv to make some noise and poured himself a bowl of cereal. He curled up on the couch, cradling his cereal, and tried to focus on Spongebob. It was the episode about 'Spongebob day,' where everyone leaves Spongebob completely alone in bikini bottom, he spirals into a depression induced case of psychosis, and he makes a puppet of Patrick out of hamburger.

It really didn't do anything to set Brendon at ease.

They were gone, and they hadn't told him they were leaving, and... What if they were hurt? Or, oh God, what if they'd been murdered? Or kidnapped? Oh my God oh my God oh my God.

Brendon considered calling one of them; he had their numbers in his cellphone and all, since Zack was really dedicated to communication or something. But.. He didn't want to bother them and be annoying..

He hadn't touched his cereal yet, and it had turned all soggy and gross. Fruity pebbles all melting into a purple marshmallow type goo. Appetizing. He set the bowl down.

He didn't know why he was so nervous, but his stomach was literally in knots. He felt like he was going to cry, or just, like curl into a ball and die. It didn't make sense. He didn't have a reason to feel like this. He wrapped his arms tight around his legs and waited, trying to remember how to breathe normally.

It took three more episodes of Spongebob until Brendon could hear Spencer and Jon’s voices in the hallway. He perked up as they burst into the room, hauling a giant IKEA box with them.

“...and by that point, he had toothpaste in his fucking ears, and he just started yelling, ‘My ears are minty fresh!’ and he kicked his pants off, and then…”

“I never want to meet this person,” Spencer said, “Keep him far, far away from me.”

“You are no fun, puppy, seriously.  Tom is-” Jon paused when he noticed Brendon on the couch. Brendon ducked his head and tried to hide behind his knees. “Bren? What’s wrong?”

Brendon made himself smile, just for Jon, who was looking mighty concerned.

“Nothing,” he said. “Just chilling.”

“Why are you upset?”

Brendon hated werewolf senses. He truly, truly did. How was he supposed to lie when Jon could just sniff him and call him out on it? He was already a shitty liar. This wasn’t exactly fair.

Even so, Brendon had no intention of telling Jon that he felt like throwing himself off the balcony, for no real reason except that he just felt tremendously bad, because Jon would think he was insane. That would suck.

“Just… I watched something sad on TV. I’m a sap for Hallmark movies,” He watched as Jon looked at the TV for a moment, then raised an eyebrow.

“You’re watching Spongebob…”

“Hallmark movies have happy endings,” Spencer chimed in. Fuck you, Spencer. Let me lie in peace.

“What’s in the box?” If Brendon acted chipper enough, maybe they’d start to believe him. “Is it a dragon? I’ve always wanted a dragon. Like a little one that I could carry on my shoulder and in my pocket and feed things to.”

“I think what you want is a lizard,” Spencer said, rolling his eyes. “It’s a bed. Want to help put it together?”

Brendon had no idea how to build a bed, and he really didn’t think he could talk to Jon or Spencer anymore without bursting into tears or spontaneously combusting, but….

“Sure. Why not.”

…

It turns out that none of them actually had any clue how to put the bed together, even with the instructions in the box. It took Brendon at least five minutes to find the English instructions (only after he had tried reciting the French instructions with an awful accent), and then there were like, fifty extra screws and stuff. Brendon didn’t believe in reading the instructions first, but Spencer was an avid instruction booklet reader. He read the entire thing (in English) before even letting them take things out of the box, and then kept it open and read the step-by-step instructions while they tried to put it together. Miraculously, they still fucked up.

“Fuck this,” Spencer threw a screwdriver and actually got it stuck in the wall by the light switch. All three of them stared at it for a moment before Jon stood up.

“Stay.”

Brendon and Spencer exchanged a look, and Brendon shrugged before crawling across the room and yanking the screwdriver out of the wall. It was stuck in there pretty good, and he toppled backwards when it finally came free. Spencer chuckled.

After a few minutes, Jon came back, smiling like the devil.

“Behold, puppies-” and that was how, half an hour later, they all found themselves sprawled out on the bedroom floor, totally stoned and giggling like idiots.

Brendon was pretty sure that Spencer had never smoked weed before, since he was laughing like an idiot, slightly green, and he’d looked absolutely gobsmacked when Jon pulled the small bag out from behind his back and winked at them. Brendon, surprisingly, wasn’t a weed virgin. There was a long and rather unfortunate story from seventh grade, that started with a joint or two in a classmate’s basement and ended with Brendon absolutely covered, head-to-toe, practically, in barbeque sauce, because they had made a ton of frozen chicken nuggets ahead of time, and high Brendon thought that the swirls he could draw on his skin with the sauce were absolutely beautiful.

At least his life wasn’t boring….

As one would guess, putting the bed together while they were high was even harder than putting it together while they were sober, but at least Spencer wasn’t being bossy and annoying. He just kept saying, “Guys… guys guys guys we have to…” and then bursting into hysterical giggling. It was pretty contagious, and that’s why they were all rolling around on the floor.

“Seriously though,” Jon said. “If you squint, just the right way, you can see little shiny things everywhere. I swear to it. And what if the world is just full of little shiny things? Imagine how much happier it would be if everything sparkled, all the time.”

“Like fairy dust,” Brendon mused, grinning.

Spencer scowled lazily. “I hate fairies.”

“Let’s order a pizza,” Jon said, so they got on Jon’s cellphone and ordered seven. The pizzas arrived at the apartment at the same time as a very disgruntled Zack, who ended up putting the bed together by himself anyways. Brendon would have felt guilty about that, but he didn't’ have it in him. All he had in him was pizza. Wonderful, glorious pizza.

…

There was a cold war going on considering Brendon’s cellphone. Zack wanted Brendon to answer it. Brendon, under no circumstances, was willing to pick the phone up and talk to his brother.  Jon and Spencer just kept out of it. It was a generally quiet disturbance, only the nightly buzzing of a cellphone, the occasional comment of ‘you gonna get that?’ Sometimes Brendon huffed and crossed his arms, and sometimes he just pouted and switched it off, and sometimes he just shrugged and continued whatever he was doing.

There had been discussions, but one thing was clear, Brendon did not want to answer that phone. Zack, on the other hand, thought that he should. Thus the two went around and around and around…

The first shouting match happened when Brendon’s phone started buzzing during dinner. Zack had taken it and said, “If you don’t answer it, I will.” Brendon was stubborn, and Zack didn’t have incredible amounts of patience, so they both started shouting. Jon looked up at Spencer over his bowl of mac n’ cheese and shrugged, as if saying ‘what are ya going to do?’

Spencer watched them argue, both standing up in front of their chairs and being loud. Spencer totally saw the way that, when Zack raised his hand up and jabbed his finger in Brendon’s general direction while making a point, Brendon flinched back like he’d been hit and… well.. Spencer wasn’t an idiot.

Zack growled something about being late for work and dealing with Brendon later, before he grabbed his things and stormed out. Brendon had immediately burst into tears and ran out of the room, leaving Spencer and Jon at the kitchen table staring awkwardly after him.

“You should talk to him…” Jon said, and yeah, Spencer planned to. He’d give him a little while to calm down though, just long enough for Spencer and Jon to swallow the rest of their food and clean up the kitchen table. Afterwards, Jon settled down on the couch with a book, and Spencer decided it was time to talk to the younger werewolf, who was filling the entire apartment with angst. It was suffocating.

Brendon’s door was unlocked, so Spencer just opened it without knocking. As soon as the door started to open, Brendon’s voice called out.

“Zack, I’m so sorry, please don’t-” he stalled, noticing Spencer, his mouth was hanging open a little. “Oh… it’s you… hey.”  He slowly sat back down on the edge of his bed, and Spencer frowned, closing the door gently and leaning back against it.

“What were you just saying?” he asked.

Brendon shook his head, fidgeting and not making eye contact. Brendon always made eye contact, unless he was too hyper to pay attention or really upset. Spencer knew it was the latter.

“Nothing, nothing, never mind,” he said. He was picking at a loose string in his jeans.

“Why does it smell like blood?” Spencer asked, sniffing, frowning. Definitely blood.

“Oh, that,” Brendon was fidgeting more, still not making any eye contact. “Someone left the bottom drawer open in the bathroom, and I smacked my shin against it. It’s bleeding, but I’m okay, I put a bandaid on it, it’s fine.”

Spencer nodded. “Okay… that was probably me, sorry.”

“It’s fine.”

A silence settled over them, and Brendon was still fidgeting. Did he ever sit still? Probably not. Spencer wasn’t sure how to say what he wanted to, because it was an awkward conversation, and Brendon had already lied about it before. Spencer knew that this conversation would be nearly impossible if it were with Ryan, and he wanted to make sure that Brendon wouldn’t just shut him out the way Ryan always managed to. He wasn’t sure how to do that though.

Finally, having no stroke of genius, he decided to just go for it. “What actually happened, Brendon?”

Brendon looked up, seemingly startled that the silence had been broken and by that question. He furrowed his eyebrows together. “What are you talking about?”

“Your parents kicked you out, and I want to know what actually happened,” Spencer said solidly, crossing his arms over his chest. “I know you lied about it.”

Brendon physically shrank back, losing eye contact for a moment before looking up, his face the expression of pure innocence. It was totally fake.

“I told you what happened.”

“You said that your parents kicked you out for being ‘defiant,’ but you didn’t actually tell us what happened,” Spencer said. Brendon squirmed.

“It doesn’t matter.”

“It kind of does, though, actually.” When Brendon didn’t say anything, Spencer sighed and crossed the room to sit on the bed next to him. “Did they hit you?”

Brendon’s head immediately snapped up and he glared at Spencer, who had never actually seen him glare before, at least not at him. He was always just happy or sad. This was new.

“No.” he said firmly, setting his jaw.

“Brendon.”

“No, and it’s none of your business.”

“You flinch whenever someone moves too fast,” Spencer pointed out. Brendon shrugged.

“So?”

“I saw bruises before, Brendon.”

Brendon crossed his arms tight over his chest, “It’s not what you think, and it’s none of your business, and it doesn’t matter, so shut up.”

“Why did they kick you out?” Spencer insisted. “What happened?”

Brendon locked his jaw and glared down at the floor, arms still tight around himself, tense. “I don’t want to talk about it….”

“You’re going to have to, eventually… B, please?” Spencer figured that if insisting didn’t work, maybe pleading would, and he was right. He watched Brendon relax just a little, sighing and closing his eyes.

“Fine… fine, I’ll tell you about it, just….” There was a long pause, and Spencer waited him out.  Eventually, after a long minute or so, Brendon stopped fidgeting and said, “They didn’t, like… they just… I deserved it, okay? I’m defiant, and I wouldn’t listen, so my dad smacked me or whatever sometimes, but it’s nothing, really… But then. It’s hard, you know? The... the werewolf thing is hard when you can’t tell anyone. And I kept sneaking out, and I was getting in trouble all the time, and.. it sucked. Everything sucked. And then my dad and I got in a stupid fight, and I was going to get in trouble again and I didn’t want to so I yelled back at him and when he tried to touch me I shoved him and said I wasn’t going to let him hit me anymore, and the next thing I know I just snapped, and I like.. I hurt his arm with my nails.” Brendon was curled up with legs pulled up to him, and he looked down at his hand when he said this. “And they saw, they saw that I was changing over, and I jumped on my dad… and he said it’s bad enough that I’m a faggot, but he wouldn’t accept this, and I wasn’t his son… and my mom said that I should leave, and Mason just didn’t say anything… I just….” He dropped his head onto his knees, and Spencer was pretty sure he was crying. “I really messed up, Spencer.”

Spencer scooted over close to him and wrapped his arms entirely around Brendon, because Brendon was small enough for him to do that, and he had a feeling that Brendon really needed that right now.

“I fuck everything up,” Brendon whispered miserably.

“No you don’t.” He hugged Brendon close and smoothed his hair down.

“I hate myself.”

“Brendon, don’t say that.” Spencer squeezed him tighter. “There’s nothing wrong with you, okay? Nothing at all.”

Brendon was definitely crying now, his cheeks wet and breath hiccuping against where it was pressed into Spencer’s neck. Spencer kept holding him, not really sure what else to do at this point. He waited a minute, and then spoke again.

“Zack isn’t like your dad, B.”  He felt Brendon flinch slightly against him.

“What?”

“He’s not going to hit you, and he’s not going to kick you out, I promise, okay?” Spencer said, smoothing his hair down again. “If he can put up with me, then he can definitely handle you. You’re not nearly as irritating as I am.”

There was a sound, and Spencer realized it was giggling. Brendon was laughing, quietly, but laughing at least.

“I think you should tell Zack and Jon about your family too,” he suggested, but Brendon immediately shook his head.

“It’s okay... no... they don’t… things only got bad with my family after they found out that I might be gay, and… I don’t… they were good... they are good people... it's my fault... and Jon and Zack... they don’t need to know about everything… and I don’t want to explain all that, and… I can’t tell them….”

“You can’t tell them?”

“I can’t tell them that I might be gay… I just can’t, Spencer. I can’t explain it without mentioning that, and I can’t let them know.”

“Why not?” Spencer asked. He’d loosened his hold on Brendon a bit, so now only his arm was around the kid’s shoulders. Brendon had relaxed significantly, and though he had tensed up again talking about this, he wasn’t crying anymore.

“I don’t know for sure that I am, and I just… I don’t want them to hate me…” Brendon’s voice was tiny and shaky. It made Spencer sad. Didn’t Brendon know better? That they weren’t like that?

“Bren….”

“I’ll tell them if I have to one day, okay? I will if it comes to that, but… I just… I need to keep some stuff secret for now, okay?”

Spencer could respect that; he had secrets too. Fine, fine. “Alright, I get it, B. You don’t have to tell them.”

Brendon melted back into his side. “Thank you….”

“Are you okay?” Spencer asked.

Brendon bumped his head against Spencer’s shoulder and sighed.  He said, “Yeah, yeah I’m okay,” and it was the first time Spencer actually believed him in a while.

…

The following night, Brendon’s phone rang again at dinner. They all turned to stare at it wide eyed, and Brendon held his breath. It rang once, twice, three times, and then Brendon was on his feet and going over to it without looking at anyone else in the room. It rang a fourth time, and Brendon hesitated a second, not ready to do this but figuring he owed it to Zack and Mason anyways. He bit his lip before grabbing it and pressing ‘answer,’ then lifting the phone to his ear.

“H-hi… hey Mase…”

“Brendon, oh my gosh!” Mason exploded into a long line of excited talking, and Brendon just grinned to himself and listened. He thought he was the only one who did that when he was excited, but it must have been a family thing. He listened to Mason yell at him for a while, not really yelling because he sounded absolutely overjoyed that Brendon had actually picked up.

“Yeah, I missed you too…”

…

Spencer had plans- plans that involved meeting Jon at work, drinking coffee and chatting up the baristas like a cool, almost college kid would, and hopefully giving a girl his number. He needed a date, damn it. And he needed to get out of the apartment. More than anything, he really needed to go hang out with Jon. He was so bored, and he could only watch TV with Brendon for so long.

He had his phone and wallet in his pocket, jacket on, shoes tied, and he was just stepping out the apartment door when Zack grabbed him by the back of the collar and tugged him back, catching Spencer by surprise. He totally didn’t make a strange yelping noise, and he also didn’t think about flipping off Brendon when the younger werewolf laughed at him. The little shit. But more importantly….

“Zack, what the hell?” He kind of whined, and yeah, that was totally a sign that he’d been spending too much time with the world’s most vocal fourteen year old, who was currently watching South Park upside down on the couch and giggling like an idiot, his face alarmingly red from blood flow. Spencer needed new friends. Maybe he should hit Ryan up, or check in at least. If Ryan even wanted to talk to him…

“Everyone has to stay inside today. There’s… Something is happening, and it’s too dangerous to let you out on your own,” Zack said, and he sounded serious, which wasn’t really rare for Zack. The guy was serious a lot. But he usually didn’t sound this… (oh come on, Spencer, think of a college word…) morose. He was a downright thundercloud.

“Dangerous? What’s dangerous?” he asked, crossing his arms. Brendon was paying attention now, neck bent in a way that looked painful so he could look up at them while still staying upside down.

“I’ll explain when Jon gets here. Take a seat, Spence, you aren’t going anywhere.”

Spencer sighed and slumped down on the couch next to Brendon who was giggling because of the word ‘dildo.’ Dildo, for the love of God, fourteen year olds are so weird….

It wasn’t five minutes later (five minutes that Zack spent pacing and straightening things, a nervous habit of his, sitting down and standing up, and just moving around the entire time, really. Like Brendon, but steadier and less twitchy) that there was a rather large puff of smoke. Spencer smelled coffee and warmth and dollar store shampoo, which meant Jon, and also cinnamon, which meant someone else… Two people appeared by the front door when the smoke cleared. Someone short and small, dressed entirely in tight, black clothing, standing next to Jon, who was dressed in baggy jeans, a wrinkled shirt, and a starbucks apron. The little guy… that was the fairy prince guy. Oh boy.

“Dude,” Jon complained, fanning smoke away from himself. “Couldn’t we have walked?”

“It’s more fun to just poof places. Walking is for poor, deprived creatures.”

As if proving his point, Peter whatever his whole name is, disappeared into another puff of smoke and then appeared immediately on the couch next to them, legs draped over Brendon’s stomach and back against the armrest. It must have caught Brendon off guard, because he flailed and screamed and then fell ungracefully off the couch. Spencer couldn’t help but laugh, but he hooked his hands under Brendon’s armpits and pulled him back onto the couch too, because Spencer was a nice guy, of course.

“Stop being so loud!” Zack sounded urgent, hurrying over. “Jon, sit. Pete, what’s the update?” Zack came over and sat down on the nearby armchair while everyone else squeezed onto the couch. Pete shifted so that he was sitting crosslegged and set his fingers on his temples, closing his eyes for a moment, like he was meditating or some shit. Zack watched him carefully, and Spencer just looked at Brendon and shrugged.

“They’re downtown. There’s four of them, and I recognize the one. He has a lot of experience. I can’t get in their heads, they’re too far away, but they don’t seem to be on anyone’s trail at the moment…” Pete finally said, letting his eyes open. He looked more serious than Spencer had ever seen him, and it just made him curious. What exactly was going on?

“You warned the others?” Zack asked.

“I told Alex, and the family pack in the suburbs.” Spencer totally didn’t let himself think about Haley. Not at all. “I dropped in on the vampires near industrial. Patrick is warning the others, Joe is ready to help in case anything happens, and I’ve found this mortal guy, Hurley or something. Totally into wolf culture. I’m keeping my eye on him, you know how mortals can be…. But I’ve been in his head and he’s legit, also a doctor. So if anything happens….”

“Nothing is going to happen,” Zack’s voice was solid. Brendon was leaning into Spencer’s side, chin propped up on Spencer’s shoulder, listening wide eyed and careful. His heartbeat was fast enough to tell Spencer he was scared. Jon, on the other hand, looked as relaxed as always.

“What’s going to happen?” Spencer asked, because really, he had no idea what anyone was talking about, and he didn’t like that. Zack turned and looked at him, but it was Pete who spoke.

“Hunters have come to town. We haven’t seen any legitimate ones in a while. It’s usually just gun toting conservative mortals, but these guys are the real deal. They’re loaded with silver, which means they’re wolf hunting.”

Spencer frowned and looked between Zack and Pete. “Wolf hunting? You mean werewolves?” Zack nodded.

Brendon piped up, “Like… they want to kill us? Why would they want to kill us? We haven’t done anything,”

“We’re wolves, and that’s enough for people like this,” Jon said. Spencer realized he was a bit more tense than he let on, the way his voice came out as a bit of a growl and his hands were tense on his legs. “These mortals get power hungry, and they feel like it’s their duty to rid the world of evil.”

“But we aren’t evil,” Spencer said. Right? It wasn’t like those stories they told little kids, about wolves that tear your throat out and attack anything that moves. Wolves that lose complete control under the moon. Wolves that are battling some kind of internal monster, fighting to hold on to their sanity… It wasn’t like that at all. They were just… normal. Humans. With benefits.

“We aren’t,” Zack said with a sigh, leaning back in his seat. “But there’s some that are, and these people base all of their beliefs off of that….”

“I don’t understand….” Spencer wasn’t a monster. Neither was Jon or Brendon or Zack or Haley…. He’d never really thought about evil. It was hard to wrap his mind around someone wanting to kill him.

“I need to tell you guys something,” Zack said, folding his hands like this was important. Brendon leaned forward with his elbows on his knees, and Spencer leaned back. Jon didn’t look surprised; he probably already knew what Zack had to say. “It’s about being a werewolf, and something that can happen. You guys know by now the changes that happen after you’re bit…. your senses become focused, your metabolism is faster, you run on a higher body temperature, and you’re stronger, among other things. Well, considering all of that, it would be pretty easy to take down a mortal….”  He looked at them in a way that was asking if they still understood, so Spencer nodded.

“Accidents can happen sometimes.  If, for example, a wolf isn’t eating enough, the hunger can be overwhelming. Pair this with heightened senses and send them off alone during a full moon, and they can sometimes lose control. Sometimes they attack humans… When this happens, when they have lost control of themselves to the point that they attack somebody, they almost always go for the heart, and that is the most dangerous thing they can do. Not only for the mortal, who is obviously, erm.. going to die, but for the wolf themselves.”

Brendon had the most horrified expression Spencer had ever seen on his face. Jon and Pete, on the other hand, looked bored yet solemn. Pete had fire dancing on his fingertips, and he stared at that.

“How is it dangerous?” Spencer asked, turning his attention back to Zack. “For the wolf?”

“There is one piece of mythology that people got right, you know,” Jon chimed in, and Spencer’s head snapped towards him. “If you eat a human heart, it is apparently the greatest experience you’ll ever have, like drugs.”

“And it can overwhelm you. You can become addicted, obsessed, and after that, most wolves lose control and become rogue,” Zack added.

“Which is why there are hunters,” Pete said, still watching his fire, and grinning creepily. “A wolf goes rogue, someone’s family member is found in the woods with their heart torn out, people get scared, and then they decide to take it into their own hands. For revenge. These stories spread around, and now even though less than five percent of wolves go rogue, everyone is too scared to think any different.”

“What are we going to do?” Brendon asked in a quiet voice. “Are they going to kill us?”  He sounded scared, so Spencer put his arm around him.

“I’m going to head them off now, actually,” Pete said, standing up. “Have Trick shift the wind, send them wandering somewhere else. Maybe get in their heads and confuse them, make them go home. Something fun like that.”

“For now, we stay right here. I don’t want anyone getting grabbed,” Zack said. He nodded up at Pete, “Thanks for your help. Good luck.”

“I don’t need luck.” Pete smirked, cackling before he disappeared into smoke, leaving only a whisper and some irritated sinuses in his wake.

“I just need you guys to know,” Zack said, looking at Spencer and Brendon carefully. “If you come across a hunter, you do everything necessary to get away from them, because if they get power over you, they will hurt you, and they’ll enjoy it.”

Brendon shuddered. “How do we know if it’s a hunter though?”

“Garlic,” Jon shrugged. “All of them reek of it, to keep vampires away. They’re more scared of them than they are of us, really. We’re so much easier to kill.”

“Wow…” Brendon whispered. Spencer hugged him a bit closer.

“Well,” Jon stood up and came to flop down next to Spencer and Brendon. “Since we’re trapped in here anyways, who’s ready to get their ass kicked at Halo?”

It turned out that while distracted, Spencer was even worse at Halo than normal, which was pretty sad. Brendon and Jon didn’t really seem into it either, though, and Zack just sat there quietly, watching, his mind obviously far away.

…

After that, the rest of the summer passed without a lot of drama. Pete used some kind of persuasive fairy voodoo and shooed the hunters out of town (“They’re someone else’s problem now, the mother fuckers,” he’d said) and they were allowed out of the apartment again. There weren’t anymore fights over cellphones, and things were just nice.

The state was still engulfed in the dry heat of summer, but Spencer could tell Fall was approaching because of the ever-growing knot in his stomach. There was also a list that Brendon had stuck up on the refrigerator, a countdown of sorts, of things that he had to get done before summer was over. Some of it didn’t make a whole lot of sense, and some of the things were just song titles, but Spencer had a feeling those had to do with Jon teaching Brendon to play guitar. There were probably a dozen songs on that list, and Spencer had no idea how Brendon hoped to learn those in just two weeks, but he didn’t mention it. Brendon was determined (if also very bad at guitar, since he’d just started), and he got a wounded expression on his face whenever Spencer brought it up, so he just... didn’t. At least Brendon was smiling again, which he’d stopped doing for a little while. It had kind of been freaking Spencer out.

School was also freaking him out. He’d withdrawn his application to Colorado State and had enrolled himself at the local community college. It was cheaper, and he didn’t feel a whole lot like going away and living in a dorm on the other side of the state anyways. Too many things had changed last year, and he’d just like everything to hold still for a while. Besides, living with Jon and Zack and Brendon had to be at least a little bit similar to the roommate experience. He wasn’t missing a whole lot.

His first day of classes was September first (one day before he turned eighteen. Happy freaking birthday), and although he didn’t make a list and stick it to the fridge the way Brendon had, Spencer had a few things he wanted to get done too.

Actually, just one thing.

Ryan’s birthday was two days before his, and Spencer figured that, since they hadn’t talked to each other the entire summer, maybe they were both cooled down enough to be friends again. Or maybe Ryan would be even more pissed because of the absence and this entire thing would backfire. Spencer wasn’t sure, but he figured Ryan deserved a present on his birthday anyways, so he dragged Jon to the bookstore with him and walked around listlessly for an hour. He didn’t even know what to get for his best friend’s birthday. How sad was that?

“Hey,” Jon wandered over to him after a while, holding a small yellow paperback in his hand. “Palan… Palah… whatever this guy’s name is. Palahniuk? Didn’t you mention that he liked this guy before?”

Spencer wasn’t sure how much he talked about Ryan, actually, let alone what he had mentioned, but yeah, Ryan totally loved this guy. Spencer had heard him talk about Fight Club and metaphors and word usage and anarchy for, like, four weeks straight. He hadn’t even read the thing, but he could probably write a book report on it and get an A, thanks to Ross. Jon was a genius.

Spencer told him that, patting him on the shoulder and taking the book to the check out.

The closer it got to August 31st, the more Spencer thought this was a bad idea, but that didn’t stop him from wrapping the book nicely (he knew how picky Ryan could be about details and art and blah blah blah), and on Ryan’s birthday, he found himself all the way across town, standing on the porch, hand raised to knock. There was no going back now. Jon had dropped him off and then gone off to work, so if he didn’t talk to Ryan, he’d just have to turn around and walk all the way back home. He took a deep, steadying breath, and then he knocked. And knocked. And knocked…

“Ryan, come on…” he mumbled under his breath, pounding his fist on the door again, when suddenly it flew open.

“What?”

Spencer couldn’t help but jumping slightly, because even though he was a big bad werewolf, and he totally wasn’t scared of Mr. Ross at all, it still startled him. He was almost as tall as Ryan’s dad. He wasn’t a mammoth guy, not like Zack or Brendon’s dad. He was even kind of skinny like his son. Still, he was mean, and Spencer had been expecting Ryan. Ryan could have a pretty vicious glare when he wanted, but his father had him totally owned.

“Uhm.. I. Uhm,” eloquent, Spencer, get a hold of yourself. “Is Ryan here?”

Spencer was prepared for a lot of reactions from the old man in front of him, but he wasn’t expecting the bitter laugh that erupted out of him, loud and shattering.

“That little piece of shit?” Mr. Ross practically barked at him. “He’s gone! Skipped town. I don’t know where the hell he is, but he’d better not come back!”

Spencer blinked. “He’s gone?” Ryan was gone? He’d run away? He’d just.. left? Without saying goodbye?

“Isn’t that what I just said, boy?” Mr. Ross yelled at him. “Get off of my porch!”

“Did he say where he went?” Spencer asked stubbornly. He wasn’t leaving without answers. “Did he leave a note?”

“He didn’t say shit,” Mr. Ross answered bitterly. “But he’s not in town anymore, lemme tell ya that. Don’t bother looking for the little faggot.” And with that, the door slammed closed in Spencer’s face. Spencer took a moment, letting himself be in shock, to stare blankly at the door and try to digest what Mr. Ross had just told him. Ryan was gone. Gone. It seemed impossible, but…

He couldn’t help but wonder if he was to blame for this. By kind of ditching Ryan and everything… If he had been there for him, would Ryan have run away? But he couldn’t be there for Ryan. Ryan didn’t want his help to begin with.

‘He did this to himself,’ Spencer told himself, but he didn’t actually believe it.

He took the long way home through the woods, and when he went over the bridge by his house, he threw his book into the creek underneath it. He imagined the ink of his note on the front page smearing into nothing and shoved his hands deep in his pockets. The note had been simple- “I’m sorry”- but Ryan probably didn’t want to hear it anyways. It was a long walk home.

…

Spencer would have been happy, after that, to just curl up in bed with headphones on and be pissed off and sad all by himself, but the universe obviously had different plans for him. Not even thirty seconds after walked into the apartment, there was someone banging on the door. He frowned and walked over to open it, and at this point, really, Spencer was fucking sick of surprises.

“Hey!” Haley chirped, letting herself in past Spencer and smiling. Spencer couldn’t even make himself smile, he was too confused. He just frowned.

“How do you know where I live?” he asked, crossing his arms over his chest.

“I caught your scent when you were out, and I followed you.” She shrugged and smiled innocently. Spencer crossed his arms tighter. Why wouldn’t this girl just leave him alone?

“What do you want?” he asked.

“You know, you used to be sweet to me, Spencer,” she said, frowning a bit, and Spencer felt like an asshole. “I’m leaving for California tomorrow, and I wanted to say goodbye.”

“Oh.” Everyone was leaving. “Bye.”

“That’s all?” she asked, looking pissed. So many emotions… Spencer was having trouble keeping up.

“Sorry?”

“You never texted me.” She punched him in the shoulder, harder than it looked like she would be able to. Like they were playing. Like they were still friends.

“Sorry.”

She cocked her head to the side and looked at him for a moment. Spencer felt flushed and uncomfortable. “You’re not as hot as I remember,” she said finally, after a few moments. “You’re going to community college, right?”

“Yeah.”

They were quiet for another horribly awkward moment. Spencer caught Brendon come into the room in his peripheral vision. He stopped in the doorway.

Haley looked at him for a moment before turning her attention back to Spencer. “I didn’t know he was a wolf now,” she said, sounding curious. Spencer didn’t feel like answering any questions.

“Yeah. Look, I have stuff to do….”

She nodded. “Yeah, sure. See you around, Spencer Smith.” She leaned in and kissed Spencer on the cheek, while Spencer just held his breath and focused on not moving. Then, just like that, she was gone. Spencer felt like he’d been punched in the stomach instead of the arm.

“Was that Haley?” Brendon asked, when Spencer spun around and stormed down the hall to his and Jon’s bedroom.

“Shut up,” was all he said before slamming the door and falling face first onto his bed. He kind of hated everything. He figured he deserved to be a little melodramatic at the moment.

…

Usually Spencer was the rational one, the one who told people that their ideas were stupid and discouraged them from doing bad things, but Jon was standing there with a bottle in his hand, smirking like the devil, and Spencer was already in a shitty mood… and really, when, from the first day they met, has he ever been able to say no to Jon walker?

Spencer had wrenched himself out of bed to eat dinner, but he was quiet the whole time and immediately returned to his bed to sulk afterwards. It wasn’t until Zack had left for work that Jon came to bug him.

“Hey puppy, you smell like an absolute raincloud,” Jon said, leaning against the doorjamb. “You could totally use a drink.”

He and Ryan had made a pact a long time ago that they’d never drink away their emotions. They wouldn’t be like Ryan’s dad. But, well… Ryan wasn’t even talking to Spencer anymore. He wasn’t even in town anymore. So, what the hell?

“I totally, really could,” Spencer groaned, not bothering to sit up. “What is that?”

“Your birthday present,” Jon said, traipsing over and hopping onto Spencer’s bed, making the whole thing bounce. Spencer rolled his eyes.

“No, genius. I meant.. oh just give me that.” He took the bottle and read the label. “Whiskey. Cool.”

“Happy birthday!” Jon said. He pulled some cans of coke out of his hoodie pocket, along with two plastic cups and smiled, like he was proud of himself or something.

“My birthday isn’t for two more days,” Spencer said, smiling to himself without meaning too.

“Yeah, well…”

“Neither of us are legal.” Spencer didn’t know why he was suddenly on the verge of laughter, but Jon smiled at him and shrugged.

“I won’t tell if you don’t.”

Spencer agreed, nodding as Jon popped open the coke cans and mixed the coke and whiskey into the cups. He handed the whiskey bottle to Spencer, who was curious, so he took a swig straight from the bottle and just about died. It was the worst thing he had ever tasted in his entire life, and it burned his throat, oh my God. Jon laughed at him, so hard that he almost spilled the drinks everywhere, and then he poured more coke into Spencer’s before handing it to him.

Spencer wasn’t sure how many cups they drank, but they filled them up whenever they started to get empty. Jon made a run to the kitchen for more coca cola, and he came back juggling an armful of cans. They emptied all of them, plus over half the bottle of whiskey. Some time during that, they also had a joint or two. Spencer wasn’t sure when. Everything was kind of blurry around the edges, and he was pretty sure that everything wasn’t as funny as he thought it was.

He wasn’t sure how they ended up in the position they were in, Spencer on his back on the bed with Jon on top of him, situated so that they’re legs were sandwiched together. Jon’s arms were braced on either side of Spencer’s head to hold him up and his hands were in Spencer’s hair. Spencer’s hands stayed tentatively on Jon’s hips, and their mouths moved against each other. It was weird, different than kissing Haley had ever been, and Spencer had plenty of experience there to compare this too. But his brain was a bit too fuzzy to compare anything, and he didn’t actually mind the way Jon’s almost-beard was scratching against him while they kissed. In fact, he wasn’t really thinking about what they were doing at all, and when Jon grabbed him and rolled them over so that he was on top, the only thought in his mind was ‘whoa’ and maybe he didn’t mind being manhandled so much.

It was kind of messy, and even after all the times he’d made out with Haley, he still wasn’t sure he knew what he was doing. He was also a bit queasy, but that might have been from the booze, and he was ignoring it. Jon tasted like whiskey and something sweet and he smelled like coffee and a little bit like sweat and something else, and it was nothing at all like kissing Haley, but he was drunk and it had been a while, so he closed his eyes and pretended. He was a teenaged boy and he was kiss deprived, damnit.

Of course all of this woke something else up as well. Spencer was hard in his pants and could feel Jon pressed against his hip as well, but Jon didn’t even acknowledge that. He totally could have taken advantage of Spencer in this situation, totally, because Spencer was half asleep at this point and too loopy to even try to stop him, but instead Jon pulled back and nudged at his shoulder when Spencer just dropped his head down heavily on Jon’s chest.

“Hey,” he nudged him gently. “Hey, Spence, we should go to sleep….”

“Sleep here,” Spencer mumbled, his voice not feeling like his own, and definitely slurring. He felt and heard Jon sigh. When Jon leaned up to hit the light switch and make sure neither of their drinks had spilled, Spencer just clung to him until he held still again. Jon snagged the blanket off his own bed (it was good that their beds were close together) and covered them up, but Spencer was almost entirely asleep by this point.

He felt Jon press a kiss to the top of his head, murmuring “Happy birthday, puppy,” and then Spencer was out.

…

Spencer woke up glued to the mattress; even his eyelids were too heavy to lift. The light coming in through the window was blinding even with his eyes closed, his head was pounding so hard it felt like his eyelids were twitching with each thump, and his stomach could only be compared to the ocean on a bad day.

“Oh my God,” he groaned, his lips sticking together when he opened his mouth, which tasted awful. It felt like it was made of cotton. Cotton that had been dunked in a McDonald’s toilet a few times. “Oh my God,” he repeated, rolling onto his stomach. “Oh my God, I’m dying.”

The bed moved, and someone next to him was shifting. “Fuck,” Jon’s voice croaked out. “Ungh....”

“I’m dead. I swear to God I’m dead,” Spencer groaned, and he heard Jon chuckle, that motherfucker. “What the fuck happened last night?”

“Too much fucking whiskey,” Jon said. The bed moved again, dipping as Jon sat up or something, and Spencer’s stomach tossed around. Oh my God he was dying. Holy shit.

“Fuck,” he groaned. “Fuck I’m never doing that ever again. How much did we fucking drink?”

“Too much,” Jon said. He hand was warm, too hot, where it was rubbing Spencer’s back. “We should have taken it easy last night. You’re such a light weight, you were drunk after two cups.”

“God, I don’t even remember past two cups.” Spencer used all of his body strength to shove himself into sitting position. His stomach protested. His head spun around angrily. When he opened his eyes, the room was definitely too bright. He wanted to die. “God damn how does Ryan’s dad do this every day?” He flopped face forward onto the bed, folded practically in half over his folded legs. Jon was petting his back again, and it did nothing but make him more nauseous.

“You don’t remember what happened last night?” he asked, and he sounded hesitant. Spencer frowned.

“No?” he said. “I don’t remember past a couple of drinks. Fuck. I feel awful. How could you let me do this?” he was mostly teasing.

“Oh…” Jon said. Spencer didn’t really care. His head hurt, and he really needed to brush his teeth and drink, like, fifty glasses of water.

“Mother of fuck.”  He pried himself off the bed and tried not to fall over or throw up. “I call first shower.”

“Yeah, that’s cool,” Jon didn’t look nearly as hungover as Spencer felt.

Spencer ruffled Jon’s hair and stumbled out of the room, wondering what Jon was acting so weird about. He seriously didn’t remember anything that had happened the night prior. He remembered alcohol, and it tasted awful at first, but not so bad once it’d been mixed with coke. He remembered laughing a lot and hiding the bottle from Brendon when he’d come to investigate. He remembered a joint or two maybe, but really, after his fourth cup or so, he didn’t remember anything at all. What the fuck. It was weird, having a memory gap, but he pushed it away and focused on showering without throwing up, which proved to be impossible. The whiskey tasted like toxic chemicals when it came back up, and his headache exploded like starbursts behind his eyes. He would never drink again. Never, ever again, holy shit.

…

Spencer’s birthday just happened to land on the full moon, which was kind of epic. Spencer spent the entire day bouncing around and feeling too itchy and tight in his skin, waiting for the sun to set already. They celebrated at dinner. Zack had bought a cake at the store that said ‘Happy 18th Birthday Spence!’ on it in green letters, and they let Brendon put the candles on it. Brendon didn’t believe in conventional birthday candle rules (one for each year) so there ended up being 73 candles on the thing (he’d ran down to the convenience store and bought every box they had) and Spencer was laughing so hard that he couldn’t even blow them all out.

Zack got him a new backpack for his birthday, which came wrapped in a gift bag with messily placed tissue paper. It was bigger than his last one and totally not falling apart, which was nice, since his college textbooks were a lot heavier than his high school ones. Brendon’s gift was a handful of pins wrapped up in, like, twelve layers of newspaper that Spencer had a hell of a time getting open, which Brendon thought was hilarious. That made it worth it. One said “T-rexes aren’t mad, they just want hugs.” Another said “this is my happy face” and another had the Halo symbol on it. They were pretty awesome.

Jon’s present was wrapped neater that Spencer thought he was capable of, and he felt a bit guilty tearing it open. Inside there were two books. One was “A Catcher in the Rye” which Jon had been telling him to read for forever (“Holden is just like you, puppy! He’s all pissed off and angsty too!”) and the other was a photo album. He felt a little awkward, sitting there flipping through the photo album while everyone was staring at him. Inside were pictures that he didn’t even remember being taken. There was a picture at the pizza place, some of him and Brendon hanging out on the couch before Brendon moved in (one showed them both asleep, Brendon curled up almost entirely on top of Spencer, and it made him laugh). There were pictures from graduation too, and just. A ton. Spencer saw Jon with a camera a lot, but he never realized.

“This is amazing,” he said, standing up and pulling Jon into a tight hug. “Thank you.”

Jon pressed a smile into the side of Spencer’s head. “You welcome, puppy,” he nipped at Spencer’s ear, making Spencer laugh and try to shove him away. They ended up falling over and wrestling on the floor until Brendon jumped on top of them, doing some serious damage to Spencer’s spine with his knee. Zack laughed but eventually threatened that none of them were getting cake if they didn’t get off the damned floor, and well, that got them up pretty fast.

Afterwards, Spencer and Jon were hanging out in their room, chilling on Jon's bed. Brendon was helping Zack clean up in the kitchen, and they were all just waiting for the sun to go down so that they could go out. Jon was reading one of his old books, and Spencer had started "The Catcher in the Rye" which didn't make a whole lot of sense, but Spencer already loved the Holden character.

"So, uhm..." Jon said awkwardly, closing his book gently and setting it aside. Spencer glanced up at him. "I have another birthday present for you…."

Jon was blushing and acting all bashful, and Spencer was curious. He turned to face him. "What is it?"

Jon grinned and fidgeted a bit. "Well, uhm..." he met Spencer's eye and then leaned in, and then he was...

Spencer shoved him back. "What are you doing?"

Jon looked startled, mouth hanging open a bit. "I.. uhm..."

"Did you just... why did you just kiss me?" Spencer asked. He let his book fall closed on the floor when he scrambled off the bed.

"I... I.. Uhm..." Jon stuttered out. "Spence, I was just…."

Spencer ran out of the room, through the apartment, and out the front door, slamming it closed behind him. He didn't go very far, just into the hallway, where he leaned his head against the wall and thought 'oh my god' repeatedly.  That’s all he was really capable of.  Jon had just kissed him. Jon had just fucking kissed him. What the fuck? Why had he done that? Did it mean something? Did Spencer want it to mean something? No. No, he wasn't gay, but he had just kissed a boy. Oh my God.

He growled quietly, closing his eyes, and when he focused, he could hear the conversation inside. "What's wrong with Spencer?" "Is he okay?" "I... uhm... I just kissed him..." "You... kissed him?" Brendon was totally laughing. Figures. "I'm. I'm gonna go talk to him."

And then Jon was in the hallway too before Spencer could run away. Spencer just clenched his fists and sighed, bracing himself.

"Spence, I-"

"I'm not gay," Spencer interrupted. "And, like, I don't care if you are or whatever. That's cool. But I'm not, so."

"I'm sorry," Jon said. He was still kind of flushed and he looked miserable. Spencer felt pretty miserable too, so. "I wasn't thinking, okay? It didn't mean anything. I swear."

Spencer swallowed hard. "I'm not gay.”

Jon sighed, "I know that," and Spencer nodded.

"Okay…."

"Are we cool?  Please tell me we’re cool." Jon was probably as close to tears as Spencer had ever seen him, and it was kind of freaking him out.

"Yeah," he said. "Yeah, of course, fuck, man. You're," he took a deep breath, kind of shaky. His lips felt all tingly, but he was trying not to think about it. "You're like my brother. You're like Brendon. Of course we're friends. I'm just not into you that way."

"Yeah. Yeah, of course," Jon said. Spencer nodded again, feeling weird as he ducked in and hugged Jon. Jon hugged him back warm and tight, the way he always hugged, and it was kind of comforting. The kiss hadn't meant anything, Spencer reminded himself. It was like a joke. Jon was like his brother. Spencer wasn't gay. Everything was fine.

Spencer tried to just get his mind to shut off, and he focused on how great his birthday had been so far, before. Before the thing he wasn't thinking about. The thing that he was going to laugh about one day. Spencer went back inside with Jon and kept his distance. He brushed off Brendon when he came bouncing over, and he pretended he didn't see Zack raise his eyebrow at them. Spencer also pretended not to notice that his parents hadn’t answered when he called them, or that they hadn't called first. It didn’t matter anyways. He'd just try again tomorrow. They were just busy or whatever….

…

Brendon was normally hyper on moon nights anyways, but after three pieces of cake and an unknown number of redbulls, he was the loudest most annoying bouncy little shit Spencer had ever had to deal with in his life.

“Brendon, oh my God, shut up!” he’d snapped, and Brendon had just giggled and done a cartwheel. Oh for the love of.

“Jon, I am going to kill him,” Spencer said seriously. Jon just rolled his eyes and ran up behind Brendon, scooping him up bridal style and making the younger boy squeal and laugh and kick his legs around trying to get free.

He wasn’t much better in wolf form, running sporadically all over the place, and Zack appointed Spencer to keep up with him and make sure he didn’t run off too far. Spencer followed after him, occasionally getting pounced on by an over-excited puppy, and Spencer really didn’t enjoy having drool all over him.

Brendon couldn’t hold still. When Spencer glanced back, he could see Zack and Jon maybe a hundred yards away. Brendon wasn’t very far ahead of him, but he was moving fast. That's when Spencer smelled another wolf and heard some twigs snapping. Spencer growled, trying to ward it off and get Brendon to come back, but Brendon wasn’t paying any attention. He was, actually, heading right towards the stranger. Spencer growled again, moving faster and trying to get to Brendon, when he saw the other wolf moving closer. It was running.

Spencer got there just in time, grabbing Brendon by the scruff and throwing him back before the strange wolf jumped on top of him, snarling and snapping. He was smaller than Spencer but bigger than Brendon, and Spencer really could have handled it, but then Zack was there. Zack was really fucking scary in wolf form. He tackled the wolf off of Spencer and rolled around as the two fought. Really, though, the wolf was tiny compared to Zack and it didn’t take a lot to pin him down. Zack’s teeth to the wolf’s throat left the wolf squirming and growling underneath him, and then he changed over, surprising everybody.

“Okay!”  It was a boy, not any older than Spencer (wolf vision meant that he could see just fine in the dark) with light hair spiked up everywhere and an angry-yet-panicked expression on his face. “Okay!” the kid yelled. “Okay! Get off of me, man! Come on!”

Zack changed over, back to human, and climbed off of the kid, who immediately scrambled backwards. He leapt to his feet and rubbed at his throat, glaring Zack down.

“What the fuck!?” he yelled.

“You’re in our territory,” Zack growled. “Who the hell are you?” Spencer decided to follow suit and changed back too, standing up and flanking Zack’s left, fists clenched. He was like, back up, or something. Jon was over by Brendon, nuzzling at him and making sure he was okay.

“I didn’t know it was yours. Jesus fucking Christ, you just about ripped my throat out!”

“Don’t attack my puppy next time,” Zack countered.

The boy clenched his fists and growled. “Keep him on a shorter fucking leash, then.”

Zack squared his shoulders back and took a deep breath; Spencer knew that he was calming himself down. He’d seen him do it before. Sometimes he was jealous of Zack’s levels of self control.

“You’re awfully young to be out here alone. Where’s your pack?”

The kid scoffed. “I’m not that young, old man. Don’t worry about me.”

“You’re new in town,” Zack said.

“Prove it,” the kid snarled. Spencer clenched his fists tighter and growled, but stopped when Zack shot him a look.

“If you weren’t new here, you would have known that this is our part of the woods. We’re very territorial around here. I’d be careful, if I were you,” Zack said. “Not everyone around here is so nice to strangers.”

“Yeah, cause you’re so damned friendly. Fuck you, I can take care of myself,” he growled again and stuck his nose into the air. What a prick.

“Do you need somewhere to crash tonight?” Jon asked, totally ignoring the sharp look Zack shot him. He had switched over and come up behind Zack. “It can be dangerous around here, for people like us. Especially if you don’t know the territory.”

“I don’t care,” the kid said. “I’m fine.”

“You’re bleeding,” Jon said, and the kid was. His neck had prickles of blood, there was a large scratch across his chest that had to be painful, and his back was probably scraped all to hell. He was standing gingerly, more weight on one leg, like he'd sprained his ankle or something. “We can help clean you up, and we have food.”

Spencer saw something flicker through the kid’s eyes. He looked a bit younger when he wasn’t scowling.

“Why should I trust you?” he challenged.  He pointed at Zack and declared, “He tried to kill me!”

“But I didn’t,” Zack said. “That’s reason enough.”

The kid crossed his arms tight over his chest, fists still clenched and glared them down for a moment, considering. Brendon switched over and came up behind Spencer, pressing against his back and hooking his chin over Spencer’s shoulder. Spencer had been growing, so he knew Brendon was probably on his tiptoes to accomplish this. He didn’t really mind that they were naked. He’d gotten used to it.

“Fine…” he finally said. “But I’m not sleeping there, and I’m leaving as soon as I have what I want.”  He put his nose back in the air and tried to look tough.

“That’s fine,” Jon said, using a gentle voice that Spencer recognized and Jon was really the only one who could sound just like that. “Where are your clothes at?”

He shifted around and pointed to the left. “That way. About a quarter mile. I haven’t gone far.”

Jon nodded. “We’ll wait here. Ours are a mile that way, and our place isn’t very far from there.”

“Fine,” he said, glaring at them one more time before changing over, turning, and sprinting away. They waited there, Brendon fidgeting nervously and Spencer trying to relax his nerves a little.

“What the hell was that?” Zack snapped, spinning to face Jon. “What if that kid is a criminal or something? You’re inviting him to our apartment?”

“He’s a lost little kid, Zack,” Jon snapped. “He’s lost, he’s hurt, and if we don’t help him out then he’s going to run into someone else. You said it yourself. People aren’t nice around here.”

Jon and Zack glared steadily at each other, and Spencer was honestly surprised that Jon was willing to go against Zack like that. He was usually the most complacent one in the pack. This was new.

“Alright,” Zack said. “Alright, that’s fine.”

Jon nodded. “Thank you.”

“You’re just like your mother.”

“Good.”

The kid came jogging up to them, dressed in ratty jeans, a black shirt, a flannel under a filthy black hoodie, and tennis shoes that had seen better days. This kid had been on his own for a while… A lot of kids dressed ratty on purpose, but only a homeless person could be that filthy.

“You freaks are naked. It’s disgusting. Come on.” He stalked off in the direction Jon had pointed in earlier. Spencer, Jon, Zack, and Brendon all exchanged a look before switching back to wolf form and running after him.