Chapter Text
Alec stayed the rest of the day, and Magnus was glad for it. There was no more danger, no imminent risk of Azazel returning to their plane, but he felt better having Alec there anyway.
When it had long since gotten dark, Alec came to find him in the apothecary, where Magnus was staring at his hands, thinking about what he had discovered. The truth of Azazel’s plan for him.
“Hey, Magnus.” Rather than leaning in the doorway, as he might have not long ago, Alec came right over to him, knelt by his side. Placed a hand on his thigh. “Are you okay?”
Magnus looked over to him and found a furrow of concern between Alec’s brows. Maybe, he thought, it was less that Alec’s behavior had changed, and more that Magnus was behaving concerningly. Going distant.
“What did you ask?” he finally managed to say.
The line in Alec’s forehead deepened. “Are you okay?”
Magnus looked back at his hands. They were shaking. “Fine.”
“Do you want to go to bed?”
Magnus wasn’t sure he could go to bed, but it was either that or continue sitting here, staring at his hands. He nodded.
When he didn’t move to get up, Alec shifted, trying to catch his gaze. “Magnus.”
“I’m alright,” Magnus said.
Alec’s gaze was pained. Magnus tried not to see it. After a long moment, Alec sighed, apparently giving up, stood up and tugged Magnus to his feet. He wrapped an arm around him and bundled him in the direction of the bedroom. Magnus leaned into him.
“Come on. Let’s get you to bed.”
Magnus didn’t think before lying down fully clothed, didn’t even realize he had done something strange until he looked up to find Alec staring at him, that pained line back in his expression.
“You want some pajamas or something?” Alec asked faintly.
Magnus looked down at himself, frowning. “Ah. Of course. Let me just—” he went to snap himself into more comfortable clothes, but Alec took his hand before he could.
“Don’t. I’ll just— just give me a second.”
He disappeared to the other side of the room, and Magnus pushed himself back upright on shaky arms, started slowly unbuttoning his shirt. Soon Alec returned with pajamas for both of them, sat down on the edge of the bed beside Magnus.
Magnus managed to get his shirt off and accepted the t-shirt Alec offered him, pulling it over his head.
“Magnus…” Alec started, twisting the fabric of his own pajama shirt in his hands instead of putting it on, “are you sure he didn’t hurt you?”
Magnus reached down to tug off his socks instead of looking at Alec. “He didn’t. He was going to. But he didn’t.”
“What was he going to do?”
Instead of answering, Magnus took the shirt from Alec’s hands, busied himself with smoothing the wrinkles from it. He tugged at the hem of the one Alec was still wearing, the one that he’d banished Azazel in, and Alec took the hint and pulled it over his head, dropping it to the floor.
“Are you sure he didn’t hurt you?” Magnus finally asked.
Alec frowned. “What, you mean when he—”
“—when he threw you across the room, yes.”
“Nah, come on, Magnus, I’m tougher than that. I’ve had way worse.”
This was not as reassuring as he probably meant it to be, but instead of saying so Magnus handed him his now slightly less wrinkled t-shirt and watched him put it on.
“I know you’re trying to distract me,” Alec said, pushing a pair of sweatpants into Magnus’s hands. “It’s okay if you don’t want to talk about it.”
“There’s nothing to talk about.” Magnus unbuttoned his pants and peeled them off, throwing them away somewhere. He wasn’t normally one to treat his clothes so callously, but he was finding it hard to care right about now. “Nothing happened.”
“Yeah, okay.”
Magnus pulled his sweatpants on roughly, watching as Alec did the same, albeit with somewhat less aggression in his movements. Magnus held Alec’s gaze as he snapped his fingers to summon his makeup wipes, pulling one out and scrubbing at his eyes.
Alec sighed at the use of magic. “I could have gotten that for you.”
“I don’t need you to.” But goddammit, his magic still felt unsettled, even with only that small use. He shook out his hands, letting the magic swirl more freely around him, and rubbed at his eye makeup again. Magically applied makeup was always so difficult to get off the mundane way.
“Magnus.”
Magnus scrubbed harder at his skin. Why could he not get it off?
“Magnus!”
Magnus startled as Alec touched his wrist, just a light touch, just to still his hand, but still enough to send a jolt through him. He realized his magic was buzzing all over his skin now, hovering as a sort of shield, and his hand was trembling.
Alec took the makeup wipes from him. “I think you’ve got all of it.”
So then why was his skin still itching?
“Are you sure you don’t want to talk about it?” Alec asked.
Magnus sagged into the mattress, twisting his hands in his lap. “What’s there to talk about, Alexander?” Other than that he wanted to rip his own skin off. Other than that he was suddenly really glad they had set sides of the bed because it meant Alec would be between him and the door.
For a moment Alec just looked at him, sad and contemplative. Magnus didn’t like seeing his lips set in a frown like that, didn’t like that he’d made it happen. But he didn’t have long to contemplate it before Alec’s hands were sliding up his arms and pulling him closer.
“Come here.”
God, he sounded so sad. Magnus pressed his face into Alec’s neck, throat growing tight at the grief in Alec’s voice. He hated that he’d put that sound there, he hated—
“Hey, hey. It’s okay.” Alec’s arms tightened around him. “It’s okay, Magnus.”
Magnus sniffled, willing himself not to let the tears fall, even though he could already feel them pressing against his eyes. He would have to find a way to put what Azazel had tried to do out of his mind if he wanted to stay sane. He felt shivery just thinking about it, never mind if the demon had actually succeeded.
To that end, he forced himself to stop sniffling, turned his head far enough away from Alec’s skin that he could speak and said, “You know, darling, I have to say, watching you take down Azazel really did something for me.”
“Oh, yeah?” Alec didn’t move away to speak to him. He cradled the back of Magnus’s head. He seemed to be deliberating whether to push or give Magnus the out, and apparently chose the latter as when he next spoke, his voice was lighter. “What kind of something?”
Magnus tried to spin together a clever innuendo, but his heart wasn’t really in it. “It was very sexy.”
Alec hummed. “Well, you know you can come watch me train whenever you want. If, you know. You’re looking for some company.”
Oh, he was really too clever. Magnus didn’t know how he’d thought he could pull a single thing over on Alec.
“The apartment does get a bit drafty during the day,” he said. “Perhaps I’ll come and tempt you away from your work.”
“I’d like that.”
“And surely your office deserves to be christened.”
“Magnus,” Alec chastised, but there was a genuine laugh in his voice now. “I think you need to get some sleep before you can do something like that.”
“Mmm, you’d be surprised. I’m not to be underestimated, Alexander.”
That got him a full laugh. “Don't I know it. But we’re not portalling to the Institute right now to have sex on my office couch.”
“Of course not. I was thinking the desk.”
Alec groaned and dragged him down until they were lying side by side on the bed, Magnus’s head resting on Alec’s shoulder. “Come on, you. You’re supposed to be resting. Put those thoughts away.”
“I’m afraid that would require you to leave, darling, and I would rather prefer that you didn’t.” Even if he did, it probably wouldn’t work. Magnus’s thoughts were occupied by Alec a good portion of the time regardless of whether he was there.
Alec softened, tugging at Magnus’s hair until Magnus got the hint and looked up at him. “Hey,” he said, “I love you.”
It still felt new to hear that. Magnus smiled and pressed a soft kiss to Alec’s lips. “And I you, my dear.”
It still felt a little strange, to be able to lay down his head and expect Alec to be there. Alec hadn’t asked before staying the night, and Magnus hadn’t wanted him to, and it might’ve merely been because he was too concerned to leave, but Magnus hoped that wasn’t all of it. He hoped Alec stayed because he knew he was wanted, and because he wanted to; hoped Alec would stay. For as long as possible.
It felt a little strange to have him there, but also good, safe, and Magnus pressed himself in closer to Alec, letting his magic buzz comfortingly around them. He snapped his fingers so the comforter appeared on top of them, and then again to turn out the lights, and Alec grumbled in disapproval, but didn’t try to stop him.
“Goodnight, Magnus,” he said instead, his voice incredibly soft. “Try and get some sleep.”
Magnus smiled against his chest. “Goodnight, darling.”