Chapter Text
A dark forest appears on the screen, the background music low and menacing. The camera advances and in the brindled light of dusk there sits a house, shrouded in shades of gray and black, artwork for a gothic soul. The house stands as if under a constant shadow, as if the sun keeps reaching for walls that only shrink away. Its windows stay black without the rippling effect of the light, years of dust clinging to the surface. To say that there are ghosts inside is almost a certainty. The figure on the screen ignores every warning sign the weathered exterior is screaming at them as they open the door to enter the house.
The old wood floor creaks ominously under their feet, shaped under the soles of generations of inhabitants, though no one alive walks its halls now.
Uraraka drags her eyes away from the television screen in front of her, peering to her right to see Shinsou already whimpering as he anxiously crams popcorn into his mouth, handfuls at a time. To her left, Midoriya is clutching her arm so tightly Uraraka worries that she might start losing circulation soon.
It isn’t like the suspense wasn’t getting to her at all, but she couldn’t help but chuckle a bit to herself at their reactions. It made her feel a little more lighthearted. That is, until something flashes across the screen accompanied by a big loud crash that makes them all flinch.
Uraraka forces her mouth shut and swallows several noises she never wants the other two to hear. Beside her, Shinsou makes gurgling noises that make her wonder for a second if he had choked on his popcorn from the shock. Midoriya only tightens his grip on her, silent as his wide eyes stay glued to the screen.
She forces herself to take a few pieces of popcorn from the bowl in Shinsou’s lap, hoping it would relax her a bit, only for her to half choke when something jumps towards the camera, the screen fading to black with another loud bang.
The room falls silent, all of them waiting for the inevitable jump scare that awaited them once the blackness of the screen receded. There is a faint noise of a door opening, its hinges creaking in protest. They collectively hold their breath. It’s fine, she thinks, there’s no reason for her to be so scared- WHAM! The sound of a door slamming shut sends them all jumping out of their skin.
The popcorn bowl goes flying, sending the remaining puffs showering down around them. Midoriya screeches as he flails, elbowing Uraraka in the side in the process. She grimaces at the pain. Uraraka feels something squeezing her hand in a death grip and she looks down to see that Shinsou had grabbed it in his panic. They both look down at their entwined fingers and then up at each other, jumping apart as if they’d touched an electric fence. Uraraka feels her face flush but her embarrassment is quickly dampened by the matching blush on Shinsou’s cheeks.
All of her attention is drawn to a snickering sound from behind them. Uraraka whips her head around to stare at her bubbly pink-haired roommate, who is hunched over in a fit of laughter by the front door.
“Mina!” Uraraka hisses. “What the hell?”
Midoriya throws himself face-first into the couch cushion with a loud groan. “That wasn’t funny, Mina!” he cries, voice muffled by the fabric he’s attempting to disappear into.
Mina waves her apologies as she tries to get words out between her howling. “I’m- I couldn’t... help it... I-” Mina’s laughter is cut short when Uraraka sends a pillow hurdling directly into her face. “Ow!”
“That’s what you get!” Uraraka says, sticking out her tongue.
Mina returns the gesture, before her eyes flick over to Shinsou. “You’re still here? Isn’t it getting a little late?” She meets Uraraka’s scowl with a smirk and all but skips off towards her room.
“Ignore her,” Uraraka says as she glares daggers into Mina’s retreating back. Only when her roommate steps into her room and closes the door does Uraraka look back at Shinsou. “We can finish the movie if you want.”
“I’m not sure if ignoring her would be a wise decision.” He quirks a crooked smile at her. “Besides,” he drops his voice to a dramatic whisper, “I don’t think she likes me very much.”
“She likes you!” Her voice comes out a pitch too high, and by the look on Shinsou’s face… it’s not convincing. “She’s just protective.”
“Does she still think I’m going to kidnap you? Playing the serial killer long game?” His chuckle is low and raspy and Uraraka is ashamed at how quickly a heat rises to her cheeks.
Her own laugh is a little too high, a little too loud. “Oh no, nothing like that.”
When he doesn’t say anything, Uraraka realizes he’s waiting for her to elaborate, and like hell she’s going to do that. The gods must favor her then, just a little, because there’s a loud snore that brings their attention to the couch to see Midoriya’s sleeping form curled up on the cushions, his chest rumbling with every breath.
Uraraka raises her arms over her head and exaggerates a yawn. “Maybe Izuku has the right idea.”
Shinsou quirks an eyebrow at her but presses no further. Instead, he says, “He sure can fall asleep fast can’t he?”
Uraraka giggles and grabs a blanket from the back of the couch to drape over her sleeping friend, tucking it close under his chin. She runs a hand through his hair without a second thought, a casual sort of intimacy she enjoys with all of her close friends, and Midoriya shuffles further into the blanket with a content smile on his face.
She straightens up to see Shinsou looking at her with one of those looks that she can only describe as calculating. It puts her on guard. “What?” she asks.
“You’re…” He halts for a moment, and the way his eyes linger on her face for a beat too long turned her stomach. Shinsou rubs a hand on the back of his neck as he ends up saying, “A really good friend.” Uraraka’s face darkens and she looks down to avoid his eyes.
“Thanks,” she squeaks, and she has to clear her throat.
Shinsou picks up his phone, mentioning something about the time after his eyes linger on the screen. They say their goodbyes and goodnights, she makes him promise he will text her when he gets home, and then he’s out the door.
The door clicks shut and Uraraka presses her forehead against the cool wood, inhales deep, and exhales slowly. Instead of turning towards her room, she heads towards Mina’s, rapping softly against her door.
“You may enter,” Mina calls. Uraraka resists the urge to roll her eyes at the overexaggerated tone. When she opens it Mina is in the middle of stretching, peering up at her from her spot on the floor in an image of innocence. In a tone to match, she asks, “Did you need something?”
Uraraka stands in her doorway, hand on her hip. “Mina…”
“What?”
“He thinks you hate him,” she huffs.
Mina rolls her eyes, not one to hold anything back. “I don’t hate him…”
“But?”
She shifts into another stretch. “But I don’t like the way you’ve been simultaneously love-struck and acting like someone kicked your dog since you met him.”
“I told you what happened to him,” Uraraka snaps. “You can’t blame him for that.”
“I know,” Mina sighs. “But you’re my best friend, not him. I want you to be happy, I don’t want you to get hurt…”
This conversation is one they’ve had plenty of times, usually with Izuku joining Mina’s forces and ganging up on her. Uraraka had known what this thing with Shinsou was from the start, knew his dread and trepidation when it came to anything soulmate-related.
She grits her teeth and does what she’d been doing a lot of lately: she lied. “I’ve known for a long time this can’t go anywhere, if I don’t have any expectations, I can’t get hurt.”
Mina presses her lips hard together and looks at Uraraka, seeing right through her facade as Mina is ought to do. She pauses her movements with a sigh before getting up and laying on her bed, patting the blanket beside her. Uraraka accepts the truce, crawling into the empty space and scooting in close for Mina to wrap her arms around her.
They stay silent for a while, and Uraraka thinks maybe Mina has fallen asleep until she feels a slight tugging on her arm. She looks down to see her friend's fingers prodding at the band she’s kept secure over arm nearly every day since Kendo gave it to her. It’s been nearly nine months since then. Uraraka indulges her and removes the band, revealing the bold letters underneath. Her stomach lurches, the popcorn from earlier threatening to make a second appearance.
Mina seems to sense her anxiety, arm tightening around her middle. “You know, he’d probably be thrilled to find out it’s you.”
Uraraka snorts. “Or he could hate me and never speak to me again.”
“You don’t know that,” Mina murmurs.
“No,” Uraraka whispers, voice wavering only slightly. “And I don’t know if I’m willing to risk it to find out.” Her fingers trace over her mark, a feeling of unease settles inside her. There was a time, before, when the very sight of it would bring her comfort. Now its only purpose was to remind her of things she couldn’t have. “I could get it removed.”
“Are you crazy?” Mina leans back to look at her face, dumbfounded. “You’d rather spend whatever savings you have and go through hours of pain instead of telling him about this?”
“Yes.” Her response is instant, not needing to spare it another thought. Mina’s eyebrows climb high across her forehead as her incredulous expression deepens.
She quickly pulls Uraraka back against her, obscuring her face.
Mina doesn’t say anything for a while and then, “You love him.”
It isn’t a question. She feels dumb, in the sense that she’s run out of excuses to use, because the truth is Shinsou had dropped into her life and shown her a new reality that she had never anticipated, one that Uraraka cannot reach. Her secret is the anchor at her feet, the reason she can’t reach the surface or the sunshine, the feelings of soft joy in the memories of last summer that can never be touched again.
Her phone dings and she shimmy’s to get it out from her pocket, squinting as the screen lights up her face.
[Shinsou]: home :)
Tears pool in her eyes and she swipes at them before they have a chance to fall. Uraraka doesn’t type a response, curling further into her friend's embrace. Mina doesn’t speak again, only holding her friend tighter as she exhales shuddering breaths against her chest as they both fall asleep.
When she wakes in the morning, Mina is not laying next to her. Uraraka feels a twinge of guilt for imposing on her friend the night before, but the feeling doesn’t linger as the savory smell of bacon hits her full force in the face.
Is Mina cooking? The thought sends a shiver down her spine. Uraraka wonders how long she has before the smoke alarm goes off, but when she walks out of the room into the kitchen it’s not Mina in front of the stove, but Midoriya. Mina… is looking over his shoulder, drool practically dripping from her chin.
“Please Mina,” Midoriya whines. “I can’t concentrate with you hovering like that.”
“Good morning!” Uraraka greets through a yawn. Mina moves away from Midoriya’s side to launch herself at her.
“Morning Chaks! Feelin’ better this morning?” She pokes one of Uraraka’s cheeks, still red from being pressed into Mina’s pillow.
It burns even pinker from the memory. “Oh yeah, sorry about that.”
Mina waves her off. Midoriya has stopped cooking to peer at her suspiciously, and it doesn’t take a genius to guess what their topic of conversation was before she woke up. She takes a seat at the table, taps her fingers on the surface, her thoughts from the night before still stuck in her mind. She could feel her friends stare, waiting for her to say something. If she didn’t soon, Midoriya might burn the poor bacon.
“About what I said last night…” the tension in the room skyrockets, “I want to go through with it.”
Midoriya drops the tongs with a loud clang before he turns off the stove to spin around with wide eyes. “What?”
Uraraka feels a surge of irritation, turning to glare at Mina. “So you did tell him.”
“Of course I told him! He’s probably the only person that can talk you out of this stupid plan!” Mina motions her hands around wildly as she talks.
“It’s my decision to make, Mina! I can’t hide it from him like this forever, and this fixes that problem.”
All she had been thinking about lately was what would happen if he found out. He’d get scared, and he’d definitely pull away. She knows, if the roles were reversed, she would be furious if he kept something like this from her for so long. He might be mad enough to cut her out of his life forever. No matter how he reacts, she knows things will change between them, and she doesn’t want things to change. She can be happy, having this much of him.
“No.” It’s Midoriya who speaks up. “This doesn’t fix anything.”
“It’ll let him know I don’t want my soulmate and he won’t have to worry about it,” Uraraka balls her fists in her lap. Why can’t they see how much this is tearing her up?
“But you do want him,” Midoriya’s voice is soft, understanding, and that’s almost worse.
The tears fall from Uraraka’s eyes before she has a chance to try and stop them. Her friends rush to her side to wrap her in both of their arms. If nothing else, she would always have her friends, and she feels incredibly lucky that no matter what happens they will always be there for her.
Mina pulls back and claps her hands together.
“We need to have some fun!” She declares, rushing off only to return with her phone in her hand, typing frantically away. Midoirya and Uraraka exchange a look. Mina is an image of perfect concentration and then her phone dings, and a wide smile spreads across her face. “We’re going to a party!”
“Oh, Mina no.” Uraraka’s eyes still sting with the rest of her unshed tears. If there’s anything she’s not feeling up for right now, it’s a party.
“Yes! You’re in your last year of college, you’ll never get the chance to let loose like this ever again.” Mina points a finger at her, and then stocks off towards Uraraka’s room. “Come on! Let’s find you something sexy to wear.”
Uraraka sighs. Her ability to fight Mina was minuscule on most good days, and now her only option was to surrender. She jerks her head in Midoriya’s direction when she hears him laughing.
“I don’t know what you find so funny,’’ Uraraka chirps, “you’re coming too!”
His expression deflates. Uraraka grins, almost cynical. If she was reluctantly going tonight, she wasn’t going to go alone. Might as well have some fun while she’s at it. She brings out her own phone, shooting off a quick text.
[You]: What are your plans for tonight??
His response is almost instant.
[Shinsou]: Nothin, got any suggestions?
Her grin stretches wider. What was the old proverb about going further down the wrong road? Uraraka shrugs her reservations away. What do old wise men know anyway?
Typically, you wouldn’t find Uraraka Ochako at a party thrown by one of the liveliest Fraternities their college has to offer, especially not the one that her ex is a part of, but it’s an even rarer sight to see her refuse any of Mina’s whims. She doesn’t even have to beg too much for Shinsou and Midoriya to accompany her, to be fair. The two of them were equally as weak to her charm as she is to one bubblegum pink-haired girl.
The crowd inside the house is almost overwhelming, everyone nearly shoulder to shoulder, a red solo cup in each hand. There’s a table set up for beer pong shoved into one corner in the kitchen. There, a very tall man with the bottom half of his face covered in a dark bandana is staring daggers at a shorter boy at the other end of the table. Uraraka tilts her head at them, realizing he seems to have gotten distracted from their game, preferring to bother a girl that is leaning against the kitchen counter, waiting for her turn to pour herself a drink.
The girl looks incredibly uncomfortable, but it seems to go unnoticed by the shorter guy. He continues to lean further and further into the girl's space. Suddenly, tall-bandana-dude marches over, picks the shorter one up by the back of his shirt, and swiftly throws him out the back door into the wet grass. He slams the door to cut off the yells of protest and brushes his hands off against each other as the girl bows her thanks.
Uraraka hides a laugh behind her hand. “What’s so funny?” There’s a whisper close to her ear, making the hair on the back of her neck shoot up.
If Shinsou notices how she jumps a little to further the space between them, he doesn’t show it.
“Oh nothing,’’ she shrugs, “I just forget how fun this house is sometimes.”
“You’ve been here before?” he asks.
“Yeah, I— used to date someone who’s a member here.” It feels wrong somehow, to bring this up here, with him.
“Was it serious?” Shinsou says slowly, as if considering each word as it leaves his mouth.
“You can say that.” Uraraka feels a nervousness churn in her gut, her heartbeat inexplicably beginning to thud loudly in her ears. “I thought he was it for me, you know?”
“Oh.” His voice lacks any inflection. It gives her no indication of what he feels; it makes her feel uneasy.
There’s a flash of red and then suddenly Mina is squealing, much too loudly, from the other side of her.
“Ei!” she lets out as she’s lifted into the air.
“Hey!” drawls said red blur. “Ready to get crunk?”
Uraraka grins brightly, giggling. “Kiri, no one says that anymore!”
He shrugs, presses a quick kiss to Mina’s cheek, and scans his eyes over their little group. “Midoriya my man! Glad you could come! And…” He looks at Shinsou for a beat, brows furrowing slightly before his face shifts into his usual smile. “I haven’t seen you here before. What’s up! Name’s Kirishima Eijirou!”
Shinsou holds out his hand, which seems to be endlessly amusing to Kirishima. “Shinsou Hitoshi.”
Kirishima accepts Shinsou’s hand and shakes it roughly up and down. “A proper handshake! Very manly.” He stares at Uraraka with a wide smile, showing impossibly white teeth. “I like him.” And then he lunges at her, lifting her up in the air in the same manner he had done to Mina.
“And you!” he yells through laughter. “Haven’t seen you here in ages! What’s up with that?”
“Kirishima, put me down so I can breathe!” Uraraka couldn’t help but laugh. He quickly puts her down and sputters apologies. “And I think you know why.”
Kirishima puffs a breath of air through his lips in a pfft . “Don’t mind Bakubro, he’d never say it but I know he misses you too.”
“Not everyone is as friendly as you, Ei,” Uraraka chuckles, returning his warm smile.
“Speaking of spiky emotionally stunted gremlins... Where is he?” Mina raises her voice over the noise.
Kirishima juts his head towards the back where the bottles of liquor and various soft drinks are lined up. It takes Uraraka a moment to scan the area before her eyes fall on a head of spiky blond hair, and something heavy and nostalgic drops in her gut.
Mina bumps a shoulder into her. “Go say hi, we’ll catch up.”
Uraraka gulps and she’s moving towards Bakugou before her brain can catch up on the fact. She stops mere centimeters away from him, standing behind him. The sight of him is so familiar even though she hasn’t seen him in so long , she’s suddenly unsure if she should walk away or not. She also considers as she stands quiet, still, unmoving, she’s not even sure if he wants to see her—if coming to greet him is a good idea. She contemplates moving away for a moment, but she feels stuck in time.
Before she can make the decision to run away, he turns around, nearly bumping right into her. He curses and looks down at his drink to make sure none of it had spilled. “What the fuck watch where you’re—oh.” His eyes widen as they rise to her face. “Hey, Round Face.”
“Hey Bakugou,” she says, giving a slight smile before the corners of her mouth turn down as she frowns once she registers the nickname. “Don’t call me that.”
He scoffs. “Ok, Cheeks.” Uraraka juts her bottom lip out in a pout. His eyes flick down to her arm for a beat and then back up to her face. “What are you doing here?”
Uraraka rolls her eyes. There was never any use trying to break him of those stupid nicknames. Maybe she should count that as a good sign. “Mina.” She nods her head back in the direction of her friends.
Bakugou looks up, one corner of his mouth pulls up in a smirk, before his whole face abruptly contorts into a scowl. “You brought fucking Deku? And who invited that loser?”
“Izuku is my friend!’’ she huffs, “and who are you talking about?” She looks back to see that no one new had joined her little group. It’s still just Mina, Midoriya, and Shinsou—laughing at something Kirishima just said.
He points in their direction. “Him, weirdo with the dark circles.”
Uraraka chooses to ignore the jab. “Shinsou? He’s here with me.”
Bakugou’s eyes darken and narrow, brow crumpling even further inward. “Shinsou… the same one that’s—” His eyes jump to her arm again and back to her face. “Then what the hell is that for then?” He asks, motioning to her band.
The feeling to hide her soul band that’s hiding her soul mark creates a revolving loop of nerves and embarrassment that she’s not sure how to handle. She mumbles, “You wouldn’t understand.”
He breathes a harsh tch . “Seriously? The stalker dude from first year is your fucking soulmate?”
“What are you even talking about, Bakugou?”
Once he takes a long sip from his drink without looking away from her, his eyes switch from slight amusement to cold emotional indifference. “He was in that stupid astrology elective class you made me take, looked like he was one shove into a locker away from snapping every day.”
Uraraka snorts and rolls her eyes because, apparently, he’s never going to let that go. “It was astronomy and-” She stops. Wait, what? “Are you saying he was there? In the class?”
“Yeah, wouldn’t stop staring at you, never said a word.” He takes another sip of his drink. “Sat behind you for three months,’’ he rolls his eyes, “how did you not notice?”
She hadn't. Noticed him, that is. Her mind is pulled back to last summer, a story told around a table, a warm comforting heat searing across her skin from her hairline all the way down to her toes. His words had seemed so familiar and yet out of place, leaving her feeling like there was something she was missing, something she should know. A mental cloud that she couldn’t see past, now dissipating to make way for a clarity that smacks her in the chest like a hundred mile an hour softball.
She sucks in a quick breath.
“What the hell is wrong with you?” Bakugou asks but she barely registers the words. Uraraka looks around again for Shinsou but she can no longer see him anywhere.
Her eyes scan around frantically but she can’t place him anywhere in the crowd.
“Sorry I-” Her feet move her towards the back door she had seen the small creep get thrown out of earlier. “I have to-”
“Cheeks!” Bakugou calls after her but she’s already sprinting, already near the door. Her hand is on the handle when someone grabs her and spins her around.
“You have a problem,” Mina whispers, her tone urgent.
Uraraka doesn’t respond, head snapping side to side, her only focus is finding Shinsou.
“Shinsou.” And that gets her attention. “He asked about your mark.”
“What?” Uraraka feels a fresh wave of panic as her head snaps in Mina’s direction. “What did he ask specifically?”
“He wanted to know the story there.” She motions to where Bakugou is standing, now refilling his cup. “I think he thinks Kat is your soulmate.”
“What did you tell him?” The only thing Uraraka can think of that would be worse than Shinsou knowing it was his name on her arm, was him being told it was someone else's. Which sounds really stupid the more she thinks about it.
“I told him it wasn’t my story to tell.” The unsaid duh at the end of her sentence is too loud. “I asked him why he wanted to know. He didn’t say anything, just shrugged and wandered off.”
“Okay, thanks,” Uraraka says as she starts to hurry off again.
“But Chaks-” Mina’s words make her look back, only to find her chewing on her lip, looking unusually pensive. “You should really tell him.”
She bites the inside of her cheek, trying to shake off the sudden dread inside of her. That wasn’t an option. Considering his history with soulmates, Shinsou was likely nervous as to the nature of her relationship with hers. He didn’t know Bakugou, and if he thought he was her soulmate… he might be wondering if he was someone who had hurt her. Shinsou cared about her, that much she knew, just not in the same way she cared about him.
Only another reason to get rid of the damn thing altogether.
It doesn’t take her long to spot him after she steps outside. Despite the alcohol flowing freely through everyone’s veins, there weren’t many who would choose to sit out in the grass when the winter chill hadn’t quite loosened its grip on the night.
“Figured I’d find you out here,” Uraraka says quietly as to not scare him away. She takes a seat next to him, forcing herself to keep her eyes forward.
The last hues of the day are fading away as the nightfall comes with a whisper of perfect purple and black that grows into a comforting chorus of stars. It’s not quite spring yet, but the beginnings of it push at the frigid air.
The desolated street in front of them rests in silence as the starry black sky weeps strings of mist over it. Skinny, green trees on the roadside sway in the breeze, it tussles her hair around her and is just cold enough to cause the tip of her nose to sting. Wispy strings of clouds wrap around the moon, whose faint glow passes through, coloring them white to gray. The eerie stillness broken by the faint sounds of insects is a reminder that they aren’t truly alone.
Stars, wind, insects, yellow street lights—Uraraka’s senses are overloaded, but she doesn’t try to shut them out. She welcomes the shivery feeling of right now, and isn’t surprised when she feels Shinsou’s wide-eyed stare on her. Letting out a very careful breath, she then meets Shinsou’s gaze. Something about it sets Uraraka’s insides squirming, and she swallows. There’s no one out here right now but the two of them, nothing but the muffled sounds of the house music falling nearly muted on their ears.
“Did something happen? Because if someone made you uncomfortable, I’ll-”
“No,” Shinsou cuts her off. “That’s not it.” He looks away.
Uraraka draws her legs up to her chest and wraps her arms around them, linking her fingers together to stop a trembling that has nothing to do with the chill lingering in the air. She looks down into her cup, never having been filled, and her mouth suddenly feels bone dry. The silence stretches, the space around them feels infinite and too small all at once. Uraraka inhales deeply, letting it out slow and steadily.
“Mina told me what you’re planning on doing.” Shinsou’s words take her by surprise. He doesn’t have to elaborate; she knows exactly what he’s talking about and, oh - she’s going to kill Mina when they get home. Maybe Midoriya would give her an alibi, she thinks. She’d have to put out an ad for a new roommate though, which would be annoying.
“So?” Uraraka knows her annoyance is bleeding into her words but she doesn’t care. She doesn’t trust herself to look into his kind eyes and not come clean right then.
“Why?” The question comes out more pointed and hard than she had anticipated. “Who’s name is on your arm Uraraka?”
“It doesn’t matter!” she snaps, looking up at him a little too quickly. The last thing she wants is to fight with him, especially about this, but if it’ll change the direction this conversation is taking she’ll take the bullet.
Shinsou doesn’t seem to take her bait, his eyes soft as he looks at her. “I’m worried about you,” he says, voice soft and gentle. Even when she’s being contentious he’s still gentle, still so kind. Uraraka kind of wants to bury her head in his chest and let him hold her. “Do you know them? Have they hurt you?”
Based on what happened inside earlier, she knows what he’s implying, and a part of her wants to say yes and never have this conversation again. She can’t bring herself to do it. “It’s nothing like that,” she assures, shaking her head, “He’d never hurt me.”
Shinsou goes to speak, so she cuts him off.
“I thought out of anyone you would understand, you don’t want your soulmate.” Uraraka forces her mouth shut before the word either could tack itself to the end of that sentence, because that just wasn’t true, and she was tired of lying.
“You’re right, I don’t.” His words felt like a punch straight to her stomach. “But that’s different, you said your soulmate would never hurt you, so what’s keeping you from being with him?”
Everything. She shakes her head. “My soulmate doesn’t want me.” And then she did let herself fall towards him, pressing her forehead into his shoulder so he could wrap his arms around her.
This is so wrong , she thinks, but she doesn’t pull away. Shinsou rubs comforting circles into her back and whispers sweet nothings into her hair. She lets herself sink into his embrace, lets herself feel loved by him. Uraraka knows she is loved by him, she’d have to be a bigger idiot than she is to not see it, but it’s not in the way that she wants.
The way his arms fit around her feels heavenly in a way Uraraka can feel herself getting used to, can feel herself getting addicted to it. So she allows herself a few more breaths of the scent of him before she pulls back.
She needs to pull herself together, so she quickly changes the topic to something else that has been nagging at the back of her mind these past few weeks. Something safer and not soul-mate related. “Everything’s going to change soon.”
“Hm?” Shinsou tilts his head towards her.
Uraraka smiles, but she doesn’t look up. “We’ll all be graduating soon, going off in different directions...”
“Yeah.”
Uraraka glances at Shinsou sidelong, wondering. “Does it scare you?”
Shinsou holds her gaze for a beat before averting his eyes, looking down at his hands. “A little.”
“Yeah, me too.”
Shinsou is still staring at his hands, eyebrows drawn in, his shoulders hitched up nearly to his ears. “You mean finding work in your field, right?”
“Not just that,” Uraraka says. Their eyes lock again. All the gale-force winds in the world couldn’t make Uraraka’s lungs feel full at that moment. It sounds like Shinsou is having just as much trouble regulating his breathing, though, so she doesn’t feel embarrassed at the way her breath only seems to come out in shuddering sighs.
Uraraka sees something shift in Shinsou’s eyes, some kind of recognition that wasn’t there before.
“You shouldn’t be,” he says, and then he looks away again. “Scared, that is.” His cheeks are flushed. “You don't have to- I’m not gonna…” He breathes a quick breath through his nose. “We can just ignore it.”
“Ignore what?” Uraraka asks, because she wasn’t sure there was another it and she can’t fathom how Shinsou would have found out about the it that’s been plaguing her mind for months, and the way he’s talking makes it sound like there’s something that’s been there for a long time.
Shinsou falls silent, the air around him contemplative. He looks up away from her, eyes settling on the moon, as if it holds all the secrets Uraraka can’t see. When he looks back at her, his neutral veneer is gone, a hard determination setting them alight as if illuminated by the stars themselves.
Uraraka holds her breath, a wave of anxiousness swells in her veins. Shinsou shuffles where he sits, eyebrows knit in the shallowest furrow. His lips are pulled taut—a subtle tell she has come to learn means he has something he wants to say, but before he can get any words out there’s a loud scoff behind them.
“Of course you’re out here with this loser,” a gruff voice sounds behind them. Uraraka turns to see an angry-looking Bakugou walking towards them. His eyes flick between Shinsou and Uraraka, the muscles in his face pull tighter than his usual scowl. “So, did you tell him then?”
Uraraka can feel Shinsou looking at her, silently asking a question she can’t answer. So she doesn’t look back, keeping her eyes narrowed on Bakugou instead. “I don’t know what you’re talking about.”
He laughs, an ugly, broken sound. “I think you do.”
“Bakugou…” she warns. Uraraka stands up to look at him face to face, a cold dread settles over her.
He glares down at her, ruby eyes burning holes right through her. “You said I didn’t understand, so enlighten me. What don’t I understand?”
“Don’t.” Her vision blurs, tears stinging at the corners of her eyes a mix of anger and dread, threatening to fall.
He sneers down at her. “What’s wrong, Cheeks? Afraid I’m going to expose your little game?”
Uraraka can see a group of people gathering out of her peripherals but she doesn’t care. The panic inside her grows stronger and her mental facilities begin to give way to emotion. The constricted feelings grow, as if she’s being suffocated by the air around her.
“I’m not playing any game.”
“So, you’re willing to ignore destiny , just not with me?” There’s a hand on Bakugou’s shoulder but he jerks and shoves it away.
“Bro…” Kirishima is next to him, face pinched in concern.
“Bakugou, please…” Her voice cracks and she tries to swallow the heavy lump in her throat to no avail.
Bakugou turns to glare at Shinsou. “Have you wondered why she’s never shown you her damn mark? Huh? Or are you too stupid to realize-”
“Katsuki!” Uraraka screams, meeting him toe to toe, so close her chest is nearly pressing against him. Bakugou whips his head back around to stare at her with an expression of pure loathing, like all the love isn’t only lost but transformed into a powerful hatred.
She knows nothing good will happen next. Tears are streaming freely down her face now, but Bakugou is unmoving, face contorted in an ugly grimace.
He tchs softly, and she can smell the alcohol on his breath. He drops his voice low as he asks, “Was it all lies too?”
Uraraka sees a hint of doubt flicker in his eyes. There’s a flash of something resembling hurt there, but it disappears just as fast, as if it hadn’t been there at all. She knows there’s nothing she can say, not when he’s like this, that will help the situation; but when her silence stretches he avoids her eyes, looking somewhere past her ear instead.
“Please…” she whispers softly so only he can hear, but his face doesn’t waver again.
Bakugou locks his eyes on Shinsou in a piercing cold stare. “You’re her soulmate.” The words come out more of a growl, his teeth clenched. The air around them stills, as if the night is holding its breath. “Go ahead, ask her yourself.”
As Uraraka spins around to look at Shinsou, a denial on the tip of her tongue, she feels like a child again, shaking, terrified.
“I…” She can’t get the words out, doesn’t know if he will be able to hear her over the sound of her heart beating out of her chest. At this point, she can barely hear the commotion around them over the roaring sound of her blood pumping violently and cold as ice through her veins.
He’s not looking at her, not at first, staring daggers towards Bakugou with his fists clenched so hard his knuckles are white. Uraraka thinks he might charge at him, but then he shifts his eyes to her face, expression softening but eyebrows pulled taut as if he’s missing a page of a book and can’t decipher what’s in front of him. His eyes flit around her face as if searching for the answers.
Shinsou must find what he’s looking for in her expression because his eyebrows shoot up, hands going slack at his sides, and his face is immediately drained of color.
No.
“Uraraka?” he whispers and his voice is soft and shaky.
No, no, no.
Uraraka tries to speak but nothing comes out, her mouth is open but it doesn’t make a sound. Her heart feels like it will pound itself right out of her chest, or jump right up her throat if she tries to speak.
So, instead, she runs; not bothering to check which direction she is headed, her only priority is to get as far away as fast as she can. Uraraka can hear different voices call out after her, but she doesn’t stop and she doesn't look back.
As Uraraka runs off, Mina takes the opportunity to turn on Bakugou, who is now looking angrily down at his feet. “What the fuck is your problem, Bakugou?”
His head snapped up, the heat in his eyes only wavering when he came face to face with Mina’s wrath. “What? He deserved to-”
“To what? Don’t pretend you did this for anyone other than yourself,” Mina spits. She holds Bakugou’s gaze, narrowed eyes meeting narrowed eyes, before she takes the drink in her hand and splashes it directly into his face. Then she turns and chases off after her friend.
“What the fuck!” he yells, swinging his head around to look at Kirishima, who was watching the whole exchange with wide eyes.
“Don’t look at me bro! I think you had that one coming.” He slings his arm around his beer-covered friend's shoulders and drags him back towards the house.
“Whatever.” Bakugou tchs softly and looks away in a pout, not unlike one of a petulant child.
Shinsou is still stunned, rooted in his spot. He’s unsure of what he should do, feeling a weird mixture of terribly sad and disappointed but also mad . His feet begin to move before he has really made up his mind, following the direction Uraraka had gone. There’s a hand on his shoulder and he looks over to see Midoriya, kind eyes full of sympathy.
“I know this is… a lot right now,” Midoriya says, slow and careful with his words. “But maybe give her just a bit of time, and talk to her tomorrow?”
Shinsou nods, understanding the subtle order behind the request. He’s her best friend, after all, and he has to do what he thinks is best in order to protect her.
Midoriya gives him a sad smile that would look pitying if Shinsou didn’t know better, before he also runs off in the direction Mina and Uraraka had gone.
Shinsou takes a deep breath and looks around the now empty yard. Yeah, he could also use some time to clear his head. It was best he got all his scattered thoughts together before he confronted Uraraka tomorrow.
Her phone rings, just as it has multiple times a day for two weeks straight. Just like every other time, Uraraka doesn’t answer.
“Are you going to answer that?”
Uraraka spins around to see her usually bubbly roommate standing like an ominous shadow in the doorway to her bedroom. “It’s better this way.” She had done a lot of crying that first night, and for a few subsequent nights after that. Truth be told, she didn’t expect Shinsou to run after her, but the fact that he didn’t breaks her heart more than she’d like to admit. “I don’t need to hear how much he hates me.”
“Chaks…”
“I love him Mina, I really do,” Uraraka says, swallowing down. “I thought I would be fine just being friends, but I wasn’t. I don’t know when or how I fell so fast and hard, but he’s sweet and funny, he loves his family, and it felt like I was in a damn dream every time I was around him. And I ruined everything because of this stupid lie.”
“I’m so sorry babe,” Mina says, pushing off the doorway to wrap her arms loosely around Uraraka’s back. “Do you think maybe, he could feel the same way about you?”
“I lied to him, Mina, for nine months.’’ She blinks, feeling her eyes prickle with tears she quickly swallows down. “I don’t think he has anything nice he wants to say to me at this point.”
“Oh, Ochako,” Mina breathes, leaning more into her friend to hook her chin on Uraraka’s shoulder. “Just give it a little time, okay? At least think about hearing what he has to say before you go.”
Uraraka just sighs, letting Mina give her a tight hug. She tries to listen to her words, but the truth is that she’s not feeling very hopeful right now. Part of her wants to be optimistic, but the betrayed look on Shinsou’s face is still fresh in her mind and the conversation that follows something like that is not one she wants to have.
Mina gives her another squeeze, before dropping her arms and flinging herself down on Uraraka’s bed. The previously neatly folded clothes end up in a scattered mess around her. “I can’t believe you’re leaving me.”
“Mina-”
“No! I can’t believe you’re leaving me!” Mina repeats with a pout, crossing her arms over her chest. “Who the hell am I going to hang out with when you’re gone?”
“Oh I don’t know, Izuku? Or what about your very in love with you, boyfriend?” Uraraka offers, a smile tugging up her lips.
Mina scrunches her nose. “But they’re not you! I can’t….” She waves a hand in the air above her face. “Talk about the same stuff with them.”
Uraraka can’t help but huff out a laugh, both endeared and amused.
“Like— I’m really happy for you chasing your dreams or whatever, but I still can’t believe you’re leaving me,” Mina says. She sighs through her nose. “Hug?”
Uraraka doesn’t reply, at least not verbally. Instead, she throws herself in Mina’s arms, throwing the laundry into further disarray.
“I’m going to miss you so much,” Mina says, her cheek squished against the crook of Uraraka’s neck. “Say it back.”
Uraraka laughs. “I’m going to miss you too.”
“But since I’m your best friend ever I’m going to help you practice your English so when you get to America you don’t look like some dumb snobby tourist,” she carries on.
Uraraka grimaces. “Wow— how selfless of you.”
“I know, I’m the best you’ll ever have and you’re lucky to have me in your life,” Mina says as she pulls back, throwing a smile at her.
Uraraka’s phone pings with a new notification then. She sighs, picking it up to delete the message just as she’s done with the countless others, but when her eyes lock on the screen her whole body goes stiff.
“What?” Mina sits up, sensing her friend’s change in demeanor. “Shinsou again?”
“No…” Uraraka can’t seem to form words so she simply tilts the phone towards Mina, whose eyes go wide.
“Woah.”
“I know!”
“Are you going to reply?”
“I don’t… know.”
Uraraka can’t drag her eyes away from the message, words forming short sentences she never in her life thought she would read.
[Explody-asshole]: Hey Cheeks… look. I’m sorry. Really sorry. I fucked up. Can we talk?
She looks back to Mina. “Did you do this?” Mina shakes her head. “Was it Kiri?” Mina shrugs.
Uraraka groans and throws herself back on her mattress among the clothes, wishing she could just become one with the laundry and get tossed right into a washing machine with them. Maybe that would clear her head.
She really is not in the mood to deal with Bakugou ever again, but he had apologized— something he had never done before willingly. So, while a part of her was still mad and hurt by what he did, a bigger part of her was curious about what would bring on this sudden show of empathy. She shoots back her reply in the form of a question.
[You]: I can meet today, place and time?
If he was serious, he could make time. She has her answer in less than two minutes.
[Explody-asshole]: Ground up cafe. Two hours.
If Uraraka didn’t think fate had a twisted sense of humor before, she did now as she stared down at the name of the cafe she had met Shinsou at all those months ago. She sent him back a solitary thumbs up emoji, hoping he got the subtle middle finger embedded in the action; she wasn’t ready to let him off the hook completely yet.
All of the anger and the sadness comes back to her as she sees Bakugou standing outside the cafe waiting for her. He doesn’t notice her approach, so when she’s right in front of him she clears her throat.
The look on his face when he looks up at her is not unlike a child being caught in the sweets jar after they had been told no.
“Oh shit, sorry.” He quickly shoves his phone in his pocket and opens the door for her.
“Thank you,” she says dryly, with a curt nod. She’s mad, not rude.
They sit at a table in the back, away from most of the crowd, and she waits for him to break the silence first.
Bakugou looks like he hasn’t slept much the last two weeks either, and he’s uncharacteristically fidgety under the table. He coughs into his hand. “I’m sorry.”
“You said.”
“I’m really fucking sorry.”
“Bakugou…” Uraraka sighs, frustration leaking through. “As fun as it is to listen to you say ‘sorry’ without Kirishima pressing a knife to your back, what do you need to say that you couldn’t have said over text?” She purses her lips.
His eyebrows are pulled tight, and she knows that he’s about to say something he’d rather not. “Do you love him?”
That takes her aback. “What does that have to do with anything?”
“Just…” He ducks his head and runs his hands through his hair. This is hard for him, she knows. “Do you?”
Maybe it was her talk earlier with Mina, maybe she’s just tired of holding all of it inside. She definitely doesn’t owe a damn thing to Bakugou, but the words spill out faster than she can catch them. “Yes.” She exhales a huge breath she feels she’s been holding since last summer. “I was so focused on keeping my secret because I didn’t want to hurt him, I forgot about his feelings in all of this… but I— I fell for him harder than I’ve fallen for anyone in all my life.”
Bakugou’s face falls slightly, and Uraraka knows that probably hit a little too close to home, considering their history... but he did ask. “And you want to be with him?”
“I do,” Uraraka swallows, “You have no idea how much I regret ever hiding it from him in the first place.” She can feel the pinprick of tears in the corner of her eyes. God, she is so sick of crying.
Bakugou takes a deep breath. He shifts around uncomfortably in his seat, his eyes trail off to something behind her before focusing on Uraraka again. “Then why are you leaving?”
She finds herself unable to stop this flow of her deepest fears from tumbling from her mouth. Uraraka forgot how easy it was to talk to the boy in front of her. “Because I’m scared! He’s been through so much and he’s still so good, Bakugou. I can’t stay here and listen to him say how much I hurt him, like everyone else in his life… I can’t-”
“So you think leaving is better?” The question doesn’t come from Bakugou, but behind her instead. Asked by a voice that is much too familiar.
Her blood goes cold, the ringing in her ears drowns out all the noise around her. Her brain loses the ability to process any emotional input, leaving her feeling like the human equivalent of a dropped signal tone.
When she finally regains control of her motor functions, Uraraka turns around slowly, and nothing could have prepared her for how her heart drops as she sees Shinsou standing there behind her. The two of them stare at each other for a moment, Uraraka’s lips parted but not a single sound slipping through them. Her head jerks back around to glare at Bakugou, to yell at him, to demand to know what the hell he’s playing at, but he’s gone.
Uraraka stands up, sending her chair screeching across the linoleum floor.
She makes it out the door and around the corner into an alley before she feels a hand on her elbow. She whirls around to face Shinsou, his face pinched in concern, but there’s also anger there and no— this she can’t handle.
“Stop running from me!” Shinsou’s voice raises before he takes a steadying breath and then in a tone that’s much more low and even, “Please.”
She finds herself unable to meet his gaze, choosing to stare at her feet instead. “I know I’m a coward! But I can’t-”
“Ochako.” Her name sounds like a plea from his mouth, and it stops her short. “What you said, was it true?”
“What are you doing here?” Uraraka asks, ignoring his question.
Shinsou huffs. “I couldn’t get a hold of you, so I started asking around. The angry dude, Bakugou, ended up reaching out to me. I guess he knows Denki.” He blinks at her.
Bakugou, damn you. “But why are you here ?”
“When you never answered my calls, or returned any of my texts… I was going to leave you alone, I didn’t want to push where I wasn’t wanted, but Bakugou thought it was a good idea because… shit, Ochako. Is it true?”
Breathe, Ochako, breathe. “You know it is,” she says, finally managing to look at him.
“No, I don't,” Shinsou insists. “I don’t. I know you lied. I know that, yes, but this part— everything you said in the cafe… you really mean that?”
“I really mean that,” Uraraka’s voice comes out so soft she’s worried he didn’t hear her, but his shoulders drop, like the tension zapped out of them. “Every single word.”
The two of them are silent for a moment, standing in the middle of the cafe alleyway. Shinsou’s arms hang to each side of his body, now fully relaxed.
“Were you ever going to tell me?” he asks.
“I was—I don’t know, I’d like to think that I would have eventually.” Uraraka looks down at the ground again. “I just… didn’t want to lose you, even if I couldn’t have you in the way I wanted.”
“I see,” Shinsou replies, his voice soft.
“Do you hate me?”
Shinsou quirks an eyebrow at her before shaking his head. “I could never hate you.”
“A-and what you said before, did you mean that?” She takes a shaky breath; this was it. This was the part she’s spent the last two weeks— no, the last nine months dreading. She meets his gaze once again, but instead of the pity she expected to see in his eyes there was only confusion.
“I’m not sure what you mean.”
“About- you said, you didn’t want whoever your soulmate was.” Uraraka found herself instinctively moving to make sure her mark was covered, but stopped herself. It didn’t matter anymore, he knows.
“No, that’s not-” He presses his lips into a fine line. “Well, yes… but there’s more to it than that.”
“Then what-”
“Ochako,” he sighs, closing his eyes. “I did mean what I said, when I said I didn’t want my soulmate. But the reason I said that was… why would I ever want to go looking for someone else when I had you right there next to me?”
Uraraka blinks a few times, not sure she was hearing him correctly. But then he opens his eyes, and they’re soft and gentle like they always are for her.
He takes a step towards her. “When you told me your soulmate didn’t want you, it didn’t make any sense, because who could know you and not want you?” He is still watching her with those gentle, indigo eyes of his, though not as severely as before.
“I’m sorry I didn’t tell you,” she murmurs, shaking her head, a few stray tears run down her cheeks. “I didn’t know how…”
“I know,” he whispers, stepping further into her space.
“You’re not mad?”
“I was,” Shinsou says. The words make Uraraka’s chest tighten a little. “You did keep this from me for almost a year.”
Uraraka chuckles involuntarily. “I wanted to tell you so many times, I wish that I would have.”
“Yeah?” Shinsou asks, taking another step forward. He’s close enough to touch now.
“Yeah,” Uraraka replies, breathless.
He lifts a hand tentatively, but stops when it’s midway towards her. “Can I...?”
“Yes,” Uraraka says, heart in her throat. Shinsou trails off, but she knows what he’s asking. She hopes she knows what he’s asking.
Shinsou moves to close the remaining distance between them, placing one of his palms on Uraraka’s hip, and with the other he cups her jaw. “I really like you, Ochako,’’ his voice is soft, but steady, “I think I might even love you, think I might have for a long time now.”
Uraraka scoffs, feeling her face alight with heat. “You’re just saying that.”
“I’m not. I mean it,” Shinsou tells her, his eyes serious as they stare into hers. “I wanted to ignore the way I felt, because I didn’t think this is something that you wanted. Now that I know you fell for me as hard as I fell for you, I don’t want to ignore it. Not when I know I could have this.” He trails a thumb against her cheek, wiping away one of her tears and unleashing the butterflies in Uraraka’s stomach. She holds her breath, searches his eyes for any sign of panic or fear, but finds none.
Uraraka exhales a shaky laugh. “I don’t want you to ignore it.”
“So then, can I kiss you?” He asks.
Uraraka’s heart skips a beat at the question, gaze reflexively flickering down to Shinsou’s lips. That only makes her pulse quicken more, causing her to suck in a breath. She leans forward instead of replying, her hands finding his shoulders and then wrapping around his neck as their lips meet in a sweet lingering kiss, it makes something burst into radiance behind Uraraka’s rib cage. The relief that washes over her is almost as sweet after months of longing and beating herself up over keeping part of herself hidden from him. She threads her fingers through the hair at the nape of his neck, feels him sigh against her lips.
They rest their foreheads against each other after they break apart, quiet for a second. Uraraka can’t help but feel like her skin is on fire everywhere Shinsou is touching her.
“Can we make a deal?” he asks, words mumbled right against Uraraka’s lips. “No more secrets, no more hiding things, we both talk to each other about how we feel, no matter what.”
“I promise,” she says, making Shinsou smile. Uraraka smiles too, and then leans on her toes to press her lips to his once more in a brief peck. When she pulls back she’s met with the biggest toothy grin she’s ever seen on his face, and it makes something inside her stir. “I like you so much.”
“I like you so much more,” Shinsou replies. Uraraka snorts. “And hey, Ochako?”
“Yeah?”
“Are we going to stand here in this alley all day? Or can we go back to your place?” Shinsou raises an eyebrow at her, teasing.
Her face flushes. “Oh! Yeah, of course.” They both laugh as they walk back towards the street, hand in hand.
“Great, because I could use a nap.” Shinsou yawns, stretching his free arm behind his head.
Uraraka bumps into him, causing him to stumble over his feet a few paces. The smiles never leave their faces. Mina’s going to have a field day, and she really needs to remember to send Bakugou a thank you text soon.
She chirps, “By all means, make yourself at home.”
And Uraraka knows he will. She can tell by the way Shinsou presses closer to her the whole way back, in the way his thumb trails over her knuckles every few minutes, by the way her own heart rate seems to spike every time he does—she knows Shinsou will stay. Because there is no way in hell Uraraka is ever letting him go.