Chapter Text
Nagito Komaeda was spiraling.
This wasn’t exactly anything new, but the lucky student could tell that this particular episode was getting much more out of control than his usual ones. He was currently curled up and rocking himself on the corner of his bed, arms wrapped tightly around his knees and hands pulling painfully at his hair. He could feel another laugh force its way out of his lungs before morphing into a desperate sob.
He was so stupid.
A stupid, idiot, useless, waste of space.
He was nothing more than a fraud. A liar. An intruder of Hope’s Peak, tainting its hope with his filthy, worthless presence. The only thing he ever did was hurt others with his curse of a “talent”. And now, on top of that, he insulted the most amazing person he’d ever met, all because he couldn’t keep his blasphemous crush to himself.
Nagito curled in on himself tighter, his shaking growing more intense as he though of his crush. Izuru Kamakura. The most hopeful student in the school. Possibly the most hopeful person in the entire world. He was stunningly agile, inspiringly intelligent, and absolutely gorgeous. But more than any of that, Izuru was the only person to ever look at Nagito without disgust, contempt, or fear after hearing his “unorthodox” beliefs. In fact, the prodigy almost looked… interested (though Nagito knew his eyes must have been playing tricks on him). Nagito had never felt happier, more understood and at peace with himself, than when he was with the Ultimate Hope. But now he’d gone and messed it up, just like everything else in his pitiful excuse for a life.
Another laugh-sob escaped Nagito’s lips and his breathing picked up even faster. Not only was Izuru now aware of his pathetic crush, he also knew just how useless and weak he was due to his illnesses. He should have realized that someone as brilliant as Izuru would have picked up on it, but he was foolishly caught by surprise and panicked as a result, making an even bigger fool of himself. Izuru had only come to the fountain out of misplaced pity for a dying classmate and instead of being rewarded for his kindness, he was bombarded with a hideous display of disrespect . One so utterly despicable that he couldn’t even be in the same vicinity as Nagito and quickly ran away from the repulsive lucky student.
Just as Nagito’s panic attack reached its worst point, the teen began to hear a faint noise, gradually growing louder. The noise was steady and even, and though Nagito’s brain desperately tried to ignore it in favor of his own frantic thoughts, a sudden pressure on his shoulders grounded him enough to attempt to listen and try to understand. His efforts soon paid off as he was able to recognize the noise as a voice.
“I need you to breathe, Nagito. Can you do that?”
The voice was slow, calm, and so familiar. Following its advice, Nagito gulped down a breath of air and the burning in his lungs he hadn’t even realized was there lessened. Had he really stopped breathing?
“Good. Now, breathe in and out when I tell you, alright? In… and out… In… and out…”
Nagito followed the voice’s instructions. At first, his rapid breathing refused to cooperate, but after a few minutes, his breaths coincided with the voice’s directions and he could feel himself gaining a bit more control.
“Well done, Nagito. Now, focus. Can you see me?”
Focusing on sight was a struggle. Every time Nagito would try to focus on what was in front of him, his breathing would once again pick up along with his thoughts and the voice would have to help him calm it once more. Though It felt like hours to Nagito, the voice remained calm and gentle, never once expressing annoyance or exasperation. It was this fact that gradually allowed him to calm down enough to focus on what was in front of him.
Or rather, who.
Izuru Kamakura was sitting on Nagito’s bed, directly in front of him and firmly gripping his shoulders. Nagito immediately began panicking once more, before Izuru’s voice once again brought him out of his frenzied state.
“It’s alright, Nagito. You’re okay. Everything will be okay. Just breathe and focus.”
Though his crush’s presence at first brought back Nagito’s manic thoughts, Izuru’s gentle words and tone managed to cut through the chaos of his mind. A sudden wave of exhaustion hit the lucky student, as he slumped down, focusing on slowing his breathing further as well as the pressure of Izuru’s grasp in a final attempt to ground himself, all the while Izuru spoke soft words of encouragement. When he was finally sure that the episode had fully passed, Nagito looked up to once again face Izuru, shame flooding through him.
“I’m sorry you had to see that,” Nagito murmured, looking down in embarrassment. He already felt like a burden before, but now here he was, taking up more of Izuru’s precious time and showing just how much of a mess he really was. The teen gripped his upper arm roughly, nails digging into the skin as he let out a strained laugh. He was such a worthless, hopeless, piece of-
Nagito was shocked out of entering another spiral by Izuru suddenly grabbing his face, forcing the lucky student to look into his piercing red eyes.
“You should not be sorry. I am the one who should apologize,” Izuru said sternly, his gaze only growing in intensity.
“W-huh?” Nagito stammered, completely taken by surprise and more than a little flustered about the sudden contact. “What do you have to apologize about?”
Izuru’s expression along with his hands fell and if Nagito didn’t know any better, he would say that the stoic Ultimate Talent almost looked… guilty.
“I… Should not have run after hearing your confession. It was inconsiderate of me, especially as I could tell you were in great distress upon learning I knew of your conditions.”
Nagito couldn’t help but flinch at the reminder. God, he must have looked so pathetic. “I’m not sure why I was so surprised,” he admitted, “I should have known better than to assume I could hide anything from the Ultimate Talent. Ha ha… ha…”
“Still, I should have been more tactful in my approach, especially considering the sensitivity of the subject. While I do posses many talents as my title suggests, I am not infallible. That being said-“ Izuru looked away, his hands reaching for his long hair to fiddle with in something that resembled a nervous gesture. “-while I am observant, there are facts that I may overlook.” Izuru paused, and it was only because Nagito was sitting so close he could see red begin to tinge his cheeks, “Your feelings, for example, took me by surprise. That surprise was the reasoning behind my… sudden departure.”
Nagito felt himself deflate. “I see…” he said, voice flat. So he was right. Izuru had run from horror at his confession. The confirmation of his fears hurt. A lot. Though he didn’t know what he had expected, as he already knew that someone as wonderful as Izuru would never feel anything but disgust toward him. He couldn’t help the hot tears from streaming down his face, not even bothering to wipe them away.
He was shocked out of his self-pity by Izuru grabbing his face again, though this time it was gentle and soft. Nagito almost gasped at the expression he wore. Typically straight-faced and bored, Izuru’s eyes shone with care and worry as he tenderly wiped the tears from his cheeks.
“Do not misunderstand,” Izuru spoke softly, “While I was surprised, it was not… unpleasant news. You have always been an enigma to me, Nagito. One who could interest and fascinate me when nothing else could.” He suddenly smirked and reached a hand up to ruffle through Nagito’s unruly white hair, causing the poor boy to go red in the face. “And I have always wanted to do that. You are not ugly as you claim to be. Quite the opposite in fact. With all that in mind, I want you to know that I would be more than willing to attempt a romantic partnership with you.”
Nagito’s face felt like it was on fire as his mouth opened and closed repeatedly, unable to find any words. Izuru… reciprocated his feelings????? It felt too good to be true, which in Nagito’s life was always the case. Still, he couldn’t help a large grin from spreading across his face as he giggled with pure excitement and joy. This was… amazing! The best thing that has ever happened to him! Images flashed through his head. School dances! Holidays! Anniversaries! Perhaps one day they could move in together! Get married! For once in his entire life, he was eagerly looking forward to the future! …Before it hit him.
He had no future.
He had cancer.
He only had six months left to live.
His smile left as soon as it came, his shining hope replaced by crushing despair. He couldn’t even find it in himself to laugh at the cruelty of it all.
Izuru, noticing his sudden change in mood, frowned. “Is something troubling you?”
“Thank you, Izuru, for your kindness,” Nagito whispered, voice broken and eyes downcast. “But would you really want to go out with someone who’s going to die in six months anyways? It would just be a waste of your time…”
It was then that Izuru did something that Nagito was’t expecting. The prodigy chuckled. Nagito looked back up in confession and was met with a smile and kind, amused eyes. “I already have a solution for that. I’ve been working with Yasuke Matsuda and Seiko Kimura on a cure. It should be ready any day now.”
Nagito’s breath caught in his throat. He was going to be cured. He would have a future after all!
The lucky student let out a loud squeal before tackling Izuru in a hug, causing them both to fall to the floor in a heap. Going by his expression, it seemed Nagito had managed to take Izuru by surprise yet again, and the two laughed at the white haired boy’s antics.
On Monday, the two walked to class hand-in-hand, and Hajime begrudgingly handed his girlfriend ¥13000.