Chapter Text
His mother's words rang in his ears as Wilhelm disconnected from the call, fresh tears blurring his vision with every blink.
"I'm protecting you. I'm protecting our family, the monarchy, and our legacy. The only thing that can give Erik's death any kind of mean-"
It wasn't fair.
None of this was fucking fair.
It was as if everyone around him had left him at the worst possible time. When the video had first been leaked, Wilhelm had not imagined that things could possibly get any worse. But every passing day seemed to be proving him wrong. First the isolation. Being dragged back to the palace to face the press. His mother, telling him exactly what she thought. Instructing him on exactly what he should do. Feeding him lines like an actor on set. Then came the denial. Having to face the cameras and tell them it was never him in the first place. Having to tell them he had never been in a relationship. Had never wanted one while at school. Every line felt like a punch to his gut. But he had to push on. For his family. For the monarchy. The same monarchy which had outed him in the first place.
Wilhelm's mind was racing.
He had no idea what to do.
For the hundredth time in only a few days, he wished Erik was there by his side. He wished he could talk just once more to his big brother. He knew deep down what Erik would have told him: just to be himself, but how could he be himself when he wasn't sure who that even was? All his life people had waited on him hand and foot. All his life he had been told he was special. Told he was above others. That he had a reputation to uphold. A legacy. But that was all his family. None of it was him. Not the real him, anyway. The only time in all his years he had felt the most alive, the most true to his core was when he was with-
But no.
Simon had told him he wouldn't be his secret.
And even though it had hurt to hear. Even though it had felt like the last nail in the coffin, Wilhelm had come to understand. Simon deserved so much more than to be hidden in the shadows. He deserved so much more than to be the forbidden romance behind closed doors that no one knew about. He deserved to be loved, and appreciated, and to be seen for exactly who he was. The boy who had stolen the Prince's heart. Simon was ready to take that leap, he had all but said the words. It was Wilhelm who wasn't ready. It was Wilhelm who was still trying to protect all those around him. Both Simon and the perfect image his family had created. Letting the excuse of protecting them all make it okay for him to be miserable. But it was clear now. That's all "protecting them" was. An excuse.
It was time to do something for himself for once.
Time to try to live his truth.
He only prayed there was still time to fix this, as he opened his phone and swiped across to Simon's contact before hitting call. "Please pick up, please pick up," he whispered under his breath as the phone dialled, and continued to ring. He swore under his breath as the phone went to voicemail, before hanging up and trying again. The dial tone was loud against the night air, the only noise around, save for Wilhelm's uneven breathing, and the blood he could hear pumping in his veins. "Please pick up Simon, please don't let me be too late."
The gentle click at the end of the line was all that told Wilhelm his call had been answered.
"Simon?"
"Wille?"
"Yes, yes, it's me."
"Wille it's the middle of the night."
"I know, I just," Wilhelm broke off as his breath shuddered and fresh tears continued to roll down his face.
"Wille, are you okay? Is everything alright?"
"No, no Simon, it's not alright. Nothing's alright. It's fucked, Simon. It's all fucked. Everything is just-"
"Fucked?"
"Yes," Wilhelm said with a depressed chuckle. A few seconds of silence fell before he continued. "Everything is fucked and I don't know what to do."
"Where are you?"
"Hillerska. Outside the dorms."
"Could you meet me by the lake?"
"Yes, yes, I can do that."
"I'm on my way, Wille. I'll be there before you even know it."
By the time Simon had made his way up to the school and by the lake, it was well into the early hours of the morning. Wilhelm was sitting by the water's edge, staring out across the surface of the water. Not wanting to disturb him, Simon kept his footsteps quiet until he reached Wilhelm, and sat down beside him. In an instant, Wilhelm fell into Simon's arms. The tears that had not long ago stopped once again fell, as his body shook with sobs. His head tucked into Simon's chest as Simon's arms held him close, almost in a promise that he would never let go. They stayed that way for a while. Simon rubbing slow circles on Wilhelm's back as he whispered soft reassurances into his hair. When Wilhelms tears had stopped, and his breathing had slowed, only then did Simon begin to speak.
"What happened, Wille?" Simon asked softly. "I want to help you."
"Felice figured out who leaked the video," Wilhelm sniffled as he moved back so he could look into Simon's eyes. Simon was silent as he waited for Wilhelm to continue. "It was August. There were pixels on the video from his broken phone, the same as in every one of his photos online. I confronted him about it, and she was right. It was him." Wilhelm looked out across the lake in front of him. "I thought he was my friend. I thought he was my family. But what sort of family would do that to each other? What sort of person would deliberately ruin someone's life if they supposedly cared about each other?"
Simon took Wilhelm's hand in his, and began to gently caress the back of his hand.
"I rang my mother, to tell her what I had found out, but she already knew, Simon. She said she'd known for days. She said it wasn't worth it to go public. She said she was protecting me. Protecting the royal family, and our legacy," Wilhelm stopped, still looking out across the calm water. "She said that she was doing the only thing that could give Erik's death any meaning."
"That's bullshit, Wille," Simon said, letting go of Wilhelm's hand so he could turn his head to face him. "This isn't protecting you. This is hurting you. What they're saying isn't true."
"In their eyes it is."
"And in yours?"
"If Erik were here he would tell me to be true to myself. I know it. That's what would give his death meaning," Wilhelm said, after a deep breath.
"And what would being true to yourself mean?"
Wilhelm took Simon's hands in his. "It would mean fighting for the things, the people, that make me happy. It would mean no more hiding my true self in the shadows, while pretending to be someone I'm not. I want to be proud of who I am. I want to be open about it. To the school, to the city, to whoever wants to listen. I want the others who feel like us to see us and know that it's okay. That they're not doing anything wrong. But mostly I want you. And I want everyone to know that we are together, and I want a relationship with you, Simon. The good, the bad and the messy. I want you in any way I can have you. You are who gives me meaning, Simon."
"Do you truly mean that?" Simon asked quietly, tearing up.
"Yes, Simon, I do."
"And you would really come out publicly for me?"
"Yes, Simon. I would. I love you so much that to do anything else would be a crime against my own heart."
Simon leant forward and closed the gap between them, crashing their mouths together in a bruising kiss. They pulled apart after a few moments and Simon looked deep into Wilhelm's eyes. "I love you too, Wille. With all that I am. We'll get through this together, we always do."