Archive of Our Own

Chapter Text

Douxie wasn’t waking up. I mean, I don’t know what you expected. He was dead. You’d checked for a pulse and found nothing. You’d attempted chest compressions, but his ribs were already shattered, and you were terrified that if you tried too hard his chest would burst. There was nothing you could do but scream as Death stole from you the one good thing in your life.  

The pain was worse than torture. It was worse than death.

Douxie laid still, unmoving and broken, as you, also broken, sobbed over his body. His friends mourned him, his familiar mourned him, you mourned him, and he was dead. He’d traded his life, his soul for yours, and now he was gone.  

You were inconsolable. A wreck in a human body, you cried and screamed, and through your sobs, you begged for Douxie to come back to you. He didn’t. And after a minute or two you realized that he wouldn’t come back.

You realized that he would never come back. He would never wake up. He would never play guitar, or laugh at a dumb joke, or yell at you for putting yourself in danger ever again. He would never hold Archie, or talk shit about customer service with Zoe, and you would never see him again.

You would never kiss him, never hug him, never run your hands through his hair. You would never get to patch him up after a fight or make fun of him for the whole “fuzzbuckets” thing, and you would never get to apologize for all of those wasted years that you’d spent hating him because of everything you were taught to believe.

You had lost him.  

It was over. 

But you couldn’t accept that. You just couldn’t. It was not a reality that made sense to you. You mentally could not conceive of a world without your dumb wizard. So, you did what anyone else would do. You tried your hand at necromancy.  

It was an act of desperation, wherein your despair and misery you fired healing spell after healing spell at Douxie’s lifeless body. There was no stopping you. You couldn’t be moved from your path, nor could you be comforted or helped. You were an untouchable force, unstoppable and borderline feral. Your eyes grew wild and your actions became more and more erratic, but there was nothing anyone could do but look on in pity and distress.  

Beneath you, and beneath him, the dead grass came back to life. Flowers bloomed. And Douxie was still dead.

You were not okay with this.

In fact, you were a little bit angry. Where did this  fuck bag  get off thinking that he could tell you not to die, and then die and  stay dead  in your place? He didn’t have permission to do that! He hadn’t asked you! You at least had the decency to ask before you blew yourself up to shite! You  had  to bring him back now, just to kill him again for leaving you like this. 

So, you did what any failed necromancer with a background in medicine would do. You used a fun and funky little spell to send a shock of electricity through Douxie’s heart.  

And then you did it again.

And again.

And again.

And again.

And it didn’t work.

You screamed. The sound of it was an unholy concoction of grief and regret. Your torment filled the night air, and you  hoped  that the gods could hear you. You  hoped  that they would share in your agony; that they would mourn just as you did. Maybe if you screamed loud enough, they would take pity on you. Maybe they would give them back.

It didn’t make much sense, but you were desperate. You were breaking into a million tiny pieces, and this time, he wasn’t there to put you back together.

So, you did what any other person would do. You just… cried. You broke down in the middle of that field and let the tears fall. Your shoulders shook, and every breath ached in your lungs. You just… you couldn’t understand how he could be gone. He was everything to you. He had been in your life for so long, you just couldn’t comprehend how he left it so abruptly.  

It wasn’t fair. And the worst part was that in the grand scheme of the universe, his death was unremarkable. It was just another death among thousands and thousands of other deaths. The universe as a whole would carry on without him, but whatever part of the universe that held you would never be the same. Not without Douxie.

So, you sobbed. You cried, and cried, and mourned what you’d lost. You felt Claire’s arms around your shoulders, and you felt Toby follow her lead a moment later. You could hear the muffled sounds of their mourning, and you could feel their hot tears leaking through your shirt, but you didn’t have it in you to care. You would comfort them in a minute, you told yourself. In sixty seconds, you would stop crying. You would get up, and you would take over, and you would deal with the Arcane apocalypse and the people you needed to protect. You would do it in a minute. But first, you needed a second to grieve.

And then you felt, within your body, a slight change. You felt the static in your heart reach through your lungs, dance down your skin and through your hands. At first, the light crackle of electricity was sporadic, clumsy and unsure. Then it found a rhythm. Magic flowed through you and into the ground in gentle waves. You probably wouldn’t have noticed it if you weren’t the source of the magic.

Not that any of it was your doing. You weren’t used to electrical magic. In all honesty, it was Zoe’s specialty, not yours. Still, you didn’t think this new sensation was a known side effect.  

Your hands shook as you sat up straight and took in the world in front of you. The earth, the new flowers and old trees all seemed to breathe in time with your magic. Your restless heartbeat slowed to match the beat of the spell.

And then it stopped.

For the briefest of moments, your heart stopped. Everything did. The world froze. The plants and the ground that just a moment ago had drawn breath with you stopped. The Guardians around you were silent. Even your own sobs went quiet as the night drew to a standstill.

And then it hurt.

As everything snapped back into motion, and into sound, and it  hurt.   Everything in you, every part of you just  ached.   It felt like you’d fallen from the sky and crash-landed on earth with an impact that should’ve killed you. For a moment, just a single moment, you let yourself think that this was Douxie’s pain you were feeling. You let yourself pretend that against all odds, he was okay, and your bond was still intact, and everything could go back to normal. For that one moment, you let yourself think that he would come back to you.

And then he did.

The world could have ended, then, and it wouldn’t have mattered. You simply wouldn’t have cared. The second you realized Douxie was alive- it felt like  you  had come back from the dead. When your eyes met his, you felt as if you were waking up after a long and restless slumber. When you saw him again, your shattered mind came back together, and every part of your tired body relaxed. All of the pain you’d ever felt faded into nothing. There was nothing in the universe but him, and you, and the gentle feeling that everything would be okay.

And then you almost punched Douxie.

OK, TO BE FAIR, you didn’t  actually  punch him, you just… threatened to. And that was after you tackled your wizard into a hug. You literally jumped on him, wrapping your arms around his shoulders without a second thought. He groaned slightly, which was fair as he’d just returned from the dead, but he wrapped his arms around your waist and buried his head in your shoulder. He knew, then, that he was home. He was alive. And you were alive. And the universe was ok again.

“Hisirdoux Casperan,” you whispered, “If you  ever  do that again, I’ll punch your… face.”

Douxie just laughed into your shoulder, and at that moment the universe was more than ok. It was perfect.

You pulled back, a slight pout on your face as you said, “I’m serious. Don’t ever pull that shit again or I will  end you. ”

Unfortunately, you were not taken seriously. Fortunately, Douxie didn’t laugh at you. He kissed you, actually, which was much better than laughter, and the smile on your face afterwards told Douxie that he’d made a good call.

Around you, the Guardians of Arcadia, who had been waiting to congratulate their wizard dad on not dying, ran out of patience and violently hugged both you and Douxie. Honestly, it was the most relaxed you’d been in a very long time. You savoured every moment of it.

Of course, it couldn’t last forever. The Order was still out there, and although their attempted murders were entirely unsuccessful, that didn’t mean they weren’t going to try again. With a single look, you knew exactly what Douxie was thinking, and in the next second, you were ready to go.

The rest of the guardians were rightfully concerned that maybe Douxie should go and see a doctor. Or a therapist. They had the same concerns about you, which was fair considering you had blown yourself to shite. Fortunately, they let the matter drop when you promised to drag Douxie’s ass to a doctor the second you could do so without getting murdered.

And then it was goodbye. Not forever, just for a few months. You knew that you would see those meddling kids and their troll parents again. It was only a matter of time. Of course, it was also a matter of eldritch demi-gods and their wills, but you decided to ignore that for the time being.

As you boarded Merlin’s flying ship with Douxie at your side, Archie flying around you, and a tiny forest lady creeping about, you almost laughed. It felt like the beginning of a bad joke, almost. “Two former mortal enemies, a dragon, and a demi-god walk onto a ship-”  

You didn’t know how a joke like that would end. You hoped that it would at least be funny.

Arcadia looked different from above. It was smaller, of course, but that wasn’t it. It looked ordinary, from so high up. Like a plain little town where nothing magic lived, and no great legends found their start. You would say it didn’t look like a place that you had died in, but the ruins of HexTech could still be seen from far away. You were gonna have to pay Zoe back for that one, but that was something to worry about another day. You were sure she’d understand.

You looked away from the ruins, then. Too much pain lived there. You couldn’t exactly remember dying, but you assumed it wasn’t exactly pleasant. Instead, you looked towards the sunrise. Towards the future.

You felt Douxie’s hand on your side and you smiled up at him. You weren’t exactly sure what would happen next, but you knew that you would be okay as long as he was with you. You would keep each other safe. Each other, and Archie. And Nari. You weren’t super sure how to go about protecting the tiny demi-god, but you would figure it out. Eventually.  

A small sigh escaped you as you leaned into Douxie and let yourself relax. You shut your eyes for a moment, just breathing in the cool morning air. It was a decent day, you thought, for all of the tragedy you’d just been through. Maybe this, you wondered, was how the universe made its apologies.

“Hey.”

Oh, no.  

“Thank you for coming with me. I… I need you here.”

You were wrong.

“And I love you. Just, by the way.”

He  was the universe’s apology to you.  

You smirked up at Douxie before planting a small kiss on his neck, “I love you, too, Master Wizard.”

He turned a light shade of pink before burying his face in your hair, and you felt a little bad about laughing, but you did it anyway. You wrapped his arms around you and hummed, slightly before speaking, “And of course I’m coming with you, Doux. I… I don’t know what’s going to happen next. I don’t know if we’re going to make it through or if we’re going to die… again. Shit, I don’t think I actually know what day tomorrow  is,  but I promise you, you won’t have to face it alone.”

You felt him separate from you for a moment, and you thought you’d made some kind of mistake, but before you could say anything else, his lips were on yours. It was a proper kiss, this time. Not a peck or a ghost, but a full and proper kiss. Your hands moved up to cup his cheeks while he pulled you closer to him by your waist.  

You kissed him until the sun came away from the horizon, and even then you did not let go. He whispered a small, “Thank you.” And you grinned in response.

Yeah. You would be okay, now. The second you landed, you would say everything you needed to; everything that crossed your mind while he was gone. The second you landed, he would do the same. The second you landed, apologies would be made and accepted, Archie would get some decent fish, and Nari would take a nice nap in a nice sunbeam.

But right then, you were okay. Douxie was okay. And everything was better than it had been in a very long time.