Chapter Text
When Hux wakes the next morning, his first thought is of Ren, and their conversation the night before. He rubs at his eyes and tries to banish the thoughts from his head. Ren will be Ren, and he shouldn’t waste time overthinking whatever it was about. Chances are, Ren has already moved onto his next object of fixation.
Rolling onto his side, Hux opens his datapad to find a message from Tico waiting for him.
Hey Hux, could you come down to the War Room when you’re free? I need your help with something.
What could possibly require his attention so early in the day? Nevertheless, he quickly dresses and makes his way there. As he reaches the hallway just outside the war room, he knows immediately what has happened.
The place is destroyed. Most of the machinery is wrecked, and there are deep lightsaber gouges in the walls.
It’s very clear what has happened here.
The room is abuzz with activity as people rush around trying to get it fixed as soon as possible. Poe is there, looking downright livid, while Tico leads the repair effort. Lei and Connix are there as well, along with a dozen or so other mechanics and engineers that Hux doesn’t know personally.
“Kriff,” Hux mutters quietly, taking in the damage. He’s seen Ren have some truly spectacular outbursts over the years, but they pale in comparison to this. Hux tries to ignore the raw feeling in his chest. Ren is obviously more upset than he had anticipated.
“I know, right?” Lei says, from where she’s helping Connix repair a control panel. “Stars only know what set him off this time.”
Hux keeps quiet. He’s almost certain he’s the cause, and he doesn’t want to find out what would happen to him if the Resistance realises that.
“Who knows?” Tico replies, sounding more tired than anything else. “Either way, Rey and Finn have gone to try and find him.”
“Hopefully to make sure he doesn’t do this again,” Poe mutters, clearly furious. “Whatever happened, it’s no excuse for this.”
“Agreed,” Connix echoes.
Hux finds a machine and quietly sets to work, helping with the repairs. His emotions are a storm themselves. Rage, at Ren for causing this, for setting them back so selfishly. Regret, for their conversation the night before, and how he’d once again seemed to say the wrong thing. And, perhaps worst of all, concern for Ren, who had obviously taken it far worse than he thought.
He’s shaken from his thoughts sometime later by Poe. “Lieutenant Hux, when you’re done there, could you help me with this one?”
Hux pauses. Poe may have promised it, but he certainly didn’t expect him to keep it.
“What?” Poe says, smirking. You keep your word, I keep mine.”
***
The information comes through while he’s still on shift. He has to read it several times, just to make sure he’s seeing it right.
Rae Sloane has been appointed Grand Marshal of the Final Order.
Rae had been missing in action for years. Where had she gone? Why was she back now? Where had she been when they needed her?
This could be it, Hux realises. This could be his chance to go back.
“Are you sure the intel is correct?” Hux asks, hating how unsteady his voice sounds. If he can find a way to make direct contact with Rae, then he might just have a way back to the Order.
“Yes, we’re certain.” Kin replies, and Hux remembers.
She stares at him for a moment, as if weighing him up, before speaking. “Was it worth it, Armitage?”
“He started it.” Hux argues. He may have thrown the first punch, but it had been the other cadet who had insulted him first.
He can’t bring himself to meet her gaze, not when he knows how he looks. His lip is split, his left eye is swollen shut, and his nose had only stopped bleeding a few minutes earlier. Blood stains his uniform, almost all of it his, and he will be covered in bruises tomorrow. It fills him with shame to be seen like this, so pathetic and weak.
But, at least it had been her to see him like this, and not his father. Rae is far kinder to him than his father or his father’s friends.
“It doesn’t matter who started it,” Rae says, not unkindly, but leaving no room for argument. “What matters is who wins. Did you win?”
His silence is answer enough.
“I thought so,” Rae continues. “Next time, you should think twice before engaging in a confrontation that is not to your advantage.”
“They think I’m weak!” Hux spits, his hands clenched into fists. He hates it, because of how often they say it, and how often it’s true.
“Of course they do, but that’s their mistake,” Rae says, unfazed by his outburst. “Many thought the same of me once.”
“Really?” Hux asks, incredulously. He can’t believe anyone would think the Admiral weak. She’s the strongest person he knows. Even his father has to listen to and obey her.
“Yes, and now they’re all dead,” Rae states, matter of factly. “Stop, and make sure you think each step through. You’ll never win in a test of strength, so pick your battles and fight smarter. What do we say?”
“Live another day, fight another battle.” Hux dutifully repeats. He feels better already, knowing that someday he’ll kill all of his enemies too.
“Exactly,” Rae says, smiling gently. “You’re not weak, you’re patient, Armitage. Remember that.”
Hux nods, and follows her out.
“So she’s important, then,” Kin states, pulling Hux from his memories. “I can tell from the look on your face.”
“She is,” is all Hux can manage to say in response.
Kin pulls up a seat next to him. “What do you know about her?”
There are many things he could say. He could say that she’s one of the most dedicated, intelligent, and loyal members of the Order. That she can be absolutely ruthless and vicious when she needs to be, yet was also the first adult to show him any sort of kindness. That, between her tactical skill and Ap’lek’s abilities with the force, the Resistance might actually be in real trouble.
“I know,” Hux begins. “That we’re in more danger than we were before.”
***
The next time he sees Ren, he’s training.
After the incident the other day, Ren has made himself scarce. Hux hasn’t seen him for days, and he figures out pretty quickly that Ren must be avoiding him. It’s not completely surprising, given that Ren is probably just embarrassed by his earlier destructive outburst.
As per usual, it’s late at night, after most of the base has already turned in for the evening. Hux had received an urgent message from Captain Kin, stating that he was needed in the office immediately. The fastest way to reach the intelligence offices is by taking one of the higher walkways.
This particular walkway provides an excellent view of the training arena below. At the moment, it’s empty, except for Ren, Finn, and the girl. Ren and Finn are sparring with wooden staves, while the girl stands to the side, watching. At some point, Ren had lost his shirt.
Back on the Finalizer, Hux rarely saw the force user train. It wasn’t for a lack of interest – it’s always an advantage to know how your enemy fights, after all – but because Ren had kept to himself, back then.
Though they’re training, Ren holds nothing back as he fights against the former stormtrooper. He’s on the offensive, pushing Finn around the arena. He almost feels sorry for Finn. There is no doubt that Finn is a competent fighter. His stormtrooper program produced effective results, after all. Against Ren though, he has little chance of victory, although continual practice against him will no doubt sharpen his skills.
He doesn’t have time to stop and watch, and yet, he cannot pull his eyes away from the sight of Ren fighting. The way he attacks is mesmerising, ruthless in its efficiency. Quite honestly, it’s all very—
Hux collides, very suddenly, into the edge of one of the support beams. He’d been so distracted, he hadn’t even seen it. It’s embarrassing, to say the least, but at least no one had been around to see it happen.
He takes a moment to collect himself before he rushes off. As he does, he risks a glance to the training area below. Finn and Ren had missed it, but the girl is staring at him, eyes full of mirth.
She’d definitely seen it.
***
It becomes a weekly thing, playing cards with the Resistance fighters. Hux justifies it as data collection on the enemy. Yes, it’s mostly mundane gossip, but you never knew when someone would let something significant slip. To his shock, and mild horror, he finds he’s actually beginning to enjoy it. It’s not a bad way to pass the time, if nothing else.
This particular week marks Andi’s Name Day, and to be honest, Hux is surprised he was even invited. Andi himself seems to be having a rough time of it, suffering through some kind of personal crisis.
“I can’t believe I’m 29,” Andi bemoans, his head in his hands. He’s been complaining most of the night, and it’s only gotten worse as he’s gotten more inebriated.
“It’s really not that bad,” Hux tries to console, because it’s starting to get annoying at this point.
“That’s easy for you to say, you’re in your forties.” Andi retorts.
“I’m thirty-five,” Hux corrects, more than a little insulted, because he knows his lifestyle has probably aged him, but he doesn’t think quite that badly.
His response gives Andi, and a few of the others, pause.
“Yeah, but you were a General.” Andi states, as if that proves his point.
“The youngest ever in the First Order,” Hux preens. He’s always been proud of the fact, even now, among the enemy. “I gained the title a month before I turned thirty.”
“I always just thought that was First Order propaganda.” Connix admits.
“Well, it’s true.” Hux insists, tamping his irritation down. He’s copped disbelief and outright disdain from senior imperials his whole life. He’s not going to accept it from comparatively rookie members of the Resistance.
“How could you be a General so young?” Lei asks, seeming genuinely curious. “Aren’t there minimum service requirements in the Order?”
“There are. But, I've been training since I was five.” Hux explains. While he was definitely still young when he got the title, with over 25 years of service under his belt, it wasn’t unwarranted.
“I’m sorry, did you say five ?” Lei repeats, aghast. “As in, years old?”
“Yes,” Hux confirms. He may have been slightly younger than most of his peers, but never by that much. In the Order, it was common for Officers to start training as early as those in the Stormtrooper program did. “I was formally enlisted into the First Order just after the Siege of Arkanis.”
None of the others reply to his comment, instead just looking at him strangely.
“What?” Hux asks, suddenly defensive.
“It’s just that, that’s very young.” Tico says, carefully.
“There’s nothing wrong with it.” Hux insists. But that’s the Resistance for you – always so high and righteous, even when they’re no better. “The Resistance does the same.”
“Uhhh, first of all, yes there is,” Connix quickly retorts. “And secondly, no, we don’t.”
“Resistance age policy, Status: Enforced,” K-8 explains. “Recruitment is restricted to those older than sixteen, or eighteen for combat roles.”
“They are really strict about it,” Tico adds. “General Organa always made sure of that.”
Hux doesn’t have a response for that. Now that they’ve mentioned it, he’s never seen children around the base. Before he can say anything, Lei cuts in.
“I knew they kidnapped children from the Stormtrooper program, but I didn’t realise they did it for the Officer ranks as well.” Lei says, but her tone is now more somber than curious.
“Well, at least their child abduction policy is consistent across the board.” Andi dryly comments.
“I wasn’t abducted,” Hux asserts, his voice edged. The last thing he wants is their sympathy, or stars forbid, their pity. Can’t they see that it was his purpose? “My father volunteered me for the program. To be moulded into what the Order needed. To contribute to its glory, and to die for it when necessary.”
“That’s…almost worse,” Connix says, and when Hux doesn’t respond, she continues, her tone slightly softer. “Like, you understand that it’s bad, right?”
“Childhood trauma can be complex and multi-faceted,” K-8 cuts in before he can respond. “Denial and deflection are common responses. Perhaps--”
“I am not traumatised,” Hux states, positively venomous. Why was he even bothering with this in the first place? There’s a reason he never talks about his past, because it is always weaponized against him. “And I certainly won’t stay here while I’m being insulted.”
“We’re not--” Tico begins, but he won’t hear it. He stands, and with no other choice, makes a hasty yet tactical retreat.
***
Hux does not sleep well that night.
If he’s being honest, he doesn’t sleep well most nights. Back in the Order, there had simply been too much to do, too much on his mind to get much rest. Here, when he first joined the Resistance, it had been more about his safety, always constantly aware that they might do something to him while he slept.
Now, it’s because of the nightmares.
It’s childish, and he detests it, but it’s true. More nights than not, they disrupt his sleep until he wakes, his heart racing and gasping for air. It leaves him scattered.
Perhaps the worst part of the whole thing is that they’re about Starkiller . His dreams are plagued by fire and fury and the sheer heat of a sun. Paralysed to the core, he can do nothing but burn as he finds himself on the other side of the weapon he created.
He needs to get back to the Order. He’s unraveling at the seams.
***
He’s smoking a cigarra on the edge of the camp when Ren finds him.
“Don’t say a word,” Hux grits out. “Not one fucking word.”
He doesn’t have the patience to deal with what will almost certainly be a taunt, not right now. Because if the intel coming in is correct, then the Resistance backed attempt to seize the capital of Athulla has failed. The whole planet will be back in Final Order hands within days.
He’s still trying to work out how exactly the plan had gone so spectacularly sideways. There must have been a mole, or a leak. Either way, something had alerted the Order, and the coup had failed before it could even truly start.
Hux hates waste, hates the fact that hundreds have just died for no reason, hates that his plan wasn’t good enough.
Stupid, useless boy , his father’s voice taunts. He blocks it out. What he needs right now is some time to think before he goes back to the war room to sort this mess out. The last thing he needs right now is Ren, even if he is strangely glad that the force user is speaking to him again, after their less than pleasant interaction the other night.
Ren looks at him strangely, but actually listens to him for once. They stand in silence for a while, and Hux finds himself beginning to unwind. Bizarrely enough, Ren’s presence is actually helping. What a strange turn of events, that he now finds Ren calming, on occasion.
“You’ll work it out,” Ren says, quietly. “You always do.”
“Damn right I will.” Hux replies. He’s still not quite ready to head back in, so he lights up a second cigarra. Just as he puts it to his lips, Ren waves his hand, and the cigarra extinguishes itself.
“Really, Ren?” Hux says, exasperated. Just when he thinks they have some kind of an understanding, Ren goes and throws it all sideways.
“They’re bad for you.” Ren states, simply, as if that explains his behaviour.
Hux huffs a laugh, because it’s Ren. “Since when do you care about my wellbeing?”
“Since we became friends,” Ren replies, earnestly.
Hux laughs. “Is that what we are?”
“Yes,” Ren says, although he’s unsure now, almost hurt.
The force user certainly has a strange idea of what friendship entails, then.
“Be that as it may,” Hux says, regaining himself after a moment. It's true that they're no longer enemies; but were they friends? He supposes they are, in a sense. “There’s a million things that will kill me before something as mundane as a tumour does.”
Now Ren looks concerned, as if he’s only just realised that not everyone is blaster-proof. It’s startling, and Hux doesn’t even know how to process the idea that Ren might actually be concerned for his safety.
“What? It’s true,” Hux continues, stubbing out his cigarra. “We’re at war. Anyone can die. Not all of us have mystical powers to stop blasts and choke our enemies.”
And with that, Hux heads back to the war room. He has a planet to liberate.
***
He’s almost proven right the next time they’re on a mission.
They were infiltrating a Final Order base on Lan’Yon IV. This is the first time that Hux has joined them on a ground mission, and he’s starting to remember just why that is. While they’d managed to sneak into the base through a hidden entrance, they’d tripped an alarm on the way out, and now they’re blasting their way through.
It’s been a very long time since he’s been in combat like this, so up close and personal. At the moment, they’re pinned down in the hangar. If they can make it outside to the tree line, they’ll probably be able to get back to the ship without any further issues.
That is, of course, based on the assumption that they can get out of the hangar.
It’s an absolute firefight, with enemies coming from both sides. They’d been scattered when the shots first started. Ren is somewhere to his right, no doubt trying to cut his way through the troopers and back to their ship. Poe and Pava are on the other side of the hangar, pinned down behind some crates. Hux is towards the back of the hangar, behind a pillar, using it for cover as he picks off stormtroopers one by one.
And that’s when it happens.
He’s focussing on the enemies in front of him, trying to shoot down enough of them so that they can get a clear exit. Suddenly, there’s a flash to his left-hand side, and a loud crackling, pulsing sound reverberates through the air.
He turns to see a blaster bolt, hovering just feet in front of him, frozen in place by what could only be the force. Hux spins around to see Ren, arm outstretched, holding the bolt still.
He hadn’t even noticed he’d been flanked.
He should be dead.
The stormtrooper that fired at him seems just as shocked. Hux recovers faster though, shooting them down before they can try again. Once Hux steps out of the way, Ren releases it. The bolt courses through the air, hitting another stormtrooper on its way through.
Hux tries to calm his breathing and focus. They’re still in a battle. He can’t get distracted again. But he can’t shake it. He knows for a fact that he would be dead right now, if not for Ren. Why had Ren saved him? Why had Ren been watching out for him?
He turns back to Ren, about to ask him as much, when it happens.
Ren is so distracted that he doesn’t even notice the blaster bolt coming straight for him until it’s too late.