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BSD Crack

Chapter 5

Summary:

This is a compilation of shit the chunk of flesh I call a brain came up with

Notes:

Heya how's life?
If you ever need to vent I'm here.
I promise I'll reply.

Chapter Text

 

Dazai: Chuuya. 

 

Chuuya: Ha? 

 

Dazai: You're short.

 

Chuuya:

 

Dazai:

 

Chuuya: *yeets him out the window*

 

—————————

 

Chuuya: *uses Corruption*

 

Arahabaki: LET'S LEARN ABOUT GRAVITY 

 

—————————

 

Dazai: Hey, Chuuya, guess what I got you as a farewell gift. 

 

Chuuya: What? 

 

Dazai: A bottle of Petrus. 

 

Chuuya: Oh. Thanks. That's actually nice of you—

 

Dazai: Oh and also *explodes Chuuya's car*

 

Chuuya: DAZAI WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK

 

—————————

 

Chuuya: I hate you. 

 

Dazai: Me too. 

 

Chuuya: I wish you'd just die. 

 

Dazai: Me too. 

 

Chuuya: I'm in love with you. 

 

Dazai: Me too. 

 

Chuuya: 

 

Dazai:

—————————

 

Chuuya: Oi

 

Dazai: Huh? 

 

Chuuya: *yeets a can of crab at him at a terrifying speed*

 

Dazai: Holy shi—

 

—————————

*Some guy breaks into chuuya's house*

 

Chuuya: Oi who the fuck are you and what the fuck are you doing here? 

 

Random guy: we're looking for Dazai Osamu 

 

Chuuya: Then why the fuck are you here? 

 

Random guy: because you're his partner...?

 

Chuuya: So?

 

Random guy: so we thought you lived together? 

 

Chuuya: We don't. 

 

Random guy: yeah... 

 

Chuuya: NOW GET THE FUCK OUT OF MY HOUSE ITS 4 AM IN THE FUCKING MORNING AND I HAVE A PROPER JOB UNLIKE YOU

 

Random guy: *gets yeetes out of window*

 

Dazai: *falls out of ceiling vent*

 hey he actually wasn't wrong you know

 

Chuuya: WHAT THE FUCK

Notes:

Thanks for reading
Hope you enjoyed
Please leave kudos
No hate no foul