Chapter Text
walkingdarkwingduckwiki
congratulations everyone!
we are now officially banned from bars in 4 separate states and we’re working on our way to the 5th!
legallyalive
woo-oo!!!
lesscrashingmoreflying
thats a lot of states!!
my kids now
fukc me sideways, we actually did it
hey-20-dollars
cuz, if you keep saying that someone will eventually come to you with their dicks out
my kids now
maybe i want some weiner in me, have you ever thought of that
dressmakerextraordinaire
!!!
babe, is that a challenge
sugar and spice
Lol donald gets pegged apparently
my kids now
ur just jealous you haven’t had a dick in you in a while
sugar and spice
Oof
One hit kill
and everything nice
donald is the one talking about sex??
is this real???
cinnamon roll
i think he’s still a little drunk
we did drink a lot in our last outing
walkingdarkwingduckwiki
on that note
congratulations donald for finally passing out from alcohol intake!
your first blackout drunk moment! i hope you’re happy.
my kids now
did i actually pass out
i remember npthing about our last outing
krill enthusiast
you did!
it took wiping out all the absinthe in like 3 different bars, but you did
cinnamon roll
4 bars
i countd
sugar and spice
If I ever said “the absolute madlad” in the future note that I am referrig to donald, always
walkingdarkwingduckwiki
that’s fair
but anyway
i heard you and daisy are living together now?
how’s that treating you
dressmakerextraordinaire
quite well!
it takes some adjusting but we’re doing okay
my kids now
things are a lot more organized with dais around
and the children love her
dressmakerextraordinaire
of course they do, honey, i’m great like that
speaking of, the girls are asking if i can make them dresses for your uncle’s wedding
when’s scrooge and goldie gonna get married?
legallyalive
theyre still discussing that
krill enthusiast
and also the venue
and also the activities
cinnamon roll
but weddings are straightforward?
vows, dinner party, maybe photos?
krill enthusiast
well… not for uncle scrooge
hey-20-dollars
uncle scrooge wants ritualistic swordfighting because, and i quote, he and goldie keeps having swordfight either with each other or back to back against someone else
my kids now
they’re also cinsidering doing it in some volcano’s stomach surrounded by lava for nostalgia purposes
not to mention something about freezing themselves in a block of ice for at least an hour just staring at each other? also for nostalgia purposes?
we mqnaged to haggle it down to having really accurate ice sculptures of themselves but. he was really insistent
we got huey at home to curb the weirder request but we dont know how successful he will be
cinnamon roll
…
no offense but your uncle is weird
my kids now
oh, none taken, i agree
hey-20-dollars
it’s uncle scrooge
of course he’s weird
and everything nice
i suppose weirdness runs in the family
after all, i don’t know who else would bother being a superhero, caballero, and a dad of a gaggle of children at once if not donald
my kids now
how did you know about me being paperinik???
wait
i mean
i have no idea what youre talking abot
dressmakerextraordinaire
we all know, donnie
you spilled the beans while drunk
my beans now
oh phooey
so everyone knows?
lesscrashingmoreflying
everyone in this groupchat knows!
drake and fenton also came clear after you did
walkingdarkwingduckwiki
i would like to reiterate fir the 30th time that i did not tell everyone my true identity willingly
hey-20-dollars
well its not like you can do anything when don’s babbling 100miles/hr about it
my kids now
whoops?
walkingdarkwingduckwiki
whoops my ass
im gonna fuck you up when we meet again
my kids now
try me you tv show hero wannabe
walkingdarkwingduckwiki
oh it’s on you washed out old news
dressmakerextraordinaire
fenton, are you really ok with this?
donald kind of babbled about your identity, too
cinnamon roll
it’s fine, i’m used to it
i mean, everyone in my block, the dry cleaner, and the mailman knows
hey-20-dollars
wtf
legallyalive
how
lesscrashingmoreflying
you forgot the barista at starducks, the triplets plus webby, mr mcdee, and mark beaks
legallyalive
how??
cinnamon roll
im
secrets sucks, man.
sugar and spice
Considering how basically everyone knows about fenton I guess it’s impressive that donald manages to keep his secret this long
and everything nice
he didn’t even tell us.
sniff. i’m wounded. i thought you trusted us.
my kids now
im my defense when i lived with you guys and dealing with felldrake i had stopped going out as paperinik
i legit thought i wouldn’t wear the costume again
and even these days i only go out as paperinik when its super urgent
krill enthusiast
besides, donald didn’t keep his secret that long.
we knew even back in his active days
my kids now
wait wat
i dind’t tell anyone??
legallyalive
not conscoiusly
you don’t talk in your sleep but if we prod you enough you answer questions
my kids now
what
legallyalive
so glads was messing around and he was like tell us your biggest secret
and then you said you were paperinik
krill enthusiast
oh boy, was that a shock of the lifetime.
hey-20-dollars
pretty sure i wouldve had a heart attack if i wasn’t so lucky
my kids now
but you didn’t say anything????
hey-20-dollars
yeah we got so shocked and then we just pretended it didn’t happen to preserve our sanity i think
my kids now
but wait
if you know then why did you become the paperinik fan club president @legallyalive ?
legallyalive
what, i wasn’t allowed to show my bro some appreciation??
but also, idk if you realized but your face everytime i started gushing abt how paperinik was really cool was
lets just say it was so funny i was basically dying inside
my kids now
…you became president of a fan club for shits and giggles.
Legallyalive
and to show my support!
i didn’t want you to find out how we found out so i kept silet but that doesn’t mean i couldn’t tell my bro how proud i wss of him!!
Cinnamon roll
aww
Dressmakerextraordinaire
that’s fair, donald needs appreciation.
krill enthusiast
he deserves all appreciation we can throw him!
walkingdarkwingduckwiki
i propose a toast to donald in order to appreciate him
to the next bar!
cinnamon roll
you just want another bar to get banned from
walkingdarkwingduckwiki
i just want to see if i can be the first person to ever get banned from all states, fen
lesscrashingmoreflying
that sounds fun?
and everything nice
truly a noble goal
when do we leave
hey-20-dollars
i was just about to say!
the next bar better have good crabcakes tho
my kids now
oh no the green bois are unionizing against us
sugar and spice
Excuse you! I’m a red boi and I’m right with them!
dressmakerextrordinaire
in any case, i probably won’t be able to join the next excursion because of my job
but put me in as your emergency contact so if you get wheeled into a hospital for alcohol poisoning i can help you out
my kids now
thanks dais, you’re the best
krill enthusiast
i’ll be the driver again!
since i’m not going to drink.
lesscrashingmoreflying
i’ll be one too!
i haven’t gotten the road safety badge
and everything nice
that’s fair, we probably will need someone sober to help us out
cinnamon roll
i’m pretty sure i’ll need help walking
i found sme bruises i don’t remember getting
did i bump into a door or somethinf?
my kids now
door is one thing
walkingdarkwingduckwiki
you also bumped into fellow drunkards
thr only reason they don’t beat you up is bcs you get so apologetic you cried
and also you bumped into carts
and cars
almost bumped into one in motion
cinnamon roll
i got into a car accident?!
walkingdarkwingduckwiki
almost
lesscrashingmoreflying
i got you before you got hit!
cinnamon roll
oh my god
thank you
lesscrashingmoreflying
anytime!
my kids now
i think im gonna stay sober this time
you people need supervising
krill enthusiast
thanks! we need the help.
hey-20-dollars
dad donald strikes again
dressmakerextraordinaire
maybe if i’m not busy you can video call me
i want to see what sort of things you will get into
my kids now
will do
legallyalive
but, anyway
back to the donald as paperinik thing
i have a photo of his face when i started praising paperinik, does anyone wsnt to see
walkingdarkwingduckwiki
YES PLEASE
my kids now
wait when dod you even get one??
we dont have a camera phone back then!
legallyalive
remember that one time i had a phase where i bring polaroids everywhere?
anyway this is the pic
legallyalive sent file DerpDon.png to the chat
my kids now
della
walkingdarkwingduckwiki
pfffffffftt
hey-20-dollars
HAHAHAHAHA
sugar and spice
Baby boye. Precious. Derp babbie
and everything nice
best picture award of the year
dressmakerextraordinaire
thank you, della
i now have a new background pic for my phone
my kids now
…
excuse me, everyone
i have sororicide to commit
legallyalive
welp thats my cue to scram!!
bye!!!
dressmakerextraordinaire
good luck, della!
and hold back, donnie
i don’t want my future sister in law to die
my kids now
ok i see that
but i get tp kill her a little. as a treat
dressmakerextraordinaire
oh well if it’s just a little then go ahead
legallyalive
BETRAYAL
