Chapter Text
Student Council
Jean: Hello everyone! Good morning. Our first student council meeting is tonight at 4pm after school. If you can’t go, please tell us now so that we can account for your absence and catch you up later! Thank you.
Ganyu: I’m in charge of absences, so please tell me directly if you won’t be there. Thank you!
Kokomi: I’ve discussed with basically everyone and they can all go!
Kokomi: The only person I couldn’t find was someone named Dainsleif, but we’ll know whether they’re coming or not tonight, so it doesn’t matter too much!
Aether: dainsleif is in this club??!?
Lumine: yo aether you talked
Lumine: this is insane
Lumine: finally I hear the voice of my brother for once in the last thousand years
Aether: you act like I never talk to you but we literally had a conversation this morning
Lumine: (I’m saying you never talk on this chat)
Aether: (oh ok)
Aether: anyways, I didn’t know Dainsleif did stuff like this in his free time
Lumine: he’s a mysterious man with mysterious ways
Jean: The two of you know him?
Lumine: yeah Aether was friends with him a long time ago and so we both know him by extent
Dainsleif: Hello, everyone.
Jean: Hello, Dainsleif, can you attend the meeting today after school?
Dainsleif: Yes. I can.
Jean: Great! @venti @Zhongli @Raiden are we missing anyone?
Jean: …Hello?
Jean: …
Jean: Venti, at least, is always on his phone…
Jean: Why are none of them responding?
Jean: @Ganyu @Sara @hu tao <3 you all are the closest to them, do you know where they are?
Sara: No, I haven’t seen Raiden at all today…
Sara: Kokomi, is this of your doing?
Kokomi: No, of course not. I was actually going to ask you if you tried to hide her from me <3.
Sara: Ugh, no, I didn’t. She is capable of handling herself. I don’t need to protect her from you, of all people.
Kokomi: try calling me weak one more time <3
Sara: You’re not- ugh, this doesn’t matter right now. We need to find Raiden. @Yae have you seen her?
Yae: Yes, actually, I saw her early this morning, before school.
Sara: Where was she?
Yae: I walked with her to school this morning, as I usually do. She requested that we leave earlier today, for some reason. I think she said something about going to biology tutorials.
Yae: I left to go to the South Wing to go to my debate class early, since we have a contest coming up and I wanted to work on some things, so I don’t know where she went from there, but I know I saw her go to the choir and science hallway in the East Wing last.
Kokomi: Raiden doesn’t take biology…
Sara: You know her schedule?!?!
Kokomi: Of course? I have to know where she is during the school day in order to successfully carry out my plans. <3
Sara: …
Jean: Wait, you said she went to the East Wing?
Yae: Yes.
Jean: That’s where the student council room is!
Jean: Wait…
Jean: Oh no…
Jean: @Signora @Scaramouche @Childe
Jean: …
hu tao <3: and so it begins
Jean: And so what begins?
Dainsleif: The great prophesied Sand Timer War.
Xiao: not this sand timer thing again.
hu tao <3: don’t sound so glum! this war will decide the fate of the world.
Xingqiu: This sounds quite interesting, my liege! I’d love to transcribe the event.
hu tao <3: the war should be starting soon if you’d like to watch! eheh!
Xingqiu: Great! @chongyun @Xiangling come with me, my lieges!
Xiangling: Only if I can bring my near and dear besties from the arson club!
Xiangling: I- I mean, our fire safety club!
hu tao <3: bring everyone, bring everyone! the war is about to start! both teams are almost to the supply closet!
Xiangling: yay! let’s all go!
Kokomi: Raiden antis and Signora antis, come with me! Let’s try to win the sand timers for ourselves!
Gorou: Of course, Your Excellency!
Kazuha: My, a chance to take revenge on Raiden? This is certainly something I will join in on.
Yoimiya: Of course I’ll watch the fight! Maybe it’s a chance to use my new sparklers I made.
Yoimiya: F…for cheerleading, of course!!
Ayaka: I will not disclose which party I am cheering for, but I will certainly spectate the event. Thoma, will you join me?
Thoma: Of course, my lady! I’ll certainly join you.
hu tao <3: oh, my! a third party joins! I’ll be sure to account for that in this fight, eheh.
hu tao <3: would you look at that! signora, scaramouche, and childe, are attempting to unlock the door to the supply room now! hurry, hurry, children! come spectate this grand event! eheh…
——————
“Damn it,” Childe said, attempting to twist the door handle. “I thought I knew the code, but it’s not right.” He stepped back from the door, cracking his knuckles.
“What did you think it was?” Signora said, frowning. “I only brought you because you know the code, you know- don’t let that have been a mistake on my part.”
“I thought it would’ve been somehow involved with one of the presidents, since they set the code.” Childe sighed, leaning down to try another code. “I’ve tried all of their birthdays and the birthdays of all of the officers. They don’t work.”
“They haven’t always been the presidents,” Scaramouche added, shoving Childe out of the doorway. He began trying different number combinations. “Try the birthdays of the first presidents, from several years ago. Do you know them?”
Childe pulled out his phone to try to look it up, but before he could even turn it on, the Student Council room’s doors burst open and a blur of green and purple streaked across the room, shoving the Harbingers away from the door.
“Ehe, you’re too slow!” Venti turned around from where he was entering the code on the door and winked. “You all really thought you could get them before us?”
Next to him, Raiden smirked.
Within several seconds, the door opened and slammed shut, Venti slipping inside the brightly lit room. Raiden stepped in front of the door, sliding easily into a fighting stance. “You all aren’t going to take our sand timers.”
“We’re a part of this student council, too, y’know,” Scaramouche replied, dark eyes narrowing. “We have as much of a right to them as you do.”
“No, you don’t-” Raiden cut herself off as Kokomi, Gorou, and Kazuha stepped into the room. Her eyes narrowed when she saw Kokomi. “You.”
“Hey there!” Kokomi said with a little wave, her pink hair flowing behind her as she walked toward the supply room door without hesitation. Gorou and Kazuha walked behind her, ready to protect her should the need arise. “We thought we’d just stop by and spectate this fight. It seemed quite interesting.” The Harbingers and Raiden stood in silence, staring at Kokomi maliciously. She blinked. “If you don’t mind, I’d like to get through-” As she tried to shove her way to the door, Raiden pushed her away.
“Oh, no, you don’t. These sand timers belong to the presidents.”
Kokomi smiled. “Oh, I know, but you don’t need them! You’re not even using them for anything.”
Signora scoffed. “And what are you going to use them for, Kokomi?”
“I don’t know, actually. I just don’t want either of you to have them!” Kokomi shoved Raiden to the side and quickly entered the code, darting inside the supply closet. Within seconds, there was a yelp and a crash, and Kokomi ran out with the bag of sand timers.
Signora felt her phone buzz from her pocket. She glanced at the notification.
hu tao <3: guys, come to the student council room, quick! the war has begun!
——————
Student Council
hu tao <3: guys, come to the student council room, quick! the war has begun!
Albedo: I can’t go, unfortunately, I’m already in a class. Can you keep us updated here, Hu Tao?
hu tao <3: but of course! let’s see.
hu tao <3: right now, Kokomi has the timers! she’s trying to run out with them.
hu tao <3: oh, never mind! Raiden has them now! oh, she just passed them to Venti!
Lumine: oh, man… now Signora is dramatically trying to rip the timers from Venti’s hands… this is a reenactment of fifth grade recess…
Lumine: this is getting incredibly intense for a war over a bunch of stupid timers
Childe: they’re not stuFJGRJWTJKHM
Lumine: there goes Childe
Lumine: I just watched him text and get his phone thrown across the room in real time
Lumine: this is crazy
Xingqiu: Wow, this is incredible! They’re all putting on a very story-fitting war. I could write about this!
Lumine: I just watched you type that in, like, less than two seconds. how
Xingqiu: Do not forget, my liege, I write fanfiction for a living!
Lumine: oh yeah I forgot
Xingqiu: Now, Raiden just kicked Scaramouche into a wall! It seemed like a very, very, complex move! It must have taken much skill to learn.
hu tao <3: oh no, now Childe’s trying to throw Venti across the room! this is so intense!
Zhongli: Hello. What is happening here?
hu tao <3: hey, old man! there’s a fight happening in the Student Council room! wanna come watch?
Zhongli: A fight. Over what?
hu tao <3: over the sand timers, of course! I’m filming the whole thing, I can show you what you missed.
Zhongli: Wait. Are these the same sand timers I said anyone could take?
hu tao <3: yeah! they are. they’re all fighting to see who is worthy of owning the sand timers!
Zhongli: Oh, I see. I will take this matter into my own hands.
Zhongli is now offline
Lumine: That was….
Xingqiu: Incredibly ominous?
hu tao <3: a promising answer?
Jean: A statement to make me fear the future condition of the Student Council room?
Lumine: all of the above, I think!
Lumine: wait I see Zhongli! he’s coming upstairs!
Xingqiu: Oh, my, this is about to get exciting!
hu tao <3: oooooh!!!
Jean: I really hope this school has insurance on basically everything that’s in the student council room…
——————
The door to the student council room opened, and everyone froze.
Childe, currently holding the bag of timers, stood up straighter. “Oh, hey, Zhongli! What brings you h-”
“Childe, if you don’t mind, could I please see that bag of timers?”
“Oh, um, yes! I mean- yeah, of course!” Childe said, holding out the bag for Zhongli to take, eyes widening. Signora scoffed from where she and Raiden stood on the other side of the room. Zhongli opened the bag, glancing inside.
“Thank you. I appreciate it. Although I said you all should share the sand timers,” Zhongli said, turning towards the open window in the room. “There are more than a hundred in this bag, and sharing is caring. If I’m correct, each of you would’ve gotten 15. Isn’t that more than sufficient?”
“No!” Signora hissed. “For my plan, I need them all.”
Zhongli looked confused for a moment before he shook his head. “Well, if you all can’t share them, I guess I’ll just have to…” He held the bag of sand timers out of the open window, and a few of them fell out, shattering on the sidewalk about 50 feet below.
“NO!” The cry from around the room was unanimous, even from those who didn’t really care about the sand timers.
“Zhongli, don’t do this,” Venti begged, his eyes wide. “Think about how important those sand timers are.
Zhongli said nothing, stared right at Venti, and shook the bag. Three more sand timers fell and shattered on the sidewalk below. More unanimous shrieks rose from the people around the room.
“I will give back the sand timers if all of you agree to split them evenly and share them,” Zhongli said. “But if this sand timer war continues, I will throw the timers and force you all to watch as they shatter on the pavement.”
“It seems we’ve lost, then,” Signora sighed, shaking her head. “I suppose 15 sand timers is better than none.”
“Everyone, please raise your hand if you are willing to cease this war and take your share of 15 sand timers,” Zhongli stated, still holding the bag of sand timers out of the window. Everyone raised their hands, although some more reluctantly than others.
“Perfect.” Zhongli lowered the bag and closed the window. “Tonight at the meeting, I will give each of you your share. It’ll be your incentive for coming, yes?” Zhongli smiled as he walked towards the door, bag of sand timers still in hand. “I hereby state that the great Sand Timer War has reached its end.”
——————
Student Council
Bennett: Why did a sand timer just fall on my head?!?!?!