Chapter Text
ADA
12 members
[5:30 pm]
Fukuzawa Would just like you all to know that the Port Mafia is closing in on the girl's location. Dazai, we'll need you on standby to come erase the ability. Please remain calm in the meanwhile.
—
Dazai, at Kunikida's insistence, is bound to the medical bed in Yosano's office, where she is sitting on her little spiny stool and bending over to stare intently at a semi-conscious Dazai.
"What're you doing," he whines, "where's everyone else."
A pause. A suspicious stare. "Stop looking at me."
Yosano pushes back and spins where she sits. "Sorry. Just wanted to see how long it would take you to notice." Yosano gives him a smile that indicates that she is absolutely not sorry.
"And how long did it?"
"Ah, about an hour."
Dazai fakes a gag. "Ah, Yosano, I'm sorry but you're not my—"
Yosano cuts him off by poking his stomach. Dazai gives a real gag. "Sorry, I'm sorry! So harsh."
"That's what you get for having your shoes stolen."
"Yosano, have mercy on this poor patient!"
Yosano ignores him. "You'll have to be ready to go, soon. The Port Mafia reckons they've found her."
"Oh." Dazai's mood sobers at this, "will Chuuya be there?"
"Why?"
"Ahem, because, I have to have some words. With him. About my betrayal. And. I need to, uh, apologise. Again." Dazai blinks rapidly. "Can they not just bring the girl here?"
Yosano gives him a pitying look. Dazai pouts and turns away. "They can't. She might infect more people during transport. Stop avoiding Chuuya. You're acting like a child."
"I am not acting like a child!" Dazai says, like a child.
"Well, either way, you're gonna have to do it eventually."
Dazai sighs. "I know. I will. I just need some time to figure out what I'm going to say."
Yosano hesitates and clears her throat. "Actually, Chuuya is arriving here in five minutes."
The police receive several calls reporting an anguished shriek from the office of the ADA. The police respond by calling Fukazawa and requesting that he silence Dazai lest they enact a more permanent solution.
—
Chuuya had not realised the complete lack of parking at the ADA until he arrives with a very expensive motorbike. What Chuuya fails to remember is that no one at the Agency can afford a car. He stands at the entrance for a good ten minutes before deciding that his bike is more important than his dignity.
A minute later, Chuuya barges into the ADA with a bike floating behind him.
Kenji looks up with a startle. “Chuuya-san!”
Chuuya forces a grin and reminds himself that Kenji is fourteen and gets along with everyone. “Hey, Kenji. Where’s Dazai?”
“Yosano’s office!” He chirps. “Say, Chuuya-san, why did you—“
Kenji is cut off by a raging Chuuya storming towards Yosano’s office, who is followed by a motorbike being carefully manuvored through the doorway.
“Thanks for being careful, Chuuya-san!”
Kenji thinks he hears something break.
—
ADA
12 members
[6:03 PM]
Kenji Chuuya-san is so cool :00
Dazai chuuya-san once ate mud because I told him it was a brownie
Kenji Woaaahhhh
Kenji Chuuya-san is so brave!!!
Yosano ykw Dazai maybe you should apologise for that
Dazai ykw yosano maybe Chuuya should have not eaten a pile of mud
Dazai just a thought
—
Yosano, ever the lady, excuses herself after hearing (and feeling) Chuuya’s arrival in the office. You know, this is very important that you have this talk, she says as she leaves, you two have some things that you need to sort out. She gives Dazai a maternal smile. She is distracting him from the cameras she is slipping into various places in her office.
"Fucking bastard."
"Hello to you, too, Chuuya."
"Do not give me that shit," Chuuya snarls, and grabs Dazai by the collar to shake him like a ragdoll. His head snaps back and forth with the flexibility and fluidity of someone who does not have a spine. "You know how much it fucking hurt? To wake up and realise that you were gone and I had no way of contacting you or knowing where you went? That the last fucking thing you did was blow up my car?"
"That was a good one," Dazai tries, meekly.
"It was not. Don't distract me."
Dazai is out of his depth. He is sitting down. Chuuya is currently standing. Chuuya is currently taller than Dazai. The angle Chuuya is seeing Dazai at is not his best angle.
"—And don't get me started on how I found out! Are you even listening?"
"I'm in love with you," Dazai says. Chuuya's face slackens.
"What?"
"I'm in love with you. I'm sorry I left. I wish I'd told you. I'm sorry for hurting you. I never stopped loving you."
Chuuya's slackened face rapidly morphs to the colour of his hair. Dazai is only saved from throwing himself out the window in mortification by what appears to be tears in Chuuya's eyes, which automatically gives him the upper hand.
"Stupid mackerel," Chuuya sobs.
"Ugly slug."
Chuuya's lips slam into his, and there's a loud smash, followed by cracking. Chuuya turns his head, slowly and with deadly precision. Chuuya's motorbike is no longer floating, because Chuuya's motorbike has created a shortcut to the ground floor. It also no longer resembles a motorbike. Chuuya turns back to Dazai, who is inching his way towards the door.
—
That night, the Yokohama police station receives several more complaints about explosions and screaming from the ADA office building. The police consider the more permanent solution.