Chapter Text
He’d take any weather over rain. However, the sun beating down on him while he was already sweating from work was causing some discomfort. His tears and sweat have an awful sting, he avoids both if he can.
Unfortunately, he can’t at the moment. After building his new home away from home, he spent most of his time either gathering resources or writing in his book. Today was a long day, especially after the emotions lingering from yesterday’s events.
The confrontation. The long walk. The boat ride. The explosion. The empty pockets. All but his book.
Tommy’s reaction. His screaming. Dream’s attempt to make Ranboo upset. The waiting glare of the mask.
It’s lonely here. If he could go back he would have brought Jjjjjjjjeffrey or Enderchest. Least then Ranboo would have someone to talk to. Even if they couldn’t speak back.
Getting iron and wood for tools and armour wasn’t so bad when he first arrived on these lands because he had people to talk to. He had company. Tommy would talk and talk while he just listened. Fundy would joke around while building the ice cream shop. He missed Niki, even after upsetting her when she was sweet enough to have shown him around. And he missed Tubbo the most, having been his Secretary of State, the two had gotten close. Even in that short time.
Truth be told he was a little conflicted on his feelings for the cabinet. Both Fundy and Quackity had gone with his plan, yes. Which was good! But they didn’t stop Dream from trying to get Tommy exiled. And Tubbo had almost exiled Tommy right then and there. Had Ranboo not stepped in, Tommy would be here, going through this very awful feeling of starting over. The inaction didn’t seem like something good friends would do. Maybe he was missing something.
Finally, in the later hours of noon, Ranboo had found a few diamonds. The feeling of the precious material in his hands. The smile on his face couldn’t be helped. Ranboo made his way back up to the surface to get fresh air and relax. His little home was small but he hoped that he wouldn't be here long enough to need more room. As quaint as the build was. A day in and he missed L’Manburg and all his friends. He was always a bit timid, anyone who met him at first would agree. But he made friends quickly. His humor, his ability to get along with just about everyone meant he was surrounded by people who enjoyed spending time with him.
Whether it was because of his personality or being the new kid or a combination of both, he couldn’t tell. All he knew was many people swarmed him daily asking to hang out or “walk and talk”, as Tommy would call it.
Thinking of Tommy and the others made him feel more lonely. He was beginning to feel the weight of exile. Alone. Cast aside. Away from his home. Not even 24 hours had passed and it was already getting to him.
Putting the extra cobble away the hybrid headed back out. He’d need a nether portal if he wanted to get a semblance of his armor back.
"Hi Ranboo," a voice to his left as he stepped outside. Turning around, having his heart almost burst out of his chest from shock. There in all netherite, stood Dream against the outer wall of the house. It made him feel the absence of his own set. Like his body felt too light. His body was too exposed. The shine of dark metal and enchantments. He’d seen Dream like this just yesterday. Being alone with the man and being outmatched made him anxious. Well, more anxious.
“Oh hey Dream,” hand waving slightly. “What are you doing here?”
Silence. Paired with the mask, it was unsettling. Then finally Dream spoke. “Yesterday, I said I’d be back to check on you.” His voice is harsher than Ranboo remembers. That same bored feeling his tone had up on the wall.
He wishes he could be bored right now, instead of having to grind for gear all over again.
“Right!” The memory of them landing the boat on the beach comes to him. “Right I put that- I remember that now.” He quickly tries to talk over his almost mistake. Having put a note of last night in a book Dream didn’t know he still had. He subtly relaxes his hiked shoulders to seem less on edge. It was kind of nice to talk to someone again, even Dream. The tension in his body subsided a little. “Thank you for checking on me, I’m doing alright. Just finished mining actually. Heh, it’s actually been a long day- I almost died to a skeleton while I was bridging over la.. va… Um...”
He trails off when Dream brings out his shovel. Why would he need- “About that Ranboo.”
A hole in the dirt, identical to the one from last night.
Dream was waiting. The ender’s eyes flicked between the man and the dirt pit. After a silent moment where neither spoke, his anxiety spiked back up. “But I- I already gave you everything last night. I don’t understand.” He inched backwards. After all of his day’s hard work, full of manual labor, to be thrown away?
“Items in the hole Ranboo,” Dream said shortly. The tone left no room for argument, at least to anyone else it would. Ranboo pressed on, desperate to keep what little he had.
“I- Dream, I just spent all day getting these items. I barely have anything- really anything to put in the hole.” He couldn’t stop himself from chuckling nervously. Hoping to change Dream’s mind, albeit not saying what he really wanted to in order to make his point. What was the purpose of having him grind all over again? The few sticks? The cooked mutton or few leftover planks of oak wood? Surely he could have them, Dream was being ridiculous.
Listen to me when I tell you, Dream is the worst. He’ll take yo things and rub it in yo face. Tommy’s voice lightly reminds him, like a whisper so not even Dream can hear it.
Tommy’s voice was always loud. It may sound silly to others but Ranboo actually missed the hot headed teen a lot. If he was here, maybe exile wouldn’t be so bad. Tommy caused chaos, it’s true. But he also made a rainy day a good one. He brought light where there was darkness. A laugh that would encourage and pull laughs from those around him. Ranboo can practically hear Tommy screaming ‘wrongun’ at Dream’s behavior right now. The feeling of Tommy in spirit has him momentarily forget the reality of said masked wrongun growing angry with him.
“You can get more later. For now, drop them." Taking a step closer, the man puts his shovel away. Impatience leading to rage.
The closeness to Dream has him stepping back another time. His hands instinctively come to lightly hug himself. “You said I had to start over-”
“That’s right, I did.” It no longer feels like insistence, but a looming threat.
“But- What, like every...Every day?” Ranboo stutters, praying to Prime that the porcelain just wants his goods for today only. But any god that exists must hate the hybrid teen.
Short and painfully to the point, “Yes.” Dream's answer makes the pit of fear and stress grow ten sizes bigger. Into a black hole, sucking in energy so fast his knees start to feel too weak to hold him upright.
“That feels unnecessary-” he tries to plead, mumbling to the ground.
Angry steps coming his way has the ender whipping his head back up. Fear has him like a creeper staring at you through the inside of your own house. A pane of glass separating you from having your home destroyed and body in pieces.
There is no glass to keep him safe here. “Items in the hole. I’m not arguing anymore.”
The hologram signifying the opening of an inventory stops Dream from advancing. After a few seconds of dropping stuff and hesitation on diamonds and food, Ranboo clears his pockets. All but the book. One TNT lit by a flaming arrow and all his hard work is burnt to a crisp.
“See? Not so hard. Alright come on," a smile in his voice mirroring the one on the mask. Like Dream’s whole mood has done a 180°, the man’s voice is calm. It has Ranboo feeling like a minecart that switched tracks.
Choosing to follow without asking where they're headed, Ranboo is too busy thinking to speak. The people of L’Manburg had told tales of Dream, the fear and destruction he caused. He was seeing it first handed, aimed directly and only at him. He would admit seeing the man walk towards him had sent him into flight or fight.
He wasn't much of a fighter.
Hands had a mind of their own, making the choice for him. Inventory up before he knew it. Dream had just taken a couple steps. Ranboo was pretty sure that he didn't want to see anything more than that. So he complied, begrudgingly.
Dream lead him to the entrance of his mine. Ranboo gave a confused look, and the man sighed behind the mask. "For resources… I'm helping you start over?" The tone was condescending. Like he was talking to a child. It made Ranboo upset, more than he would let show on his face. He just had his things destroyed by the very man who was about to help him. Like salt on an open wound.
The two spent an hour combing through stone for iron and coal. Dream had found a pocket of diamonds and gave them to Ranboo. The ender was confused. Why would Dream blow up the diamonds he earned on his own just to give him more? Much of what the man did was confusing.
He thanked Dream and soon enough they were back on the surface. Another hour of chopping trees and hunting, and just like that Ranboo’s inventory was pretty much the same it was before Dream showed up.
“Alright, I have some stuff to do back at the smp. I’ll be back tomorrow.” Dream gathered his axe, previously standing upright on a tree stump. Left behind as they got off track to get food and cook it briefly. A late night snack. The two had joked around. Ranboo forgot for some time that this was exile and that the two were not friends having a late dinner. But a boy banished from his home, sitting across from the man who led him here. Away from everyone and everything.
“Okay, see you then,” deciding to move on from those feelings to say goodbye. Watching him leave by boat. Waving, even though Dream had not turned around to see it.
Stars in the sky, only light provided by some torches. Air smelling of salt, standing so close to the ocean. Dolphins chirping in the distance, rattling of bones faintly in the woods nearby. It hit him when the breeze slowed to a stop, when the noises of nature took a break.
He was alone again.
As awful as the beginning of Dream’s visit was, as much as Dream had scared him, he was starting to miss the company. The first half of his day was slow. But the process of restarting with Dream took so little time. Most of their time spent together was messing around, joking as Dream shielded him from zombies. Of making noises of fear and excitement when Dream bucket clutched as he fell in his attempt to avoid a creeper trailing behind them. When Dream screamed his name as he realized a spit of lava landed on Ranboo’s blazer, setting the teen on fire.
The bucket of water in the enderian’s inventory felt heavier at the memory from just two hours ago. Dream had been kind enough to give it to him, claiming he was apparently a fire hazard. They laughed for several minutes after he put his clothes out, leaving a scorch mark. Fingers absently flicked over said mark.
To say his emotions and thoughts were all over the place from today was an understatement.
*****
It becomes harder for his brain to wrap around as the next few days follow a similar pattern. There are a few changes in the new routine. One is that Dream starts having him dig through his chests to add to the pit Dream creates upon his arrival. Stating friends don’t hide stuff from each other.
He wasn’t quite sure how having items in his house was considered hiding but when Dream said he’d leave if Ranboo didn’t do as he said, Ranboo had compiled.
Another change was Dream would think he was lying if he didn’t have any armor and tools to add to the pile of stuff to be destroyed before they continued on with the night. Dream believed that Ranboo was making them in secret and keeping them to try and escape exile. It was far from the truth, but Dream still thought he was lying. The hybrid found himself making the items out of habit. He didn’t even use them, but having them to toss later had spared many fights with the masked man.
The most worrying change was sometimes… Sometimes Ranboo would feel as though he blacked out during the visits.
He had no memory of events Dream said transpired. No memory of things the man claimed Ranboo had said or agreed to. He’d wake up with bruises and cuts he couldn’t remember getting, no matter how hard he racked his brain for. Asking Dream had provided no answers that made sense.
“Oh that? You must have fallen in the cave. That cut is from an arrow that grazed you last night. That’s a nasty bruise. How’d you get it? How would I know Ranboo, I asked you? You’re so clumsy. You probably fell again.”
The hybrid’s memory wasn’t always the best, but this was concerning. The stress from the blackouts and lapses in time was making it hard for him to recall what times he ate. Ranboo was skipping meals without meaning to. The lack of sleep as Dream’s visits were late into the night and kept him up. A natural nocturnal creature, Ranboo had adjusted his sleep schedule to be one where he was awake during the day to spend time with Tommy, Tubbo, Fundy and Quackity, Niki and Puffy, anyone really. To be up when L’Manbergians were awake and about. This new exile schedule was ruining that hard work.
Exile was taking a toll on him.
*****
Dream was going to visit again soon judging by the position of the sun. It was setting, Dream usually arrived around then. Ranboo can remember that much at least. He took a deep breath as the nether portal Dream created yesterday made a noise. The man had barely got both feet off the platform of obsidian. “Dream?” He was going to try again, and ask to go home.
“What’s up?” The human was taking the shovel, ready to start the routine. He didn’t seem particularly angry today. Ranboo thought he could chance it, asking the question on his mind since he left L’Manberg.
The build up to this question would take forever if he tried. Better to rip the bandaid off then slowly tear it away. “I want to go home.” Before Dream could speak he continued. “At least to visit. I know I’m exiled and stuff, really I do. Just a visit, check up on my cats, talk to people-”
“No.”
“Please, it's been six days. Dream just one visit and I’ll come right back! You can watch me the whole time.” Ranboo was begging. He normally wouldn’t stoop so low, but he was desperate for an escape from the day to day in exile. He needed change. Something new. Someone new. Someone, anyone but Dream, just for a day. Not that he was ungrateful for the visits. They provided a good distraction from his thoughts. The teen missed civilization.
He was hoping for a yes, but was expecting a no. What he got instead made him wish a simple no was given.
“Do you honestly think they miss you?”
A porcelain mask stares at him. Ranboo instinctively hunched up on himself at the intense feeling of Dream’s gaze. “Wha-”
“You think anyone cares about you? They’re probably happy that a problem like you is gone.” The words are said like poison, like Dream is a snake trying to bite the head of an enemy. It feels like it shouldn’t be directed at him, but Ranboo is the only one around to hear it.
Shaking his head and laughing lightly, Ranboo denies the thought. “No, no they miss me. I know that-”
“Even I get bored of your company, I- Your memory is so shit that I have to help you with everything. I get tiredof reminding you, of helping you. You think anyone else would want to help you? I don’t even like doing it.” Dream takes a break to rub his forehead, or what would be the forehead of his mask. Just above the dull eyes of the smiley face.
“But I do it because we’re friends, Ranboo. I don’t like doing it, but I do it anyways. No one else would want a forgetful, lonely, hybrid like you.” Dream coos as he gets closer.
Ignoring the comment about hybrids, the smp was full of them. The insults towards his memory were uncalled for. For one of the only times in Ranboo’s life, he was genuinely pissed. Dream’s words were hurtful. He hated confrontation, but he already proved he could handle it. Some things are worth fighting for. He was worth fighting for.
“You’re wrong.” At what seemed like silent shock, Dream stood still and Ranboo spoke again. ”They do care, they liked me before I left and they like me now.”
“Then why aren’t they here Ranboo?” Now Ranboo was quiet. Dream continued, hammering in his point. “No one said they couldn’t come. So why didn’t they follow? Huh? Why aren’t they here? Because I’ll tell you why. They don’t give a fuck about you. And-”
“No-” Taking a step back as Dream stepped forward. He wanted to run, to escape. If only he could teleport.
“-I can’t exactly blame them. Look at you.”
“Stop it.” Ranboo whispers to himself. Words meant for the man behind the mask who was approaching faster, forcing him to match in speed as he stepped backwards.
“Weak. Pathetic. Annoying. Forgetful. I mean- You can barely lift an axe on your own.”
“No! I- Sorry… No. You know what? No. I’m not sorry. I can’t help it! I didn’t choose to have an awful memory. And if you’re my friend, like you claim, then you would know and understand.” When he’s not interrupted he can’t help but go on. He can’t tell what Dream is thinking, but Dream is going to know what he thinks.
“I’m starting to think you’re not a very good friend Dream. Because friends don’t... talk to each other like you do. Friends don’t blow up my stuff, insult me for something out of my control, insult me for needing help after they ask if I’d like it. You’re a terrible friend Dre-”
Before he can finish his sentence a familiar feeling occurs.
****
“Alright Ranboo, items in the pit.” Dream had approached the shore a few seconds ago. This was the third day Dream came to visit. The third day of exile. And in between the last visit and this one the tall teen had taken some time to think.
About how unfair this all was. Why Dream destroyed his things just to gather more overnight. And then destroy those resources as soon as Dream arrived the next night. Why Dream hated him “hiding” things even though some of the things Ranboo placed in his mostly barren chests were gifts from Dream. The other contents were flowers, seeds, feathers, sand, and the likes. Seemingly useless items Dream deemed too dangerous for him to keep. Just so he couldn’t have one, just one thing to himself. Other than the book.
If this was how exile was going to be with Dream around, then he’d rather be alone. Gathering his courage. He was going to be serious and not stutter. “No.”
“No?” Dream, with his hands in the pocket of his hoodie, leaned back and laughed. It was unnerving and uncomfortable. Not the response the teen was expecting. Ranboo kept his face stern. The laughing stopped. “What do you mean “no”? This isn’t up for debate, stuff in the pit, now.” Ranboo held his ground, not making a move to do as he was told. With an annoyed sigh, Dream took out his sword. “You’re lucky I take the time to see you and now -”
“If your visits are just going to be destroying my things and threatening me then I’d rather you stop ‘wasting your time’ to visit me Dream.”
Pointing the sword at the teen, “You little- You said you understood the rules of exile and now you wanna back out? Are you tired of it already?”
Ranboo was, in fact, tired of this. So tired he lacked respect for the man before him. The energy Ranboo had to pull from nowhere to keep Dream entertained and happy during the visits was exhausting. Not to mention the close calls with death from mobs and a lack of supplies and food. On nights where he spent getting supplies, Dream would come just to blow up later. Wasting hours of Ranboo’s time. Tired was an understatement.
With a nod from the ender, the mask continued. “Four days in and you’re tired? Imagine how Tommy would feel.” The kid’s name sparks something in Ranboo.
Dream must have said it to make him feel bad, or feel grateful that he took exile so Tommy wouldn’t be dealing with this. But it did the opposite. A fire was growing in the hybrid. If Tommy was here, he’d fight. He’d fight Dream about this treatment. And he’d fight right now if he knew what was happening to Ranboo. Because Tommy cared about him. Tommy would want Ranboo to care about himself too.
He hears himself speak as if Tommy put the words in his mouth. “Proud… He’d feel proud. Because he would know, and you and I know, that what you’re doing is wrong. He’d feel proud that I’m calling you out.”
He barely caught Dream raising a hand to him. The shock after the sound, the pain spiking through him. Dream had hit him, had slapped him across the face. He couldn’t tell if the pain was because it physically hurt, or if it was the betrayal of his feelings. Of their friendship. This moment had now proved that the feelings were one sided. Dream had spouted many times that he cared for Ranboo, that the two were friends. A lie. It was all a lie.
“...Dream?” The hybrid asked the ground, not sure what he was asking. The man in question was silent. The still air made the teen shake more than he thought possible. Ranboo didn’t dare raise his eyes from where the slap turned his face. “Dre-”
“You’re so fucking ungrateful.” The mask held a smile that paired with the words left Ranboo terrified. “God damn Tommy. That- Ooo- Tommy.” Dream started pacing before stopping in front of Ranboo again. A wicked, almost evil laugh erupted from the human. Ranboo would be lying if he said it didn’t scare the end particles off him. “Tommy? Tommy?!” Dream’s chuckle is low, empty of any actual emotion. Sounds inhuman, almost like a mob trying to imitate the living. “Tommy doesn’t care about you! They all could care less. Tommy is happy you’re here so he can be back home and cause more problems. You think he gives a shit that you took the fall?” Another laugh.
Dream was wrong, Ranboo saw the struggle Tommy put up to get to him. Heard the curses, the shouting as Dream led him away. He saw the shorter teen grow upset at him for claiming responsibility. Dream was wrong, Tommy did care. He knew it was a matter of time before the kid came to rescue him.
As if the mask could read his thoughts, “He’s not coming! Ranboo, I’m trying to help you here! Gah- Why?! Why can’t you see that? No one cares about you! But I do! I come here everyday, spend my time, let you use my stuff, have built- I could spend my time with anyone else but I come here. And you care about Tommy?” A short exhale, an empty laugh. ”Tommy, who isn’t here? Who is too busy with Tubbo, chooses to spend time with anyone else but you? Come on Ranboo!”
As much as he didn’t want to agree, there was some truth in Dream’s words. All these conflicting thoughts were making his head hurt. His face hurt. His feelings were hurt. This was all too much. Too much to think about, too much contradicted. Ranboo was too tired, exhausted for this. His cheek felt tingly, he just wanted to sleep. He wanted to forget all this happened.
It would be easier to be friends and enjoy exile if he forgot Dream hit him, threatened him. If he forgot Tommy and Tubbo and the fact that they weren’t coming.
He didn’t know Dream was thinking the same thing.
“...Give me the book.” It broke through his thoughts. It sent chills that froze his spine in place. How did Dream know?
“Wh-What?” But Dream didn’t explain how or why he knew Ranboo had it. Didn’t say how upset he was for Ranboo hiding it from him. Dream simply held out the hand previously holding the sword, now gone. Hand empty, waiting.
Hesitantly Ranboo placed the item requested into the man’s open palm. “What do you want with it?” The kid should have asked first, he didn’t know why he handed it over so easily after hiding it and keeping it safe for so long. He was still dazed from the ghost hand that had hit him. How many times had Dream slapped him? Did he even want to know?
“Clearly having an easy way to read events- of their fake loyalty to you- is giving you false memories and feelings. You don’t need to pretend that they care. You know they don’t, this will just confuse you.” With that, Dream unceremoniously dropped the book to the bottom of the hole.
“Wait!” But it already hit the dirt. It’s all he has left of home. So many memories will be lost. Seeing it drop like it was nothing more than paper bound by leather hurt more than the slap did. “Dream, wait. Tommy isn’t the only person in the book. Please just let me keep that.” But the mask with it’s black, empty void like eyes, just pierced back at his mismatched ones.
“You don’t need it when you have me to remind you. The rest of your inventory Ranboo...” The mask tilted, waiting. The fight had left the ender and in a few short seconds more stuff piled on top of the book.
A stick of tnt. An arrow on fire. A hand on his chest, pushing him back away from the heat of the blast. Ash in the air. Smell of burning leather and charcoal. A familiar routine.
And just like that.
Ranboo couldn’t recall or reread months of his life.
****
He feels the burning on his check before the sound of a slap registers his ears. Ranboo doesn’t even have time to mull over the emotions of being hit because Dream is talking to him. Just like every time before. Memories flickering like radio static.
Voice sharp, standing less than an inch away. How had the human gotten so close without the ender noticing? How did he always take Ranboo by surprise? How many times had Dream hurt him? How many more times would it happen to lock away in his memory later? How many memories were missing, waiting to be unlocked?
Tired was an understatement.
“You don’t want me around? Think I’m a terrible friend, huh? I’ll leave. See who comes to visit a nobody like you. When no one comes, and no one will, don’t come crying back to me. Because I don’t need you, but you need me. By the time you realize that, it’ll be too late.”
Ranboo didn’t have the energy to chase after Dream as he started to walk away. Let him leave. Maybe then Ranboo could get some sleep and actually get to keep his things he worked so hard for.
As the man got closer to the portal, something ate away inside him. No one had come for him. Angry as Dream made him, as awful as Dream treated him. No one else came to visit. Just Dream, and he was leaving. He would lose track of days if not able to count the visits as every night passed. He’d lose his sense of time, then his mind. Without his old book, without people, he’d forget everything. And then he’d forget himself.
Against his instincts telling him to keep quiet, to give up since he was exhausted. Prime, was he emotionally drained. Ranboo still reached out.
“Dream, wait!” He let out a sigh of relief as the green hoodie stopped just before the portal. Running to catch up, Ranboo stood behind the man. “You're… You’re right. Please don’t go.” Hope laced in his voice. Dream looked over his shoulder and Ranboo perked up in anticipation.
“The book,” is all Dream says. Ranboo isn’t sure how the human knew he made a new one. He hands it over without question, trying to please the man before he decides to never visit again. Dream flips through it before turning around and walking back up the hill. Throwing the leatherbound book into the hole in the ground. Ranboo suddenly feels something being shoved into his hands, claws naturally wrapping around it. Looking down, it… It’s a flint and steel.
Before he can question Dream, “Light it.” A demand. They both stare at the tnt hovering over the pit. The mask wants him to prove he deserves Dream’s time, his trust. You don’t need it when you have me to remind you.
As much as it kills him to be the one to destroy his own memory, he uses the item in his hands to light the tnt. He can’t bring himself to move out of the way because he feels like a part of him has died. A small sacrifice of losing his memory in writing of the past few days, to preserve his long term memory. It was such a weak thing already.
A hand on his shoulder, cold porcelain touching the point of his ear.
“See? Not so hard,” a whisper that would make him shiver if he didn’t feel so empty right now. The hand retreats and Ranboo hears footsteps recede. Turning as fast as he can, he catches Dream’s sleeve.
“Wait, you’re leaving? But I just did what you told me.”
Ripping his hand away from the teen’s grasp, disgusted Ranboo notes briefly. “Yes, you’ve proved you trust me. But you still need to be punished for the way you acted.”
The sweat that runs down his temple stings.“Punished?” Arms being held by trembling fingers. If being hit was for speaking up, what was the penalty for grabbing Dream? For the man lacking trust?
“You need time to think. To realize who’s been there for you, and be grateful that I spend my time with you.”
“I do Dream, I-” But Dream is already moving towards the nether portal. After everything that just happened, Dream is just going to leave him alone anyways. “Are you coming back?”
A beat of silence, the two back in front of the obsidian portal to a realm of pure heat and lava. Of brutes, unforgiving of a misplaced foot. Much like the man before him.
Not even tilting the mask to look at the halfling, “Tomorrow.” With one word the human is gone.
Being alone again, Ranboo gets lost in thought as Dream instructed. They're are all over the place. As he recalls the night’s events, bits are already missing. He hopes they aren’t important.
The teen gets little sleep that night.
*****
Tomorrow comes with no sight of Dream. Tired of waiting and bored, the halfling goes back to mining. A mindless activity, but his mind is nothing but loud. Just when he thinks today will be a lonely day underground, his communicator buzzes.
Turns out Tommy has not forgotten him. With what little strength the hybrid has after several hours of mining and escaping mobs and avoiding death, he runs.
And there on the surface, rifling through his barren chests like a little racoon, is Tommy.
Greeting him, Ranboo tries to be calm. “Uh, hey Tommy.” Voice low as if he's afraid Tommy is a hallucination that will fade away if he's too loud.
The kid before him tries to act like he wasn’t snooping, not like Ranboo really cared in the first place. Tommy was always like that and he’s just happy that he’s here. He hopes the teen is actually here. That he wasn't imagining all this. “Ranboo, my friend! How you been?”
“Not good, honestly,” He chuckles, caught off guard by his own honesty. “Um, w-why are you here?”
“Not good? Ranboo what happened? Tubbo finally found out where Dream took you and I came over as soon as I could.” Tommy is concerned, the ender can feel the human’s eyes analyzing his features, checking for something.
Ranboo can’t find himself to care what Tommy is looking for as his own thoughts take control of his mouth. “You did?” Ranboo takes a deep breath, he feels himself smile. Dream was lying, Tommy really did care. Dream lied.“You really did?”
“Of course man, we’ve been trying to find you all week! Tubbo told me I wouldn’t make a good spy- which is wrong-” Tommy is speaking but Ranboo can’t catch most of it as tears take up his vision. It hurts so bad it’s distracting, he hugs his own arms. Knowing people were searching felt so good that he cries harder. Both emotions clash, making his knees weak. He leans against the wall of the base and drops to the floor.
Tommy is leaning over him, comforting him as he questions about exile. The gentle hand soothing him is a nice feeling. He wants to enjoy it. Before Ranboo can answer the many questions thrown his way, Tommy freezes.
The implant flashes faintly. A faded white light just between the top of the cheekbone and the tragus of his ear. A clear sign of an incoming message.
With a sigh, the boy kneeling next to him pulls out his communicator. The grimace on Tommy’s face says it all. Dream is on his way.
Why was he so scared at the thought?
*****
Tommy keeps his promise.
The gifts and resources. The letters back and forth for when they can't sit and talk. It's nice. Someone, in a memory he can't recall, tells him he doesn't deserve Tommy’s kindness. That Tommy deserves to be in his position. The words don't feel like his own, so he pushes them aside. Opting to enjoy the few hours he has with his friend.
"Hey, Ranboob?" There's the boy's shit eating grin.
"Please don't call me that," the laughter behind Ranboo's words make them invalid. At least to Tommy. A hand is wrapped around his shoulder. It's his friend's hand, gentle and calloused, but it still makes Ranboo flinch. Any recollection as to why is immediately shoved down. He's fine. Everything's fine.
"I think you should say fuck it and make another journal. Now I know, I know, 'Dream will just take it so why bother' buuuut-" Tommy pulls out some leather and sugar cane from his inventory. "What he doesn't know won't kill him. Especially a bunch of paper." The shorter teen beams and if Ranboo wasn't so anxious he'd smile at Tommy’s enthusiasm.
Digging his boots into the dirt below them, the ender feels his stomach turn. "I don't know… Pretty sure Dream was super upset last time- last two times really. I think I'm pushing my luck and I could really use some right now."
"Luck is my middle name-"
"I thought it was Kraken, or wait was it Danger?"
"-And trust me when I say the only luck you need is your own advice." A long silence is stretched. One, because of Ranboo's lack for understanding what that means. Two, Tommy waiting for him to understand something that should be obvious but is not. Tommy spares him and clarifies. "Like- Okay so you write shit down, so you remember it. Then you read it later with me, and I give you advice. You write down my amazing words of encouragement, and then follow it! Yeah?"
The idea makes some sense now, it's not terrible. Something he's no doubt considered. An extra pair of eyes could help, a bolder set of eyes. The same boldness that got him here in the first place. At the end of the day, he made that choice.
Tommy said so at least. Tommy wasn't a liar, he was a friend. The very opposite of Dream. Ranboo made the choice to go with Tommy, to go with Dream. Taking the wrong step got him in trouble. In trouble with Tommy, in trouble with Dream.
Maybe the two weren't so different.
*****
The two are very different.
Laying on the ground and surrounded by his own blood, a purple-red mess. He can feel his consciousness fading, dragging the event into the depths of his mind. It hurts. Head pounding, from thoughts, from the repeated punches that made everything dull and drain of color.
Oh, Prime. This was it. He was dying, no denying it while it was on his metaphorical doorstep. From this position, the door would be the sky full of stars. Each one that sparkled vanishing one by one. It hurts. Body aching, agonizing pain shooting through every nerve he has. Numbing and overwhelming all at once. He can't decide if he wants to die more, die faster, or survive out of spite, out of fear.
He doesn't even remember why. What he did or said that brought the reaction from his keeper. That's what Dream was. Keeping him away from his friends, his country, his thoughts, his memory, his possessions. Ranboo wants to remember, needs to remember what he did to cause this. To avoid this awful feeling again. Like his entire being was being ripped apart to form somewhere else. Probably his bed.
This was his first life. He was careless, didn't understand how fragile a life was. And Dream was a monster for taking it lightly too. For taking his life. What did he do to deserve this? The tears that won't stop mix with the blood below him.
The masked man above him must be speaking based on the slight bob of his head. Ranboo can't hear a thing, own thoughts, dying realizations drowning it all out.
A hard, loud slap to his face that has Ranboo gasping from the movement. It didn't even hurt, weak compared to everything else. The jerk of his body reacting out of instinct had his nerves working overtime. Pain spread out, redstone lined up to a piston hitting him over and over again. He wanted to disappear. His body wanted to sleep.
Only one was going to happen tonight.
Not even hearing whatever Dream was trying to say, it fell on deaf ears, Ranboo stared at the sky again. Searching for stars that weren't there.
A few seconds after he struggled to take a shaky breath, he wasn't there either.
The bed he woke up on hours later felt like pins and needles, blankets itchy, the room was too cold. Maybe it was just him. It didn't matter though, he needed to get diamonds to replace Tommy’s pick that the boy lent him. Mining was more difficult than normal. He felt dead tired and wondered when he fell asleep.
All he knows is that he didn't get enough.