Chapter Text
It was 8 AM on dot when Thomas’ sleep was interrupted by a loud shriek of his doorbell, so unexpected he launched out of the bed with wildly beating heart, expecting about everything – zombie apocalypse, taxes or death. His sleep hazed brain loaded his surroundings very slowly, and with a speed of sloth he came to realize there was no danger around him, that he was in the comfy warmth of his home in boxers, sleepy and without any obligation to be somewhere.
“Didn’t know you can jump this far,” came a muffled rumble from behind him. “Like that goat jumping over mountains.”
“A what now?” Thomas turned around, finally less dumbfounded than a minute ago, and Newt still curled in bed peered at him from under the blanket with his big, brown eyes.
“That goat. Steppe goat?” A yawn. “Ya know. The one that licks the minerals.”
“Like from the meme?”
“Yeee,” the blond grinned and buried himself back into covers. “Okay, batteries low, sleeping now.”
Since Thomas completely forgot why he even jumped out of the bed in the first place and Newt’s idea of sleeping attracted him more than whatever reason that led him out of the warm confines of the bedsheets, he padded back to cuddle his boyfriend from behind, but the moment he put his knee on the mattress the doorbell rang again, even more sharply than before.
“What the hell?” he groaned, turning his body in an opposite direction and dragged himself towards the door with distaste levels higher than Newt’s hatred for reheated tea.
It was Saturday, he had the whole weekend off work and his immediate plans were sleep till noon – probably eat something – have sex with his boyfriend – sleep – maybe eat something – sex again (interchangeable with food and sleep) – movie? Maybe – and sleep/sex/sleep (it wasn’t like he was insatiable, but weekend Newt had a high libido, and Thomas gave in too easily). The fact somebody decided to bother them at 8 AM in the morning made whoever it was behind the door enemy of state #1. That was probably why he didn’t even bother with getting dressed – something he immediately regretted once he opened the door and found his mom standing at the doorstep with a phone in her hand, furiously typing.
“Ah,” slipped from his lips while she stared at him, her eyebrows climbing up. “Uh.”
She started giggling. Thomas felt like slamming the door and hiding under the bed.
“I was just texting you I’m at your flat and where can I find you,” she patted his cheek like he was 10 years old (honestly he felt like it at that moment) and then pushed him gently inside of the flat so she could step in. “I brought cake! Is Teresa home?”
Aah, crap.
It wasn’t like he had bad relationship with his family. Hell, he loved his family, he just… didn’t inform them about his life very often. Or saw them frequently, because they lived in another state and their get-together time was usually something big, like Christmas or birthdays or something. Not to mention he didn’t tell them he had a boyfriend now – a boyfriend who slept in his bed right at this moment, oblivious of the trial ahead of him, butt naked (it was a thing, Newt didn’t bother dressing up after they made love, but Thomas just had to at least wear boxers or he wouldn’t be able to fall asleep how weirdly exposed it made him feel, and Newt had a wicked habit of pulling the hem of his undergarments as far as it went and then releasing it with satisfaction of a child that could pull a prank, especially when Thomas yelped in surprise).
“Ah, no, well, she’s…“ he trailed off helplessly while following his mum’s sure movements through his home, how she put the box with a cake on the counter while shedding her coat and a scarf, looking around with curious light in her eyes. Somehow he could exactly pinpoint the moment when she realized Teresa no longer lived with him, since she stopped in her tracks and returned her attention to him with a silent question.
“We broke up,” he said a little guiltily, even though that ship had already sailed several months ago. It didn’t bother him anymore, he made peace with her and Aris (sort of, kinda, yeah…) and he wouldn’t feel anxious meeting her randomly anywhere. They were both in better place now and that counted. At least he hoped she was as well. Still couldn’t bring himself to text her though, he just let the sleeping dogs lie (he was good at it anyway).
“I see,” his mum reacted slowly, scanning the place again. It made Thomas notice an abundance of Newt’s haphazardly scattered clothes lying around, some of his things he used, like a mug, a small fluffy pillow, few books he used for studies and a small ecosystem project he maintained in a glass box. It wasn’t like she could really recognize that all those things didn’t belong to him, but he felt like she could see right through his skull, reading his mind.
Then her attention shifted and Thomas knew the chance of telling her in advance passed, since when he turned around, he saw Newt standing in the doorway to the bedroom, draped in a blanket (thank god), and looking like a deer caught in highlights. He must have wondered who was at the door and Thomas logical thinking just flew out of the window.
“Hello,” the blond piped, dragging the blanket closer to his body in obvious shame of his naked state. “Sorry to uh. Interrupt.”
“That’s okay,” Thomas’ mum said completely calm. “Hi.”
Thomas could hear the clock on the wall ticking between the silence, crafting a fragile picture of how to break this situation but without any obvious solution.
“I will uh. Go get dressed,” Newt pointed back at the bedroom door, his voice small.
“You do that,” Thomas’ mum smiled at him. Newt stared a bit more, switching between Thomas and for him an unknown lady, and then finally nodded and disappeared behind the closed door. Once the soft click passed, Thomas let out a breath he didn’t know he was holding.
“Well, that happened,” he commented blankly and grabbed the first pants he found on the sofa. Surprisingly his, he would have some serious trouble fitting into Newt’s size.
His mum calmly returned to the kitchen counter and started slicing the cake, took out plates, distributed three pieces on them and then carried them one by one on the table filled with Thomas’ job-related papers and books and Newt’s unfinished puzzle. She didn’t say a word and Thomas wondered what exactly he should say to ease her into an obvious conclusion she already reached anyway, so he just decided to act like it was no biggie (it usually worked for him).
“Since when you’re in the state? And awake so early?”
Because hey, it was 8 AM, his mum usually slept late, it definitely screamed unusual. Especially if she travelled here by plane, because planes made her feel jetlagged even when there was no time adjustments. They usually made fun of her because of that, but she just slept through it.
She started organizing the table, putting Thomas’ paper in neat piles, carefully manoeuvring around the puzzle, while shrugging.
“Well, I had an epiphany yesterday morning, at like… 6,” she said simply. “I haven’t seen my only son for four months, it was like he disappeared. So I thought – oh well, if the mountain won’t come to Mohammed, Mohammed gotta go to the mountain, right? So I bought a ticket and here I am.”
“Sorry,” he apologized sincerely, dragging a shirt over his head. “I had been really shitty with managing my time lately.”
“Mhm.”
“I mean,” he cleared his throat. “Kinda why we broke up with Teresa too. She got fed up.”
“Can’t blame her,” his mum said mercilessly and Thomas only nodded. He didn’t blame Teresa either.
“He doesn’t mind your shitty time management?” came a question that finally addressed the elephant in the room and Thomas barked out a laugh.
“Funnily enough,” he found a pair of socks on the floor (not exactly clean ones) and ignored his mum’s critical expression towards him wearing those. “Since we started dating, my job stopped being a priority.”
“Sounds healthy,” she admitted. “I hope he didn’t run away through the window though, takes unusually long for him to get dressed.”
Thomas glanced towards the bedroom door and couldn’t say he blamed the boy for not wanting to leave the safe confines of the room when the living room became a mine field.
“He’s just shy.” Which was a complete lie. Newt was never shy, he could face any kind of situation head on but… well, suddenly meeting parents while naked probably made him re-evaluate that confidence.
“Should I leave?” she asked in a tone like she meant it and Thomas shook his head. Sure, this situation wasn’t the best formula for meeting lover’s parents but it was here now, so why miss the opportunity? Not to mention he had no idea when she wanted to leave the state again, he was happy to see her after four months.
Unless Newt had a meltdown in the bedroom. That would suck.
“I’ll go check on him,” he mumbled, a little worried, and his mum nodded and leaned against the kitchen counter. She handled it quite well, he thought. Probably processing.
He slipped inside of the bedroom like a ghost and found Newt pacing in front of the bed like a writer high on caffeine, probably trying to burn a line in the carpet. When he heard the door click, he froze and then visibly relaxed again once he spotted Thomas in there.
“On scale from 1 to 10, how bad is it?” Thomas asked with a soft smile and Newt’s hands visibly shook.
“I suppose 20,” the blond whined. “I’m so sorry, that was bloody awkward, I came out in a fucking blanket like a naked burrito.”
“Pfff.”
“Don’t laugh!” he wailed. “This is serious! I can’t face her anymore, I have to stay here and just die in embarrassment!”
“Drama queen,” Thomas reached for him with a chuckle, “what do you think she’ll do? Put you on a stake and burn you like a witch?”
Newt let himself to be dragged into a hug, melting into it with a sigh.
“I don’t know,” he whispered. “I mean. I wanted to meet your family and all but. Not looking like a one-night stand trying to sneak away after being fucked silly, I wanted it to be a little more serious, you know? Like I could make an impression at least by being dressed, at the bare minimum.”
“You can tell her you’re Italian and it’s your choice of attire,” Thomas kissed the top of Newt’s blond hair. “Ancient Rome and all.”
“Ughhh.”
“She wants to meet you though,” Thomas said while trying not to sound like he was pushing it into it. He might have sounded a bit hopeful though. “Wanna give it a try at least?”
“…yeah,” the blond sighed, letting go of Thomas’ protective arms. He was wearing Thomas’ shirt and sweatpants and looked adorable as hell and Thomas realized he didn’t fear anything from the upcoming situation. There was no reason to be unsure or anxious – he was in love, Newt was great, his mum was fun, it was Saturday and there was cake for breakfast. It couldn’t get better than this. So when he took Newt’s hand in his own and reached for the door, his lover didn’t protest and followed him to the living room like a mopey child where Thomas’ mum was making herself a cup of coffee while cleaning the kitchen counter.
She could never just sit down and relax, seriously.
“Hi!” she spotted them immediately and let the kitchen be. “Glad to see I didn’t scare you away.”
“Sorry about that,” Newt immediately reacted and let go of Thomas’ hand so he could approach her, offering her a handshake. She took his hand gently, clasping it in both of her palms and smiled like a sun.
“Could have been worse,” she let go of his hand and patted his cheek, like she always did with Thomas. He was pretty sure Newt felt like 10 years old now too. She could do that to a person. “You’re so cute! What a pretty eyes.”
“Thanks, grew them myself,” Newt visibly melted, obviously regaining his confidence. “Thought Thomas is an only child. Didn’t know he has a sister.”
“Oh god,” Thomas groaned, noticing Newt’s cheeky grin and Thomas’ mum barked out a laugh. She sure was good looking and used to receiving compliments but there was something surreal to get one from a boy that was greeting her from under the blanket just few minutes ago and who dated her son.
“Flatterer,” her eyes crinkled. “Born Casanova. How should I call you, hun?”
“I’m Newt,” the blond introduced himself swiftly. “I’d be happy if you called me hun, though. Sounds cute.”
Thomas groaned again and Newt’s grin widened. He enjoyed it too much.
“No problem, hun!” Of course his mum played along. “Call me Lora. I’ve got you both a cake, so help yourself, okay? I will just make one short business phone call and then we can talk more, how about that?”
“Sounds lovely,” Newt purred at her and she laughed and disappeared in the bathroom, leaving them alone. Thomas could hear her muffled voice across the hallway while watching Newt confidently sit at the table and eat the cake she prepared on the plate.
“Embarrassed my ass,” he commented with a sigh. “You enjoy this, don’t you.”
“A bit,” Newt glanced at him with a spoon in his mouth. “Cake’s fantastic.”
“You’re fantastic,” Thomas rolled his eyes and Newt sent him a kiss.
“Sure am, babe.”
Well, at least he was calm now, Thomas decided to find peace in it. He walked towards him, kissing the top of his head again and Newt offered him a piece of his cake like a newlywed. It really did taste good, chocolate and strawberries (actually Teresa’s favourite but he would never tell that to Newt).
“Your mum is cool,” he heard him saying. “Like a super mum.”
“She is,” Thomas agreed. All of his friends and girlfriends liked his mum. Teresa definitely did and Thomas’ mum adored her, which probably must have been a shock for her when she found out they broke up with Thomas and nobody told her. He wondered if they’d keep in touch or not. But since she didn’t know they broke up, he assumed they talked only in person when they saw each other here, so that gave him a bit more of a breathing room.
At least so far it looked like she liked Newt as well, so there was a chance she wouldn’t pry into the breakup or anything. It’s not like there was much to be said about it anyway (except how Thomas fucked up for nth time in his life, but what else is new. He learned his lesson).
“Sorry about that,” she reappeared again, smiling brightly at both of them. Too brightly. Something was up. Thomas feared the worst. She sat down next to Newt and patted his knee. “So tell me about yourself, hun!”
Thomas narrowed his eyes at her, but she didn’t pay him any mind, which meant bad things. He left them talking and went to the bathroom, scanning the place and only found she organized the towels a bit and wiped the floor.
Seriously, she just couldn’t sit still.
But beside that nothing else seemed to be out of order, so why the bathroom? The only other explanation was the privacy, so she had to call somewhere she didn’t want them to know. She said business but… it’s Saturday. Which meant…
“Oh no,” he breathed out and quickly walked back to the bedroom, passing them like a blur, right to his phone. He already had 2 missed calls and 6 messages.
The calls were from dad. Oh no.
Dad [8:30]: Helloooo.
Dad [8:31]: Pick up your phooooone.
Dad [8:32]: Thomas!
Dad [8:33]: Oi.
Dad [8:34]: Alright then!
Dad [8:35]: I’m coming over now, hope you left some cake for me!
“Aaaa… mum, why!” he whined, scrolling through the messages in terror, but it was honestly too late to answer anyway, especially when he heard his mum laughing in the living room, like a mastermind she was, calling his father here to check the situation too. She couldn’t just leave his dad meeting Newt for another occasion, could she. She just had to give him another heart-attack the same day.
He probably didn’t have much time before his dad would come knocking on the door, demanding strong coffee and a glass of water, and he wasn’t sure how to break it to Newt as gently as possible beforehand. The blond could charm his mum no problem, but his dad was going to be loud addition to the mix and he wasn’t sure how Newt’s going to handle his boisterous attitude.
He returned to the living room glaring at his mum, but their conversation was still ongoing, and he felt bad breaching it and making an accusation right off the bat, so he just waited for the best possible moment which never came. Instead the doorbell rang about 3 minutes later and Newt blinked in surprise, stopping mid word, questioningly glancing at Thomas.
“Expecting Spanish inquisition?” he asked a little meekly, which meant he definitely knew it wasn’t just a postman.
“Nobody expects that,” Thomas glared at his mum a bit more for good measure and she smiled at him sweetly, urging him to go and open the door.
“Hey there!” boomed through immediately once Thomas opened, his father greeting him like a huge cathedral bell. Another two voices echoed behind him and Thomas paled.
Not only had his dad come. He brought grandma and grandpa. They gathered the whole damn family to see Newt like an animal in a cage and he couldn’t believe his eyes. He just hoped Aunt Grace stayed home, that would really be too much for today.
“Oh my god, did you bring the neighbourhood as well?” he greeted them back in desperation and his dad laughed like a dynamite.
“See!” he turned towards the grandparents. “Told you he’d say that!”
“I wonder why,” Thomas grumbled but had no other choice but let them in. His dad apparently brought groceries with him, which scared his poor kitchen to almost halt, and his grandparents had some suspicious looking bottles tucked in their bags, so that meant this wasn’t just a random courtesy call. This was totally planned. He couldn’t recall any upcoming family meeting, birthday celebration or something so that meant they just decided to gang on him out of spite (and love).
They bulldozered their way to the living room first, leaving Thomas behind in the hallway to take few deep breaths first before coming after them, witnessing a scene of Newt being surrounded, his hand shook by three more people, his grandma smothering him in a suffocating hug and calling him cute, and Newt’s wide, spooked eyes from the sudden noise and presence.
“You totally planned this, didn’t you,” he hissed towards his mum who looked awfully proud of herself. “What if I wasn’t home?”
“Well,” she grabbed him around his waist. “That’s why I scouted if you were. We wanted to surprise you for weeks. Well, and Teresa, but since you broke up…”
“Sorry I didn’t let you know,” he huffed. “But Newt is not used to this, I-,”
“He’s lovely,” she interrupted him with a soft smile. “He takes it in a stride, I don’t think you need to worry about him. I told your dad beforehand. He told the grandparents. It’s alright.”
“But-,”
“You know we just want you to be happy, right,” she didn’t let him finish. “I know you’re an adult already, but at least let us have today with you both. I want to know him a little better – we all do.”
He admitted defeat. It wasn’t like he minded them being here, but he didn’t want Newt to feel like he couldn’t escape. He sure did look overwhelmed.
They should’ve at least called. Even Teresa would probably mind if they showed up unannounced without her having time to put on some make-up and a pretty dress.
“And we didn’t take Aunt Grace with us,” his mum added afterwards, which made Thomas sputter. “That counts for something, right?”
“Common sense,” he uttered and watched how Newt got literally sat down in between the oldies while they were pushing a bottle of wine into his arms with ecstatic you’ll drink with us, right?! He wondered if he should interfere, but they reminded him of a brick wall he wouldn’t be able to breach.
“I thought we could cook some meat with chilli,” she suddenly said. “Does he like it?”
“Only one way to find out,” he sighed and decided it was the right time to save Newt when his dad started talking about his favourite football club. Newt was visibly grateful.
***
Being an octopus in his previous life, Newt connected with his past self two hours into the family visit. Lora was slowly finishing cooking, Thomas’ grandparents were pouring from the second bottle of wine (they brought four) and his dad had been interrogating Newt about England as if he planned to be the new king. Newt The Octopus attached himself to Thomas’ torso like a sponge, both of his arms were firmly wrapped around Thomas’ waist and one of his legs was hiked up over Thomas’ lap. He often nuzzled Thomas under his jaw too, like an overaffectionate cat and Thomas slowly realized it wasn’t anything unusual for Newt to do that in front of family – no matter whose. He did this all the time in front of his grandparents after all, and Thomas’ family didn’t even lose a single comment, unlike Newt’s grandpa who had to nag every time he saw them. Sure, Lora sometimes looked at them and wiggled her eyebrows, but that was still good in Thomas’ book.
“First time I’m having chilli for breakfast,” Newt commented when Lora put a plate in front of him with a portion for 4 people. “Sure beats the cereals, huh.”
“Too bad there’s only one toilet,” Thomas hummed under his breath, but Lora still heard it, since she made a disagreeing noise in the back of her throat. She found pride in her cooking but Thomas’ stomach often disagreed if the food was too spicy. And she loved to make it extra spicy for the occasion. He could almost smell the sharpness of the chilli in the air. “Be careful eating that, yeah?”
“Oh please, I’m not a baby,” Newt let go of Thomas’ torso confidently, even though his leg over his lap stayed and Thomas had a feeling the blond would actually like to sit on his lap instead. Thankfully food was more important for him at that moment, since he dug in like it wasn’t a life threatening trap.
Thomas started counting to five. Newt started coughing on four. Thomas’ mum brought a glass of milk and his dad pushed a glass of wine near him too, no matter Newt refused the beverage about six times already, being 18 and all.
“Yum,” he croaked between the coughs and Thomas snickered. He sure loved to be right.
“Oh no, I should have asked if you don’t mind spicy food,” Lora refilled the glass with milk when Newt downed it to extinguish the fire in his throat.
“This is more like a biological weapon though,” Thomas rubbed Newt’s heaving back. “You okay?”
“Fine,” another croak, weaker than the one before, and his face was redder than tomato. It was rather funny, even though he looked pitiful.
“Should have probably said it’s a Habanero Hellfire chili,” Thomas’ dad noted while the grandparents were already eating like the dish wasn’t a killer in a pot (though Thomas had a feeling they already lost all their taste buds after years of eating mum’s cooking). “Lora likes to keep us healthy!”
“Or slowly killing us,” Thomas whispered towards Newt who tried to laugh through his newly added hiccups. “Welcome to the family, you just survived the first trial.”
“Fun,” Newt wiped tears with a small, hiccupy laugh and boldly dug in again. Thomas never knew the boy had a death wish, but here he went, eating a toxic waste to fit in. Sure did score some brownie points with the parents, he could see that in their faces.
***
“I still can’t feel my tongue.”
Thomas glanced towards the blond, finding him poking his tongue like it didn’t belong to him. It was a miracle it didn’t fall off after eating all that.
“That’s what you get by eating liquid fire,” he reminded him of his own misery and Newt licked his lips. The burning in those apparently subsided.
The Inquisition left an hour ago, Newt was sitting on the bed in a tank top and boxers, claiming he was hot as hell, and Lora left them half of the pot of the Hellfire chilli to kill burglars with. Thomas couldn’t imagine eating that. They still had a bottle of wine and some groceries they brought and that could be used for cooking an edible dish for a change, and in overall Thomas thought the visit went rather well. At least Newt didn’t run away and when the family was leaving, he actually hugged all of them with a happy smile – even happier than his own grandparents.
Thomas wouldn’t say that out loud though.
Lora invited them to their house on Christmas, something Thomas had to ponder a bit, even though Newt was up for it immediately. Not sure if being polite or sincere, but it made a good impression and Newt was lit up like a Christmas tree.
“Hey, mister,” he heard above him all of sudden and looked up from papers he was reading, just to see Newt next to him, smiling fondly. “Is this seat free?”
The only armchair Thomas was sitting on was not, of course. Not that it ever stopped the blond, which he demonstrated right the moment he sat on Thomas’ lap, lips widening happily.
“What’s up?” Thomas put the papers down to rest his hands on Newt’s hips, riding the hem of the shirt up a little to feel a stripe of hot, naked skin. “Were you lonely?”
“Yeah,” Newt lowered his lips to Thomas’, slowly touching them with his own. “Thank you.”
“For what?”
“For being perfect.” Newt sighed softly, his pleasant weight on top of Thomas relaxing.
“Oh yeah, that,” Thomas smirked, pulling Newt’s body tighter against his. “You’re welcome.”
“Hehe.”
They rested like that for a while, listening to each other heartbeats and slow breathing, until Thomas felt the blond shift slightly, propping himself up to look into Thomas’ face.
“You think they liked me?”
It surprised him how unsure he sounded. It was glaringly obvious they were all over him the moment they came in.
“They loved you, silly,” Thomas kissed Newt’s chilli reddened lips. “You ate mum’s chilli. We’re practically married.”
“Ha,” the blond bounced on top of him. “Did I score another point against her?”
“Ah geez,” Thomas rolled his eyes. “Yeah, Teresa never ate mum’s chilli dishes. Are you seriously this petty?”
“Yes, quite,” Newt grinned in victory. “Comes with the package, baby. It takes effort to be this jaded, you now.”
“You’re not jaded,” Thomas shook his head. “Just a little childish. I’ll train you right, don’t you worry.”
“Mhm, we’ll see about that.”
In the end Christmas in his family’s house with Newt sounded better every time he thought about it. As long as chilli was not involved.